Latest / Jess Ask / Sista Sista | Featuring: Kendal McWilliams | S3E3

Transcript

Sista Sista | Featuring: Kendal McWilliams | S3E3 · Jess Ask

• 0:06
  Hey, it's your girl, Jess. You've just entered a safe space for
• 0:10
  Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed
• 0:16
  it a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be
• 0:21
  sure to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the
• 0:27
  Jessica es Smith and Invital Friend. Also make sure you DM me your feedback
• 0:35
  and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get into
• 0:41
  this week's episode. So, Father, God, we thank you for this
• 0:46
  day. We thank you for this time. We thank you or God for
• 0:49
  this atmosphere. God. We thank you for Kendall joining us on Just Ask.
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  God. I thank your God for in larging her territory, just expanding
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  her, Lord God. But I also thank you, Lord God for her
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  voice. I thank you God for or the experience this attached and developed her
• 1:03
  voice over time. And God, I know that this story, whatever she
• 1:07
  says, whatever we converse about in this next these next moments, it will
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  be of you God, because you have developed her. You have created her
• 1:15
  for a time such as this. And so God, I thank you for
• 1:18
  her new level of exposure. I thank you, Lord God for just our
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  new level of mindset. Lord got her identity that's found in you, and
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  so Lord, we love you, adore you. Allow every decision that is
• 1:29
  made from this day for and this moment, for it to be made through
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  you, for you and by and Jesus name. Amen, Amen, Amen,
• 1:36
  Maybe you already no, we pray befo we go. Yeah, we
• 1:41
  pray. Hollelujah, hallelujah, hallelujen hallelujah. Luis. Listen, listen you
• 1:53
  already know, y'all. For those that don't know, it's your girl,
• 1:59
  Jessica Smith. You don't just ask. Thank you so much for coming by.
• 2:02
  And I have a special guest, the first guess of season three,
• 2:07
  and I'm super excited. I'm super excited because I told y'all she was coming.
• 2:13
  Listen. If y'all don't know who this is, y'all, y'all not
• 2:15
  following the Kendall's dread heads. She don't just talk about dreads, but she
• 2:21
  get in your head. Okay, you need to pay me for that line.
• 2:24
  You need to pay me for just ask boob. Let me tell you
• 2:29
  I got a proof that I had that before you and your daughter was on
• 2:31
  my on my YouTube. Yeah, but I said you remember it was coming
• 2:36
  up with stuff and I was like, Jesse, you came up maybe with
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  your own theme song. You know, I'm gonna give you credits ahead because
• 2:45
  because you take credit. Okay, take a lot of credit. Okay.
• 2:50
  So, y'all, if we sound up. First of all, if you
• 2:53
  think you're listening to two voices, if you're just listening on podcasts, you're
• 2:57
  not. It's literally another person. So if you want to say, we'll
• 3:00
  think I'm saying so. You said, I'm saying something. So this is
• 3:06
  my voice. My voice is a little raspier because I'm still trying to get
• 3:08
  it back, and a little deeper. You know. Fun fact fact they
• 3:13
  tell you the more children you have, the deeper your voice kids. Did
• 3:16
  y'all know that? No, that's not true. Look it up. I
• 3:20
  figured it out. I watched the video ten years. No, it was
• 3:23
  just I like fun facts. If you didn't know, like that's what I
• 3:25
  do. Know that. But you also like Google I do. But that's
• 3:30
  a that's a random thing. Girl. Let me finish introducing you. I'm
• 3:31
  so sorry, my god, y'all. I'm trying. I'm trying to trying
• 3:38
  to give her her props, but she's not allowing me to give it.
• 3:40
  Desi, Ray, what what do you think? Quiet? You want to
• 3:44
  introduce Knda? Do you go ahead? My god? Okay. So this
• 3:53
  is my sister who happens to be an entrepreneur, a mother, a friend,
• 4:01
  a wife, just the bomb dot com. She is known as Kimdall's
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  dread Heads. Fun fact, her husband's name is Kimball as well, so
• 4:14
  we don't call him Kimball. We call him Vun. Shout out to be
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  Vun. That's my brother in law, who I love. My brother in
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  law. Say hey, so we got it on year, Kim how long
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  you've been doing here? Maybe I shouldn't say that because that's disrespectfully it des
• 4:31
  a rate. Deserrate is a cosmetologist too, So some people take it.
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  Like I said, some people, I'm that person because of how I began
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  my journey into cosmetology or doing hair or whatever. I don't get offended easily
• 4:46
  because of how it started. Some people get offended easily, I think in
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  the industry. But I don't what's there to be offended though, Like you
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  know, I think it's a title thing. So you know how people just
• 4:59
  flew in just say, like you do. Hell yeah, it's like the
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  dreads locked first people ibnor like a lot of people. That's what I said.
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  It just depends, I think on the person. I don't get offended
• 5:10
  easily like some people. The word nappy, you know what I'm saying.
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  The word nappy can be, you know, something that we take as a
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  culture and embrace. I know a girl who has that in her you know,
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  her logo or name or whatever. But but I I like it.
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  But some people take offense to it because it could be something that's negative.
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  It is something like dreds too, like you know Kendall's dred Heads. I
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  went back and forth with myself saying, you know, uh, people are
• 5:36
  going to be offended by this. But then I was like, I'm not
• 5:39
  offended, so that's all. That's all that matters. And I know what
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  I mean by I put a different meaning behind dreads, So that's powerful.
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  First of all, you said two things, Like you said that you thought
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  about it, you considered other people, but then you also considered yourself,
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  and it's like that's number one. Number two is that you did not allow
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  other people have to final say so about your progression. Like I think a
• 6:02
  lot of times we miss out on on things like even even just ass like
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  I was trying to figure it's like, oh my gosh, what what do
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  people want to hear? What people want to listen to? I'm just gonna
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  talk about what we're gonna talk about, right like, there's there's a way
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  we're talking, Like, okay, so what we're talking about to day it
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  was like, I don't know, whatever the Lord want to talk about.
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  That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna like, we're gonna we're gonna flow,
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  We're gonna have a good conversation. And that's what we do on just
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  ass we have good conversations. So what's what's the what's the upset about?
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  Dreads versus this lock thing? And let me let me pause because there's racing
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  here looking at me crazy and I keep looking up. I wish I cannot
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  wait for us to get another camera, y'all, because she acting like she
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  don't know I'm looking at her whole I say, she just has like like
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  the eyes I have the big eyes where you're staring and looks like now she's
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  just like I'm just what are we talking about right now? I think it's
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  a good conversation it is. I know she's listening, listening, you know
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  what I'm saying, Kendle the gas I know, but y'all know I don't.
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  I don't. I don't do here. But I talked kinda how to
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  do dream some something. Let me let me make this, let me say
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  it straight. Okay, the reconstraint. I was the one that was twisting
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  and locking. I was on the University of Alabama campus, you know,
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  trying to make an extra coin. So and you know I twisted some locks.
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  Okay, I twisted some locks. Was I as good as you are
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  today? Not pals? No pause, because I always say this, and
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  you know I take pride in Kiml's dreads. But the thing that irritates me
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  about Jessica is that you can teach her something one time and she gets and
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  she's one of those people and I get. I tell my clients that all
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  the time. I was like, y'all, if I really just sat down
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  and talked Jessica like the things that I've learned over the past ten years of
• 7:57
  doing here, She'll pick it up and just be like better than me.
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  I really believe that, No, I really believe that. Well, that's
• 8:03
  a compliment. I thank God, thank God for you want my God.
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  However, now you, for one, you got too much patience. Pause.
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  But I'm talking about just doing the hair, like I believe that you
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  can physically do what you're doing. I really do. And I think that's
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  just you know something that's Oh my bad, that's that's that's my bad,
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  y'all. I'm sorry, I can bring it closer. Oh I'm sorry.
• 8:39
  Sometimes I get my little preacher thing going. Anyway, put that lip on
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  that mic Listen, he put that and he starts spinning on them. Mac
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  too. Don't do that. You're telling the people that you brought them up
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  and you don't listen to this just because you're on him. But anyway,
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  let's let's let's let's see why, because you know how we go, these
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  people are gonna be like about But I think I thank you for the compliment.
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  But back to the Dreads versus the Locks situation, Like, what's what's
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  the upset about that step on some toes? This is just my thing,
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  and I like, I have to defend my my brand when I say kimdil
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  Dreads and and let's let's make this clear, I say both, but most
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  of the time naturally where flows from my mouth, it's locks. So just
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  doing research, we as a people have come up with like when I say
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  we are the people, I mean Black Americans, right, we've come up
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  with the idea that dreads uh was a negative thing, like nothing dreadful about
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  my hair. I'm sure that like slavery. Right. See, you know
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  if you just listen send to somebody that like just told you on the street,
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  of course you're gonna roll with it. And it's so many people saying
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  it. But I was just like man like, but I remember like listening
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  to like Bob Marley and other people like dreadlock rasta, and we listened to
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  all these people and other black people in other countries say the worst dreads?
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  So how was it that we got into it? So after doing my research,
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  we just came up we didn't like it. It never was created like
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  we created the name dreads. White people did not create it. And just
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  going into more research again, that's just something that we came up with,
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  Like when we said that Tommy Hill figured on't like oh black people, y'all
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  remember y'all remember you know, y'all know we got an auntie that told us
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  to stop putting that Tommy Hill figure on and then and you do your research.
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  He's like, he never said that. One person said it and we
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  rolled with it and got mad just because somebody, yeah, we feel like
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  said it or just the rumors or whatever. And I think that's I think
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  that's a level of ignorance. Yes, Like there's a we have to present
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  ourselves as smart enough to do a research. And I was in this bathroom
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  today and I was thinking about it. I was like, man, people
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  be saying that they research stuff, but they really google and just like go
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  to the first thing they see and roll with it. Right. Research is
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  what it says. You search something and you research it like you keep doing
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  it. That's why even in school they ask you for multiple sources. Yes,
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  because if the source I'm about to preach to somebody on today, come
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  on, if the source, if different sources have a bottom line, then
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  the bottom line is the truth. Everything else's opinion, right, And so
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  if you have no proof, like what you do, not worry search you
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  google. I just be warning people every time they say something to me,
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  I'm like, okay, show me the facts. If you show me the
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  facts, I will stop. Show me the carfax. Please please show me
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  the carfax. Like I said, it's it's It's not something I'm saying to
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  be offensive. If I offend people. I tell people all the time,
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  it's no no way that I'm trying to offend you at all, because it's
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  just a part. I think dreadlocks sound cooler to me. I just love
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  the word dreads. I feel you look cute with you too. Thank you.
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  You worked hard for your hair, y'all I did, can I do
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  like? I don't want you to think throw. I mean you've been throwing
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  shade years. Go ahead. This is not throwing shade. I should have
• 12:22
  gotten my glasses. This is your hair is flourishing. Thank you, Like
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  real, I would take my head off, but I got helmet hair.
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  But thank you, your hair is flourishing, yours, yours this first of
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  all, kindlehead, dread heads. You know doing this, It's gonna get
• 12:41
  done probably today. Excuse me, Maybe I don't know you feel like doing
• 12:46
  my other day. We'll talk about that off camera, but real talk.
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  Like. One of the things I like about hair is that, for one,
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  especially black hair. Let's let's talk about black hair because period, because
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  period. One thing I love about here is that I have the ability to
• 13:09
  express yourself and it's uniqueness. And I just started my lock journey in February,
• 13:16
  February of twenty twenty three, so I haven't come up on a full
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  year just yet, but I've been you know, natural, I was.
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  I started a natural journey. You know. You remember Mama. Mama challenged
• 13:31
  us to be natural, and she said that you stuck with it. I
• 13:35
  did not. I got a perm twice and I still didn't get my money.
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  She did, she did not pay me me. Know. So the
• 13:41
  story is the story is our mom bet me saying that because she had just
• 13:48
  cut her all her hair all like our grandmother had just passed away. I
• 13:54
  mean we got out the airport. We was like, Mom, what is
• 13:58
  wrong? Like something seriously bald headed? Ball like bald and you got no
• 14:03
  head. But it was like it was like that. So the woman that
• 14:07
  God challenged us before we left Texas, uh to go natural. And that
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  was my interest into freshmen. I was about to you and a freshman.
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  I was entered into tenth grade. You was entered in senior year because me
• 14:22
  and my past in two thousand and that's right, that's right, So full
• 14:26
  year full year. She's like, but you can't go for natural for a
• 14:28
  year. I did the full year. Both of us did it full.
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  Yeah, I will say I didn't make it to the year. But the
• 14:33
  long story short is I never got my money. Yeah. Let's we're going
• 14:41
  back to the You say you love black hair. Yeah, I do love
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  black hair. I was getting back today. But thank you for steering.
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  This is not just asked this kids anyway. So I appreciate black hair.
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  It's just because the expression, like anytime, but you can always tell let
• 15:01
  me, let me say this. You can always tell what a woman is
• 15:05
  going through or something's changing by her hair period like. But the beautiful thing
• 15:09
  is I think I became bolder with my locks. And I tell everybody that
• 15:15
  I became bolder with my level. Everybody that and DESI ray, well you
• 15:18
  can you can talk about this because it's not your first journey, is it.
• 15:22
  It's my third? Third? Me two girl third because first two weren't
• 15:26
  working like they Okay, let's talk about it. First it wasn't working journey.
• 15:33
  I got pregnant with Corey, and when I got when I got pregnant,
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  my hair, my hair falls out. So the first journey my hair
• 15:43
  fell out and I cut it all off, and that's why I got a
• 15:46
  relaxer and then I went back natural. And then the second journey was right
• 15:50
  after that. And then not long after that, I got pretty with my
• 15:52
  son and I was going through my lots. Weren't horrible the second journey because
• 15:58
  you complimented those. Yeah, those, But I couldn't remember what happened.
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  Whatever COVID happened. I was not getting my hair done like I was supposed
• 16:07
  to. Then I went through a depression. Like during COVID. I was
• 16:11
  pregnant, so it was a lot going on, and but by turned down
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  some lunch and I cut my hef on the mirror because she did. I
• 16:17
  cut it all off. I FaceTime my mama had I almost like, don't
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  do it, and I did it. But this one, this journey is
• 16:26
  just different. I'm more, I'm more confident. I'm not gonna say I'm
• 16:30
  going through lists because I mean, I just handled it. I said,
• 16:33
  I think you're managed like emotional intelligence. Period. Emotional intelligence is needed.
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  And when you gain that level a level of intelligence, like you don't allow
• 16:47
  things to bother you. What's the word you used this morning? Peace?
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  Peace, Peace, what does that look like? I think peace with me
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  A lot has to do with my respect months how I responded things that just
• 17:06
  knowing who I am, because you know, I talked about how God led
• 17:11
  me to that verse in Philippians in chapter seven, and you know, like
• 17:18
  Jessica said, and pull it out. We don't bring up scripts. We
• 17:22
  don't do it because I'm not the scripture, because we said we're not them
• 17:26
  passes eight plus bill, See, you ain't got a scripture? What you
• 17:32
  back in the where are the receipts? Okay, let me get you because
• 17:36
  I mine got an upload update. Let me get you. That means you
• 17:38
  ain't look at it today? What talk about? What's the verse? What's
• 17:42
  the chapter? Chapter seven? Chapter seven, verse fourteen? Right? Chapter
• 17:47
  seven? Yeah, it was chapter seven, you said, Philippins philippinsons.
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  Okay, remember I'm in jeried my twenty five because okay, I'm sorry.
• 17:57
  I do not pick up my Bible app every day. I apologize, So
• 18:02
  it's all right, all right, it's a lot of people that don't pick
• 18:06
  up seven. It was chapter four, verse seven because y'all don't don't do
• 18:11
  me because it's only folk Chelpters. I knew that sounding wrong because I was
• 18:15
  like four thirteen. Because you know, everybody looks I can do all things
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  of Christ, who gives me strength. I remember that was and I didn't
• 18:19
  realize that was in the same passage. But okay, just ahead of highlighted
• 18:23
  because we were talking about it. It was talking about it, so uh.
• 18:27
  It brought me to uh chapter again Philippians chapter four, versus four through
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  seven, and it says, always be full of joy in the Lord.
• 18:37
  I say it again. Rejoice. Let everyone see that you are considerate in
• 18:44
  all you do. Remember the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything.
• 18:48
  Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank
• 18:52
  him for all that he has done. Then you will experienced God's peace,
• 18:56
  which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds
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  as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters.
• 19:07
  One final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, what is honorable,
• 19:11
  and what is right, and what is pure and lovely and admirable.
• 19:17
  Think about things that are excellent, excellent, and worthy of praise. Keep
• 19:22
  putting into practice all you have learned and received from me, everything you heard
• 19:29
  from me, and saw me doing, then the God of Peace will be
• 19:34
  with you. That's good. What did that? You gotta break that down
• 19:37
  because that was a line. So just last week, a week before last,
• 19:44
  I was just like you guys, just like your ridy eos. I
• 19:48
  had not looked at my Bible and I have a study Bible I got gifted
• 19:51
  from my last place of work, and I hadn't picked up the physical Bible
• 19:57
  in a minute, and I was just like, I need to see you
• 20:00
  something. So I looked at the contexts in the back and I looked at
• 20:04
  the word piece because that's what one of the auntie Pam had told me.
• 20:07
  She was like, shout out to Anti Pain, shout out to Aunty Pain.
• 20:11
  Hello rabbit. She was like, find your peace or choose your piece.
• 20:18
  He had sent me the text message and that those words came to me
• 20:22
  when I picked up that Bible. And when I got that Bible and I
• 20:26
  it led me to that scripture, I thought about it. I was like,
• 20:27
  I don't have peace because literally I'm trying to find it everywhere, but
• 20:34
  with God, like I'm trying to find it with meditating, I'm trying to
• 20:37
  find it with you know, going for a walk and all of that is
• 20:41
  fine, but where's the direct source? Like where am I going first?
• 20:45
  Like like and as soon as they kind of clicked, it can seem like
• 20:49
  cliche like yeah, your pieces and with God. But until you like understand,
• 20:53
  your life ain't gonna be peaceful until you that's who you go to straight
• 20:57
  straight straight from jump, not going to you know, your man, not
• 21:06
  say go back to that one, not going to your man, your man.
• 21:08
  It's not your piece, your woman's not your piece. God is your
• 21:11
  peace. I'm so tired of seeing that quote that he should be my peep.
• 21:15
  No, God is your peace. And that's the only reason why,
• 21:18
  you know what I'm saying. I felt like I was not realizing that I
• 21:23
  was looking other places for that peace. And not that I'm not upset,
• 21:30
  not that I can't, you know, get sad or angry or whatever.
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  It's just when I need to get to that place and go to go to
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  God. So that just you know, took me to another place to where
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  in the past two weeks my responses have been like, okay, and you
• 21:49
  y'all know God, God be testing you when you when you say God,
• 21:55
  I won't I won't patience man, he gonna listen or listen you're gonna be
• 22:02
  like, well, why I'm being I'm being tentphed. But Negro, you
• 22:04
  just ask God for patience, like literally, like you you just asked God
• 22:08
  for for for increase, so he took away something so you can make room.
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  Like we really be asking God for something and then be mad when he
• 22:18
  takes something away so he can give or he frustrates us in the area,
• 22:22
  like I think that, like be a be careful what you ask for,
• 22:25
  because God was like, watch this. He's not worried about the thing that
• 22:29
  you get. He's worried about the character to maintain the thing that's given.
• 22:33
  Right, and so like money is always an easy, easier to subject.
• 22:37
  And I was talking to myself, I said, Lord, because that's I've
• 22:41
  been transparent with that desert ray and woman to God. God, you know,
• 22:47
  major discipline with finances, like she tell me how, she told me,
• 22:51
  how she break things down for I said, you want to teach me
• 22:52
  this because I'm not I'm not winning in that area. The management part finance,
• 23:00
  Hey, thank you Lord, management, money management, that's a whole
• 23:04
  other level of discipline. And so especially for a giver, somebody just looked
• 23:10
  just love to give, like, oh I was gonna eat with this,
• 23:15
  Yeah, I was gonna buy me some food. But I think you,
• 23:19
  I think you needed more than me, you know, like, and it's
• 23:22
  like, how many times does the Lord really ask you to give? Yeah,
• 23:27
  it's so so bad that coach called out the orphan spirit in me when
• 23:33
  she Yeah, it was a few years ago, she called. She called
• 23:37
  out the orphan spirit in me because and as an orphans because you want to
• 23:41
  belong and you want to feel needed. Because you want to feel needed.
• 23:45
  Think about an orphan. The orphan wants to be picked. The orphan wants
• 23:51
  to be chosen. And I ain't gonna lie. I've been I wanted to
• 23:55
  be picked. I've been wanting to be chosen. That's the probat probably why
• 23:57
  you know a lot of mine relationships haven't worked out because I wanted the relationship
• 24:04
  for okay, okay, but I wanted the Really I wanted the relationship because
• 24:36
  I needed the reward of being chosen, being picked, you know what I'm
• 24:45
  saying. And so back to back to money when we we don't have,
• 24:48
  you know, when we I just forgot what I was doing because now the
• 24:53
  over orphaned spirit feel like I feel like that's just a whole entity within itself.
• 24:59
  So when financial financial, what was I saying before that, Kendle you
• 25:03
  were talking about we were talking about life because ADHD We just ADHD and it
• 25:11
  was it was it was a moment we had. We just had some technical
• 25:15
  diffic y'all. So it don't even matter. We're just gonna call space fade.
• 25:18
  We were just technical difficulty on ourselves. But it's okay. Anyway back
• 25:23
  back to the office, sperit because that's that's I think that's an interesting topic.
• 25:27
  Like what as far as financials, like what what do you see in
• 25:33
  yourself that you have grown and developing? Why did you why didn't you have
• 25:37
  peace? What what interfered with you having peace with people and more most importantly
• 25:45
  with yourself because naturally people pleaser. Now that's uh, that would rob you
• 25:56
  everything. I'm growing growing out of it. But yeah, naturally I am
• 26:00
  a people pleaser. So I think that's what it was like. Again,
• 26:04
  we were looking for piecing other people, and people are always not gonna be
• 26:07
  pleased with me, right, Yeah, Like I'm gonna do things that upset
• 26:11
  people. I'm gonna do things that people don't agree that people disagree with but
• 26:19
  that would drive me crazy when people like I mean to a certain extent,
• 26:25
  like I'm still working on it, but it would drive me crazy to think
• 26:30
  that somebody does not like me, or that somebody you know, it's uncomfortable
• 26:36
  with me, or you know, it's just weird. So I would literally
• 26:40
  do what I have to do to try to make that person happy or make
• 26:44
  that person feel good, or what should I do or change you know,
• 26:47
  almost like not change myself because everybody know kindle is kindled. Yeah you're I'm
• 26:52
  kinder here where I go, but like almost like overcompassing. Like I was
• 26:56
  talking about that today with one of my clients, is like I want people
• 27:02
  to see so like I know my hard is pure, and I know I
• 27:06
  care and I love for people, and a lot of people know that,
• 27:08
  but some people put like walls up right and or they they're going through their
• 27:15
  own trauma or whatever, and I'm trying to do so much to prove to
• 27:21
  them like you're loved and I love you, to the fact that what is
• 27:26
  I'm doing it and it's not genuine anymore. It's just like, Okay,
• 27:30
  they're gonna like me now because I did this and their last friend and do
• 27:33
  this for them. But you know what's interested what you just said, like
• 27:37
  we make things our responsibility that period, like we put stuff on our plate
• 27:42
  that ain't nobody who asked you to do that? Listen and almost goes back
• 27:45
  to the garden evening, like who told you that? Like when God said
• 27:51
  they don't eat, oh, don't eat from this street right the Lord?
• 27:55
  Like this this is what we miss up. We mess up when we're instead
• 28:00
  of pleasing God, we try to please man and pleasing man, because man
• 28:07
  don't even know what they want. You know, like, man, God
• 28:11
  is this is what I said, and this is what he is. He
• 28:15
  ain't saying nothing there, So like what's the word? You know, give
• 28:18
  me the word. You can preach excerment all day, what's the word behind
• 28:22
  it? Please listen, don't give me no fluff if it ain't in the
• 28:25
  word of God, it's not in the word of God. So I was
• 28:27
  just I was just talking about me and parents are just talking about this.
• 28:32
  We're talking about how people get up said or people want to put emotions to
• 28:37
  what the word is or whatnot. And yeah, of course you're getting little
• 28:38
  emotional for you know, but I say emotions are indicators, yes, of
• 28:45
  something needing to change or that God is trying to get your attention on something
• 28:49
  like emotions are good. Yeah, emotions are good things, right, but
• 28:55
  they are indicators, but they're not the end of bey'll right. The word
• 28:57
  is a foundation, right, The word is idiots what it is? Like
• 29:00
  you said, and sometimes we were like, oh no, God didn't feel
• 29:03
  that way. God. God said what he said, and he spoke with
• 29:08
  God spoke for himself. He did. He if y'all can see me in
• 29:12
  the balcony, he did from the balcony. God's God spoke for himself.
• 29:18
  And what we do is expose what he didn't already said. Yes, we're
• 29:25
  just the exposers, right, And I think we get it twisted because we
• 29:26
  try to take basically the responsibilities of things that He's never assigned us to do,
• 29:33
  and that allows us to become broken, that allows us to be traumatized,
• 29:37
  that allows us to just mismanage our time. So now not only are
• 29:45
  we mismanaging our our emotions, we're mismanaging our time because we're putting time and
• 29:51
  effort into something that God never told us to do. And then normally what
• 29:55
  we put our time in our heart is there, so now we mismanage our
• 29:59
  heart. And now they said, where your heart is, the treasures are,
• 30:03
  treasures are too. That's Bible. Which woman, God, can you
• 30:06
  find it? Where your heart is? Your treasure is also I ain't saying
• 30:11
  it right right now, but the woman God's gonna quote me on it.
• 30:14
  But now now you find now you broke all the way around because you've done
• 30:19
  something outside of what God wanted you to do. And at this point,
• 30:25
  like I had to get back to the open orphaned spirit, Kendall, I
• 30:30
  had to get I literally have to ask God, hey, can I help
• 30:36
  this person? It was a season that the Lord was like, oh,
• 30:41
  you gotta why don't you ask me? Because my addiction is also being super
• 30:45
  saving. Oh I think I will cap for everybody. I ain't gonna lie
• 30:49
  sease. You put that cape on and you be flying, You be flying.
• 30:56
  You just ain't gonna do anything or you know, I want to put
• 31:00
  that on you right now because we're like deliver runs. But that's one thing
• 31:07
  you're gonna do, like just to see somebody in needs you be like,
• 31:11
  how can I help? Just straight mama bear, Straight, Mama bear,
• 31:15
  everybody. Mama, I'm not even your mama. Go ahead, go ahead,
• 31:19
  you go ahead. She thought she was. She said, if you
• 31:23
  said it, okay, she's gotten so much better. And we talked about
• 31:26
  it. It's not about me, about you, it's about us. And
• 31:30
  the scripture says Matthew six and twenty one says store, I'm gonna go up
• 31:37
  to twenty store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy,
• 31:41
  and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is there,
• 31:47
  your desires of your heart will be also wherever your treasures is. So whatever
• 31:53
  they your hall, your hall, your heart, your all, your heart,
• 32:02
  so your heart is up enough too. I got the hood version.
• 32:07
  What's the hood version version? Oh okay, Jesus got with the thugs.
• 32:15
  And you hang out with thugs and do not like that now, y'all a
• 32:19
  little scared, But thugs love you. I think people of different backgrounds,
• 32:29
  you know, they they they live the kid. I think I don't different
• 32:34
  people. Yeah, like I would say, like, I don't know,
• 32:37
  I don't know a person that don't like Kndle. I do know people that
• 32:39
  don't like Kindle. Now because Kindle's putting herself first. I do think the
• 32:45
  witch is dead the door open, Yeah, Ding, don't the witch is
• 32:51
  dead. And I said what I said, but I do know that.
• 33:00
  Oh I hate when I do that. I do what was I saying?
• 33:05
  I really like y'all, I don't know what's going on. It's okay.
• 33:07
  I think it's we got together. We got the Kenny brain going because daddy,
• 33:12
  you know. Yeah, so we being Oh my gosh, what was
• 33:15
  the last thing I said before? Ding, don't know? Wish you did?
• 33:16
  We were you were talking about me being a people pleasing, being people
• 33:25
  pleasing and everybody likes me. Yeah that thank you? Everybody like everybody.
• 33:29
  Everybody likes you. And I don't think I think that you've always had like
• 33:38
  a gift of just I don't know, like it's you. People tracked to
• 33:45
  you. You're always confident to me. We found out recently that maybe that's
• 33:52
  I was lying to myself about that. It's interesting that we could be in
• 33:57
  the same household and have to different experiences. Yes, like, let's let's
• 34:04
  let's go ahead and go talk about this. We can definitely talk about it.
• 34:06
  What do you want? What we're gonna start from start? I think
• 34:13
  we need to address the reality of being siblings, seeing each other's greatness and
• 34:22
  being jealous. We said it, it's real jealous jealousy sibling. It's not
• 34:30
  even a rivalry, but a type of jealousy. And there's something else I
• 34:36
  was talking about earlier today, it's a different type of jealousy because I don't
• 34:40
  think I think it's a I think you told me this. It's a difference
• 34:45
  between being envious and a difference between being jealous. I think we talked about
• 34:47
  this before. I don't know, but I think you desiring to want something
• 34:53
  that somebody else has, it's okay, right, that's fine. I think
• 34:59
  that's a that's okay because you know, that's just a natural thing I think
• 35:04
  within us, just being humans. But we're we haven't got to the point
• 35:08
  to where we tried to hinder Like my sister didn't try to stop me from
• 35:12
  getting married. I didn't try to stop her from graduating college like those are
• 35:15
  the sport was. Yeah, we definitely supported each other, but that does
• 35:19
  not mean that we didn't want that for us what you had, I didn't.
• 35:22
  I wanted some of the things that you have and had. I wanted
• 35:25
  for myself and the same with me, right, So I think the conversation
• 35:30
  when we had the conversation about because we got real with y'all people people look
• 35:37
  at us on Instagram, on Facebook or whatever. Oh my gosh, that
• 35:42
  post. There's a post on my TikTok at the Jessica S. Smith.
• 35:46
  Oh, I ain't ashamed at the Smith. Go ahead and here you follow.
• 35:53
  But there was a video that we posted, well, I posted on
• 35:57
  mine, and that was we were dancing or whatever. First of all we
• 36:00
  was we was faly was false, So y'all should go look at it.
• 36:07
  Look at that and went viral a little bit, and I put a voice
• 36:13
  record over it saying, my sister is my best friend. I don't know
• 36:20
  what I would do without her, very quick, straight to the point.
• 36:23
  Didn't know it was gonna reach so many people. Well, it was like
• 36:27
  so many people that was like, oh my gosh, it's so y'all look
• 36:30
  cute, and sister did and y'all love my sister, but baby kid,
• 36:36
  tell them about the other comics. It was like, I hate my sister.
• 36:42
  I wish she was never born. I was like girl DESI rae and
• 36:47
  these are people multiple, these are not just one, you know, you
• 36:52
  always one kill the one lady was like she wished that her mother would have
• 36:58
  never really, yes, I was so hurtful to scene if flabbergast is the
• 37:07
  work here, it's like me and Kim like, baby, let's talk about
• 37:10
  it. Yeah, we got suspeded. What no, no, no,
• 37:20
  no no, let me tell you about to tell the story, true story,
• 37:24
  and I'm gonna tell it. I'm gonna move my mic I'm gonna tell
• 37:28
  it because okay, my sister again, we were just talking about it.
• 37:31
  She's very protective. She's very in your face about the protection too. It's
• 37:37
  not you know what I'm saying. So during a time when you're already upset
• 37:42
  and Jusica brings her aggression, it was not aggression, it was covering perspective,
• 37:46
  her covering. She said she was covering me. I saw she was
• 37:52
  being aggressive, but what you see that as now covering. But you you
• 37:57
  have definitely toned it down because I was I'm telling this school and Jesus has
• 38:01
  brought her modern. Are you a younger sister too, so yes, so
• 38:10
  I'm only in the youngest. I got you. Yeah, we got it.
• 38:15
  Okay, we understand, we got the only one we're the only ones
• 38:20
  to share the mom and daddy. So I think that's another reason why we
• 38:22
  so close, because you know, we kind of kind of have the same
• 38:24
  upbringing. But what were you talking about again? You were talking about so
• 38:31
  so again, like just talking about that. My sister is my best friend,
• 38:35
  like period, I love her, but we've gotten to a lot of
• 38:38
  scuffles over the years and so much so. We went to a private school
• 38:43
  and during this little just a little bold school, and just was the senior.
• 38:46
  I was a sophomore and I was dating this guy. And I don't
• 38:51
  know, did you see a kids or was at that time you saw us
• 38:53
  kids or something happened. Something happened. I think that was the time we
• 38:58
  saw kids because I was finna. I was finna go off on him too.
• 39:00
  Yeah, just very upset. It might have I feel like it was
• 39:04
  something different, but but yeah, so Jessica was very upset, very protective,
• 39:07
  like why are you kissing this boy because we're at a private school,
• 39:12
  y'all. We are at a private school. They suspend you from breathing home,
• 39:15
  yes, they be at that time. Now though, she's gonna do
• 39:16
  whatever you want to. It was literally, y'all, let me tell you.
• 39:19
  It was like like it was and I see it, Justica sees it,
• 39:23
  and Jessica does not like seeing any type of pd A. For me,
• 39:30
  it's from her skin. You can see her body just gets so uncomfortable.
• 39:35
  My god, my god. So anyways, I think she sees this
• 39:38
  pick right boom, and she goes and she like, I go into the
• 39:43
  bathroom and I'm pink, excuse me, I'm using the bathroom. And I
• 39:49
  come out and just was like talking to me as going to the bathroom and
• 39:51
  I come out and I'm like kind of ignoring her. But I was just
• 39:53
  like whatever, and just was like being mama or whatever. So I'm like,
• 40:00
  you don't tell me what to do. Whatever, just get in my
• 40:02
  face and not get in her face. I don't know, I honestly do
• 40:05
  not say. We don't know who first it was. I think it was
• 40:08
  some type of push, yes, and it was a push somebody and somebody.
• 40:14
  Baby we got there in the bathroom. Okay. Boys had to come
• 40:19
  in the bathroom to stop. It was so ugly it was, and we
• 40:24
  got suspended. Now what sense does it make when you get suspended? You
• 40:30
  know you have to go home. You sent me home with the person our
• 40:32
  fault, yes, and we were in the bathroom. What is make we
• 40:36
  did not learn our lesson because we're gonna fight again. We didn't know they
• 40:40
  was very upset and disappointed because he thought we jumped on somebody else. So
• 40:44
  they call they just got to fight. It was like he was like,
• 40:47
  okay, did they fight like each other? And it's our senior year.
• 40:51
  Just has never been suspended. That was the only time I haven't. I
• 40:53
  can't say that for myself, but I was the reason why I Jessica got
• 40:58
  her one and only suspension from school. I did end school suspension, but
• 41:01
  I never got suspended, and that was probably somebody else's fault too, just
• 41:05
  because very goodie like go by the books. I was like, let's risk
• 41:08
  it a little bit, let's push it. Let's push it. I always
• 41:12
  but with that being said, we've always come back together. I've always felt
• 41:17
  love from her, even though it could be the covering was a little too
• 41:22
  warm. I had to learn how to let him to make mistakes. The
• 41:28
  part I had to I had to learn. I think I was so fearful
• 41:32
  of losing well, I ain't never said it, don't cry. I think
• 41:40
  I was fearful of losing the approval of my dad. Wow, I was
• 41:49
  afraid of losing the approval of daddy, and I did not want to put
• 41:53
  in a position of disappointment and more stress, I felt like that was my
• 42:00
  position. So I didn't do it because I wanted to be good. I
• 42:05
  did it because there was a people please people pleasing. So now I didn't
• 42:08
  I never I never thought about that. I wasn't good for myself. I
• 42:13
  was good so I wouldn't be a burden on my dad. Wow. And
• 42:16
  I was like bumper once. But like people really like even with that,
• 42:23
  like you said, we always came together. We always come together. And
• 42:27
  we found out that people really don't like their siblings. Yeah, that's what
• 42:30
  we were close to. Like people we saw like we like, they admire
• 42:37
  our relationship. But back now, you know, it's interesting. So I'm
• 42:42
  still with my friend and she has twin girls and they'll be ten on the
• 42:45
  eighteenth of this month. So they went to church with me last week.
• 42:49
  Last week they went to church and on the way to church, I had
• 42:52
  called my sister on I facetimed her, but I forgot that in my vehicle.
• 42:54
  It don't allow my video to show on my end so I could see
• 42:58
  her and were talking and we laughing because we just we just be kicking how
• 43:00
  hi And I got the phone with her and they're in the back seat.
• 43:04
  It was like here was that. I was like, that's my sister.
• 43:07
  That was like, oh, can we be like that? And I was
• 43:10
  like, y'all live together like your sisters even though y'all y'all Sha has the
• 43:15
  same wound, Like what do you mean can you not be like that?
• 43:17
  Like yes, absolutely, like talk ha ha. And it was just like
• 43:22
  okay, but I just thought that was very interesting, Like they said,
• 43:24
  can we be like that? So as your guys are talking about these comments
• 43:28
  that people have made publicly about their siblings, I'm just like, I just
• 43:31
  don't understand. I guess listen, let me we see we made. One
• 43:36
  thing we did is that we made a commitment to each other and were thinking
• 43:39
  by that commitment that even some of the family members very and we ain't gonna
• 43:44
  call them now very close family members that have struggled with their sibling relationship.
• 43:52
  They've struggled with the sibling relationship, not really getting to know each other,
• 43:55
  using each other, you know, like no, I won't say no love
• 44:00
  you love to a certain degree. Like when I say my sister is my
• 44:04
  best friend, she gets on my last nerve sometimes because now she's now she's
• 44:07
  doing me on me sometimes you know what I'm saying, Like now she putting
• 44:10
  me in chess grow right, it's growth right. So she she has she's
• 44:14
  wise. I call her and be like I don't know about this, and
• 44:16
  I think like this, I shouldn't do this, and da da, like
• 44:19
  that's relationship. If we have a relationship. Now, don't look at Kendall
• 44:22
  as my little sister anymore. Like I don't have wrong girl, shiite girl,
• 44:29
  honored girl ship. I can't because my sister didn't. For one,
• 44:32
  Let's talk about it. Kenda, you and boss the on all aspects like
• 44:38
  you you are a great woman, and in being a great woman, you
• 44:46
  make every other like all the arms are everything that you carry look effortless.
• 44:53
  Wow. And so it's anything that you do or any title that you get
• 44:59
  or any responsible do you have, it's gonna be It's gonna literally be great
• 45:02
  just because you're a great woman. That's beautiful. Affirmations are my number one
• 45:07
  love language words And that was beautiful. That just feel I just felt my
• 45:13
  heart feeling up. Girl, you're just trying to fight them to you.
• 45:15
  If y'all want to zoom me in on YouTube, y'all can see her trying
• 45:19
  to you. Is that is it easy? Is it easy for you to
• 45:23
  hear? It's that affirmations? Actually, even though words of affirmations is my
• 45:29
  number one love language, is weird. Uh, it's hard for me to
• 45:31
  receive what people seeing me because I think it's that little girl in me that
• 45:37
  was not affirmed a lot that was like or that what you're trying to get
• 45:43
  from me? Like that part? What you are you just saying it is
• 45:46
  so do you need your hair done? Because you know she's just asked me
• 45:50
  to get just like Joe and I. And then it's also staying in that
• 45:57
  place, right, So everybody's talking about how and I've been getting a lot
• 46:02
  about some people proud of me, and like, it's days where I don't
• 46:07
  want to do it. It's days why I don't want to show up.
• 46:09
  If y'all see me and you follow my social media, I'm not consistent cause
• 46:13
  it's days where I'm just like everybody sees me, everybody's watching me, everybody's
• 46:20
  expecting to me to be this person everybody and it's hard, it really is.
• 46:24
  So I love receiving it and it's parts of me like believing and in
• 46:29
  other parts of me like I can't be like that all the time. I
• 46:30
  feel impost imposter syndrome. It's real. So who, so who is Kendall?
• 46:38
  Like why Kendall can't show up? Like I mean, Kendall is,
• 46:42
  like I said, the person that I am. I deal with a anxiety
• 46:47
  a lot, and that sometimes can overpower me being my authentic self all the
• 46:59
  time. Because let me just talk about everybody can't handle Kiindle right or you
• 47:04
  know, or they can say dang. You know, I have been in
• 47:07
  rooms with like everybody like kimdle Oh, So I didn't I was like that,
• 47:12
  Yeah I was. First. I was I was mad that everybody liked
• 47:15
  you because I feel like everybody didn't like me right, And that's definitely wasn't
• 47:17
  the case. But like I did my light a lot to let people like
• 47:22
  I've done it be before and I've worked with people, I've did my life
• 47:28
  and I'm not trying to, you know, not be kindled. It's just
• 47:31
  like I want people to see because I see the good and everybody literally y'all,
• 47:37
  oh, it's it's horrible. Like people can literally put me in the
• 47:39
  dirt and I'll be like, but they do have this good quality trade like
• 47:44
  that's me. So I'll be like, Okay, I want the world to
• 47:46
  see that my sister got the best, biggest heart. I want them to
• 47:50
  see that she'll pop off if she need to. I want them to see
• 47:52
  that she is very and I hate I hate to say regress because people think
• 47:57
  aggressive is like bad. It's not a She's just like, say what it
• 48:01
  is. This is what it is. And I'm just like, you know,
• 48:05
  like I like the sugar up a little bit. But it's so funny
• 48:08
  because that's me. Really, look my sister. Look. So my sister
• 48:13
  has a sister on her mama side, and her sister was older, right,
• 48:16
  but she was fighting with her sister like big girls because she's gonna jump
• 48:21
  in and she's gonna pop up like no. But I'm the one that's like,
• 48:24
  can y'all just get this me? I need equal But it's it's hard,
• 48:31
  and I do have imposter syndrome a lot sometimes, especially like y'all going
• 48:36
  viral like that is the scariest. People want to do that. I don't
• 48:38
  understand. But staying on top of that and then you you got a million
• 48:44
  views on one and then you got three hundred on the there. What does
• 48:46
  that do to your mind? Like, how do you go? Like it's
• 48:51
  like you eating It's like you eat habaichi, you know, every day,
• 48:54
  and then you go from dang, I gotta get this MacDonald's like, being
• 48:59
  a creative in general is stressful because you it's so power. I was listening
• 49:05
  to somebody. I forgot who this was. Who this was? I think
• 49:09
  it was CJ and them CJ, Dave and Carl. I did the call
• 49:15
  and somebody said, I can't I think it's CJ. I think it was
• 49:19
  CJ. He was basically like as a creative, he said, you don't
• 49:22
  get nothing else to create until you push out the thing that you're supposed to
• 49:27
  create. He says, God is so he said, God is so big
• 49:30
  that it's more things to create. But you haven't done the first thing that
• 49:34
  you're supposed to do. And a lot of us get fearful because we think
• 49:37
  that God won't give us a new thing to create, or people don't want
• 49:42
  what we have, what that one we have, like the stupid stuff you
• 49:46
  see on TikTok, like the people biting into apples and getting all these and
• 49:53
  what's the new thing that you got it? You got it, you got
• 49:59
  it, you got it, you got it, you got it? Why
• 50:02
  this? I like? And people are making money off your and stupid stuff
• 50:08
  like that. And so when we even with me and I think I think
• 50:14
  you'll know, I look at you and I'm like, oh, well,
• 50:15
  everybody want to want to get their hair done or whatever. But everybody,
• 50:20
  you know, everybody's a motivational speaker. Everybody like that's all I got is
• 50:22
  my voice as far as to show people all on social media right now,
• 50:28
  you know what I'm saying, Like, I have my voice, that's it.
• 50:30
  But some people like it, some people don't. I have to get
• 50:32
  to a point. I'm just now getting to a point where I'm like,
• 50:35
  it is what it is. You either hear it or you don't. I
• 50:37
  do mental mondays, I do this, I do the podcast. I appreciate
• 50:42
  you before I did. Let me can I can I do it? Can
• 50:46
  we do a just confession? Yes, okay, I'm not gonna look at
• 50:50
  you want to say, Okay, I'm gonna look away. So I so
• 50:52
  there's a Ray I'm gonna talk to you. So let me tell you this
• 50:54
  story. Girl. So start time. So t tok I did you know?
• 51:00
  I was genuinely just doing the T top thing and one of my videos
• 51:06
  had went viral a little bit, and so Ken was like, oh my
• 51:08
  gosh, you should do it again, and da da da da, and
• 51:12
  so I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do it again. And one
• 51:14
  of my viral, like one of my videos and specific specifically went viral talking
• 51:20
  about tashakws filled me up song, and that thing went viral. You know,
• 51:24
  I got a couple of them, like over one hundred k, and
• 51:28
  it's like it stopped. Like I got probably like right under wait, probably
• 51:34
  like seventy five a little bit over seventy five hundred, uh follows. So
• 51:39
  Kendall gets on hers. Now listen, I had been on it. Let's
• 51:45
  not say it was just like the first video I I had been on.
• 51:50
  Let's let's let's just say this said. You know, okay, keep you
• 51:52
  out of cloak mm hm, cause you know I'm talking Desi rad O talking
• 51:55
  to me, I'm talking Ray. This girl start like going live and doing
• 52:02
  some certain stuff and get shit like quote me if I'm wrong. We think
• 52:07
  she got like over twenty thousand followers. It made me a little It made
• 52:12
  me feel some type of way because I was like, what's the point.
• 52:15
  I was like, maybe I'm a one hit to quill the type of thing
• 52:19
  person. Maybe I'm maybe what I have they really good. And then it
• 52:22
  was like, no, all helpful. You just ain't been in consistent,
• 52:27
  and I'll tell you this. I think you are correct. I wanted thirty
• 52:32
  thousand followers by the time I turned thirty, which is October twenty second,
• 52:38
  but I hadn't been getting all live. It's very draining getting a live talking
• 52:45
  to people, all of that because I actually talk to people, and I
• 52:47
  think that's why people like my lives. But anyway, let's rewind again.
• 52:52
  She went viral first. I was posting all that and I almost just gave
• 52:54
  up on TikTok and literally just posted a video and it with viral, and
• 53:00
  I was very overwhelmed. It was not playing, and I've gotten a couple
• 53:06
  more videos than done well with numbers. But I was inspired by my sister.
• 53:14
  So she's saying that, but I was all inspired by her, like
• 53:16
  seeing that she was being able to be herself and went viral. I was
• 53:22
  worried about what if somebody, you know, this angle is not right?
• 53:24
  Da da da da. I got on there and like my Auntie said,
• 53:28
  Kendall, you just be saying whatever you want. I do like people love,
• 53:30
  especially on TikTok, people love genuine people. So I get on there
• 53:36
  and but I was really like, Okay, go ahead. But I was
• 53:42
  really like I was. I was I feel some type of way. I
• 53:46
  wouldn't go back again. I wasn't mad. I was supportive. I was
• 53:50
  like, oh my gosh, like that's one of the things I use.
• 53:52
  I'm like my sister is she is? She promotes you. She got over
• 53:54
  twenty thousand dollars on tits up. They know, like you only get stopped
• 53:58
  at the store. It's like a couple. Are you are you that?
• 54:00
  Are you that killing dread lady like? And Kenda's not the Kenda's like like
• 54:05
  she said, she her struggle with anxiety is real. Do not talk to
• 54:09
  me. I'm a little baby. Keep lee. Don't say nothing to me.
• 54:15
  And those were the people that go like viral And so why are numbers
• 54:22
  important? Well, numbers are important because this is a business side. They
• 54:28
  reflect your performance. That's the business side, but numbers also for an emotional
• 54:35
  side, give you. I won't even call it affirmation, but it gives
• 54:43
  you the check mark. Like, okay, people like me, like we
• 54:45
  say people, they people like what I'm doing. I might be doing something
• 54:50
  good. That's almost an orphan spirit thing, like I'm accepted. That's the
• 54:57
  best probably word. I'm accepted. And so just just looking at okay,
• 55:02
  I think it also that part triggered me because I did, like even growing
• 55:07
  up, Kendall was the popular one. I wasn't. I was. Kunda
• 55:14
  was popular with peers. I was popular with leadership. I'm gonna say that
• 55:19
  again because I want you to pay attention to something. Kendall was popular with
• 55:22
  peers, I was popular with leadership. So people that gravitated to me were
• 55:30
  older, mature. I was on the leadership team, I was leadership development.
• 55:35
  People just gravitating to me. Coaches wanted me part of their team,
• 55:40
  my principal who's also still my mentor. Well, I can even call them
• 55:45
  friends shout out to Ben Shaka. Gravitate like we I do relationships like in
• 55:52
  real real life. Kendall, on the other hand, everybody know her everybody
• 55:55
  want to be around her. When she say jump, they saying, how
• 56:00
  that's the type of thing that I experienced. I desired to be liked by
• 56:05
  my peers. Peers, I really did. I still do, you know
• 56:07
  what I'm saying. But I've learned to be okay with being liked by leadership.
• 56:14
  Now it makes sense why leaders were attracted to me because I am for
• 56:17
  when I am a leader, I am a leader. Some people just didn't
• 56:22
  like that or whatever, But I am a leader. I've been I was
• 56:25
  born a leader. It says, when I formed you in your mother's womb,
• 56:30
  I knew you. He knew me to be a leader. And when
• 56:31
  we really think about our lives and we go down in our childhood, who
• 56:37
  was God exposing you to that you are now? And we'll settle in the
• 56:43
  fact and get over the fact that certain peer groups are certain people didn't like
• 56:47
  us. It's because it wasn't meant for them to and I had like when
• 56:52
  I had that revelation, and even thinking about it now, the peer group
• 56:58
  if you really pay attention to Kendall's clientele, like I'm not saying these folks
• 57:02
  are not leaders. Because she she deal with some bosses like she deals.
• 57:07
  It's a consistency there though, there's a consistent there's something that they're dealing with,
• 57:13
  there's something that speak about them, there's something. So there's something so
• 57:17
  God really nurtured her as a child, nurtured her in her adolescence to be
• 57:22
  able to be grace, to manage people with different issues. Yes, so
• 57:30
  now I'm jealous of a gift that God has given her because I don't understand
• 57:34
  my gift. I'm being attracted by leaders, attracted to leaders because of the
• 57:39
  call on my life it's to lead, and the call on her life it's
• 57:45
  to serve a community of people who've been rejected, who've been lied on,
• 57:52
  who who just experienced some crazy type of things like if y'all really I get
• 57:59
  I get a opportunity to, you know, do life with killdles, and
• 58:01
  I get to see the type of people that she's around. And like,
• 58:06
  one thing I love that you say, tell them, tell them why what
• 58:08
  you what you start doing As far as with your clients, she said something
• 58:13
  about your hands or the head or well, I don't know, I don't
• 58:19
  know if you say I literally tell people I've created an atmosphere and my my
• 58:29
  space to where when you're literally in my chair, I'm touching your head.
• 58:34
  Right, So if I'm off, or if I'm mean, or if I'm
• 58:37
  screaming, I'm yelling and I'm putting it on you or whatever, that's transferring
• 58:43
  that energy onto you, right, So who are you to believe or trust
• 58:46
  me? And I'm touching your head. That's literally the top that that's what
• 58:51
  your brain is, what you think, that's what people see first. So
• 58:55
  I I hold it like to a very high standard to make my environment very
• 59:07
  peaceful and very accepting. And that's when people get in my chair, y'all.
• 59:10
  And you know what it is. We are therapists, man, and
• 59:15
  it's like whoa, Well, when just gonna be saying decompressed, I'd be
• 59:20
  like, I understand their word a lot now because I'd be having to sit
• 59:23
  down and decompressed because people will low all their stuff. And it's not saying
• 59:30
  it's a bad thing, but you literally when they sit in a chair.
• 59:34
  And if you get that, if you if somebody feels that comfortable around you
• 59:38
  to tell maam, I just met you and you're telling me all your business.
• 59:45
  I'm like, wow, So thank you for saying that. Because I
• 59:51
  just I never put two and two together because I tell people all the time
• 59:54
  like I'm not that and just gonna says it all the time, just like
• 1:00:00
  when when I'm bringing or showing you Jesus is literally meek Jesus, Jessica is
• 1:00:06
  I can't I can't say which decipher I am, but I always say,
• 1:00:08
  Justica, it's Peter. Everybody know you get this Jesus like period, she
• 1:00:15
  love you. You're gonna get this Jesus and ain't gonna talk about the Lord.
• 1:00:20
  I'm gonna invite you to church and she will anywhere. I just know.
• 1:00:23
  I was getting ready for my photo shoot today and I heard what church
• 1:00:27
  do you go to? That's Jessica, I'm not the photographer, and he
• 1:00:32
  told me he won't remember. No worry, but it's okay, And that's
• 1:00:36
  that's just not me. But I'm a person that can see in a room,
• 1:00:39
  like I tell you people, I have Muslim clients. I have clients
• 1:00:43
  who are non believers. I have clients who are part of the l g
• 1:00:46
  P B T qu I a elemental p they part of it. And I
• 1:00:52
  hear a lot and I see a lot and it teaches me and It's funny,
• 1:00:55
  y'all. It just teaches me not to be so judgmental. Understand where
• 1:01:01
  people come from. I'm also that's where my love for people come from.
• 1:01:06
  And seeing like they not just angry or they not just making these decisions,
• 1:01:09
  like it's a reason why they're making these decisions. So I'm very accepting of
• 1:01:14
  people. You don't, now, I'll tell this to people. You don't
• 1:01:19
  have to agree with people to accept Yeah. Yeah, love, I think
• 1:01:22
  that part is we a lot of believers. I'm gonna say this because I
• 1:01:28
  just learned this from myself. A lot of believers think that loving someone is
• 1:01:36
  agreeing with their lifestyle, specifically the LGBTQ community. I think it's another letter
• 1:01:45
  I'm missing. I a plus. I think that's something about the plus.
• 1:01:47
  Yeah. I had a conversation with one of my cousins that's in that community.
• 1:01:58
  Well, I would say our because and the conversation went so well that
• 1:02:06
  it changed my heart posture. It changed my heart posture. We as believers
• 1:02:15
  are called to be uncomfortable. What do I mean by that? Comfort stretches
• 1:02:22
  you. Being uncomfortable stretches you like you think about trials and tribulations or whatever.
• 1:02:30
  We try to take it to the extreme. But trial and tribulations or
• 1:02:35
  being uncomfortable and being stretched could look like a conversation, and some of us
• 1:02:39
  are unwilling to just have a conversation. And I read this book for class.
• 1:02:47
  It's called Gracism. I can't think of the man's name. It's called
• 1:02:51
  graceism, all right, and basically talking about we started talking about talking about
• 1:02:55
  racism, but if you put G in front of it, which stands for
• 1:02:59
  God, it's called graceism, right, beautiful book. I recommend it to
• 1:03:02
  anybody. Will put the link on on there. But I had to read
• 1:03:08
  that for school, and then following up with that project and asking her,
• 1:03:15
  you know, about her belief in God, and I mean, oh,
• 1:03:17
  that was so despected, asking him about his belief in God. I I
• 1:03:27
  had to identify my fault as a believer because it wasn't that I didn't love
• 1:03:34
  him. It was that, Hey, I'm not gonna put myself in a
• 1:03:37
  position to show you that how love is what love does? Ain't that a
• 1:03:43
  far As Gump said? Love is what love does? How do I expose
• 1:03:50
  my doing? If I'm always hiding from being visible enough for you? I
• 1:03:57
  just need the people to rewind it. We're gonna We're gonna pause there,
• 1:04:00
  We're gonna rewind the folks that be busting the church wide open. That's that's
• 1:04:05
  for them right there. Like, if I'm not visible for you to see,
• 1:04:10
  my love doesn't count. And so having a conversation with him and respecting
• 1:04:17
  where he is does not devalue my belief. It doesn't. It does not
• 1:04:24
  put me down. And so it's not the cooties. It is not the
• 1:04:30
  like these folks is not saying, oh, I want to give you the
• 1:04:32
  cooties. I'm a like. So literally I had to. I repent it
• 1:04:40
  not for my my belief, but for my inability to be strong enough to
• 1:04:48
  stretch so much that I can do relationship with somebody that doesn't look like like
• 1:04:54
  me, that doesn't It's easy like it was, It's easy for me.
• 1:04:58
  Let's talk the space to Spade. I can go talk to a white person.
• 1:05:00
  I can go talk to baby. I talked. I can have a
• 1:05:03
  great dialogue. I'm like sweet oh Mina Alabama roll tied. I can do
• 1:05:10
  all that, you know what I'm saying, because I can find a common
• 1:05:13
  denominator. But what's my comba denominator with somebody that has a difference a sexual
• 1:05:17
  preference outside of a heaterosexual. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like,
• 1:05:21
  so, am I really a believer? Do I really trust God enough
• 1:05:28
  to give me the words in a conversation? Do I do I have the
• 1:05:31
  ability and the gift to listen? Because some people we just be talking.
• 1:05:36
  We just kindle. That's all you hear when we just be talking. Yeah,
• 1:05:44
  we don't make groom to listen like those are the we make kindle when
• 1:05:49
  we're talking about the other day. It's just a simple thing. It's the
• 1:05:51
  little Yeah, India, I read has a song on there. Y'all should
• 1:05:55
  go listen to it. I will tell you just could just be acting like,
• 1:05:58
  y'all, I'm a really can saning you do not. I be trying
• 1:06:00
  to tell her the same, and she just sees, that's not my ministry
• 1:06:03
  anymore. I won't say that's not my ministry more. But right now it's
• 1:06:06
  definitely not my ministry because the girl is hoarse, but she really can say
• 1:06:13
  it irritates my soul. But anyway, keep going. We talk about the
• 1:06:18
  little things and how the little things matter, and we we think that to
• 1:06:29
  show someone that you love them is to agree with them. No, that's
• 1:06:35
  where rebuke comes. That's where. But but come good. It tastes good.
• 1:06:43
  I can't. I can't stand nobody to talk about they finna rebuke somebody
• 1:06:48
  and you have no relationship. Oh oh did you hear you rebuking with no
• 1:06:56
  relationship? Relationship? I think? And then I was talking about that woods.
• 1:07:03
  Oh ah, we we like past, we love well he is.
• 1:07:11
  Let's get the man name right. Fire when I say fun, boom boom,
• 1:07:21
  don't. Yeah, that's an eight h h make a song. Listen
• 1:07:41
  about everything. I will pop a song out of nowhere. We did it
• 1:07:45
  earlier. Anyway, he said that. He said that, how you're gonna
• 1:07:49
  rebuse somebody and you got a relationship, you don't need to love him.
• 1:07:54
  That's not rebuked. That's judgment. Oh pause, that's not rebuke. That's
• 1:08:00
  judgment because for relations for rebuke to happen, relationship has to be there.
• 1:08:08
  Why because for one, you have to know me well enough to know what
• 1:08:15
  I'm doing wrong and why it is happening. Because now the rebuke comes with
• 1:08:19
  strategy. Oh my god, y'all, this is so good. Rebuke needs
• 1:08:27
  to come with strategy. If you just rebuken just to rebuke, and you
• 1:08:32
  have no strategy and no relationship. Baby, get out my face, because
• 1:08:39
  now you don't know, you just see a thing as a thing. My
• 1:08:43
  goodness, this is why we keep dealing with broken people. Recycled brokenness.
• 1:08:50
  Don't hate that might come back aund recycled brokenness, y'all, And there's no
• 1:08:57
  healing that happens because we're just thinking because we got titles, because we think
• 1:09:00
  we right, were righteous. We think we're talking about that at church.
• 1:09:04
  Hey, you guys, I'm not. This is a shameless plug. And
• 1:09:08
  while Birmingham we have eighteen hundred John Rogers Drive, we have service every Sunday,
• 1:09:13
  one o'clock PM. That's Birmingham, Alabama. For you. Got Pastor
• 1:09:17
  Gino and Pastor Kareem Gardner, I love them. Pastor PG for short.
• 1:09:24
  He was just talking about we did a series on church crowd, Sunday Crowd,
• 1:09:30
  and basically we're talking about the religious spirit, like the religious spirit.
• 1:09:36
  We were so holding it and down. You know what restoration taught me what
• 1:09:42
  relationship over religion? Relationship because what is relationship religion is literally you being a
• 1:09:48
  robot and God did not create us to be robots. That's so good.
• 1:09:53
  He did not create us to be robots. He literally gave us free will.
• 1:09:57
  He literally said, I what you're gonna do. You're gonna choose me
• 1:10:01
  or not. You want to like me or not? You want to love
• 1:10:05
  me or no or no or or I got everything? Do you want it
• 1:10:11
  or not? Like? And listen. And that's what I'm just so glad
• 1:10:16
  you touched on it. It is so so good. I see why the
• 1:10:19
  podcasts supposed to be talking like it's just like you just keep going. You
• 1:10:24
  know what I'm saying, but be good. It's so good. It'd be
• 1:10:28
  so good. I get it. But that's the reason why. And I
• 1:10:31
  didn't realize that. My sister always tell me what I do is ministry.
• 1:10:34
  It's the literal ministry. And I'm like, whoa. And the people you
• 1:10:40
  touch you don't realize, Like, yeah, I get so full thinking like
• 1:10:46
  I think, like you said, the little things, you don't know what
• 1:10:48
  that little thing has done to create a growth in that person. Right,
• 1:10:56
  I have a client who's the part of again, part of it, h
• 1:11:00
  LGBTQ, I A plus community. I did it right, I did.
• 1:11:02
  They're good. Y'all want to tell y'all debates. Me and him, we
• 1:11:06
  be having debates and he is hilarious. I love and literally one of my
• 1:11:11
  favorite clients. But what he told me about a month or so ago,
• 1:11:15
  because of some of the things I was going through and all that, he
• 1:11:17
  said, Kendall, y'all, you know, I ain't religious, but I
• 1:11:21
  see God in you. WHOA And I said what? And he said,
• 1:11:30
  it's just how I respond to things. How he saw me respond how you
• 1:11:34
  see, like a lot of people would pop off in certain situations that I've
• 1:11:38
  been in. A lot of people would gossip in certain situations I've been in.
• 1:11:42
  A lot of people would make somebody else look bad in situations I've been
• 1:11:45
  in. But he saw that I responded differently. I still saw the good
• 1:11:50
  and the same person who decided to make me look bad, I still decided
• 1:11:57
  to uplift their person in some way shape for I still decided to support that
• 1:12:02
  person. And he was just like, ain't no way. But when he
• 1:12:05
  told me that, and you know, like I said, we kick in
• 1:12:08
  ka ka. I took it and I was like wow wow. He remained,
• 1:12:15
  you remained, let's get a shirt like I remain like I think that's
• 1:12:20
  the hardest part about being a believer is that you have you have to stand
• 1:12:25
  out so well, this goes back to being uncomfortable that you stand out to
• 1:12:30
  people that you don't know really paying attention to you, You really thinking that
• 1:12:34
  you're not doing a lot, but you I just I think I just posted
• 1:12:39
  something about this about how your response spunts really exposes your your emotional intelligence.
• 1:12:47
  Yeah, and a lot of times we expore we we become wrapped up.
• 1:12:55
  We really become wrapped up in how we feel, versus l allowing, like
• 1:13:02
  I said earlier, allowing that to be the indicator to the root of the
• 1:13:05
  issue so that we can respond in an intelligent way that God is not just
• 1:13:11
  saying, oh, you're you're mad. You're you're mad. Okay, why
• 1:13:15
  are you mad? Let's get to the route so now we can deal with
• 1:13:18
  that and then I can get you to respond the way I need you to
• 1:13:21
  respond. But we're so self centered and self self I don't even call it
• 1:13:29
  self aware. I think it's self centered is the best. Yeah, self
• 1:13:32
  center is the best. Sometimes we can just be so self centered that we
• 1:13:36
  miss we miss e people's need for us to be well. Listen, I
• 1:13:44
  just thought about something girl talking about our fights or whatever, one of the
• 1:13:47
  last fights. You though. Sometimes y'all, y'all know, they say when
• 1:13:49
  you mad, you upset, you say something and it might be mean.
• 1:13:54
  But I don't think were you mad, Like, let's go back. I
• 1:13:57
  don't think we you mad. You might say something to just try to hurt
• 1:13:59
  people. But lot of times when you made, you say something that's true
• 1:14:02
  and it might be hurtful, you couldn't said it in a different way.
• 1:14:04
  And one thing Jessica said in our last one of our last arguments, Oh,
• 1:14:09
  hold on, I'm putting you on I'm putting you on blast right now.
• 1:14:13
  You look concerned, Jessica, And it's okay because you know what I'm
• 1:14:16
  saying. She she she she helped me, and I was angry at what
• 1:14:21
  she said, but I also saw truth in it. Jessica told me I
• 1:14:28
  was a woe is me? Person? Did I say that? She said
• 1:14:30
  it? And I was like, hold up, I don't remember that.
• 1:14:35
  He was angry. Can you can you which argument with this? Your house?
• 1:14:41
  Which house? The house? I got? No? Yeah, no,
• 1:14:44
  Now Jessica said, it's always woe is you? Woe was you?
• 1:14:47
  Always? What was you? It's always about I was like, I know
• 1:14:51
  that health didn't and whole time, it took me a year to process it,
• 1:14:56
  a whole year, And I thought about every argument I've had with a
• 1:15:00
  person or every conflict I've had a person, and I was literally a woe
• 1:15:04
  is Me person, literally a woe is me person. So when she talked
• 1:15:10
  about emotional intelligence, that that part was me dissecting what she said and not
• 1:15:19
  just being angry and holding it against what she said about it, but doing
• 1:15:23
  something about it. Right, that's so good. So I try when somebody
• 1:15:28
  upsets me or somebody does something to hurt me, I try to not put
• 1:15:39
  a burden on myself, like I act like this because somebody do you to
• 1:15:44
  me? And my daddy didn't say you love me, didn't much, and
• 1:15:47
  my sister was overbearing it. Don't nobody want to hear that. So we
• 1:15:56
  do have to watch how we say it to people. But when people say
• 1:15:58
  some things to us, dissect it and see, Okay, is it true?
• 1:16:03
  Is this true? I've heard this before. I might have heard in
• 1:16:08
  different words, but I've heard this before. How can I change from being
• 1:16:13
  a woo is Me person? I don't want to be a woo with me,
• 1:16:16
  you know, so thank you for that shouting. No, I don't
• 1:16:21
  remember that, and you're probably talking about the argumenting mama, yeah, Solim
• 1:16:28
  so yeah, because when I get mad, y'all, And that's why I
• 1:16:30
  try not to get upset. I really try my best not to get upset
• 1:16:34
  because I have no filter, zero, I have no filter. So when
• 1:16:42
  people are like, oh, you're angry, or like folks say word like
• 1:16:45
  they being on my nerves lately, like oh, I won't say folks because
• 1:16:47
  I got some people that really rock with me in my job. But people
• 1:16:50
  that just don't know how to manage the passion that I have and that are
• 1:16:55
  confused with themselves decide that they want to be mad at me because I'm the
• 1:16:58
  rict or I just know what I want or I know what it is,
• 1:17:00
  what it is, I'm either I'm gonna do this or I'm not gonna do
• 1:17:02
  it. I'm just kind of like that, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:17:05
  So I had to fight with that or whatever. So I try not to
• 1:17:11
  get angry because I mean, it ain't no grace. There is no grace,
• 1:17:16
  but thank you. You know, I don't know if I want to
• 1:17:18
  apologize or she's like, should I say I'm sorry that argument you already apologized.
• 1:17:26
  I did so I accepted your apology. I heard that I did.
• 1:17:30
  I forgive you. But in that, in that moment, I you did
• 1:17:35
  give me a gift and I am very thankful for that. And like,
• 1:17:41
  even like now, like I tell people if something's happening, and I feel
• 1:17:45
  like, if I want to know the truth, I'm a kind my sister,
• 1:17:48
  period, because this is not the sister. You know y'all some of
• 1:17:51
  y'all. I know y'all got sister's family, members, friends, whatever's gonna
• 1:17:55
  write or whatever you say, that ain't my sister. My sister's gonna tell
• 1:18:00
  Noah you was wrong. I remember one situation I literally told her, hey,
• 1:18:06
  I knew I was right, and I wanted her to be like,
• 1:18:11
  yeah, let's ride out. You know what I'm saying, just because like,
• 1:18:13
  but how could you handle it differently? What you mean me? And
• 1:18:15
  you just hear what I told them, it ain't that, But how could
• 1:18:19
  you handle that differently? You know what, I'm gonna call you back then?
• 1:18:25
  And she does that, and I appreciate that. I always need that
• 1:18:28
  and I tell people that all the time, even though you know the big
• 1:18:30
  decision I made last year before I made it, and I know, just
• 1:18:32
  could you want me to? I do talk to God and just always like,
• 1:18:35
  look, I don't want, I don't want to lead you a certain
• 1:18:39
  way, but because of your relationship with God, and I know that you
• 1:18:45
  are not going to be leaning towards me because I'm your sister. You always
• 1:18:50
  leaning towards God like you don't lean, you don't lean, ain't. We're
• 1:18:55
  human and sometimes we can't do it. But for the most part, when
• 1:18:58
  I have those conversations with you, you you're able to tell me things to
• 1:19:05
  where I'm looking at the righteous answer instead of you know, the selfish answer,
• 1:19:13
  right, So it has nothing to do with you, It has nothing
• 1:19:15
  to do with me, has to do with God. And I appreciate that
• 1:19:18
  a lot, and sometimes I don't want to hear it. So sometimes I
• 1:19:20
  get quiet. Just be like, what's going on. I'm like, I
• 1:19:23
  don't want to talk about I don't want to say that. No, I
• 1:19:26
  don't want to be mad. Let me alone. I don't care what the
• 1:19:28
  Bible said. I want to cut this person out. I don't care I'm
• 1:19:32
  mad. Just be like, Okay, I understand your feelings. But yeah,
• 1:19:38
  but but you know what, even what you're saying that, Kendle and
• 1:19:41
  I'm gonna put myself on front street even with you saying that. Y'all know
• 1:19:46
  how when you you pour seeds and the seed, you know, start growing.
• 1:19:51
  I didn't. Did those are seeds that I produce? Like there was
• 1:19:56
  a seeds that I planted in kindle. Now that she's growing, she gives
• 1:20:00
  me like I say me back to me, and I'm like, wait,
• 1:20:05
  hold up, but I ain't used to this. I'm not used to you're
• 1:20:12
  coming for my neck with righteousness. I'm not your oh truth. And when
• 1:20:20
  you come back in me, I'm like, because you know, we can't
• 1:20:25
  see ourselves a lot, right and sometimes and this accountability word is something I'm
• 1:20:31
  working on. I ain't. Let's just I'm gonna be we tell the truth
• 1:20:35
  here, right, you're telling our accountability is something I struggle with because I
• 1:20:40
  never really I was accountable for me. I've been accountable for me, just
• 1:20:45
  calling spade and spade. So when somebody else trying to especially my especially countable,
• 1:20:53
  I reach back that anger that it comes it comes in, like,
• 1:20:57
  hey, who do you think you are? I'm I'm older, I raised
• 1:21:00
  you like that that part of me one of them just rise up. But
• 1:21:03
  this is the woman that you developed and poured into and she saw you do
• 1:21:06
  it, So why she can't give it back to you? Oh Now,
• 1:21:10
  y'all, I'm gonna reference this video back to it. I'm just saying,
• 1:21:15
  like that is a that is a real moment. But you talked about gifts,
• 1:21:17
  Kilda, and you're the gift that keeps giving. Oh you are.
• 1:21:21
  And so I know that this conversation is going to be played amongst a lot
• 1:21:29
  of people, a lot of shout out to Kild the clients. I know
• 1:21:32
  y'all gonna watch this. Some of y'all been prayed for y'all haven't been on
• 1:21:35
  y'all, don't been on Bloodline prayer like cuz like, and y'all done got
• 1:21:42
  the blessing out that, So shout out to y'all. We just I'm just
• 1:21:47
  so proud of you and what you're doing. And I'm proud of your you
• 1:21:53
  exposing yourself in the season, not just as a uh locktician, but just
• 1:22:00
  as a woman a god. Kenna have just rededicated her life to Christ,
• 1:22:03
  like a month ago now, it's been about almost too much. Yeah,
• 1:22:08
  it's beautiful, and she's serving in church, she is reading her word,
• 1:22:16
  she is just developing, and I'm it's obey God, Obey God. I'm
• 1:22:29
  not blaming me for anything. I'm not saying, oh my gosh, this
• 1:22:31
  is because of me. But what I am saying is that I've been able
• 1:22:36
  to be a part of her journey because I obey God. I obedience led
• 1:22:43
  a lot of people to righteousness. I will say that a lot of a
• 1:22:54
  lot of things, like thinking about how I feel like Christianity is supposed to
• 1:23:00
  look. That was always the insecurity of me, because again, you know,
• 1:23:05
  you want to be that person that belied in with everybody. But being
• 1:23:11
  able to stand on who you are and stand on your truth and stand on
• 1:23:17
  what you believe has made me bold and made me be able. So you
• 1:23:23
  know, I always talk about how proud am of you, but you being
• 1:23:28
  bold and you showing your boldness and you being able to always be your authentic
• 1:23:32
  self no matter I mean it might hurt your feelings how people feel, but
• 1:23:38
  no matter how people feel, just because literally the same person, literally,
• 1:23:44
  And I'm always so proud of that in someway, like I said, envious
• 1:23:47
  of it. I wish I could go. I'm done better now, but
• 1:23:51
  used to just really hide behind people, and I'm able to be bold and
• 1:23:58
  be courageous and them staying on my word because you know of what you do
• 1:24:06
  and who who you're showing people you are, you know, people just preachers
• 1:24:12
  on it. Like I tell people, how was siding with my sister cool,
• 1:24:15
  she don't care, she gonna she do not care like she I mean,
• 1:24:19
  she gonna give you gess. You can be sitting there with with say
• 1:24:24
  this because it's podcast you can have and she gonna be like what church you
• 1:24:30
  go to? Well, Jesus told me. And every time I get like
• 1:24:32
  I get, I know my sisters. If my sister's around, you're gonna
• 1:24:35
  get a word period. Like and I to hear people talk about how like
• 1:24:44
  you say only I love when you say that. I just love to see
• 1:24:46
  how other you are. I just I love that. I love that.
• 1:24:51
  I love being going six a m prayers and having it on speaker and you
• 1:24:58
  being genuine and praying and speaking in tongs, and oh I love that.
• 1:25:03
  And I wanted, like I said, I'm not that leader, Like I'm
• 1:25:08
  a type of leader, but I'm not that bold leader like you, but
• 1:25:12
  a lot of things that you have prayed, not only just for me before
• 1:25:17
  our bloodline. It's literally working through me to be able to lead others to
• 1:25:24
  Christ and show people like I told people, I want to be more like
• 1:25:27
  Jesus. I don't want to be like nobody else. Jesus. Jesus hung
• 1:25:30
  with the thugs. Jesus loved the prostitutes. Nothing in that way, y'all.
• 1:25:36
  He he was that man, he was. And and for people to
• 1:25:42
  forget that, come on, come on, knda, I feel annointing for
• 1:25:47
  real. For people to forget that, that irritates my soul. And but
• 1:25:55
  anyway, and you putting your saying, you saying everything you said about me
• 1:25:59
  today, it just made me want like I'm bolder now, like just like
• 1:26:02
  you affirming me and just everything that I'm like, Okay, I'm doing I'm
• 1:26:05
  doing this right. Like not that I'm trying to be a people pleasing yeah
• 1:26:12
  thing, but I'm doing I'm doing what my heart is telling me to do.
• 1:26:15
  I'm doing what literally God is leading me to do. Is and I'm
• 1:26:19
  called to love people and and not cast judgment on there because if I can
• 1:26:25
  tell y'all a story real too about me, something about ooh and that one
• 1:26:30
  one for you girls. For me, I am redeemed honey who bought with
• 1:26:35
  the price whoa my god? If you know, you know, babe,
• 1:26:41
  babe, be let's just talk about that. So I'm enjoying. I'm really
• 1:26:46
  enjoying this, just being able to be me and be free. Like that's
• 1:26:51
  that's what that was. The freedom is free Okay, the rededication was free
• 1:26:57
  freedom. Well let me take that. Freedom ain't free. It's not free.
• 1:27:01
  It cost you some. Yeah, but it's so it's it's worth free
• 1:27:05
  is free freedom? Yeah, and it's not fake, like it's not it's
• 1:27:12
  not it's not fake. It's you embody freedom. You like when you talk
• 1:27:16
  about peace, peace of pastes, understanding, it's like, oh, you're
• 1:27:19
  supposed to be losing your mind right now. It just get everything that you're
• 1:27:24
  doing, kill everything you're doing, desiate everything that you do, doesn't ray.
• 1:27:28
  You supposed to be losing. You're supposed to be upset with God.
• 1:27:30
  How you're gonna get all these promises and prophetic words. God has literally shifted
• 1:27:38
  your life, like he doesn't really shifted your life, and you still you
• 1:27:43
  still gonna claim g O DH absolutely, the big g Absolutely, you still
• 1:27:47
  claiming him. And so we just gotta I feel like, we just gotta
• 1:27:49
  make a decision. We just gotta make a decision. And those harder decisions
• 1:27:56
  are because we haven't postured our heart to for God to vere or steer,
• 1:28:04
  that's the word. And so Kendall, like I said, you the gift
• 1:28:09
  that keeps on giving. So I wanted hold on, hold on. So
• 1:28:13
  I'm just gonna say this has been beautiful just to watch and just to hear
• 1:28:15
  y'all. Because what's interesting though, is that you guys were jealous and envy
• 1:28:19
  of each other of what you were carrying and what you were carrying, and
• 1:28:23
  didn't realize it was for a reason, you know what I'm saying, Like
• 1:28:26
  you both are gifted in your own right, like the gifts that are inside
• 1:28:30
  were put there. Oh we'll put there before you entered into the world.
• 1:28:35
  Yeah, right, And so now it's just beautiful to see that both of
• 1:28:39
  you are walking in that like unapologetically, even though sometimes it's a little it
• 1:28:45
  can be a little tough, you know what I'm saying, Because I think
• 1:28:46
  I dealt with the people pleasing the people pleasing too. You know what,
• 1:28:51
  I'm saying. But now as I'm understanding about more of who I am,
• 1:28:58
  kind of what it's calling me to do and things, It's like, oh,
• 1:29:04
  okay, things start to make sense now. Like you're like, if
• 1:29:08
  you think about your childhood, some of the things that you endured, the
• 1:29:11
  people you're around, it starts to it really starts to make sense. Like
• 1:29:15
  even with hair, like I've been doing here since I was twelve, Right,
• 1:29:18
  I said, I wasn't doing hell full living. I was supposed to
• 1:29:20
  be a nurse. I was supposed to be a nurse because you know,
• 1:29:24
  I just love to help people and that was the most tangible thing that I
• 1:29:27
  could think about that looked like that. But as I started to journey along,
• 1:29:31
  obviously that wasn't that wasn't the case, right, And so I decided
• 1:29:38
  to do hair. But in that it's like, dang, it's got to
• 1:29:40
  be more to this. And as I started to grow and learn and decide
• 1:29:45
  to start a relationship with God, yeah, I realized that it was deeper
• 1:29:47
  than just hair. And so I kind of get a little sad because as
• 1:29:51
  I'm kind of transitioning a little bit out of out of doing hair a little
• 1:29:56
  bit, just the stories that I hear from clients when they come back about
• 1:29:59
  them, I ain to find somebody else, and the lack of care and
• 1:30:01
  the lack of you know, consistency and the lack of professionalism that that girl
• 1:30:08
  has infiltrated, like the beauty industry, you know what I'm saying. So
• 1:30:11
  I almost feel like obligated almost because it's like, but I can't just leave
• 1:30:15
  them like this. I just can't leave them out here like this because I've
• 1:30:19
  fostered an environment for them to come into, to heal, to grow.
• 1:30:24
  Like I've had several people just like just cry and I'm just like, oh
• 1:30:29
  Lord, what I'm suposed to do? It's okay, It's cool, you
• 1:30:33
  know. But it's just been beautiful to see y'all like to really like step
• 1:30:38
  into that. And So Jessica wasn't calling out anything in you that wasn't already
• 1:30:43
  in you. You know what I'm saying. It's just a matter now you're
• 1:30:45
  starting to see it and to understand it and to own it, own it
• 1:30:48
  in your own right, Like your ministry is in your salon and he's calling
• 1:30:54
  you to these different people and he's already put that what you need for them
• 1:30:58
  in you. You know what I'm saying, You just have to be like,
• 1:31:00
  Okay, I'm gonna walk in this bowly and whatever boldly looks like for
• 1:31:02
  you. Your bowl may not look like Jessica bowl, but you're still bowld,
• 1:31:05
  you know, saying. So it's just being real cool. I'm just
• 1:31:08
  That's why I'm That's why I'm saying much. I'm just like, man,
• 1:31:10
  this is so dope. Lord is so good. Yeah, it's so good
• 1:31:13
  because it's it just takes time. You know, every and everybody walks into
• 1:31:15
  that into that alignment in their own time and when they're when they're ready.
• 1:31:20
  That's so good. And that's why we want you to talk about you.
• 1:31:23
  You're getting past. You don't like what I'm saying. I mean, I'm
• 1:31:29
  I'm as we talk about accepting and walking and on and things. I'm beginning
• 1:31:33
  to you know, and you're the one that's for different people like I.
• 1:31:36
  Every time I see you, I just attract myself to you because you're like
• 1:31:42
  different. You're like very quirky here, you know, like I love it
• 1:31:46
  and I just love to see I hate I'm not gonna say I hate polish
• 1:31:48
  people. Polished people. I'll be like I like people, you're not as
• 1:31:54
  polished, I see. No, no, no, you're you're not suiting
• 1:31:57
  like them. Blocks though the hop them know she is a whole different nads
• 1:32:04
  back then, because what kind of lost on meals? Yeah, like people,
• 1:32:10
  really are you locking up? What is it? On the end?
• 1:32:15
  Her texture? It's my I got a little good here it here a little
• 1:32:21
  bit, just a little bit solid. No no, no, why would
• 1:32:27
  you rock that pretty hair? Anyway, it's a whole other subject for another
• 1:32:31
  Anyway, I really enjoyed this. I wasn't expected. Just trying to get
• 1:32:34
  me on this show. I told him last week, I said last season,
• 1:32:38
  I said, Kendall is going to be on the show and she gonna
• 1:32:42
  be back. And I was just about to say that because you're gonna I
• 1:32:45
  know, people are gonna enjoy this. One is just being able to see
• 1:32:48
  you know us, people wonder how we are. This is literally, yes,
• 1:32:55
  like you see me. If you're watching on YouTube, what you should
• 1:32:58
  be or you can listen with whichever one you would like to do. You
• 1:33:03
  see how comfortable I am. She's comfortable. I don't know how many people
• 1:33:08
  she would do this with because she doesn't consider herself like a speaker or anything
• 1:33:12
  like that. But I'm calling that fourth. Come on vocal again. Listen,
• 1:33:17
  I'm calling the teacher fourth. You have a teacher's annoyingting and it wasn't
• 1:33:24
  just for them kids. Even though Kendall do love the kids. Kendall love
• 1:33:28
  the kids, love the kid. Kendall does does well with you. She
• 1:33:30
  got so much patience. Did we say she had three kids? Three trees?
• 1:33:38
  Won't won't that's a whole nother podcast. But Kendall, thank you for
• 1:33:42
  joining us on the platform. If you want to tell people how they can
• 1:33:45
  connect with you, you can connect with me. I am Kendle's dray heads,
• 1:33:49
  please one L. I grew up with people putting two l's on my
• 1:33:55
  name and it's just irritates my soul. So it's Kendall k e n d
• 1:33:59
  A A l s dread d r e a d heads h e a d
• 1:34:06
  s Kendall dread kindles dreadheads kindle with one L Kendles d red heads on every
• 1:34:13
  single PA. If you don't see Kendall's red heads, then it ain't me.
• 1:34:18
  If you don't see this beautiful beat face, y'all, it's not gonna
• 1:34:21
  be like this because Kim shout to Kim Summers. Kimd Kim Kim beat the
• 1:34:30
  she she beats the glory into your face. Okay, this is what she
• 1:34:40
  That's what she did. Okay, she didn't beat it beating listen she she's
• 1:34:45
  she went kissed the make up with a with a wife. Anyway, I
• 1:34:49
  appreciate you. I love you genuinely. I am so proud of you.
• 1:34:55
  Thank you for rocking with us, thank you for supporting everything that I do.
• 1:35:00
  And that's it, y'all. We're gonna tag her into everything. We
• 1:35:04
  love you, guys, until next week. Life could be much more simple
• 1:35:10
  if you just ask. We'll see you later. Hey, y'all, thank
• 1:35:17
  you for listening to just ask. If you enjoyed this experience, be sure
• 1:35:21
  to like coming and rate so others can find the show. If you'd like
• 1:35:27
  to stay connected with me, feel free to follow me at the Jessica Smith
• 1:35:30
  on all platforms. Again, I'm your girl, jess Until next time,