Latest / The MOOD Podcast / How to Find Your Voice as an Artist - Jaymin Patel, EO90

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How to Find Your Voice as an Artist - Jaymin Patel, EO90 · The MOOD Podcast

• 0:00
  Matt Jacob: Welcome to the Mood Podcast, uncovering the art of conversation through the lens of photography and creativity, one frame at a time.
• 0:08
  Matt Jacob: I'm your host, Matt Jacob, and thank you for joining me, and in this week's episode, I speak with Jamin Patel.
• 0:15
  Matt Jacob: Jamin is a global speaker who has spoken at hundreds of establishments around the world, including TEDx, Harvard, Stanford and so many more.
• 0:24
  Matt Jacob: He is also a high performance coach and spiritual mentor to some of the world's top creative entrepreneurs.
• 0:30
  Matt Jacob: His work blends energetic mastery with deep mindset transformation, helping people step out of fear, access the intuition and lead lives of embodied impact, and so he was a perfect guest for us to revisit really what drives us as photographers, filmmakers and artists.
• 0:48
  Matt Jacob: Now, if you're here for photography talk and wondering why this conversation even matters, I get it, but the truth is, creativity doesn't just come from skill or practice.
• 0:58
  Matt Jacob: It comes from presence, from clarity, from the energy we bring to our work.
• 1:03
  Matt Jacob: And that's exactly why I bring voices like Jamin's onto the show, because if you want to lead with your art and build something meaningful, or just stop burning out while trying to do it at all, this inner alignment stuff isn't optional, it's the foundation.
• 1:19
  Matt Jacob: During my conversation with Jamin, we go deep into what it really means to live in alignment with your creative power.
• 1:25
  Matt Jacob: He shares how to rewire fear, how to stop outsourcing your confidence to external results and how to access that quiet, intuitive knowing that sits beneath the noise.
• 1:35
  Matt Jacob: We talk about masculine and feminine energy and leadership, the myth of doing more, and why ambition without awareness often leads to burnout.
• 1:44
  Matt Jacob: So, whether you're a photographer, coach, writer or simply someone building a vision, this episode will really help you drop the armor and tune to what's already within.
• 1:54
  Matt Jacob: So let's get into it.
• 1:56
  Matt Jacob: Here is Jamin Patel.
• 1:58
  Matt Jacob: Jamin Patel.
• 2:08
  Jaymin Patel: That Jacob.
• 2:09
  Jaymin Patel: Jamie patel, that jacob.
• 2:10
  Jaymin Patel: Welcome to the mood podcast.
• 2:11
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, I'm excited for the mood.
• 2:13
  Jaymin Patel: Let's see what mood we get let's see what mood we're what.
• 2:15
  Matt Jacob: What mood are you in right now?
• 2:16
  Matt Jacob: What mood about playful, playful.
• 2:18
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, that's it playful.
• 2:20
  Matt Jacob: I'm curious, okay, I'm curious, okay, I'm curious to not only understand your story, but understand how you've kind of created this version for yourself and version of yourself, as well as the voice that you present to the world.
• 2:37
  Matt Jacob: So we'll talk a lot about that.
• 2:38
  Matt Jacob: But I'm also curious as to why someone listening to this podcast right now especially a lot of my audience who are interested in photography creativity why would you suggest that they hang around to listen to us today?
• 3:05
  Jaymin Patel: probably drop some gold, even one gold nugget.
• 3:06
  Jaymin Patel: That can really shift something for people who are listening, and not because I think I'm amazing, but I know that when I get into it it's just kind of like it just comes.
• 3:11
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I feel almost like a channel.
• 3:13
  Jaymin Patel: Like you know, for creatives who are watching, they might feel that where they're like something's moving through them to capture a photo or to write a song or to whatever.
• 3:22
  Jaymin Patel: In the same way, when it comes to stuff like this, through speaking, that's like my artistic modality, even though it's a rather functional modality, and so, yeah, I think what I can pretty much guarantee is that something will definitely come through in the magic that's unfolding.
• 3:37
  Jaymin Patel: That can just be that golden nugget, and I just encourage every listener or viewer to like look out for that one golden nugget and really take that and go all the way.
• 3:48
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, and I'll give a little bit of context as to why you're on the show, I guess.
• 3:51
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, you know you and I met through the Barley Brotherhood, which is a men's group here, a men's networking group, and then we kind of started to work together on an event that you held with the Global Possibilities Summit and invited me to be part of that, which was fantastic.
• 4:08
  Matt Jacob: So you coached me a lot on exactly what you said, right, how to bring your voice to the world in an articulate and meaningful and inspirational way, right.
• 4:19
  Matt Jacob: So for people watching this, I remember how it happened and we're going to we're going to do a little video after this and people who are watching on YouTube can see my keynote speech that you coached me on after this.
• 4:31
  Matt Jacob: You rocked it, yeah.
• 4:32
  Matt Jacob: So, I and I only rocked it because of you know the way you worked and I remember our first online kind of coaching session and you would.
• 4:39
  Matt Jacob: You spent an hour basically digging into my story right in the way I put it, and just kind of where I was born and what my background was and what I like and what I don't like in career.
• 4:49
  Matt Jacob: And then you did this and you talk about dropping some magic.
• 4:53
  Matt Jacob: You did this magical thing where you close your eyes and you spend, you know, five minutes basically giving a speech that encapsulated not only my story but what that meant to the world and and clear takeaway.
• 5:05
  Matt Jacob: So that's that's why you're on the show, cause you are.
• 5:09
  Jaymin Patel: You are a magician in your own right, um, and we're going to, we're going to dive into it.
• 5:13
  Matt Jacob: Um so, tell me, tell me what voice means to you, and I don't really mean, obviously, the literal version of that, but tell me, tell me what the meaning of voice, certainly in a kind of creative aspect, means to you.
• 5:26
  Matt Jacob: How would we define that?
• 5:27
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah.
• 5:27
  Jaymin Patel: So to me, this concept of voice in a creative aspect, I really do feel that everything that we do is creative, right, because it impacts people.
• 5:37
  Jaymin Patel: And so, when it comes to voice, I would almost think about it as having this unique frequency or angle in a variety of notes that are floating around, right.
• 5:50
  Jaymin Patel: And so I think what happens a lot in society, especially as we're growing up, is we're all kind of given this ideal voice of like.
• 5:58
  Jaymin Patel: Here's the thing that is the voice we all like, right, and it means getting good grades, going to college, getting a job Right, these things that are celebrated.
• 6:05
  Jaymin Patel: We're kind of moved along towards this one kind of voice, and if we do other things, then maybe that's cool as well.
• 6:11
  Jaymin Patel: And so I think, as grownups, you know, when we're in our own space, our own sovereignty, we want to be able to like, really send a beam out for people to understand what our voice is.
• 6:24
  Jaymin Patel: And the reason that I think voice is important is because it creates permission and possibility, right.
• 6:31
  Jaymin Patel: And so when I look at my own life, people might look at my life and be like Jamin, how do you do all these things that you've done, you know?
• 6:37
  Jaymin Patel: And the reality is, is that somewhere someone in my life was doing something like that Right, and because they did it, I had the permission and the possibility to also do that Right.
• 6:52
  Jaymin Patel: And so for me, I realized just how powerful my voice is, and I was that kind of kid that like naturally, a lot of people would come to me for their relationship woos or their parent stuff.
• 7:04
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I would just be the person that they talk to and I'll tell you something my voice was not honed as a coach, right, and so I was giving pretty terrible advice, like like I look back on it, and I was just I mean, I was a good listener, so I think that was good, but I was really immature and I hadn't found my voice and so when I was speaking back and giving advice, I was like, oh yeah, I just leave her.
• 7:30
  Jaymin Patel: Or you know, like all of these things that actually weren't like loving because I hadn't found my own voice.
• 7:33
  Jaymin Patel: Now, as a professional coach, you know, when people come to me, I've traveled to 70 countries.
• 7:36
  Jaymin Patel: I've, you know, in eight books I've worked with hundreds of coaches to receive coaching.
• 7:41
  Jaymin Patel: I've, I've done all this stuff to really expand what are all the notes that are out there and finding mine and having it be something that's an instrument of love and an instrument of truth.
• 7:53
  Jaymin Patel: And I think everyone's voice is their own angle on what they love and what they see as true.
• 7:59
  Jaymin Patel: And the more that we are all doing that, the more ripples of permission and possibility we're creating in the world.
• 8:04
  Jaymin Patel: And when we're not doing that, the more ripples of permission and possibility we're creating in the world.
• 8:05
  Jaymin Patel: And when we're not doing that, when there isn't a creative expression and everything sounds like the one note that we're all told our whole lives to give, the world gets very boring right.
• 8:16
  Jaymin Patel: And there's a lot of suffering, and so this is why I think voice is really important and that's how I think about voice when it comes to any creative endeavor is that it's an articulation of your essence, and your essence is simply what you believe, what you love and what you think is true, and there's this desire to share that out.
• 8:32
  Jaymin Patel: I think this is beautiful, right.
• 8:34
  Jaymin Patel: I think this is something that people would love.
• 8:37
  Jaymin Patel: Boom, let me put this out there, right, because I love it and I think it's beautiful and I want people to know, and that creates this ripple where other people start doing things.
• 8:47
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, and I think for people who haven't, they've just heard you speak then you know, extremely articulate, extremely inspirational.
• 8:53
  Matt Jacob: So I encourage everyone to go and see your work, your speeches, all of your talks, which we'll put links to your website and everything under that.
• 9:02
  Matt Jacob: Give us a background of how you kind of found your voice and what was the seminal moment that got you into your coaching, your speaking, your multifaceted business, all the books that you've written, the hundreds and hundreds of talks you've done around the world.
• 9:18
  Matt Jacob: Tell us that process for you.
• 9:20
  Matt Jacob: How did it come about?
• 9:21
  Jaymin Patel: So you know, I wouldn't say there was just this one moment, but it was a series of moments and the very first moment is, believe it or not, growing up I was a total introvert, right.
• 9:32
  Jaymin Patel: So I would go to a group, you know, indian American.
• 9:34
  Jaymin Patel: So I'd go to these like big Indian functions for our community.
• 9:39
  Jaymin Patel: And you know, I would arrive there in parking lot and all the little boys they'd be playing like football or something.
• 9:45
  Jaymin Patel: They're like hey, do you want to come play with us?
• 9:47
  Jaymin Patel: And I would just be holding on to my mom, sorry.
• 9:48
  Jaymin Patel: And I would just be like, no, I'm going to stay with my mom and I would just like go in with my mom, and I wouldn't even play with the other kids.
• 9:56
  Jaymin Patel: I was so nervous, I wanted to be a good boy.
• 9:57
  Jaymin Patel: I was just introverted, wasn't sure how to make friends, so I, I didn't really have a voice.
• 10:05
  Jaymin Patel: I was that kid who just hide in his like mom, sorry, you know, at public events.
• 10:07
  Jaymin Patel: And a pivotal moment for me was, I think I was in around seventh grade, ish, or it's like the summer before seventh grade and I, my mom, sent me to a camp, I guess a week-long camp, for seven days.
• 10:21
  Jaymin Patel: I didn't know who's going to be there.
• 10:22
  Jaymin Patel: I didn't know.
• 10:22
  Jaymin Patel: You know, it's like okay, whatever.
• 10:23
  Jaymin Patel: And she's like, yeah, I think it'll be good for you.
• 10:25
  Jaymin Patel: So we're going up to camp and I just have this thought, I have this idea.
• 10:29
  Jaymin Patel: I don't know where it comes from, but I was like what if I just tried something different?
• 10:34
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I think I was in my teen years.
• 10:37
  Jaymin Patel: I was feeling a little bit of, like you know, rebellious energy from how I had been and I wanted to just desperately and drastically be something different.
• 10:47
  Jaymin Patel: So I said, okay, I'm going to go to this thing.
• 10:49
  Jaymin Patel: It's one week long and I'm just going to kind of run this experiment where Jamin is an extrovert and and he's bold and he's courageous and he just really speaks what he wants to speak, and I'm just going to try this out with these strangers that I'm never going to see again.
• 11:03
  Jaymin Patel: It was a few hours from my house and I'm just going to be that Jamin.
• 11:08
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I just wanted to try it out and I went and everybody fell in love with that Jamin.
• 11:14
  Jaymin Patel: That Jamin was like the most popular kid at camp.
• 11:17
  Jaymin Patel: It was incredible the response of me actually using my voice like shining, you know, creating this ripple of permission and possibility.
• 11:25
  Jaymin Patel: People loved it, like it was just such an amazing response.
• 11:28
  Jaymin Patel: Everyone at camp knew me, you know, and at the end of it they all became my friends.
• 11:33
  Jaymin Patel: And then, you know, I knew them for years and we got on road trips together and it just became this community and I was like, wow, I had been not using my voice, whether it was because I wanted to be a good boy or I wanted to impress, you know, or like show my parents I was, you know, subordinate, you know all of these Indian values, whatever that was.
• 11:51
  Jaymin Patel: I hadn't really been doing that.
• 11:53
  Jaymin Patel: And once I had that superpower experience of this little experiment and seeing the response of how attracted people were to my voice when I used it, I ultimately became an extrovert.
• 12:05
  Jaymin Patel: You know, like I came back to my school and I started being way more talkative.
• 12:10
  Jaymin Patel: You know, people were like starting noticing me more because I would just kind of move through the space without really being noticed, and it really just changed the trajectory of my life because I realized my voice is powerful, my presence is powerful and I shouldn't be hiding it, and that was a really, really important lesson.
• 12:26
  Jaymin Patel: And then, from there, I think people you know like my path to now where I am now.
• 12:32
  Jaymin Patel: I grew up as an overachiever, right.
• 12:34
  Jaymin Patel: So I grew up in a household with a lot of expectation and you know just, my parents loved me but they were very strict and my response was people pleasing and overachieving, right.
• 12:46
  Jaymin Patel: So I graduated high school year early.
• 12:48
  Jaymin Patel: I got a full ride scholarship to university.
• 12:50
  Jaymin Patel: They actually paid me to go to school.
• 12:52
  Jaymin Patel: They actually get a check every semester had full free tuition room board books I mean literally did not pay a cent in the US, in Ohio, and then graduated with a degree in engineering, went to like a rotational leadership program at a fortune 500 company where I was managing people.
• 13:10
  Jaymin Patel: I was like 21 when I graduated and I was managing people who were twice, sometimes three times, my age, you know, and so is this really wild experience.
• 13:19
  Jaymin Patel: And um, then, of course, that wasn't enough.
• 13:22
  Jaymin Patel: So I went on to get an MBA from a top business school.
• 13:25
  Jaymin Patel: While I was there I picked up a secondary master's in public policy management why not?
• 13:29
  Jaymin Patel: So then I had an extra degree.
• 13:31
  Jaymin Patel: I went to go work for a top four management consulting firm where I was advising CEOs of Kraft, unilever, you know these, these Citibank, these big companies, and it was wild.
• 13:45
  Jaymin Patel: I would like be in the room making these decisions and I'd have to sign an NDA and then a few weeks later I'd read about it, you know, in the wall street journal.
• 13:51
  Jaymin Patel: It was like I was in that room.
• 13:53
  Jaymin Patel: It was a wild experience and I was like 24, 25 when this was happening, you know so.
• 13:59
  Jaymin Patel: So my voice really started kind of opening me up and my presence and understanding people of how to get to the right place, um, but of course, you know, at that point I got kind of burnt out of.
• 14:10
  Jaymin Patel: I was working 80, 90 hours a week, traveling a bunch you know all this stuff and um, I discovered Burning man and um, and once I went to Burning man I started talking about quitting and becoming a hippie.
• 14:24
  Jaymin Patel: Because that was another pivotal moment, because I realized, even though I was doing all of these things, I was singing the note that somebody else wanted me to sing.
• 14:33
  Jaymin Patel: Does that make sense?
• 14:34
  Jaymin Patel: And Burning man, or any festival, but Burning man, specifically for anyone who's familiar and if you're not, go look it up is a place that's about radical self-expression and radical authenticity.
• 14:46
  Jaymin Patel: And so you go to a place where that is the tenant of how people show up.
• 14:51
  Jaymin Patel: It's incredible to be around.
• 14:54
  Jaymin Patel: It was like that camp that I went to in, you know, seventh grade when I was doing it for myself, but now everybody was doing it and it's like 60 000 people who are doing that and they're coming and they're showing up in their costume or they're naked.
• 15:03
  Jaymin Patel: And they're coming and they're showing up in their costume, or they're naked or they're.
• 15:07
  Jaymin Patel: You know they're doing the wildest things and everyone's just being as authentically, radically you know themselves as possible.
• 15:15
  Jaymin Patel: And so once I had a taste of that after singing that one note, I was like, oh, there's no way I'm going back, and since then my life mission has been to be how do I be this authentic that I'm being at this festival?
• 15:28
  Jaymin Patel: yeah in the middle of the desert, but do it every day of my life, and and that's ultimately what led me to leave management consulting I had written my first book already during that time.
• 15:38
  Jaymin Patel: So I went on a path of becoming a speaker, and and I wasn't even a coach at that time, I was just speaking, you know.
• 15:46
  Jaymin Patel: So I was just being um, a speaker and um, then, slowly, people started coming to me and said hey, can you coach me?
• 15:54
  Jaymin Patel: You know, um, I was talking about networking.
• 15:56
  Matt Jacob: Yep.
• 15:57
  Jaymin Patel: So I said, yeah, I can coach you on networking.
• 15:59
  Jaymin Patel: And then it turned out a bunch of deeper stuff was going on and I was on my own path of doing my own deeper stuff and I started applying it and it turned out I had a knack for getting you know, to get to the place where I can really help someone.
• 16:13
  Jaymin Patel: So coaching became a part of that.
• 16:16
  Jaymin Patel: More books were written, more talks were given, the coaching business expanded.
• 16:20
  Jaymin Patel: I started hiring coaches to teach my methodology.
• 16:23
  Jaymin Patel: Um, and that's led me to where I am today.
• 16:25
  Jaymin Patel: You know, it's just this desire to really like I can see how anyone's voice in the world and everyone's action in the world I'll just go that simple.
• 16:36
  Jaymin Patel: Every action that we take creates an impact, even inaction.
• 16:40
  Jaymin Patel: So when we see people who are not taking action, that's sending out a ripple effect.
• 16:46
  Jaymin Patel: Whether you're a parent in a family, you know whether you're in a brotherhood, whether you're in an organization, if one person sees you not taking action, they get the permission to also not take action and that ripples across that organization.
• 16:58
  Jaymin Patel: But when one person sees you do something amazing, they get inspired to do something amazing and soon everyone's doing something amazing.
• 17:05
  Jaymin Patel: You can kind of see how that works and I, you know, through my travels, I just saw how much of a ripple this all made and it became really important to me to be.
• 17:14
  Jaymin Patel: This light of permission, this light of this is why my company is called Everything Is Possible, because I just want to be the embodiment of that.
• 17:21
  Jaymin Patel: I want to be the embodiment of that.
• 17:22
  Jaymin Patel: I want to be the embodiment of everything that's possible.
• 17:25
  Jaymin Patel: As people go deeper and deeper into my life, they go how are you doing this and that?
• 17:29
  Jaymin Patel: And I was like well, everything is possible.
• 17:35
  Jaymin Patel: And I found a way right, and that's become like a like the signature of my voice.
• 17:36
  Jaymin Patel: Ultimately, is this message for anyone that everything was possible.
• 17:41
  Matt Jacob: Wonderful.
• 17:41
  Matt Jacob: How do you, how do you encourage people to come out of that inaction stage?
• 17:49
  Matt Jacob: People have fears, people have a lot of imposter syndrome, especially when you talk about artists, photographers, filmmakers.
• 17:55
  Matt Jacob: So much imposter syndrome, myself included, and you've obviously been through it, you know, you think about.
• 18:01
  Matt Jacob: You wrote your first book without having any authority in the space.
• 18:06
  Matt Jacob: Right, you got into speaking without anyone knowing who you were, which blows my mind, which is such a wonderful kind of example of everything is possible.
• 18:17
  Matt Jacob: But how do you, how would you tell people, how would you advise people to kind of get to that point, because it's not as simple as well.
• 18:23
  Matt Jacob: Just go and do it, or is it?
• 18:25
  Jaymin Patel: I mean in the simplest form it is.
• 18:27
  Jaymin Patel: But if it was that simple, everybody would be doing it right.
• 18:30
  Jaymin Patel: So, yeah, at the heart of it, yeah, you just got to go do it right, but there's a ton of things that are stacked in that.
• 18:36
  Jaymin Patel: So when I wrote my book, I didn't research all the books out there, I didn't read all them and try to make them better.
• 18:52
  Jaymin Patel: I wanted my own, my own voice, right.
• 18:53
  Jaymin Patel: So I talked specifically about my own experience of how I, you know, was 24 years old and got networked my way through my MBA degree into this high, you know, top management, consulting firms, right, people were like how did you do that?
• 18:59
  Jaymin Patel: Like, people were asking me.
• 19:01
  Jaymin Patel: So, I would say, zooming out, the first question, um, if you're curious of where to go and try something is where are people like responding to you?
• 19:10
  Jaymin Patel: Right.
• 19:11
  Jaymin Patel: And so in my journey, when I was this young kid who barely had any experience and wasn't getting any attention from recruiters at business school, and then I turned around my game and I got an offer from pretty much every company I was targeting, people were like what?
• 19:25
  Jaymin Patel: From pretty much every company I was targeting, people were like what did you do?
• 19:27
  Jaymin Patel: And I was like well, I networked, I changed the way I networked and they go.
• 19:29
  Jaymin Patel: Well, what does that mean?
• 19:30
  Jaymin Patel: Well, I went to events, I talked to people, I called them on the phone.
• 19:33
  Jaymin Patel: What did you say on the phone?
• 19:34
  Jaymin Patel: Right, the questions kept coming.
• 19:45
  Jaymin Patel: And what knew that if I shared that, it could create this ripple of permission and possibility, right?
• 19:49
  Jaymin Patel: So my orientation was already very clear that if I could, if I could somehow take this and put it into a system that anyone could take and use, that they would go really well.
• 20:00
  Jaymin Patel: So I just kind of wrote like this 10 page manifesto, what to do, what not to do, and left it behind for my classmates.
• 20:10
  Jaymin Patel: But then what happened for me later is that I, when I was doing my consulting work, I also um, on the weekends would be a recruiter.
• 20:13
  Jaymin Patel: So I traveled to all these hot business schools on the other side of the table and trying to meet all these students and I realized, oh my God, they don't even know what's going on, like everyone's confused.
• 20:22
  Jaymin Patel: And I was frustrated being on the other side of the table.
• 20:24
  Jaymin Patel: That's when I was like, okay, this is so clear, somebody needs to solve this.
• 20:28
  Jaymin Patel: I was frustrated as a student but I didn't know what to do, and now I'm frustrated as a recruiter because the students still don't know what to do.
• 20:33
  Jaymin Patel: Let me just put this into the world so that these two things can connect.
• 20:38
  Jaymin Patel: So it all was my own download, my own experience, my own methodology.
• 20:43
  Jaymin Patel: It was.
• 20:43
  Jaymin Patel: I was not this credible, you know, authority in in that field, but I wanted to make my contribution.
• 20:50
  Jaymin Patel: So the first thing is to just listen.
• 20:52
  Jaymin Patel: You know, even when I went from speaking to being a speaker coach, it was because 30 people had asked me in one year, jamin, how do I do what you do?
• 21:01
  Jaymin Patel: And I was like, oh, maybe I should put together a course to teach people this right.
• 21:06
  Jaymin Patel: And I started creating tools in my courses that could help people, you know, be successful.
• 21:10
  Jaymin Patel: So I think that's the first thing.
• 21:13
  Jaymin Patel: The first thing is it's not just willy-nilly go, try everything anywhere, but find the thing where there's already a lot of signals coming to you from the universe of like, yeah, you probably want to move in this direction, whether that's writing a song, taking a photo, um, writing a book, you know, even shooting videos, starting a podcast, like whatever that might be for that person.
• 21:34
  Jaymin Patel: Just pay attention first.
• 21:36
  Jaymin Patel: I think that's the first thing, because if you're paying attention to what the universe is throwing at you, the universe is going to support you when you're actually doing it Right.
• 21:43
  Jaymin Patel: So that's huge.
• 21:44
  Jaymin Patel: How do we pay attention?
• 21:46
  Jaymin Patel: How you pay attention?
• 21:47
  Jaymin Patel: Just notice what are people saying around you.
• 21:50
  Jaymin Patel: You know, what are people coming to you for?
• 21:51
  Jaymin Patel: What are people noticing about you?
• 21:53
  Jaymin Patel: What are people complimenting you on?
• 21:55
  Jaymin Patel: You know, some people might say, hey, you know, matt, I saw your photos, but you haven't been posting any lately.
• 21:59
  Jaymin Patel: That's a sign, no-transcript.
• 22:28
  Jaymin Patel: Somebody is really wishing for that boat to be created.
• 22:30
  Jaymin Patel: Does that make sense?
• 22:32
  Jaymin Patel: And so, for me, every time I think about anything that I create, whether it's a book, whether it's a program, whether it's a summit, right, it's like people need this.
• 22:41
  Jaymin Patel: There's something where I'm gonna be creating this thing that's gonna meet magically, something that people really are looking for.
• 22:48
  Jaymin Patel: Does that make sense?
• 22:49
  Jaymin Patel: And so, anytime your creativity is, like, comes from a place of generosity instead of a place of ego, right?
• 22:58
  Jaymin Patel: Like, oh, I'll be looked at new, differently, or people will think of me a certain way, I think that's healthy.
• 23:03
  Jaymin Patel: So I'm not saying it's bad, but it shouldn't be your primary thing, Right?
• 23:06
  Jaymin Patel: So it's like yeah, everybody wants that and everybody deserves that.
• 23:09
  Jaymin Patel: I want everyone to have that like feeling of like, being seen and adored and you know all of those things.
• 23:16
  Jaymin Patel: But really is paying attention to like, how can I contribute to this fabric of humanity that's constantly unfolding?
• 23:23
  Jaymin Patel: And when I take this action, what impact can that have?
• 23:28
  Jaymin Patel: And if I take an inaction right now, what am I holding back from what the world may need?
• 23:32
  Jaymin Patel: And when you look at the world that way, it changes everything.
• 23:35
  Jaymin Patel: Because now you're excited to pick up the camera, because it doesn't matter how many likes you get.
• 23:40
  Jaymin Patel: It's that that one person sees that there's this one photo that you had that I just look at and, um it, just it, just it really hit me.
• 23:47
  Jaymin Patel: You know, it's like this, like balinese road, you know, just like this um, beautiful thing, and it just has like this like empty space in it.
• 23:55
  Jaymin Patel: You know, and it gave me this feeling and I think that's why you took that photo.
• 24:00
  Jaymin Patel: No, I'm not the only reason.
• 24:01
  Jaymin Patel: You took it right, because I'm sure thousands of people have seen that, but there's something of like it's going to hit us.
• 24:07
  Jaymin Patel: It's going to hit us in a unique way.
• 24:09
  Jaymin Patel: So when you work to express yourself in a way that feels so compelling, that means the universe is kind of like already tying you to the people who need what's going on.
• 24:20
  Jaymin Patel: That's why we're here together, because someone's going to watch this, they're going to get something right, and it's going to go and create this additional thing.
• 24:26
  Jaymin Patel: This is a bigger thing going on around us, right, and our creative expression is its fuel.
• 24:31
  Jaymin Patel: So when we are in our creative expression, this evolution of our humanity is being supported, and when we're holding back, when our stories and our judgments and our fears and our anxiety and our depression, all that sort of stuff, it's actually stifling that.
• 24:47
  Jaymin Patel: Does that make sense?
• 24:48
  Jaymin Patel: So?
• 24:49
  Jaymin Patel: So, number one yeah, that's.
• 24:51
  Jaymin Patel: You just got to listen, like, listen to what, what's coming around.
• 24:53
  Jaymin Patel: Little comments that are just like, hey, I'm curious about this, or can you show me that thing, or hey, I really liked that thing that you did, all of those are just like universe kind of giving you a little signal like hey, move in this direction.
• 25:03
  Matt Jacob: Would you sorry to cut you off there.
• 25:05
  Matt Jacob: I know you've got more to say about that, but would you also throw in listening to yourself, or is that dangerous?
• 25:10
  Matt Jacob: Cause you, you know you have you tell yourself stories and maybe it's difficult to understand, Cause if I'm dumbing that down for us laymen, what you talked about, very articulately is really kind of finding out what feels good to put out there in the world and therefore feels true, authentic, meaningful to you, right?
• 25:30
  Matt Jacob: So I feel comfortable doing this regardless of what other shit is out there, right?
• 25:34
  Matt Jacob: So that's kind of also tapping into your own psyche and to really understanding, okay, what do I actually want to do and what do I feel like I can do comfortably and authentically?
• 25:47
  Matt Jacob: You talk about authenticity a lot, absolutely.
• 25:50
  Jaymin Patel: So you have to listen to yourself, and then that's where you just then use to do it, because when you know, you know, and here's what else I would offer is that the creative process ends the moment you post something, or let's just say it's a social thing, because now we post our creativity through social media.
• 26:06
  Jaymin Patel: So for me, you know I'm also a writer and so you know people love reading my posts, they love reading my emails, like they just love what I write.
• 26:14
  Jaymin Patel: And so for the longest time I would write and then I'd be checking oh, did it get likes, did it get comments?
• 26:19
  Jaymin Patel: Like what's going?
• 26:19
  Matt Jacob: on.
• 26:20
  Jaymin Patel: And a big lesson for me was that the moment I posted it, it's enough, it's already enough, it's enough, and I can just spend the next two days not looking at it and then come back and just see what kind of response I got.
• 26:32
  Jaymin Patel: And it might get literally.
• 26:34
  Jaymin Patel: I will go from getting, like you know, three likes, one comment to 300 likes, 70 comments or whatever.
• 26:40
  Jaymin Patel: It might be right, like, and I have no idea why.
• 26:44
  Jaymin Patel: Certain things could be the algorithm, it could be what happened that day, it could be a variety of things, but I write from my heart and once I post it, now I'm done, it's enough, it's already enough.
• 26:56
  Jaymin Patel: It's enough because now it's already on the platform for the world to see, and I think if more creatives could just be okay with that and not be lingering in what happens afterwards, right Then then, like you're, you're totally fine.
• 27:10
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, it's breaking down is easy to say and it's breaking down the the intent to not live for someone else.
• 27:18
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, right, to not do something for someone else.
• 27:20
  Matt Jacob: So when I say someone else, your audience or your family or your friends or your partner, obviously that's a little bit different.
• 27:27
  Matt Jacob: That's relationship stuff.
• 27:29
  Matt Jacob: But when you're posting or creating or going out with your camera or writing, sitting down, right, you're not thinking about what do the people want me to say or what will get me the most likes.
• 27:42
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, now, I think there's a healthy balance for that, because you know, if you're I don't want to talk about social media but if you're more, if you have, if you're able to grow your audience, that means you can impact more people.
• 27:53
  Matt Jacob: Right, they go together.
• 27:55
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, they do get.
• 27:55
  Jaymin Patel: Oh, my god, it frustrates me so much when people are just like putting their stuff out there, or like I have, you know friends who are musicians and have incredible music and I'm like like when are you having a concert?
• 28:04
  Jaymin Patel: Like when can I come, like buy a ticket to see you perform this?
• 28:07
  Jaymin Patel: And then they like they don't, why not?
• 28:09
  Jaymin Patel: Because they're afraid, they're afraid of being seen or being rejected or being too much or being not enough.
• 28:16
  Jaymin Patel: We have the same stories.
• 28:17
  Jaymin Patel: All of us have.
• 28:18
  Jaymin Patel: I have those, you have those, and so what I recommend for the second part of your original question is first you have to listen to where you kind of want to go, try, and once you can feel that it just know that you're going to be supported in that.
• 28:31
  Jaymin Patel: But then you have to come across this these stories right, these internal stories are too much, not enough, be rejected.
• 28:38
  Jaymin Patel: Put myself out there, and for that what, what I ultimately recommend is, you know, no-transcript.
• 29:07
  Jaymin Patel: My first go, don't try to go zero to 60.
• 29:09
  Jaymin Patel: Like it doesn't, it doesn't make sense to go.
• 29:12
  Matt Jacob: They should look at our first few episodes, right, yeah.
• 29:14
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, but I mean that's the whole thing.
• 29:15
  Jaymin Patel: Look at the first few episodes of any podcast.
• 29:17
  Matt Jacob: Right.
• 29:25
  Jaymin Patel: So so I actually encourage that, because people aren't really thinking of that, right, so they go zero to 60.
• 29:28
  Jaymin Patel: The other thing is that what people will do that, I find, is that they'll take a current situation and they'll project it out into the future forever, right, and the reality is that it's going to be dynamic, so what they might be like, oh gosh, but then if I do that, I have to keep doing that, and then if I keep doing that, it's going to take away from this and you go into these stories of like scarcity of resources or time or money or whatever, right, and they're like, yeah, you know I love to promote my album, but that's like a whole thing.
• 29:52
  Jaymin Patel: You know I have to be this and I'm like, no, it's, it's whatever you want it to be.
• 29:56
  Jaymin Patel: You can be on, you can be off.
• 29:57
  Jaymin Patel: It's a knob you can turn and you don't have to like completely dedicate yourself to something and become this other version of you to do something.
• 30:10
  Jaymin Patel: It's like you can just do it Right and then see, like, just follow the breadcrumbs as it happens and be with the moment and don't project out, because people will project out and be like, oh my God, then I'll have all these viewers that I'll have to manage them, then I need a lead magnet and I'll need an email list and I just don't have time for that and they won't do it because they're projecting all of this stuff out.
• 30:29
  Jaymin Patel: But that stuff just comes organically and you'll find yourself ready at every moment.
• 30:33
  Jaymin Patel: So, just like with you with speaking, find your edge right, find where your edge is.
• 30:40
  Jaymin Patel: And I say this with networking, I'm like everything I teach people to how to go create these personal connections in their you know, networking.
• 30:51
  Jaymin Patel: I'm like don't, don't go talk to the most influential person who can help you in your career.
• 30:53
  Jaymin Patel: Next, right, just like, go talk to somebody else at this event today and practice that, and then go to someone who seems a bit intimidating, or someone in a line at Starbucks or you know wherever you get coffee.
• 31:01
  Jaymin Patel: Like, just start using this tool of introducing yourself and then find your next edge and your next edge and pretty soon by the time you, you know, get in front of a recruiter or an influential individual who can help you.
• 31:11
  Jaymin Patel: You're gonna feel so natural at it.
• 31:13
  Jaymin Patel: Right, and the same thing for you.
• 31:15
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, you were already a great speaker, but there was an edge, right, there was some nerves going out in front of this audience, and so I created it in a way that would be this edge experience Doable, but edgy, right.
• 31:30
  Jaymin Patel: That's what the whole summit is to bring you know speakers into a higher platform, and so that's the idea is that you don't have to go zero to 60.
• 31:38
  Jaymin Patel: Find where your edge is and then do something there.
• 31:41
  Jaymin Patel: Right, if that just means drawing you know 10 drawings in your notebook and not showing anyone, but committing to just those 10, and that feels edgy.
• 31:50
  Jaymin Patel: What's the next edge after that, maybe taking them out of the notebook and putting them up on a wall.
• 31:56
  Jaymin Patel: What's the next edge after that?
• 31:58
  Jaymin Patel: Inviting over a friend?
• 31:59
  Jaymin Patel: See if they notice right, what's the next edge?
• 32:01
  Jaymin Patel: So you know you don't have to go and make these sketches so that they're worthy of the Smithsonian Like we're not going there.
• 32:08
  Jaymin Patel: So get out of that mindset.
• 32:09
  Jaymin Patel: Let yourself be in a place where you're taking it edge by edge and it just naturally unfolds interesting.
• 32:17
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, tell me a little bit about the coaching side of things, because I really want to like dive into you, don't just I mean, you can just become a coach, but I want to kind of get into where it really changed for you and you.
• 32:32
  Matt Jacob: You started to coach people not just with speaking, but with business, essentially right, being an entrepreneur.
• 32:39
  Matt Jacob: When we talk about creativity and I've talked about this even in my speech as well like creativity is everywhere, right.
• 32:44
  Matt Jacob: People say creativity and they think, well, artists, we're all artists of our own life and whatever, especially entrepreneurs, right.
• 32:50
  Matt Jacob: So can you kind of remember the first time where your coaching voice really landed and maybe, you know, made that impact?
• 32:59
  Matt Jacob: And I want to ask you a little bit, why coaching and not other kind of areas of life?
• 33:04
  Matt Jacob: But, yeah, I'm really interested to hear, like, were there moments like that where you felt, oh, I've really kind of maybe changed someone's life?
• 33:11
  Jaymin Patel: Oh yeah, oh my gosh, I think, um, you know I'm I would say number one that I'm a bit bolder.
• 33:18
  Jaymin Patel: I would say number one that I'm a bit bolder.
• 33:26
  Jaymin Patel: Um, you know, nowadays, so I, I do have this aspect of just going for it.
• 33:27
  Jaymin Patel: You know I've, I have so many reps in from my twenties, you know, and even from that seventh grade experience, like just onwards, that I have a higher propensity for boldness, right, and I, it just comes with practice.
• 33:39
  Jaymin Patel: It's like a muscle that you built and so, you know, you can cut the gap and you can get to a level of boldness that I feel I'm at in a year or two.
• 33:47
  Jaymin Patel: It took me, you know, 10 years of moving at my pace and my edge.
• 33:51
  Jaymin Patel: So I've had tons of moments where people feel like they've gotten, you know, their whole life changed.
• 33:59
  Jaymin Patel: You know, in a conversation with me, you know, and, and this moment people are like they've gotten, you know, their whole life changed.
• 34:01
  Jaymin Patel: You know, in a conversation with me, you know, and, and this moment people are like, oh, that's it, you know.
• 34:06
  Jaymin Patel: So that happens a lot.
• 34:07
  Jaymin Patel: Um, but there was one moment specifically that I want to share where, yeah, the coaching thing kind of was a natural thing.
• 34:17
  Jaymin Patel: People were just asking me about it, so then I started talking about it I've always been very good at business and then I started creating programs and packages and people were really, you know, confused about all those things and so so, yeah, so I was kind of at this point I think this is maybe when I was like the first couple years in Bali and I was doing this thing, matt, where I was coaching, but with different voices to different people so I had, um, my coaching business that was helping coaches, right, very Bali thing to do, uh, which is business coaching how do you create an offer, get leads, um, do sales calls, that sort of stuff.
• 35:00
  Jaymin Patel: Then, secondly, I was still coaching speakers and how to land stages, to get paid to speak, right.
• 35:07
  Jaymin Patel: Then I was a dad and fatherhood became such an important thing for me because my second son I caught him, you know, in an emergency situation where no one can get to us we couldn't get to anyone in our bathroom and he came like this and we welcomed him into the world.
• 35:22
  Jaymin Patel: You know, in an emergency situation where no one can get to us, we couldn't get to anyone in our bathroom and he came like this and we welcomed him into the world, you know, and that again signal from the universe was like fatherhood is is super important to me.
• 35:30
  Jaymin Patel: I've always wanted to be a dad, always, always, always.
• 35:32
  Jaymin Patel: So it's always been important.
• 35:33
  Jaymin Patel: But that moment I was like man.
• 35:35
  Jaymin Patel: This happens to other dads.
• 35:36
  Jaymin Patel: I want them to be prepared.
• 35:38
  Jaymin Patel: So then I was also doing dad coaching, right?
• 35:40
  Jaymin Patel: So I was coaching dads, running this annual event called Dad Week, the week before Father's Day, helping dads get together and feel worthy of all the love and attention that they're receiving and become better dads.
• 35:50
  Jaymin Patel: So I kind of had these three coaching things I was doing.
• 35:55
  Jaymin Patel: Plus, I was still on, you know, 5,200 stages a year teaching, networking and, on my main, kind of speaking.
• 36:01
  Jaymin Patel: So I kind of had these four different things.
• 36:04
  Jaymin Patel: And then, you know, just being in conscious community, I was also, you know, moving through you know, plant medicines, right, a lot of like traditional indigenous rituals and practices and things like this.
• 36:19
  Jaymin Patel: And there's this moment where aries said to me she was, I think, she my wife.
• 36:24
  Jaymin Patel: She was like I think you need to go to the mountains, you know, and I'm like I think you're right, because I just things were not landing.
• 36:30
  Jaymin Patel: It felt like I was just veilingly trying to be all of these brands instead of just, you know like it was like, yeah, so different all the pieces.
• 36:38
  Jaymin Patel: And so I went up to the mountains and, uh, I had some uh like surgic acid with me, don't know what that is acid oh, just acid, yeah yeah, uh, psychedelic and, um, when I went up and I I I took a few drops.
• 36:57
  Jaymin Patel: Uh, turned out it was a little bit heavier, if it does.
• 37:00
  Jaymin Patel: Sorry, where was this you?
• 37:01
  Matt Jacob: say the mountains, was it?
• 37:03
  Jaymin Patel: yeah, in the mountains, yeah and a.
• 37:06
  Jaymin Patel: I want to say specifically where what mountain but it was in the mountains.
• 37:11
  Jaymin Patel: So I go up to the mountains and I take this and it's a beautiful experience and all this sort of stuff.
• 37:16
  Jaymin Patel: Um, it starts getting late at night so I'm like, okay, great, like I'm gonna make my way back down to get onto my bike and as I'm coming down, um I find this like tree, you know, and I I just kind of like felt, it felt like a guardian to the mountain sort of thing.
• 37:31
  Jaymin Patel: So I was leaving out coming to the flatland and I just kind of tripping at this point.
• 37:35
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, so having a really beautiful experience, you know.
• 37:40
  Jaymin Patel: And so I kind of just, uh, was coming down and I kind of bowed down and I was like I thank you to the mountain of like thank you for this beautiful experience.
• 37:46
  Jaymin Patel: And as I bowed down, it 10 X like my trip, like it was, like everything arrived in that moment is so weird, and so I couldn't keep going down the rest of the way, I just had to sit down in the trail by this tree and ultimately, you know again, you know, uh, whatever your views might be on psychedelics, I think they're beautiful.
• 38:10
  Jaymin Patel: I think there's a lot of fear, um, around them.
• 38:13
  Jaymin Patel: I think there's a lot of stories around them and I think the reality of being with them and having them be a guide in my life for over a decade, um, is that they're very powerful.
• 38:26
  Jaymin Patel: And so I sat down on the mountain and it kind of felt like I was speaking with spirit, and spirit was very much like hey, listen, it's time for you to really find your voice and shine as who you are and instead of doing all of these little things, you need to come out of the closet about everything that you're doing.
• 38:45
  Jaymin Patel: You know plant medicine, psychedelics, you know this kind of traditional shamanistic work that I was getting into as well, as you know your business stuff and your family stuff and your sex and relationship stuff and your communication stuff, like bring it all.
• 39:02
  Jaymin Patel: Like you find that voice and um, and it was so interesting, cause it?
• 39:08
  Jaymin Patel: It literally showed me the faces of five people and it said go make an offer to these five people and just invite them into a container where you're in, work with them on everything in their life, all of it business, you know, sacredness, sexuality, communication, whatever it might be.
• 39:26
  Jaymin Patel: So, again, that was a very clear message.
• 39:29
  Jaymin Patel: So I, I listened, um, came off the mountain, you know, took care of myself, came home and reached out to those five people and set up a lunch every day with each of the five people and each lunch.
• 39:44
  Jaymin Patel: I said, hey, this is ultimately what occurred, this is what I'm stepping into and I want to invite you into this offer.
• 39:50
  Jaymin Patel: It's 10K.
• 39:50
  Jaymin Patel: And three out of the five said yes, I had a 30K week and I just created this three-month journey where I surprised myself.
• 39:59
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I was like lighting sage, I had a drum, but I was giving business advice all in one session.
• 40:04
  Jaymin Patel: You know, it'd be like a long winding session, but it was everything somebody needed, because I was meeting them on a spiritual level, meeting them on a beliefs level, meeting them on a mindset level, meeting them on a strategy level.
• 40:16
  Jaymin Patel: I was just kind of fully integrating.
• 40:18
  Jaymin Patel: And so this ultimately combined with the conversation that I had with my wife when we were at a wedding, um, and she just kind of saying, like you know, if you, if you were to die, you know, is there anything that feels like left undone that you haven't done yet?
• 40:33
  Jaymin Patel: I thought it was a really beautiful question and I encourage everyone who's listening or viewing to think about this for yourself.
• 40:41
  Jaymin Patel: And what came to me was you know, I've I've been very blessed to be successful in my speaking and coaching career, and so I've invested well over you know $500,000 into receiving coaching.
• 40:56
  Jaymin Patel: So I've invested about half a million dollars into coaches to coach me Right, um, and so I've received so much beautiful value, um, from all of these coaches, including, you know, mainstream stuff to really off the cuff, you know, random things to deep ceremonial aspects.
• 41:17
  Jaymin Patel: I mean the full gamut.
• 41:18
  Jaymin Patel: And I said, well, one thing I haven't done is I've.
• 41:22
  Jaymin Patel: I would want this to be summarized for our kids, so when they're older, at some point, if I'm not around and I had died, this would live on.
• 41:32
  Jaymin Patel: And so what I did was I I started mapping out all the things that I had learned in my journey and and I then started putting into a sequence.
• 41:40
  Jaymin Patel: I started seeing pieces were missing and I would intuitively fill those pieces that were missing and I put together this methodology, which I call the fully lived method, and that was a moment where this journey of me coming to my identity, of being this person who really cares about everyone being fully lived in every aspect of their life, and then creating this methodology of what I would leave as a you know, heirloom for my kids, right, those two things came together and it became the way that I coach.
• 42:11
  Jaymin Patel: So, you know, when I work with people, you know, even on their strategy or even on their speaking, there's a lot of internal stuff that I work with them on as well.
• 42:18
  Jaymin Patel: Right, it all comes, all comes together, and there's this weird shamanic aspect of like I close my eyes and I can just see your essence and I can begin to articulate it into possibility, right, so there's these like kind of channeling, magical power, sort of things that are also part of what I do, but it is also very pragmatic structuring of here's a strategy for how you go take the next step.
• 42:41
  Jaymin Patel: So that just kind of became the way that I coached.
• 42:43
  Jaymin Patel: It was that moment on the mountain and that moment at the wedding that, when they came together, I realized, yeah, no, no business coach ever will tell you to go be the coach that does everything for everyone.
• 42:54
  Matt Jacob: Don't ever do that.
• 42:55
  Jaymin Patel: And I fully have stepped into very successfully being the coach that does everything for everyone, but not for everyone, usually for creatives, consultants, experts, coaches, you know, who want to go and bring their mark into the world and elevate their influence.
• 43:08
  Jaymin Patel: That's really the person that I work with, but what I do for them is everything right.
• 43:14
  Jaymin Patel: I make sure they're having great sex.
• 43:15
  Jaymin Patel: I make sure that they're being creative in their work.
• 43:18
  Jaymin Patel: I make sure they have great strategies.
• 43:19
  Jaymin Patel: I make sure they're really managing their finances and like planning out like how to make sure they have lots of money right, helping them with their communication, relationships with their kids all of it, because all of it is involved.
• 43:30
  Jaymin Patel: I need this, yeah.
• 43:33
  Matt Jacob: We all need it.
• 43:34
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, we live in a place that has so many coaches, so I want to talk a little bit about that, and I've coached most of them really, and there's a joke that between my wife and I we've coached like half a bottle really it's not too far from the truth yeah, it's easy to, because I've had my fair share of coaching.
• 43:54
  Matt Jacob: Um, I'm always looking for ways to better things, better ways to do things right.
• 43:58
  Matt Jacob: I think that's you know.
• 43:59
  Matt Jacob: I'm in a very privileged position where I can do the same, invest a lot of money into making myself a better husband, boss, creative, whatever it might be, so I'm all for it.
• 44:10
  Matt Jacob: But you know, there is a point where it's just like I don't know if this coach is real yeah or has like the experience I need them to have.
• 44:20
  Matt Jacob: Or they're just making stuff up, or they're just copying a template, or there is, you know, we talk about this and wonderful story, but there is kind of a caveat.
• 44:30
  Matt Jacob: I was like, just you still got to be careful and again listen to what is out there and do your research.
• 44:35
  Jaymin Patel: Obviously I really you know.
• 44:36
  Jaymin Patel: So what I've realized is, yeah, there are these coaches who I know and love, but they've just finished their first coaching certification and they're like create your dream life right now.
• 44:47
  Jaymin Patel: And I was like you.
• 44:48
  Jaymin Patel: Literally you're not in a relationship.
• 44:52
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, you're like 22.
• 44:53
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you haven't lived life yet.
• 44:54
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 44:54
  Jaymin Patel: You don't have any kids.
• 44:55
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, having kids is huge, huge, it's a thing.
• 44:57
  Jaymin Patel: Having kids is a huge, huge, like, it's a thing you know, like when you have, it's like, yeah, I would highly recommend, like any coach that has a kid you know, because they're really understanding like the deep trauma connection of our childhood and how it formulates.
• 45:13
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, every day I look at my children and I become a new person because my programming wants to yell at them and stop them and shape them, but what I choose to do instead is to get curious and listen and encourage right, and that ability every single day, every moment, to constantly be in the practice of that, wow, what that does for who I am as a human and as a coach is incredible.
• 45:35
  Jaymin Patel: So so, yeah, I think the main thing is I get really frustrated by this because people will be like I'll unlock all your subconscious patterns so you can be a limitless, you know.
• 45:47
  Jaymin Patel: And then I look at them and then they're not in all of the things right.
• 45:50
  Jaymin Patel: I'm like, well then, why aren't you in a loving relationship?
• 45:52
  Jaymin Patel: Oh well, you know women on this island or you know stuff like that.
• 45:54
  Jaymin Patel: So here I am, you know, in a long-term, committed relationship to children.
• 45:59
  Jaymin Patel: Super successful business has been consistently multi-six figures for a decade.
• 46:04
  Jaymin Patel: Right and in my full creativity, I go to dance.
• 46:09
  Jaymin Patel: I have these beautiful.
• 46:10
  Jaymin Patel: You know I'm flying to a conscious sex festival at a castle in France next week to go teach sexuality.
• 46:18
  Jaymin Patel: Um, you know, this is just my life.
• 46:20
  Jaymin Patel: And so I think it's like, yeah, when you're finding support or finding coaches, you want to really know them, and what I have found for myself is that, yes, like marketing can be great to draw people in, but when people really get to know me and they get to see my life and also they understand I'm not a cocky asshole, because most people perceive that about me because of the way I talk- there is no, there is a wonderful inspirational air of confidence about you that doesn't even broach a breach like the ego arrogance level, and you know you can see that really balanced extrovert in you.
• 46:54
  Matt Jacob: There's just, you know, you've got, you've got the fucking proof.
• 46:57
  Matt Jacob: Like you know you can do it right.
• 46:59
  Matt Jacob: This is like fucking well.
• 47:00
  Matt Jacob: So what?
• 47:01
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, I'm here, I've done it, I can do it.
• 47:03
  Jaymin Patel: I do it again, million times exactly there's a feeling, um, that really just dropped in for me, maybe about a year, maybe a year and a half ago, which changed a lot of things also, and that is this realization that I came to where I've done enough work and I've achieved enough things or created them in my life, where I know that when I walk into a room, I'm the coolest person in the room.
• 47:34
  Jaymin Patel: I know I'm the most interesting, cool person in the room.
• 47:37
  Jaymin Patel: I know it and I just have that in me now like as a layer of confidence.
• 47:41
  Jaymin Patel: So I'm not going in there trying to prove myself, trying to blah, blah, blah.
• 47:45
  Jaymin Patel: It's like people find out so slowly about me.
• 47:48
  Jaymin Patel: They're like how did I not know this about you?
• 47:50
  Jaymin Patel: You have eight books, or you have blah, blah, blah, you know, like whatever, and I'm like it's just there, you know, and so.
• 47:55
  Jaymin Patel: So there's this layer where it's like landed to me.
• 47:58
  Jaymin Patel: But because I have this air of confidence, people conflate that with cockiness and that's definitely not what I want to put.
• 48:05
  Jaymin Patel: It's not the frequency I want to put out into the world, but people might project it on me or they may perceive that.
• 48:12
  Jaymin Patel: But when they get to know me and they get to see that I'm like literally living this life that has all the things that they want and they didn't think that it could all happen together simultaneously, they go okay, yeah, now I want to work with you all right.
• 48:26
  Matt Jacob: Well, tell me, you know, we'll go back to that story of you coming down the mountain, which is absolutely fascinating, and it felt like you know that was a moment, one of a few, the way you've found your voice, or at least a way to congregate that that voice into one, for you know, these multiple voices into into one.
• 48:45
  Matt Jacob: What, what, why, why do we talk about, why do we talk about voices being so important?
• 48:50
  Matt Jacob: You know, we think about the photographer who likes to go and take photos in their spare time, the weekend, and they're looking, they're thinking about oh, I'd really love to do more of this, but but I don't know how to, you know, create a style or a portfolio, or I don't know how to do create a business.
• 49:06
  Matt Jacob: So I'll just stick in my nine to five job and I'll just kind of muddle along and maybe I'll grow a couple hundred followers on Instagram and maybe I'll go on a workshop every now and then, but I'll just kind of try and enjoy it.
• 49:18
  Matt Jacob: Why, why would we kind of encourage them to step out of that comfort zone?
• 49:24
  Matt Jacob: And why is that voice?
• 49:26
  Matt Jacob: You know, searching for that voice, or at least trying to articulate it?
• 49:30
  Matt Jacob: Why is that important in terms of what?
• 49:33
  Matt Jacob: What would come of?
• 49:34
  Jaymin Patel: that it's a great question and, honestly, this is why people should contact you for your photography mentorship, right, because this is ultimately what you do.
• 49:42
  Jaymin Patel: And same thing for me.
• 49:43
  Jaymin Patel: Like you know everything that I wanted to create, I found a coach for it.
• 49:46
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I've had a business coach, I've had a speaking coach, I've had a sexuality coach.
• 49:50
  Jaymin Patel: It's not like I just know this stuff.
• 49:52
  Jaymin Patel: It's like I'm talking half a million dollars of receiving coaching from everyone Anyone who had a frequency of like I want to learn this from you.
• 50:03
  Jaymin Patel: I want to move how you move when you dance.
• 50:04
  Jaymin Patel: I want to sing how you sing.
• 50:05
  Jaymin Patel: I just did, you know, a weekend long vocal activation last weekend because I wanted to sing, you know, in a way that I saw this woman sing, you know.
• 50:10
  Jaymin Patel: So I still do it.
• 50:11
  Jaymin Patel: I still like, oh my god, I want what you have.
• 50:13
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, give me your magic.
• 50:14
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, and the more one-to-one I can get, the better, but I can customize it for me.
• 50:18
  Jaymin Patel: So the answer to your question is why?
• 50:24
  Jaymin Patel: Why would we want to find our voice?
• 50:25
  Jaymin Patel: Why would we want to create from that?
• 50:28
  Jaymin Patel: Why would we want to invest in a coach and go down a mentorship path and become really good at something and to really create a portfolio of work and have that be the main thing that we do.
• 50:37
  Jaymin Patel: And I think there's two reasons.
• 50:38
  Jaymin Patel: Number one you can stick to your nine to five.
• 50:41
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, that's all good.
• 50:43
  Jaymin Patel: Some people have different values, and security could be one of them, and if that's one of your values, then a nine to five will give you that.
• 50:49
  Matt Jacob: And actually I think there's too much beratement of people who you know don't mind being in a nine to five.
• 50:56
  Matt Jacob: There's too much of like.
• 50:58
  Matt Jacob: You know you don't have to do this.
• 50:59
  Matt Jacob: You can go and create something, but some people yeah they may want that yeah they find that it's that security like absolutely so.
• 51:06
  Jaymin Patel: So the first part, though, is for those people to consider that entrepreneurship right.
• 51:12
  Jaymin Patel: Following your creativity and trying to earn money from that, whatever that might be, whatever creative endeavor that is, is a spiritual journey.
• 51:20
  Jaymin Patel: So do you want to sign up in your life for a spiritual journey that's going to take you through some ups and downs only for the sole purpose of revealing yourself to you?
• 51:33
  Jaymin Patel: Do you want more of yourself revealed to you in this lifetime?
• 51:37
  Jaymin Patel: Do you want to be for me?
• 51:39
  Jaymin Patel: I want to know I'm living at my deepest, most authentic truth in every moment.
• 51:43
  Jaymin Patel: Well, I have truth and love tattooed on my arms right, so that's significantly important for me, and when I first got a taste of understanding during my corporate life, when I hired my first coach, the ways in which I wasn't, I became hooked, you know.
• 51:59
  Jaymin Patel: And so entrepreneurship of any kind, any creator who's out there and trying to take their creation and make money from it, that is a spiritual journey, huge.
• 52:10
  Jaymin Patel: It's such a complex, beautiful, incredible journey to go on.
• 52:16
  Matt Jacob: When you say spiritual journey, you mean something that's fulfilling and revealing of your deeper self.
• 52:25
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, exactly yeah.
• 52:26
  Jaymin Patel: It's revealing of your deeper self and you get to know who you are.
• 52:28
  Jaymin Patel: You need to live that, which is incredibly fulfilling, right?
• 52:31
  Jaymin Patel: So that's one answer to your question.
• 52:34
  Jaymin Patel: That's why you want to find your voice, that's why you want to invest in the mentorship, that's why you want to get support and create it as much as you can, right?
• 52:42
  Jaymin Patel: I think there are, you know, like three really great satisfactions, uh, in the world, um, and there's different versions of these, but for me, number one is to be in love with the mother of my children.
• 52:54
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, and you know, you don't have to be straight.
• 52:57
  Jaymin Patel: You can be in a gay relationship, you can what, it doesn't matter what or you can be, you know, whatever scenario, but to in this world, where it's a 50% you know divorce rate, it is a unique thing to be in love with the mother of your children.
• 53:11
  Jaymin Patel: Also, when I say be in love, I don't just mean like we live together and we're platonic.
• 53:15
  Jaymin Patel: It's like, no, literally in love, right After 10 years, like that takes work.
• 53:22
  Jaymin Patel: So I think that's that's number one.
• 53:23
  Jaymin Patel: Number two is to take a creative endeavor of yours and to go earn six or seven figures from it.
• 53:25
  Jaymin Patel: You know, like when I cross a million dollars for my speaking, I was like man.
• 53:30
  Jaymin Patel: I did that like how many people in the world are walking around saying they took one creative endeavor of theirs and earned seven figures from it?
• 53:37
  Matt Jacob: yeah, but very few people.
• 53:38
  Matt Jacob: What's?
• 53:38
  Jaymin Patel: the point.
• 53:38
  Jaymin Patel: No, because it just it shows your commitment, right.
• 53:41
  Jaymin Patel: It shows a commitment that you're putting into your relationship or into your creative endeavor to come back from that, right.
• 53:47
  Jaymin Patel: And the third one is your health, right?
• 53:49
  Jaymin Patel: I love this quote that you know a healthy person has a million desires.
• 53:54
  Jaymin Patel: An unhealthy person has what?
• 53:55
  Jaymin Patel: Say that quote again A healthy person has a million desires.
• 53:59
  Jaymin Patel: An unhealthy person has what To become healthy again, right.
• 54:03
  Jaymin Patel: And so I think, really, those three things, you've got to be committed to your relationships and the love and sexuality that you get to and intimacy that you get to experience on this planet.
• 54:12
  Jaymin Patel: You want to be committed to your health and make sure that you're optimizing that and not overworking, stressing yourself.
• 54:19
  Jaymin Patel: But then, number three, to commit to a creative endeavor to the point that you build it into something that brings you back this return, not because you know the money or whatever, but it's just.
• 54:28
  Jaymin Patel: It indicates the level of commitment that you've taken that to and the level of boldness that you've found in yourself through that spiritual journey to receive at that level.
• 54:39
  Jaymin Patel: Does that make sense?
• 54:40
  Jaymin Patel: Journey to receive at that level, does that make sense?
• 54:45
  Jaymin Patel: So you know 60,000, you know viewers on YouTube, like there's something in you that has shifted and changed in your journey, that's bold enough to receive that Right.
• 54:51
  Jaymin Patel: So it's not bragging rights in terms of like oh, all these people, it's like, no, like.
• 54:55
  Jaymin Patel: I'm actually receiving that.
• 54:56
  Jaymin Patel: My receivership is open enough in my own system to be seen in my creation in this way.
• 55:03
  Jaymin Patel: You know what I mean.
• 55:04
  Jaymin Patel: There's something so magical about that to experience that in your lifetime.
• 55:08
  Jaymin Patel: So this is why you want to find your voice.
• 55:10
  Jaymin Patel: The other thing that I would say is going back to what I was saying earlier is that if you don't find your voice, you're probably not contributing to the evolution of humanity in the way that you want.
• 55:18
  Jaymin Patel: So you're not truly in your mission and it's not as fulfilling right.
• 55:22
  Jaymin Patel: It's not that it's not fulfilling.
• 55:24
  Jaymin Patel: Life is fulfilling in so many ways but there's a layer of when you choose to find your voice and pursue something and create it into something bigger so that it can reach more people, that you realize you're doing the work of the universe by being in your fullest expression, which is creating permission and possibility for others, and that is so extremely fulfilling and gives you a sense of fulfillment outside of what the security of a nine to five or you know, all these other things may give you.
• 55:51
  Jaymin Patel: It's a different thing, right, and so go try out the different thing and just see if you like it.
• 55:56
  Matt Jacob: I think that's such an important point to understand that people see people, see other people making it success, right, and a lot of, a lot of people conflate success with financial value, right, but let's say, let's say that's true, and okay, you earn a million bucks from your speaking.
• 56:14
  Matt Jacob: You get over that milestone and then and that's why I said to you so what right?
• 56:17
  Matt Jacob: What does that mean that?
• 56:19
  Matt Jacob: What does that mean?
• 56:19
  Matt Jacob: You'll just go.
• 56:20
  Matt Jacob: Well, I, well, if the goal is money which I know isn't with you but if someone's goal is the money, the priority, I should say we all have goals with money.
• 56:28
  Matt Jacob: Of course the priority is money.
• 56:30
  Matt Jacob: Then you're just going to go.
• 56:31
  Matt Jacob: Well, where's the next million and what's the next thing?
• 56:34
  Matt Jacob: So you're kind of missing out.
• 56:36
  Matt Jacob: So someone from the outside would easily say well, you've earned a million, what did you do with it?
• 56:41
  Matt Jacob: Did you help others?
• 56:41
  Matt Jacob: Did you give anything back?
• 56:43
  Matt Jacob: Did you give anything to charity?
• 56:44
  Matt Jacob: Did you coach other, whatever?
• 56:49
  Matt Jacob: You know where's this cycle?
• 56:50
  Matt Jacob: But people don't forget about the contributions to society that you make just in that process.
• 56:53
  Matt Jacob: Right, it's so powerful, yeah, and you do it.
• 56:54
  Matt Jacob: If you do it in the way that you do it, with so much positivity, so much articulation, so much spirituality, so much love.
• 57:01
  Matt Jacob: Right, that is this ripple effect that even you take the goal let's say the goal is a million dollars you take that financial value out of it and just think about the process and everything you do day in and day out to get to that point, the thousands and millions of people that you are affecting directly or indirectly.
• 57:20
  Matt Jacob: And people don't understand that.
• 57:22
  Matt Jacob: And that's why voice is so important, because finding your voice is so powerful, not just to you but to so many other people.
• 57:30
  Matt Jacob: And that's really where, like, the true magic of life lies.
• 57:33
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah yeah.
• 57:34
  Jaymin Patel: Everything is just an indicator number of followers, number of money, like those are just indicators of how strongly your voice is being put out there.
• 57:41
  Jaymin Patel: And this is why when people kind of buy followers or use, like you know, really extreme marketing tactics to get people to purchase a passive product they're never going to use, and that's why those things never really last right, because there's you're not.
• 57:56
  Jaymin Patel: Actually it's not a function anymore of getting your voice out there to as many people as possible.
• 58:01
  Jaymin Patel: It's a function of taking something that your voice created and then now shifting it to followers or bank account numbers, which takes the focus away, and then the support from the universe kind of tanks and people go oh yeah, well, I'm not doing that anymore.
• 58:14
  Jaymin Patel: Why You're being so successful with it.
• 58:15
  Jaymin Patel: I just got burned out, I was too tired.
• 58:17
  Jaymin Patel: You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 58:18
  Jaymin Patel: The Facebook advertising game.
• 58:24
  Jaymin Patel: You know it's like hustle, hustle, hustle.
• 58:25
  Jaymin Patel: It's not.
• 58:25
  Jaymin Patel: It's not the thing.
• 58:26
  Jaymin Patel: The thing is the journey, right, and then this is all just what comes as an indication of how committed you are and how open you start becoming, how bold and confident you start becoming to really stand in your voice.
• 58:36
  Jaymin Patel: That's the journey.
• 58:38
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, I love that you talked about that, because this kind of goes into my next question and I want to double down on this authority, this, this, what a lot of people, what.
• 58:47
  Matt Jacob: What stops a lot of people from starting a journey or going on and pursuing the, the sorry, the, the journey of pursuit of finding a voice, is the fact that they don't think anyone will listen to them.
• 59:00
  Matt Jacob: For example, you talked about buying followers on whatever social media.
• 59:04
  Matt Jacob: Right?
• 59:04
  Matt Jacob: I'm not a proponent of that at all, but I understand that maybe having an account that has 10,000 followers to an account that has 100 immediately has an authority level to it which can be just utilized as a marketing tool, right?
• 59:22
  Jaymin Patel: 100%.
• 59:23
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, and I'm not saying don't do it.
• 59:24
  Jaymin Patel: I'm just saying you got to be careful when you're shifting the focus.
• 59:27
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, I think it's a fine strategy.
• 59:30
  Matt Jacob: But how do you coach people to get around the zero authority?
• 59:34
  Matt Jacob: You know, when we all start something, we have no authority.
• 59:38
  Matt Jacob: We may have a voice, but do we have an audience who would listen to that voice?
• 59:41
  Matt Jacob: You know.
• 59:42
  Matt Jacob: So how do you get about?
• 59:43
  Matt Jacob: You know, when you started writing books and speaking, you took that leap because of your boldness, because of who you were.
• 59:50
  Matt Jacob: But there must have been some rejection there.
• 59:52
  Matt Jacob: I was like, well, who are you Like?
• 59:53
  Matt Jacob: Why would I want you to speak?
• 59:55
  Matt Jacob: And like, would you have any authority in the space?
• 59:57
  Matt Jacob: Maybe that's not specific of your case, but I know it is of many people.
• 1:00:07
  Matt Jacob: Maybe that avatar I'm talking about, the nine to five work who likes to take photos at the weekend?
• 1:00:09
  Matt Jacob: Why would?
• 1:00:09
  Matt Jacob: Why?
• 1:00:09
  Matt Jacob: Why would I have no social proof?
• 1:00:10
  Matt Jacob: I have no authority, so why would anyone want to see what I have to put out there?
• 1:00:14
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, so this is a great question and I talk about this a lot because when I'm, when I'm coaching especially like coaches or speakers who are creating an offer to put out there to help people who am I to help people with their burnout or their weight loss or their mental you know, um, mindfulness, whatever and then, as a speaker, same thing like who am I to talk about this subject?
• 1:00:36
  Jaymin Patel: Who am I to get on stage and take the stage from somebody else?
• 1:00:39
  Jaymin Patel: Right, it's like this hilarious thought of like other people are way more deserving of the stage.
• 1:00:44
  Jaymin Patel: I shouldn't be on here.
• 1:00:45
  Jaymin Patel: Um, so the thing that I say is you, you, you got to look at it kind of like a, like a zero to 10.
• 1:00:53
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, so, when it comes to photography, I love taking great photos on my iPhone, but I do not know how to work a regular camera.
• 1:01:02
  Jaymin Patel: I do not know what it can create.
• 1:01:04
  Jaymin Patel: I don't know all the effects that can have.
• 1:01:06
  Jaymin Patel: I've dabbled here and there with friends and just using their camera.
• 1:01:09
  Jaymin Patel: I'm used to being on this side of the camera you know, with photo shoots or podcasts or things like that.
• 1:01:15
  Jaymin Patel: But so that person that you're referring to, right, so I would be like a one on the scale of being a photographer, I would be a one.
• 1:01:22
  Jaymin Patel: This person who's working a nine to five, has, like a, you know, invested into a nice camera.
• 1:01:27
  Jaymin Patel: They're taking photos on the weekend, they're dedicating their time to it, they're finding the shot, finding the light, doing some editing, all that sort of stuff.
• 1:01:34
  Jaymin Patel: They're at least at a five, they're at least halfway there.
• 1:01:37
  Jaymin Patel: Can I learn something from that person?
• 1:01:40
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, I don't even know how to focus a camera.
• 1:01:43
  Jaymin Patel: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:01:44
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, so I think the idea is that again, it's that zero to 60 thing that people think I need to be at the level of matt jacob to be able to, you know, contribute something photographically to the world.
• 1:01:57
  Jaymin Patel: No, bro, you know, like you're matt jacob now, but you were also matt jacob before, when you first started and you were at a three, you were at a four, you were at a seven, you were at, you know, you went to mongolia and became a nine and then kept going, became a ten, whatever that was for you in that journey.
• 1:02:13
  Jaymin Patel: That's really the idea is like someone who's at a five can help someone who's at a one, someone who's at an eight can help someone who's at a one, someone who's at an eight can help someone who's at a five.
• 1:02:21
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, right.
• 1:02:22
  Jaymin Patel: So if you focus on that, so and it's also not even specifically like helping, but just also creating permission so you know, when I see, if I, if I was around a bunch of friends and they were taking a camera out and photographing waterfalls here in Bali, for example, and I saw them do that, I'd be like oh, like yeah, I'd be interested to try that.
• 1:02:43
  Jaymin Patel: Like that's inspiring for me, that's like stirring something in me, like look at this amazing shot.
• 1:02:46
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, for me it'd probably be like hey, can you capture me on?
• 1:02:49
  Matt Jacob: that waterfall.
• 1:02:50
  Jaymin Patel: You know, can I, can I be in your photos?
• 1:02:51
  Jaymin Patel: Um, you know, so like it inspires that in me and it inspires me to be part of their art, for example.
• 1:02:57
  Jaymin Patel: So for that person who's at a nine to five they're at a five, you know, they're halfway through, they're taking some photos and they're just thinking it's like, do it for the four, three, two ones, do it for them.
• 1:03:08
  Jaymin Patel: Think about those people who had a four, three, two, one, you know, and maybe the four is like doing all the photos and they're just not posting them, but then you be the five who posts them and then they see yours.
• 1:03:19
  Jaymin Patel: It's like being at the gym, right, you see someone doing something.
• 1:03:21
  Jaymin Patel: You're like, oh, you can bench that, I'm going to bench that, right.
• 1:03:25
  Jaymin Patel: And so there's like this competitive layer where, even if you do it and it sucks, somebody else gets great permission from that, right.
• 1:03:32
  Jaymin Patel: But then there's also the other layer of like, wow, I see that person doing something and I'm inspired to go try that new move or whatever it might be.
• 1:03:39
  Jaymin Patel: So, whatever way it pans out, focus on, like, as a five.
• 1:03:44
  Jaymin Patel: If I'm at this level, whatever I do next, if I move towards the six, it's going to ripple effect down to all the four, three, two ones, and if you think about it that way, you're not trying to compete with the six, seven, eight, before you're even there.
• 1:03:57
  Jaymin Patel: Just you know, measure the other side.
• 1:04:00
  Jaymin Patel: That's really the trip to get through that yeah.
• 1:04:03
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, that's super cool.
• 1:04:04
  Matt Jacob: Tell me a little bit about the networking and where that might relate to finding one's voice or at least being a little bit more successful in business.
• 1:04:15
  Matt Jacob: Why is networking so important and why might it be important to the creative spaces?
• 1:04:19
  Jaymin Patel: Oh my God, networking is incredibly important.
• 1:04:21
  Matt Jacob: Incredibly, now we're in his wheelhouse.
• 1:04:22
  Jaymin Patel: Oh, my god, let's go.
• 1:04:23
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, let's go.
• 1:04:24
  Jaymin Patel: Bam guys.
• 1:04:25
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, like we know, networking is literally everything.
• 1:04:29
  Jaymin Patel: Right, the the reason we're even connected is because we networked through a brotherhood that we're both a part of.
• 1:04:35
  Jaymin Patel: Right, it's a, it's a.
• 1:04:36
  Jaymin Patel: If I just saw you on the street and approached you about, you'd be like be like whoa, what's going on?
• 1:04:39
  Jaymin Patel: So what I can break down is that every opportunity that you want is literally one relationship away.
• 1:04:48
  Jaymin Patel: Right, it is, it's like that one relationship.
• 1:04:51
  Jaymin Patel: I know that if I go somewhere and I meet someone, they can become a client, they could become a collaborator, they could become an investor.
• 1:05:00
  Jaymin Patel: I, you know, I could become an investor for that.
• 1:05:03
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, you know, like, so many things are possible.
• 1:05:04
  Jaymin Patel: So the way I look at meeting people is I look at it as like, who am I going to meet and what possibility is going to open up from that?
• 1:05:12
  Jaymin Patel: Right, so I get really hyped up on possibility and so when I'm networking, I'm like, okay, let me step into possibility, because it's very easy to go to.
• 1:05:22
  Jaymin Patel: Like, say, you created this thing that had creatives and philanthropists who wanted to invest in creatives.
• 1:05:28
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, and you create this event.
• 1:05:31
  Jaymin Patel: People will go to that event, hang out with their other creative friends.
• 1:05:35
  Jaymin Patel: Not really feel you know the guts to go talk to the other people, eat some of the hors d'oeuvres and then leave and they'll be like well, I went to the event but it didn't really do it.
• 1:05:45
  Matt Jacob: No one really wanted to talk to me yeah.
• 1:05:46
  Jaymin Patel: Right.
• 1:05:47
  Jaymin Patel: That's a very real experience.
• 1:05:49
  Jaymin Patel: Alternatively, if you learn how to network, you know especially network like a rock star, which is the way that I teach it.
• 1:05:55
  Jaymin Patel: You're going to go to an event.
• 1:05:57
  Jaymin Patel: You're going to know who to talk to, You're going to know how to start a conversation with them, You're going to know what to say to get what you want, and you're going to understand how to influence influential individuals so that they become a supporter of you, Whatever that might look like mentorship, investor, referral, connection, advice, whatever that might be.
• 1:06:13
  Jaymin Patel: And then you leave and you have these new people who are supporters in what you do right, who are supporters in what you do right.
• 1:06:19
  Jaymin Patel: And so, when it comes to networking, I define networking as creating personal relationships in professional settings to achieve your goals right, Whatever those goals might be.
• 1:06:31
  Jaymin Patel: And people say everything that I teach in networking can be applied to dating.
• 1:06:33
  Jaymin Patel: I don't go into that world, but it is.
• 1:06:36
  Jaymin Patel: It's all the same.
• 1:06:36
  Jaymin Patel: It's all creating connection right.
• 1:06:38
  Jaymin Patel: And at the heart of it, people move through these four stages of a relationship.
• 1:06:45
  Jaymin Patel: I call it the relationship hierarchy, so it's a tool that I created and they move through these four stages.
• 1:06:49
  Jaymin Patel: First, awareness Okay, so say I'm one of these people, you know investor philanthropists and I'm at an event with a bunch of creatives right.
• 1:06:59
  Matt Jacob: So by the way, we're going to make this event.
• 1:07:01
  Matt Jacob: I love that.
• 1:07:01
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, let's make it, let's do it.
• 1:07:02
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it, and so I'm one of those people.
• 1:07:07
  Jaymin Patel: And then I look and I see all these creatives coming in.
• 1:07:09
  Jaymin Patel: It's clear, you can tell who they are, right, I'm like that every single one of these artists who are walking in creatives.
• 1:07:26
  Jaymin Patel: They're talented, they have some kind of art that they're creating that I would probably enjoy and they're all worthwhile of me investing in them.
• 1:07:32
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, so that doesn't really do anything for any of us, because I'm just aware I couldn't go wrong investing in any one of them.
• 1:07:38
  Jaymin Patel: But I don't want to invest in any one of them.
• 1:07:39
  Jaymin Patel: I want to invest in the ones that I feel a deep connection with, right, I feel like I want to support them.
• 1:07:44
  Jaymin Patel: There's some connection to the art, but also to them as a person.
• 1:07:47
  Jaymin Patel: So what am I going to do?
• 1:07:49
  Jaymin Patel: Well, I'm going to begin to look for different actions and behaviors that indicate to me which one of these artists is kind of the one that you know I see as being like the rock star, right?
• 1:08:01
  Jaymin Patel: So there's a few ways that that works, and there are a few things that are universal and a few things that are personal, only to my preferences, right?
• 1:08:09
  Jaymin Patel: But, for example, if I saw someone who showed up and they were like, not, you know, not like dressed in rags, but they actually had this really cool style, right.
• 1:08:19
  Jaymin Patel: They weren't like I don't care, I'm just here.
• 1:08:22
  Jaymin Patel: You know, and if I can tell that from their clothing, right, that if I saw 20 people at once, I would be drawn to the one who dressed up.
• 1:08:31
  Jaymin Patel: They love personal expression, right.
• 1:08:32
  Jaymin Patel: So, just, maybe even it doesn't have to be like you know anything specific, but if it's like I'm like they're trying, you know, in a way, I automatically me personally like that person.
• 1:08:41
  Jaymin Patel: So, out of the whole group of 20, I'm going to see maybe four or five who are like, just, oh, my god, I want to go talk to them because I love their outfit, right.
• 1:08:48
  Jaymin Patel: So, before I even talk to them, the way they showed up to the event is is that because you know there's these creatives who are like, oh fuck, I'll go and they're just, they're just wearing whatever, they're not even in their creativity.
• 1:08:59
  Jaymin Patel: Maybe their creativity isn't their appearance, it's, you know, somewhere else.
• 1:09:02
  Jaymin Patel: You know, no harm, no foul.
• 1:09:03
  Jaymin Patel: But to me it's like, oh well, you're really not really trying here.
• 1:09:06
  Jaymin Patel: You know, you're not really vying for attention and maybe your art is very separate, but I'm drawn to these about the person yeah, so I consider out of the 20.
• 1:09:16
  Jaymin Patel: I can't meet all 20 people in one night and go deep with them, but I can do it with five, right.
• 1:09:20
  Jaymin Patel: So now I'm beginning to consider which ones, through their actions and their behaviors right Now, say, out of those five, three of them come up to me and shake my hand.
• 1:09:33
  Matt Jacob: Oh.
• 1:09:33
  Jaymin Patel: I love that, right, because I don't have to go chase them.
• 1:09:36
  Jaymin Patel: They understand an opportunity when it's arising.
• 1:09:38
  Jaymin Patel: So if I now invite them to meet my other investor friends, I can trust that they're going to be able to shake their hand and have a conversation.
• 1:09:46
  Jaymin Patel: I automatically feel more trust with this person.
• 1:09:48
  Jaymin Patel: This is just one example, right, so there's a variety of characteristics that would stand out to different people.
• 1:09:53
  Jaymin Patel: I'm just giving one type of example.
• 1:09:56
  Jaymin Patel: So then what happens?
• 1:09:58
  Jaymin Patel: Next?
• 1:09:59
  Jaymin Patel: We'll be moving to the third stage of the relationship hierarchy, which is acknowledgement, and at this point I'm learning about their story.
• 1:10:06
  Jaymin Patel: You know what they've done, where they're going, you know what their art is about, right, like, I want to learn all these things.
• 1:10:14
  Jaymin Patel: And so you can't go to a networking event and not let people know who you are.
• 1:10:17
  Jaymin Patel: It's not, you know, it's not a spectator sport.
• 1:10:19
  Jaymin Patel: You've got to, you got to get in there.
• 1:10:21
  Jaymin Patel: So so that third piece is really understanding.
• 1:10:24
  Jaymin Patel: How do you articulate your story?
• 1:10:25
  Jaymin Patel: This is something I help people with, right, the same way, with your speech articulating that essence into possibility.
• 1:10:30
  Jaymin Patel: You know I do this with people pitching their, their companies to VCs.
• 1:10:34
  Jaymin Patel: People trying to get on stage.
• 1:10:35
  Jaymin Patel: People trying to create a coaching offer, people trying to create their networking story for when they go to an event and talk about their art.
• 1:10:40
  Jaymin Patel: Right, they're all the same sort of thing.
• 1:10:42
  Jaymin Patel: It's like how do you start conveying what you do in a really cool way?
• 1:10:47
  Matt Jacob: Elevator pitch.
• 1:10:47
  Jaymin Patel: It's like an elevator pitch yeah, but it's also the full story.
• 1:10:50
  Jaymin Patel: Right that you would kind?
• 1:10:51
  Matt Jacob: of-.
• 1:10:52
  Jaymin Patel: It's not salesy.
• 1:10:53
  Jaymin Patel: It's not salesy but it important.
• 1:10:56
  Jaymin Patel: And you know, where have you been?
• 1:10:58
  Jaymin Patel: What have you already done?
• 1:10:59
  Jaymin Patel: Where are you going next?
• 1:11:00
  Jaymin Patel: You know I need all this information.
• 1:11:01
  Jaymin Patel: If I talk to some and they give me all this great background information and I don't know where they're going next, how can I open up the Rolodex in my mind of opportunities?
• 1:11:10
  Jaymin Patel: I can connect them to people, I can connect them to resources.
• 1:11:14
  Jaymin Patel: I can share advice I can give, because I have no idea where they're moving to, right?
• 1:11:18
  Jaymin Patel: So, as an artist or a creative like, it's really important that you understand how to pitch yourself right To talk about your art, why it's important, what you've done with it and where you want it to go next.
• 1:11:30
  Jaymin Patel: Right, like what, what is the next step for you?
• 1:11:31
  Jaymin Patel: Because when those, all those things are there now I can really help you go where you're going.
• 1:11:35
  Jaymin Patel: But this is where most people stop right.
• 1:11:38
  Jaymin Patel: We go to a networking event.
• 1:11:39
  Jaymin Patel: We learn about each other, we exchange business cards or connect on whatever and follow each other on Instagram, whatever it might be.
• 1:11:44
  Jaymin Patel: There's another step and that is a step of support, and the support step is really important because this is where you know I would say, like when you're at the level of support, that person is pounding the table.
• 1:11:57
  Jaymin Patel: For you know, and what I mean is if there's a decision to be made, if there's a wallet to be opened, if there is a show to be uh, you know curated, they're going to pound the table for your name to be a part of that that's when you have a supporter, right.
• 1:12:15
  Jaymin Patel: But support will happen in a one-to-one setting after that event is done, right, where we're connecting in full, undivided attention and, at the end of the day, this final step.
• 1:12:24
  Jaymin Patel: What I teach is you want to get that person to begin to see a piece of themselves in you, and when they see a piece of themselves in you, they're going to want to help that piece be successful, which means they're going to help you be successful, right?
• 1:12:38
  Jaymin Patel: So I need to feel this affinity with you of like, oh yeah, like who you are right now is like my 13 year old creative artist that then took a left turn and went somewhere else.
• 1:12:49
  Jaymin Patel: But I see that in you and I want that piece to live out.
• 1:12:52
  Jaymin Patel: So, like, let's go.
• 1:12:54
  Jaymin Patel: Like, what do you need next?
• 1:12:55
  Jaymin Patel: Like I'm, I'm right.
• 1:12:58
  Jaymin Patel: So this is kind of the very quick summary of the, the process of networking like a rockstar, which is you move someone through these four stages from awareness to consideration to acknowledgement notice, consideration comes before acknowledgement, right, and then into support.
• 1:13:13
  Jaymin Patel: And when you can move someone through these four stages, then then you can get whatever you want.
• 1:13:19
  Jaymin Patel: That's how a 23-year-old business school student who had barely any years of experience and is perceived as being too young and too green and too inexperienced to handle any post-ambulance position, then convinced every single recruiter I was interacting with to make me an offer to come work for them.
• 1:13:34
  Jaymin Patel: And I got an offer from every company I was targeting because they created that piece where they saw themselves in me and wanted me to be successful despite my age and experience.
• 1:13:43
  Jaymin Patel: Right, it's like when I started my management consulting job, one of my best friends started in the same role, same company.
• 1:13:49
  Jaymin Patel: He's 10 years older than me.
• 1:13:50
  Jaymin Patel: That's the experience level they were hiring for, right, so he was 33, 34 and I was 24 how much criticism did you come, or how, how much ostracization did you come in for?
• 1:14:05
  Matt Jacob: you know, going into that job Were you.
• 1:14:08
  Jaymin Patel: Well, I mean, it was a journey getting in right.
• 1:14:10
  Jaymin Patel: So I could talk at length about my interview process and all of that.
• 1:14:13
  Jaymin Patel: But once I got in, people trusted me.
• 1:14:16
  Jaymin Patel: But they did expect me to do a lot.
• 1:14:18
  Jaymin Patel: They did.
• 1:14:19
  Jaymin Patel: They definitely didn't go easy on me.
• 1:14:20
  Jaymin Patel: It was almost like, hey, you're younger, we've brought you in, we're taking a risk on you.
• 1:14:24
  Jaymin Patel: You better show up and here's what you need to do.
• 1:14:26
  Jaymin Patel: But you know, I had mentors.
• 1:14:27
  Jaymin Patel: I had again, if I, if I was thinking, oh my God right, that ability to do it as it comes.
• 1:14:31
  Jaymin Patel: That's a huge part of the journey and being bold.
• 1:14:47
  Matt Jacob: And you know we've talked about this before, but, um, you know, I we've, we take all these different paths and some people are.
• 1:14:50
  Matt Jacob: You know, I became this, yes, man from a, from a young age, just through.
• 1:14:53
  Matt Jacob: You know, various things that happened in my life and I I always understood the power of regret.
• 1:15:00
  Matt Jacob: I always understood, like I never want to regret.
• 1:15:03
  Matt Jacob: Yes, I'm going to do things wrong, but I know that I made a decision, based on factors, to go and do that thing and I know I'll learn from it.
• 1:15:11
  Matt Jacob: Right, so what?
• 1:15:13
  Matt Jacob: Where do you?
• 1:15:14
  Matt Jacob: Because I see so much?
• 1:15:16
  Matt Jacob: Um, you know, don't ever like talking down to people, because I I want to relate to people and understand their cost of enact, or make them understand the cost of inaction when they've got either potential or they've just got a chance to just give it a go.
• 1:15:29
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, but what?
• 1:15:30
  Matt Jacob: Why do you think that is so prevalent in the world, especially with things like health, with things like business, with things like creativity, with anything in in life, with relationships, with parenting, with anything right?
• 1:15:44
  Matt Jacob: What is this fear that people have, do you think?
• 1:15:48
  Matt Jacob: I know it's a really big generalization, but I'd love to tap into why people don't see that cost of inaction, the same way that maybe we do, and therefore, how can we help them?
• 1:15:57
  Matt Jacob: Is it a fear of being misunderstood or is it a fear of failure?
• 1:15:59
  Matt Jacob: We help them.
• 1:16:00
  Matt Jacob: Is it a fear of being misunderstood or is it a fear of failure, right or is it a bit of both?
• 1:16:04
  Jaymin Patel: yeah, I mean, I think it's a fear of a lot of things, right.
• 1:16:06
  Jaymin Patel: So it's a fear of rejection, for sure, right?
• 1:16:09
  Jaymin Patel: Um, because we're not used to knowing what to do with rejection, right?
• 1:16:15
  Jaymin Patel: So a lot of it is, like you know, emotions are actually guiding the biggest, you know, kind of aspects of our life, right?
• 1:16:23
  Jaymin Patel: Either the avoidance of feeling something too intense, like shame or fear, or sadness or anger predominantly those are the main four.
• 1:16:34
  Jaymin Patel: So you'd be surprised if I could show you a mirror.
• 1:16:38
  Jaymin Patel: In the mirror you can see all the ways in which the avoidance of those emotions is shaping the decisions of your life, okay, and even me, I mean everybody.
• 1:16:46
  Jaymin Patel: But the thing for me is, over time, I've now realized how to be with those emotions, right, how to process them when they come up and to move through them instead of resisting them.
• 1:16:59
  Jaymin Patel: So this is one of the teachings from Fully Lived is that, you know, imagine life is, you know, like going to be these ups and downs.
• 1:17:03
  Jaymin Patel: If it wasn't, if it was all happy all the time, we'd be bored.
• 1:17:07
  Jaymin Patel: So we need some dynamism in life.
• 1:17:10
  Jaymin Patel: So imagine we have all the kind of these, you know, I would say easy emotions, but positive emotions, like you know joy, orgasm, you know creative expression, you know all this beautiful stuff.
• 1:17:22
  Jaymin Patel: And then down here we have kind of the heavier emotions of like fear, shame, sadness, anger.
• 1:17:28
  Jaymin Patel: So knowing that life will continually do this, no matter what we do, we will never be just here, it will always.
• 1:17:36
  Jaymin Patel: Every little thing right Will come up, like this External business factors, your partnership, you know health stuff Like it's inevitable.
• 1:17:46
  Jaymin Patel: This is the way life is.
• 1:17:47
  Jaymin Patel: So imagine if it's like this rollercoaster.
• 1:17:50
  Jaymin Patel: Imagine if you're on a rollercoaster ride and as it came to the top, as it was about to go down, it put the brakes on and it just slowly was making its way down.
• 1:18:00
  Jaymin Patel: What would happen?
• 1:18:01
  Jaymin Patel: It would stay forever in that heaviness, right, and they would have a lot of difficulty getting momentum to come back out of it.
• 1:18:08
  Jaymin Patel: So what I teach is that when you're up here and you notice oh wow, business stuff is going off, partnership stuff is going off, health is going off, partnership stuff is going off, health is going off, you let go and you dive into the shame and the sadness and the fear and the anger and what it does.
• 1:18:25
  Jaymin Patel: It helps you move through that more quickly and gain momentum so you can come back up.
• 1:18:29
  Jaymin Patel: And here's the other thing, matt, is that the deeper you can go, the more higher you experience joy, orgasm, expression, et cetera and so what you're doing is actually expanding the range of what you can experience by going into it more.
• 1:18:41
  Jaymin Patel: But none of us very few of us on this planet are equipped with how to handle those emotions right.
• 1:18:47
  Jaymin Patel: So it's a huge part of creating this kind of resilience or receivership is that, like you know, in my fully lived method that I talked about earlier, one whole component is emotional mastery Just different ways of understanding your emotions, the stories you hold about your emotions, the way you block yourself from your emotions, what to do when your emotions come up, how to release charge with your emotions, how to feel them in a safe way, and then how to be with them to allow them to understand the nature of them right.
• 1:19:18
  Jaymin Patel: When you can do that, then you're no longer afraid of going right, and so when the next challenge comes, it's like, okay, great, I can do that.
• 1:19:25
  Jaymin Patel: That's what resilience is, and so for many people, we've never taught resilience.
• 1:19:30
  Jaymin Patel: And if you think about it, this happens at a playground, right?
• 1:19:34
  Jaymin Patel: I see this like yeah, so when a kid falls down, you know, there's a few different ways that we respond.
• 1:19:39
  Jaymin Patel: Number one you're okay, you're okay, right, I'm here.
• 1:19:42
  Jaymin Patel: We're not really okay, right, um, and so that's not really a great response that we're.
• 1:19:48
  Jaymin Patel: We're taught so when we're young we're having these big emotions.
• 1:19:51
  Jaymin Patel: Everyone around was like no, no, act like you're okay, act like you're okay and it's like okay.
• 1:19:55
  Jaymin Patel: So I'm not supposed to feel this.
• 1:19:56
  Jaymin Patel: So imagine that every single day of our lives, the number of times that we fall or cry or want milk as a kid is embedded in us deeply to not feel right.
• 1:20:04
  Jaymin Patel: The second thing is distraction.
• 1:20:07
  Jaymin Patel: Oh my gosh, look at this dragon, look at this balloon.
• 1:20:09
  Jaymin Patel: Look at this, you know.
• 1:20:10
  Jaymin Patel: So it's like, yeah, don't do that, I'm going to put my anxious energy on you so that you don't feel your emotion, because we need to do this other thing right now.
• 1:20:18
  Jaymin Patel: So then we're like super anxious around feeling our emotions, okay.
• 1:20:22
  Jaymin Patel: So growing up over and over again, we're looking at the dragon, we're getting a piece of candy, we're doing all this sort of stuff to not feel our emotions, okay.
• 1:20:30
  Jaymin Patel: And then the third thing is kind of this thing of like you know, kid falls, you know, off of a swing bad swing, bad swing.
• 1:20:37
  Jaymin Patel: You know, I've seen parents who do this.
• 1:20:38
  Jaymin Patel: I'm just like what you know.
• 1:20:41
  Jaymin Patel: And so now there's like this victim mentality of like, oh, wow, like you know, this thing is bad and all of this.
• 1:20:47
  Jaymin Patel: So you can imagine growing up with this all the time, every day, and then it being echo, chambered in by all families everywhere, that we all have this silent agreement to sing on this one note of we should avoid being in our emotions, right.
• 1:21:02
  Jaymin Patel: And so what I do with my kids is this practice that's called emotion coaching, and I didn't learn it until I had kids.
• 1:21:07
  Jaymin Patel: And when I learned this I was like, wow, why doesn't every parent know this.
• 1:21:10
  Jaymin Patel: And so now, like when my kid falls down and is crying, the first thing I do I say hey, you fell down.
• 1:21:19
  Jaymin Patel: Right, I state what occurred, right.
• 1:21:22
  Jaymin Patel: When they're really young, I say you're probably feeling, I'll guess their emotions.
• 1:21:27
  Jaymin Patel: And now that they're older, I'll say what emotions are you feeling?
• 1:21:30
  Jaymin Patel: I'll have them say it right.
• 1:21:31
  Jaymin Patel: So, like, hey, you fell down, you're feeling pain, you're feeling sadness, right, you're feeling surprise.
• 1:21:37
  Jaymin Patel: And they'll be like you know, and say, when I fall down, I feel that way too.
• 1:21:43
  Jaymin Patel: Letting them know it's okay that they're having those feelings, that those are natural and normal feelings to have.
• 1:21:47
  Jaymin Patel: You see how this is completely unreprogramming everything.
• 1:21:50
  Jaymin Patel: This is why I say, if you have a coach who's a parent, a conscious parent, who knows these things, they're going to be able to articulate this to you as an adult, to your inner child, because otherwise they won't know, they're just going to exacerbate more of what's there.
• 1:22:03
  Matt Jacob: There are a lot of parents that we know that have their own issues, that don't know what to do, right, yeah, and just exacerbate all of these issues Exactly, and look at the kids and just go and they don't mean to they.
• 1:22:16
  Jaymin Patel: Just they don't even know they don't know I I wish there was like a parenting license that I know you can get, because I learned about emotion, coaching, positive discipline, you know, and larian psychology.
• 1:22:26
  Jaymin Patel: It blew my mind and I parent so differently than how I was parented, which is a big challenge because I initially will want to do the thing that I, my parents, would have done.
• 1:22:35
  Jaymin Patel: I have to pause that train and then jump onto a new train of doing the thing.
• 1:22:39
  Jaymin Patel: That's more conscious, right?
• 1:22:40
  Jaymin Patel: So?
• 1:22:41
  Jaymin Patel: So imagine, every person who's watching this or listening has decades of this embedded.
• 1:22:49
  Jaymin Patel: You know, kind of programming that you shouldn't feel your big emotions.
• 1:22:53
  Jaymin Patel: So guess what happens when they think about being seen and maybe rejected the big emotions they don't want to feel that.
• 1:22:59
  Jaymin Patel: So then they don't take the action step.
• 1:23:01
  Jaymin Patel: That's what's going on, yeah, so when you can actually get comfortable with your emotions and realize that it's actually not a big bad monster and that the more that you look at them, the smaller, they shrink away and people go.
• 1:23:12
  Jaymin Patel: Oh, my God, that's what happens.
• 1:23:14
  Jaymin Patel: They go yeah, that's what happens and I'll prove it to you in like 10 minutes and they go my God, that was incredible.
• 1:23:19
  Jaymin Patel: And I go.
• 1:23:19
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, people come to me with anxiety, like, like, like stomach churning, like they're getting like gastro problems from their anxiety and in one call, yeah, and I, I, I give them one call, I take them through my emotional meditation practice and then at the end of it they're like, oh my God like, and they're changed.
• 1:23:36
  Jaymin Patel: You know what I mean.
• 1:23:37
  Jaymin Patel: And of course it's practice.
• 1:23:39
  Jaymin Patel: You have to do it over and over again, but they'd never realized.
• 1:23:43
  Jaymin Patel: I've had somebody who was depressed on medications stop taking their medication because they finally made friends with their sadness.
• 1:23:49
  Jaymin Patel: You know what I mean.
• 1:23:50
  Jaymin Patel: So this is what's available, but nobody talks about it.
• 1:23:53
  Jaymin Patel: Very few people are talking about it.
• 1:23:56
  Jaymin Patel: So this is one of the key pieces.
• 1:23:58
  Jaymin Patel: You know.
• 1:23:59
  Jaymin Patel: I think there's four key pieces.
• 1:24:00
  Jaymin Patel: This is one of the four key pieces.
• 1:24:01
  Jaymin Patel: Is that emotional mastery, to be okay with your emotions, because you have fear of being too much, fear of not being enough, fear of being rejected, fear of putting yourself out there.
• 1:24:12
  Jaymin Patel: All of that is actually the avoidance of that fear that's directing you.
• 1:24:16
  Jaymin Patel: If that fear no longer was something you needed to avoid, of that fear that's directing you, if that fear no longer was something you needed to avoid, you actually feel more capable to go do that, more bold, courageous to go.
• 1:24:26
  Matt Jacob: Do that.
• 1:24:27
  Matt Jacob: I think just to kind of touch on very similar stuff that I talk about all the time, just being mindful.
• 1:24:32
  Matt Jacob: And people don't quite understand what mindfulness means these days because it's used ubiquitously.
• 1:24:36
  Matt Jacob: But in that sense it it's being mindful, being aware of your own emotions, right.
• 1:24:41
  Matt Jacob: A lot of people just aren't aware that they're getting angry and having an outburst, right, or they're not aware that they're just sad that day.
• 1:24:47
  Matt Jacob: They're alone, they and they take it out on all of these different things, usually their family and close people.
• 1:24:52
  Matt Jacob: But, um, being that, that first step of awareness is the secret to mindfulness and just being mindful of those emotions goes such a long way.
• 1:25:01
  Matt Jacob: Being mindful of that fear Knowing what's there.
• 1:25:03
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, and knowing the point.
• 1:25:04
  Jaymin Patel: Acknowledging it.
• 1:25:05
  Jaymin Patel: Acknowledging it, it's huge, yeah, huge step.
• 1:25:08
  Matt Jacob: But people think, oh, of course I know it's there, but if you just acknowledge it and really be like, hey, this is what's here, Tell someone not just acknowledge it for yourself, yeah, Vocalize it or write it down, or and understand that a lot of this can manifest in physical, like gut issues or heart palpitations or stress in the net, wherever it might be, that it always somewhere just sitting with yourself is ah, it's such a powerful medium, but so okay.
• 1:25:35
  Jaymin Patel: So you want to touch on the other three.
• 1:25:36
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, I can touch on the other three.
• 1:25:38
  Jaymin Patel: So, um, so one one is emotional mastery.
• 1:25:42
  Jaymin Patel: That comes a little bit later in the process.
• 1:25:45
  Jaymin Patel: Um, before we get there, the first thing is to really understand that, like you know, I would, I would say you need to shift your relationship to the universe and time.
• 1:25:54
  Jaymin Patel: So there's this notion that, yeah, time is kind of this linear thing.
• 1:26:01
  Jaymin Patel: We only have so much of it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and that you know, things are happening to me and all this.
• 1:26:07
  Jaymin Patel: But there's an evolution of thinking there in terms of stepping into, like, understanding.
• 1:26:12
  Jaymin Patel: You are actually creating a lot of this which is overwhelming for some people, you know.
• 1:26:16
  Jaymin Patel: But it's what was proven now through, you know, quantum physics, is that we know this to be a fact, not just manifestation, blah, blah, blah, but on a pragmatic level.
• 1:26:24
  Jaymin Patel: You know you have for I'll say this one thing about it to kind of highlight it, because the deep teaching, but imagine that you had access to, like, if I asked you today what percentage of your experience today is based on who you've been in your life versus who you're about to be in the next 10 years, what would you say?
• 1:26:49
  Jaymin Patel: 50, 50 would you okay, that's great.
• 1:26:51
  Jaymin Patel: I think most people would say 90, 10 right.
• 1:26:53
  Matt Jacob: They'd say yeah, I'd say a few years ago no, yeah, yeah yeah, well, I mean, you've been doing the work right.
• 1:26:57
  Jaymin Patel: So so it's like I think for most people maybe listening or watching, they would say 90, 10, like everything I am all I know is who I've been.
• 1:27:04
  Jaymin Patel: I don't know who I'm about to be, but I know, I kind of want, I like I have a goals list or I have a vision board, you know.
• 1:27:10
  Matt Jacob: So 90 10 but I spent 40 years of my life as this identity that I didn't felt I belonged in right.
• 1:27:17
  Matt Jacob: So it quite not easy, but it was to make this such a drastic shift.
• 1:27:21
  Matt Jacob: So now I feel a little bit more authentic.
• 1:27:23
  Jaymin Patel: Right.
• 1:27:23
  Jaymin Patel: So imagine that both of these are equally accessible to you.
• 1:27:26
  Jaymin Patel: But we move through life being like, well, this is who I've always been, so that's who I am, versus here's who I want to be or know I'm going to be one day, but but that's also who I am.
• 1:27:40
  Jaymin Patel: I'm both of these things equally.
• 1:27:41
  Jaymin Patel: And so most people are moving through life 90-10.
• 1:27:42
  Jaymin Patel: Imagine that was 50-50.
• 1:27:44
  Jaymin Patel: Imagine it was 10-90, right.
• 1:27:47
  Jaymin Patel: And this is where you get someone like a Lady Gaga or a Cindy Crawford people who've been Oprah.
• 1:27:53
  Jaymin Patel: You know they've been rejected over and over again, but they're not looking at the past rejections.
• 1:27:57
  Jaymin Patel: That's 10% of who they are today.
• 1:27:58
  Jaymin Patel: They're full of the 90% of who they're about to be and they're convinced that that's who they're going to be.
• 1:28:04
  Jaymin Patel: And so they move through rejection over and over again to become these huge personalities and voices in the world, right.
• 1:28:12
  Jaymin Patel: And so every time you hear a story of someone who's made it big, they've gone through that whole thing, but that's probably because most of their way of viewing themselves is this 90% of who I am today, right now, is that I am this future artist and you just don't see it.
• 1:28:24
  Jaymin Patel: So if you're saying no to me right now, that's on you, right?
• 1:28:29
  Jaymin Patel: You're going to regret this in the future.
• 1:28:30
  Jaymin Patel: That level of creatorship of like no, I'm actually.
• 1:28:35
  Jaymin Patel: My life is defined by who I'm about to be, not who I've been.
• 1:28:38
  Jaymin Patel: Not my rejection yesterday.
• 1:28:39
  Jaymin Patel: So that's the first module of the process is really going to depth around.
• 1:28:48
  Matt Jacob: How do you create that for yourself?
• 1:28:49
  Matt Jacob: Something you taught me, actually, when we did the summit, was even just the tiny little conversations you have when you meet a stranger.
• 1:28:55
  Matt Jacob: You know, we're built to kind of ask what's your name?
• 1:29:00
  Matt Jacob: And then what's the next question, what do you do?
• 1:29:02
  Matt Jacob: And so people are suddenly like, oh, and that's when they revert back to, even though they're in the process of doing something new and exciting, and they have this vision that 10 or 90, whichever way it is of who they want to be and who they're becoming, they will still revert to.
• 1:29:19
  Matt Jacob: Well, I'm, I'm, I'm a teacher, I work in corporates yeah you know it's is and then, and then you can see their body language going or they avoid the question.
• 1:29:28
  Matt Jacob: Oh, I'm just kind of like, rather than this is something you really hammered home with us was be that speaker and I'm I'm a speaker or I'm a photographer, I'm a podcast or whatever it might be.
• 1:29:39
  Jaymin Patel: Exactly only, rather than just like speaker, or I'm a photographer, I'm a podcaster, whatever it might be Exactly, own the identity Rather than just like oh, I'm doing a little bit of that.
• 1:29:43
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, you know it's different.
• 1:29:45
  Jaymin Patel: Own the identity, yeah.
• 1:29:46
  Matt Jacob: Right, because it goes in here as well.
• 1:29:47
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, not just to the people out there.
• 1:29:49
  Matt Jacob: It's a lot of this subconscious work.
• 1:30:00
  Jaymin Patel: Exactly, Exactly.
• 1:30:00
  Jaymin Patel: So that's the first I would teach to have anyone become more resilient and increase their receivership, to really go for what they want and receive it.
• 1:30:04
  Jaymin Patel: Number one is that kind of identity shifting work, of shifting how you relate to time and universe and what's available to you and who you are.
• 1:30:10
  Jaymin Patel: The second part of that is then coming into the power of the present.
• 1:30:15
  Jaymin Patel: So what happens in that moment is that all these things that we're holding on as tendrils kind of fall away and you just have way more time in your life because you're not worried about these old stories and future projections.
• 1:30:26
  Jaymin Patel: You kind of come into the present and when you're there in order to make the most of it.
• 1:30:31
  Jaymin Patel: It takes actually some skills to be with that much nowness.
• 1:30:35
  Matt Jacob: Does that make sense?
• 1:30:35
  Matt Jacob: It really does.
• 1:30:36
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah.
• 1:30:36
  Jaymin Patel: So if you're tracking this, it's like the next step becomes.
• 1:30:39
  Jaymin Patel: All of a sudden you realize you're creating this and your identity can be whatever you want.
• 1:30:45
  Jaymin Patel: In a way, you have all this nowness to deal with.
• 1:30:48
  Jaymin Patel: So the second step is really to be with all that nowness, understanding your boundaries.
• 1:30:52
  Jaymin Patel: You're activating your sovereignty, shifting the way you communicate, clearing up other stuff that's just been lingering around.
• 1:30:58
  Jaymin Patel: You know, this is the moment where people will, like have some sort of clearing conversation with their mother or their sister or their brother or their ex or whatever, and just let all these things that have been carried drop and focus on the things that are really about what's them right?
• 1:31:16
  Jaymin Patel: So that's the second step.
• 1:31:17
  Jaymin Patel: Is this being with the nowness is how I would, you know, kind of refer to it.
• 1:31:21
  Jaymin Patel: So you create, you shift who you are.
• 1:31:24
  Jaymin Patel: Then you're being with all this nowness.
• 1:31:26
  Jaymin Patel: You change the way you communicate, what you're available for or not, how you move through the world, your sovereignty and the way that you communicate, and all of a sudden, all these things just start happening, right?
• 1:31:37
  Jaymin Patel: This is a point where people begin to feel like miracles are occurring every day, because they're just like, and then I just did this and I went there and then this happened.
• 1:31:42
  Jaymin Patel: I'm like that's what happens.
• 1:31:44
  Jaymin Patel: You know, that's how it actually is, but we've forgotten that or we were never taught that.
• 1:31:49
  Jaymin Patel: Then the third stage is when you're with that level of nowness and things happening and miracles occurring, huge emotions pop up.
• 1:31:56
  Jaymin Patel: Occurring huge emotions pop up.
• 1:31:57
  Jaymin Patel: Oh my God, this is not right.
• 1:31:58
  Jaymin Patel: This is not okay.
• 1:31:59
  Jaymin Patel: I shouldn't, it shouldn't be this easy for me.
• 1:32:04
  Jaymin Patel: This is all.
• 1:32:04
  Jaymin Patel: It's all going to fall apart.
• 1:32:04
  Jaymin Patel: I'm going to be so hurting.
• 1:32:05
  Jaymin Patel: So then we go into the emotional mastery.
• 1:32:06
  Jaymin Patel: Because it's the sequence of how the process works is that at that point you need to be really capable to be with the huge.
• 1:32:13
  Jaymin Patel: You're just, it's like you're at the, you know, like riding a race car at full speed or at the front car of a roller coaster.
• 1:32:19
  Jaymin Patel: You're like, oh my God.
• 1:32:20
  Jaymin Patel: And I'm saying put your hands up, it's okay, you know.
• 1:32:21
  Jaymin Patel: You're like no, I can't, you know.
• 1:32:23
  Jaymin Patel: So that's the emotional piece.
• 1:32:25
  Jaymin Patel: That's where the emotions come in.
• 1:32:28
  Jaymin Patel: Once you have all three of those in place, then, and only then in my process do I recommend going into shadow work and inner child stuff.
• 1:32:35
  Jaymin Patel: People today just go right into a workshop for shadow work and inner child stuff, and then they just stay there.
• 1:32:40
  Jaymin Patel: You just keep doing it and like, oh my God, this is so amazing.
• 1:32:42
  Jaymin Patel: I just keep you know.
• 1:32:43
  Jaymin Patel: It's like you know you.
• 1:32:44
  Jaymin Patel: Just you're an incapable adult, you're still operating as a child and you're going to a younger child version of you and then trying to get some goal.
• 1:32:52
  Jaymin Patel: It's like no, like this.
• 1:32:54
  Jaymin Patel: In my opinion, it's dishonoring.
• 1:32:56
  Jaymin Patel: So if you're doing shadow work and you're doing inner child work, you actually need to understand how powerful you are, be available to be with that power, be able to navigate all the huge emotions that have been blocking you.
• 1:33:08
  Jaymin Patel: And once you are that fully functionally and capable adult, you then go into the inner child work right, and so that's where you do the shadow work and the inner child stuff and the reparenting and all of those journeys in my process.
• 1:33:20
  Jaymin Patel: Then, once you've done that, it's like you're there right Now.
• 1:33:25
  Jaymin Patel: Those inner parts that have been holding on to you begin to say, oh, you're different.
• 1:33:30
  Jaymin Patel: Now I see how you're operating, I can let go, break down the fear, I can let go.
• 1:33:36
  Jaymin Patel: All those old stories, all those old beliefs, all those old emotions, all those old you know bullying, abuse, everything that we've experienced, rejection, those things that tightened up in us now begin to open up and release, and then we get our authentic self back and from that authentic self we're unstoppable and our voice.
• 1:33:55
  Matt Jacob: And our voice, and our voice.
• 1:33:56
  Matt Jacob: So what is without?
• 1:33:58
  Matt Jacob: Obviously, we're going to encourage people to come and contact you and, essentially, you know, investigate, being coached by you.
• 1:34:05
  Matt Jacob: But what can people do tomorrow?
• 1:34:08
  Matt Jacob: What can people do today?
• 1:34:09
  Matt Jacob: They wake up.
• 1:34:10
  Matt Jacob: How can they start that journey of finding their voice, finding their authentic self, breaking down those fear barriers?
• 1:34:16
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah.
• 1:34:16
  Jaymin Patel: So it's a very simple question that I would just start anybody with.
• 1:34:23
  Jaymin Patel: Okay, um, number one thing I'll do is you know, my kind of like freebie that I usually give is five life hacks to overcome overwhelm.
• 1:34:30
  Jaymin Patel: Most people are just so overwhelmed in their life that they can actually do anything that we've talked about.
• 1:34:34
  Jaymin Patel: They're going to take this and put onto a shelf.
• 1:34:36
  Jaymin Patel: So if that's you which is probably you know everyone, we admit it, that's who we all are I have these amazing just it's like a 12, 14 minute video five life hacks to overcome overwhelm.
• 1:34:47
  Jaymin Patel: So I would start there.
• 1:34:48
  Jaymin Patel: I would just say, like, go watch those five things.
• 1:34:50
  Jaymin Patel: You can do them like this.
• 1:34:52
  Jaymin Patel: There's things that you can clear up really quickly in your life to get out of a state of overwhelm where you can actually make decisions right.
• 1:34:59
  Jaymin Patel: Most people will never move out of that state to be able to do something.
• 1:35:02
  Jaymin Patel: So that's the first step.
• 1:35:04
  Jaymin Patel: But a step that I'll give right now is a powerful question, and the question is who are you being right now?
• 1:35:11
  Jaymin Patel: Right?
• 1:35:11
  Jaymin Patel: So just make a list of like, who are you being right now?
• 1:35:13
  Jaymin Patel: And it might be like oh, I'm being a dad, I'm being a you know employee, and then also emotionally, who are you being?
• 1:35:22
  Jaymin Patel: You know like I'm not being as brave as I would want to be.
• 1:35:24
  Jaymin Patel: You know I'm holding back a little bit.
• 1:35:27
  Jaymin Patel: I'm at the edge of maybe doing something right.
• 1:35:30
  Jaymin Patel: Just be honest.
• 1:35:31
  Jaymin Patel: And then the question I want you to ask right after that is who do you get to be for miracles to occur in your life?
• 1:35:38
  Jaymin Patel: And that will open up what your next step is.
• 1:35:41
  Jaymin Patel: Do you need to be more loud?
• 1:35:42
  Jaymin Patel: Do you need to be more quiet?
• 1:35:43
  Jaymin Patel: Do you get to be more brave?
• 1:35:47
  Jaymin Patel: Do you get to listen more?
• 1:35:49
  Jaymin Patel: Each person has something that they're doing that, if you want a miracle to occur in your life, who do you get to be?
• 1:35:54
  Jaymin Patel: And when you look at your current situation through that lens, you'll get all the clues you need in terms of where you need to be.
• 1:35:57
  Jaymin Patel: And when you look at your current situation through that lens, you'll get all the clues you need in terms of where you need to go next, because miracles are waiting for everyone to occur.
• 1:36:05
  Jaymin Patel: I mean, miracles occur all the time, and so who do you get to be for miracles to occur in your life?
• 1:36:13
  Jaymin Patel: And that gap is where you want to focus your effort If you need to be more loud, more listening.
• 1:36:20
  Jaymin Patel: You know less busy, more internal, more busy, you know more in action, right, more courageous, like what are those things that would allow a miracle to occur?
• 1:36:31
  Jaymin Patel: And that is your map to finding where you need to build your voice, where you need to shift your being so that all of this can occur for you.
• 1:36:42
  Matt Jacob: So those answers to those questions would likely come from the first question of who you are being right now.
• 1:36:47
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:36:47
  Jaymin Patel: So who you're being right now, honestly.
• 1:36:49
  Jaymin Patel: And then, who do you get to be for miracles to occur?
• 1:36:52
  Jaymin Patel: And the gap in the middle right, because everyone has their own journey that gap in the middle is going to show you.
• 1:36:58
  Jaymin Patel: Ah, because everyone has their own journey, that gap in the middle is going to show you, ah, okay, this is where this is what's going to shift things.
• 1:37:03
  Jaymin Patel: For me, this is going to start creating miracles, and once miracles occur in your life, you know, it's like a yawn.
• 1:37:09
  Jaymin Patel: You know it's just contagious, it just keeps happening, you know.
• 1:37:12
  Jaymin Patel: So how do you get to that first one?
• 1:37:14
  Jaymin Patel: You know, and for most people who are watching and viewing this, you know, and for most people who are watching and viewing this, I would imagine it's going to be something around being more bold, right, being more courageous, probably, but for some people it could be just, you know, being less busy, um, you know, being more committed.
• 1:37:28
  Jaymin Patel: You know, um, you know, being more, giving yourself more time.
• 1:37:34
  Jaymin Patel: You know you're pleasing everybody else in your life.
• 1:37:36
  Jaymin Patel: You know, if you have kids and a partner, you know so it might be.
• 1:37:40
  Jaymin Patel: Being selfish might create a miracle, right, so see what comes up for you.
• 1:37:46
  Jaymin Patel: But all of these are possibilities.
• 1:37:47
  Jaymin Patel: But then that opens up the door that you can now go and have a handle, the doorknob.
• 1:37:53
  Jaymin Patel: You can turn it and walk into it.
• 1:37:55
  Jaymin Patel: What does it look like when you're more selfish about your art?
• 1:37:57
  Jaymin Patel: What does it look like when you're more courageous about your photography?
• 1:37:59
  Jaymin Patel: What does it look like when you're more selfish about your art?
• 1:38:00
  Jaymin Patel: What does it look like when you're more courageous about your photography?
• 1:38:02
  Jaymin Patel: What does it look like when you're more bold about your music, you know, or marketing yourself?
• 1:38:04
  Jaymin Patel: That's.
• 1:38:06
  Matt Jacob: That's where you'll see the things begin to shift we haven't even touched on marketing or branding, but we'll leave that for another time.
• 1:38:12
  Jaymin Patel: Yeah, it's a whole.
• 1:38:14
  Jaymin Patel: So much to share.
• 1:38:15
  Matt Jacob: I love that it's such a wealth of knowledge and inspiration.
• 1:38:17
  Matt Jacob: Thank you so much for for coming and, um, thanks for having me.
• 1:38:20
  Matt Jacob: I'm privileged to call your friend and, uh, you know I'm sure we'll have many of these other conversations, off air at least, if not on air again.
• 1:38:27
  Jaymin Patel: So yeah, and I want to thank you.
• 1:38:29
  Jaymin Patel: I want to thank you for having a podcast so that your voice can reach so many people.
• 1:38:32
  Jaymin Patel: I want to thank you for having the photography mentorship that you have.
• 1:38:35
  Jaymin Patel: That just supports so many people in getting through these exact things that we're talking about.
• 1:38:40
  Jaymin Patel: So, thank you, bro.
• 1:38:41
  Jaymin Patel: Thanks for the plug.
• 1:38:42
  Matt Jacob: Yeah, yeah all right, take care man all right, cheers, bye everyone.