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The Art of Connection: How to Reignite Your Love Life · Erotic Spirit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: If we are afraid to be intimate with ourselves, we're just gonna reflect outwardly.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: So, how do we reignite our love life is internal intimacy and love and connection with ourselves, sitting in it, understanding all the pieces of all of us and the shadows and the stuff that we do understand, diving into that even more, just expanding ourselves past just the construct of this body.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast discusses sensitive and sexual topics that may be triggering.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Please understand we are not therapists.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are simply sharing from our own journey and experience.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, this awesome podcast is sponsored by Enlightened Energy Works.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like to meet your spirit guides or build a deeper connection with them?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: If so, I have an online self-guided course with simple exercises and recommendations to help you build your connection with your spirit guides in your own way and at your own pace.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested, please check it out at www.angelashelby.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Erotic Spirit Podcast where souls, sexuality, and real life meet.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Angela Shelby.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Jenna Lee.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And along with our own dialogue, we can channel Ascended Masters, Angels, Spirit Guides, and other friends in spirit.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we talk about spirituality, sexuality, where they meet, releasing trauma, and looking at life from a different perspective.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: We do our best to embody sensuality and spirituality and meet you where you're at.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not familiar with channeling, channeling is allowing higher-dimensional beings to use our voices and bodies to bring through information.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: And today we are talking about talking about the art of connection and how to rebuild your love life or build it.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: If you stick around, we'll give all these beautiful practical tools on connecting in deeper within ourselves and others.
• 2:27
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And our process, so when Jenna and I are sitting down to plan episodes and just decide what the crap we're going to talk about, we call in spirit, like spirit, and when I say spirit, like spirit guides, like the energy, these being, these beings, our spirit guides, come down and we start getting information.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, talk about this.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when this topic came in, the first thing that popped in was deepening your love life is self-love first.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like spot on.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: That was what rolled through.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was, you know, uh reviving your love life.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like self-love life.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're very specific.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is where it starts, this is where it begins.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times we've talked about this before.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's so important to rerun back because people a lot of times think there's this external experience.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I need to focus on that when actually we change our internal experience and our perceptions.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what we're actually creating from.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: So if we believe we're worthy of love and we're deepening our self-love, we're going to express that effortlessly outwardly.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: So it comes from inside to outside.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I always look at this as presence.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: We say presence all the time, but it comes down to presence within ourselves equals presence within others, is freedom, is deepening our own understanding of self through our sexuality, but also understanding when we're uncomfortable what that is, and actually sitting with ourselves, actually just zening out with us, sitting in the uncomfortable shit, understanding our essence.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: And that's how we get to express who we are.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because how can we express who we are if I'm like uncomfortable with myself?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna express who I am, I'm not gonna be authentic, probably, if I feel uncomfortable even sitting in silence with myself.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And coming from the perspective of like being in partnership.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I have friends who are, you know, in long-term marriages and relationships, and they're like, you know, he's doing this and he does that, or she does this, and she does that.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wish it would change.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they're so focused outwardly on what's happening with their spouse, and they forget that like they are a component of that.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And how shifting their focus to their own balance and self-love automatically shifts their relationship without them having to say a word.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, one in particular, God bless her.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Her husband is so very old-world machismo, and it's not his problem, it's everyone else's problem.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so she's like, you know, I want to grow, I want to improve, and I'm going to a counselor, but God, he won't come with me.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how we're supposed to work on this if he won't come to the counselor with me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, screw it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't have to go to the counselor with you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: You work on you and see where that goes.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like two months later, she came back to me and she goes, This is really crazy.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, His behavior toward me has changed, and I've just changed me.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I don't even know how it happened.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Stuff is just changing.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it's it's our inside is reflected on our outside and our behavior is part of the problem, whether we realize it or not.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it is our relationship with ourselves that creates the intimacy and the relationships we have with other people.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: If we are afraid to be intimate with ourselves, I mean you're just going to reflect outwardly.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: So, how do we reignite our love life is internal intimacy and love and connection with ourselves, sitting in it, understanding all the pieces of all of us and the shadows and the stuff that we do understand, diving into that even more, just expanding ourselves past just the construct of this body.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: So embodiment.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: We these are like some very esoteric, you know, concepts.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Embodiment.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Embodiment means bringing it into reality, bringing it into our body, making it practical everyday life.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: So good self-love practices that can be carried on to our partner.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is and uh help us reignite our love life.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Again.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: The first one that comes to mind is touch.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it be touching ourselves or others, self-touch.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think of masturbation as one of the first things because if we're not touching ourselves, how can we ask somebody else to touch us?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we've talked about this a lot.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about masturbation a lot.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's really helpful.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that touch, we are so touch-starved in our society.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: So getting touch, and uh we've had we've had people ask when you know, how how do I get more touch?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: How do I promote more touch for myself?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh touch yourself first.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I personally I rub my feet every night.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I masturbate, I get massages, go get massages.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Massages are wonderful.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's amazing what like one every two weeks can do for a person.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what would you recommend?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: What are your touchstones for touch?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: For touch.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, I mean, I think, well, for me, it's creating an experience with that too.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: I I go back to a lot of mindfulness techniques and tools.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: And for me, touch, I did not like to be touched by a partner.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that was just through my sexual trauma.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: So uh being able to get back into my body when I was actually touching myself by creating this entire sensual experience.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: So, what am I smelling in the room?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: Am I am I tasting anything, right?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: Having a sweet treat, having some music.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I would say for me, some more softer sensual music.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: I do like a good headbanger and a good hip-hop and rap and shit, but but something to soften the body, especially for me, it was just about desensitizing myself to my own touch, which was just getting normalized with touch.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: And the other senses create this experience where where it would help drop me in my body more so that I would see, oh, I'm uncomfortable with this touch.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: And it and it might not even be touching my genitals.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: It might, it might have even just been like for me, it wasn't.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was everything.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: It was like the arm, the shoulders, everything.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: So being in that experience where I was in all of my senses, the touch, I would say, oh, that's uncomfortable, and sit with it and be in my body and feel it and feel it, and even associate an emotion to it.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what am I feeling?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_03: I would ask, what am I feeling right now?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'm feeling angry, feeling sad, I'm feeling disgust, whatever that is, associating all these things so my body mind-body connection actually connects in.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a lot of the work that I do now, or that that I've really kind of created a space for.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: How do we connect our mind-body so that we're actually in our body, experiencing touch?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, because now I'll say, when I have well, if a partner or if someone else was to touch me now, I mean, and you know, not just like, oh, just oh, I love you, you're a great, great person, great friend.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: But like if it's a central experience, it's juicy.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_03: It is like, oh, okay, this is nice, but that took practice to actually be in my body and be like, oh, that's a good touch.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And feel safe doing it.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you touching yourself first and getting comfortable with you just touching yourself, touching your arms, yeah, made it possible for you to allow somebody else to touch you.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because I did not feel safe.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: So expanding that to the bedroom.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So being in the bedroom doesn't necessarily mean it has to be like sexual touch.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know we've talked about the exercises of, so if you have a partner, this is extending that touch exercise.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you've been with your partner for 20 years, this can actually be very creative and exploratory and touching each other in new ways.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Touch without uh expectation, touch with just focusing on touch without getting to first base, without any of that.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: It could lead to that, but without expectation and exploring your partner's body.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I like that.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: I like that because when there's no expectation, it drops out of uh performance and I have to be, I have to do, and it just drops into present moment.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then we actually let our guards down, we actually drop into safety, we create a container, and sometimes I will say, like I'll say this for me, and I I had a relationship where I was in where I was I did not like touch, right?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: So that if there was any drop or hint of sex time or whatever, I felt so much pressure because I never wanted to and and at one point we there's lots of dries, spouts, and me going through not even knowing I was going through my own trauma and I I was things were replaying in my body.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: But when you take out expectations of hey, we're gonna we're gonna end here, it becomes easier to feel safe in the body.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay, we're just we're just doing this, we're just doing this, we're gonna just just see how this feels.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's important.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's a different level of connection to touch for touch sake, and to not judge a body.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: So doing touch for touch sake, but maybe if you're a man, your partner gets a heart on.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not letting that be an expectation of sex and not making them feel ashamed or embarrassed for it or pressured.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and just in there's this connection, just having that moment of touch and enjoying it for what it is, and discovering different textures of your partner's body, uh of your own body.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I had with my ex-husband, he did not like his feet.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I made it a point.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, your feet carry you every single day.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like you should worship those feet.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I made it a point to put lotion on his feet every single night.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And at first he hated it.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, Don't touch them, they're gross, they're blah, blah, blah.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And after he goes, I get it now.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: He goes, I totally understand why you did that.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you touch my feet now.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: He goes, I love my feet now.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we'd been together for years before I did that.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it changed things for us.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So just touch, touch for the sake of touching.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, something else that you've brought up, you've done more of this than I have, eye gazing.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about eye gazing because again, something that is no pressure can feel really weird.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: We don't do it.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of the time, I mean, for example, in the animal kingdom, staring in somebody's eyes is a challenge.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like it is not a friendly thing to be doing to somebody.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes down to it, we are part of the animal kingdom.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: We don't tend to stare into each other's eyes because it is deep connection and it can signify challenge.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're sitting with your partner with the intention of like, we are going to sit and stare into each other's eyes.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can feel right now just sometimes we feel like our audience, we can feel like emotions.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel people laughing and going, no, no, I won't do that.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, share your experiences.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll say it's it for sure.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: Start off with Tantra, some Tantra experiences that I went through to uh pujas and all the good stuff.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: And so you recognize that after you start doing this, that sometimes you don't, you're not as intentional with looking into people's eyes, but you just start with a timer.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: Really just start with a timer of five minutes.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it sounds like a lot.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: When you when you keep doing it enough, it's like, wow, that went by in the blink of an eye.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: So basically you just you sit with someone, you can, you know, it could be a partner that you are romantic with, it could be someone that you're not, because that's part of diving into connection with ourselves.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: I actually I really employ people to also do it with someone you're not romantically involved with because you'll also see your own shadows and all these other areas.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's just, it's just intimacy, it's just deep connection into looking at that person and saying, What is it?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Why am I uncomfortable with this?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: So you just sit there.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: You can hold hands, you can just you can have just knees touch, you know, you don't have to have knees touching.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: You can also do a yab yum position if that's someone that you're you're romantically involved with, where um depending on on who usually you'll have someone that it well, not usually, but yeah, you'll have someone sitting on the bottom, and then the other person um sitting on top of their legs that are the their legs that are crossed, and then the one on top has the open legs um around the waist wrapped around.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, or or if that's too much to wrap around, just like open.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: And that could be a space too as well, like no expectations.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: We're still here to look out of each other's eyes.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: And it's the way my first time doing it, I love this because the practitioner guided us through and said that you are looking at the divine God or goddess within them.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: That reflection of you.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: This is what you're looking at, and this beautiful mirror there.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: And so that was a good guided practice.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: So you can kind of maybe have that intention in mind too, because then you're just wow, this beautiful reflection of me is outside here.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: And anytime your thoughts kind of spiral out, acknowledge.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: Acknowledge it, right?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Don't suppress it.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Let me like, oh, I gotta, I gotta do this.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Acknowledge your thought, let me come back within to this person in front of me.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: So, and that, yeah, that's pretty much it.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, allowing that to evolve too, to different things that you can um start not touching and then touch.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: My experience with eye gazing has been getting information about people, um, unexpected insights into people that just cross my brain.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, we are psychic, everybody's psychic.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody is psychic.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone is, period.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, psych being psychic is sensing energy.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: We all sense energy.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a sense of smell, though.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us smell better than others, some of us sense energy better than others, and you can refine it.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: But part of connecting with people is connecting your energy and connecting that energy, getting insights into people has been really helpful.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Has been really nice.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then um when I've done eye gazing, we share at the end what we've picked up because that was just that that psychic part of it was a part of our experience of that.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was expected.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um is that something that you've done with your partners, or is it just you you just sharing that moment?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: Just sharing that moment.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I mean, I would say probably with a more like a romantic partner just sharing the moment.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: If it was other experiences that may have come in too, you know, as well.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: But for me, there's no right or wrong way, but I will say this intention of presence.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, of course, all things will drop in, right?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: But there's something with me and how I learned my mind-body disconnect.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: So it's really good for me to drop in to acknowledge the thoughts and then kind of come back in within that person.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm connecting into mind-body with that because really I when I started doing that with a partner the first time, I hadn't had any healthy, intimate, romantic partnership up until that point.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: So this was just a practice in.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: And so if you're listening and you're just like, wow, like, yeah, I've never never that sounds exactly like me.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's practice, a mind-body connection to be vulnerable, just to be.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: Literally, you're being and you're vulnerable.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so that was what I learned in my journey that that was just to be there so that my mind-body could connect in this space and create safe, create safety.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: Cause I'm the one creating safety and understanding it with the partner that's helping to create that container.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: But my mind and body is connecting into safety within me.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: So, and everyone's experience is different, right?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: But that's what I learned was so good for me that I learned with it.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: That was so important.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: With the these little things like the touching and the eye gazing, these are just things to be present either with yourself or with a partner.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can eye gaze in the mirror too.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's another trip.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, eye gaze in the mirror and see what you feel and what comes up, and just being present with yourself in your eyes.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um just doing that without worrying about what information you get or having an agenda, just the intention of being present, just starts to shift things.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: It just starts to to change things.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how else to describe it.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: I actually do this in uh in my inner child healing workshop where I guide people to look at themselves in the mirrors.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it's an interesting thing when this came in for me.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_03: And it is like the mirror is just you, you're just looking at your energy.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: It is just you, right?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: There's no other person to judge you except for you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: And so I love this that you brought that up, just the sharing, no agenda there.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then the other thing that I would do is to create new experiences and love on myself by actually saying devotional love out loud and things that maybe I would have wanted to hear that I never heard.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so I'm saying these things to myself.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: And by at some point, you know, now I'm like, you look fucking good today.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like it's it's effortless now.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: But it is just sitting in that space to be intimate with self so that I'm actually moving past the the weirdness or the uncomfortableness.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: But it's just our energy.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm getting a spirit guide nudge.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: They are wanting to bring up laughter.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: That the message that's been coming through a lot for many of my clients is life is not as serious as we think it is.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you have got to put life down for a while.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how serious it gets, how hard it is, putting it down for a while.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that is not worrying about things, even if it's for 10 minutes, that you just put it down and you go do something you enjoy and laugh.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like make it a point to seek out things that make you laugh because it resets your body in your nervous system.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: It lifts your vibration.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say lifts your vibration, it literally lightens you up.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: The higher you're vibrating in my experience, the easier it is to hear my inner guidance, to hear my spirit guides, to feel my ancestors, to feel the people who are like really there to help me and who the birds I view so can help me with my challenges and the crazy stuff.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: But if I am always focused on the crazy stuff, it does not allow that to happen.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: So me not putting down my troubles for a while to just rest and relax, yeah, literally keeps me trapped in those problems.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't allow inspiration to come in.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: So that laughter and relaxation is a fucking necessity.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: It is not, uh, what do I want to say, a privilege or has to be earned, does not have to be earned.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is something that is our birthright.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it's necessary, it's necessary for problem solving and survival.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we come into this world playing.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's how children deal with stress in life.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: They play.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's how they learn.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as adults, I don't know how that got weeded out, like that that was not practical or okay.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we find our solutions is to relax and play.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so taking those moments, putting life down for 10 minutes with your partner instead of um, I'm seeing an image of, you know, you come home from work, you put your stuff down, and you start going on about what happened in the office that day or what happened at work.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's don't do that.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Come in and just, I'm gonna take 15 minutes, make the vow.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna take 15 minutes when I get home.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put my shit down and I'm gonna go be silent for a while.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm gonna put my stuff down and I just want to hold my partner for 10 minutes.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see if I can get them agree to do that, you know.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like you make these bargains, you make these practices of little moments of connection.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a client.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Her question was, how can I connect with my husband more?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: And deeply loved each other, but it was they're like ships passing in the night.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: They just didn't have those little moments.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: 10, 15 minutes a day can change everything.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Of this, I just want to hold you.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Can we just sit and just like hold each other for five minutes when we get home?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or can we just talk about something we're excited about instead of bitching about the office?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's shifting that focus.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: These are not hard things, they're easy things.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's just don't underestimate their value.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: That is so big.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: I love how you said you you stay in the problems when you continue to speak on them.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_03: And it is important to get to get them out, but it's all about shifting energy.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: And so, and the more that we're present and we're in that vibration, then we're actually talking about, we're talking about in this episode how to connect with others.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_03: And if we're in our problems, we're not present and we're not connecting with someone else.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: So joy and laughter is just gonna bring in some extra spicy, you know?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Some opportunity, yeah.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a self-love thing too.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for example, I'll use my own self as my example.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am also a nurse and I work 12-hour shifts.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And my tendency was, I've changed, to come home, take care of what I need to take care of, you know, walk my dog, do that stuff, and then get ready for the next day and go to bed.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I got the nudge.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: I would get these nudges of, I really wish I could do this right now, but I can't.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I got to go to bed.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really wish I could sit down and spin on my spinning wheel.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: No, I can't.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I need to go to bed.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I got to get up and do this again.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I started giving myself those moments.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're talking like 10, 15 minutes.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody can spit spare 10, 15 minutes to just do that moment of something I love at the end of the night or when I get home.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's changed everything.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it recharges my batteries.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: 10, 15 minutes can just make all the difference in the world to devote to love.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: And as you were saying, intention is everything.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: What we focus on is what we get.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm always focused on, well, I have to get this done and I don't have time, guess what?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get more work to focus on.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have no time for myself.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: But when I carve out and say, I'm busy right now, but screw it.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: I deserve this.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm taking 10 minutes at my spinning wheel.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I'm gonna cuddle my dog next to me.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna spin um and just go for it or unwrap my Amazon packages.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: They had a tendency to stack up by the door, you know?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, nope, it's like Christmas.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm opening these now.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: These little things.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a statement to the energy of the universe saying, I'm worth it.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want more of this, and I will carve out time for it.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_03: I like that.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I like how you said devotion or and there's been themes of devotion that we've talked about.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I've seen we've talked about like devotion to body in different ways and expressing that with ourselves.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: And if we do have a partner, great, and we get to do that.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I was thinking of, and I wanted to circle back to one of the things that you had said where there were things that you had said to a partner where it was about the the beauty of that body part and what it does for them.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so a non-sexual way, because we we've talked about some sexual experiences or and moving that energy, we've talked about touch, uh, just a completely way to be in devotion with self and with a partner is these words of we want to call it words of affirmation, devotional love uh words, and the way that we speak to each other and ourselves, but having right time set apart where it is just in that space of that devotion where words are coming out.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: So it's creating this, I'll just say, you know, if if we are not the ones to be positive to ourselves, and then we hear, we actually spend time with someone where there's an intention we say, okay, we're gonna spend time with devotion to each other and just call out things in beautiful, loving ways.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: And we're we're creating this loving space with words, and there's no intention of, hey, we're gonna get to the bedroom, we're gonna do this.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: It is having creating just a space for each other, and that's intimacy, that's connection, and then that impacts us, of course, in the bedroom.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: If it if we were to get there then, you know, eventually or like another day, but being able to, I love your arm.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like I love the way that you just hold your arm or like your uh and we go to a lot of features too.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: We can go to a lot of sexual features, right?
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And that can be easy, but just all parts of the body, just all these parts.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I love how you shared before the feed and they get they bring you all to all these places, and all that.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's devotion.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is devotion and connection, like seeing something in someone that they may not even see in themselves, right?
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_03: But it's like I'm gonna connect with you, and then wow, like most likely if they have something that is uncomfortable, it may be because they've had an experience that has said otherwise, right?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_03: There's a belief there.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I can guarantee it.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: We do not come into this world not liking ourselves, we just don't.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's all it all gets influenced in on us.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: So, whatever that experience is, now you get to be with someone, and this person is sharing something they love about you and some body part or whatever it may be, it may not just be body part, but love about you.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: And we get to either maybe be uncomfortable and then learn to be comfortable, but it is creating a space for us to like, wow, we're seen.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: We're see, we're fucking seen.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that's what connection is about, seeing each other.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: Is that your takeaway for today?
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you have another takeaway for today?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, I like that.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: I like how that dropped in all fancy.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, visibility and being seen drops us, seeing ourselves first, drops us into presence and seeing someone else for truly them, not a projection of a past experience and and this happened with another partner, but truly seeing the person in front of us romantic friend, business client, whatever it is, the art of connection is people.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_03: So truly seeing them in my understanding when I when is through love.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm truly seeing love and expressing that in all forms.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: That is to me the art of connection.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that's my takeaway.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_03: I like it.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: How about you?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: My takeaway would be the power of 10 or 15 minutes of just as you were saying, presence with yourself or your partner and focusing on just being with them in those very conscious, tangible ways.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: Rub their palms, you know, for five minutes, rub their feet for five minutes, even if you're like, oh, it's feet, you know, it's it's learning those pieces.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: It will change you.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I agree.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: It will life changing, changing lives.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: Changing lives.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: Awesome.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you for tuning in today to Erotic Spirit Podcast.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_03: Hope you enjoyed it.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_03: If you have enjoyed, hit that like button, drop a comment, let us know what's on your mind.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: Follow us on all the social media platforms, we're live on all the major platforms.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for tuning in and bye for now.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_03: This podcast is sponsored by My Awakening Within.
• 33:42
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• 33:52
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• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: So join me online, myawakeningwithin.com, or linked in the show notes.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for hanging with us today.
• 34:14
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