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Corruption of Family Court, & Divorce · Goon Tavern

• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome everyone today to the show.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Jamie McKeever, and I just appreciate you tuning in today.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Today we have a very important uh topic to discuss today, and it's basically an epidemic that is currently right now within the church, as well as it is something that happens not only in the secular spiel, but it's happening much more within the walls of the body.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a very special guest with us today that is going to share his story, but the main focal point of this discussion has to do with divorce that's taking place um within the church.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also just about um not only just the idea of like men versus women, but basically that it's the enemy versus marriages right now.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so without any hesitation, I'm just gonna turn it over to my friend, and I just want to welcome you to the show.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: How are you today?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing well, good.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing very good, thank you.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: We can we will call me tea today.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, sounds good.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds good.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, like how how did uh how did things start, you know, when you first uh you know got married, uh, how you met, um, like kind of like from the start of everything, like to basically where you are right now.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, first of all, I just want to say thank you for having me on your show.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, as we've gotten to know each other, I think it's been pretty incredible just your heart and your vision and your putting your money where your mouth is physic figuratively and sincerely and physically, and um just even watching, just and listening to who you are and what you're doing, and the setup and the podcast, it's all should completely you should be it's commendable and you should um I know you're humble, but you should be very proud of yourself and what you've accomplished thus far.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um I was married for 17 years.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: I have four children.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I met my wife uh when we were living over in Europe.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we met at church, and um I had some very specific prayers, and those very specific prayers got answered as I was praying, Lord, is this the one?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um I had done YWAM Youth with a Mission.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: I had really I'm I follow God with all of my heart.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: So when those answers to prayers, very specific prayers got answered, I was like, okay, Lord, I think she is the one.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: And it was prayers of Lord, if she's the one, then I asked that this happens.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um literally I was I was over in Europe and uh my university where I was studying at the time was walking distance from her church, and at the church um I got to know her and her family, and this is a small European church, and um I had said some prayers like Lord, if if um if really she's the one, then I pray that this Sunday her father invite me over for lunch, which has never happened before.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: And sure enough, I got invited over for lunch that Sunday, and just strange things like that that I very specifically prayed for.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I've also sp very specifically prayed some prayers for my career.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in the film world, and um, those prayers also got answered, um, which then led me to have the faith to keep pursuing film, and I've I've had a somewhat successful career, some would argue very successful.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: I always look at the the all the things that were not more failures than success, but yeah, I I my projects have been seen by m millions, if not hundreds of millions of people.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, very, very well-known projects.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: And um so four children.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: We've uh we were in Europe and then we moved back after my first was born.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we moved back, and part of the reasoning was um it was a little bit easier to do film over here than over there.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: So we moved back, and I was, of course, as any young creative or just young couple, it's always a little bit of a challenge right at the beginning.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: Uh just figuring out life and money and living and all the things, and but we were able to eek it out.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: It was very important for us that she was a stay-at-home mom.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we were willing to give up luxuries and necessities um for her to stay at home.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: That was very important to both of us, something we had talked about.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And when you guys got um married, like how old were you guys when you got married?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Twenty-four.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Twenty-four.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: So relatively same age.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: We were both virgins.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, not perfect human beings, but but um yeah, 24.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we stayed pure until we got married.
• 5:38
  unknown: Gotcha.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, all the things.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And how was how old were you when you had your first child?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh it was a honeymoon baby, basically.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: So uh 13 months later after marriage, uh the baby came.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: So so it was it was uh uh straight into having a baby.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Straight into having kids in the family.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and so I got four of them stinkers, and um yeah, so uh yeah.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: So um uh when when do you say that it started like would you say that the first parts of like your marriage was it pretty smooth or did it kind of like just gradually were there just problems that arised or what took place or struggles that you had or she had?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna answer that in a little bit of a unique way.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna kind of go around about and then I'll come back to it.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I was in divorce care, which is for um once you're getting divorced.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um and my marriage of 17 years was the youngest marriage in that group.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_03: There was 25 years old, 25-year marriages, 22 and a 50-year marriage, and everything in between.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I only preferenced that because one of the things I wanted to also mention is that we only dated for about six months, minus one.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: So five months.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I was personally more focused on making sure she knew who I was, like I was explaining, like I was very um focused on making sure that she understood what she was getting herself into.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I thought I knew enough about her, but I but looking back, of course, hindsight's always 2020.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, well, maybe there were some things there with more time I would have realized.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: But I bring that all up to say that my marriage of 17 years, there were plenty of people in that div in my divorce care group that had also been married or dated for years and years and years.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it's not one's not indicative of the other.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: But obviously, the more time you spend, and then the road, you know, the rosy glasses, the pink colored glasses come off, you can see more things.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I I'm going to assume that that played some into it, um, where I didn't fully understand what I was saying yes to.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: But I I had this, I'm gonna call it naive idea that if you follow God and she follows God, that you're going to be able to work it out and figure it out.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, a big element, I think that is still very doable and possible, um, but a big element is it does take two people um to to be willing to make that commitment of working and talking it out.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that was something she simply unfortunately chose not to do.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um what was the question again?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh here.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just like, you know, when did when did things start to kind of become like you started to see cracks like yes in the marriage or you know, difficulties started to arise, or um was there a like uh was it one specific point that it kind of like started to go downhill?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like can you pinpoint that, or was it just kind of like a gradual shift over time and through the years?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean um even in our conversations between yourself and me and the way you're thinking is somewhat similar to the way I I've been having some thoughts on everything.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: And what I mean by that is I think there is genuinely this I'm just gonna call it distorted opinions of men versus women and um what it means to be married and and and as I've been dating again, one of the things I like to ask is what is the difference to you in wanting a husband and being a wife?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a very confusing on on surface, it's a very confusing question, but when you dig down into it, it's actually very telling and a very interesting uh question, and people have very interesting answers because one is they want to be loved, and the other is they want to love, right?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's very fascinating.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_03: So as I I would argue that I didn't quite know her as well as I thought I did.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I didn't know her family as well as I did, as well as I thought I did, and um, I think there were some familial family relations that um kind of caused her to be who she has become.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um she um and all that to say, I think at the end of the day, I realized pretty quickly after marriage that we would not become best friends.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: And that was actually very heartbreaking to me.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um I'm a very upbeat, optimistic guy, and the person that I've dreamed about and that's beautiful and that I love the most, um kind of told me in a way we won't be best friends, and it was very confusing and kind of rocked me to my core.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: And and I kind of had that realization, I guess, fairly quickly in the marriage.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, at this point, uh 20 years later, I don't remember exactly if it was a month or a year, but it was quickly.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember like when when we were still living in Europe, she was the one working.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: I was a student, and she would work ridiculous hours, and I'd always be upset that she would be gone for so long because I wanted to hang out with my wife, and um and then w later in life when I was working from home, and it was like this is like a dream come true for anybody, right?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: Anybody would want me to be at home all the time getting to hang out and all the things, and nope, she literally would say, I I hate you being home, and I don't understand why you're home, and I wish you were out of the house.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: And that's just such weird words to hear as a husband.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um how soon was that uh where she stead said that?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: How far were you into your marriage?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, again, I don't exactly remember dates anymore.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it was right at the beginning, she had worked in the restaurant business, which is very different in Europe than over here, and she would work 12 to 16 hour days and have you know be exhausted, really.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: So we didn't really have a whole lot of like dating and courtship and just going out and having fun.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, we had that the first few months, um, but then it slowly kind of just died or whatever.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: And and and I I think it's really more of her just being a broken human that I would say, I don't know if she knows how to love herself, and I don't know if she knows how to love me.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then that became more and more evidenced as uh the nastiness came out.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but fairly quickly on my world was rocked with uh she's happy to hang out, but not really all the time, and um all those things, and that really confused me.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, now obviously a few decades later, I'm more intent or more intentional with whenever I find my next person that wants to live with me forever, my forever, uh, we have to be best friends.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's really important to me because I didn't never had that.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: So it was I always said in my brain, um, you know, because I have projects that have won awards and been to award shows and whatever.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I always, if I ever am on the big stage, I always, you know, like the Oscars or whatever, I always said my biggest accomplishment is staying married.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_03: That was always what I would say in my brain.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: And um, so then the last I think I would say during COVID.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: I would say in COVID is where before COVID, I would stay busy with children and their activities.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I'm I'm your go-lucky guy.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: I have lots of friends, and I would always hang out with friends.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: I was always bummed.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: She would never hang out with me and my friends, and she had a very select few.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: And if I wanted to hang out with her and quote unquote friends, it would have to be with her group.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: She would never want to hang out with me and my group, which was very confusing.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: I was confused a lot of my marriage.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't understand why she was the way she was.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: Now I have a lot more clear understanding of what some of that um the meat of the reasoning for that is.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but we just we weren't friends.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: She did she had zero interest in being with me and my friends.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I'd stay busy with the children and their activities, working from home.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: We were very blessed where as she was a stay-at-home mom, and she did a great job with cooking and cleaning and all the things, but I wanted more than just cooking and cleaning.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's not why I was married.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so I'd stay busy with the kids and go, Well, this is life, and Lord help me not to give up.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: And how can I keep loving her?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: Because I thought as the man, that's my job is to love her and to help her and to, you know, basically sacrifice for her and the children, and that's what I did, including my own needs and my own happiness and my own everything.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so so I think during COVID, it really started to show itself.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I think um like 2021, we went on a six-month road trip, uh, living out here in California.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: We decided that if we have to do um long-distance learning, we might as well put some long distance.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: And since I work from home, it wasn't a huge challenge for us.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: And with sports and all the things, we were thinking, um, look, here's the deal.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: We this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody's traveling, we can travel, costs gas, everything.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: We did like three months, 6,000 miles in an RV.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: My my uh average gas price was two bucks a gallon.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_03: That'll never happen again.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: All the kids certainly won't.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: All the kids' sports were all closed down.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I was like, look, we can go visit family we've never seen before and perhaps never see before again um because of age and long distances stuff.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: How was um as far as the differences?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think this would be important too for the audience.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what was like, you know, your parents and their background, and what were her parents and her background as far as upbringing and stuff?
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Were they similar?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Were they kind of opposite or kind of a mix?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: So generational curses and generational sin is very real.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: And if you can think back to just the whole thought process of um, you know, why, you know, all those things you kind of disliked about your parents that you then kind of see yourself doing, right?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And um it's kind of like that progressive commercial, you know, where you become your parents, you know.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly it.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why we all I love those commercials, they're great.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's why we all relate to it because that's exactly that's literally what I was thinking in my head as well.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: And um growing up, um, I had parents that weren't as supportive as I always thought or expected them to be.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: And when you start digging into your own family, you start realizing their hang-ups and their um generational curses and sins that they bring along.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: My dad's father died when he was a child, so my dad never knew what it meant to be a man.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my mom's parents, the mom, they got divorced.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know exactly when her parents got divorced, but when she was a kid, and the mom was a warden uh in the prison system, and I I think her dad was a professor.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: And um I think the the warden, the mom just kind of allowed her to do whatever she wanted, and I think that as a child probably freaked her out, and she became over-controlling and um anxious, and um, I think she has some real narcissistic tendencies, and I don't say that lightly.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't grow up in the best of situations, but when you start learning a lot about narcissism, narcissism and control, um, you learn if you're kind of what they call the black sheep, where you you won't allow that control to control you, then you get discarded.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_03: And so that's what kind of happened to me by my family.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and and it's uh it's a crazy.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I never had a very super close relationship with my parents, um, and to some degree with my siblings either, um, which is very sad, of course.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: And uh my ex's family, she's one of six, um, she had a very close-knit family that I had always desired and I kind of loved.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, we'd spend a lot of Christmases and stuff over with her and her family, which I always, of course, loved.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: And and them being over in Europe, I always supported my children learning the European traditions and all the different things.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so um, I was a big proponent of, you know, and and we had invited my family many times to come to Germany and Europe and different places we would go and visit, and they never wanted to.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I stopped trying, and there was always a good enough excuse.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: So, so I kind of embraced her family, um, but then come to find out her father had left the Philippines, it's a very shame-based culture, um, had a lot of issues, and um unfortunately, as a result of um of his um trauma and abuse, I think he was actually um one of the abusers.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like my ex, she didn't speak till she was six or seven, and and she had all these other things happening in her life where basically from an early age she was traumatized.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't even know if she fully understands that she was traumatized, but I think that manifested itself um in our marriage.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: And um, basically at the end of the day, if you don't love yourself, you're incapable of loving others.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And um, we're all just broken people, and she's a very broken human being that basically had decided she didn't want to live in the U.S.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: She probably believed she couldn't support herself in the U.S.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: is in California, it's very expensive.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: She was only here to support me and my dreams.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: There's two types of foreigners, in my opinion: ones that would love to come to the U.S.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: and ones that really don't care.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: And she was more of the I don't really care.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: So when she decided that she had had enough, um, like I said, that was right after COVID, then things started to seemingly after the road trip go pretty downhill.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and she decided she had enough.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: I had flown her back to Europe and with the children, and she decided not to come home.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that so she so she sh stayed in Germany.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she stayed over there.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, did you guys ever uh was the road trip just in the US?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: So you guys um you guys never moved to the US then?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: You guys always lived in Germany?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_03: No, inaccurate.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: So we lived in Germany, so I lived there personally for a total of about three and a half years, and then once my oldest was born, we live there for another year.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: And Germany's very much you have to study anything for three years, even to water grass, you have to study it for three and a half years.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's why BMWs and and Bosch, everything's such high quality because they're really well uh learned and taught over there.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, being a more of an int independent entrepreneur, I didn't super in a foreign language, I didn't super I I assimilated, but not as well as I wanted and I Coming from LA, I know the film business a little bit better over here.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: So we ended up moving back to the US in 2010.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: So we've been in the U.S.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_03: since 2010.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: My other three children were born here, but every other year or so we would fly, I'd fly them and the kids out there to visit family, experience German culture, um, and all those things.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: And um, because of COVID and the lockdowns, they weren't able to go over there for about four years.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: So we had we would, we had, we wanted her to go back.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I kind of had made a joke, um, because at towards the end, she was like, Look, I don't want you in the house.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want all these things.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I don't even understand what you're saying.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: But we had the RV, so I'm like, look, I'll go sleep in the RV, which was what parked on our property.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_03: And but then after weeks of doing that, I got tired of him like you can sleep in the RV too, some if you want, and we can trade off.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even understand this.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um there was a point where she like it was just like a what, like kind of like the idea of like wanting space, so she just wanted you to not be in the house at all, or yeah, she wanted you know, she said, Look, this is kind of like a separation.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it was just two words from her to me.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't legal or anything, but she said it was a separation.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Okay.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, being naive, not really knowing what exactly she's thinking or planning or doing.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was there any particular reason for that, like that she wanted separation?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did she communicate that at all to you?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: So, no, I mean, there was there was never any infidelity, there was never any, you know, there was not nothing other than she just changed her mind.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: Now looking back at it, um, I think this has been a seed that had been planted a long time in her head from either her friends or whoever.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: And this was just, I think COVID probably being closer together and me wanting to keep loving her and her not wanting to love me back.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_03: I think it just came to a head.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I think um after that road trip, you know, you're close to each other for three months.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: I think it just was too much for her to handle.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I had some business happening in Florida, so I used that as an excuse to drive one of my vehicles out there since I was leaving, sleeping in the RV, anyways.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Look, I'll just go do a road trip and um go work.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: I can work in Florida for a month or two.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: So between the road trip and Florida, we planned it where I'd be gone for two or three months, whatever it was.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: I would fly home about a week and a half before she left for Germany, so I could help her and the kids get ready for Germany.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I kind of made a joke, I'm like, look, you're coming back, right?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: And she said, Yeah, and kind of laughed it off, and she didn't.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so then I had to uh get international lawyers, I had to file.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: So she basically kidnapped your kids and went to Germany.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and that's and that happened around like uh 2021 or slightly after that?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: No, that was 2023.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_03: 2022.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: 2022?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Gotcha.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: Two or three.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're in 25, right?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: So it's 2023.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 2023.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: I see.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so in like February of 23, uh, I ended up driving to Florida and did my business out there.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I flew back like in May of 23.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: And May, I flew her and the kids out to Germany.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then she stopped talking to me.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: She wouldn't talk to me on the phone, um, wouldn't let me talk with the kids.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: So I knew something was going on.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: And um the kids would say, when I did get to talk to them, oh, mom's busy doing this or that.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I think they were all busy.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: I think she was planning.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I know she was planning everything that she was getting ready to do against me.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: And then she left me a voicemail in like June.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, look, this is not okay.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is before I knew she wasn't fully coming back.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: And she left me a voicemail that said, if you don't give me 100% custody of the kids, she said, she said, I'm not safe with you.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: The children aren't safe with you.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: And if you don't give me 100% custody of the kids, your life will be ruined.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: And so I said, Look, oh, oh, and she had said, Hey, um, we want to just try living out in Germany for a few months.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is before all the voicemails and stuff.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: We just want to try living out here in Germany for a few months.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think about that?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: But I need you to have a written note saying you're okay with it.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, look, maybe that could work.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: Let me see what needs to be done to make all that work.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's it's a big deal to change the kids' school and all these things.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not just gonna say yes because, you know, whatever, and I miss my children, all the things.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: But then to find out when I talk to the international lawyer, after you live X amount of days, I forget if it's three months or six months or whatever it is, you can claim asylum and that can become your your your um your place of of living.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: And so she could have she could have just stayed out there, and of course she knew that because she's talking to whoever lawyer she's talking to.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: I had no clue.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_03: So when I talked with a lawyer, they said no, absolutely, do not give her permission because then she can she can claim that as her domicile, it's called.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: And if the children are out there X amount of days, then that then that and you'll you'll have a lot more legal issues.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_03: So once I learned that, I said, no, absolutely not.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: You need to come home.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to get divorced, that's fine, but we need to figure it out.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: Three out of the four children were born here, this is their home.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, again, consequences.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to leave me and my blessing of a home to live and all that, that's fine, and you can get a job and do all the things.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: But the children were born here, there, and this is all they know.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: And um, that's when she then we were having a conversation, she got angry at me, she hung up and then left me the voicemail, which that voicemail ended up being, I'm so thankful she hung.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_03: I I thought I lost reception, but I'm so thankful that she had hung up on me because I had the voicemail as proof of her intentions.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, of course I played that twice for the judge, and the judge just didn't care.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's family law.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so like that that's another thing that I think uh the the way that uh like our court systems work, I think people are very ignorant of until it happens to you.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um you have it where the percentage also of just like custody cases, it's very rare that it's fifty-fifty.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: I think the uh average is thirty-five percent uh child time fathers get with their kids, actually.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Even in cases where it's kind of split or depending on the percentages.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um so in in the short, she was basically gonna use um your current situation to have it where that would be put down asylum in terms of your relationship.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: She would so did she accuse you of like abuse, or what were the allegations that she was going to use as far as that goes?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: So um so as all this was going down, of course, I'm asking friends, I'm praying, you know, I'm talking to different people.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: And um I specifically went to three different people of different socioeconomical backgrounds that know me well and that love Jesus and all the things.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Look, this is the situation my ex is saying that she wants to keep the kids in Germany and basically wants me to sign over my parental rights.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: What should I do?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: Should I fight it?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: Should I not?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: And they said, all three of them, I said, Lord, if all three say one thing, then I'll take that as a sign.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: And all three, um, including an African American friend who was on my son's soccer team.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: We were both ex um assistant coaches on the soccer team for a few years.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: They had said, Look, I grew up without a dad.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: Your children absolutely need a father figure.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: God designed it for fathers to be in their children's lives.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's and it's instrumental and influential, and the statistics you look 'em up, are all about fatherless households.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: The children do not do well, both men and women, for kids, for kids both of women and male and female sex.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_03: So I took that as a as a no, it is my duty.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: I always I already wanted them, but I was like, Am I being selfish?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because I know the ex wouldn't do super well here, but that's a consequence of choosing to leave my blessing.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and um of her being able to stay home, but she wanted to go home so she could be with all of her siblings and have help.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: So um she um what was the question in?
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's just like you know, how she basically was gonna use asylum.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so you said how she left you that voicemail and basically kind of like a threat to you.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then from there, what what were some of the other steps that proceeded after that?
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: So again, um, my ex um personally I don't think has the ability to creatively come up with the evil that she came up with.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, with all of my heart, um, it's her lawyer that was disbarred from the state of California practicing law for 10 years.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: For fraud upon the court, for lying.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: And and the more you you get into the court system, the more you realize how difficult it is to have actual evidence that will be admissible.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's the court is its own world that none of us understand.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: So he was disbarred for 10 years, and he's the one.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: When you listen to the voicemail, everyone has told me this.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: It no, it does not sound like she wrote it, it sounds like she read it, that it was written for her to scare me at the beginning.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it was almost like a practice run, in a way.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like she was just kind of coursed through her uh her lawyer every step of the way it told her what to do and say.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: She basically she she's the lawyer said, if you want to go to Germany with the children, then you need full full custody.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: If you want full custody, you need to blame every abuse under the sun, and you throw them all to the wall, and whatever sticks, maybe you'll get lucky and you can have it.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: That was that was the whole intent, the whole time.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's that was the preceding of, oh, everybody's afraid of you, um, and uh we're not safe with you, and all these different things.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: Now keep in mind the season before my uh she was in ninth grade, my ninth grader, my oldest daughter, uh, begged me to be her come her volleyball coach because she was homeschooled and her mom was coach, was teaching her at homeschool as I was working, and she begged me to be the volleyball coach.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_03: I played all the sports, and so I was their volleyball coach the season before, and now all of a sudden she's deathly afraid of me.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: Keep in mind that my two boys um were in soccer and I was their assistant soccer coach, and I take them to school almost not every day, but many multiple times a week, and mom would pick them up, and we were at we felt very blessed that we were all the all the school functions as a family and all the things.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_03: So she didn't blame a whole lot of children abuse, although um I think it was emotional abuse, but um I have found out how evil family law is, and family law is basically it's a preponderance of um evidence, and all that means is it needs to be 50.05% tipping the scale, and well, it could be considered abuse, and then the judge can have full leeway.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: And in order to skip to tip the scale, crying in the courtroom is enough.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_03: Evidence does not matter, crying is enough.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: So when you say like crying in the courtroom, are you talking about like when an accusation is made and then if she cried in the courtroom, that then the judge would be like, Oh, it's truthful?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's wow.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, is an understatement.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was blown away having spent nearly um tens of thousands, probably close to a hundred thousand dollars on a lawyer, and that's all the savings we had as a family of six with a home and uh being a creative.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it was a miracle we even had all that, and um, that was all of our life savings.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: And um when you when you sit there, so she had she claimed I raped her on my wedding night, 17 years of marriage.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: She had been to Germany multiple times by herself, could have left at any time if I'd raped her on my wedding night.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, again, this is not necessarily her, this is her signing off on it, but her lawyer is the one that said do all these things.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: You look up the word silver bullet divorce, it's lawyers, it's a well-known practice that lawyers use, and the whole intent is you just claim abuse, and the dads will freak out and say you can take whatever you want, and then the women win everything.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so she claimed a raptor on my wedding night.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that all my children are victims are uh uh what's the word?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Products of rape.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um thank God that was so um um ridiculous, I guess is the best word I can think of at the moment.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: That the judge did not believe that, but the judge chose to to believe everything else.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_03: So she claimed financial abuse, she claimed emotional abuse.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um basically she did not claim, funny enough, physical abuse, and I think one of the reasons why is she actually was she would hit me.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I think that's why she didn't want to go there.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: How often would that take?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_03: Not many times.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: I you know, she uh she she did it a few times, and I said, You're not doing that again, and she didn't.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um but uh was it just like you like fist, or was it like slaps or throwing objects or yeah, I don't think it really matters, but um it was just it was hit her hitting me.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I uh at the end of the day, I truly believe it's her not having the mental abilities to talk through her frustration and her anger, and the only way she needed to do it, and what I don't know, maybe she grew up this way, I don't know, but was just talk through like a lot of angry people that use fists or use physical is because they don't have the cognitive ability to to talk out their frustration, so they just go to the easiest way of hitting.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I think that was kind of her situation.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: I could be completely off, but yeah, it happened three or four times over 17 years or however many.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: And um, so she never claimed that on paperwork, but then in her evidence, she did claim something like I don't know, it was it was it's the even the way she would testify in court, she would talk about one thing and then her lawyer, and then they would talk about a different time and a different thing, and then bring it back.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_03: And so the whole point is chaos and confusion.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_03: That's the whole game plan.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: And um so when you have a judge that literally um when in my motion of recusal to the judge, um, your honor, you have publicly stated in in public documents that you grew up with an abusive father, you have publicly stated in public documents that you're pro-women, pro-children, and pro-families.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: What's the one thing you left out of there?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: Fathers.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: Fathers and publicly stated that you enjoy the discretion of the bench.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: What does that mean?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_03: You enjoy screwing people over whichever way you want.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_03: And the state, the California state statutes, the best of my understanding, state if there's even the appearance of bias.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_03: If a normal common man would say, Yes, there's an appearance of bias, you should recuse yourself.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_03: She said, No, I'm not biased.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: Knowing full well it'd be another thousand dollars and another pellet and another hundreds of documents that I don't know how to do because of that time I was by myself without uh representation called Pro Say.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: Shout out pro seydadaps.com.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_03: They um a chat GPT thing and it's 20 bucks a month and it'll change your life.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: But um so you was that for uh like because I I want to be sensitive to that you're still in a lot of court stuff right now, and so you don't have to answer this question.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: But did you first start out with a lawyer, or has it been where you have kind of been like by yourself alone representing yourself up to this point, or when did that change?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_03: So remember, I I spent about a hundred thousand dollars on lawyers.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_03: And um, unfortunately, the very first I went through three.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: The very first one really skewed screwed me over with child visitation.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um at the very beginning, I had basically full visitation, I could see the kids and all that, and then um what happens is you just don't know what you're doing.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: And and the lawyers know this, judge know this, and so they just get you to degree whatever's easiest for the lawyers, which is disgusting to me.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've heard this too, that like uh for our audience that's not aware of this, that the lawyers even kind of all know each other, even the ones that might be representing even other clients, like they're kind of all buddies, pretty much.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_03: They I'm shaking my head, yes, and they know the the judges.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost like they're in a court arena having fun, and it's at our expense.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and and they just kind of literally go in there for sport and kind of argue against each other for fun.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody in that courtroom is collecting their$300 plus an hour, so it the outcomes and results don't matter at all.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_03: And if you know, they don't care where the kids go.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and um, so that's exactly right.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: So then, so then um when I go through a year and a hundred thousand dollars of the lawyers, and the judge, after I played this voicemail twice of you will be ruined if you don't give me a hundred percent custody, after I had a professional ex uh, so then I had to have what's called supervised visitation.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_03: I had unprofessional supervised visitation.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: She my ex lied about that that she wasn't doing a right job, and then I begged my ex to then, and so the judge said, Yes, I agree, and I'm not gonna argue.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_03: And so since she said, since your ex says she's not doing a good job, we're just going to slash her off the list.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, my ex knew the other three people in the list weren't willing to do it because it was too much for them.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_03: And so I begged her, I gave her a list, I gave my ex a list of 10 names of all people she knew.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_03: She said, Oh, I don't know any of them.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Oh, yes, you do.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: And she said, Oh, no, I don't.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Well then give me the names of other people.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: She said, Oh, I don't know anybody.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Oh, yes, you do.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: She said, Oh no, I don't.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: So then the judge again didn't care.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: So then forced me to pay like 300 bucks an hour to see my own frickin' children, and um, which then of course I had phone calls every day I could make, and she wouldn't answer the phone.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: I it was it was like five or six days of the week my phone calls every day.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_03: I called three times a day.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: And when I brought that up to the judge, the judge's response was literally, you don't get phone calls anymore.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when you when you talked about the so when you did have visitation with your kids, it was where you had to have supervised visits.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: Professional, it's called, and that is where you're paying somebody.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_03: I see.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: So at the very beginning, I didn't need any of that, and then I needed unprofessional, so it's just a friend watching, and then she lied because she she was trying to drain me financially.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like she said that you will be ruined.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: So when you spend all this money on a lawyer, and the judge literally says, This is after the judge agreed that I didn't rape my wife, shocker.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_03: But and and being in the film world, of course, that's that's um already like a lot of of pressure of you're being claimed of rape and all these things, and there it's a big deal in the film world too.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so is already so much pressure and and all the different things.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: So thank God the judge didn't believe that, but I had to force my lawyer to ask the judge, well, we notice you didn't, because it's it's legal ease, and the legal ease is if you don't bring it up in the in the final final order, then it's omitted by by default.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_03: Well, no one us won't know that.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so unless I knew I knew, unless it was spelled out in my court reports, which is the the transactions of what happened in in court, and yes, it cost me thousands of dollars for all this stuff, but I needed receipts.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um then then the then my ex could continue telling all the family like she did before that I raped her and all these things, and because the restraining order was granted, she would say, see, the restraining order is granted, yes, you must have raped me.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to extra ask my lawyer, I forced him to ask the judge, you know, explain in English, no, I didn't believe the rape accusations.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_03: So you would think a judge that already had this voicemail with the with the um evidence on it and the the motivation and intent.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: And then you would also think with fake accusations that it's a no-brainer, which I I thought never being in court, rarely got even speeding tickets.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think in the last 15 or 20 years, the only tickets I got was two fix it tickets for cracked windshield and light bulb out.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_03: So as Christians, we don't even know what the the court system is like, and um, you know, all we're taught is stay away from it.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, you know, I'm as boring of a Christian as any of them, and like I have.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: Homeless friends that you know I take care of, and they got their mail at my house, and I take them out to eat and do all these things for the community.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_03: So I had no clue about any of this stuff.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_03: But when you spend every last dime trying to just be in your children's lives, and the judge looks at you and goes, Because no, I don't believe the rape.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: She's this is all on the court testimony.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_03: Court report it's called.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't believe that you raped her.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_03: But I don't believe that you made the the I think basically she said the amount of money.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: So so basically my ex said I made like$200,000.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: It was either a month or a year.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even remember at this point.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: She said so many lies about how much money I made over the years.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: And there were some years where I made some decent money, um, but that was just outliers.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's welcome to the film world.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and some other business stuff I had.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_03: But um that was multiple years before when we were just living off savings as I was hustling for the next project.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_03: And when the next project came along, yeah, it was a big project, but I didn't get paid a lot, and I didn't need it because I had a good amount of money from savings, and I was trying to build other businesses and whatever.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_03: So she claimed all these things, and so the judge sided with this lawyer and said, No, you did make all that money, even though I showed all my receipts and tax and all the things.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and um, so she said, Well, you were financially abusive, you were, I think she stated emotionally abusive, and she said, Because Lara cried at the right times, I'm granting the restraining order.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that is the most demoralizing thing when you had all the evidence of her lying, and the accusations were proven in court as lies, and yet because she cried at the right time, but again, when you have a judge that grew up with an abusive father and is pro-women, pro-children, pro-family, and enjoys the discretion of the bench, you're screwed as a human being.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: And that's exactly what happened.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_03: So the restraining order was granted.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_03: Then when she wouldn't bring the children up for my visitations, and I did a contempt of court and a perjury because I finally found some paperwork that she had said, Oh, I only made$100,000 a year, which was direct uh uh contradiction to the$200,000 I made the year, the month, or whatever.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_03: So when I had that, I presented that as perjury lying under oath, and I also coupled that with a contempt of court, her not bringing the children.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_03: So then what did the judge do?
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: The judge said, Well, oh no, her lawyer, who again had been disbarred from the state of California, said, Oh, I'm the one that wrote that.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: And because I wasn't under oath, I wasn't in perjury because I'm a lawyer and I have special rights, and so then the perjury was dismissed.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then um, and then the contempt of court, and I quote, in the name of justice, she dismissed the contempt of court against my ex.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll tell you why.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because if I had got my contempt to court, then that would have been what I would have used when we both knew that the next once the the restraining order was granted, we both knew the exact next legal move was a move away because she had full custody of the kids, she could now go for a move away, it's called.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_03: And if in the contempt of court, if I had said, No, Your Honor, she can't even follow the laws of the land while she's still in jurisdiction.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_03: How are you going to make her follow the laws of the land when she's over in Europe?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_03: So the the judge knew exactly what she was doing and set her my ex up to win.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_03: There were multiple times where they pled the fifth, I was winning.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_03: This was for the move away.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_03: The judge accepted them pleading the fifth.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_03: They thought them pleading the fifth would then screw me over because she gave her testimony, and then it was my turn, my time to um cross-examine, and that's when they decided to plead the fifth.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_03: So in legal ease, and I was praying about it in legal ease.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: All you do is when you want to do something, you just say motion to.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_03: So I said, uh, Your Honor, I'd like to do a motion to um now, I forgot what legal term I use.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, basically to disqualify or to dismiss or to redact all of her testimony because if she pled the fifth now, then that should also exclude all exclude it.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: Probably was the legal word I used.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: Exclude all the previous testimony.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: Judge accepted it.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_03: I freaked out, I'm winning.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: Holy crap.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: What do I do?
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: This is without a lawyer right now.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, baby, this is without a lawyer.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: Man, thank God for AI.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm telling you.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_03: Shout out proceedad app and Anthony Council.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, oh, I'm I've got a PhD in in being a pro say dad ad app uh uh pro say dad uh when you're self-representing your and then also in narcissism and also in family law, and that has now become basically a big part of my mission in life, um, is because I my eyes have been wide open into the hellhole that is um family law and the abilities of them to do and say.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: Family law is the only place where the the the judge, I mean, every lawyer knows this.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: They say that's why they don't do family law, is because it's the discretion of the bench.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_03: Evidence doesn't matter, it's whatever the lawyer, whatever the judge decides is in the best interest, and then it doesn't nothing matters except what the judge decides, which then can make yourself be in a position of myself where I'm still paying my child support and my everything else, and I own a home and I'm homeless, and she hasn't paid for the home, and so it's going into foreclosure, and it's just disgusting evil.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_03: So I I win all these things, but the judge can literally just move the goalpost.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_03: So again, the goalpost and the the goal at this point I've accepted I'm gonna the goalposts will get moved.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm literally doing everything I do to collect receipts for what my future um legal moves will be um when that time is correct.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I've just been collecting receipts.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_03: And um, so played the fifth, all the good things.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_03: I freaked out.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_03: I went to the bathroom, I called a friend of mine that every now and then would give me advice or whatever, and I'm like, um, I'm like, what should I do?
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, You're good.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_03: Just um just give your testimony, and that'll be that.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_03: Five minutes pea break.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: I come back in, the lawyers changed their tone.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_03: They said, No, now we don't want to do plea the fifth because basically because I had checkmated them, because they didn't expect me to to do a motion to ex exclude all their things, so their testimony will if I don't object when you in law, if you don't object, then it's considered truth until someone says it's not, right?
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_03: So a judge is not to be there subjectively, or yeah, they're just there to be objective, and they don't I think that's right.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_03: They are subjective, but they're supposed to be objective, and their job is not to say this is your next legal move, their job is just to look at both legal moves and say make sure it stays within the bounds of what the state laws select.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_03: Is allowable is allowable.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, the judges aren't doing that, and that's a nationwide issue.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_03: So then the judge, so then they change their mind and and and decide not to plead the fifth, and of course the judge accepted it, which you know, because they already knew the judge was on their side anyway.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_03: So, but I still in my brain, I'm like, that's right, you've been practicing law for 50 years, and I'm still outmaneuvering you, and I've still been outmaneuvering him.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you can't win when a judge can literally change like the the newest contempt of court I just filed.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I filed it correctly the same way I did last time.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_03: Her the judge said the first time, I can't accept it because you didn't send in your service of filing it against against her, and I'm like, Oh, it's there, just like it was.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, she looks like she goes, Oh, well, you can't, you can't I can't accept it because now she's out of the country.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, she was in the country at the time, Your Honor, and I filed it on the lawyer the right way I was supposed to, and and I had the process server do it, or the cer the person that served it, and I did all correctly.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_03: She goes, Well, you can't because she's in Germany, so you can't win.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_03: You can't win when they can just literally change the the laws of the game right in front of you because they're the judge.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so the newest contempt of court um with more things that she didn't do so uh are going to be dismissed, and that would have brought her back and all the things.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: And um at the end of the day, um so she dismissed my first contempt of court with not bringing my children, and then in the move away, the whole point was you never see your children, so there's no reason for them to stay here.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have a hundred percent, you have zero percent custody, you don't visit your children, so I'm allowing them to leave.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_03: So literally, she didn't bring the children, my phone calls were dismissed, not answered, legally supposed to be.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: And those are the ones where you were trying to communicate, like, hey, oh, like when are you gonna bring it?
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: No, I had daily phone calls with my children.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_03: I see.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_03: Every day at six o'clock, they were supposed to have a phone call with dad.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm familiar with it.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_03: When we did talk, it would be for 20 minutes or whatever it was, a great long time.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_03: And then she would, and then sometimes they would come on the phone, go, Dad, we can't talk.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're about to go do this, we're about to go have dinner.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the times when she would.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I wasn't, I only had from six to seven or exactly whatever time it was.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't so you would probably make sure that they were busy during that time so that the time would be less.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: I would imagine.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_03: And and correct.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then she moved the computer upstairs, the kids told me, because she forced me instead of being able to do it on a phone, she did it on a computer app so she could record every conversation I had with them, which she's legally due because I'm a restrained party at that point.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: And she would record everything and uh trying to trying to get me in trouble or whatever, which caused me more PTSD or whatever.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but she moved it upstairs, and the kid said we would never hear it, Dad.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_03: So we didn't know you were calling, and I can't call back.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_03: I called three times every hour.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_03: I called the beginning, in the middle, and the end.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't want to do any more because then I could be considered stalking or harassing or who knows what.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_03: So it's a very weird place when you're already it's it's the only civil element.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_03: A restraining order is civil, but if you break it, it could become criminal and you could go to jail.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of the only things that can go from civil to criminal.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_03: So it's a very scary place when you've never been in there and you don't understand the rules, and you know, it's just it's all up to interpretation.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: But so that so she wouldn't answer my my kids wouldn't see the my quit kids wouldn't be aware I called.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_03: I would call three times and uh nothing would happen.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_03: So then the judge said, Well, no more phone calls for you, Travis.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then I would complain about the visitations, and the judge would say, Well, you just didn't show you didn't see your kids.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_03: So because you didn't see your kids, you only saw them X amount of percent this past year, uh, I'm granting her the move away.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_03: So that's how sick and twisted our system is.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I've caught the lawyer in multiple lies.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, he continues to lie.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_03: He said, I only saw the kids X amount of times.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_03: This was recently, I think a month or two ago.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I brought up the lawyer, Your Honor.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: I would literally say, Your Honor, is he under oath?
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_03: I know he's not, but is he under oath?
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_03: I at this point I now know he's not.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, she's like, no, I'm like, well, he's been contempt to court and all the uh no, sorry, he's been uh uh uh uh disbarred from the state for fraud upon the court and all these things.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, they all work together, so nobody cares what I think.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I mean, I could tell you stories, you know, literally judges.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: I've been kicked around.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_03: I have one main judge, and I was thinking, well, since I'm being kicked around to these other judges, maybe go a little bit better.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_03: Nope, it was even worse for me.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, the one you're I'm legally allowed to have a court reporter.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, they wouldn't give me my court reporter.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_03: She said, No, no court reporter in my completely illegal.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_03: She did it.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: The other judge was what's, I think, called a commissioner or a judicial or something like that.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_03: Not technically a judge, but allowed to sit in if I agree to it the very first time.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't agree to it.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_03: So my case was continued to another time with the other judge, but then they brought me back in front of that judge, and um, and and then I just said, well, let's just go with it.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_03: But I didn't agree with any of it, and I didn't want the judge, anyways.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_03: But what what choices do I have?
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_03: And so uh, but so it's gonna become it's gonna become an order and legal and whatever else.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: So I just get forgive my language, dicked around, screwed around, and remember, I'm the only person sitting in that courthouse that's not getting paid.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_03: Judges are getting paid, lawyers are getting paid, I'm losing pay.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: What uh when this was going on as well, like what was your parents' reaction to all this and and her parents?
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, uh, her family basically said, Travis, we don't know what she did to you, but whatever you did to her was not acceptable, and there's no excuses.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_03: And my email back and they said, Don't ever talk to us again.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_03: And my email back was, I'm not sure what I'm what I did.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_03: What am I being accused of?
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: Could you at least tell me that?
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_03: And at that time I was very optimistic and I said, Well, at least the court of law will listen to both sides of the story before making their final judgment.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_03: Unlike you who made, and these are Christian quote unquote pastors and Jesus loving people, unlike you who made a decision based off of one side of a of a thing.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_03: So, so my name was completely defamed.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my parents, unfortunately, have believed all of her lies.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and and actually they're the ones that paid for her lawyer bill.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_03: I came to find out.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_03: So it was never a fight against me and her, it was a fight against me and my parents, which, when you remember back to the narcissism and the black sheep, they want to control.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_03: So my parents were happy to screw me over.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_03: Now keep in mind, these are the parents when I bought my home five years prior, and um, it turned out I needed an extra four grand, they weren't the ones that I went to for help because they would never help me financially.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to go to other friends for four thousand lousy dollars that I paid them back in three months or something.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_03: But they were happy to spend a hundred thousand dollars against their own son to not see his children.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: But then when you realized your own parents paid your ex-wife's lawyer fee up to a hundred thousand dollars.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_03: Plus, instead of paying the mortgage, they went out and got our different rental house.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_03: And and I said, Look, I said, I said, look, even non-Christians, and if their son was even accused of half of what I was accused of, they would still support their own freaking flesh and blood and want them to be in their you know, think about this.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_03: The only fathers or mothers for that matter that are fighting for their children, generally speaking, aren't abusive.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_03: If you're abusive, and and actually I don't have lots of scientific notions on this, but my brain thinks logically, if you're abusive, you're not gonna fight to be abusive, you'll just go find an easier prey, right?
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's what I would think, right?
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: Why would I give up everything?
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_03: I've lost everything.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm practically homeless, couch surfing, and I own a home three blocks from here, but I can't even legally be in it.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_03: She hasn't been in it, she abandoned it, and nobody cares.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_03: So my own flesh and blood, but then when you read the Bible and you look at Joseph and uh his brothers and David, even and and their parents and families, they all were, you know, basically disowned and ridiculed and all that.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_03: But it has been so much for me to mentally like what I've literally said out loud several times is I'm just glad I don't have to lie that I have loving family anymore.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the the stories I could tell you from having to live, having to stay out in a garage my entire life, we were only allowed in after dinner, took a shower, and went to bed.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's the only times we were allowed in our house.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: We were never allowed there.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_03: If anyone else, if if mom or dad were gone, we were never allowed in the house.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: Or the fact that at 18 I was basically kicked out, or the fact that growing up, there would be times where I'd spend half the summer inside writing 6,000 plus sentences because I didn't do whatever I didn't do, right?
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_03: Because I was a a teenage boy that was a normal crazy teenage boy would be, right?
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_03: But I, you know, it's not like I, you know, I didn't cops were never called, nobody was ever anything, you know.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_03: There was it was just normal stuff, but because she couldn't control me, she was happy to make me write six thousand sentences.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_03: We would literally live in the garage.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_03: I begged them during Christmas time.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_03: I would try to have my parents come out.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_03: So, so we're in court.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I'm changing subjects here a little bit.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_03: We were in court and my mother went on the stand to go against me.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_03: And one of my things I said is, I'm being accused of all these things.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_03: Did you witness any of these things?
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, you know, did you witness any of these things?
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_03: She goes, Well, you just weren't a great dad, or whatever the right words were.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I was hoping she would have said yes, I witnessed them.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_03: Of course she didn't, because there was nothing.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_03: But if she had said yes, then my next call, my next question was going to be, Well, why didn't you call the cops if I was abusive?
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_03: So she but she didn't, because there wasn't any.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_03: Did the cops ever call during your marriage?
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_03: Not once.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_03: No, not once.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I brought that up, you know, because she claimed uh there were two different instances she claimed.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_03: Remember, in the in the in the in the paperwork, she never said I had physically abused her.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, she said I didn't, but then under the stand, she said I did, and like I pushed her, and like she had to lock herself in a door, but then she was talking about one time in the kitchen and then one time in there, and then a different time, and like just chaos and confusion.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_03: So then my own freaking mother goes on the stand and goes, No, but but there was one time when when we were at at a store and my and and I've never told you this, but but your daughter uh knocked something over and you didn't respond or pay for it or whatever.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I just paid for it.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_03: I never told you, and I thought that wasn't good.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, this is what you're literally trying to blame me as being abusive or something.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_03: So all that to say basically, I the thing I have been thankful for is because I always begged them to come over for Christmases, and they actually would never get anything for me, but I was happy because they get everything for everybody else.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_03: But I was I'm thankful I don't have to lie anymore and pretend that I have good parents.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_03: And and and and I've seen this meme before, whatever.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_03: Our lies are different.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_03: I lied pretending you were a good person, you lied pretending I'm a bad person.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_03: We're different.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't have to pretend anymore that I had good loving parents.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think they did their best, but I think they're severely broken individuals that my mom wears the pants and the and the um relationship, and of course, my dad didn't have a father role model to see how a father should be, and so he allowed her, and and he's admitted many times if if he didn't allow my mother to take over and control everything, he knew they would get in a divorce.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_03: So he'd rather submit to her than be the man of the house, and this is now I'm the next generation paying for it.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_03: My children are paying for it.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_03: I have the last time I spoke to my parents, I said the following when I found out they had paid for everything.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_03: I said, history will not be kind to you.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_03: I will see my children again.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_03: History will not be kind to you, and that's where I left it.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I've um I've I've um I've very much at times felt like an orphan where I always say, for me, the hardest thing was, Lord, you've always had my back.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_03: Despite the fact that my parents, my parents are fairly wealthy.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, shoot, they had$100,000 to spend against me and and five grand a month rental or whatever it was,$3,500, whatever it was.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_03: They've had a lot of money to spend against me.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_03: They're fairly wealthy.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_03: And yet I had no, I had very small support after I um after I left the house.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_03: They didn't help me buy the house, they didn't help me, and I was always very proud of the fact that Lord, even when my parents have literally never been there to help me.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_03: And by the way, anytime my parents did every now and then help me, they'd always say, You're so ungrateful.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_03: If I ever voiced like frustration or like I don't understand, it was, oh, you're just ungrateful.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_03: That was her their most favorite way to shut us up.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_03: So I stopped voicing it.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_03: So I always said, Lord, even though um my parents have never been there, you still bless me.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's miraculous that I was able to buy a home.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_03: Miraculous that I work in the film world and have had somewhat success and just watching things happen.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_03: And so I always knew God had my back, even though my parents, there's a Bible verse that says, Who of ye would ask your parents for a fish and they would give a stone?
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_03: I always in my heart raised my hand every time I heard that voice said, I would.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_03: My parents would give me a stone instead of giving me a fish, they'd be happy to.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_03: And so it was hard for me when quote unquote this evil was allowed upon me and God wasn't there to protect me and my miraculous house.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_03: I live in California.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_03: I bought in 2019.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_03: My my mortgage was$2,000, was less than$2,000 a month.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_03: That is unheard of 2,000 square foot house, California.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's nothing short of a miracle.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_03: I have a miracle God that and uh he's given me a very smart brain how to make that's why I'm a good producer.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: Or I could make 10 penny turn into 10 cents, and I just fan blessed with that.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: So it was hard when I watched God take the blessings that I've been given and literally watched them because of accusations be stolen and everything taken from me.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_03: And so that's been my last two-year journey is Lord, are you for me or are you against me?
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_03: And if he's not for me, if I can't trust him, like that destroys my entire identity of a human.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I've come a long ways, and that could be another podcast for another day.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_03: And obviously, God is still for us.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_03: This is Satan's domain.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_03: My ex had 17 years of choosing to follow God or not.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_03: And because of free will, she's made her choices.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_03: And because it is Satan's domain, my opinion is Satan gets first move, but he's playing checkers, and Jesus is playing chess, and he's already three steps down the line, and he will use what's evil has happened for us for our good.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_03: But it was, it's, it's a um when your own parents and your wife and and all these things, and of course, we're not even discussing yet all the emotional turmoil that has happened to me, not having my children being kicked out of my house, having a wife accusing me of rape, and then um spending every last penny and then having it stolen from me, and then trying to figure out um how I'm going to just survive today and still child support.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_03: And in some states, I don't think it's California, but in some states, if you don't pay child support, you can go to jail.
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so there's a threat of jail because I wasn't ever 100% clear.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_03: And if I accidentally said this, then am I am I um am I um in in uh am I not following the restraining order and in uh whatever the right word is against the restraining order, and I'll go to jail, like so much fear and pain, and then working 12 10, eight to ten hours a day, and then because I'm I don't I uh you know because I I can't afford anything, it was literally pay for my lawyer, pay for child support.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_03: And um the lawyer, you know, it what's the point when a judge can do whatever they want?
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_01: And what they do from I've talked to other people is that the very first thing that they do is they sit down and basically look over your entire finances, and so they know how much they can get.
• 1:08:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what people like I've learned this from just talking to various um men that have been and dads and husbands that have been in your situation.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people think like family court is just like any other court, like, oh, there's probably gonna be a jury, and at some point there will be a verdict, and then it's over.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not the case, it can go on for years.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have a friend who it's been going on for six years right now, and it's because the state makes money off of it.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people just don't understand that.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think they think that, oh, well, there's still justice, there's still your lawyer defends you, and their voy lawyer fights against you.
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is there's this very wicked, twisted system that is in place where it's all about money, greed, power.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_01: They do not care about the children, they do not care about the well-being of the kids.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they don't care if they're tossed around to and fro in terms of visitation or they can see their dad, they can see their mom, or whatever it is.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think a lot of people just are just completely unaware.
• 1:09:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think uh I used to always think when I heard people that went through the divorce, I in my head, I was like, oh, you probably have a set trial, you have a trial, and then it's decided right then and there, and that's it.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_01: But no, they purposely allow it to go on through mediation, and as long as they can drag it out, and uh another thing, and you can maybe um add to this if you like, the other thing that's sad that I think people don't understand is that whichever parent like basically runs out of money, it's over, it's it's checkmate.
• 1:09:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so even if you did everything right, you're not an abusive father, you haven't done anything wrong, and let's say there was no accusations against you.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you stop paying, pretty much like it's it's done, and they will just say, like, oh, well, then that's it.
• 1:10:07
  SPEAKER_01: You you are not fit to be a parent.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um, there's very, very little like father rights in the family court system, and for our listeners to just, you know, do their own research as well to look into that.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I I definitely want to like uh you know, like you were kind of like uh mentioning some of the things that you know, like personally, what are some things that you could share with our listeners, you know, um on either side, you know, either side of the spouse, you know, you know, wives or husbands that might be going through this type of situation.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Where has God brought you so far to this point?
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because if I understand you're still in the midst of it, it's not completely over, correct?
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_03: I'm legally single, but the custody um is at this point, maybe it's finished, but the assets are technically the house still has to be a little bit up old and all that.
• 1:11:01
  SPEAKER_03: And uh of course the lawyer lied and said, I'm not capable of selling the house and I might ruin it.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I actually had someone interested in buying it, and now because of the the the program I bought the house through, uh they didn't know what they were doing, and so because of their continued uh I think we're about eight months delayed now, um, the house is probably gonna get lost.
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_03: I begged the judge to take the child support money I'd been paying that was more than enough to cover the house mortgage for her to to for the judge to force or enforce or make an order for her to pay for the house, and the judge said, No, I'm not going to.
• 1:11:37
  SPEAKER_01: So the child support that you were giving her, which is supposed to be basically like both your house both your house, and that's supposed to be where the kids live, but the kids aren't living there because she's living in a rental right now.
• 1:11:49
  SPEAKER_03: She was in a rental, but she was legally allowed to kidnap the children back to Germany in July.
• 1:11:53
  SPEAKER_01: So she's in Germany right now, currently.
• 1:11:55
  SPEAKER_01: I see.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_03: And um so you were asking about the the the divorce stuff, and I I would say um it's been a really fascinating.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was even praying about what do I share today, and um when you've had everything taken from you, my house, my children, my wife, um, my job opportunities because I had to just go get any job.
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um she sh there were orders where she wasn't supposed to throw my stuff away, and she did.
• 1:12:30
  SPEAKER_03: But that's another contempt of court and uh nobody cares.
• 1:12:34
  SPEAKER_03: All of my possessions.
• 1:12:36
  SPEAKER_03: I had um everything I had was taken, all my memories.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_03: I have a little bit in a storage room, whatever I could find that she didn't throw away, but she threw away 90% of it all.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um thankfully, because she was leaving for Germany she didn't care about most of the pictures, so I was able to collect some of those.
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_03: But your brain uh the best way I can explain is PTSD, and I'm I'm only half here.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's just literally when you have too much happening to you at once, you your brain stops processing and functioning, and you just go into fog.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I've been in fog for a year and a half or two years.
• 1:13:16
  SPEAKER_03: And it's it's the same thought of look, I've I've sacrificed and done everything for my children, yet my children are being told I can only imagine that they're being told see your dad doesn't love you, doesn't want to come visit you, and he doesn't ever call or any of these things.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, they don't know it's because mom's keeping them from me.
• 1:13:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not a husband or a woman thing, it seems like it's a little bit more man bias, um, because usually the men are the breadwinners or the higher income, and it's really a higher income bias.
• 1:13:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and there are plenty of women that have been mistreated and taken advantage of.
• 1:13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but um it's an abuser and a victim.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_03: The victims are the ones that are willing to follow the court and are willing to play fair, and the abusers are the ones that will take and twist and turn and accuse and use anything they can to their advantage, and the legal system is very good, it's very easy to twit to take and twist.
• 1:14:15
  SPEAKER_03: And remember, conflict is the money machine.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_03: Without conflicts, there is no need for court, so it only affects those that are in conflict.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_03: And when you have human beings that are willing to destroy their other human being at any point, any cost, then the courts are happy to say yes because they get a portion of all that.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, men are are dramatically affected, and so about 70 per 60 plus percent of my um my income goes to uh them, and the and the what's left over is just simply not enough to live.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why I'm literally homeless, even though I have a house four blocks or four miles, whatever it is from here, uh, empty.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_03: I could be sleeping it every night instead of sleeping my car or when lucky at a friend's sofa or whatever have you.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's just disgusting and it's nationwide epidemic.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_01: But of course, I would suggest you to squat in it because of California squatter laws, but the problem is the restraining order, you would be right.
• 1:15:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'd go to jail.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
• 1:15:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is, and and like your own house, you can't go in, even though she's not using it.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, doesn't care.
• 1:15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:15:30
  SPEAKER_01: She she's destroyed the house too.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_03: She, I I thankfully I took a bunch of pictures.
• 1:15:35
  SPEAKER_03: I I enjoy taking pictures and I've just gotten good at it.
• 1:15:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I take pictures on the last day I was in the house, and the when I was given like a week and a half to get all my stuff out, which just was not enough time.
• 1:15:46
  SPEAKER_03: I begged the courts for more time.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_03: They said no.
• 1:15:48
  SPEAKER_03: And then the the the other lawyers, like, oh, I'll give you more time.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_03: But since he's not the judge, I wasn't willing to do it.
• 1:15:55
  SPEAKER_03: And they, in fact, they begged me to come back to get the rest of my stuff because otherwise they're gonna have to hire someone to throw it all away.
• 1:16:00
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted to get my stuff, but I didn't have time.
• 1:16:03
  SPEAKER_03: I did not feel like going back through the court system.
• 1:16:05
  SPEAKER_03: And where am I gonna store it?
• 1:16:07
  SPEAKER_03: My storage unit was practically full already, so like it's just they're happy to screw you over.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_03: And the lawyer, as they're as her lawyer, as she's saying, like, you have$200,000, you make all this, knows the truth, knows that all you have to do is lie about the unprofessional supervisor.
• 1:16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Now I'm forced$300 every time to see my children, and when I can't, that$300, I made like$450 every week.
• 1:16:29
  SPEAKER_03: So it's either see my kids for two hours or eat or sleep or whatever other bills I have to pay.
• 1:16:35
  SPEAKER_03: And they the lawyer knows this, they know they can bleed me dry.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody is complicit.
• 1:16:40
  SPEAKER_03: The lawyer, the judge, they all know the what they're doing.
• 1:16:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's disgusting, it's evil, and I'm too stubborn and stupid to give up.
• 1:16:49
  SPEAKER_03: There have been on my good days.
• 1:16:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um you're hitting me on a good day.
• 1:16:53
  SPEAKER_03: My low days, I'll cry for hours and hours, and I'm exhausted.
• 1:16:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm tired of crying.
• 1:16:57
  SPEAKER_03: But I've seen the evil with my own two eyes.
• 1:17:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I had a prophecy that I'm breaking a generational curse.
• 1:17:04
  SPEAKER_03: And if I have to, I've had multiple health problems.
• 1:17:07
  SPEAKER_03: I've lost vision in the left eye.
• 1:17:08
  SPEAKER_03: It was cataract.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_03: I had to have surgery.
• 1:17:11
  SPEAKER_03: They said, yes, stress could easily be the reason for it.
• 1:17:13
  SPEAKER_03: I've had uh several other health issues I'm still dealing with on a daily basis because of all the stress, but I'm exhausted.
• 1:17:20
  SPEAKER_03: I work and then have to do court stuff, and I mean thousands of pages, no one teaches you how to do this, and you never fully understand the law.
• 1:17:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's so ill-written, and anyone, it's just all of it is crazy.
• 1:17:33
  SPEAKER_03: But all that to say, if me as a human can sacrifice everything for their children, even though the other parent is saying, we don't, you see, here's the evidence, you're not loved, and yet I've done everything other than give my life for my children, then how much more is our God in heaven?
• 1:17:54
  SPEAKER_03: I've even blamed God for all this.
• 1:17:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, you weren't there to protect me.
• 1:18:00
  SPEAKER_03: And yet I'm literally, my children are seeing and sensing, Dad, you're not there for me.
• 1:18:06
  SPEAKER_03: And mom has um unfortunately poisoned my oldest, who's now poisoned all the others, said, See, dad is abusive and all these things.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_03: And actually, it's funny because my son that I my older son that I kind of butted heads with a little bit on the soccer field, and I was just, you know, normal dad stuff of trying to encourage him, and he didn't like it, and you know, all the stuff.
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_03: And he's the one I have the closest relationship with right now, although I have no relationship since they left for Germany.
• 1:18:31
  SPEAKER_03: I don't see anyone, but he's the only one that said, Dad, they would all talk bad about you, and I just didn't understand it and hurt me, and but I still wanted to see you.
• 1:18:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Son, just know I love you.
• 1:18:40
  SPEAKER_03: But he I'm having that relationship with my son where he's just hearing I'm evil, all these things, and yeah, there's evidence because I don't even see him.
• 1:18:51
  SPEAKER_03: And yet it's the same thing with God, it's the exact same thing with God.
• 1:18:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm blaming God, but it's Satan.
• 1:18:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so I've had just these thoughts.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I shared with you a little bit before, I'm on all these um single parent or single father uh uh groups and narcissist groups and all these things, and sadly, once a week that the one posted showed you had like four, two people with four different people they each knew that had killed themselves.
• 1:19:19
  SPEAKER_03: And unfortunately, it's an epidemic of suicide happening.
• 1:19:24
  SPEAKER_03: I actually I almost texted you today, it happened again.
• 1:19:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it happens weekly.
• 1:19:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, of of of parents that have been abused by the system.
• 1:19:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because again, the abuser takes full advantages and cheats, and the innocent is the one that tries to follow the letter to the T and gets steamroil rolled.
• 1:19:45
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm literally trying just to survive every day.
• 1:19:49
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I work my tail off and it all goes child support, and then I'm fighting a lawyer and a judge that are keeping in mind they're the only ones getting paid in there, and I'm not, as well as trying to hustle and figure out where I'm gonna sleep and and what our next career opportunities, and it's just way too much.
• 1:20:07
  SPEAKER_03: So your brain just goes into a fog and you just try to survive.
• 1:20:11
  SPEAKER_03: And um as we talked before, unfortunately, very few people can fully understand the hell that I've been put through.
• 1:20:20
  SPEAKER_03: And unfortunately, we're so encouraged to stay far away from divorce because it is evil and disgusting and it does tear flesh and all the things, but we have no understanding of okay, when it does happen, what you should do, and none of this is legal advice, it's merely my experience.
• 1:20:40
  SPEAKER_03: But you the first thing you do is research your judge, and if it's a bad judge, you immediately ask for a recusal, but you do some searches on your judge, but then also, you know, a lawyer, if you can get your emotions in check, which is still very hard for me.
• 1:20:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've just been so destroyed.
• 1:20:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like I have this so much anxiety and triggers now of wondering what's going to happen next.
• 1:21:05
  SPEAKER_03: And am I going to jail?
• 1:21:07
  SPEAKER_03: I have just so many unfounded triggers because of things that have been lied and said about me and nobody cares.
• 1:21:13
  SPEAKER_03: I'm literally waiting for a phone call of you've done something wrong, which I wouldn't even know what it is.
• 1:21:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like I wouldn't even talk to my neighbors because I was worried that if I said, Yeah, and I love my kids, that maybe they would the neighbors would accidentally say, Oh, your your your your dad said that he loves you.
• 1:21:30
  SPEAKER_03: And that's tech I I think I don't even technically know, but that could be considered breaking the restraining order.
• 1:21:37
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just the the amount of trigger and trauma I've had, I can't even explain, and I don't try to uh for the first year and a half, I wouldn't even talk about any of this stuff because I was processing maybe I am an abuser, maybe I am narcissistic, maybe I am guilty of all these things, maybe I did rape my wife and like all these different things that you just don't even know how to comprehend.
• 1:22:02
  SPEAKER_01: How are these you start to doubt like who you are as a person?
• 1:22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what happens?
• 1:22:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's almost like once you you've gone through that too, you also almost kind of like relearn kind of like who you are.
• 1:22:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's and like almost like you need other people to kind of help you along the way as well to kind of like remind you of who you are, because you've been your mind screwed pretty much.
• 1:22:26
  SPEAKER_03: Your identity and your foundation is destroyed, and that's that's what they want.
• 1:22:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's what evil wants is your identity in Christ and your foundation destroyed.
• 1:22:36
  SPEAKER_03: So it would, I would like, because it was so illogical, everything that was done against me, and because I didn't feel like I had any good logical answers, like I couldn't explain it because people would ask great logical questions.
• 1:22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't understand your parents, yeah, me neither, but how do you explain that?
• 1:22:52
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you have loving parents, it's almost impossible to explain.
• 1:22:56
  SPEAKER_03: And well, I it wait, but your wife accused you of rape, and I mean, yeah, you probably didn't rape her, but I'm sure there's some um some truth to that.
• 1:23:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I know that's where my brain would go.
• 1:23:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, zero truth, and yet it's just allowed and it's accepted, and restraining orders are put out.
• 1:23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Now, again, thank God I had the thought of mind in that moment to force my lawyer to ask the judge, please.
• 1:23:24
  SPEAKER_03: We notice you left that out of your order, and why is that?
• 1:23:28
  SPEAKER_03: Which we knew would meant that she didn't believe it, but we wanted it on paperwork because we knew my ex would just say, see, I got the restraining order, see, she did rape me, right?
• 1:23:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's the the illogical dots that she would conclude.
• 1:23:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I wanted in the legal public records, no, I didn't believe the rape, right?
• 1:23:46
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, praying one day my children will want to seek the truth.
• 1:23:51
  SPEAKER_01: So it's um so where all that is right now, that's kind of like so.
• 1:23:57
  SPEAKER_01: She's in Germany um currently with the kids, correct?
• 1:24:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's where they're I have no idea about them.
• 1:24:05
  SPEAKER_03: I can't talk to them, I can't communicate with them, I don't know where they are, I don't know if they're safe.
• 1:24:09
  SPEAKER_03: I even brought up the fact of some different unsafe things there in Germany, and the judge dismissed them, um, and that my children wanted to stay in the US and wanted to stay with their dad, and the judge dismissed it.
• 1:24:22
  SPEAKER_03: So my assumption is yes, they're in Germany, and that's all I know.
• 1:24:28
  SPEAKER_03: Haven't talked or spoken since July.
• 1:24:31
  SPEAKER_01: July of this year.
• 1:24:35
  SPEAKER_01: What are some um encouraging words that we can, you know, close out, just like for people that are going through the same situation?
• 1:24:46
  SPEAKER_01: What are some words that you think would be um hopefully like give some sense of peace, comfort, um, just some strength or some things that you think you would like to share?
• 1:25:00
  SPEAKER_03: Well, the story's not over.
• 1:25:03
  SPEAKER_03: It always gets darkest before the dawn.
• 1:25:08
  SPEAKER_03: All we need is enough strength, hope to get through today.
• 1:25:11
  SPEAKER_03: We don't need tomorrow.
• 1:25:14
  SPEAKER_03: God has been through everything we have been through.
• 1:25:17
  SPEAKER_03: He is still there, he is still good, he does still love us.
• 1:25:22
  SPEAKER_03: I don't understand why this was allowed to happen.
• 1:25:25
  SPEAKER_03: But my eyes have been opened to an evil I had no idea existed.
• 1:25:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm too dang stupid and stubborn, and I will never be able to give up, and I will be a warrior in this world.
• 1:25:40
  SPEAKER_03: I've already started creating some apps and putting some infrastructure together to help those that have been put through hell and back as I have been to keep accountable the judges and the lawyers that have been able to do this for far too long.
• 1:25:57
  SPEAKER_03: And we are coming after evil.
• 1:26:00
  SPEAKER_03: And if it can happen to me, a father who w who who was excited to have a stay-at-home mom, we didn't have it easy.
• 1:26:10
  SPEAKER_03: We lived in California, but we had it good.
• 1:26:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I when when when all this went finally down, I realized she had divorced me in her heart a long time ago.
• 1:26:19
  SPEAKER_03: So that was at least a little bit easier for to me move on.
• 1:26:24
  SPEAKER_03: But I've had a master's and a PhD in being my own legal representation, my own master's and PhD, and um understanding the evil and the atrocities that are hidden in the dark in uh family law, in child protective services, unfortunately.
• 1:26:41
  SPEAKER_03: They could just take your kids for any reason.
• 1:26:45
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I'm being blessed as one of those that will be an answer to the darkness with light.
• 1:26:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I have a PhD in in understanding love and really breaking down if you don't love yourself, then it is almost impossible for you to love others.
• 1:27:04
  SPEAKER_03: You don't love yourself, you're not in a freedom, and you don't allow freedom for error for others, and so you have this more controlling kind of what they call narcissistic thing about you because you just don't love yourself, and so if we're not in love and freedom, then we're in pain and darkness, and hurt people hurt other people.
• 1:27:26
  SPEAKER_03: The Bible says to pray for your enemies.
• 1:27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I promise you I have enemies, real sworn enemies, and on my good days I do pray for them.
• 1:27:37
  SPEAKER_03: The Lord gave me Ezekiel 36, 26.
• 1:27:39
  SPEAKER_03: The entire chapter of Ezekiel 36 is incredible about restoration and giving back.
• 1:27:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's the chapter before the valley of the dead bones in Ezekiel 37, but Ezekiel 36, 26 says Take your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh, and put my spirit in you.
• 1:27:56
  SPEAKER_03: And all my good days, that's what I pray for my wife.
• 1:28:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um I kept praying for miracles in the courtroom.
• 1:28:04
  SPEAKER_03: I thought I had one with pleading the fifth.
• 1:28:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was really stoked on that one.
• 1:28:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um but I've always been crazy enough, say, Lord, not my will, but your will be done.
• 1:28:15
  SPEAKER_03: And kings and those that are advancing the kingdom should expect war.
• 1:28:23
  SPEAKER_03: There's multiple layers of life.
• 1:28:25
  SPEAKER_03: There's those that are just trying to survive.
• 1:28:28
  SPEAKER_03: There are those that are and and they don't they don't really have a whole lot of complexity or depth to their life.
• 1:28:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's very superficial and they don't feel the love of each other.
• 1:28:41
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen many people that embed themselves into work because they don't have a great home.
• 1:28:46
  SPEAKER_03: And um, then there's those that are trying to not only just survive and thrive, but also advance agendas, whether that's Christian Jesus or whatever it is, you know, loving the lost or the poor or whatever it is.
• 1:29:00
  SPEAKER_03: And if you want to advance one of God's kingdoms, you have to expect war.
• 1:29:06
  SPEAKER_03: And so if we want to live peaceful, huh?
• 1:29:10
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 1:29:10
  SPEAKER_03: If we want to live peaceful, like kings do not have an easy life.
• 1:29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Kings are often away from their queens and their children, they're on the battlefield.
• 1:29:21
  SPEAKER_03: The peasants and the the normal everyday people are ones that just mill about and have a peaceful, easy life.
• 1:29:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I've, you know, like so many others, I said, Why me?
• 1:29:33
  SPEAKER_03: And it's because I'm a warrior, and because if I'm to advance the kingdom like has always been my heart's prayer, then I should expect pain and war.
• 1:29:45
  SPEAKER_03: Because when you read the Bible, it's crazy how I've just perceived so many things so differently, and how perception is so important as we're doing all this, and to be to be asking ourselves, is that an accusation or is there truth?
• 1:30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Is that an assumption or is it based off of truth?
• 1:30:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like for today, even an example.
• 1:30:05
  SPEAKER_03: I was at the gym earlier today, and there was a guy swimming overweight, and uh ended up I knew his older brother at some point.
• 1:30:11
  SPEAKER_03: I found that out.
• 1:30:12
  SPEAKER_03: And he goes, Yeah, I just the first thing he asked me is, Is the pool cold?
• 1:30:16
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Well, it's not hot, but it's not cold.
• 1:30:18
  SPEAKER_03: And he, you know, he's there to work out.
• 1:30:20
  SPEAKER_03: His goal was to work out, and he goes, Yeah, I just I forgot my goggles.
• 1:30:24
  SPEAKER_03: So I went out and bought some new goggles, just you know,$20 cheap pair, but they're so uncomfortable.
• 1:30:29
  SPEAKER_03: And uh he says, and then I forgot my towel, and I'm just so upset by myself.
• 1:30:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Good for you for not allowing these excuses to be the reason for you chickening out and not doing your intended goal.
• 1:30:45
  SPEAKER_03: And I would say, look, if you could find one conversation or one sentence or one word to one person today to speak life and to them rather than to speak death, you are starting to win.
• 1:31:04
  SPEAKER_03: And we will change the gospel.
• 1:31:05
  SPEAKER_03: We always speak in truth, but we do it with love.
• 1:31:08
  SPEAKER_03: Without love, it is pointless.
• 1:31:10
  SPEAKER_03: The other thing I'm learning is what does it mean to be broken?
• 1:31:13
  SPEAKER_03: We're all broken.
• 1:31:14
  SPEAKER_03: What was hard for me about being broken is Lord, none of this was my own doing.
• 1:31:19
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't do drugs, I didn't have sex before marriage, I didn't do all these things.
• 1:31:24
  SPEAKER_03: Am I a perfect human being?
• 1:31:25
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 1:31:26
  SPEAKER_03: Did I do some kind of evil that I missed that I'm now deserving the fruit of my labors?
• 1:31:31
  SPEAKER_03: Because I thought that for the longest time.
• 1:31:33
  SPEAKER_03: I thought maybe I had the secret, whatever.
• 1:31:35
  SPEAKER_03: Again, I'm not a perfect human being by any means, but my heart is after God.
• 1:31:39
  SPEAKER_03: And when you read the Bible, as we've had discussions before, it's full of broken people.
• 1:31:45
  SPEAKER_03: David was the center of all sinners.
• 1:31:47
  SPEAKER_03: Paul was a sinner of all sinners.
• 1:31:49
  SPEAKER_03: It was hard for me though, because I didn't do any, I didn't deserve any of this, and I'm a justice warrior, and I didn't deserve any of this, and yet everything has been stolen from me.
• 1:32:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, God, why you just don't understand.
• 1:32:05
  SPEAKER_03: You haven't had your children taken from he goes, Oh, have I?
• 1:32:09
  SPEAKER_03: You mean when my son was taken to the cross and he kept his mouth shut on his accusations and was killed?
• 1:32:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I go, Well, you got a good point there.
• 1:32:16
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you do get it.
• 1:32:18
  SPEAKER_03: But uh at the end of the day, what does it mean to be broken and to be okay in my brokenness?
• 1:32:26
  SPEAKER_03: And when you're in the ER, things that are illegal anywhere else in the world are legal in the ER.
• 1:32:33
  SPEAKER_03: So give yourself lots of grace to do and be what you need.
• 1:32:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying go against the Lord or anything, but there's a lot of grace in there in your brokenness.
• 1:32:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I was very thankful when I found the therapist that that was able to explain that all to me.
• 1:32:48
  SPEAKER_03: So, what does it mean to be broken?
• 1:32:50
  SPEAKER_03: And Lord, what is my part and your part?
• 1:32:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a challenge for me to go, okay, Lord, I know you're good, but this doesn't feel good.
• 1:32:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm trusting, but it's like there are days where I go, I I probably go to bed almost every night going, God, I don't think I can do it again tomorrow.
• 1:33:07
  SPEAKER_03: God, why?
• 1:33:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like almost like like there have been days where I've said, God, I can't do it again.
• 1:33:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how much more?
• 1:33:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's really the prayer.
• 1:33:17
  SPEAKER_02: How much more do you expect from me?
• 1:33:20
  SPEAKER_02: And um we just need enough for today.
• 1:33:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um and it's just it's just one of those things of um God, you know, you're you're you are good, but we are in a broken world that desperately needs you.
• 1:33:43
  SPEAKER_03: And and broken people.
• 1:33:48
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of broken people, I think.
• 1:33:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we were talking about this a little bit earlier.
• 1:33:54
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of broken people that um, or there are a lot of Christians that are evil, and there's a good chance, it's very sad, that there's a good chance there's a lot of Christians that won't be in heaven.
• 1:34:04
  SPEAKER_03: We've talked about the in the previous conversations of the Lord, Lord, but I did all these things in your name, and he says I never knew you.
• 1:34:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's the most terrifying verse.
• 1:34:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I think there might be a lot of broken people that might end up in heaven that we never expected.
• 1:34:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I think my abilities to have compassion for brokenness, my abilities to see into the soul of what's going on and not just judge a fruit, but to speak into life, into the soul of what's going on, and to speak life back into where dry bones are, have changed.
• 1:34:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've it's the weirdest mind, forgive my language, mind fuck to come to a place where I'm okay with not seeing my children ever again and learning what that means, and just saying those words and having that peace destroys you inside because it's like, no, I never want to feel peaceful, not having my children in my life.
• 1:35:03
  SPEAKER_02: But also knowing you have to, and knowing it's all based off of lies and evil, and knowing it's not fair.
• 1:35:14
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so so you just take it for today, and I have my good days and I have my bad days, and I'm just trying to survive today, and I'm trying to do a little bit more than that, but I God always has known my prayer's always been Lord, not my will, but your will be done.
• 1:35:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I've I've experienced a lot of freaking crazy miracles, and I expect to experience, but I was scared to dream anymore.
• 1:35:36
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, God, how much more are you gonna take and hurt me, allow me to be hurt?
• 1:35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because I got I just don't got a whole lot more in me.
• 1:35:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I've also had enough.
• 1:35:46
  SPEAKER_03: And some of us some of us have more hell to pay because he knows we can handle it.
• 1:35:54
  SPEAKER_03: And and I was thinking about the gym today.
• 1:35:56
  SPEAKER_03: I do mostly swimming and um biceps, curls, and um um push-ups, and it is incredible after eight months.
• 1:36:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't feel it, but it's incredible how much stronger I've gotten, and you can slowly see the difference, and it's pretty phenomenal.
• 1:36:16
  SPEAKER_03: And as much as I've been beaten and worn down, it's incredible how much strength I have.
• 1:36:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's literally nothing you can do to me.
• 1:36:29
  SPEAKER_03: I've had everything taken from me.
• 1:36:31
  SPEAKER_03: The best thing you can do is kill me.
• 1:36:32
  SPEAKER_03: Great, I don't have to live in this hellhole anymore.
• 1:36:35
  SPEAKER_03: There's literally nothing you can do to me.
• 1:36:39
  SPEAKER_03: I have no fear.
• 1:36:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it's just one of those things of like just I'm still working on the emotional just trauma.
• 1:36:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's one prayer I have is the strength for the day and the emotional trauma.
• 1:36:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm I'm pretty dang exhausted from life.
• 1:36:57
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, when you don't always get great sleep and other things, it's it really puts tear on toll on you.
• 1:37:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but uh my dreams are creating a foundation with lawyers and a media component because I'm a storyteller of finding the worst of the worst of judges and lawyers and just doing a drip legally and uh as a storyteller per media until they give up and exposing the evil.
• 1:37:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so that's where I'm at is I want to become that helping hand that I was never given.
• 1:37:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, similar to like a Jay Secula, if you ever know them and what they've been doing in the Fourth Amendment, great work.
• 1:37:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so that's that's uh the prayer I have, and I that's now become part of my mission as I continue uh my journey.
• 1:37:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing, man.
• 1:37:48
  SPEAKER_01: And uh again, I know this is a lot, it's a lot to unpack.
• 1:37:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I know uh my my prayer and hope is that you know you're just gonna be one of of many to just tell their stories because um this is uh something that is happening all over the place, nationwide.
• 1:38:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:38:11
  SPEAKER_01: And um this is about saving marriage.
• 1:38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh if if the church is should be the first offense with these things, but sadly the the church has really dropped the ball and has basically um has actually I would say been more of a hindrance uh in these situations.
• 1:38:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I uh it's just it's it's heart-wrenching like what you have gone through.
• 1:38:39
  SPEAKER_01: And and I've talked to other guys that have gone through the exact same thing.
• 1:38:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also it's sad because it's one of those things like unless you've gone through it, it's very difficult to try to understand because like I'm sure there's gonna be some people that have heard your story, even those that have listened, that they're gonna be like, it can't be that bad, is it?
• 1:38:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, it really is.
• 1:38:59
  SPEAKER_03: It really is impossible to believe if it hadn't happened to me.
• 1:39:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and and I've been on one other podcast and there were thousands of comments.
• 1:39:08
  SPEAKER_03: My story got 250,000 views, and there were thousands of comments of, well, there must be something else.
• 1:39:13
  SPEAKER_03: Bro, I have all the receipts, read all the recourt reports.
• 1:39:16
  SPEAKER_03: I've got literally hours you could sit there and read every single dang thing that I'm saying that's all true.
• 1:39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:39:24
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I I think uh, like as you've said too, I think this is uh, you know, it it's it's encouraging at the same time as it's it's hard to listen to.
• 1:39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because um I think it like I like I told you the other night, you know, it's like remember that Satan has to ask permission from God, what he's gonna do.
• 1:39:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that tells you everything that you need to know in terms of like who really has the power, who really has the authority.
• 1:39:54
  SPEAKER_01: And in the mitts, uh, I think another thing I told you too is like how God doesn't take away our storms, but he sustains us to walk through them.
• 1:40:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that could be the hardest part is when you're in it, because you're kind of like, okay, when's this going to end?
• 1:40:08
  SPEAKER_01: I and I think he all we all have that breaking point too.
• 1:40:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I for guys that are listening as well, reach out to someone that can at least, you know, be there for you.
• 1:40:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sure there are other guys out there, like you showed me some text the other night, and it it's an ongoing thing.
• 1:40:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like uh for me right now, uh, it's it's almost like once a month there's just another story of like uh a husband who has lost his kids, uh, been divorced, uh lied to about uh abuse that never took place.
• 1:40:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um and they're just being uh not only emotionally bankrupt, but like spiritually, their faith is on the rocks, their money is gone, and they're just trying to just see their kids.
• 1:40:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think that's just a testament, too, that the lie of uh that uh I don't know that that men don't have like emotion or uh attachment to their kids is just an absolute lie from the pit of hell.
• 1:41:10
  SPEAKER_01: I I have seen so much courage from men that have gone through similar situations like yours that continue to fight, where I even my myself, like when they're telling me their stories, I'm like, oh, I would have snapped.
• 1:41:23
  SPEAKER_01: I would be in jail right now.
• 1:41:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why you're not in jail, you know.
• 1:41:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I think that's just a reality that you know it that especially if you have faith, and I know not everyone that's listening probably does, but uh, you know, uh to be aware too, uh, men and women, you have to be aware of what is going on out there because this will this has crept into the church and it's become like you know uh super destructive, and it's just a wrecking ball um to the family, and eventually it's gonna be just the foundation of like, you know, the church itself will just crumble from the inside out if it's never dealt with.
• 1:42:03
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's systematic and um destruction and like a few points real quick is one, um, yeah, there have been times where I'm still praying about how do I respond to my children in this moment?
• 1:42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Do I seek them out, even though that could potentially be a a um you know, against the orders, and is jail worth it and these things, but not to screw up their psyche.
• 1:42:34
  SPEAKER_03: And up to this point the answer's never been yes.
• 1:42:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because I'm looking at the long game and not the short game, and I also realized because I was a stay-at-home father, I had opportunities to be with them in a more compact time than most families do.
• 1:42:48
  SPEAKER_03: So I felt like that was a blessing from the Lord.
• 1:42:51
  SPEAKER_03: But also, I think that there is a real awakening that needs to happen in the church.
• 1:42:57
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I I would put it start with the men of we have been systematically brought down where we have allowed, um, and again, uh the word is accountability, whether it's man or woman, but I do personally believe we have been because of the feminist movement and because of women's power and whatever the right words are, uh, we we have been our our abilities and we've been afraid to call out and keeping women accountable.
• 1:43:30
  SPEAKER_03: And once there's that fear, then you know, we all kind of as guys know that we're willing to do and say whatever the women want us to do.
• 1:43:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know, there's the joke of guys are the head, but women are the neck.
• 1:43:41
  SPEAKER_03: So our head doesn't turn unless the women turn out.
• 1:43:44
  SPEAKER_03: Happy life, happy life.
• 1:43:45
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:43:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so that's technically submissive.
• 1:43:47
  SPEAKER_03: And actually, when you look at war and you look at armies, men are always submitting to their generals and to their presence.
• 1:43:53
  SPEAKER_03: So we're actually good at submitting.
• 1:43:55
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's why it calls women to submit because men actually, by default, are more submissive, even though we're also the stronger ones, right?
• 1:44:03
  SPEAKER_03: So we have to, as men, have the courage in love and in truth to call out and to keep accountable not only each other, which we're really good at each other, but also the women, right?
• 1:44:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that's a scary conversation, but a necessary because then what happens is you have women that continue to spiral and they're talking to each other.
• 1:44:24
  SPEAKER_03: And if they don't have a good group challenging them, then unfortunately you get this where they meet the right lawyer that says, just say this and this, look up silver silver silv silver bullet divorce.
• 1:44:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's a nationwide epidemic that is stealing our children and stealing the fathers.
• 1:44:43
  SPEAKER_03: Children need their fathers.
• 1:44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:44:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's all great stuff, and uh there's so much we can go on about.
• 1:44:54
  SPEAKER_01: But um, last, I just want to thank you so much.
• 1:44:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I know this is not easy.
• 1:44:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know like when uh anyone has to share their story, um, it's almost like reliving it again, um, which I know is not easy.
• 1:45:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming on and sharing what you're going through.
• 1:45:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we hope that this has been encouraging to those that have been listening, um, our our prayers with you as well.
• 1:45:22
  SPEAKER_01: Reach out to uh elders or pastors in your church.
• 1:45:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and even if you're secular, reach out to uh guys in your life that can build you up if you're going through a similar situation.
• 1:45:33
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want it to be where you're alone.
• 1:45:35
  SPEAKER_01: We I'm sure like it feels like you do have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but we don't want you to feel alone either.
• 1:45:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I think that's just honestly just what it is.
• 1:45:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's not uh I think a lot of times what happens too is it turns out that if if if men voice their concerns, it means that women's issues don't matter, and that's not the case at all.
• 1:45:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um the fact of the matter is it's just we want to be heard and understood just like anyone else does.
• 1:46:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that's the same for you on in your heart.
• 1:46:05
  SPEAKER_03: So and and please check in on your single friends and and invite them over for a dinner or to be part of something, and especially if you're married too, still like a lot of people think this idea of like, oh, you gotta be, you know, oh marry people, marry uh hang out with married people, you know.
• 1:46:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I get that, you know, it's fun with the whole double date kind of thing, but um because I used to kind of do the opposite on Valentine's Day, we would always invite single people over, you know, like when in um, you know, with my relationship, you know, past relationship.
• 1:46:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so um that's just something that I think you know the church needs to realize that uh um part of being a Christian and part of being Christ is to be inconvenienced, right?
• 1:46:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very easy to just kind of like not want that because we're so easy to feel comfortable.
• 1:46:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think God has called us to a comfortable life, I think He's called us to serve and to sacrifice.
• 1:46:58
  SPEAKER_01: So um, yeah, man, awesome.
• 1:47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Great stuff.
• 1:47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me.
• 1:47:03
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, and we appreciate all those that have been listening.
• 1:47:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our prayers go out to you as well, and um, that are possibly going through similar situations.
• 1:47:13
  SPEAKER_01: Seek out uh uh people that can build you up and uh keep not only yourself accountable, but your marriage accountable and your spouse and your wife.
• 1:47:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um find pastors that are gonna be for you and um root for you to stay together.
• 1:47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh any pastor that uh immediately goes to divorce, especially on biblical divorce, leave that church immediately.
• 1:47:36
  SPEAKER_01: Just get out of there.
• 1:47:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um it will not end well.
• 1:47:40
  SPEAKER_01: I promise you that.
• 1:47:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, with that said, thank you so much.
• 1:47:43
  SPEAKER_01: God bless, and until next time, thank you again.