Latest / Profitable Christian Business / You Might Be Chasing the Wrong Goal | Amanda VanDerHeiden

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You Might Be Chasing the Wrong Goal | Amanda VanDerHeiden · Profitable Christian Business

• 0:15
  Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Profitable Christian Business Podcast.
• 0:18
  I, of course, am your host, Doug Greathouse, and my guest today is Amanda Vanderheyden.
• 0:23
  Amanda works with Global Talent Development Solutions, GTDS for short, and has helped organizations in more than 15 countries and 12 industries get from chaos to consistent
• 0:33
  success.
• 0:34
  She just released a new book, Set Yourself Up to Excel.
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  Amanda comes at goals and habits from a secular foundation.
• 0:40
  I come at it as a Christian business owner.
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  Today we're going to talk about the same practical question for both sides.
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  How do goals, habits, and follow-through really work?
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  And where does the why come from?
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  No debates, no gotchas.
• 0:52
  Amanda, welcome.
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  Thank you for having me.
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  I'm so excited to talk about setting people up for success today.
• 0:58
  So let me let let the cat out of the bag a little bit.
• 1:02
  ~ this is the first time ever on the Prophet Christian Business Podcast where the the guest isn't a Christian.
• 1:08
  So if you're expecting, you know, anyone that has watched a lot of the podcasts, if you're expecting that surprise, right?
• 1:15
  And I Amanda and I had a conversation.
• 1:18
  ~ I usually have just full disclosure, I usually have a fit call where people come on and we have like a 15 minute conversation about whether they're a fit for the podcast.
• 1:26
  And during that conversation, Amanda and I we had a really great conversation.
• 1:30
  She told me that she's not a Christian.
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  I was like, Well, maybe this isn't the right podcast for you.
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  But then we both got to thinking about it.
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  It's I think it is refreshing to come at it from from different perspectives and and have that openness and that dialogue.
• 1:43
  So ~ I really feel good about this podcast.
• 1:47
  ~ and I'm glad to have Amanda on today.
• 1:51
  to be on and I work with people from around the world from all different backgrounds.
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  And so for me it's always how do we come together when we do have differences.
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  So it's kind of a perfect segue into our conversation.
• 2:04
  So I wanna know this, what is the most surprising place you ever stood up in front of a room and felt out of your elements?
• 2:11
  ~ okay.
• 2:12
  So for those watching, I have a white streak in my hair.
• 2:15
  It's not a statement.
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  I was born this way.
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  It's my birthmark.
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  And so right from the start, I was born different.
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  And so that has led to very interesting conversations.
• 2:27
  you can imagine.
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  My mom is very, she has like jet black hair.
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  She's tan.
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  ~ She's like much tanner than I am.
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  And
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  So she had she's very straight-laced.
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  she goes to a bar, she orders a Diet Coke, and
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  she had this child that I had two color hair, I have two color skin, and I was born in Kentucky and then raised between New York and Kentucky.
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  So fish out of water, right?
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  Like and so I have been put in it'd be hard to find one specific place because I always attracted ~ interesting folks to come up and have conversations.
• 3:06
  As a child and now as an adult, I like to joke.
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  It's like celebrity sets without the celebrity because people have come
• 3:11
  up to me and been like, I met you in a grocery store 10 years ago.
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  So I feel like I'm I always I have this way of like, I'm a chameleon, I can fit in anywhere, but I don't really belong anywhere.
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  If that makes
• 3:24
  sense.
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  So I think anywhere.
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  To answer your question, I think everywhere I've spoken, I've always been a little bit outside of, if that makes sense.
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  It it does.
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  It it it's so I love how you're just so open to have dialogue though with with because I you and I kind of discussed this pre-podcast is that's where growth happens, right?
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  You learn about other other cultures and other points of view.
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  ~ you can still be stand firm in your own values and s and accept like other points of view and other ways to look at things.
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  So ~ that's why I'm glad we're having this conversation today.
• 3:56
  Let's pivot a little bit to your book.
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  ~
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  Set up yourself up for ex up to Excel.
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  Now is that your first book?
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  How is it how what book is this for you?
• 4:08
  Goodness.
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  Okay, so technically I think this is my fourth book, but this is the first one that's like on Amaz.
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  Well, actually, the other one was on Amazon too.
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  But that one was very like ~ the green one, if you're looking on screen, Valentine Consult
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  Project Life Cycles, very in the weed specific about how what I do in corporations.
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  This is the first one that I've taken where.
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  I've taken the two decades that I've spent helping thousands of people from all over the world skill up, get better, grow, all the fun things.
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  And I've disseminated it into what does it actually take for people?
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  For when people always ask me, how do you get a hundred thousand people to make this change?
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  How do you get 10,000 people to do this?
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  And it's really boiling it down to the individual level of like, if you can't understand one person, what it takes for one person to be successful, to be set up for success, then
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  you can multiply that by 10,000.
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  hundred thousand, however many people you have to in an organization get people rowing in the same direction.
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  And I it was funny because okay, this is a little bit of a tangent, but it's not, I promise.
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  So people always ask me how do I do what I do?
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  And I'm definitely type A and I'm an overachiever.
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  But I follow a framework that we call in our sis our company we call it Framework for Excellence.
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  But I created this system after s goodness, it's been almost a decade, but
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  I live and breathe it.
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  And you have to be when you have that much going on.
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  I like to joke organizing the chaos, but you have to be really organized about how you approach it.
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  And if you have systems and processes and frameworks, it really helps you stay consistent and actually get results.
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  And so I actually created the real one.
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  ~ I used to give it out as a present to my corporate clients at the end of the year.
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  And it's this, I'll show you my monster book.
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  So this is the real one, like Excel Your Goals, and it has like all these
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  tabs.
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  It's a year-long system.
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  And it was all my clients freaked out about it.
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  Year from year, they're like, we love this.
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  You should put this out in the world.
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  And so I did it.
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  I worked with a publisher.
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  I had the ISBN.
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  It was official.
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  And it was supposed to go live January 2026.
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  So it's supposed to come out this year.
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  And it was literally the week between Christmas and New Year's.
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  And I realized, wait a second, if for me to print one copy of this, it's literally hundreds of dollars because it has
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  specialty printing and has all all this stuff.
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  I'm like, no one is gonna buy multiple hundred dollar book from me on Amazon when they don't know and they don't know why it works and why they should do it.
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  So I was lovingly called this book zero.
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  And so I had a client I had to
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  meet down in Texas for ~ January 13th.
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  And I when I wasn't in meetings for the client, I locked myself in the hotel room and I just poured out like
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  10 years of living the system and breathing the system and why it works and all the things.
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  And ~ and the book got released in May, and I'm really excited.
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  And the best part for me is that people are like, how does this have to do with your real life?
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  And I'm like, well, it is, but it's like boiling it down to so that per a person can actually do it.
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  Because I'm a big believer in putting action behind it.
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  Like, can
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  someone actually benefit from this or is it theoretical?
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  This is like, this is how you do this.
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  And so it's so it's been such a fun journey because since it's been released, I've had people talk about a wide range of spectrum.
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  ~ I one of the people that got this was my I gave it because it came out in May.
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  My daughter is in kindergarten last year.
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  And so I gave it to the kindergarten teacher because there's a picture of her in it.
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  And she the after the summer, the teacher came up to me.
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  I saw her recently and she said,
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  I just want to thank you so much because not only have I been using the book, but I've actually been reading it to my nine-year-old and my nine-year-old, I'm like, that's
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  amazing.
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  And then a few months back I heard from this other guy who was like, like all of my children are are graduating.
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  I actually gave it to them as like college graduation.
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  And and then I've got people who are retiring and like what comes next?
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  And they've been like, I've been using this to figure out when I'm gonna retire and what I'm gonna do.
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  And like, I l I love that people are taking it and using it.
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  It's like
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  ~ it's just so rewarding to me.
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  That is that is so awesome that ~ so many different stages of life ~ are are tapping into it.
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  I really want to get at to to the root and what I kind of mentioned earlier on is is the why.
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  And I'm sure you're familiar with Simon Sinek, ~ start with why, right?
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  So
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  goal setting is great, but goal setting without having a North Star, right, is probably not not even worth not not even you're not even gonna do it.
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  So t tell me your
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  Take on on the why.
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  so important.
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  I love Simon Snack.
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  The first section of this book is actually how to set a goal.
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  And you think, if I've been on this planet for a certain amount of decades, I've probably set a goal in my life before.
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  And it's true, but have you actually set the right goal?
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  And so the first part of the book is actually exercises to go through to figure out what your goal is and to understand your why.
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  Because a lot of times people have a goal that they think they should want or someone has told them to want or
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  They think, or maybe it really is a goal that they have, but it's not the one goal that's actually gonna make the biggest difference in their life.
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  And so it's getting to that root cause and really understanding what you're trying to achieve.
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  We actually have ~ a a whatever process in the book that we use that is called the five wives method.
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  And it's actually not from Science,
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  it's from the ~ creator of Toyota, actually.
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  And he goes through and he goes, ~ you ask.
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  Basically, why?
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  And I like it.
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  We we can play this game together, but ~ it's better with another person, I think, when you bounce off ideas, but you can even do this yourself.
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  So take out a pen and paper and ask yourself, what is the goal I want to accomplish?
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  Why do I want to accomplish this goal?
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  What will I achieve by accomplishing this goal?
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  And when you ask the first time, people say, I want to make a million dollars.
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  Okay, great.
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  Why do you want to make a million dollars?
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  What is that going to achieve?
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  Well,
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  I don't want to be in my job anymore.
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  And I don't want to be at this job.
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  Okay.
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  So you so maybe you want a new job.
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  Okay.
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  Why do you want a new job?
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  Well, the thing is that I'm not able to spend time with my family and I've my kids are growing up and I'm missing it.
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  Okay.
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  So you why do you want to spend time with your kids?
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  I mean, hopefully everybody wants to spend with their kids, but I only have
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  four years left until they're going off to college.
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  Whatever the case may be, right?
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  So if but just by asking why a couple of times.
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  You get to a completely different place where you start from, I want a million dollars, and all of a sudden it's I want to spend more time with my kids.
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  But do you need a million dollars to spend more time with your kids?
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  No, right?
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  And so that's why it's so important to understand your why first.
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  Because once you understand that, you will be able to easily create a plan, which is the section two section two of the book of actually creating a plan so you can get to your
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  results.
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  And I think it's so important.
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  Like for me, I know personally.
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  My kids are little and so I'm very conscious and deliberate about the time I spend with them.
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  I'm a crazy person.
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  I track my time everywhere and I know how much time I get.
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  And I think it's easy to get caught in survival mode and there's work and there's everything else that you do in a day.
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  But if you can just spend like 15 minutes of conscious, deliberate, no phones, no tech, like spend quality time, that 15 minutes is gonna be
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  all ~ the bonding, the connection that you'll actually feel like you're with your kids instead of just getting them through bathtime, book time, bedtime, as I as we so lovingly
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  refer to it in my house, the best time.
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  So
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  That is awesome.
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  And I I I love how you drill down because too many people they start with something material and sometimes they never get off that material thing.
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  And they're like, Why do I never hit my goals?
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  Because honestly, you're not as emotionally attached to that material thing as you think you are.
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  It's it's I think it's the emotion and the passion that drives you to because ~ most people that that that reach that strive for goals, there are going to be pitfalls along
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  the way.
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  There's gonna be obstacles, there's gonna be
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  obstructions that you have to get past in order to achieve that goal.
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  Growth is growth it comes through going through those obstacles, right?
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  So when you have a material object that you're you're like, it's not worth that.
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  But when it's something deep rooted within you, ~ it it makes it much more like this I have to accomplish this.
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  This is not going to slow me down.
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  Yeah, if you had to make the money in order for your kids to get the best education, you're gonna you're gonna work in a different way to get there.
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  ~ than if it's just like I wanna buy something or I I don't know, what whatever the case may be.
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  I just want the number on the page.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  ~ and I don't know if you've had the same experience, but a lot of times ~ you start off with with one goal.
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  I think it's all about a lot of times about it's about the journey and you start to evolve that goal as you go because you realize you get more clarity around what you really want
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  as you start to move forward.
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  The the the the thing is you got to start moving forward.
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  So
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  first and then you can refine.
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  And that's actually leads us to the third section of the book, which is all about how do you track and measure and iterate along the way to ensure your success or pivot when you
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  know, like, wait a second, I started this year thinking that I needed this million.
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  I'm just keeping up with the analogy, but I needed a at the beginning of the year I said I needed a million dollars.
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  Now I'm realizing, ~ I don't necessarily need a million dollars.
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  My kids' college is gonna cost.
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  A hundred thousand dollars, whatever the case may be, right?
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  And so you pivot accordingly ~ to that.
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  And that's why as you are fine as you go, but you keep that strong backbone of where you were, where you're going, where you what you've tried so far, and then how are you gonna
• 14:08
  get to your ultimate success.
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  That that is awesome.
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  Amanda, I also want to cover the topic of, you know, there are a lot of people that just to seem to achieve all their goals, right?
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  That it's just the the overachievers.
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  Like a lot of people look at people and say, they're the overachievers.
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  So I want to kind of dive into what the difference is between these people that we see as overachievers and everyone else.
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  Right.
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  ~ so there we have a fill in the blank question that we ask on every one of these shows.
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  So your fill in the blank question is most people think their goal fails because of blank, but it is really blank.
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  They have the wrong goal.
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  Mm.
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  It circles back to what we said earlier, but usually it's because they have the wrong goal or they don't have the right motivation or they're not putting the action behind it.
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  So I gave you three, but real usually it would be my instinct is they don't have the right goal.
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  Did you feel like that is so I ba what I hear you saying, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that's the number one ingredient.
• 15:07
  ~ if you've got to have the right goal because you're again, I kinda go back to what I was saying, is you can't get through the th the gross, the difficult parts, unless you have
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  the right goal.
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  ~ so that that is awesome.
• 15:21
  So let's talk a little bit more about overachievers.
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  What are some of the like I want you to dive in some of these other topics of over like we vi view these Yeah.
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  ~
• 15:35
  ~ and ~ so that's makes her an expert to speak on these on this type of topic because she is an overachiever.
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  So I wanna dive into I'm sure you working with clients and everything else, you've seen the ones that struggle more than others.
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  so what are the ingredients of an overachiever ~ versus someone that that struggles to hit their goals?
• 15:59
  this is such a good question.
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  So I'm gonna answer this in two ways.
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  The first is is that and instead of saying just an overachiever, because there is like I could talk just about overachievers and the pros and cons of that.
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  But what I really hear your question asking me is really the people who say they want something or they've set a goal, but they never put action behind it.
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  And
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  then they're just looking at either comparing themselves against someone else.
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  Instead of comparing themselves against themselves.
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  The only person you should ever compare yourself truly is yourself.
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  Are you better today than you were yesterday?
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  Did you put action behind what you wanted to achieve?
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  And and are you tracking it?
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  And that's really the formula.
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  I mean, it I know I'm oversimplifying a bit here because obviously people have life, life happens, there's other situations involved.
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  But if you can boil it down to that simple formula of what do I want to achieve and why?
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  What action do I need to take every single day to get there?
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  And am I better today than I was yesterday?
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  You will be successful.
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  It's that simple.
• 17:11
  Yeah, I I think of one of the ~ he's not the goat, but he's really really he was a really, really good basketball player, Kobe Bryant.
• 17:18
  And I think he said, just get one percent better every single day.
• 17:21
  He might have actually borrowed that quote, but I remember him saying it, just get one percent better every day.
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  And he and I I think he got more than one percent better every day, but he put in the work.
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  He he he was you know, he put
• 17:33
  in the work every single day in order to get one percent better.
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  It's one thing to get say get one percent better.
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  You have to put in work in order to do that.
• 17:41
  To your I was just I love your quote behind you.
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  Dreams don't work unless you do.
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  I'm a strong believer
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  in that.
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  You have to and I always say this, I walk my talk.
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  You know, I believe in continuous improvement.
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  I set aside time, I have it booked in my calendar, and I grade myself on it.
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  And I have time every day that I set aside to learn something new, to practice a skill, like every single day.
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  It's
• 18:05
  One of the first things I do in the morning, I listen to a podcast and then I try to apply it every single day.
• 18:10
  But well let's let's go to one of my other I don't know how well you can see it or anyone.
• 18:14
  It says you can have results or excuses, not both, which kind of goes right along with that.
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  And I think one thing that struggle people struggle with often is you kinda said it a second ago, life happens.
• 18:25
  But sometimes life happens ends up being the excuse, right?
• 18:28
  ~ rather than ~ just an obstacle.
• 18:31
  So you you wanna dive into
• 18:34
  that a little bit?
• 18:35
  yes, so much.
• 18:36
  So much.
• 18:36
  I'm like running.
• 18:37
  Okay.
• 18:38
  There's a he doesn't like being called a guru, but someone I follow, I love when he has this premise that says it might not be your fault, but it is your responsibility.
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  So just because somebody smashed into you, you might not have been at fault.
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  But what are you gonna do about it?
• 18:55
  And that's the thing, is that I feel like a lot of people, and I'm little bit biased here, so I recognize my own bias, but you know, I've
• 19:02
  I've met people, I've been around people, I've had to work with people and even live with people that have that, I don't want to say victim mentality, but that like, it happened to
• 19:12
  me.
• 19:13
  And you know, I I don't want to be the overly optimistic, it happened for you, because you know, you see those pillows too.
• 19:19
  But it's really, okay, this thing happened.
• 19:21
  Maybe you had a hard childhood, maybe you didn't have the support you're looking for, maybe life happened.
• 19:27
  But what are you going to do about it?
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  And the second, it's so empowering because the second you take control of the narrative and say, okay, and so what?
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  This is what I'm gonna do about it.
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  That's when you when you flip that switch, that's when you're ready to really be an adult, but also just like really make get results.
• 19:47
  Is is when you take the ownership.
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  And I have something which I call extreme ownership to a fault.
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  Like something will happen, someone will do something, and I try to take responsibility, which it's
• 19:56
  It's its own its own problem, but but it's because I want the control of being like, Okay, here's what I can control, here's what I can contribute, here's what I can do.
• 20:06
  And if you take that, I promise you, if you show up and say, Maybe this thing happened, maybe I didn't have control over that, but what do I have control over and
• 20:14
  how can I make it better?
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  You will get better.
• 20:17
  Winners will find a way to win.
• 20:19
  I strongly believe.
• 20:21
  Well, I I wanna I wanna touch on something.
• 20:23
  I wanna go a little bit on on my side here to the spiritual perspective and how some Christians I think to a fault do this.
• 20:30
  They say God will provide.
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  Right?
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  ~ and not just in the in the Christian.
• 20:34
  Let's just step out.
• 20:35
  Some some people believe in manifest Yeah, or univer or the
• 20:39
  yeah, or the universe will provide.
• 20:41
  Or
• 20:42
  ~ you know, they they excuse themselves from doing the work because ~ because they think
• 20:49
  tha that they're just gonna be provided for, right?
• 20:51
  I I think that is that becomes an issue sometimes.
• 20:54
  It's like, ~ I don't have to do that because I know God's gonna take care of me.
• 20:58
  Or I'll pray on it.
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  And and I and I think that you should pray on it.
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  And I'm a strong
• 21:02
  believer in that.
• 21:03
  And and and but there there's another one that I love.
• 21:07
  I can't take credit for this, but it's so empowering.
• 21:10
  Is ~ there's this thing like, I wanna be brave, so God will put monsters in your path for you to tackle.
• 21:18
  So or
• 21:18
  and there's this one there's ~ I can't remember if it's new or old testament, but it was ~ something where like
• 21:27
  A man dies and he's speaking to God at the end of his life, and and he basically says, Like, God, I was waiting for you to your point of like I I prayed to you, I was waiting
• 21:36
  for you.
• 21:36
  He's like, Well, do you remember the tractor that crashed through your house?
• 21:40
  And do you remember like that was me saying, get off your butt?
• 21:43
  So it's absolutely like I'm a strong believer in fill fill up your cup spiritually, whatever that means to you.
• 21:52
  but you have to take action, right?
• 21:53
  Like, like
• 21:54
  God helps those who helps themselves.
• 21:56
  So
• 21:57
  Yeah,
• 21:57
  yeah.
• 21:58
  He d he did he do he put us ~ from again from my Christian perspective, he put us here to do work, right?
• 22:04
  ~ and you can't just sit on your butt and expect the the things in life to work out.
• 22:10
  So
• 22:10
  it's sitting and in today's world it, you know, ~ you can sit on your butt and have things delivered to you and you don't have to go to the store and you don't have to go to food,
• 22:19
  you know.
• 22:19
  I mean, we are so lucky the time that we're living in.
• 22:22
  Like there's problems in the world a hundred percent.
• 22:24
  But we are so fortunate that we could just sit in one spot and have stuff come to us.
• 22:31
  But think about, you know, we haven't okay, I'm going a bit in a tangent, but we have an epidemic of loneliness right now.
• 22:37
  And I think it's because people
• 22:39
  don't get out as much because we are so fortunate in the world we live in that we do have these luxuries and we're missing out on some of the smaller connections.
• 22:48
  Or when people are in public, they're looking at their phone or they're not connecting the way we used to.
• 22:54
  And I think that that's a missed opportunity.
• 22:56
  And you and I spoke about this before we started recording.
• 22:59
  And one of the reasons we wanted to record this episode, even though it goes a little bit different than the green, is because I think what's missing the most in the world today is
• 23:06
  being able to have a
• 23:08
  A conversation with someone where you disagree with them, but not assign them being evil or to blame, or just ~ opening to your point of full circle in the beginning of
• 23:18
  conversation, we talked about opening up and trying to understand their perspective.
• 23:23
  what led them to think this way?
• 23:25
  What, what, why do they feel this way?
• 23:27
  What I think if we stay curious longer and we're willing to have difficult conversations or just regular conversations and not cast
• 23:36
  blame on people or a title or a label, I I feel like that's really what's missing today is that being able to thoughtfully disagree or just be with someone who's totally different
• 23:46
  than you or totally different values and beliefs.
• 23:49
  It's interesting.
• 23:50
  It's interesting what what you learn when you when you're in that environment.
• 23:55
  Yes, exactly.
• 23:56
  I I I think too often we from either side we can get closed minded, right?
• 24:02
  ~ and not willing to ~ and and it doesn't help that media is driving one way one direction or the other, right?
• 24:09
  ~ it I d I don't mean to go on a tangent here, but I'm just gonna bring up something that came up recently.
• 24:16
  ~ everybody knows who's who Matthew McConaughey is, right?
• 24:19
  And he said ~ on a video just a couple days ago about the importance of
• 24:24
  in having an independent in in political system and like to balance that out because we're so extreme on one side or the other to to to
• 24:34
  to come into the into the middle.
• 24:37
  I don't know how practical that like I don't know how possible that is.
• 24:40
  It seems very difficult with how strained it is on both sides, but ~ I could see because I think most of the America is somewhere in the middle.
• 24:48
  Right?
• 24:48
  We're not extreme one way or the or the other way.
• 24:50
  And there's a lot of things that we can agree on.
• 24:52
  And I think we could grow
• 24:54
  different.
• 24:54
  Yeah.
• 24:55
  Yeah, we could grow as a nation a lot better working together than divided apart.
• 25:00
  Absolutely.
• 25:01
  So anyway, ~ if you haven't seen that video, if if you're interested in checking it's it's somewhere on the internet.
• 25:07
  It's
• 25:07
  it's somewhere on the internet.
• 25:08
  It was it was pretty good.
• 25:08
  I th I ~ he has some pr Matthew McConaughey has some pretty good insights.
• 25:13
  I read his book, ~ Green Lights, I think it was, or something like or something like that and it w it was a good book too.
• 25:17
  So ~ yeah, I ~
• 25:23
  Back to I kind of got us off track, but back to
• 25:26
  ~ the let's talk a little bit more about community.
• 25:31
  ~ because I you kind of brought up that topic.
• 25:33
  I know that's kind of getting off goal setting a little bit, but here's how let's tie it back into goal setting.
• 25:39
  How important is it having the right people around you ~ in the right environments ~ for goal setting?
• 25:46
  If you could talk a little bit about that.
• 25:47
  Yeah, so a lot of people talk about, you know, the five people you spend the most time with, you're most alike.
• 25:53
  And in today's world, what we don't think about a lot of times, and I remind people of this, is it's not just the people you spend physical time with, but it's also what media
• 26:04
  are you consuming?
• 26:05
  What
• 26:06
  What ~ music are you listening to?
• 26:09
  Like all these things are influencing our mood and and our emotions and kind of what our level set expectations are.
• 26:17
  So it's it's you really want to look at your influences and see like, okay, what is surrounding me right now, whatever stage you're at.
• 26:27
  And then the second piece is going back more to the specific of goals and stuff.
• 26:31
  We have something called an accountability partner, but
• 26:33
  We know statistically, the more that you have ~ a coach or a mentor or a friend or somebody else, even your s even in your your church, your your you know, your religion
• 26:45
  group, like anything that where people know and are expecting you, think of like how likely you are to show up even on days you don't feel like it or you're having a bad day.
• 26:54
  You're so much more likely like when
• 26:56
  We talk about exercise, right?
• 26:57
  If you have an exercise buddy, you know, you're you're more likely to actually get to your goal and and get to your commitments when you have someone, which we'll call an
• 27:05
  accountability buddy, but other people call it other things.
• 27:08
  And it's basically just someone who knows and who can hold you to it and who you don't want to disappoint.
• 27:13
  And so in the book, we actually go through different types of accountability buddies, like you have someone who's more like cheering you on, and then you have someone who's more
• 27:21
  or maybe indirectly impacted if you don't show up, right?
• 27:24
  So it it's ways to again create a plan that you know you're gonna stick to because you're you're reinforcing it and you're you're making sure that your influences are keeping you
• 27:35
  going in the right direction.
• 27:36
  Just like we talk a lot about this too.
• 27:40
  I I really like to talk about the what to do versus what not to do because it's easier for people's brains to think in that way.
• 27:48
  But a lot of news will be like
• 27:49
  Don't eat that thing on your dinner plate tonight, because you're gonna die, And so it's but the way brains actually work is ~ because I have two degrees in psychology and and
• 27:59
  neuroscience and all that fun stuff.
• 28:00
  Of how do how does our brain actually process information?
• 28:04
  And so focusing on what you do want to achieve is way more successful than focusing on what you don't.
• 28:11
  Making sure you have a community, making sure you have people who are cheering you on, or at least know what you're trying to accomplish.
• 28:17
  you're gonna be more likely to reach your goal than those not.
• 28:19
  But also just as impactful is cutting out the negative influences in your life.
• 28:25
  And I don't just mean people, I mean like what are you reading or what's what's iterating your current way of being that's preventing you.
• 28:35
  Like there's a great book, ~ you might even have it on your shelf like what got here won't get you there, you know?
• 28:40
  And
• 28:40
  it's so like what do we have to cut out of our lives to make it better.
• 28:44
  So you have to be thinking about both extremes.
• 28:47
  Yeah, I I often think about it in in terms of I think about a boxer and the guy in the corner, right?
• 28:55
  You go you're you're like you're you're trying to accomplish this goal of winning this fight.
• 29:00
  ~ and you go sit down and you're just feeling defeated.
• 29:02
  You're f like maybe maybe you're losing the fight right then and he's like, No, get back out there and fight.
• 29:07
  Right.
• 29:08
  That's you want somebody like that in your in your corner.
• 29:11
  The other thing that was kind of interesting is brought up in ~ actually my Bible study the other day is
• 29:16
  the importance of having a mentor, and not only having a mentor, but a mentee, right?
• 29:21
  There's
• 29:21
  someone below you ~ on on the wrong or whatever you that that just hasn't gotten to where you are yet.
• 29:28
  And I think it helps your own goals when you're able to help someone else.
• 29:33
  that and that's a a lot of the Christian perspective too is how how can you help others love others, right?
• 29:37
  So I think
• 29:39
  if you could kind of talk about a little bit about about that hierarchy of having a mentor and a mentee.
• 29:44
  Yeah, I we actually have rolled out a bunch of programs like this in organizations, and we've seen that there is benefits not just to the mentee, to your point of obviously
• 29:55
  having a mentor, someone ahead of you is gonna help you get, you know, pull your future forward faster and also add answer questions.
• 30:02
  But what we're finding is the mentor themselves also get so much value.
• 30:06
  So not not only do they get the good feelings, the good vibes of knowing that they're
• 30:12
  They're investing in somebody else.
• 30:13
  And so when you elevate someone, it elevates you.
• 30:16
  It also ~ different perspectives.
• 30:19
  So a lot of times it'll be someone younger than you or someone with less experience than you.
• 30:23
  And sometimes they're gonna ask you a question that you're like, huh, you've been doing some whatever it is that you've been doing for so long.
• 30:30
  You didn't look at it from that light.
• 30:31
  So it gives you a new per valuable perspective or insight.
• 30:35
  And it's it's a really ~ it's
• 30:39
  mutually beneficial for both sides.
• 30:41
  And we find that mentors actually advance in their own careers too.
• 30:46
  So you think of mentor as somebody who's been like, you know, in the field for decades, whatever.
• 30:50
  But we've seen even an advancement in them.
• 30:52
  The people who are mentoring, they get elevated because people are it's it's very reciprocal in that sense.
• 30:59
  So there's a lot of positive reasons to be both the mentor and mentee.
• 31:02
  And I agree with you completely.
• 31:04
  Even people like fresh out of college, I we I had someone I was just
• 31:08
  Just coaching the other day and she's what we ~ in the in Europe they call a fresher.
• 31:12
  ~ like she just graduated a year ago.
• 31:15
  And she's like, Well, I'm only a year into my career.
• 31:18
  I can't I can't be a mentor.
• 31:19
  I was like, You don't think that that new hire that just came in that you don't know more than the new hire?
• 31:25
  You don't know you don't you don't think that you could be instrumental for the interns, a summer internship program?
• 31:31
  Of course you can.
• 31:32
  What are talking about?
• 31:33
  I mean, as someone personally who is I have managed teams of people that were completely more senior than myself, that were more experienced in in a technical thing or whatever,
• 31:43
  or just literal years on the planet.
• 31:46
  And they look at me going like, this person's gonna be managing me.
• 31:49
  And for me, I'm a strong believer in servant leadership.
• 31:51
  I'm I'm here to serve, I'm here to help people be better, whatever they need in in order to get there.
• 31:57
  And so
• 31:59
  A lot of times people s cut themselves short and say, Well, I only have this many years of experience or I only know this one thing.
• 32:05
  Well, there's someone out there who you could be helping right now.
• 32:08
  You just have to look for it and by helping them, you help yourself.
• 32:12
  Yeah, yeah, so good.
• 32:14
  I now I want to get into ~ everyone listen listen up because I'm all about getting practical on ~ you know, ~ and and Amanda brought it up earlier.
• 32:23
  Like I want to people to be able to take away from this podcast practical things that they can do after they listen to this podcast.
• 32:30
  Like what are so what I'd like to ask you, yes, go grab her book.
• 32:34
  The the answers are in her book, but I want Amanda to kinda spill the beans a little bit on some things that that you can take right now and start
• 32:41
  To get closer to your goals.
• 32:43
  Okay, so the book is on Amazon, but I'll do you one better.
• 32:46
  I have a workbook that is completely free.
• 32:50
  If you go to go G T D S, G-O-G-T S dot com, you have to put in your email address only because I have to make sure you're human.
• 32:59
  I promise not to spam you.
• 33:00
  I don't send emails.
• 33:01
  I just want to make sure you're real human because we really want you to actually be successful.
• 33:05
  And it's a workbook where you do the exercises because I think you're hearing the theme from me.
• 33:10
  It's you have to put action on
• 33:12
  behind the thought in order to get better.
• 33:15
  It's that simple.
• 33:16
  And so that would be my biggest thing is download the workbook today, start the exercise, do one a day if you have to, because you will get the consistency compounds, right?
• 33:29
  So we talked about Kobe Bryant 1% better and he got so much better.
• 33:33
  It's because if you take one step forward, people look at other people and they're like, that person's so far ahead of me.
• 33:39
  They're 10,000 steps.
• 33:40
  It's not that that person is moving faster than you.
• 33:42
  They just started maybe at a different starting point or maybe 10 years ago.
• 33:47
  So just you can be that person.
• 33:49
  You just have to start and you have to keep going and keep going and keep going and you will get there.
• 33:56
  makes me want yes, go get the workbook.
• 33:58
  That's that's your practical s a solution for today.
• 34:01
  But I I I have s a couple a few more questions for you before
• 34:05
  ~ so let's talk about falling off the horse.
• 34:08
  And what I mean by that is cons we we kind of just brought up consistency is so vital.
• 34:13
  ~ but then life happens, right?
• 34:16
  Life like maybe you have you get sick and you're and and you can't do a whole lot for a week or something.
• 34:21
  ~ you know, there are things in life that kind of derail you.
• 34:25
  So let's talk about what let's talk about it's practical.
• 34:30
  What do you do in that situation in order to get back on the horse and make sure that you're staying consistent?
• 34:36
  So, as we discussed in the beginning, I am an overachiever and I used to have a very much all or nothing mentality.
• 34:42
  So if I could not go to the gym for at least an hour, I was like, ~ there's no point.
• 34:48
  Now I've adopted, I've fine tuned, I've learned and I've grown, and I've adopted a different thing.
• 34:56
  Something is better than nothing.
• 34:58
  So I'll also say that piece of it is that there is a
• 35:03
  A seven minute workout app.
• 35:05
  This is a true story.
• 35:05
  And I was like, seven minutes.
• 35:07
  But let me tell you something.
• 35:08
  After that, seven minutes, I am I've been an athlete my whole life.
• 35:12
  And I am like huffing and puffing.
• 35:14
  So I will say something is better than nothing.
• 35:17
  So even if it's five minutes a day, it's better than nothing.
• 35:21
  And let's say you do get sick and you do fall off.
• 35:23
  In the book, we talk about having contingency plans.
• 35:26
  So the more you can frontload what could go wrong.
• 35:29
  If I'm sick,
• 35:30
  I will do this.
• 35:31
  If I forget my sneakers and then I will do that.
• 35:34
  And if whatever you can think that could go wrong, you plan ahead of time before it happens, then you're gonna be more likely to stick with it.
• 35:40
  Now let's say, because this happens to all of us we're human, it happens to me too, where then you can hear my voice, I'm still coming off of being sick recently.
• 35:48
  Okay, ~ I'm sick, I missed three days, now what?
• 35:53
  Start again and and keep going.
• 35:56
  Because again, it's the best thing you can do is even if it's five minutes.
• 35:59
  ~ so I did it today.
• 36:02
  I did I don't believe in that doing anything halfway, but I definitely was not my full fledged self today when I worked out, but I still did it and I feel good that I did it.
• 36:11
  And I didn't do it to a point where I'm gonna make myself sick by doing it.
• 36:14
  It's it's those small modifications.
• 36:17
  And then I've had times where I've fallen off because I went on a trip or I whatever the excuse, right, is it's getting back into and being not beating.
• 36:26
  A lot people have tendency to beat themselves up.
• 36:29
  ~ I didn't do it.
• 36:30
  All is lost.
• 36:31
  It's like, no, just do it tomorrow.
• 36:33
  Just do it the next day.
• 36:35
  And and I love to gamify things.
• 36:37
  So for me,
• 36:38
  like I said, when I do my learning for the day, I check it, I check a box literally every day, like, okay, I did it today, or I get an X, I didn't do it.
• 36:46
  I was like, ~ So it makes me want to be like, how many days in a row can I do this thing?
• 36:51
  How many, you know, and then you s and then you start start over.
• 36:54
  It's just about getting back up.
• 36:56
  And I am a horseback rider.
• 36:57
  I don't know if you know this, but I am actually a horseback rider in real life.
• 37:00
  And so what you learn in horses is you always get back up.
• 37:05
  you don't have a choice because it's more dangerous on the ground than it is on the horse's back.
• 37:10
  So always just get back up.
• 37:12
  Whether it's a week, day,
• 37:14
  a year, just get going and keep going.
• 37:17
  Yeah, I often say the most like just to use the gym reference, the most important thing is to get to the gym, right?
• 37:24
  Because once you're there, you're going to do something, right?
• 37:29
  and ~ I I ca some t I have some really busy days and sometimes I will go to the gym and it'll be a fifteen minute workout because that's all I have time for.
• 37:36
  But I make sure to work out.
• 37:38
  The next day it right, it might be the forty f full forty five minutes that I normally do.
• 37:42
  Yeah
• 37:42
  ~ so it's it's it doesn't have to be
• 37:45
  Well, kinda like you said, an all or nothing type of thing.
• 37:47
  It's better a something than nothing.
• 37:49
  ~ because it's that Yeah.
• 37:53
  very difficult.
• 37:54
  Cause I truly am a you go all in, if you're gonna do anything, do it all the way, type of person.
• 37:59
  So it it's been a really hard rewiring, but it has definitely served me significantly more than the old mentality.
• 38:08
  This might be the next to last question I have for you because a mindset is very important.
• 38:13
  ~ do you believe let me think about the exact way I want to ask this.
• 38:20
  Can can a mindset be adopted to be able to accomplish your goals, or is is it just certain people that have a certain mindset that can accomplish goals?
• 38:28
  Anything is achievable, anything is learnable.
• 38:31
  Every skill we have as a human.
• 38:32
  Okay, there are genetics.
• 38:34
  ~ okay, if I'm 10 years old and I'm like, I'm gonna be a professional basketball player like Kobe Bryant,
• 38:40
  ha ha.
• 38:41
  you're only gonna be able to grow so far.
• 38:42
  You are.
• 38:43
  That that's a fact.
• 38:44
  But you could get really good at basketball and play in a league and and you can do, you know, you can practice your your jump throws.
• 38:52
  You can you there's I believe that everything is
• 38:57
  a muscle that we can work and and our mind especially and this is actually backed in science.
• 39:01
  So again, two degrees in psychology.
• 39:03
  I I'm well versed in neuroscience.
• 39:05
  And in neuroscience you it's literally carving pathways in our brain.
• 39:09
  So I won't get too geeky about this stuff.
• 39:11
  But literally by you doing the activity and you know I'm sure everybody's heard like practice makes perfect.
• 39:18
  It's actually perfect practice makes perfect.
• 39:20
  And so
• 39:21
  you want to make sure that you're training your brain one of the most
• 39:24
  impactful things you can do is just to be aware of your own thoughts.
• 39:28
  ~ even that is gonna set you significant.
• 39:32
  So let's say you have negative thoughts, negative self-talk, right?
• 39:36
  The first thing that you need to do is to recognize it and be like, ~ I'm being mean to myself right now or I'm having these negative thoughts.
• 39:45
  The hard part is a lot of people are so ingrained in it that they don't realize they're doing it.
• 39:49
  But once they figure once they identify that, whether someone holds up a mirror, a mentor or a coach
• 39:54
  says, hey, by the way, the way you're thinking about this is is ~ negative.
• 39:58
  And you listen to them and be like, okay, maybe you're there right.
• 40:01
  It's the awareness.
• 40:03
  But then once you're aware, you can actually do something about the hardest part is being aware of what's holding you back.
• 40:10
  And again, that's another plug to work with a mentor, a coach, or somebody who's outside of yourself because they're able to see stuff you might not be able to see when you're in
• 40:19
  the weeds.
• 40:21
  Let let's talk about something you just said there because I I want to emphasize that ~ in that you said perfect practice makes perfect, right?
• 40:28
  I've
• 40:29
  often told people, like i I use the the free throw reference, if you keep shooting free throws the wrong way, but you do it consistently, you're still gonna be not shooting good
• 40:37
  free throws.
• 40:38
  ~
• 40:39
  so it's important like yes, be consistent, but then you have to optimize the way you're doing things, otherwise you're gonna keep failing.
• 40:48
  ~ failing.
• 40:49
  And failing because you're not
• 40:50
  doing it correctly.
• 40:51
  And again, let's go back to the mentor.
• 40:53
  ~ having a mentor to say, Hey, you're doing that wrong right?
• 40:57
  You're you're I'm I'm glad to see you keep doing it, but you're doing it wrong.
• 41:01
  that's why a mentor Yep.
• 41:06
  makes all the difference.
• 41:07
  And sometimes it's just that someone who held up a mirror for you to see that, my elbow is down when I'm trying to you know, so or whatever the case is.
• 41:16
  Yeah.
• 41:17
  Yeah.
• 41:17
  so that that's so good because a lot of people they'll they'll they feel like they've been consistent in the past, but they've been doing the wrong thing consistently and that's why
• 41:25
  they give up sometimes.
• 41:26
  So ~ my advice is find someone to help you ~ do the thing more correctly and stay still can stay consistent.
• 41:34
  ~ you can tell the difference if anyone that's had a personal trainer versus just going to the gym themselves.
• 41:39
  Like the difference in in the outcomes ~ there is is phenomenal.
• 41:43
  So my question to you,
• 41:46
  One more question, then my last question to you, Matt.
• 41:48
  ~ can someone is it just the book that they can get or is there some sort of thing that where you can direct them to our mentor or could you be a mentor for them?
• 41:57
  What does that look like?
• 41:59
  Do do coaching, executive coaching, usually, because again, I'm corporate world.
• 42:04
  ~ but the nice part is is that I set this up so that people can actually do it themselves because it it the workbook is completely free.
• 42:12
  There's no excuses, go download it, it's completely free, do it.
• 42:15
  ~ the book is on Amazon, which makes it easily and accessible because that was the goal.
• 42:20
  And then that does feed into this framework for excellence.
• 42:24
  And so there is a whole program, it's a year-long program, it's all about.
• 42:28
  1% better and and and continuing and and all the things that have encouraged me along the way and the processes and systems I've pulled through.
• 42:35
  So that's available, but again, it's not about that for me.
• 42:38
  Like I really, it's not about it doesn't make money.
• 42:42
  They're like, if you're giving away for free, like how do you make money?
• 42:44
  I'm like, no, that's I'm not doing this to make money.
• 42:47
  I'm doing this to help people.
• 42:48
  I work in corporate world.
• 42:50
  That's how I make money.
• 42:51
  I make money in the business world.
• 42:52
  But for individuals, like I really just want them to be successful.
• 42:57
  So even though she's she's not a Christian, she still has that heart that f to serve people and to help people.
• 43:02
  ~ so I I'm sure that many of the listeners can can relate to that for sure.
• 43:07
  So ~ I I love that.
• 43:09
  ~ please go down that download that workbook if you want to start getting a lot closer to your goals and than you ever felt you have been, ~ that's that's step number one is to get
• 43:19
  that workbook and start start applying.
• 43:21
  It's it's the drive to the gym.
• 43:23
  Getting the workbook is the drive to the gym, right?
• 43:25
  You're getting started.
• 43:26
  And you're now that now that you have the workbook, you're gonna do something with it.
• 43:29
  So ~ thanks, thanks again, Amanda.
• 43:32
  ~ the last question I ask everybody that comes on the podcast, because I hate to leave wisdom laid out ~ on the cutting room floor, is it's a totally open-ended question.
• 43:42
  Do you have any words of advice, wisdom, anything else that you felt like I didn't ask you about that you'd like to share?
• 43:48
  We covered a lot of ground today, so I had a really fun conversation.
• 43:52
  Hopefully I didn't talk your ears off.
• 43:54
  ~ I will say stay curious is one of the mo
• 43:59
  the hardest things because we think we know.
• 44:01
  I was just talking to someone about this who has a teenage daughter.
• 44:03
  And I vividly remember being a 17-year-old and knowing everything, having all the answers, right?
• 44:12
  And the older I get, the less I know, you know, the more I n I realize what I don't know.
• 44:17
  And
• 44:18
  I will say that and and this is probably a very Christian thing to say too, but it's true.
• 44:23
  It's like if one thing that's really important to know about how human psychology works is we judge ourselves on our intentions, but we judge other people on their actions.
• 44:34
  So for example, if you're late to a meeting,
• 44:37
  My first not really, because I try not to be, but someone's first thought might be like, that person is doesn't value my time, that person is lazy, that person is disorganized,
• 44:47
  whatever the case is.
• 44:48
  But if we are the ones late to the mean, we're like, there was a flat tire and I I didn't intend to be late.
• 44:54
  And so just remember that that to stay curious a little longer, ask one extra question instead of you just assuming you know, ask a question for someone, like, why did you say
• 45:05
  that?
• 45:06
  Or
• 45:07
  Did you know that when you're late, I think it's because you don't value my whatever it is, the more you ask, the more you learn.
• 45:14
  And I think that up close, it's really hard to hate someone when you know them as a person.
• 45:19
  And again,
• 45:20
  we talked a little bit about this throughout our session today, but there's so much polarization in the world that we're living in.
• 45:27
  But when you really actually have a conversation with another human being, we are all human beings and we all care and we want to help people and we want to help our neighbors.
• 45:36
  And so I think when you give that kind of grace and and ask questions instead of assuming you know the answer, you'll be blown away by what people are going through.
• 45:45
  And and it makes them so much more connected to you.
• 45:49
  It makes them want to understand you better.
• 45:51
  So if you want people to listen to you, the best way is to start by listening to them first.
• 45:58
  Yeah, that's sales 101 actually, too.
• 46:00
  If if you want to get into sales conversations, best salespeople are lit better listeners than they are talkers.
• 46:05
  So
• 46:05
  ~ I I I love that.
• 46:07
  And I'm gonna call this a rewind moment.
• 46:09
  Not that the whole podcast is not a rewind moment, but a lot of times I like to s pick things out that maybe have not even been touched on in the podcast before.
• 46:17
  So I believe what you've just said.
• 46:18
  L rewind that, everybody.
• 46:20
  Listen to that again because I think that's gonna be so helpful to you in your life, ~ in relationships with others.
• 46:26
  ~
• 46:27
  is to just take that kind of perspective.
• 46:29
  So thank you so much, Amanda.
• 46:32
  Thank you for having me.
• 46:33
  All right, and until next time, entrepreneurs, keep moving forward.