Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Cheryl Burke and Kelly Bensimon talk Ghostlighting and the Quiet Divorce

Transcript

Cheryl Burke and Kelly Bensimon talk Ghostlighting and the Quiet Divorce · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentors Kelly Klaurn, Ben Simone and Cheryl Burke.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We're back together again together. I have missed you so much.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: We have so much to talk about between jingle Ball
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: and what's in the news.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: We just have like so so much. So let's get started.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Let's do it.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Where were you?
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Where was I? Yeah?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Why were you a dingle ball?
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: I was busy, too busy to go to dingle ball.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: You know how far jingle ball is for me? Far?
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: When I missed you, I.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Mean probably not as far as you, because you've traveled together.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Like where is Cheryl? I have not seen?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I hear came from New York.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I came in from you.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: What you came in from New York?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Exactly?
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not as far as you.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter I missed you anyway. There's no like
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: two minutes or twenty or ten hours I missed you.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, very.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Shay, how is jingle Balls?
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: Tell me jingle Balls?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I was jingle balls?
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: How was the balls a jingle Town?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: First of all, everyone is like super young.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: In case you're wondering, like all these bands, I'm like
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, everyone is soper young, Like, oh, they're
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: like my they're younger than my.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Kids, Like stop, who cares? Age is just a number.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just they were fantastic.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: They were really everyone like everyone had like their own vibe,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: like all the different bands, and then it was just
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: so great to like pods everyone like, I mean, we
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: just had so much fun from you know, from with
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Susan and Kathy from The Golden Bachelor and Joan.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: They're so fantastic. They're just so insightful and so cool
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: and so hot. I'm like, what is going on here
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: with these red sparkle pants and these mini shorts? And
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I hung out with Dina love her so much. She's
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: so great and obviously Jen Fessler and it's such a
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: great time.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: It was really fun.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: There you go, did you meet anybody? Well?
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I am seeing someone done done dum?
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Where is he is he in your home?
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Now? Is he right there? I want to see him?
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Is he hiding hiding? Say more?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: He's great.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: He's fifty nine, and he's very handsome. He's got two
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: gorgeous kids. He has a great ex wife. He's just
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: very solid, real.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Calm, well mannered, educated and has a job.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Whoa, And he's got a great ex wife. That's that's
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: not said lightly.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: She's great. That's great. So you met the ex.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Wife, you met the kids already?
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: When did this happen?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: And I met her? Wait?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Well, how did you guys meet? What you guys are
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: from the beginning? This is crazy? Congratulations by the way,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: this is great news.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: He's so great, he's so good. I met him in July, yes.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Say more.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I met him in July through my money manager.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I was literally like, I was like, I don't know
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: what's going on. I am like so freaked out, Like
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: my world is like totally upside down, like what is
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: going on with me? And she's like it's so weird.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I like with this really good friend of mine and
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: you know, he would.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Love to meet you. And I was like, are you
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: like what come on? Like they don't want to meet me.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: They're gonna be like, oh my god, she's a housewife,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: she's a model.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: She's stupid. I'm like a person says that I'm a
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: housewife and the model, I'm stupid. I'm gonna like, I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: don't know what I mean. You're not.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: That's not all of you, Kelly. It's just a part of.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: You, which part the stupid part of the home.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, people need to stop reading. I am dB or
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: whatever is that's still around.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, I wonder says about this?
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: Did he I loved that?
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Stay? Did he go jingle ball?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: As? He did not? He had to be in on
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the East Coast so he couldn't come.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Wait, hold on to He's not in the entertainment industry, no.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: But he wanted to. I took him to Heidi Clume's
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Halloween party.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, miss Heidi Klum Halloween party he loved. Oh, I'm
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: sure I have never even been to Heidi Klum's Halloween party.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Well, if you come to New York, I will take you.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: We will go.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Oh is that where it is? That's probably why. Yeah,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: you're like too far, not not cool enough to have
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: someone fly me there to hide clue.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Wait, what's big going on with your life? You are?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: What's going on? Where have you been? What is going on?
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: You're looking more gorgeous every single day. I'm like, I'm
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: stalking on and stuff.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: I'm like, where's my show? First of all?
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Your ballroom dancing? Can we talk about this?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Oh? I am trying to hold on.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: I cannot believe you didn't even contact me to ask
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: what are there any good like studios or like, you
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: just went for it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: So this company was like, would you ever be interested
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: in trying to dance?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And I'm like sure. I was like, it's called freda Stair.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I was like sure, why not?
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: I was like it's stair is that?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: And so? Yeah, how am I doing?
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: I only saw a quick snippet from what you guys
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: are together? But how do you? I mean, do you
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: like it?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Oh? It's so fun, it's super hard. I don't know.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I mean honestly, when I watch you dance, I'm like, God,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: she's so cool. It's so easy.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: It's so hard my whole life.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Hi, you're also amazing.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I have the longest legs, and it's just like I'm like, whoa,
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: here comes down.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You got to use those legs to your advantage. Girl,
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: you got to take advantage of those legs.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: How about there one time when I slid and I
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: was like and I kept sliding, and then the video
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: it kind of looks like I'm just sliding effortlessly.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Meanwhile I'm little, You're like holding on, You're like gripping
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: the floor. Okay, what have I been up to, well,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I have been what have I been up to? I've
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: just been really putting twenty twenty five. We're starting to
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: like really go through the year and figure out what
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be bringing into twenty twenty six versus not.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: But I made it to the Sephoras squad. I don't
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: know if you've seen this footage on my Instagram, but
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: basically it's amazing. I'm a part of I am Team
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Sephora over here and yeah, and I got like a
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: really big campaign with them that's starting next year.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Yay.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Don't know if I could even announce it, so who knows.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: We'll see. And I'm literally going still through this transition,
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: but I you know, I also got guest judge Dancing
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: with the Stars, so that was fun to see everybody.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: But it really it was fun. I mean it was nice.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: It was one big reunion and it was so emotional
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: for me behind the scenes, right just like leading up
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: to it, because it's been three years, but three long years.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: I've spent seventeen years on that show. But it was
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: really oddly it was I wasn't nervous when I was
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: like when it was live, but leading up to it
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: I was a hot mess. I was like, oh my god,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: what am I doing? Oh no, But then it just
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: was so natural for me, like to be there. I
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: don't know, it was it was nice to see everybody.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: This season was such an incredible season. But I'm also
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: ready to do other things, you know.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So what do you think?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Do you think do you feel like things have changed
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: on the show or do you think it's the same
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: as it.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Was or fan base has changed a little bit, not changed,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: it's just it's you know, it has a whole new
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: fan base really, and these fans are really serious and
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: they don't understand the history of the show, of the
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: way it was, so they are very aggressive, these fans.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: You know, I definitely got my uh, I don't know.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: They were coming after me for not giving alex Earl
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: a ten. But she got a nine. She got a nine.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: She did a great job she did, but they broke hold.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Sorry it comes sticking to it.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I love that too.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's like people, a lot of
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: people just want to be like, Okay, we like her
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: or where they want to say a great thing.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I like that. You're like, no, I want
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: you to be the best.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: I want you to it was so important.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was import important. It is because like I
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: when I competed, I wanted feedback because that's all we get, right,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: Like we really do take the judges comments to heart
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: and when there's not any notes, but then we still
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: get a seven or an eight, like we need information,
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: you know, And so that was what I wanted to
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: do that for the couples as much as possible.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: So I admire that.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I think that's amazing, and I'm sure that she really
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: appreciates it too, because when you're working that hard, you
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: want you want it, like you just said, you want
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: those notes and you want to you want to get
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: the A.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: You know, you want to get the A.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: You just need to give us in Yeah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Right, I love that. I love that congratulations.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I know that it was hard, and but you know,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I mean I really appreciate for you for that. That's amazing.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: All right, let's get we have so much talk about
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: me so happy to see you.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm so happy for you. By the way, are
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: you in love?
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Well, so you know I've never been in love. So
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: that's like, yeah, I told you that, no talk.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: About you could not say you've never been in love
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: your whole life.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I've never been in love, like what it's I mean.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I've loved people. I love people, I love my kids,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I love my friends, I love my family, I love people.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: You know, some of the people I've been in relationships with,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of love for them, but I
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: haven't been in love. Feeling love and feeling that in
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: love is totally different.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Totally yeah, okay, Well do you feel.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: A very nurturing person so like it's it comes naturally
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: for me to like want the best for people, But
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: being in love means that they also have the best intentions.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: For me too, and that also means you have to
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: be vulnerable. Yes, And so are you in love?
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know yet, that's okay, and that's okay, Okay,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I know I have I know I have a lot
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: of feelings, Okay, of like feelings.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, good feelings.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Great feelings, yes, very consistent feelings, like I've never had
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: this before. I've never felt I've never felt a calm
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: I've never felt.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Calmness from a man. I've always felt like.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Competition or you know, so much pressure, Like I've never
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: felt genuine calmness.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: And you and wow, this is a good sign. You
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: trust him?
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Do you see each other?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I do trust him, and that's like a big fan.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I've never trusted a guy either, So it's like I've
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: never been in love and I've never trusted a male
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: outside of my Wow, you know, I mean I have
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: males that I trust, but not my.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Kind of like it, not in an intimate way, in
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: an intimate relationship. Yeah. So twenty twenty six is gonna
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: be a big year for you. Big year, big year,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: big wedding, and I'll be teaching your first dance. Thank
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: you nobody.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Like watch done my watch. Okay, today, folks, we're gonna
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: chat about divorce trends, things that we're seeing in the headlines,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: as well as some celeb Chapter two related news. So
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: should we start with this new term? I I definitely
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: have gone through it, but I never heard of the
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: word ghost lighting? Have you?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I have?
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: So the Washington Post they did an article on ghost
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: lighting and other subtle red flags you should look out for.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: So do you want to talk to us Kelly about
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: your experience and what it is exactly?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: So, according to the Washington Post, ghost lighting is a
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: mixture of ghosting and gas lighting, so it's this double whammy.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I dated a guy who, like, on a
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Friday night at like eight point thirty, we'd be like
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: sitting there doing whatever, like I don't know, having' gosp
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: of wine or whatever, and all of a sudden, his
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: switch would flip and he would go crazy and like
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: start screaming and yelling and you do this, and you
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: do that and.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Then just disappear.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: And then on Tuesday he would just like randomly walk
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: in and be like, what's for lunch?
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I'd be like, not you, And then would
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: you gaslight yourself?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I in my defense, I had so much going on
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: in my own life with my kids and work that
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: when he would do that, I would kind of just
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: be like, like, he's clearly cheating or he's clearly doing whatever.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: And was that the case?
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, of course he was. I mean he said, he's
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: always like, I've never cheated on you. I'm like sure,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: So why would you get mad at me on a
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Friday night eight o'clock because you had other plans?
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And it was it like every Fridays, the clock like clockwork.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: You know, I actually have more than one experience with this.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: And and I was actually talking to my therapist earlier
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: today and I knew we were going to talk about this,
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: so I asked her. I was like, do have you
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: ever heard of this? And she's like, I've never heard
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: of the term ghostiding, but I definitely yes. This is
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: something that so many people experience, including you, Cheryl. You know,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: like where basically, you know, it's just a sign of
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: not like of them, basically like, let's go out and
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: then not hearing from that person for god knows how long,
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: like even up to a week, and then I would
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: I would be the person that was that that was
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: happening too, And then I would freak out and be like, wait,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: we just had a beautiful night together, Like what just happened?
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Why am I not hearing back from this person? And
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: basically it says, you know, this article says more about
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: ghost lighting. If you're in a situationship, basically your partner
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: just keeps things very vague, not because they want out,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: but because they fear being in. And it just gives
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: like so many different feelings of uncertainty and how you know,
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: one person may be led on, but then at the
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: same time things could be just going great, like I
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: could be telling my whole life story and then realize, wait,
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: this person has said nothing about their own lives. And
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: that is definitely something I've experienced almost in every I
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: would say, the last few people that I was in
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: a relationship with.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: So you're being vulnerable and you're opening yourself up and
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: they're just.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Like I tend to do that. I really like when
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: I'm with anyone, you know, I don't have anything to hide,
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: so yes, when you ask me questions about myself, I'm
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: going to answer them like if there's no I don't know.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I find it weird when you don't write, like when
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: you dance around the quest when we're just trying to
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: get to know each other. Mind you don't have to
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: tell your whole life story, but like some things, you know,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: would be nice just to get to know each other.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: But I have definitely felt like one foot was out,
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: one foot was in in a way, and it was
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: like very hard to not pin them down, but just
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: to like have some sort of certainty on anything, Like
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: it was just very much about him wanting to know
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: about me, but then there was nothing reciprocated.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think that like just just in
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: my experience, the guys that have done this to me,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, I just feel like these guys, it's not
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: that they're like so, I mean, it's not that they're players.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I just feel like they're like you're just out there
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: like fishing and trying to meet people and seeing who's
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: going to stick right, you know, they're like again, like
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: we were talking about before, it's like when you're a
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: well known person, they're like, oh, you're well known, so
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: they kind of treat you in a way that they
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: think is like going to put them like a give them,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: you know, the upper hand, and they're like if you're
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: not nice to me, like I'm not going to sit
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: here and wait for you, I'll just you know, go
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: and be with my friends or stay at home and
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: like just actually relaxed for a little bit.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Like I don't I just that used to that I could.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I can see right through it.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also confusing because they're like maybe they're just
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: really nice people, but they can't commit and that has
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: nothing to do with us, right, that has everything to
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: do with them. But like when you have already been vulnerable,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: like in my case, if I've already been vulnerable and
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: whatever that may be, whether it's intimacy or or just
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: talking about my life, and it's just like it's so
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: one sided. It's just not balanced.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I think that one thing that happens is that these
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: guys are or you know, whatever relationship.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: You're in and this happens.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I think that A it's control and B they are
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: fishing around and.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: They're just kind of you know, they're just kind of there.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: They think they see it all.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: It's just like talking like, oh I didn't, I sorry,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I got, I got. Didn't talk to you for you know,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: two weeks.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: It's like what and.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: These are men we're talking about. We're not talking about place.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I had a guy I went I went out with
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: a guy and he told me, was like, oh yeah,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: he's like he's like the last girl girl.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I went out with. I didn't talk to her for
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: two weeks after our date.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: I was like, what why why?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that's Do you think it's because they're so
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: scared of like confrontation or they just want to play games.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I think they want to play games, and I think
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: that they're scared of confrontation. And I just think that
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: there's like it's like, honestly, the fish, the fishing out
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: there is just so big, and it's just like there's
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: so many different people of all different ages that are
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: really attractive and really interesting and they're just available, and
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: like why on earth would you tie yourself down with
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: one person when you could be out with two or
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: three a night, or you know what.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: And also the gaslighting part of it, Like in my case,
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: I started to question if my expectations were too high,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: if I was just going like it would always be
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: my doing. I always felt like it was maybe I
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: came out on too aggressive, or maybe I was too
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: love you, like I don't know. But that's where the
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: gas lighting part of it came in in my case.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Which I think is like an awful thing in itself,
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Like I don't want to be with someone who is
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: trying to make me insecure so makes them feel better.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's like, let's like someone saying, meet something mean to you.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, no, this is not no.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I already was on that television show it's called Housewives.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I don't bring them down.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh I know, I get it, and it sucks,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: it does. It sucks, But I wish I would have
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: known or even if I did, I think it still
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: would have sucked. But like the fact that it's just
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: never it's not that it's not our fault, right, like
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: the gas lighting part, I could have maybe not really
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: had that negative self talk towards myself. But I'm still
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: currently working on it. I mean it's a thing for
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: me in general.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I mean a lot of if you're having those negative
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: self feelings, Like literally, like before I met I can't
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: say his name, Before I met the guy.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: That just give me a social Security number, she I
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: was like, I would find everything. Oh I should have
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: been I should have been a private I would have
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: been really good at it.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: But before I was, I was dating him, I just
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: like I just felt like all these guys were just
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: like they were just all they were using me too.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: They would like go on a date and I felt
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: like they'd be like I just.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Guess what I went on a date with, Like if
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: then they were using me as like chum.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Like other conversation starters. Yes, we talk about quiet divorce.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Have you ever gone? Do you know what this is?
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: Like what a quiet divorce is?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about it.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Let's quiet divorce is a kind of term that blows
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: up online because people recognize themselves in it before they're
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: ready to admit it out loud. That's what happened to
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: me with my with my ex husband, we were not together.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: We were a part all the time, and we were
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: were divorced, but we were together.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Right and so.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: But by keeping separate rooms.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: We were sleeping in. Yeah, he wasn't even in New York.
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: He was going to travel all the time.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: But study finds recently highlighted the trend calling attention to
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: her breakup that doesn't kick the door so much as
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: tiptoes into the room and sits on your chest. O God.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: It describes a slow erosion of intimacy inside relationships that
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: may not be alarming from the outside but feel hollow.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: In a day to day.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Oh have you ever heard of John Gotman?
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: That's heartbreaking. You're just gonna just go on. That's hard.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: No, I'm going to continue. But have you heard of
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: the Gotmans before? No?
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: I have not.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Oh John Gotman and his wife I forgot her name,
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: but they when I was going through my relationship and
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I divorced, I studied these two because they basically have
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: done decades and decades of research on just patterns when
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: it comes to married couples, and basically, John Gotman's research
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: shows that relationships often unravel long before the first big fight.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: The early warning signs usually aren't dramatic. They show up
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: in ignored comments, half hearted listening, and small bids for
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: connection that are met with a shrug. A funny text
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: doesn't even get a reaction, a story gets interrupted, A
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: partner points out a cool bird or a weird cloud
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: and gets nothing back. One moment doesn't mean much, but
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: over time, those small misses create emotional distance that's much
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: harder to repair than any argument. So basically, they followed
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: a few couples the Gotmins for like many many years,
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: for nearly a decade, and they found that the ones
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: who reported more boredom early on were less satisfied later,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: partly because feeling stagnant made them less likely to seek
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: out shared experiences that kept the relationship feeling alive. It's
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: so fascinating, right, and I definitely can relate to this,
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: not just in marriage but also in just relationships, Like
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: there is a point where and this was when I
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: started getting nervous and scared where either I would just
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: break it off because I was scared that I was
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: going to be cheated on or it would just happen naturally, right,
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Like where you start to like kind of feel complacent
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: in a way and you don't know what to do
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: and everything, or if you even hold it out even further,
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: you start to feel disgusted with each other, Like little
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: things that used to be cute are no longer cute,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: So like let's talk about boredom, Like what are your
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: what you know, have you ever been in a relationship
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: where you were where you had boredom?
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think the boredom stops when the communication,
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: or the boredom starts when the communication stops and when
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: somebody's hiding something from you, you know your partner is
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: because you're no longer it's not, it's just not. You
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: have to work on it the relationship. When it comes
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: to being bored you know what's the opposite of that,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: It's like, how do you make things and exciting again
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: for the two of you? This is a work, This
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: is a it's work, Like it's not going to just
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: happen naturally like it does when you first met, Like
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: the honeymoon phase is over right.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: But I also I like this, this idea of but
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: when a partner points out a cool bird, I mean,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: that is such a simple, simple thought. And what's crazy
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: about it is that we're inundated with our you know,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: our slack our you know, text, dms, Instagram, emails, like
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: all this stuff, conversations, zooms, meetings, drinks, children, school, like
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: all these different things, and then all of a sudden,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: you come home to talk to your partner and you
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: want to talk to them about your.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Day, and then the relationship.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Like you never you forget to talk about the actual relationship.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: And I think I think that's where, too, where the
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: boredom sets in, because you're so disconnected.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Well yeah, but also like if you, let's say you
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: guys were just dating too, It's like, if you pointed
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: out that bird, you're action would have been a lot
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: different than it was six years later, right, right, So
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: everyone's always on their best behavior, right the first few months.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Well, so it's interesting because on Housewives I used to say,
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: because these there were like fighting and arguing, I used
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: to say, let's agree to disagree.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes we do have to do that.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Right, But I am in my phase of like I
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: want you to disagree with me, and I.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Want you to tell you what you do want that
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: I want that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I want, I want, you know, positive criticism from my
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: partner because he is my partner, the person that I'm
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: like going to and saying like, if you are my boyfriend,
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: I want to.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Be able to go to you and say, you know,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: it's getting real.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I need you to tell me what your thoughts are,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: your actual genuine thoughts, not something that's going to make
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: me feel better or just say something like.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Kelly's always says that disagree to whatever you want.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: You want to feel like, you want to feel like
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: you can trust him to tell you that. Trying to
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: feel heard, Yeah, you want to feel heard and seen? Yes? Yes?
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: And do you have you ever felt this, by the way,
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: have you ever felt this type of yeah? No, not hurt,
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: but like the.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I heard, No, I've never been heard before.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: You and me both or scene I see you, I
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: hear you. Don't worry, let me too, I see it.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: That's all that matters. And really what matters is if
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: you hear and see yourself first.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I mean I think you.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Know, like we've talked about this my you know, my
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: my ex husband, you know He was like you, it
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: was like caveman. He was like, you're gonna be mine.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: We're gonna be the American couple, even though he's French,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: and that's what's gonna happen. And we're gonna have babies
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: and you're just going to create this image and that's
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: what's going to happen.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Then I did, and that was.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Great for him and my you know, this my second relationship.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: He was really adamant about me creating an environment for
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: him to help his business, and I just didn't.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Want to do that. Did you know that about Tom?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Just right, someone's chump. Like I want to be someone's
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: partner in love crime. I want them to do them.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: I me, and then we do.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: I just I think though nowadays, with technology, I think
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: people's expectations of it having to be like fireworks constantly
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: is out of control. That's not real life. And this
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: is why I've always said movies like The Notebook, movies
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: like any of these love stories that we all love
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: and cry when we watch, it's dangerous. It's a dangerous
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: message because that is not reality. And I was gullible
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: enough to believe that I needed to find that type
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: of love and but if you really watched the movie
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: The Notebook, Ryan Gosling is stalking her, Like he's straight
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: up stalking this woman and it's not healthy. But we're like,
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: oh my god, is that your.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Stock?
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Me too? No, you don't like we don't want that,
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: like I promise you.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: But even like Sarah Deeseka Parker, like he sends all
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: these emails, like thousands of emails and she like signs
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: them in her spam and I'm like or in her
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: whatever her like deleted emails or something, and I'm just like, no,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I want someone to.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Be like, that's crazy.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is crazy.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: That's a scary movie.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, I totally agree.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, have you and your boyfriend boyfri can I
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: say boyfriend? You guys are partners? Boyfriend partners? Have you
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: guys have have you?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Fine? Boyfriend?
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Boyfriend okay?
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Lover man okay fine, Oh he's more than that. Stop it, lover.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: That's how many man male friends do you have? I mean, no,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: I have boyfriend. Boyfriend is so juvenile? Okay, so so
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: what love love partner who I'm intimate with makes it
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: sound like not right. I can't say his name. I
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: don't even know his name, so it doesn't matter. Have
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: you guys gone like, do you feel like he tells
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: you how it is the way you want him to.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: No, he does not tell me the way it is.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Why he tells me the way that it should be.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: He tells me true, he doesn't back down like he does.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: He's straight up with you.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Yes, he's very very good at being
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: super honest with me. But I also listen to what
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: he's saying.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: You respect him a lot.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: And is it respected?
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I definitely, he definitely reciprocates.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: He's definitely very interested in what I'm doing, but not
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: to the point where it's bad. He just wants me
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: to be great at what I'm doing. And so I
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: he doesn't say anything. I always have to ask for
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: help and he you know, he includes me in what
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: he's doing. And you know, I know a lot about
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: his business because I worked in fashion. I mean, I
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: didn't work in his business, but I did work in fashion,
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: so I know a lot about his business.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So he works in he can have a conversation with
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: me about fashion. Yeah.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Wait, so he works in fashion. I'm so confused. He
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: works in we'll talk offline Okay, let's move on to
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: my boyfriend AI. Just kidding. More couples are using AI
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: to handle chat. I love chat. How about good old
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: what's his name Claude? I like him or it? More
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: couples are using AI to handle their divorce, and some
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: couples are actually turning to chat GBPT that is and
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: other AI tools to help navigate a divorce. Here's what
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: local lawyers are seeing. For better and for worse. Communication
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: can obviously be tricky during a divorce. The process emotional,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: the stakes are often high. Increasingly people are looking at
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: AI basically programs like Chat, GBT and Google Gemini to
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: help draft text I totally get it, you know, I
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: totally get it, and emails, particularly in cases with high
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: conflict spouses or contentious co parenting. I'm seeing a lot
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: of people. Yeah, anyway, do you use chat GPT?
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Yes? For what?
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: For a lot of things, personal work, compiling text messages,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: softening or hardening emails.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Because I'm I'm a straight shooter, I don't have time
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: to be sure sure And when some people like come
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: at me for my text, like how cold I was? Like,
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: first of all, it's a text. Second of all, you
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: can't hear my tone like it's just because I had
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: like one word answer. It was like, you don't know,
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: I could be driving, like what what is this? So
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: I will ask chat, good old chat sometimes to be like,
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: can you have reword this for me?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: By the way, yes, exactly, I'm like, make it softer.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: But I think, for example, in the in the in
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: the thought of a divorce, especially if it's contentious or
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: co parenting, I think that's great because sometimes you need
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: it needs to be diffused, and when you're in the
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: heat of something, you feel like you're just gonna go
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: after that person. But at the end of the day,
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: there is no there's no way to win when you
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: are two co parents.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: There is no winning.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: The The only.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Endgame is the success of your children. So if you're
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: arguing with a man or a woman about co parenting,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: you are sadly mistaken on what the actual goal is.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: The goal is the child, not your ego.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely don't. I don't know.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Thatt is like, I don't care about your ego.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, you can train chat gipt to care,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Meaning like meaning like what what Chattychi, what chat gpt
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: is doing is it saying if it's be more aggressive
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: about being more aggressive about pickup is saying pickup is
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: very important. I need you to do this, you know
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: if they know the word.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I hear you. I have chat, GPT right
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: makeup tutorials for me. So it's like, I'm like, wrong products,
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: How dare you?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: So that is crazy? I mean, I think it's great.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: Divorce experts on this pod have suggested that people make
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: a new email address that is only used to communicate
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: with your ex, so you only open it and use
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: it for that reason. That's smart.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I actually with my with my ax, I told him
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: that he could not should not text anymore and that
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: everything has to be documented.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Through email for several reasons.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: One because you have to go into an email, and
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: number two you have to create an email like it's
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: actually a different form.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's great.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: They also have divorce communication apps for that now too.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: It's great too.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: I wish this was around when I was just kidding.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I wish it was because probably I would have you know,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I would have verbally handled thing, communicated things in a
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: different way.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I think people who are anti AI
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: need to honestly, maybe kind of be a little bit
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: more open to it because I'm telling you, though we
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: may not like it, or though they may not like it,
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: look it's happening, right. We cannot change this. AI is
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: happening in front of our lot, in front of us,
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: and it's going to affect all of us if we
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: don't know what the hell we're doing in ten years
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: from now and AI is ruling the world. I think
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: it's only to our benefit to educate ourselves on how
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: this works, because, yes, can it be used in a
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: way where it may not be ethically you know, something
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: that people want to get behind maybe, but there's also
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: positives to this as well. And I think that instead
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: of looking at like, oh AI is taking my job
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: or whatever it is, it's like we're gonna have to
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: learn how to work with AI. So we're gonna have
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: to do it at some point, and you don't want
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: to feel behind.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And I think it's just like having that tool on
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: your tool belt, you know what I mean, You're not
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: going to use a screwdriver when you need a hammer.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: Like hey, it's like it's when like the laptop came out,
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: it was like or like.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know, I'm not using that. I'm not using that.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, nice exactly exactly, So I think it's only
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: I think it's what it's only beneficial to everybody. Let's
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: talk about Blake and Gwen. Shall we?
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Yes? Please?
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: So Blake and Gwen, they're solid despite divorced speculation. I
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: love how everyone has is like it's conscious uncoupling. They're solid.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Everyone has like a word that they're using to define
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: whatever it is is going on.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I love them.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: So they're heading into the holiday season as a united front,
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: despite the rumors suggested otherwise. Shelton is forty nine and
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Stefani is fifty six.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: She looks fantastic. Wait really, I know I said that too.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, she looks fantastic.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I don't.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: She's a year younger than me. She looks unbelievable.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: I believe it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: She's incredible, incredible, it's phenomenal. And he's also a smoke show.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: So they're both like.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: Fifty.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: I am shocked.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: I know she's gorgeous. I don't know.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: I guess I've never thought about her and her age,
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: just like.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Either No, she's been around forever, and I was just like,
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: how old, is she.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: I wish her makeup line was a little better though.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, So she's winding down a busy twenty
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: twenty five together and we'll support each other through an
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: even busier twenty twenty six.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: So she said, there's no split to the removers.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: But here's the situation, and we both know this. When
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: you are with when you're partnered up with someone in
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: an intimate relationship that has a highest stressful job like.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: You do, it's very very very difficult. Okay, I mean
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: you know that.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I mean, I know relationships are difficult.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so and then you add the dynamic of like
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: your work.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: In addition, I just think people need to mind their
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: own business. I mean, there you go for real, like
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: who started? I mean, even if they're not okay, like
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: they owe us nothing.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: True story, they don't. But I also think that it's
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: a very it's very very difficult.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: It is difficult. It is difficult, but I also believe
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: it can be as long as the communication again is
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: still intact. I mean, clearly they love each other, and
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: I mean I just saw a picture of them like
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: pushing some cart like they were a grocery store. They
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: seems great. But like you never know, you know, but.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: They go to the grocery store exactly.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I don't even go to the grocery store. I would ducked.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, whoa there, Nelly.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Well they're Nelly.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: No, they're I mean, they're both pro professional, they know exactly,
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: you know, how to navigate.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Their lives and not worried about I don't me neither.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I love them. I think they're fantastic.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I don't know if you know this, but
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: I danced with Jack Osborn do you do?
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: You know that?
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: So I became very you know, I still am, I mean,
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: a longtime friend of mine, and I have such a
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: soft spot whenever anyone asks me who my favorite partner
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: or partners were, and he's definitely up there. And I
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: just the whole family. Really, it was really sad when
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Ozzie passed for me. It was because, you know, I
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: spent Christmas with them in London one one year, and
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: God that they were such a tight knit family. I
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: mean they still are, obviously, they're all so close to
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: one another, and you know, Ozzie was a legend, and
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: it was just so it's just so sad, and to
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: see them the you know, just feel so sad and
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: to see even Kelly, Kelly danced on Dancing with the
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Stars as well, like before Jack did many years prior
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: to Jack. But you know, it's just really shitty with
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: what's going on right now with people attacking Kelly for
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: her appearance. And I'm not saying I've gone through the same,
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: but I went through something similar and I still am.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's so many nick, so many women, and
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: it is so she's so right, like so many women
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: that are just coming at other women for their appearance.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Did you see did you see the video?
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I mean it's just like, first of all, I mean
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: it's just I mean, the way that she articulates it
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: is just like devastating.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I mean I can't. I mean, I mean, I know
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: how nasty fans can be.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: No, but it's not just fans. It's like people and
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: in same with me, And it's still happening. Like on TikTok,
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: their engagement will go up by a thousand percent if
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: they do a whole video on like my the way
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: I used to look versus the way I look now,
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: Like I was just showing my friend. I think it
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: was like just three days ago, like it is insanity.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: I've never seen anything like it. Their engagement is higher
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: than mine. And it's like and there's or saying that
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: they're doctors. I don't know if they are. They're dressed
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: like surgeons, talking about what I did to my face,
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: like actually going step by step with a laser and
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: pointing to what I used to look like in two
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: thousand and six versus now in twenty twenty five with
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: like a surgeon hat on, and and it's shocking. It's
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: just shocking. And people are getting on this bandwagon. And
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: social media is so great in many ways, but this,
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: I have to say, just makes it for me. I
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: don't feel safe. I'm not as active on TikTok anymore
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: because of it.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: That's awful.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's such a good medium for you, and
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: that's terrible that they use horrible.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: It's terrible.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: But I mean I also I lost my father. I mean,
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: they are they do. They have this beautiful, beautiful family.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: They when they were in an event like you see
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: like at least two or three of them are at
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: the event as well.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: They are just they're just a spectacular family and lost people.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: You cannot judge how people are going to process loss.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: And I don't even, I don't even. I'm just surprised
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: that she's out working. I mean, I'm I'm I harold.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Her for it.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: I mean it's probably helping her though, to stay busy,
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: right right, Also like my when my father died as well,
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Like I don't know, I don't even know if I'm
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: done grieving, Like you just don't know. Grief is not
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: on anybody's timeline. We don't have any control over it,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: and people are going to handle it differently, period.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, I could not agree more.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: I Mean, one of the things that I thought was
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: so beautiful is just what he said, kiss me and
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: hug me tight. I mean, I have never been in
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm I have these feelings for my new boyfriend.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Oh you want so?
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Sharon Osborne reveals Ozzy Osbourne's final words to her before
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: before his death kiss me.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: And hugged me tight.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I have never had a relationship with a man like
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: that where I thought that that's how that's how much
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: he loved me.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I mean literally getting emotional. I mean, it's just such
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: a it's such beautiful.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: And they've gone through so many ups and downs, right, so.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: Many and so many iterations of their family and their life,
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: and I mean, it just it's just been like this
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: real like roller coaster and it's just I mean, I
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: just it's.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: And obviously yeah and hugged me time, and obviously like Sharon,
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: where we all just have so much love for the Osborne's.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: But you know, I'm I personally am wishing Sharon the best,
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: you know, because she's gonna she's stepping into her chapter
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: two though she may not it may be hard to
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: see that, you know for now, but it's like it's
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: so I don't know, I think he made such a
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: huge impact. The whole family did remember MTV days when
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: they did to Osborne's, That's who I thought when they
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: told me I was dancing with Jack. That's who I
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: thought I was dancing with. You're like, no, and and
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I have to tell you Jack has made you know,
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: he has definitely been I would say a mentor in
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: a way when I was going through my sobriety because
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: he's been sober for so many years as well, and
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: like he's such a good person, which means that he
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: has been raised, you know, in a great family, and
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: like they're all just so like that's family they're just
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: there for each other. Oh my god, like them.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: But you know, it's interesting because it's like she said,
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: you know, if only I had told him I loved
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: him more, Like, oh, I mean you know, so it's
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: like we just have to be so respect.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: I knew that. I mean, they there's no way Ozzie
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: didn't know that though, Like there's you know, there's just
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: been that they've been through so much together and they
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: were never going to leave for each other ever.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: No, Oh my god, all right, Candy Candy Burrows a
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: strange husband, Todd Tucker, sends a message of support amid
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: the divorce. So Candy, her empire keeps on growing and
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: her ex Todd couldn't be.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: Did I wait?
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: No, when I love her?
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I met her at Brava Con. It's it's recent. I
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: met her at Brava Con and she is fantastic.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: I was in the elevator with her and I was like, whoa,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: She's like Kelly on my Candy.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: She's like, how are you. I'm like I'm well. It
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: was like, was like, I don't what to say to her.
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: Is she amazing? I mean, I'm very she.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: Has incredible presence. She's very cool. Oh, she's gonna Dancing
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: with the Stars.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: No, she should, she should.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's fantastic.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I just think that's really incredible that on
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: an Instagram post he shares clip of Candy and he's like, he's, well,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: who's going to make her debut in the Jukebox Music
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: musical December eleventh, belting Pink song Perfect, And he just says,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: good job, Candy.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: He's still supportive. He's still very supportive of her, even
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: they both seem to be it was amicable and assuming
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: the divorce.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Last month, the Grammy winner announced that she intended to
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: seek a divorce from Todd, whom she shares children Ace
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: nine and Blaze six, explaining that she was stepping into
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: a new chapter.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: It's a difficult.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Emotional time, she said in the statement to people at
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: the time, but my focus remains on protecting my peace,
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: being the best mother I can be and do, and
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: co parenting with.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Love and respect. Candy has also been candid about her
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: personal toll.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Breakup has taken, admitting that she's felt emotionally broken in
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: the wake of.
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: The spill, which is a normal split.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Wake of the split, I mean, of course.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it also doesn't seem like they hate each
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: other either.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: No, but I mean sometimes you know when you know
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: it's not right.
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it takes a lot of courage.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I mean I.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Told you my story. I was just like, I can't
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: do this. I mean, maybe I was not as mature
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: in handling you know how I felt about it. Yeah,
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: I just knew that it was not right for me.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: So I admired them for being mature exactly exactly. And
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: you know, sending love because this is not fun obviously
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: and it's hard. But they have kids involved, which I
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: don't have any experiences, but you do. But yeah, I
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: think it's important they.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Keep the peace. They do, they keep the peace.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: Well that was jam Pack, huh happening? So much happening
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: in the world of chapter two. I feel like I've
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: one chapter seven.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: I know there is a lot, So I have you
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: been struggling to navigate.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Your Chapter two? Call us our email us.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: All the is in the show notes and we are
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: here to help follow us on socials. Make sure to
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: rate and review the podcast I do Part two an
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: iHeartRadio podcast or falling in love.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Is the main objective or is it? I'd love saying
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: That, and I love that you say it, and I
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: love my question at the end, or is it