Latest / She's Next Level / 52: The Time Trap That Makes You Feel Like Your Behind & How To Always Be On Time Without Burnout

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52: The Time Trap That Makes You Feel Like Your Behind & How To Always Be On Time Without Burnout · She's Next Level

• Darshna Patel: here's the thing is that more isn't better. Like more is just more. And so I was focusing on the wrong things. And I was just doing more of the wrong things. there is better things that we can do. That will get us to the result that we desire in our businesses or anything else in our lives, but our awareness is as limited as our experiences in our life. Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. I'm your host, Darsh, and I help women look hotter, feel healthier, and be happier. And so if that is something that you want to do, then make sure that you subscribe and stick around because we release episodes every week. So today's episode is very interesting actually because I haven't really opened up around business stuff, business related things. I feel like a lot of the stuff that we focus on is all around like self-love and healing and healing the body. But I've been kind of exploring this era that I've been in lately for a long fucking time around business and career. And I know that if you're listening, you are definitely someone that is ambitious. You're someone that, you know, has big aspirations and dreams, and you definitely probably want a business of your own whether you have one. Or you've ever thought about creating one, you definitely want to create some type of purpose in life. And so this has been a major theme in my life that has constantly came up time and time again when it comes to healing in a way where I am recognizing my genius, my specialness, my uniqueness, how valuable I really am. I feel like a lot of people get lessons. For these core things that creates this unconditional self-love for yourself, right? Where you literally love and accept all parts of yourself so that life can do that with you. We learn in different areas of our life. Like I have a friend who is learning in relationships, and that's how she learns these lessons. I have someone else that learns through health, and that's how they do it. For me, it's been business and it's been career, it's been finances, and so. I'm excited to dive in because I wanted to talk about something that I've noticed as a theme for other people out there in the world. I know a lot of people struggle with this, but I've also had to go through this and I've had to work through this. So I got the juice for you guys, but today is really gonna be all around bringing awareness. And, my goal for you guys is to also start taking action because the action is what gets you. To manifest things into physical form. It's not just being all energetic and woo-woo. It's also taking physical action and action creates clarity, action creates movement. So, what I want to talk about today is all around if you've ever felt like you don't have time to do things, or you feel like you just are always constantly running late or running out of time to do the things that you actually want to do, or you just have this thing with time, and it feels like time is just not on your side. And you feel like you're behind and all of these things that have to do with fucking time. Even though we know in the spiritual world that time does not exist, but in the physical world where we are right now, as humans, time does exist. And I have had a really interesting relationship with time, and I've had to redevelop my relationship with time and how I choose to see it, how I choose to incorporate. my relationship with it in my life now because it's just been very unhealthy in the past. And some of the things I'll talk about, you know, I hope that you guys start to bring awareness into maybe you may be doing some of these things, you may not, but I want to start really bringing that awareness of how we can heal our relationship with time and start to feel more happier in our lives because of that. Because especially when you're someone that has big goals and dreams, and maybe you're waking up later in on in life. And what I mean by that is in our 30s, right? Late 20s, late 30s, early 30s, whatever age you are, maybe you're finally starting to work on healing yourself and all of these things that you know have held you back. And you're like, I know I want to live life differently. I want to live life in a more higher expanded way. It's okay, like time makes us feel like we're running behind or we don't have enough time to do things now because we're older. But that is never the case. We are always, like I will say, until the day I fucking die, forever young bitch. Because that is the goal, to be forever young in spirit and physically. And I just want to also mention that everything I'm going to be talking about today when it comes to our relationship with time and how to be able to get time on our side and all the good things that come with it, it is applied to business and the way I'm explaining everything with business and career. But you can totally apply the same concept to any other area of your life. And I actually are encourage people to because the universe always has to be in balance. So it's not like I'm gonna do this thing in this area of life and I'm not gonna do this thing in another area. Bitch, it'll pop up. Trust me on that. So the goal is to be balanced, but you know, we wanna start with the most painful areas of life where we struggle with this the most Because then it makes it easier for us to then apply it to the other areas of our life. So why this happens in the first place around us not feeling like we have enough time to do the things that we want to do, or we feel behind in our life, or we feel like just this relationship with time, a lot of it comes down to us feeling somewhere in our life that we are. Just never the person that's on time. Like it has to do with an identity that has been created. And the things that you do, the actions that you take really tie into this whole identity piece. And I'll get into that in a little bit later on. But I want you guys to start to understand why these things happen. It's not just by chance. I definitely don't want you to just feel like, this is just the normal. Like, you know how people joke about, like I'm just always the kind of person that's late, you know, it's okay. Well, here's the thing. As long as you actually don't feel triggered or you don't feel bad about it, which I still think is an issue, Because the thing is, is that when you start to feel and identify with that type of person that you are, it's okay. Maybe you don't care about being late. in your relationship area of life and you don't care about being late for certain things. But do you care about being late, quote unquote late, receiving things later on, feeling like, you know, you're just trying to catch up to things, because that's what that creates in your career. Because most of the times We are impatient bitches. A lot of people are impatient. They want things like a fucking sap. And that is something I'm gonna dive into later on today too. Because it does tie into this. But the thing is, is that when you start to identify with this type of person, of I'm always late or I never get things done, like pay attention to the words you're speaking because it's telling you the identity of how you identify yourself with, and then the actions that you start to take because of that. That was like a big aha moment and wake-up call that I've had to have and kind of the new thing that I've been implementing with my subconscious rewiring journey and just creating different things in my life and being more aware what it is that I'm creating, whether it's something I want or something I don't want is paying attention to the actions I'm taking based on the identity that I have. And it really just comes out. We tell on ourselves all the time by the words we speak to people. So pay attention to that. And this is what creates this feeling of, my god, things are taking longer than I expected them to. And this makes people unhappy. And this is just a very low frequency way of living. And I've lived this way majority of my life. So I am here with you guys. But I am telling you, like I have found a better way of living lately, and I've been loving it where it feels more. First of all, less stressful and overwhelming because that is like the biggest thing that causes people to just fucking go off the rails. And it feels more expansive. It feels good. It's and I'm starting to notice as I'm doing this new way, which I'll be getting into later, like sharing with you guys what I'm doing, is that I'm starting to notice that I feel more at ease and I'm able to allow the ideas coming in from my higher self, from my intuition to really help me move forward with efficiency. In a way where like now I'm starting to understand why there's a difference between being successful and feeling overwhelmed and being successful and feeling at ease. Like it's just been amazing and I want that for you guys because I know a lot of people struggle with this and some people are not even aware of them having this issue because it's so normal for them. So I want you guys to know that there's a better way of living where you can be the person that is on time. Where you can feel like you are on time and you feel like you have more than enough time to do the things that you genuinely want to do. And that's a whole nother thing is doing the things that you want to do versus doing the things because you're doing the things. And we're gonna get into that as well. Think the biggest misconception that causes us to feel like we're running out of time or that we're behind or that, you know, it's taking longer than expected, this whole issue with time and feeling like you just don't have enough time to do things that you wanna do Comes from this idea that doing more is better in some way. And this has been the biggest thing that has showed up in my life. and this is like the biggest reflections. If you guys haven't listened to previous episodes, when I talk about universal laws, a law of reflection in a nutshell is basically that your life is always a reflection of you. So everything that's going on in your internal world and how you feel about yourself, what you're feeling, all of those things is going to pop up externally to get your attention, to get back into emotional balance so that you can operate from your full authentic and limitless self. So I have had a lot of reflections with time come up for me where I have felt like I'm not, you know, where I thought I was going to be in my life at this point, where I felt like I was behind in life and don't have enough time because I'm running out of time, right? It causes this urgency, this pressure built within you. And It made me want to push myself and just add more things to my plate than I thought I needed to because I thought that if I just Did more, added more things in my life. If I didn't allow myself to just breathe or just like let myself rest because that's me being lazy. I'm if I slow down, then I'm not gonna make it. If I slow down and I'm not being productive, then I'm not gonna get to where I wanna be, And so that is what made me want to do more. And here's the thing is that more isn't better. Like more is just more. And so I was focusing on the wrong things. And I was just doing more of the wrong things. And I just want to preface that there is no such thing as wrong or right. What I will say is that there is better things that we can do. That will get us to the result that we desire in our businesses or anything else in our lives, but we're not aware of it yet. Like our subconscious mind, our awareness is as limited as our experiences in our life. And I had to wake up to this when I started learning how to use my intuition and allowing myself to be open to more possibilities and be open to letting go of control and being like, okay. I haven't figured out something that I've never done before and trying to do it in any way, but I'm open to it. And this is what helped me start to expand my mind and be open to the way that I'm doing things of maybe this way of doing something is way better. Maybe this isn't necessary as I thought it would be. And so I've had to really work through this in my life because of this feeling that I was experiencing around just feeling like I'm behind in life. And that made me not feel happy where I'm at. And then that would put pressure on me to do more and do more and Put all this stuff into my schedule where I didn't allow myself to even feel like taking a break was enjoyable. Like even if I did, I felt guilty around taking a break. Like my mind, I would literally be resting, but then my mind would be thinking about the business, how to make more money, and all of these things. It didn't feel safe. And so I had to get to a place where I'm like, no, there has to be a better way to life than what it is that I'm doing. And if you feel like you're at that place in your life too right now, I want you to know like if you apply just the things that I'm gonna talk about in a second to help you kind of start to take action differently, it's gonna help you a lot in reducing that stress and overwhelm that is a byproduct of us putting pressure on ourselves and us feeling like we never have the time to do things that we want to do. Because here's the thing it's valid that you feel that way, but continuing to feel that way, it's not gonna help. It's just gonna make more of that feeling prominent in your life until you start to shift that emotion because it literally is a perception that's off balance. And yeah, it sometimes could be the actions that you're taking. But if you start taking new actions and you start doing things differently, that shit will change. And that's exactly what's happened to me. One of the things that causes us to feel behind in life or feel like we don't have enough time to do the things that we want to do, or to feel like it's taking longer than expected, Is us committing. To the wrong fucking things, but then also us overcommitting to the things that we're not even 100% sure about. I know this would happen to me a lot in the past where like I would get so excited about something and I'll be like, I'm in, like, you know, like let's go, let's do this. And then days later, I'm like, I don't want to fucking do this thing. Like, get me out of this thing. And thankfully, my friends understand. I have some really amazing friends that they just know me. They know I get excited. And it's definitely something that I've gotten better with around not making commitments for things that I'm not 100% sure about yet. And so I've they've been able to work with me on that. But how frustrating is it, right? When people commit to you when doing something and then they back out at the last minute. I mean, that is exactly what you are creating in your life. And when that happens, it's technically you doing that to yourself, which is why that's happening to get your attention. But we need to stop committing to the things in our life that don't matter, that are not as important. And this is what causes people to stress out about things in life that don't fucking matter. So I want you to take inventory and I want you to think about like, where are my commitments in my life right now? Like we're talking about business, right? In our career. What parts of my business am I committed to where it's like, this is the shit that lights me up and I love this? And where are the parts in our business where we're committed to where we feel like, yeah, I don't really like doing this, but I'm doing it because I see other people getting results with it. And so I'm gonna do it too. Where are you putting your commitments at? And you have to be realistic. with yourself in this season and where you are in your life as well. It's so important because our seasons in life are gonna change as our values change and we need to be aware of that around what is realistically possible. I'm all about the impossible baby. Like I'm all about dreaming big and going for it. But This whole relationship with time and my reflections that I've had with, you know, feeling like I'm behind in life and feeling like things are taking longer than expected. This was all being created because I wasn't also being realistic with where I'm currently at. And especially as a projector, baby, if you are into human design, I'm an energetic projector, so I think I can act like a generator or manifesting. Generator, and then I fuck myself because I'm like, no, bitch, this is how you burn out. So pay attention to your commitments. And one of the reasons why I say this is because when you don't show up for your commitments and you have put too much on your plate that you feel like you're stressed out about and you're unable to complete everything that you want to complete, that creates inconsistency in your electromagnetic field, which is your energy field, which is Literally how you create your life, it's how you manifest. It holds all your thoughts, beliefs, your actions, your identities, like it literally creates a script that goes out into the world and that script attracts all people, places, situations, circumstances, everything to create your reality. So it is that fucking important when you do certain actions, what that creates as a byproduct. And we don't want inconsistency in our lives. I've had to work through that because of what I was doing. And so I'm saving you guys a big one by giving you this info so that you don't have to create that in your life. And if you already are, this just goes back to commitments and it goes back to where am I being inconsistent in my life? Where am I telling myself I'm gonna show up for something and I'm not doing that? Or where am I feeling like something is inconsistent in my life. And it could be, you know, money or it could be getting clients, but our perception is always off. Usually it's not an inconsistency issue. There's always things happening. It's that we just are not seeing it. And it can be in ways that we don't expect, right? If it's like getting clients, we think that, yeah, like it's been inconsistent. But no, like the things that you're doing are still contributing to you getting clients. You're just not seeing it. That's a whole nother thing. But the other thing I also want to talk about that creates this feeling of fuckery with time, as I'll call it, is expectations, guys. Okay. I know I'm not the only one, especially if you're someone who's ambitious and that wants more in your life, that has expectations, high standards, high expectations. And how this really fucks us, it fucked me so hard, was I was starting to create this sense of unhappiness and this sense of unease and pressure on myself. To make things happen. I was being more in my masculine because of this, because I was not allowing the universe to give me something better. It's it was either this has to happen and it has to happen in the time that I've expected because I've done this, this, and that to make it happen. But I wasn't considering other factors of things that need to happen into place. You know, sometimes your clients aren't energetically ready to work with you yet for you to be a match to that yet. Like there's other things that are happening in the universe behind the scenes that we're not aware of. Things that we need to happen. Like we need to maybe get better at a certain skill set for us to be able to help people better. There's just so many things that I wasn't aware of that I felt like I was doing the most. I felt like I should be farther along because of all the things that I'm doing. But the thing is Is that our human selves is always expecting way more because one, it's also is influenced by a lot of external societal contagions, right? Like there's so much influence and info on social media on the internet. Like there's just so much that goes on externally that can influence us. And so it's important for us to stay centered, tunnel vision, grounded with eyes focused on us, nobody else. And To not have expectations. So that's something that I actually started implementing. One of the things that's helping me offset this is not to have expectations anymore. Just letting go of expectations in general. And I saw this play out actually when I did a an event at Solid Core recently, which is like a reformer Pilates style type of class. And it was my first event and I was so excited. But then I was also like, you know what? I think I just want to have fun. I'm gonna let go of expectations of getting clients or anything. I just want to talk about what it is that I love and help people because I know how important this information that I have is. I know what a difference it's made in my life. And I also see how there's a lot of people hurting in the world, man. There's a lot of people that don't really love themselves the way they think they do. And there's just a lot going on where I really want to help people wake up and start to. create a life that they really love and most importantly love themselves no matter what. This has been a big journey for me. So it was very near and dear to my heart. And I was like, I'm just gonna go walk in, no expectations. I'm just gonna have fun, meet some people, talk about what I love. That's all I care about. And so it was interesting because I walked in with that energy and I ended up getting like a whole bunch of people that were interested in what I'm doing. And it just worked out better than I expected. And isn't that such a beautiful feeling when things work out better than you expect? It's just such a beautiful feeling, man. I was like, I don't feel this way all fucking time. So I was like, we're getting rid of expectations from now on. And this also helps you start to work better. It helps you start to show up better because you are doing things more that you enjoy in your life and that you're also becoming more effective and efficient with your time. Which helps you focus on more of the right things than the wrong things. So how I've been implementing the commitments that I keep for myself now and how I go about it is that I have been kind of changing up my schedule and the way that I do things. So I had to get clear, first of all, of like what is the most important needle moving thing that is actually making a difference in growing my business. And, you know, I had to also get rid of the idea of social media. Like I feel like I've definitely have a different relationship and idea of social media now than I did before. And it was tough. It was tough because, you know, I used to be more active on social media before. I had had a different business when I used to do Herbalife back then and other things. I was more active on social media and I genuinely enjoyed it. Or maybe I thought I did, right? we're so programmed to be a certain way. So I had to get clear on like which platforms am I showing up for that I like. Like I had to get clear on the things that I genuinely enjoy and create my commitments around that. for me, structure matters, but I also like having flexibility and flow. So I needed to create that balance. So what I do now is I create the tasks for my week and I think about like my monthly goals because I have monthly goals that I write down. by the end of the month and I think about like okay what are the things that I need to get done for this week that are the most important things and it's not about adding more it's not about me adding a whole bunch of fucking things it's about me like what are the most important things that are gonna get me to that goal. So once I write it down I don't even create my schedule anymore for like Monday through Friday or Saturday or whatever. I actually tune in to the day of in the morning and I ask my higher self, I use my intuition. So if you're connected to your intuition, or even if you're not, like just get still, bitch. And just ask yourself like, what are the tasks that I'm drawn to today? And I don't put a number on it. There's no expectations. I just let it come through to me of like how many things I should do today based on my energy. And I let myself then do those things. So I give myself more than enough time to do the things that I'm committed to as well. Because what was happening is like I thought that I could squeeze in more things and get more things done to feel better about myself. But now it's like we're doing a lot less, girl. We're doing a lot less and we're being more effective. And then we end up doing more because we're doing a lot less. So what I do is I see what comes through and then I give myself extra time breaks in between as well because my brain needs a fucking break. It's like I need time to reset, ground myself in nature. A lot of the stuff I do is a lot of intuitive work too. So it does require a lot of like brain space. and then I end up honestly having more time. Like I finish literally right on time or earlier and I end up having A lot more fucking time for the rest of the day to do whatever it is that I want. And that shit feels good. Like that shit feels so good because then I become even more motivated to do more than I expected. And so when you start to do that and you start to work through your commitments in this way, that is where the magic happens because that creates into your electromagnetic field that I show up for my commitments. I trust myself to show up for my commitments. I get shit done. And I have more than enough time to do the things that I want to do. And so I am perfectly on time, baby. I'm not behind on time, but I'm right on time. And so this is what creates more of that ease in your life and in your schedule when you start to do things this way. Something else I just want to add on to that most people aren't aware of is everyone works differently. Like their brain is on at different times of the day. And so something I do suggest that I do is figuring out like when is my brain the most active and on. And you wanna create your schedule around that time. Like for me, it's usually more around like 11 a.m. to like Two, three PM is when my brain starts to go down. Like it's kind of like, okay, we've done enough. So I schedule, like I cr take my most important like tasks that require a lot more brain power, and I tend to get them done first. And then the other tasks that are not like as much brain power required, I put them more towards the end of the day. But I space out my schedule in a way where it's like I'm able to give myself what I need. This is like a big self-love thing. is I give myself what I need to be able to get these things done. Because that's another thing is like people are not even aware of when they're working at their best times. And I understand if you have a job, right? Like you're kind of fixed at a certain time. But if you have a business, Make that shit work for you and don't do the things that other people are telling you to do. You always want to do the opposite of what fucking people tell you to do, except me. I'm just kidding. Take what resonates and take what doesn't. But the last thing I want to give you guys is I want you guys to start playing around with the whole concept of manifestation is literally like a fucking formula. X plus Y equals Z, right? So when it comes to becoming the version of yourself that has certain things, that does certain things in your life, this is how I want you think about it. The identity of somebody that feels like they're right on time and they end up becoming on time because of that, right? They are happier in their lives because of that. They are not having any expectations or feel like things are taking longer than they expect because they are literally right on time. I want you to start adopting this identity and mindset of I am on time and also this or something better because having those two things is really going to help you feel happy with where you're at and allowing yourself to let go and release that control and feel more content in your life, but also have a healthier relationship with time. And maybe you won't be running late after all, after you start implementing this. And I want to know if you end up actually shifting that in your life, or you if you've ever felt like you're always running late and you're not anymore from implementing this. I want to know. Like I personally am the type of person that isn't late. Like I like to be on time, but I do find myself getting stressed out. Like I was before, it's better now, where I would get stressed out if I was. Running late. And you can see why I was getting stressed out with all of this that I talked about. So when you're someone that's always on time, even if you're running late or you end up being late a certain day and shit just happens, you see the value in it, and you're not actually feeling bad about that. I'll tell you that ever since I started implementing this stuff, I don't feel like I've been experiencing that as much. So it's interesting how things work when you start to take certain actions that create a certain outcome in your life and starting to pay attention to that. And I just feel like when you start to implement this identity of I'm always on time and it's either this or something better, you end up being more effective with your time where you are choosing to do things that actually give you the highest ROI in your life, where you're committing to things that you know that you'll be showing up for and you actually show up for your commitments more. You create more consistency in your life because of that, and you feel happier in your life because you know that you're right where you're meant to be. And so you are also creating your life around the things that you enjoy to do that you want to do. And even if you're doing things that you, you know, you don't want to do, like working a job that you don't like or whatever, your perception starts to shift and change when you let go of expectations and when you start to commit to what's important to you. Like when it comes to scenarios like that, I always like to go big picture of like How is this thing getting me to where it is that I want to be? And when you have intuition as well, and you've trained your intuition, you're in tune with it, then you always know when to ask your intuition of like, am I actually supposed to stay here or not? But I always say, even though we're going on a little side tangent here, I always say that it's truly when you feel at peace with where you're at, is when you actually want to ask yourself that question of should I stay or should I go? It's never gonna be from an emotional place because there's something that you're not giving to yourself that it is that you want. It's usually a feeling and leaving something from that end in that energetic state is just gonna it's it's just gonna go to the next thing and it's just gonna be worse. So anyways I want you guys to start implementing some of these things. Focus on how you're showing up for your commitments by the commitments that you're actually agreeing to and creating. And then also start letting go of expectations. Start allowing yourself to have that mindset of this or something better. And this will start to help shift that feeling that you have with like literally not feeling like you have time to do the things because you are not taking actions. Based off of somebody that has the identity of that. You're actually taking actions based on someone that has more than enough time. And so what you're gonna do is you're gonna create that enough time for yourself. You're going to start rewiring your EMF field to start creating more of that. I've literally seen this happen in my life. I actually feel more at peace and more at ease with doing it this way, where I'm like, okay, I'm not overscheduling things anymore. I'm actually gonna ask my higher self, like, okay, what is the most important things? Like, we're not just taking any action, we're taking the most effective, best actions that we can take. Because we don't need to do more. We just need to become more efficient in our lives and we can still get to where we want to be. And I guarantee, if somebody told you that there was a way to make that shit happen, you would be doing the same shit. also, I want to give you guys a little update about the mini course that I was creating for like the foundations of my work. I have decided to push that back probably another month or so. I haven't really decided on the date of the launch yet, just because I have another business, guys. I have my stretch mark tattooing business and I'm creating some changes around restructuring that business right now. So it's definitely taking a lot of my focus. And so once I get that handled and settled, I will be sharing with you guys when is a good time that I'll be launching. And I'm so excited for this because like this is this is a program that I wish I had a few years ago from all the inner work that I've done, all the trial and error and the testing that I've done with coming together with the best tools that actually move the needle. That are actually like if I was to take all the fucking tools in the world and I had to solidify, at least right now with the tools that I have, these would be it. And so I'll keep you guys posted on that. And if you guys do want to work with me one on one, there is an application below to apply for an intuitive session. So here we are. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you guys enjoyed this podcast episode. Please let me know. Leave me a review on the podcast if you're listening on Apple or Spotify. It really helps the podcast grow and reach more women like us. And hit me up on TikTok. I'm a lot more active on there. I've really just been kind of away from Instagram. It's my personal one is still on there, but I really love TikTok. So hit me up on TikTok. and let me know your thoughts and what you take away. And the shifts that you start to experience by implementing this. and I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye.