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Diva Mia: Navigating First Dates with Confidence · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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Music.
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No filters, no limits.
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Just fearless conversations to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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Well, hello, everyone. This is Diva Mia, and today I'm going to be talking to
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you a little bit about your first date.
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First dates can be the first time you're dating a specific person.
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Sometimes it's a first date that you're coming back into dating after being
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married for a while, or you were in a long-term relationship for a while.
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Whatever it may be, a first date can be very, very nerve-wracking.
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So I wanted to go over a few things that might help you determine,
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first of all, should you even be dating the person?
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And then secondly, are you ready to date?
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And then once you are ready, let's go over kind of what you need to do as far
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as getting ready for that first date.
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So to start off, the first thing you have to ask yourself is,
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are you emotionally available?
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Are you emotionally ready to go out on a date? Are you still healing from that last relationship?
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Or are you just, it's too much? And you shouldn't be pushing yourself to go
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out on a first date before you're ready.
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That's rule number one. There's no rush.
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You live in a world where there's plenty of people, so don't feel like there's
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any scarcity when it comes to the right people and the right partner. So there is no rush.
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Is the person that you're going to go out with, are they even the right person
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for you to be going out with?
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Is the person you're going to be going out with, are they aligned with you?
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So I know that a lot of times we rush to get back into the dating scene because
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we're nervous that we're going to miss out or that the person that is right
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for us is going to find someone else.
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And here's my belief. If it's the right person for you, they're going to be
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there when you're ready.
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You don't have to rush and you don't have to push because something happens when you're ready.
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People that are aligned with you, they just come to you. You don't even have
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to worry about it. Let's assume that you are emotionally ready.
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Have you had enough conversations with this person? I know that some people
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will go on a first date with someone when they've just done a few text messages.
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Now, my belief is why? And here's my thinking and my thought process.
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It's going to take a lot to get ready for your date. You might do your nails,
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your hair. You've got to pick out an outfit.
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You've got to spend at least an hour getting ready, maybe two.
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And then on top of that, you want to prep before.
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You're going to have to tell a friend that, hey, I'm going on a date with such
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and such at this location.
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Dating now is a lot more different than it used to be.
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You want to be safe at the same time you want to make sure you look your best.
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So if you haven't had at least a
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phone conversation with this person or a video
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chat I don't know if it's time to go out on a date because
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I will tell you there have been some people that I have texted from dating apps
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etc that seemed amazing and then when you actually get on the phone with them
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you find out they're a completely different person and I've had that happen multiple times,
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And so after the phone conversation, I don't want to go on a date with them.
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I'm very selective on who I go on dates with. So if someone actually makes it to the date date.
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Portion, they've been filtered already. So they've been filtered by text,
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they've been filtered by a phone call, and a lot of times they've also been
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filtered by a video chat.
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Some people you'll know after a phone call if you align.
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I remember I talked to one guy on the phone.
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I ended up talking to him for the first time for an hour. He ended up was bold
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enough to call me, which I find wonderful in the day of texting.
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Any men that call me and talk to me on the phone, it's amazing because I'm so
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sick of the texting, just to tell you the truth. And it may be that I'm a Gen Xer.
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I don't know. But when a man can actually pick up the phone,
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hold a conversation, an intelligent conversation nonetheless,
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they get brownie points in my belief system. They get brownie points in my life.
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That's also a green flag for me. But a red flag is what happens if they refuse to do a video chat.
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That's kind of a really big red flag. If they're like, oh, I can't do it.
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Now, if they say, oh, I don't have FaceTime or, oh, could we do a Zoom?
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That's fine. But if they refuse, I don't know if you want to actually be alone with someone.
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And even when you're in a restaurant, it's kind of like being alone.
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Bad things can happen. If they don't want to tell you where they work or where
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they live, that's also a red flag.
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You know, if you think about it, people should disclose like,
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you know, I live in such and such town or I work at such and such place.
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That way you can kind of check them out ahead of time. And you do need to know
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their first and last name before you go out with them.
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I know a lot of people on these dating apps, they don't get the last name.
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And I think it's important.
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You should kind of just at least Google the person before you go out with them.
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I don't like the men that say, oh, maybe we can catch up on Friday night.
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And then they don't make any plans. And then Friday night comes and goes and
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you don't hear from them. That's someone that's making you an option.
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You're the backup plan to their date. Do you really want to be someone's backup
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plan? And personally, if I'm dating someone, I want to be important in their
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life. I want them to show up for me.
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I want me to be a priority. If I'm not a priority, you know,
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I kind of get disinterested and I want to move on.
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And it's happened before. Sometimes you date a person and you're no longer a priority.
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Might be time to move on. But specifically for a first date,
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if someone can't even make you a priority for a first date, you're wasting your time.
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That's a person that you don't want to associate with. On the phone,
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if they can't hold a consistent conversation or if all they do is talk about
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themselves, a face-to-face date's going to be no different.
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And I have had that happen where I talk to a person, we try to have a conversation,
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and all he does is talk about himself.
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I found it all about him, and you can tell from the phone conversation, he's very egotistical.
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Why on the heck would you even go out? Why would you entertain a date?
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And one of the other things you might want to consider is maybe just meet for coffee.
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A coffee date's easy, and if you don't like the guy, or you don't think you're
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going to like the guy, you can always leave early.
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Now, there have been coffee dates I've had that have turned into hour longs,
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two or three hour long dates, just because it was an entertaining and I found
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the other person intelligent.
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Sometimes coffee dates, the nice thing is, is if it's terrible,
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you can be out of there in 15, 20 minutes, no harm, no foul.
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You got your coffee and all you wasted was an hour getting ready.
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When you're going out on a first date, you're going to want to make sure that
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you look your best because first impressions are important.
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And I'm a big believer in dressing up for the occasion.
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So if you're going for coffee, you should still look professional.
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Don't go for coffee in yoga pants and a t-shirt.
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That's terrible. I actually had a guy show up one time that was wearing like
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workout shorts and a shirt that was polo, but it was just it was ridiculous.
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I went on another date where a guy showed up in a shirt and it was all wrinkly.
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You want to make sure you're presentable and it's extremely important,
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not just for women, but for men as well. The first thing is make sure you smell good.
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OK, so if you've ever walked into a house that smells, the number one reason
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why properties don't sell is odor. It's not actually view.
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So when a property smells, if it smells like mold or if it smells musty,
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most people think it's going to have a mold problem.
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So if you smell on your first date, you're going to turn somebody off and they're
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going to think, oh, this person's not clean. This person's not well kept.
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Same thing as if you're all sweaty. If you have a sweating problem and you know
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that you sweat a lot, especially in the hot summer, don't go on a lunchtime date.
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If you smell, go on a dinner date late in the evening when it's cooler so you're
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not all sweaty all over the person.
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Eventually, they're going to get to see you sweat. I mean, that's going to happen.
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But your first impression should not be someone stinky and sweaty.
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That's a terrible first date. So make sure you've groomed yourself well.
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Make sure you've washed your hair and you've styled it. It needs to look very presentable.
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Now, I have curly hair, so my hair gets a little crazy at times.
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But I still have to take care of it and make sure it looks good.
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Make sure your nails are done.
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I don't care if you get nail sets on or if you get them just cleaned up and manicured.
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But having dirty nails, whether you're a man or a woman, is a huge turn off.
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I show up on a date and a guy's got dirty fingernails. I'm like, ew, what the heck?
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I don't care if he's a mechanic. You need to clean those nails before you come on a date with me.
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And if you're a woman and you have dirty nails or they're not manicured,
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that's going to be a turnoff for a guy. He's going to think you're not well kept.
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Make sure that you also, you know, besides your nails, make sure your hands
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are soft. So use moisturizer.
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Make sure that you've got moisturizer all over your body, including your face.
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You might want to do a face mask the night before. So this is prep time.
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You're going to spend time prepping yourself for a first date.
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So if you're wasting time by not pre-screening a person just because you're
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so excited that you got a date, that's a waste of your time. I don't care who you are.
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You need to pre-screen them to the point that you're not going to waste time
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on a first date if they suck.
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And when I say suck, I say that with tongue in cheek because everybody is right
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for someone else. It's a question of, is this one right for you?
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And if they're not, they suck for you.
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You need to not even go out on a date with them. Don't waste your time.
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Dating takes too much work to waste time with people that aren't even close.
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Don't wear too much cologne as well. So you're going to moisturize your body.
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You're going to make sure your face looks good. Make sure your hair looks good.
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Make sure your nails look good.
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Don't wear too much cologne. That's a huge turnoff.
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You'll smell like a perfume shop. Putting on a bunch of cologne before a date.
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Now, I like it when people put it on their clothes and they just lightly put it on.
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It's a nice fragrance then, and it's not too overpowering. But don't like douse yourself in it.
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It'll be terrible. And if you can smell it to the point of tasting it, you know it's wrong.
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Ask someone around you, maybe ask your children or ask a friend,
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hey, how's my cologne smell?
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Because sometimes when you're used to that fragrance, you don't actually know
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how strong that fragrance is.
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And then make sure that you've shaved your legs. make
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sure that you've waxed and if you do laser
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treatments or whatever make sure all that is
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cleaned up now i am not by any means
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promoting that you sleep with someone on the first date i think
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first dates are great to get to know someone you can give them a hug at the
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end of the date shake their hand or if you want to and the date went really
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well you can give them a kiss however i think that you need to make sure you're
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shaved now when i say shaved if you're a man you should have your face shaved
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unless you have a beard, but clean it up.
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Don't have some scruffy, stinky beard.
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One of the big problems that men have with their beards is they have an odor.
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And they don't clean it enough. So if you're going to have a beard,
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make sure it's cleaned up, because a woman can smell your beard from across the table, honestly.
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If you're a woman, make sure that if you have any stray hairs,
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those have been plucked.
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If you have, some women get like a little mustache, make sure that's shaved
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off, make sure your legs are shaved, make sure you're waxed,
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and just it'll make you feel more confident.
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If you're wearing a skirt, sometimes a guy might rub up against your leg or your knee.
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Not that he should be feeling up your leg. he may rub up against it.
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And if it's really prickly or has a lot of hair on it, that'll be a turnoff
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and he'll think you're not very well groomed.
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And then make sure you pick out the outfit.
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And one of the things I learned the hard way is you need to pick out the outfit
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the night before and try it on, make sure it looks good.
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That way you're not rushing getting ready for your date because what seems to happen,
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like I know I had a first date with somebody and we were
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going for a nice dinner with some friends and I
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was rushing so much because my nails took too long
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and when that happens you're rushed and
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you just throw whatever you can on and I was rushing with my hair I was rushing
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with because I didn't have my clothes picked out I didn't know what I really
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wanted to wear and it just added stress so by the time he showed up I was a
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stress case and that's no way to start a date you don't want to do that you
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want to make sure that when you meet the person that you're calm,
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you're cool, you're collected, you're relaxed.
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Pick out your outfit the night before. Try to make sure you have ample time,
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maybe double what it usually takes you to get ready, so you have plenty of time
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to get ready and you don't have to rush.
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Make sure your outfit matches too. Make sure your shoes are picked out the night before.
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Make sure your purse is picked out. Any accessories like jewelry,
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you have all of that figured out.
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Even your cologne, have that picked out the night before if you have multiple colognes.
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You should have your makeup that you're going to take with you already in your
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to-go purse for the night.
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You should have it all ready to go. Make sure you also have a credit card just
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in case you need it because sometimes first dates go bad.
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Of course, your phone is fully charged so that if you need to call an Uber,
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you can unless you're driving there.
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So there you go. Those are some ideas of things you need to do just to get ready for that date.
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So again, you see, there's a lot of preparation needed to get ready for a date.
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So why would you waste your time with someone that's just not a fit?
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And some people say, well, oh, well, I need to make sure I meet them because
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maybe they'll be better in person than they are on the phone. But here's the thing.
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If they're nervous and not really doing well on the phone, when you meet them
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in person, it's going to be worse.
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It's going to usually be way worse. So you want to make sure that you're actually
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spending time with, and your time is valuable.
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Spend time only with quality people that, you know, have a chance.
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Sometimes you don't have an
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option, though, because sometimes you're getting fixed up on a blind date.
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Then hopefully the people that are fixing you up kind of know what you're looking
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for so that it won't be a total nightmare when you show up, all right?
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So just hopefully there you can put your faith in whoever, whatever friends
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or family are setting you up on that first date.
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So remind yourself, though, of your worth. I think a lot of women go into a
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date and they're looking at the man as, oh, I hope he likes me.
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And that's not the way to approach a date.
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The date should be, I'm gathering data to see if I want to even entertain you further.
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A first date is amazing because it's there for you to ask questions and see
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if there's even any type of connection.
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If after a first date, you have no connection or it lasts for 15 minutes or
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the person drives you a little weird or gives you a bad vibe,
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it's time to shut it down.
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Remind yourself you're worthy of so much and don't settle.
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For Pete's sakes, we're in our
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40s and 50s and 60s. If we don't want to be with a man, then that's okay.
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Most of us are financially independent at this stage anyway.
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So at this point, there's no desperation. You're choosing a man because you
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want to be with them and you want to give them your time.
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But don't give your time to anyone. You need to make sure you're very selective and don't settle.
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Also, this is one of the things I have issues with, is not to overshare.
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Don't over-rehearse. Don't have a script of, like, this is what happened to
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me then, and then this is what happened.
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Don't have a script of exactly your life story. But at the same time,
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don't overshare. Now, I do tend
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to answer questions very directly and honestly, and I do give a summary.
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I'm a very big bullet point type of person. I usually do give a good summary
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of who I am, and I do ask a lot of questions, but sometimes I do overshare.
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I'm a very honest and truthful person. It's up to you how much you want to share.
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I do not, and I repeat this a thousand times, recommend you talking about your
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ex-boyfriend or your ex-husband or whomever you were with last to the new person.
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Now, they may ask how long you were married, which is fine. Why'd you get divorced?
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That would be fine, too. You can give a quick, no more than 20-second synopsis with just a summary.
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Do not spend even a minute. Do not even spend 60 seconds talking about your
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ex. You're there to learn about them.
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You're there to interview them for the job of being your boyfriend.
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They're the interviewee. They need to impress you. Yes, you want to impress
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them. You want to look good. You want to be your best. You want to be at your best level.
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They're there to interview to be your boyfriend, and you need to take it as
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such, and it's not there to complain.
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For instance, if you were going in for a job interview, you want to be sitting
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there bad-mouthing the last company you're with, And if you do,
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no company would ever hire you.
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Why would you do that when you're going out for a date and you're bad-mouthing your ex?
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Why would a new guy want to even take you out?
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Because it sounds like you're dramatic and you're going to bad-mouth him as
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soon as you guys break up.
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Now, you could say, yes, I got a divorce. My husband cheated on me, but I'm okay.
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Everything's worked out for the best and I've moved on. That's fine.
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But if you sit there and say, yeah, my ex cheated on me with this younger woman
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or this older woman or whatever it is, and we were together for 30 years,
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and I'm so upset about it.
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And I mean, come on, would you want to be with somebody like that?
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You need to behave yourself.
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And remember the golden rule. Remember the golden rule is you want to treat
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people the way you want to be treated and you want to be with somebody the way
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you want to be with somebody.
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At the same time, you may want to ask them a quick synopsis of what happened in their marriage.
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For me personally, I don't date men that have cheated on their spouses because
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I don't want to have a man cheat on me. I don't date cheaters.
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It's just one of my pet peeves.
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If they tell you, and in fact, I usually find out what happened in their previous
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marriage or what happened with their last girlfriend ahead of time.
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I like to do that on the phone so I don't even waste my time.
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So typically I already know that, but if you wait till the first date to find
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that out, Try not to ask too many probing questions because you don't want him
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spilling and crying over his beer about his ex-wife.
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There's nothing more unattractive than that happening. So again, don't overshare.
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And then say an affirmation for yourself when you're driving to your first date
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or taking an Uber or a Lyft to your first date.
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Say, I'm a magnet. I'm safe. I'm enough. I'm incredible.
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I'm the best possible version of me. Say an affirmation. The affirmation will
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give you some confidence.
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For this date, and it will just make you have such positivity going into this first date.
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Now, some rules just for safety is always make sure you're going to meet in
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public and always never, ever, ever have them pick you up on a first date.
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It used to be that way when we were growing up that you could have a guy pick you up your house.
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Well, you also had your parents there, so that was a little bit different.
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Probably living on your own or living with your children, so you don't want
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someone to know where you live. There's too many stalkers out there, ladies.
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And you never want to have them show up and order you an Uber home because then
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they'll know your address as well.
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So don't do that. Don't allow them to order your Uber.
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Uber or your car ride home one of the things that
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you can do with most phones is you can drop a pin and tell them where
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you're at or you can tell your friends where you're at so if you're
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going to go out on a date and you're going to meet someone let your
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friend know where and then when you get there drop the pin that way
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they can see where you're at and make sure it's live streaming for
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24 hours so that they can see where you're at when you
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get home it's a safety issue and it's important to
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be safe on dates too because it's a crazy
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world out there you can also create an sos signal for
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your friend like say hey if i text you that
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i want to order pizza later tonight or if
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i text you that what are you doing for sunset tomorrow
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some code that your friend
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could see in a text that if you texted it and
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he oversaw it he wouldn't think anything but your friend would know you need
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help always have that because you should have some type of of words or or you
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could even just have a color like blue or red or have something that you can
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text to your friend and say, hey, I need help.
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And you don't know when that's going to be. I mean, it could be at any time.
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I like something that's smaller. So if it's a really bad situation.
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You type a few like one word and they know to come get you. Try to drive yourself.
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Now, if you have to use RightShare, that's fine.
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Just make sure that you're not having your date order it for you and they don't
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know where you're going to and from. That's just the most important.
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And make sure to check in with somebody. So you know what? A lot of times I'll
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say, I'm going to go on a date.
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I'll text you an hour later if it's going well.
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And if I leave early, I'll text you. It's nice to check in with somebody just for safety's sake.
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It really is. And I know we're older and there shouldn't be a problem,
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but problems have happened more regularly than you expect. So you want to make
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sure you're safe. And you can also take a picture of their license plate or
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the location that you're at and send it to your friend. That way your friend knows you're safe.
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One of the big things before I think it's important, before you go out on a
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date, is you ask yourself is, would I date me? And I've said this before on
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podcasts. I always say to myself, would I date me? Am I ready to go on a date?
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And if I would not date me, why am I ready to go out on a date?
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Because, for instance, let's say that you're in a health journey and you're
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getting in shape. If you're going out early on a date and you're not ready to
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date, you're not going to feel comfortable in your skin.
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If you're not emotionally stable enough, meaning that you cry when you think
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about your ex or you talk about him too much or you dwell on him and you're
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not really healed, you're not really ready to go on a date. Now, some people will.
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Just remember that's not really fair to the other person and it's really not fair to you.
22:23
So maybe it's time that you spend more time with you if that's the case.
22:27
You should also think, you know, I'm going on a first date. It's going to be awkward no matter what.
22:32
So if you've been newly single, it's going to be awkward the first date, no matter who it's with.
22:37
So just understand there's never a perfect first date.
22:40
As long as you're stable enough, you're not crying, you're not thinking about
22:44
your ex all the time, it might be okay to go out, but there's going to be pauses.
22:48
Sit with the silence. There's nothing wrong with silence. You don't have to constantly talk.
22:52
Sometimes you have instant chemistry. Sometimes the person takes a while to
22:56
build up some chemistry. Sometimes they're smart, and sometimes they're just
23:00
not so bright. And it depends on what you're looking for.
23:02
And some people care more about a guy's pocketbook than they care about his
23:05
intelligence, and some people care more about a guy's looks than they care about what he drives.
23:10
So it depends on what you're looking for. Now, I'm more about character.
23:15
And intelligence, but not everybody's like that. So it's up to you to determine
23:19
what's important to you.
23:21
And you should know about this stuff kind of before. That way you don't waste your time.
23:25
And you might see red flags right away. If you're with a person that all they
23:30
do is talk about themselves, and all they do is tell you how magnificent they
23:35
are, you're going to see that's a huge red flag.
23:37
I don't need another narcissist in my life.
23:39
So there's four, I don't want to go out with a person like that,
23:43
but you honestly probably already saw that on the phone, so why waste your time?
23:47
It's not your job to impress the other person, but you should be authentic,
23:51
and don't lie and make up stuff that's not true.
23:56
When you do so, it's ridiculous because you're not going to remember, but they will.
24:01
A lot of people on first dates remember everything the other person said,
24:05
or a good portion of it, and so then if they say something later and you'll
24:08
be like, oh, I don't remember saying that. Well, now you're a liar.
24:11
So just don't lie or even like make yourself bigger than you are because nobody wants that.
24:18
It's not your job to impress them. And one of the things that you can talk about
24:23
is that, you know, stuff that's not politics and religion and past exes is some
24:30
places you've traveled to. That's a great topic.
24:33
Where do you want to travel to? What are your hobbies? I mean,
24:36
what are you interested in? What are you passionate about?
24:40
And people like to hear that type of stuff. It really does let them know whether
24:45
you're a growth-minded person or you prefer comfort or you even have the same
24:49
hobbies. And then what type of goals you have.
24:52
Sometimes that's important to other people. Sometimes it's not.
24:56
And then you can tell some funny family stories if you want.
24:58
But do not tell any stories about your ex at all.
25:02
And then don't trauma dump. Like, don't tell them your childhood. Oh, my gosh.
25:06
If I went on a first date and somebody told me how terrible their childhood
25:09
was, I mean, they could say, yeah, I grew up a little rough, but I'm doing okay.
25:13
But if they trauma dump on me or start crying or tell me how terrible it is
25:18
or talk about their ex and how terrible they were, etc., it's not going to be a good date.
25:24
In fact, I probably end the date right about when they start getting overly
25:28
emotional because that's not impressive. if I don't need to take care of another man.
25:32
I have plenty of children to raise, and I do not want to raise someone else's
25:38
poorly raised adult male.
25:40
There's no reason for you to have to take care of a 40-year-old, 50-year-old man.
25:44
They need to be emotionally stable, or you shouldn't be going out with them in the first place.
25:48
And if you do go out with somebody that's emotionally unstable.
25:51
That's a red flag, and you kind of need to get out of there soon.
25:54
Also, any guy that sits there and brags about his income is very insecure.
25:58
If they're bragging about their job too much and they're like,
26:01
oh, and they're telling you stories about how much money they make or how much
26:04
money they made, it's kind of a red flag.
26:07
Honestly, sometimes I feel like they're lying just to impress.
26:10
And if they do have to brag about that, it just means they're so insecure.
26:14
The goal should be to get to know a person, not to outdo somebody.
26:19
And it's not a competition on salary or anything else.
26:22
Your goal is not to be liked. It's to observe and determine if they're compatible.
26:27
Because you don't want to waste your time with someone that's not.
26:31
And then I love listening to my gut. So always do a gut check.
26:36
Do you feel safe? Did you feel seen and heard and respected?
26:39
I mean, this is huge for me. Respect is always big for me, but did they even listen to you?
26:44
Did they repeat back what you said? That's a great, sometimes I've had guys
26:49
that I go on a date with and they'll repeat back what I said,
26:51
or they'll ask more questions related to that. That means they're actually seeing you.
26:56
For me, I'm considered a sapiosexual where I'm attracted to intelligent people,
27:02
but they also have to be emotionally intelligent too.
27:04
It's not just that. And then there has to be a physical connection.
27:08
Now, I have been on a date where there was an intellectual connection,
27:12
could see a partial emotional connection, and the physical attraction wasn't so great.
27:16
But I was so intellectually attracted that I was willing to go on another date.
27:21
Intellectual attraction for
27:22
me is big. The physical, I'm not as concerned about as the intellectual.
27:27
I'd rather have a smart person that's working on themselves than have someone
27:31
in perfect condition that's a dud, that has no emotional intelligence or spiritual
27:37
intelligence or anything to offer.
27:39
You get to decide whether you want to see him again. Now, a lot of times at
27:43
the end of a date, a guy will ask you, do you want to see me again?
27:47
That's a common question. If the date went really well and you're really happy
27:52
with the date, feel free to say yes.
27:53
If the date may have gone so-so and you don't know, just say, I don't know yet.
27:59
Give me a call and we'll try to figure something out. If it was terrible, don't lie.
28:04
Don't tell them, yeah, that'd be great because then they're going to call you
28:07
and they're going to say, oh, I just wanted to set up another date.
28:11
And if the date went terrible, you don't want to waste your time with that.
28:14
Just say, you know what, I had a nice time. I'm just not feeling that there's
28:18
a fit. I mean, unless you feel like this guy's crazy and you're going to have
28:21
a problem if you tell him no to his face.
28:23
Otherwise, I think people respect it when you say, you know what? I had a nice time.
28:27
It was great coffee to have to sit down with you. I'm just not feeling that
28:30
we have a vibe or a connection.
28:32
There's nothing wrong with honesty unless, again, you think the person will snap.
28:37
So that you're going to have to feel out on your own.
28:40
Maybe you just want to tell them in a text later, thanks, I had a great time.
28:43
I'm just not feeling it. whatever works for you and whatever you feel comfortable with.
28:48
But be honest with people. There's no reason to lead people on that you're not interested in.
28:52
And then sometimes it's good also to write down, like, take notes.
28:56
I have found that some of the people I go out with on dates,
29:00
that they have qualities I like.
29:01
I'm adding all these qualities into my perfect person. Now, I don't have to
29:06
have every quality in my perfect person, but it's nice to see certain people,
29:10
what they bring to the table. And I'm learning more and more about what I enjoy.
29:15
I was married for a very long time and I was with one man for a very, very long time.
29:20
I was kind of out of touch with myself. I was out of touch with what I enjoyed,
29:25
with what I wanted to experience and what I want from a partner.
29:30
So dating for me right now is still kind of research. I'm still trying to figure out.
29:36
Everything I want. I've met several guys that were potentials that I and a couple
29:41
of them I've had a relationship with and sometimes it worked out and sometimes
29:45
it doesn't because I only date one person when I'm dating a person at a time.
29:48
But the potential is nice and I just don't know.
29:52
Sometimes you go out with a person and you go on some dates with them and it
29:56
goes really well and then it cools off.
29:59
You need a break and maybe something's going on in your life or whatever and
30:02
then you come back and you date them again.
30:05
There's nothing wrong with that, unless it just ended badly.
30:08
But sometimes that happens at our age, I will say. It's good to,
30:12
you know, allow people to have their space when they need it.
30:15
To wrap it up, I want you to not be so nervous when you go on a first date,
30:20
because it should be fun.
30:22
It should be information gathering. It should be fun for you.
30:25
It should be fun for them.
30:26
Enjoy spending time with another human being that has similar qualities to someone
30:32
that you're looking for.
30:33
And if it works out, great. If it doesn't, learn your lesson from it and find
30:38
out things in them that you want to have in your perfect partner,
30:42
in your forever partner, in the person that you want to spend the rest of your
30:45
life growing young with.
30:47
And I always say growing young because that's what I'm looking for.
30:49
I look for someone to grow young with, to have fun with, to be with for the rest of my life.
30:54
I don't want to grow old with someone because that means that you're trying
30:57
to find someone just to get old with. and I don't want to get old with anybody.
31:00
I want to get young with people.
31:02
I want to have fun. I want to enjoy my future.
31:04
I want to live life to its fullest. You decide what you want.
31:08
Hopefully, dating around and meeting different people will allow you to figure
31:13
out exactly what you want and exactly what you don't. So this is Diva Mia.
31:19
I just wanted to say I wish you the best of luck in your dating.
31:22
If you need anything, please comment below and I will respond to help you out. Have a wonderful day.
31:29
And have a wonderful day in life. Ciao, ciao. Take care. Bye-bye.
31:35
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31:40
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