Latest / The Danger Zoo / Pale Beacon / Race for the White Coffin

Transcript

Pale Beacon / Race for the White Coffin · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:09
Welcome to the Danger Zoo, the Department of Anomalous and Non
0:12
Human Genetic entities, Reconnaissance and Zoological
0:15
Operations. I am Cody, you're game warden.
0:18
And we have a lot of people here and a lot of stuff's going down.
0:23
So this is for the audience only.
0:25
The guys can't hear this part. In the last episode they were
0:28
exploring a spider den. They found the coffin and
0:32
they're currently fighting zombies and running away from
0:35
the white thing and really just trying to figure out how to get
0:39
this coffin to move. And they found out they have two
0:42
of the nails for the four missing nails.
0:46
The weird thing is now there's two night owls on the board and
0:51
all the characters are confused but they're not saying anything
0:54
because they think the GW has made a mistake.
0:59
So none of them are saying anything.
1:03
Let's see how long it takes them to figure out that there's a
1:06
doppelganger somewhere. OK so what's happened to you so
1:10
far? Authority when you cause 2
1:13
episodes ago you got sucked off into the abyss, what happened?
1:16
Well, yeah, dude, like I woke up in this like BDSM wet dream,
1:21
like damn me all tied up and stuff.
1:23
And they were like hitting me with crops and cattails and
1:28
paddles and. Dude, it was.
1:30
Awesome, but for some reason I just felt the need to I had to
1:35
leave. Yeah, I woke up to some weird
1:39
kid untying me. Who's that?
1:43
That's Sammy. Sammy saved you.
1:45
Who? The fuck is Sammy?
1:48
We rescued him from a Pagan underworld.
1:51
Oh. Yeah, we did.
1:54
Yeah. I'm not sure how Sammy got
1:55
there, but I mean, he's a cool kid.
1:57
He's all right. We got to keep him away from the
1:59
drugs because if we don't end up like Coyote.
2:03
Yeah, we don't want that mission start now, baby bird.
2:08
Hazy. That doesn't sound quite like
2:11
the last episode you guys were in, does it?
2:14
No, I remember it a little different.
2:18
I don't remember much because I hit my head.
2:20
Oh yeah, baby bird fell off the thing and then if we I'm Oh
2:24
yeah, I got chased by the white thing.
2:27
I am running northeast and I run into Sammy, all of you.
2:30
I'm very confused that Sammy one is here that thought he is with
2:35
him and then Naidel is also with him.
2:39
What's so confusing? Because you were at the Pale
2:44
Coffin, I don't know where did you came from?
2:50
Falling in that hole and waking up tied up.
2:53
What do you mean? I was by the pale coffin.
2:56
So we're looking at the pale coffin.
2:59
Maybe I'm misremembering this. Why does Sammy look so sad?
3:04
What did you do to him? It's.
3:06
Because Sammy's a little bitch, dude.
3:08
Oh man, we, we gave him a job. We gave him a job and all I've
3:13
heard is him complain about child labor laws and he will not
3:17
stop talking about it. He's getting paid, right?
3:21
That's what I'm saying. He gets a nickel a day.
3:26
It's more than I got. Yeah.
3:28
That I didn't get shit grown. I'm working.
3:32
All right, so we need to go help Baby Bird.
3:34
We need to go West here and go pick him up so you guys can fill
3:38
me in later. We'll go.
3:39
I'll show you where the coffin is.
3:41
Oh yeah? Well, I'm just going to follow
3:42
you then. Oh, fearless leader.
3:45
We go West, Sammy posts up, keeping an eye out.
3:49
And baby bird, you just fell. Are you hurt?
3:53
Are you dead? What's happening?
3:59
What happened? Are you taking a pee pee in your
4:03
butt? What is happening?
4:07
My face was on inside the dirt, OK.
4:11
Well, what do you I? Remember getting picked up by
4:13
Coyote and he threw me? I didn't throw nothing.
4:17
You got hit by the white thing. The white thing.
4:21
The white thing, that's what I get called sometimes.
4:25
That's not a good thing when you get called it though.
4:28
I don't know. Right?
4:28
So we get Baby Bird up. I remember screaming at the top
4:32
of my lungs and then face planting into the dirt.
4:35
So nothing new. Hey, your people are always
4:39
going on about Holy Land and stuff so you love the.
4:41
Dirt, it was promised. It was promised to me 9000 years
4:46
ago. Go him.
4:48
All right, Hazy, what are you doing over here?
4:54
What? Northeast corner?
4:55
You spy a little zombie. Well, I guess I will ignore said
5:01
zombie. And did I already explore that
5:03
up north? No, you said you were going to.
5:06
And that was the end of the episode.
5:08
So yeah, I'm going to go that way all.
5:11
Right. So you head up north and as soon
5:14
as you get up here, you run into Madison.
5:17
Oh, sons of bitches. You still have that area or what
5:24
is it you have that attack of like you can dip out without
5:28
taking a reaction if you want. You going to kick it with this
5:31
girl or you going to take off? Now I'm going to see if she's
5:34
still talking. That was song.
5:38
Is she like friendly at at the moment?
5:40
What up? Girl, yeah, she's very docile.
5:45
She's just kind of standing there saying her repeat words.
5:49
Docile you say? She stares at you.
5:58
But give give me a luck roll real quick.
6:02
Is hazy getting lucky tonight? My Christmas a -1. -1 So what
6:11
number did you get? I just rolled for you on the
6:13
screen. I didn't see I I was looking at
6:16
that dude again. Didn't count.
6:20
But you don't want to go with the 17.
6:22
That was an 18. No, he has a.
6:25
He has a -1. So there you go, reroll. 13 it
6:29
is. You have a 13, so so you guys
6:34
don't have to roll. I'm going to roll.
6:35
And then you guys just add whatever your stuff is.
6:37
That way everyone can see your numbers.
6:39
It's because he doesn't trust us.
6:41
He don't trust none of you bitches.
6:43
That's acceptable. Yeah.
6:45
She just looks at you and she just goes.
6:50
And. She actually just walks by you.
7:02
She goes like 10 feet South. Hopefully she's not talking
7:05
about me saying daddy and shit like that.
7:08
Definitely not. Nobody's calling you daddy.
7:11
Just me. No.
7:14
OK, hazy, you want to do anything else?
7:18
I mean, there's nothing else up there on that Cliff.
7:21
Oh, you want to investigate? Sure, I would like to.
7:25
Head further to the Cliff and it's going to be another D20
7:31
roll. My bad 17.
7:35
So as you're digging around here in the dirt, you see a little
7:39
something shiny in the northeast corner, and you go over there
7:42
and your gypsy senses take over and you just start digging
7:45
because you know something valuable is there.
7:46
Treasure. Something loose to you?
7:49
And you find a web bound coin pouch that has.
7:53
I smell something. Oh.
7:55
My God. That is in character, that is.
7:59
In character it is. Let me tell you how much you
8:01
get. You find 92 gold pieces.
8:05
Fuck yeah. But now Bieber knows where Hazy
8:09
is at because he smells the coins right?
8:11
Yeah. I'm salivating for some reason.
8:14
You. Yes, he knows where it is.
8:17
He's like must clip coins. Oh man.
8:21
It's a real ball, knowledge to the air.
8:24
A strange scent in the air has re energized me.
8:28
I'm assuming you're going to pocket that though, right?
8:30
Hazy. Oh yeah, I'm going to do that in
8:32
like at least like can I make an action walking back towards
8:35
y'all? Yeah, you can start heading back
8:39
and you just get right behind Madison.
8:41
You're halfway down the. I'm following her.
8:44
Yeah, you're, you're walking down the ledge behind her.
8:46
Yeah, I'd follow her too. But she does have some massive.
8:51
For the record, you know a voice actor comes in here and does the
8:54
voices of this character, right? There's actually a female coming
8:57
to listen to you guys. Oh.
9:00
No. Oh God.
9:02
I do not objectify women, ever. Anyways.
9:07
Oh my good boy. What's the main group doing?
9:12
I guess we can search around here maybe?
9:15
I'm going to turn to baby bird and then be like, what do you
9:18
smell, boy, what do you smell? I don't know if it's blood in my
9:22
nose and mouth or if that's just the pennies.
9:26
We're both. Or radiation.
9:28
Lead us. Show us the way, boy.
9:30
Show us the way. Night out, give me we're going
9:33
to do an investigation roll. Damn.
9:37
That dice looks real. Intelligence.
9:40
Yeah. Oh yeah, no, I'm done.
9:42
Dumb. So that was 19. 19 OK, so you do
9:45
find something here. Let's roll AD 20.
9:48
See what you find. Big money, no whammies.
9:51
Oh great, so I tend to I'm starting to walk out of here.
9:56
So is Baby Bird and. I'm not walking, I'm limping.
10:01
How far was that fall? It was about 10:15.
10:05
I I'm fucking limping, dude. 15 feet.
10:08
Yeah, you. And that's fine.
10:10
What you find is a web pit trap. Oh shit.
10:13
Very quietly, nobody hears you. Everyone's looking northeast
10:16
because we're leaving. You just kind of fall into the
10:19
ground and there's a bunch of sticky stuff holding you down.
10:24
But. Is he gagged?
10:27
At first you panic because it looks like spiders all over you,
10:29
but it's actually it's actually husk of spider.
10:33
Like something sucked all of these tiny spiders dry.
10:37
Nope, give me the fuck out. Help.
10:40
So you're saying you scream for help?
10:43
Yep. OK, you're going to scream for
10:46
help. Let's give you a luck check.
10:49
Charisma. Oh, that's a 0.
10:52
So that's a beautiful 2. OK, OK, you go to yell and when
10:59
you open your mouth some of that sikit goo just falls into it.
11:04
And now let's hear that muffled yell that nobody's going to
11:06
hear. Very interesting.
11:10
Interesting. Can we roll for us to hear that?
11:13
Nope, sure can't. Shit.
11:17
You're such a cruel overlord. He rolled A2.
11:21
What do you want from me? All right, baby bird, lead us to
11:26
those coins you smell. OK, follow me boyos.
11:31
All right, so Baby Bird makes it up northeast to the clearing.
11:34
Sammy's right behind him. So Stadi and I and we run into
11:39
Night Owl at the coffin. Wait a minute, how did he get in
11:44
front of us? I point at him.
11:47
That's fucking boy. I turn and notice that there's
11:50
no night owl behind us, so this must be the real 1.
11:54
Obviously. Duh.
11:56
Yeah. Oh no, dude.
11:58
I almost died. I'd be like, what up, boy?
12:02
And I go up and I DAP up this this fake, I mean, real night
12:06
owl. Yeah, I'm real.
12:07
DAP him up. OK, I DAP them up.
12:11
Make make make the sound. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
12:17
That was a hand sliding together.
12:19
Good enough. That was pretty good, but we
12:24
have an issue, gentlemen. What's the issue?
12:26
Baby bird. What?
12:29
Baby bird takes one point of damage, he's down to 4 again.
12:32
Why? Probably because he fell off a
12:35
Cliff. I bleeding out of my holes.
12:39
What's new? There's also an issue last
12:44
episode every everyone kept randomly taking points of
12:47
damage. Yeah, I need a seance or
12:49
something. But only baby birds taking
12:52
damage now all. Right, so we're here Hazy.
12:56
You lose track of Madison as she's going down the Cliff.
12:58
You make it to the bottom. Where are you going from here?
13:01
How the fuck did I lose track of her?
13:04
No, you weren't paying attention.
13:07
I've already done what I could without coughing, so I'm going
13:10
to like, try to follow her. She went to the East right.
13:15
Maybe you want to go to the east and check out.
13:18
Sure. OK, you go to the east, all of a
13:23
sudden someone's in front of you.
13:27
What the fuck is that? Is that liquid snake?
13:31
This guy goes to swing at you hazy like just he's throwing
13:34
punches at you and he missed. He rolled A7.
13:38
What a loser. This can't be Liquid Snake.
13:41
He sucks. Yeah, your your reaction time is
13:44
crazy. Can't touch this.
13:49
So there's a dude covering head to toe in tactical black gear.
13:53
Something about him remind you of me, but smarter and stronger
13:59
and faster. It's the.
14:01
Bulge. Not that handsomer.
14:03
Not not at all. Bigger bulge.
14:06
Way bigger bulge. Wow.
14:09
It's because he's wearing black. That thing's just slapping
14:13
around between his thighs. He got all the steak, I just got
14:16
potatoes. Hey, what's wrong with potatoes?
14:19
I'm. Irish.
14:21
Yeah, I know you are. You'd be gobbling my potatoes.
14:24
No. Anyways, he's this guy.
14:30
This random dude just took a swing at you.
14:33
Well. You fucking shoot him.
14:36
Yeah. Kill him.
14:38
Yeah, that's exactly what I planned on doing was I'm going
14:41
to pull out my gun and, you know, aim for his forehead.
14:46
Oh, aiming specifically for the forehead.
14:48
Hell yeah. Oh, Jesus.
14:51
Oh. Oh, that's not good.
14:54
That's a 2. Oh shit, he dodged.
14:57
Did you add your decks? Did I?
15:00
I did not, and it's a six now. Oh great, he just fired off Bang
15:04
like right next to him. It's it's pretty dark in this
15:06
cave and this dude. Look at that.
15:11
This dude tries to get away, doesn't.
15:13
So you get a free hit. The one that's going to land,
15:16
What is what? Dice is your guns.
15:21
D4. No, no, no, not that one.
15:24
D6. D 60s Nuts.
15:28
Holy shit. Damn look.
15:30
At those. 66 points of damage. Fuck it, blew his Dome off dude.
15:36
Who the fuck are you? You shoot this dude square in
15:41
the chest and he just goes down on the ground.
15:47
Down goes Frazier. Dang, that's.
15:50
Safety tap Don't forget the safety tap.
15:53
No, I always double tap. So can I?
15:55
Yeah. Can I double tap?
15:57
Is there sure a chance to do that?
15:59
Let us roll with advantage for double tapping.
16:04
Oh, you know, you nailed them. Two points of damage.
16:07
You shoot them square in the jaw.
16:11
In the left toe. You shut them in the jaw for two
16:15
points of damage. Well done.
16:17
That body's not moving. Sweet.
16:21
All right, back to the main group.
16:21
What are we doing? Dude run his pockets.
16:24
Oh. So I dapped up night owl.
16:28
Did anything happen? Did he react like what happened?
16:31
You're dapping up, night owl. Yeah, I dapped him up in the
16:34
last turn. What happened?
16:36
I dabbed you back. That's it.
16:39
Nothing. You guys clapped high fived.
16:43
Are you being weird? There was, there was much
16:45
rejoicing. What are you doing here, man?
16:47
Wait, even see you run past us. OK, well after we finish tapping
16:52
up, I pull them in and I reach my other hand around and I smack
16:55
them on the ass, give a nice squeeze and I'm like, yeah, this
16:59
is this is for sure the real night owl.
17:02
I know that ass anywhere. What the fuck?
17:05
Give me a perception check. OK.
17:08
What kind of podcast is this? The best?
17:12
Yeah, why am I horny now? Perception 13.
17:20
You smack that butt cheek and it feels the same but when you hit
17:24
it something. It doesn't jiggle right?
17:27
Sounded off. I I push, I push them away from
17:32
me and I go, Who are you? 9 owl what the fuck?
17:39
Well, it's good enough for me, Sammy, get to work.
17:40
Grab that coffin. Sucks.
17:46
That coffin looks really big. I got to take a break, boss.
17:49
I swear to God, Sammy, you got 15 minutes and if you're still
17:53
sitting down in 15 minutes, you're losing hand washing
17:57
privileges. Fuck the things I do for this
18:00
kid. Some notes for the listeners.
18:04
Sammy's voice is actually a coyote's real life voice.
18:08
This is how I sound 24/7 my wife.
18:12
Loves it. Anyways.
18:16
Makes her ravishing. All right, what's what's hen?
18:19
What are we doing? Well, I mean, is Sammy getting
18:21
that coffin or no? No, Sammy's taking a break,
18:25
whatever. OK well you guys not going to
18:28
react for me smacking night Owl's ass and go like wait a
18:30
minute who are you and me pushing him away from me?
18:33
I'm dealing with Sammy. Baby Bird sees all of this.
18:36
That's just a normal day for baby Bird.
18:39
Watching mom and dad fight. I guess I'll look at him.
18:43
You're like probably been working out, I don't know.
18:49
This is not the real night owl didn't jiggle right, baby bird?
18:52
You don't get it. You don't know his body like I
18:55
do. Oh.
18:56
Man, you might be right. Interesting thoughts, night owl.
19:01
Give me your luck check. How do I tell it's 6 or 9?
19:06
The dot. I think the dot goes on the
19:08
bottom. Yeah, they do.
19:10
They do go on the bottom. So it was a Nan.
19:14
Yeah. OK, that was just for me.
19:18
You just keep playing. Hey, So what are you doing at
19:21
this point? Well, I kind of want to check
19:24
said body. Oh yeah, read his pockets.
19:28
See if he's got anything interesting.
19:29
He seemed like he was like wanting to be introduced into
19:32
the story, but I. Knocked his ass out. 8 plus.
19:39
That's your investigation. That is just my investigation, I
19:44
plus one, right? I don't know.
19:46
I'm not looking at your sheet. Well, I am, so it's a nine.
19:49
There you go. OK, you're looking at him.
19:51
You don't find anything on this dude?
19:53
This guy is clean. There's like nothing about him
19:57
that gives away anything to you. He didn't even have
20:00
fingerprints. Whoa, I must have sucked him
20:05
off. I guess I'm going to kick him to
20:08
the side and just kind of keep walking to the South all.
20:12
Right. You push him over to the side
20:14
and you start heading South. You enter a little opening area
20:18
here. If I were a meta gamer I would
20:22
have burned that body you. Could do that.
20:27
But I am not a meta gamer so I ignored that.
20:31
Well, OK, in my turn I'm going to light a cigarette.
20:35
Do I need health? What health am I at?
20:38
Don't met a game, it's a bad thing.
20:40
Look at your stat sheet. It's got your health on there,
20:43
your current HPI. Don't see where the health is
20:45
at? You don't see where your health.
20:48
Is at oh, HP bottom. Yeah, bottom, yeah, I love it.
20:51
So yeah, I can afford a cigarette.
20:53
What's your hit dice? Hit to roll.
20:56
Hit Dice. Yeah, the one you roll like 3
20:58
times last episode. Oh D no D6, my bad.
21:02
All right. And you get that much health. 06
21:07
That's what's all. Very nice.
21:09
And then I'm going to end my turn by, you know, getting my
21:11
health and flicking the cigarette towards them.
21:15
Flick that cigarette well back to the main group.
21:18
What are you guys doing? Yeah, I I look at night out and
21:22
I go prove it to you. How?
21:26
I don't know, do something that you would do.
21:29
Do something that you would do. Eat a Dick.
21:32
Oh, what do you want me to do? Bark like a dog.
21:38
Woof. That sounds exactly like him.
21:41
Dude it. Has to be him, dude.
21:42
It has to be him. Wait, what are you doing with
21:46
the coffin dude? Making sure no one takes it, it
21:49
doesn't go anywhere again. OK.
21:53
Well, we're here now, so you can step away from the coffin.
21:56
Oh. No, I'm good.
22:00
Oh, let me help dude. Dude, that's crazy.
22:03
Let me help dude. We're here now.
22:05
We're here now, dude, and everything's OK to step away and
22:07
we'll pick up the coffin. I'm I'm.
22:08
I'm gonna, I'm gonna walk up to the coffin and help him out.
22:11
Yeah. OK.
22:14
Hey, where's that idiot at? Get him over here.
22:17
Yeah, get over here, Sammy. Baby bird, you walk to the
22:20
coffin to help him with that. Sammy, go fucking help out.
22:25
He puts a cigarette out. Look at this little player.
22:28
Wait, he was smoking? Sorry, his vape, his non
22:33
nicotine, non smoke vape. His his mango jewel pod.
22:40
Can I see them from my vantage spot?
22:43
Can you see them within your light circle?
22:46
No, I'm saying like if are they under me or above me?
22:49
Like I couldn't see down there and like see them.
22:52
The group. Yeah.
22:55
No man, they're you guys are like all on the same level.
22:58
All right, never mind. This is a top down view.
23:01
All right, So you guys are trying to lift the coffin and
23:04
everyone, everyone give me a strength rule.
23:07
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Night out.
23:08
It's OK. I can.
23:09
I can. I'm bigger and stronger than
23:11
you. I got a bigger strength
23:12
modifier. Let me take your place.
23:14
Step away from the coffin. Talking to you night O.
23:20
Wait one. Did he, did he break?
23:23
Did he break? He's he's a dad dude.
23:28
These kids probably ran in there.
23:30
Dad, help me please. I can't open this, Sprinkles
23:32
can. How will I reach these keys?
23:36
I don't know. Right now takes three points of
23:40
damage. From what we don't know.
23:45
That's true. We don't know, but somebody else
23:48
is going to take some damage here.
23:49
Second. Does he like physically Oh from
23:52
the turn? Thought it you take one point of
23:55
damage. I'm actually going to violate
23:59
you, me, I. Didn't do anything.
24:03
So what say you about me imploring you to step away from
24:07
the coffin and letting me take your place?
24:11
What? There's two weaker people here.
24:13
You can take one of their spots. Yeah, but you look kind of
24:16
tired. Let me take your place.
24:17
I'm good, thanks though. I'll tell you what we're going
24:20
to do a standoff between the two of you.
24:23
Both of you get to pick one of your skills like strength,
24:27
dexterity, constitutional intelligence.
24:29
You both are going to roll against each other.
24:31
Whoever wins has to use that to explain why they won this
24:36
argument and or physical altercation.
24:40
OK, Strength modifier 4. All right.
24:44
My strength is a modifier one shit.
24:49
So you can just pick like your highest skill and then you just
24:51
got to figure out how to use it if you win.
24:53
So 30 you got a what? 20.
24:57
Two OK night out. What's your biggest?
25:00
Dexterity. Dexterity OK, not 20.
25:06
Damn it. Wow.
25:08
Damn dude, that's crazy. 23. Yeah.
25:13
Dirty 23, baby, let's go. 23 versus the 22 OK, so you can use
25:20
Dex, you can use acrobatics, you can use firearms, you can use
25:25
sleight of hand or. You just turn it into Jackie
25:28
Chan and just use the whole fucking building.
25:31
Or you can use stealth to win this argument and or physical
25:36
altercation. And stealth.
25:41
I don't trust this motherfucker. That motherfucker's not real.
25:47
Why don't you trust me? It's me, you know it's me.
25:52
Why are you doubting me so much? He's too French.
25:57
Hon. Hon.
25:58
Hon. Yeah.
26:00
Wee wee, wee. Peugeot, Hon.
26:04
Messy Boku. All right, I'm just taking a
26:06
walk around. I'm looking holy.
26:08
Shit, Buck. You guys hear me yelling?
26:11
What the fuck is that? I walked southwest and Madison
26:16
scared me, but then this other guy pops up right next to me.
26:19
Everyone is going to roll for initiative right now.
26:22
Oh. Shit.
26:24
So everyone this you're going to have to roll your own stuff
26:26
because I'm going to have to put numbers in here.
26:29
OK, now you know what that means.
26:31
Back to Lion. Hey, where are the fertile elves
26:38
at? What kind of elves are you
26:41
talking about here? The fertile kind.
26:44
I rolled A1. I got a 10.
26:48
I got a 10 too or 10 also I. Was going to say that's called a
26:53
12. 10 too. That made me so mad.
27:01
I'm going to kiss you so hard, dude.
27:06
I got a 11. Wow, night out you go first.
27:10
Oh. Shit, I guess I can go see what
27:15
you're doing, or I can send thoughty's, you know, just
27:17
stronger. Are you commanding thoughty to
27:20
go? You're gonna send me?
27:22
I'm I'm asking. You're gonna ask you very.
27:24
Nicely asking you very nicely. OK, I can go down there to help
27:32
Coyote, since you asked nicely. Wait, did we figure out how he
27:35
won against you using Dexterity or did we just give up on that?
27:39
He like fondled my man titties and I blushed.
27:44
That's not Dexterity, he. Didn't even no, I used my
27:47
stealth to sneak up to fondle his man titties and he didn't
27:49
even notice I didn't. Yeah, he's like hit the
27:51
dexterity of his fingers fondling my man titties.
27:54
This made me be like, yeah, that's that put you at ease.
27:58
Jesus, you're a whore. You asked.
28:03
That's fair. I did ask.
28:04
Yeah, OK. Well, I mean, sis, yes, and I
28:06
see I'm going to head to the Southwest to investigate your
28:10
hysterical screaming. All right, you head down here,
28:14
you see hench men in Madison and Madison.
28:18
Does she Remember Me? She.
28:19
Doesn't Remember Me. She just walks by and she's, she
28:26
just slowly walks by you. She makes it to Northeast, she
28:31
makes it up to like baby bird and she just starts staring at
28:34
baby bird and she seems like she's kind of getting agitated.
28:38
She's just staring at him and her body starts clicking and
28:40
moving a little bit more erratic.
28:43
Yeah, I have this effect on women.
28:45
The creeper effect. Yeah.
28:49
Anyways I started blasting fuck and I just fire off and I miss
28:55
shooting this guy but I hit the dude behind him because
28:58
apparently there's a dude behind him.
29:00
Oh, for one point of damage I hit the dude in the back goon.
29:03
Yeah. Good Edie.
29:08
So it's their turn, they start firing at us.
29:11
Goon's going to fire at thoughty and misses, I think thoughty.
29:16
What's your ACI think it? Was pretty pretty high.
29:20
Let me double check. Pretty sure it's higher than a
29:22
fucking 13. Yeah, it's a 16.
29:26
Yeah, he fires and he hits Madison for one point of damage,
29:31
and then Madison starts. Getting mad what you done did.
29:36
Oh no, baby, are you all right? I would get the hell out of
29:40
there, baby. All right, I'm speaking from
29:45
experience. She is a rough lover.
29:48
Henchman fires at me, hits me. Damn it.
29:51
Damn sucker, 45 points of damage.
29:56
Jesus, Jesus. I'm hit.
30:00
Fuck. Oh, right, in the ovaries.
30:03
Pimp down. I put my hand on Madison.
30:08
I'm sorry I got to go help out these bozos.
30:11
She just kind of looks at you and.
30:13
Please, please give her a reaction.
30:16
In a in a zombie response and you walk by her and she takes
30:25
your place guarding the coffin. I wink at her as I walk by.
30:30
Does she smack them on the ass? Because that'd be pretty.
30:33
Cool. She does not.
30:34
However, as she's staring at the coffin, she's looking at Night
30:37
Owl intently. She's not getting erratic like
30:40
she was looking at baby birds. She's just staring at Night Owl.
30:43
Quizzically, quizzically, that's too big of a word for me.
30:47
Do I know this? Do I notice this?
30:50
It's not a word. No, you don't notice man, you're
30:53
like 15 feet away dealing with stuff and baby birds in between
30:56
us. Do you lucky bastard Night owl.
30:59
You're so lucky I didn't notice her checking you out.
31:02
You're lucky thought he does not like to met a game.
31:08
I play the game I was designed, all right?
31:12
So Baby Bird is right next to you thought he, he, he actually,
31:16
you know, he makes a little bit more southeast, he makes it down
31:18
here and goon and hench men are squaring up with us now,
31:22
starting back at the beginning night out.
31:24
What are you doing? Trying to figure out why she's
31:28
mean mugging the shit out of me. So you talk to her.
31:32
Hazy while this is happening and you hear gunshots in The Cave,
31:36
are you headed towards our direction or are you still just
31:38
looking around over there? It's like, Nope, fuck that hazy.
31:46
Are you watching UFC? He's watching somebody get the
31:50
brakes beat off of dude all. Right.
31:53
I'm going to make him. He's going to.
31:54
Hearing right now in this hotel, dude.
31:57
He's going to keep. Going I don't.
31:59
Think it's a fight? Well, no, he was going east.
32:02
Yeah. We'll just have him keep
32:03
trucking along that way. And, you know, no, we're just
32:05
going to put him there. You stay safe.
32:06
Don't go anywhere. Yeah, he's like.
32:09
However, because he's not paying attention, the one gentleman
32:13
that was laying on the ground next to him is gone.
32:17
He's a ninja. I knew he should have fucking
32:22
burned his body. Or, you know, tie him up like I
32:25
said. I mean, do you guys need help?
32:30
I guess I can go help or I can just stay here.
32:32
If you really don't need me, that's fine.
32:33
Are. You are you asking us is that
32:37
what's happening here? Yes, OK.
32:40
Going over the radio, is everything all right?
32:43
You might not want to come here because I have explosives.
32:46
I say over the radio, I go. I go, I go.
32:50
Yeah, why don't you leave the cash game?
32:52
Come down here and help us over. That's not what I asked.
32:57
I asked if you needed help yes or no.
33:02
I'm going to give you a soapy if you keep that up.
33:05
What? Hazy Why are you hearing
33:08
gunshots? Are you staying there?
33:10
Are you headed towards us? What you doing?
33:13
I was fully wanting to run towards y'all when I heard the
33:16
gunshots. OK, so that's about four.
33:19
I like two turns ago. We'll we'll put you 20 feet
33:22
towards us. OK, so I take that back.
33:26
It's not Thadi's turn, it's goon's turn.
33:29
And he's going to fire on me and he misses me and he goes right
33:32
between Thadi and I. Now night out.
33:35
What are you going to do? You going to ask us if we need
33:37
assistance? Yes.
33:39
Do you guys need my assistance? Only if you want to be
33:44
collateral damage for what I'm about to do.
33:47
With. The coffin.
33:53
OK. He's going full Muslim on us.
33:59
It's my turn. I blast again, and I missed baby
34:06
bird you. Are you instructing us to back
34:08
up? It's not my turn yet.
34:12
All right. Well, since I don't know, what
34:15
I'm going to do is I'm going to charge at the henchman directly
34:19
to the West. That the one named henchman,
34:24
plural. And it's one person.
34:26
Oh. I just, I just realized that
34:31
they have different names. Yeah, I'm going to go to
34:34
Henchman. All right, so you're going to
34:38
bull rush them. Hell yeah, baby.
34:42
So that's 20. Dirty 20.
34:46
Dirty 20 you hit him bow what's your damage?
34:52
D6. One point of damage, you hit
34:54
him. Do I at least like knock him
34:58
back or knock him on his ass or something?
35:00
I'm like, come on. Not at all.
35:02
You just knocked the one point of damage off him.
35:04
You hit him, you're like, hey, he's a pretty sturdy guy.
35:08
You guys could be friends even in another time in another
35:11
place. But not right now.
35:14
So henchman, Oh, he's going to fucking fire at you.
35:16
He's going to fire with advantage because you're on top
35:19
of him. Well shouldn't that be a
35:21
disadvantage since he's using a ranged weapon?
35:25
Grab his Dick and twist it. Doesn't matter, he misses any
35:30
hits. Baby bird 41 point of damage.
35:34
Baby bird, you're down to three. And he explodes like a creeper.
35:41
To explode a creeper. But not only that, hold on baby
35:45
bird, you take two more points of damage.
35:47
I died. Here at 1:00.
35:50
Oh. Ready to go take a break
35:52
somewhere? Yeah, no kidding.
35:55
OK, so that's it. And then Hazy moves along, and
35:59
Hazy sees one of the zombies here, and the zombies slowly
36:04
moving around. Hazy, You finally make it around
36:07
the corner and you see all of us, but you're really too far
36:11
away to see what's going on. You see a bunch of flashlights
36:13
and silhouetted bodies, but you do see like Sammy and Night Owl
36:17
in the coffin and Madison over here.
36:21
I'm going to, I want to continue following the blue zombie just,
36:25
you know, right behind him and just let him join the party and
36:29
just see what happens. OK, so yeah, you're just
36:32
following him. Let's see.
36:33
Oh, I guess the zombie comes over here and it takes Sammy and
36:37
throws them. Oh fuck.
36:44
I had no chance to stop that from happening.
36:47
What the fuck? None whatsoever.
36:49
And then the blue, I mean, he just moved him out of the way.
36:52
It's just Sammy's kind of a bitch.
36:53
And he has. So I was probably like he
36:56
deserved. It Sammy probably deserved it.
36:58
He was probably looking at him funny, but now the Blue Zombie
37:01
is looking at Night Owl weird. Let's give you a perception
37:05
role, Hazy. Yeah, why?
37:07
Why is the zombie looking weird at me?
37:09
Oh, a 17? Dang.
37:13
So you come around here and you notice the zombies who are
37:15
guarding the coffin are also just both staring at Night Owl.
37:19
Yeah, I don't like this. And they're not moving anymore
37:23
like they normally, you know, either swear they twitch
37:25
they're. He's about to get Eiffel
37:27
towered. They're both just calmly
37:30
watching him with axes at the ready, so do with that with what
37:35
you will. So I feel like that's the guy
37:37
they're listening to, right? I don't know.
37:42
I don't know why they listen to me.
37:43
I haven't told them do shit. Gun fires that baby bird and
37:48
misses, but he hits Sammy Sammy for two points of energy.
37:55
Why? That bitch.
37:59
These are my school clothes. There's all of them now.
38:03
Everybody gets a chuckle and then we.
38:05
Move. Everyone stops.
38:09
Loser. Well, I don't like the fact that
38:13
these zombies are sitting here next to me and they're not
38:16
moving, just looking at me. So maybe I can, maybe they'll
38:20
listen, I don't know, and try to talk to the zombies to go help
38:24
you guys. OK, give us a persuasion check.
38:30
So lovin. OK, what do you say to the
38:34
zombies? Hey you 2 that aren't doing
38:38
shit, how about you go help out a Dodian baby bird and I guess
38:44
coyote? Madison Swit takes a swing at
38:47
you and misses. What the shit?
38:50
But you back up and the blue zombie takes a swing at you and
38:54
he catches you 4. Oh no.
38:57
One point of damage the. Fuck.
39:00
Hazy, you take one point of damage.
39:03
What the fuck the hell did I do? Where'd you step on?
39:07
Hey, so you move up to the blue zombie, you see the blue zombie
39:10
attacking Night Owl and you see Madison swing and missing.
39:13
So keep that in mind for that just happened in front of you.
39:18
Yeah, I'm going to attack Henchman again.
39:21
Attack that henchman. 15. Oh, you hit baby?
39:26
What's damage? That will be another D6 silver
39:33
plated D6 if that matters. Does.
39:37
Silver plated what? Baby.
39:42
Fancy dice. What'd you get?
39:45
Five, unless the silver modifier does something to hench men.
39:51
I tell you what, you pull out that silver knife and just the
39:54
the sound it makes when it comes out swing.
39:57
Their brass knuckles. I'll cut your balls off when you
40:02
pull it out and the silver hits the air and it makes that
40:05
swinging noise. Hazy, you see Nidal's face
40:10
distort for a moment, back to normal.
40:15
Oh. Only Hazy sees it.
40:18
Oh, you're so fucking lucky. I'm focused on henchman.
40:24
OK, yeah, yeah. Oh, someone from the South is
40:27
coming. Hey thoughty you.
40:31
You're the only one that can see that.
40:32
You see a flashlight coming from the southwest.
40:36
Am I able to make out his face? No, it's just a silhouette right
40:39
now. Don't met a game?
40:42
Stay back, demon. I fire at the henchman and I
40:49
miss, but I caused some damage and it is going to be one night
40:54
out. You take one point of damage.
40:57
Oh, what the shit? What the fuck's firing at me?
41:03
Thoughty you actually hear night owl say what the shit southwest
41:06
of you? I quickly look over my shoulder
41:09
at the other night owl and I go. I fucking knew it.
41:12
He's an imposter. Thoughty the henchman's going to
41:18
swing at you with advantage because you turned your head to
41:20
look away from him. I can live with that.
41:24
It doesn't matter. Even when you didn't look like
41:27
you turned your head and he fired at you and it just like
41:29
barely grazed you, you almost caught the bullet with your
41:32
teeth. Whoa, that would.
41:34
Have been fucking cool like Bruce Leroy.
41:38
That would have been fucking cool.
41:40
Oh, that's tough. When I got shot, it brought me
41:44
to my knee. Shannon on the knees.
41:47
Knees. I'm gonna.
41:50
Make you bleed. And I have my hands down
41:53
clutching my sides but I pull out.
41:56
Whoa, whoa. Hold up. 2 packs AC. 40 OK.
42:01
I activate 2 fisted fury and I look up and I smirk at Duddy.
42:07
You guys should get out of here and I leap forward T posing A.
42:12
Single T rolls down my teek as we run the other direction IT
42:18
post through the air. C4.
42:20
Outstretched in both hands and I activate it.
42:24
OK, well that's a lot to do for one turn.
42:27
I will give you you pull out the stuff you get up to jump.
42:30
Yeah, but never forget the rule of cool.
42:34
I jumped from the crouching position.
42:37
He also gave us warning. So it you went NE 5 feet and you
42:42
pushed me 10 feet northeast away and he he pretty much took your
42:48
spot, but he doesn't explode yet.
42:51
He's about to next turn. You have to use grenades.
42:55
You're out of C4. I'm I'm doing this in slow
42:58
motion. Yeah, that's why they're all
43:00
staring at you. You're just like.
43:05
Adrian. All right, the Blue Zombie takes
43:10
another swing at Night Owl, whichever one this is.
43:14
The the only one. Oh, it misses.
43:18
Oh bitch. Yeah, I'm going to use my
43:21
grappling gun and shoot at the coffin and get it to like,
43:24
quickly try to come to me, right?
43:27
Sure. I mean, three people tried to
43:29
pick it up and nobody can move it, but I'm sure you could pull
43:31
it to you with a grappling gun. Oh, never mind.
43:34
Not bad. Moving, moving right along.
43:38
This. This is your conscience
43:39
whispering. That's a bad fucking idea.
43:42
It's not going to happen. I suddenly changed my mind and
43:46
instead of that. I just.
43:49
Aim at blue zombies. One good hand and I I really
43:53
like that axe so I'll want it. I'm going to shoot the grappling
43:56
hook at his axe or his arm or. Both.
44:01
OK, so that's your deck plus the two 'cause you're trying to
44:03
steal stuff. That's a Nat 20.
44:07
Oh. Damn, that's what.
44:09
I'm talking about yeah, go ahead, take that axe.
44:13
Explain to me in detail what happens.
44:16
Well, I'm going to like shoot it at his gripped hand and I'm
44:20
going to RIP his whole other arm off.
44:23
Now he has no arm and that's my axe.
44:27
Now I'm going to throw his arm onto the ground and keep that
44:29
axe. I like it.
44:31
Yeah, but you got a Nat 20, so you got to say something cool
44:33
like cut it out. Oh, I don't have any catch
44:39
phrases. Son of a bitch.
44:42
No, that's what he says. That's what he says.
44:44
Cut it out. Hands off.
44:46
No, he says. I don't have any.
44:47
Hands off Beautiful. That's good.
44:49
We'll go with. That one his.
44:52
Hands off. Which is dumb asses.
44:56
Goon actually pushes henchman out of the way so it's just goon
45:01
between you and him. Baby bird that knocks henchman
45:05
off so he doesn't Night owl by the coffin.
45:09
What's your move? Yeah, I'm.
45:11
I'm getting away from the coffin and.
45:15
Do you want to try and sneak away like a sleight of hand with
45:18
your Dicks? Yeah, yeah, just sneak away
45:26
Dirty 20. Right on, right on.
45:29
You sneak away, the zombies don't notice you because they're
45:32
both looking at Hazy, and you kind of just knock Sammy to the
45:34
ground. What the fuck are you, kid?
45:39
You disappear into the night. Right Shadow.
45:45
So that's fucking weird. The Blue Zombie doesn't even
45:48
care about you Hazy. It's both arms gone.
45:51
It's just kind of standing there.
45:52
And Madison is also just standing there.
45:54
The Blue Zombie just moves closer to the coffin.
45:57
I come down and I'm like, night out.
45:59
Do you have that nail? Yeah, why wouldn't I?
46:04
I like, I thought, I am like, this is the right night out, I
46:06
told you. What do you mean you told me I
46:11
smack you across the face? All right, all right, we're
46:15
doing we're going to do a stand off.
46:17
I'm going to use my use my intelligence.
46:21
Oh, I got a nine. Damn nerd.
46:25
What do you get? Oh yeah, hold on, let me roll.
46:28
I I forgot you. I'm rolling for myself now.
46:30
I'm I can roll for you. Here you go.
46:33
Shit, now you go ahead. Roll for yourself.
46:37
I got a 16 so it doesn't matter. All right, so you get mad
46:42
because I said that and I go actually, and then WHAP just
46:45
slapped me. What the fuck are you 2
46:47
fighting? What do you mean the right right
46:49
out? Don't worry about it, cutie pie,
46:52
Come over here and give Daddy a kiss.
46:55
Dottie, were you fucking cheating on me?
46:59
Guys, hear me out. Instead of having a sleepover,
47:04
let's have a freak over. No, we're not doing that, baby.
47:07
We're blow up 15. That hits everybody.
47:13
Oh, who's everybody? Transmission lost.
47:22
Team status unknown.