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Creating Mindset Goals for Success and Happiness with GW Cliver · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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  things that really matter in our lives.
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  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
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  Hi, everyone.
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  This is Roxanne Durgesh of Authentic Living with Roxanne.
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  Thanks so much for tuning in again this week.
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  This week, I have a colleague, GW Cliber that's joining us today, and GW has been, working with
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  mindset for a very long time.
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  And, when our paths cross, we have, a coach that we use in common.
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  I thought it would be very important for us to talk, and we can never stop learning about
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  mindset.
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  So, GW, thanks for coming on today.
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  Yes, ma'am.
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  It's my pleasure.
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  So let's I'm gonna tell you a little bit about GW, and then we're gonna jump into it.
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  GW speaks to organizations that want to inspire their employees to achieve their goals, and be
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  at pre performance daily, which is something that I know we all want to be able to harness
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  that that that that capacity.
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  He's an expert on the subject who gives out, information as much as he can.
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  We know that we all need a GW Cliver with us, more than ever.
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  He has done lots of different things.
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  He's been featured, and newspapers used to have a radio show on PBS He's done podcast and
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  television, which is, you know, that's that's, pretty impressive.
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  He's written about 50 booklets on self help as well as 2 books, answers for life and the
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  secrets of life and is working on his third book which he just showed me the mock up cover,
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  which is kind of neat conquering life from victims to conquer, and he's working on it.
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  So he's Have you is there anything I missed that you maybe wanna share, about your
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  background that you think people should know?
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  No.
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  You did fine.
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  You did excellent.
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  Thank you.
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  It's excellent.
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  Thank you.
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  Okay.
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  So let's so let's talk a little bit about what got you kind of involved in this kind of work?
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  What what made you want to make a difference?
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  I have no idea exactly how to answer that.
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  You know, they say that people who, who get into being a doctor were hurt or damaged or saw
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  someone being repaired?
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  Well, I don't know what does that mean that I have a a weird mind?
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  And so I get in there to find out about the mine.
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  But the reality is when I was in a business, I had a business, and I had to go out sell people
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  things.
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  I did furniture.
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  I had to be able to go out there and convince them that I was their best solution for their
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  need.
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  Mhmm.
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  Well, that requires looking at the mine and seeing how the mine work and being able to know
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  men, I mean, mankind and able to see.
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  Now how are they standing?
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  What is their action What was that showing me that they think about the issue?
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  How do I change that?
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  Why does it matter?
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  You know, that kind of stuff.
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  Because, well, very fascinating to me.
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  And so about 20 years ago, I started studying people and and to study people means you study
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  the mind.
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  Why do you do what you do?
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  Is it just are you just what has happened to you in the past, and there's nothing to do
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  about that.
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  You know, these kind of issues.
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  And so they they came to very interesting conclusions, which you continue to grow and
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  study and learn.
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  You know?
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  So what did what did you start to figure out about people?
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  In business.
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  You stay you know, I think about it.
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  Right?
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  Like, most of us sometimes we don't know what we need.
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  Right?
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  And when you're, you know, you're going out there and you think you kinda know what you
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  need and when you're trying to deliver a product or or or have an interaction, sometimes
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  people aren't aware of what's really going on for what did you start to learn about people
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  or lead
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  your w that made you think?
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  First of all, you have to know about yourself.
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  You have to understand yourself.
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  And you have to make sure that what you're going wanting to give the person is, 1st of
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  all, of value and in their best interest.
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  If not, then there is no point in trying to sell it you can't do it.
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  Okay.
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  Yeah.
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  So in order to do that, you have to make what you're going to do for them of a good quality.
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  Say, so you have to listen to the criticisms Allow it to change what you do.
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  Don't take it personally.
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  People are not people are never about you.
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  They're always about themselves.
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  That's just the way people are.
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  Mhmm.
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  Because we're selfish by nature.
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  Okay?
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  So when you're out there doing something with other people, don't think a purse even if they
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  get mad, even if they throw things or try to hit you It's not about you.
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  It's about them.
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  Yeah.
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  And they're for themselves.
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  They're not just against you.
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  It's just simple as that.
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  So once you understand that, then you can help them move toward what they need more than
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  anything else.
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  So you can sell them what you have.
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  Does that make sense?
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  So when you're Absolutely.
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  So
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  So when you're, when you're wanting to accomplish, something yourself, if you don't
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  know who you are, and you don't know what's going on, and you're not gonna be able to
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  change who you are.
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  It you've got to fit into a different pack could if you're wanting to be somebody
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  different.
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  Let me give you an example.
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  Let's say you had a guy and he you go over to STEM and you go in his apartment and you look
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  and man, he has every single piece of trash he's ever had, he doesn't throw it away.
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  He just throws it in the in the room.
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  And so you got a little path to the kitchen, you know, a little path to the bathroom, a
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  little path to the bedroom because trash is everywhere.
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  And so he comes up to you one day, and he says, man, he says, I just found a new apartment.
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  It's over in this nice division over here and been so nice and spacious and clean.
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  And so he moves into that new apartment, but he doesn't change who he is.
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  What do you think is gonna be in that new apartment within just a a short one.
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  It is gonna be full of trash.
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  Right?
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  Okay.
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  So he
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  has with a little pass again.
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  To the room.
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  That's it.
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  Yeah.
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  He's got to first see who he is before he can change what he wants to accomplish.
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  Because his he now first of all, he has to have the responsibility.
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  Responsibility means I'm responsible and have the ability to change.
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  I have to have to I have the ability to respond correctly to life situations.
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  Mhmm.
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  Okay.
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  That's responsible.
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  So then He has to decide, well, what's my philosophy about this?
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  What do we know about him when he has trash everywhere?
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  His philosophy is he doesn't care what it looks like.
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  He doesn't care what it smells like.
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  He doesn't care about anything, but himself, he isn't going to work at all.
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  So he's got to change that philosophy about it before he can ever get into anything else.
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  He can't set goals He can't say that.
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  He has to change who he believes he is.
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  What drives his behavior?
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  Your philosophy drives your behavior.
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  Mhmm.
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  And then he has to decide if that's true, then How what is my attitude going to be?
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  Because his attitude is a reflection of his philosophy.
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  It is the where what he the laws he sets up on himself.
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  I won't do this.
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  I won't do that.
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  You know, a guy who's on that.
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  He goes around in the store, and he says, that's not me.
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  That's not me.
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  That's not me.
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  Or if he if he doesn't do that, he goes, oh, maybe maybe I can have one of those while he's
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  lost.
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  You know, he's he's never gonna lose weight.
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  So The attitude has to reflect what he's decided he is, even though neither one of them
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  are true at the moment.
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  Mhmm.
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  See, but he understands this takes time.
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  It's not it is a path.
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  It is not a destination.
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  Success is a path, not the destination.
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  Okay?
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  So when we come to our goals there, the goals we write down, the wishes that we write down
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  give our subcon ships.
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  The the, the it gives them the, permission to bring about what we've decided we wanted to be.
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  Now it's interesting.
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  The the mind is divided into basically 2 things.
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  The conscious mind and the subconscious mind.
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  Now I've got a couple of pictures here I'll show you because I'm not a technical wizard.
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  I'll just show you.
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  The mine's designed in 2 different parts.
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  You've got the day to day conscious, what's what's on your what you did yesterday, what's
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  on your mind today, and what's coming up tomorrow.
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  Okay?
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  Right.
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  And then you've got the subconscious month.
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  And the subconscious mind looks like it's real, confusing, but the reality is it drives 95 set
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  of what you do every single day.
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  So if you want a different today, you've got to change your subconscious mind.
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  And what's going on is you have chosen a solution to your problem, and your subconscious
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  might automatically goosene.
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  Whenever I did furniture reupholstery, I had to learn how to use my hangers.
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  I had to learn how to sell.
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  I had to learn all these things.
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  And those things are stored in the subconscious mind.
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  All the things you've ever smelled.
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  You've ever learned how to write, how to point your finger, how to, react when somebody says
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  something or does something.
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  Are all stored inside the subconscious mind.
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  And it doesn't matter whether it Right or not is still there.
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  So let's say when you were a child, you, you got scared.
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  And a solution you decided on when you were a child was to run and hide.
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  Then that became your solution.
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  And if you agreed with it consciously when your subconscious mind brought it up, Every time it
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  brought it up, it became a habit that you no longer are in control of.
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  It's just going to come out.
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  I knew this guy one time who would turn around and hit somebody behind if if he was goose You
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  know, somebody come up behind him and goosene, he'd turn around and smack them in the face.
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  And so people would wait to those along the line and they'd sneak up there and they goosene
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  and hit the run, hit the guy behind him.
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  This is not a a reaction.
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  This is a habit, and it's a habit because he has wanted to keep it.
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  He hasn't found hard to get rid of it.
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  Does it make sense?
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  So Absolutely.
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  So so the the subconscious mind right, is is let's say it's 95% of our behavior.
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  So, you know, when you hear everybody talking about setting goals, And, you know, they make
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  this, you know, let's talk with the new let's talk with the New Year's resolution goals.
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  Right?
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  And and, you know, people go and they start to have all these lofty things and then, you know,
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  come, what, my birthday, January 15th, my January 15th, they're like, oh, yeah.
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  I had that goal, but, you know, it's kinda gone off the window.
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  Yep.
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  Yep.
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  And most people, their their goals fall down because the sub to your point, what's happening
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  with that when people can't keep their goals?
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  Why why is that?
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  What?
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  It's not the goal.
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  We've got to go back.
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  It's the responsibility.
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  It's the philosophy, and it's the attitude.
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  It's not the goal.
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  You have to conquer those things first because the habit is strong.
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  It's a it's a powerful habit.
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  I mean, it's not a good habit, but it's a powerful, strong habit.
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  And if you want a new habit, they're weak and poor.
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  And so your conscious mind has got to hold that old habit back and make your allow your new
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  habit to grow.
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  With exercise.
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  And we know this is true.
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  You go near the gym and you exercise.
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  You're actually gonna grow.
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  Because a muscle grows by giving it, resistance.
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  So it does in your mind.
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  Your habits grow by resistance.
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  And so you choose the habits you want to have.
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  How do you do that?
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  First by saying, okay.
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  I'm responsible for me.
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  What I'm doing today, I'm responsible.
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  I can't blame it on my mother.
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  I can't blame it on my color.
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  I can't blame it on society.
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  I can't blame it on the year in which I was born, boy, which I was born a 100 years go.
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  I would've had a really great time.
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  Oh, come on.
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  You can't you can't go back.
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  You can't go forward.
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  You have to take responsibility.
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  Then you have to decide what you want to accomplish and make this your philosophy.
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  This is who I am.
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  And then your attitude has to reflect that.
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  I'm not that.
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  I'm not gonna let myself do that.
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  I'm not gonna be that kind of person anymore, and it is a constant daily buffeting that you
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  have to do.
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  Before you ever get to the dough,
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  Yeah.
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  Most most people set goals, but they don't look at the things that are gonna trip them up.
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  They don't do the groundwork.
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  Yeah.
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  So talk let's talk a little bit about the groundwork because I know about mindsets, you
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  know, Like, to your to your point, and I I completely believe that my my first book, is
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  based on completely on on relationships.
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  It's called a therapist insider's side, healing
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  the gas,
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  and it talks a little bit about it's it's based on my life, GW.
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  And I looked at the blind spots that I had have a phenomenal life always did, but there was one
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  particular area where I had a blind spot.
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  Where, you know, everything else was good, but this one spot I was blocked, and I I I really
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  what I did is I analyze my own life so that other people can see what I had experienced
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  because, see, I had created this phenomenal life, but my personal life was not good.
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  Because I ignored certain things that I didn't want to deal with.
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  Mhmm.
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  Mhmm.
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  And you said you ignored they're Absolutely.
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  I did.
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  Thank you.
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  In other
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  words, you purposefully set yourself up to fail again and Right.
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  And I don't think that I I don't I would say that to your point of between the conscious and
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  con unconscious.
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  I consciously knew it, but my I was, you know, my unconscious.
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  I just anything that showed itself, I just shelved it.
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  I thought I I mean, I put a different thought in place.
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  I thought that, you know, I thought, oh, yeah.
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  Well, it's gonna get better when or whatever.
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  And Then what ended up happening is things ended up creeping an up long story short after
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  25 years of marriage.
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  I ended my marriage after 25 years, but it wasn't based on you know, I I had to look back
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  from when I was wee, way, way back to look at the patterns that I had developed and personal
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  relationships and how I allowed certain things to come about that I could 25 years later kind
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  of be to make.
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  It was it was, you know, the best thing for me.
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  Okay.
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  So now let's take let's now the laws are the same.
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  The laws are set.
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  Right.
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  So let's do the economy for a minute.
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  Let's get out of personal relationships.
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  Let's go to economy.
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  Yeah.
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  What is it that gives you reward.
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  Mhmm.
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  What gives you reward?
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  It's risk.
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  Risk gives you the reward.
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  When the mouse looks out of his hole and he sees the cat, but he wants the cheese.
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  He will risk the camp to get to the cheese.
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  Otherwise, he will die of starvation.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  Okay.
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  Now take that same set of laws and put it into your your own mind.
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  And if you consciously continuously put that aside, You are being not courageous, not
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  risking, but settling for way less than 2nd best because you don't want to be
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  uncomfortable.
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  In fact, you're choosing the pain you want to have in your life.
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  Mhmm.
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  Because the unknown is scared Oh, absolutely.
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  It is.
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  Yeah.
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  To do something else is scary.
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  But for in your case, To be alone again, that's scary.
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  Mhmm.
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  To have all the responsibility on you is scary.
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  Mhmm.
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  So you take a kid, a kid who lives with his mother and father.
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  And he he gets to high school.
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  He's graduated from high school.
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  He's ready to go out the world and make his mark, and he goes out, and he rents his new
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  apartment.
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  And all night long, he's scared.
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  He's gotta play music all night.
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  To keep the lights on.
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  And he goes to work and he comes home and he realizes all these bills are coming in.
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  I've got to pay for these I have to go to work.
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  I cannot work, and it scares him.
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  So he has 2 options.
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  The first option is he can run back home to mother and daddy.
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  But the reason he left mother and daddy was because they couldn't they wouldn't let him do
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  this, and they wouldn't let him do that.
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  And he had dreams of doing this and that.
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  And he couldn't do it under their laws because that was their house.
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  And when you're under somebody else's laws, you have to them.
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  You cannot please yourself.
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  So he sells his possible future for security.
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  So here's what we're doing.
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  You were doing.
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  What anybody does?
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  They sell their hopes and dreams.
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  For the pain they already know, instead of having the pain that they just can't
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  understand.
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  Yeah.
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  Because most people would you with the kind of work that I've done as well, if if let's say
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  it's been pain from when they're young, they don't override that pain as an adult.
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  They kind of if they haven't done something a bit different to deal with that pain, to your
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  point.
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  Right?
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  You're gonna move back in to that pain because it's familiar.
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  It may not be good for you, but it's familiar.
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  And change means that I have to get comfortable with the unfamiliar.
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  That's right.
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  And and all of life is pain.
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  So what you need to do is choose the pain that moves you forward to what you want.
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  Mhmm.
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  You you can't choose to live without pain.
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  There's no such
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  Right.
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  Okay?
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  So you choose the pain that moves you forward, not the pain that holds you back.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Now What would what would the kid need to do when he's in his own home?
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  It or his own apartment or wherever it is.
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  In order to conquer his fears, what does he need to do?
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  He needs to think about what he wants to become.
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  Mhmm.
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  Not think backwards of what he had had.
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  Right.
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  Fear looks backwards.
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  When we're afraid, we look backwards for security for safety.
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  Hope looks forward.
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  Yeah.
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  So we so we look forward with it.
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  Well, if Yeah.
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  I'm I'm scared to be here and do this.
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  I tell you what I do.
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  Let's go look.
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  Let's go walk around in some car dealership and see what kind of car I like to have in the
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  future.
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  Let's drive around and see what kind of houses I really want to live in.
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  That I can produce myself.
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  I know I can because I got this job.
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  I can certainly get another job or grow in this job.
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  So this is where the where the attitude has to take over and keep the philosophy alive.
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  And say, that's who I am.
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  That's who I am.
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  You see what I'm saying?
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Then the goals become real goals.
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  Because the goals then give the permission because here's what's going on in your
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  subconscious mind.
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  Your subconscious mind is bringing forward to your conscious mind, what you consider to be
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  comfortable.
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  So let's say let's say a person had been abused in the past.
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  And today, they they they they dwell on this.
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  They think men is just horrible has happened to me.
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  And and they replay this going on in their mind and thinking that they are worthless because of
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  this.
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  When what they should be doing is shutting that down by their conscious mind.
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  And saying to themselves, no.
• 23:25
  I'm better than that, and I'm never going to let them bother me again.
• 23:30
  I'm never gonna let them rule me again, or do that to me again.
• 23:36
  But when you play it over and over and over, you let them live today.
• 23:39
  Even though that person may be dead and not even around.
• 23:43
  Mhmm.
• 23:45
  So for me, I have to consciously Now hold back that evil habit.
• 23:55
  Step out there and do this new habit, and it'll take and it's got and you're gonna mess up
• 23:59
  because because it's new, like a baby trying to walk.
• 24:04
  You know, like, the first time I have a son who, or, we adopted.
• 24:08
  I 22 foster kids.
• 24:10
  And one of my adopted and his special needs.
• 24:13
  And so he was wobbling around there about 5 or 6 months, you know, he's walking on furniture,
• 24:21
  you know, how it is.
• 24:23
  And he fell and hit his teeth and pushed him through his lip and cut himself pretty bad.
• 24:29
  Well, him will walk him on.
• 24:31
  You know, it took a long time for him to wanna Right.
• 24:35
  But if he never got up and started walking again, could you imagine he's forty years old
• 24:40
  today.
• 24:40
  Could you imagine him still being in diapers and laying on the floor and not doing anything
• 24:46
  because he Well, of course, you would never consider that would be possible.
• 24:51
  Right.
• 24:52
  Right.
• 24:52
  But people out there who are still in their psychological diapers because they're ready to
• 25:00
  be heard again.
• 25:01
  G w, your recent book that you're working on talks, you talk a lot about how you go from a
• 25:08
  victim, to a to a conqueror.
• 25:11
  Let's talk because, like, again, like you said, mindsets Like, I always say you're right.
• 25:16
  Pain life is pain, but I always say life not need not be suffering.
• 25:20
  That's I always say that, when I coach people, you know, you can you can make a decision not
• 25:26
  to have suffering.
• 25:27
  We will always have pain, and you can you can override the pain to kind of get where you need
• 25:32
  to get.
• 25:34
  That being said, how do you let's talk about how you do that.
• 25:39
  How do you go from victim to conquer?
• 25:42
  Okay.
• 25:43
  The it has to be that, 1st of all, you have to want it.
• 25:47
  Oh, here's.
• 25:49
  My my table of contents.
• 25:51
  I couldn't find my table of contents.
• 25:54
  Oh.
• 25:54
  You know, you don't have a table of contents.
• 25:56
  You don't have a continuous proper And then you have all you have to do is break it down.
• 26:02
  But the reality is you have to realize, okay, you can't get out of a prison.
• 26:08
  You don't know your That's pretty simple.
• 26:13
  And when you're in this prison in your mind, You have to be able to get out of it or to be
• 26:20
  free to succeed.
• 26:22
  If you're if you're not free, You can't become.
• 26:28
  So the first thing you have to realize is that I am stuck where I am, not because of anybody
• 26:36
  else or anything that's happening with me, but because of me.
• 26:40
  Mhmm.
• 26:40
  That's the key Key thing.
• 26:43
  So you have to take a look at what it is that's holding me back.
• 26:47
  Is it is it my physical limitation?
• 26:49
  My social limitations?
• 26:51
  My self imposed limitations, the circumstantial limitations of, you know, like, save my color
• 26:55
  or whatever.
• 26:56
  What is this holding me back?
• 26:58
  Why does the guy constantly fall back on and you gotta get rid of that?
• 27:03
  Mhmm.
• 27:04
  And what I mean by getting rid of that is you to reprogram purposely yourself so that you can
• 27:11
  start thinking of another way to do it.
• 27:14
  You have to change your habitual thoughts.
• 27:18
  Your self talk.
• 27:19
  Oh my goodness talk about something important.
• 27:23
  So you get this new dress?
• 27:25
  Well, I've never bought a new dress for me.
• 27:28
  I have.
• 27:30
  I bought it from my wife.
• 27:32
  She doesn't really like my choice, but, anyway, so, I get this new if you go out and buy a new
• 27:39
  dress and you put it on and you go to the party and everything and someone that says to you,
• 27:45
  oh, Mine, you look so beautiful today.
• 27:50
  I just love that dress.
• 27:51
  And you say what?
• 27:55
  What would you say?
• 27:56
  I'd say thank you very much.
• 27:58
  That's right.
• 27:59
  That's right.
• 27:59
  That's what that's that's
• 28:00
  a that's a beautiful compliment.
• 28:03
  What does someone say who doesn't have self worth?
• 28:10
  That's exactly right.
• 28:11
  Oh, it's it's not that nice.
• 28:13
  It's not the one I wanted, but it's the one it was on sale.
• 28:17
  Right?
• 28:17
  Right.
• 28:18
  Right.
• 28:18
  Right.
• 28:18
  Right.
• 28:19
  Minimizing it.
• 28:20
  Yeah.
• 28:20
  So this is what we do.
• 28:23
  We destroy it by ourselves.
• 28:25
  We but we, actually, destroy our chances of success.
• 28:32
  Mhmm.
• 28:32
  Okay.
• 28:33
  And so the first thing we have to do then is change those old habits, and it's just a habit.
• 28:40
  It comes up automatically.
• 28:42
  Yeah.
• 28:43
  Because 95%, what you do is gonna be a habit.
• 28:46
  In other words, something you've already decided today before even today starts.
• 28:53
  You decided it over a period of time that you've agreed with all this time, and now it's
• 29:01
  just Who you are?
• 29:03
  So I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna play devil's advocate for a sec.
• 29:05
  I'm gonna say, you know what, on GW, I, you know, I had a horrible upbringing, you know,
• 29:12
  was abandoned.
• 29:13
  You know, I got bullied at school.
• 29:14
  All that stuff.
• 29:15
  I'm gonna give you what what are you gonna tell me?
• 29:17
  I'm I wanna go from victim to conquer You tell me tell me how to do it because most people,
• 29:24
  you know, are gonna say, I couldn't do it.
• 29:26
  I couldn't do it.
• 29:27
  So here's the question, so nobody in your situation could ever get out of me?
• 29:34
  Is it what you're telling me?
• 29:35
  Are you telling me that no woman Who has ever done what you've done had had to go through?
• 29:41
  Could ever accomplish anything?
• 29:46
  And if one other person can do it, then the success is obviously there for you.
• 29:50
  Now listen, there is potential.
• 29:54
  Everybody has the potential, and here's the definition of potential.
• 29:57
  I haven't written it around here for me.
• 30:03
  But not yet in existence, even though necessary conditions are already there.
• 30:09
  Why is it capable, but it isn't mine because you haven't taken advantage of the conditions
• 30:18
  that are already there.
• 30:19
  Yeah.
• 30:20
  So you have to decide.
• 30:22
  Yeah.
• 30:22
  That's what happened to me.
• 30:24
  That is not who I am.
• 30:26
  I'm this person, and all I have to do is work towards it.
• 30:30
  Did you know that if you study that is an statistics.
• 30:35
  If you study a particular subject 1 hour a day, Every day.
• 30:44
  In 7 years, you will be an international expert in that in that subject.
• 30:51
  Now you want to look ahead 7 years?
• 30:55
  Look ahead 7 years and see who you can become.
• 31:00
  By being somebody different today.
• 31:03
  And all you have to do is do it today.
• 31:06
  You don't have to worry about doing it tomorrow because it isn't here.
• 31:09
  And you don't have to worry about doing it yesterday because you can't go backwards.
• 31:13
  Today, you get up, and you have to go through it.
• 31:16
  You have to have these statements of what you're wanting to accomplish and you have to
• 31:22
  read them in the morning and you have to read them at lunch and you have to read them before
• 31:26
  you go to bed And what you're doing is you are giving your subconscious permission to make
• 31:34
  that possible And your subconscious is where all of this information is still worth willing
• 31:41
  to get out of it.
• 31:43
  I mean, every smell every color, everything you've seen done or heard.
• 31:48
  We just can't imagine, but it's there.
• 31:51
  And so your subconscious instead of bringing forth all these things that had happened to you
• 31:56
  in the past is now going to bring forth all the hope and and all of what you're going to
• 32:02
  accomplish.
• 32:03
  And when you show up somewhere, like, they when when my my ex wife, she left me, and she came
• 32:11
  in one day.
• 32:12
  We've been married sting.
• 32:13
  Years like I told you, I had these, all these, foster kids and everything.
• 32:17
  And we had this one special needs boy, and he was a big handful too.
• 32:20
  I mean, you had to pay them.
• 32:21
  You had to really work hard with them all day.
• 32:24
  And she comes in one day, and she says, you know what?
• 32:28
  16 years of marriage.
• 32:29
  She said, I don't love you.
• 32:31
  I never have loved you.
• 32:32
  I've been in love with that guy.
• 32:33
  I was there for 25 years.
• 32:36
  And I'm gonna go live with him.
• 32:38
  And you're stuck.
• 32:39
  Here you go.
• 32:40
  Mhmm.
• 32:41
  And she left?
• 32:44
  Okay.
• 32:44
  So So what do I do?
• 32:46
  What is that who I am?
• 32:49
  Well, when I started the when I finally decided I'm not worthless.
• 32:56
  I'm not someone who shouldn't be named.
• 32:59
  Who doesn't deserve a woman?
• 33:03
  I decided to go looking for it.
• 33:05
  And every time I came around the corner, someone would say, oh, GW.
• 33:10
  I want you to meet my daughter.
• 33:12
  And in my mind, I'd say, is this the worm?
• 33:15
  Is this the worm?
• 33:17
  In other words, I'm always looking for my goal.
• 33:22
  Doesn't make you choose whether it's, number 1, it is.
• 33:26
  If you're constantly thinking about And you say, is this the 1?
• 33:30
  Is this the opportunity?
• 33:32
  Is this what I need?
• 33:34
  And so you go do it.
• 33:35
  Now guess what?
• 33:36
  It may not be.
• 33:37
  Okay?
• 33:38
  But it doesn't mean you're worthless.
• 33:43
  It means it wasn't the answer.
• 33:45
  People won't even
• 33:46
  If it's a keep looking.
• 33:48
  Keep looking when you have that that goal in mind.
• 33:52
  Keep looking.
• 33:54
  You know?
• 33:54
  And goals can be incremental.
• 33:56
  You can make them small.
• 33:58
  For example, if you want to be a doctor, you know, it's gonna take 10 years of study to do
• 34:04
  it.
• 34:04
  Mhmm.
• 34:05
  However, they've broken up in a little gold called semesters.
• 34:09
  And inside those little gold or other golders.
• 34:13
  Mhmm.
• 34:14
  And at the end of that semester, you know, you've accomplished this little goal on the way
• 34:21
  to being a doctor.
• 34:23
  Right.
• 34:23
  So you have to do the same thing in your in your life for getting rid of bad habits, or for
• 34:31
  accomplishing some unknown dream, the dream you know of, but did you all know how to get there?
• 34:37
  All you have to do is break it down into a little segment And as you go, you may change
• 34:43
  your the direction because you weren't right in the beginning as to what you wanted.
• 34:48
  And the guy says, well, you know, I wanted to be a doctor and do this, but I wound up being a
• 34:53
  doctor and doing this.
• 34:55
  Mhmm.
• 34:56
  Because this pull my heart, you know.
• 34:59
  So it it's really and truly all about sticking to it, retraining your mind, so that your
• 35:08
  philosophy doesn't fail.
• 35:10
  Your attitude keeps pounding away at, and you reach your goals, and you'll be successful.
• 35:17
  You have to look at your your growth.
• 35:19
  You don't compare yourself to others.
• 35:22
  Right.
• 35:23
  You always compare yourself to who you were.
• 35:26
  When you started.
• 35:27
  Mhmm.
• 35:28
  Okay?
• 35:28
  Let's say you started 20 years ago, and you're still a a a mess.
• 35:34
  Okay.
• 35:35
  So what?
• 35:36
  Today is a new day, and you're guaranteed of tomorrow and better tomorrow if you actually do
• 35:43
  something today.
• 35:44
  So all you have to do is compare yourself to where you were.
• 35:48
  You don't have to compare yourself to where you think you should be or to where other people
• 35:54
  are.
• 35:55
  Because you you know, do you have siblings?
• 35:58
  Do you have brothers and sisters?
• 36:00
  Yes.
• 36:00
  I do.
• 36:01
  Okay.
• 36:01
  Yes.
• 36:01
  I do.
• 36:02
  And and are you all exactly alike?
• 36:04
  No.
• 36:05
  We're all completely different.
• 36:07
  And yet you were raised by the same family and in the same condition.
• 36:12
  Yes.
• 36:13
  Yes.
• 36:13
  What things are different?
• 36:15
  You just cannot compare your the?
• 36:17
  Absolutely.
• 36:18
  Okay.
• 36:19
  Let's just pretend for a minute that that success is New York City.
• 36:24
  Now where do you live?
• 36:26
  What What town do you live?
• 36:28
  Niagara Falls.
• 36:29
  Okay.
• 36:29
  Niagara Falls.
• 36:31
  Then it would be really easy for you to get New York.
• 36:34
  I live in Oregon.
• 36:35
  I live on the
• 36:36
  other side of United States.
• 36:37
  Okay.
• 36:38
  What what if I live in India?
• 36:41
  Or if I lived in India and and success was New York, is it still possible?
• 36:46
  Yeah.
• 36:48
  Is it harder for me?
• 36:49
  Oh, yes.
• 36:50
  Yes.
• 36:51
  It's possible.
• 36:52
  Oh, yes.
• 36:54
  See?
• 36:54
  Yeah.
• 36:55
  So so that's why you can't compare yourself, the people.
• 36:58
  Conditions are different than theirs are.
• 37:01
  Your obstacles are different, but you can overcome them and you can accomplish it And as
• 37:07
  you grow, you become more valuable as a person.
• 37:13
  Mhmm.
• 37:14
  Your your what you can command is more valuable.
• 37:20
  With each step that you take, every change that you make, you build that goal.
• 37:24
  Right.
• 37:25
  Because because the marketplace pays according to what you can accomplish.
• 37:32
  If all you can do is hold a shovel, all you're gonna be paid is what a shovel person can put
• 37:38
  and can make.
• 37:39
  The more you add to that, the more value you add to you.
• 37:43
  Does that make sense?
• 37:45
  Oh, absolutely.
• 37:45
  Absolutely.
• 37:46
  And it and, you know, it takes a a lot of hard work.
• 37:49
  Now, Judy, but before I let you go, I want you to just talk a little bit about fear, and then
• 37:55
  I'm gonna talk a little bit about people can reach you, and I know you have something that
• 37:59
  you'd like to give away.
• 38:00
  So let's
• 38:00
  talk let's talk a little bit about fear.
• 38:02
  And then, we'll talk a little bit about where people could get a hold of you and and the free
• 38:07
  download that you're gonna get.
• 38:09
  Yeah.
• 38:09
  Alright.
• 38:09
  Fear is a a fear affects your body.
• 38:17
  And fear comes out in your body.
• 38:20
  It is not a real thing.
• 38:22
  It is a response to an idea.
• 38:26
  Yeah.
• 38:27
  In fact, like like anxiety, anxiety is an negatively biased future forecast.
• 38:38
  This isn't done yet.
• 38:39
  Yeah.
• 38:40
  But it affects how you act, how you feel, everything.
• 38:46
  Mhmm.
• 38:47
  As a general rule, fear comes from being in the dark.
• 38:52
  Mhmm.
• 38:53
  Once you turn on the lights, even if you see an enemy, you see how to escape, you see whether
• 39:00
  the enemy's capable of hurting you, etcetera.
• 39:04
  So fears being in the dark,
• 39:06
  No.
• 39:07
  Okay.
• 39:08
  So what you have to do is turn on the line.
• 39:10
  When you start making your goals, when you start changing your philosophy, your your
• 39:17
  attitude, you're no longer in the dark, and the fear gets less and less and less.
• 39:24
  And you start control it.
• 39:26
  Encourage is, is a habit that gets stronger with exercise.
• 39:33
  The fear may not go away, but you're more capable of doing it.
• 39:39
  For example, the number one fear is, public speaking.
• 39:43
  Absolutely.
• 39:45
  And the more you do it, the more you're accustomed to it, doesn't mean you're not
• 39:49
  afraid.
• 39:49
  And you just filling that, Bob.
• 39:53
  John Wayne said, courage is saddling as being afraid, but saddling up anyway.
• 39:59
  So That's the way it is.
• 40:03
  Right.
• 40:03
  Right.
• 40:04
  Well, that's a that's a good way to end.
• 40:06
  Fear is say that again?
• 40:09
  Fear is
• 40:11
  Here's being in the dark.
• 40:12
  So once you get in with the knowledge and you start working on who you're gonna be and all
• 40:18
  that, and you can see what you can become.
• 40:20
  And you know, you can't.
• 40:21
  Look, if one person in your town has become wealthy, then you know Benoit, you can't say?
• 40:28
  Right.
• 40:28
  Right.
• 40:29
  For sure.
• 40:29
  Okay.
• 40:30
  Alright.
• 40:31
  So GW, this is this has been really, really very enjoyable.
• 40:36
  Now I know you have a download that you wanted to give everybody.
• 40:40
  I'd like to you to let them know where they can get that and where people can reach you if
• 40:45
  they'd like to, spend some time or work with you.
• 40:48
  Alright.
• 40:48
  Now I've got this little booklet It's called the 7 Keys, which sets and a happiness.
• 40:53
  It's about what we just talked about today.
• 40:55
  These 7 things, responsibility, philosophy, attitude, goals, education, action, and growth
• 41:01
  in results.
• 41:02
  Okay.
• 41:03
  So these things are all lined out there.
• 41:06
  Helps you get to on the right path.
• 41:08
  It'll take you not long to read it.
• 41:11
  It'll take you the rest of your life.
• 41:13
  Okay?
• 41:14
  Okay.
• 41:15
  And they can write me at gwcliver@gwcliver.net.
• 41:21
  Okay.
• 41:21
  And we will put we will Yeah.
• 41:23
  We will put that in the show notes as well.
• 41:25
  Within the subject matter put it in the subject matter, the free book free booklet.
• 41:31
  Booklet.
• 41:32
  It's a little bit.
• 41:33
  So and I'll just send it to them, and they're gonna have to print it out or read it off the
• 41:37
  screen.
• 41:38
  Okay?
• 41:39
  Okay.
• 41:40
  So please, if anybody's wanting it, it'll be in the show notes.
• 41:44
  You can get ahold of GW through, go through his booklet, and then you could just email him
• 41:49
  directly.
• 41:50
  So what did I yeah.
• 41:52
  So what did I learn?
• 41:54
  Uh-huh.
• 41:54
  Thank you.
• 41:55
  I learned that even though you have courage, you saddle up anyway.
• 41:59
  That's right.
• 42:01
  And that's what I'm gonna take away, GW that we all haven't.
• 42:05
  Fear doesn't go away.
• 42:06
  It it stays with us, but you saddle up anyway and you keep going.
• 42:10
  And that 95%, of your unconscious that's what you need to tap into in order to change habits
• 42:18
  into day to day behavior, small steps, so that you are you are not defined for what by what
• 42:25
  you've been through.
• 42:26
  It's depending on all the small tactical steps that you take daily so that you can override
• 42:32
  and become who you wanna be.
• 42:35
  So, again, GW, thanks so much for spending the time and
• 42:38
  Thank you very much.
• 42:39
  To you.
• 42:40
  And for everyone listening, if you're wanting to, talk a little bit more about authenticity
• 42:47
  and what it takes to get authentically connected to yourself, or your teams, please
• 42:53
  reach out to me at roxannedurhodge.com.
• 42:57
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 43:02
  healthy change.
• 43:03
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 43:10
  rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
• 43:14
  We'll see you next time, an authentic living with Roxanne.