Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S3 Ep21: Trevor's Take: 15 Global Minutes 🤣

Transcript

S3 Ep21: Trevor's Take: 15 Global Minutes 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_05: What I do when I travel is I try to speak to people in their accent and see if they can catch me out.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_05: It's one of my favorite games.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_05: Like I'd walk into a store in Edinburgh and I'd just be like, Good afternoon.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: I would like to buy a pair of shoes.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm from Scotland.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: I what part?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: Johannesburg.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_05: When people say they don't like immigrants, most of the time they're not referring to immigrants who look and sound like them.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_05: They're talking about immigrants who speak differently, who look different.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_05: You know?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_05: Because an accent comes with a connotation.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_05: You think you know if someone is smart or stupid because of their accent.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_05: And yet the truth is an accent is not a measure of intelligence, it's just someone speaking your language with the rules of theirs.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_05: Accents have connotations, we cannot deny it.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_05: Look at the French.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_05: We all believe that the French are romantic.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_05: Why?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_05: Because of their accents.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_05: They've got that thing.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was thinking that maybe we could uh how you say afterwards, maybe we could try to.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, he's so sexy.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_05: Accents determine how we see people.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_05: Same thing happens with the Russians.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_05: The Russians, the most feared people on the planet.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_05: Why?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_05: Because of how they speak.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_05: I don't care who you are, you cannot deny that when a Russian speaks, you are not comfortable.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: Soon as they open their mouths, yeah, go to kill you, break you.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_05: Even if they say nice things, it still sounds menacing and dangerous.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, fluffy rabbits and teddy bears.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_05: Happy Valentine's Day.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_05: Sounds like a threat.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_05: You must remember, I I come from an African country, and all over Africa we have traffic lights, but we don't use them.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_05: Right?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_05: It's less of a command and more of a suggestion.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_05: It's not stop, it's stop.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_05: It's almost like it, you know what it's like?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_05: It's almost like an African traveled the world, saw that other people had traffic lights, and then just brought them back, but didn't know what they were for.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_05: Like the guy was just like, guys, guys, guys, we need to get traffic lights, huh?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_05: And people were like, what for?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_05: It's for the intersection.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_05: It adds atmosphere.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_05: I went to Bali on vacation, yeah?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_05: Out in Indonesia.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: If you've never been, make a plan and get out there.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: It's an amazing place.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I went out with some of my friends, learned a few things about myself as a person.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: Most important thing I learned is somebody needs to invent a trip advisor specifically for black people.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: Right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: No, because just generally I find that what white people want to do on vacation is what black people are trying to escape.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_05: And not in a bad way, it's just like we want different things out of life, you know?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like my wife friends are always inviting me camping, for instance.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_05: Always.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_05: Like with enthusiasm, we're all like, Trevor, you want to go camping, dude?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, why?
• 3:24
  unknown: Why?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_05: It's like, dude, what do you mean, why?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_05: It's amazing.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: You're kidding me?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: It's like no water, no electricity, you know?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_05: It's just like us in the great outdoors.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_05: You like you gotta like take a dump in the like in the hole in the floor or something, dude?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, yeah, that was my life.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_05: That was me growing up.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_05: You know how hard I worked to never go camping again?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: Every day.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_04: Every day.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: Every day I wake up in my bed and I'm like, thank god I'm not camping.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: If my family saw pictures of me camping, they would be devastated.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: My grandmother saw me out in the woods, she'd be like, oh, what happened to Trevor?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I thought you were successful.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it must be the crack.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_05: Before we went, I asked my friend, I was like, yo, Mitch, what are we gonna be doing?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_05: And he was like, dude, don't ask questions, Trevor.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_05: It's just gonna be a great time.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, yeah, I want to know what the great time is gonna be about.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, dude, don't ask questions.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_05: I should have asked questions.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_05: Because we had fun, but the trip, like there were a few things that were weird that I wouldn't uh necessarily do on my own.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_05: Uh for instance, on the third day of the trip, right, we we had what was planned, what was built in our itinerary as uh an authentic Balinese experience.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_05: All right, that's what they called it, an authentic Balinese experience.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_05: And what they did was they woke us up at 5 a.m., put us in a little bus, and we drove for like three hours.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_05: And when we got there, I get out of the bus, we're like in the middle of a remote village, and the little tour guide, really happy, way too happy for that time.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_05: And he's like, Welcome, everybody! Are you ready for a good time?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, Yeah.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_05: And so he's like, My name is Deng Bassan, and I'm going to be your guide.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_05: Today, you will have an authentic Balinese experience.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_05: So exciting! Follow me.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_05: And so we follow him, and he walks up to a little door, and I'm like, Oh, okay, this is gonna be like a temple or a cave or something, and he's like, Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the real Bali.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_05: And he opens the door into somebody's house.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_05: This is not a museum house, this is just a house.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_05: Like, someone lives there every single day.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_05: He opens the door and he's like, This is the home of someone in Bali.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_05: He eats here, he sleeps here.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, does he know we're here?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_05: Because, like, we didn't knock, nobody answered the door.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_05: For all I know, we're breaking and entering right now.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_05: We're in some weird Balinese gang.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know how this works.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_05: And as I'm about to ask the question, he turns and he's like, Over here, you can see the owner of the house! He's in the corner.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_05: And we turn and there's a man the whole time.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_05: He was just sitting there, forced the stiff.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_05: And now I'm like, is this guy part of this?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know if we should be doing this or should not be doing this.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_05: And Deng Basan turns to me, starts speaking to me in Balinese.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Dengarawada, Sangara Ka.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, Okay, you can touch anything.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_05: And so I'm like, oh no, I don't think we should.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_05: Before I can even finish, the people in our two group are like, yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Touch it all.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, touch it all.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, does he sleep here?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, is this where he eats?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I can never do this.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Excuse me.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having us.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I appreciate my life so much more right now.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is horrible.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Can we take a selfie?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Are you in Instagram?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just put hashtag the man.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_05: This is like something culturally I'm not supposed to be doing.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_05: As an African person, I should not be in somebody's house rummaging through their life.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm standing in the corner, really uncomfortable.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_05: And and the the the owner of the house, he's he's he's really accommodating, he's friendly, you know, he's like, yes, thank you, enjoy, enjoy, thank you.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_05: And then he turns and he looks at me.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_05: And this was one of the most magical moments, right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_05: Because he was smiling at everyone else, and his face completely changed when he turned.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_05: And with his eyes, he proceeded to have the most in-depth conversation with me that I've ever had.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_05: And it's not like it's not like the eyes conversation was new to me.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_05: Like you can have an eyes conversation with anyone you have a connection with.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I'm talking about?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like it could be somebody of the same race when you're in public.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_05: Uh it could be like a husband and wife, like, wives are really good at having eyes conversations.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_05: Like they'll like they'll shit on you hard, like you'll be in public together, and then you'll say something off, you'll be like, if only she did that, and she'll be like, oh hell no, I cannot believe you said all of that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_05: But it's just eyes.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_05: I cannot believe you said all of that.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_05: Wait until the next, oh, you want to air our dirty laundry out in public, or you're gonna see how this is gonna end up.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, you say this and enjoy this moment right now, because you know it's over.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_05: And you're like, Yeah, I shouldn't have done that.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_05: I all with eyes, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_05: That's what he did to me.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_05: Because one minute he's smiling at everybody, and then he turns and he looks at me, and just with these eyes, he was like, What are you doing here?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_05: And so with my eyes, I was like, Hey man, I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your house.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_05: They said it was an authentic experience, that's why I came.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, Yeah, authentic for white people.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_05: You got your own poor, go back to where you came from.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_05: So, yeah, I shouldn't be here, man.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry, man.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_05: If you expanded your view, you realized that the rise of nationalism is taking place all over the world.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_05: In Austria, in Australia, in England, that was what Brexit was all about, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_05: They made it seem like it was about the economy, but it wasn't.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_05: The truth was, it was fundamentally people who wanted their country back.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_05: It never went anywhere, but they still wanted it back.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: I saw people on the news talking to the BBC.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_05: That's that's why I'm voting for Brexit.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_05: That's why I'm voting for Brexit, right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_05: Because because this bloody country, this bloody country is going to the dogs, right?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_05: This bloody country, and I want Britain back.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_05: That's why we're voting for Brexit, because we want Britain back.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_05: From who?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_05: From who?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_05: Britain is like 95% white.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_05: Who do you want it back from?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_05: People saying the weirdest things, the craziest things.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_05: These bloody immigrants, they come over here, they they're up to no good, right?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_05: I hate these bloody immigrants, they need to go back to where they came from.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_05: But why do you hate them so much?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_05: I hate, I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why, right?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_05: Because they're not even trying to be British.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_05: That's why.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_05: They don't even try to be British, right?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_05: They come here, they bring their own bloody culture, right?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_05: They bring their own food, speak their own bloody languages, try to take over the whole bloody place.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_05: Well, that sounds British to me.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_04: I mean if there's one country, if there's one nation in the world that has no right to complain about immigration, it's Great Britain.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_05: I also understand that for me it is a little bit different.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I have a privilege in that I come from a country where the word nigger was never used to oppress anybody.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I mean we had another word, because we have the best racism, come on now, but not that word.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_05: The word we had was the word kafir or kafir.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_05: So we had another word, same thing.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_05: It's crazy to me as well sometimes.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_05: You know, same racism, different word.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_05: And here it means nothing, right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_05: Kafir?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_05: Kafir?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_05: Nothing.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_05: Some people are like, is that like a probiotic?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_05: Is that what that is?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, probiotic of my pain.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_05: Because we don't have that in our supermarkets for obvious reasons.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_05: No one warned me in America.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_05: I walk down the dairy aisle, I was like, oh, yoga and ice cream.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_04: Oh this lactose is intolerant.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_05: I still can't believe the things Donald Trump says.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_05: He's such a.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_05: For me, Donald Trump is an emotional paradox.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not gonna lie.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_05: Logically, I can process him.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_05: Emotionally, I struggle.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_05: On the one hand, I will admit I wake up many days terrified at the notion that he's president of the most powerful nation in the world.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_05: But I also must admit I wake up many days knowing he's gonna make me laugh.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's terror and there's joy, and I don't know how to feel.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_05: You know what it feels like sometimes?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_05: It feels like there's a giant asteroid headed towards the earth, but it's shaped like a penis.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_05: Like I think I'm gonna die, but I know I'm gonna laugh.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_05: I had the pleasure of meeting uh President Obama while he was still in office.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_05: Probably one of the craziest experiences I've ever had in my life.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I was came out of nowhere, came out of nowhere.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_05: I I was at the daily show, I was in my office, and I got a phone call from the administration.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_05: And someone on the other end was like, Hi Trevor, would you like to interview the president of the United States in the White House?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, uh, do you ask stupid questions?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, Of course I want to meet the president of the United States.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_05: Are you serious?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_05: And um the day finally came.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_05: Went to DC with my TV crew, and they set us up in a room which is literally opposite the Oval Office.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_05: Put all our cameras in place, and all we're doing now is waiting for the president to arrive.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_05: So we're staring at the door with bated breath.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_05: And the reason we're staring is because they don't give you an exact time of the president's arrival for his safety, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_05: So they just give you a window, like the cable guy.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_05: So we're all waiting there, listening to every footstep, every moment.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_05: And then he just popped in behind us, scared the shit out of everybody.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because there's a secret door, but they don't tell you, again, for safety, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_05: So we're staring at that door, and all of a sudden he was like, uh, hello.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, ah.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_05: But I I had a great time in the interview with him.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_05: He was really, really kind to everyone in the room, and and then we turned off the cameras, and I promise you, he became even nicer.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_05: We just had a conversation.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_05: I thought he was gonna leave.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, he's president of the United States, you've got to go do something.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_05: And he just chilled for a bit, you know, and we spoke as human beings, and it went really well until he turned to me and he said, uh Trevor, you know, I uh actually I got a I got a show that I'm doing in a few weeks, a little uh little thing that I thought maybe you'd want to pop by and uh perform, if you don't mind.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_05: So Mr.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_05: President, I would I would be honored.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_05: You just let me know when and where.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_05: What what what's the show gonna be for, sir?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_05: He said, Oh, well, Trevor, I'm doing a little thing for my AIDS, and I thought uh maybe you'd want to be there.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_05: I said, I I would love to.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you, thank you.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_05: I'm I'm sorry, a show for what?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_05: For my AIDS, Trevor.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_05: Said uh you have AIDS.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_05: And then and then he he explained what he meant.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_05: And I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_05: Because I had just looked at the president of the United States and asked him if he had AIDS.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_05: And you know what the worst thing is, is that he was nice to me as well?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_05: Because I said that and then he explained, and then I was like, I'm so sorry, Mr.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_05: President.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't mean that.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_05: I don't even know why I thought it's just like you said AIDS and like the AIDS, and you know, because here's the thing, in my defense, in my defense, right, I get it now.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_05: He means AIDS, as in the White House AIDS, the people who help the president.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_05: I get it now.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_05: But in my defense, where I'm from, AIDS is some other shit that doesn't help anybody.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_05: No one in Africa is walking around like, let me introduce you to my AIDS, huh?