Latest / Spunky Spirit with Cari Mugz / Saying Goodbye: Finding Closure and Moving Forward

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Saying Goodbye: Finding Closure and Moving Forward · Spunky Spirit with Cari Mugz

• 0:03
  Welcome to the Spunky Spirit Podcast. I'm your host, psychic medium Carrie Mugs.
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  This is where we learn all things spirit, everything from spiritual gifts,
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  awakenings, ghosts, aliens, and star seeds. Nothing is untouchable but always
• 0:19
  fun and spunky. I am honored to be on this virtual journey with you,
• 0:23
  so make sure you hit the subscribe button so you never missed an episode.
• 0:32
  Hello, Hello Spunksters, So welcome back. I missed last week and
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  you are going to find out why if you don't know already, So in
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  this podcast. Honestly, you guys, this one might be a short one,
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  just because I want to be there and I want to show up and
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  I want to be consistent. But at the same time, I thinks happen
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  in my life sometimes too, and things, you know, things just and
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  I need to learn to batch these things and make a whole bunch. But
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  then I just don't feel like they're authentic sometimes like what I'm going throughout the
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  time. So anyways, I'll figure it out. But this week, this
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  week, this week we're going to talk about you know, mediumship in general,
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  grief in general. So I kind of want to for those who don't
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  know or those who you know follow me on Instagram. My grandmother passed last
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  week and it was here's the thing. It was so crazy because for the
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  last two and a half years she has been loss of memory. When I
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  would go over there, she wouldn't really know who I was. She was
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  kind of miserable, and she was not in and out of consciousness like I
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  think she was doing things. But it was hard for me to go over
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  because because of a lot of reasons, but the you know, the people
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  surrounding her, and it just was hard. It was hard because she has
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  been almost in a way like a mother to me. She was my dad's
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  mom, and I was actually very close to her. I was the only
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  girl grandchild for a while and then and then more came, but we just
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  had a special bond. And she was also very much a gift giver,
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  and she gave me lots of stuff all the time that I think that reason
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  why that might be my love language. She didn't do that to everybody,
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  but I did find out that she did give lots of stuff to friends,
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  you know, because she knew how to make girl thinks. She knew how
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  to make girl clothes. She'd made dresses, she made dolls. She made
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  Barbie doll clothes and so and most of the grandchildren were boys, and so
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  I think everybody kind of thought that I was the favorite because her love language
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  was having gifts and I she just knew how to make girl things, and
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  so some people took offense to that. I loved her because not because she
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  gave me gifts, but because she loved me unconditionally. She there was I'm
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  gonna really make it through this podcast episode without crying. But she loved me
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  regardless, regardless of She just loved me, and I loved that about her.
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  And so the last couple of years, I would go home after visiting
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  her, and because I remember going two years ago, I went to go
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  help take care of her and she would cry at night and ask God to
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  take her, and so I and I sat. I remember laying on the
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  couch crying because it was so hard and I just wanted her to get the
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  proper care and it was just kind of a So anyways, I remember going
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  home and just being so mad at my dad because my dad passed in nineteen
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  ninety nine and my grandpa, because my grandpa passed like ten years before two.
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  And I would be so at all of her sons, all of her
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  sons were over there, and I would be so mad because I did not
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  understand why they couldn't come get her, why they couldn't come get her.
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  And so last week they did and I I thought when it happened, I
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  would be so happy and I would be so grateful, which I am because
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  I know she lives on. I do this for a living. I know
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  her spirit lives on. But I miss her even though I didn't get to
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  see even though I didn't really see her that much for two years, or
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  she didn't know who I was. But there was a moment a couple of
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  weeks before she passed that I did go over there. Hospice had told us
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  that it's getting pretty close, and just for a brief second, I knew
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  she knew who I was, And so I miss that. So even though
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  I haven't been able to see her for two years or be you know,
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  she hasn't been that person for two years, I um, I miss her.
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  I And it's so crazy because when she was alive and going through all
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  that, and I'd go over and see here, it wasn't like all the
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  memories would would pop up. But when she passed. It was like NonStop
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  memories constantly. It was it was NonStop memories of all these little things that
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  I haven't thought of for ages, and so it was it was crazy to
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  me, and I was kind of frustrated because honestly, I haven't had As
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  a medium, I deal with death on a day to day basis. Every
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  day I help people connect to their past loved ones, and you know,
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  you don't really feel like I feel it, and I feel the empathy for
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  them, and I feel the hurt, and I feel the pain because here's
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  the thing, you guys. Pain is pain. Pain is pain, and
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  it can be excruciating and it can be overwhelming, and it's so hard,
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  and pain is something all of us have felt to some degree or another or
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  some sort of loss. And so as a medium, I deal with that
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  daily and I do go home sometimes and it's really really hard. But I
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  don't think I've ever dealt with a death while I was doing in my family
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  while I was doing readings professionally, and so I was doing maybe readings on
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  the side when her husband died, but I was still working a full time
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  job at this time too, and I was just doing readings on the side,
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  and I wasn't something I did daily. It wasn't me doing something,
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  it wasn't creating. I didn't have the spiritual practice yet. And so when
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  my grandfather died and I would go see my grandma, I would feel him
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  constantly. I would feel him constantly. For some reason, I couldn't feel
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  my grandma for a week or I couldn't communicate with her for a week,
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  and I was getting kind of frustrated, and I was like, here,
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  I am this medium and I can't connect to her. I can't connect her.
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  And it was the craziest thing, because spirit it's all about spirits timing
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  right, and it's also very accurate too, spirits showing me that, you
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  know, mediums can even have a hard time connecting to their family. So
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  when people come to me for readings and say I can't feel them, I
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  don't understand why are they around? I get it. I need to understand
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  that I need to have that empathy with them, and I need to understand
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  that better because sometimes I'll be like, well, look for this and look
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  for this science. So I sat down and said, here, you gotta
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  look for these signs. And I'm not kidding you. In the middle of
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  doing Carrie Connects, a bird came and landed on my window and looked directly
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  at me in the middle of Carrie Connects, and I knew that was my
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  grandma. I knew she was there. She and I have to be honest
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  to you guys, my grandma was very kind of religious towards the end,
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  not during her life. It's so crazy and this was why a lot of
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  times. But so she didn't really know what I did. She didn't really
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  know that I was an actual psychic medium. She kind of thought I was
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  more of a life coach. So and it's not that I wasn't proud of
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  it, It's just I knew she wouldn't understand it. There was somebody else
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  in the family who did energy work, and my grandma thought it was kind
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  of would she talked about how it was anyway, so I it wasn't something
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  we talked about. We talked about other things. So anyways, I it
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  was like she came and said, I know what you do. I love
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  you, and this is amazing. And then after that bird came in the
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  window, It's like I felt her all week long. Every morning it was
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  she would come and we would have conversations. I was even looking for a
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  picture that the family needed for some of the displays for her few gal and
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  I couldn't find it, and I was like, texts and my kids,
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  do you know where these already? You know where this is? Nobody?
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  And then one morning, when I was talking to her or having feeling her
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  there, I heard her say, look in the pictures of your dad.
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  So I have this little stash of pictures with my dad that I didn't even
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  think of because the particular picture I was looking for didn't was it. It
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  was of my wedding dress. And because my grandma had made my wedding dress
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  in my very first marriage and I had gotten rid of all of my pictures
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  from my first wedding, I didn't even think about the wedding dress pictures or
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  anything like that. So she said, go look in your dad's pictures,
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  and I give you not. I went in looked at my dad's pictures,
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  and in one of the pictures was a picture of me in my wedding dress
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  that my grandmother made with my dad. So we used that. And she
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  has been around since then, and I've been able to feel her and talk
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  to her, but it's still very hard. It's still very emotional, it's
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  still very um and I think that sometimes it's a good reminder as a medium
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  what people go through in the grief stage. I mean, I knew because
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  I had had lost I'd lost my dad, I lost my grand I lost
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  my other grandparents, I lost my other grandfather. But I since I've been
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  practicing spiritual this, since I've been doing this full time, I really haven't
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  experienced it this, this to this severity. And so and I'm not saying
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  it happens for a reason. I'm just saying that it's good for me too.
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  It's a good reminder. It's a good reminder of what people are going
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  through and and what I you know, this is really what I do matters,
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  what you do, matters, what we all do matters. M But
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  sometimes I feel like I wonder, you know, everybody does, right.
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  So I thought it was interesting too that during this time I read this article
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  that said in the Lakota Lakota tradition, a person who is grieving is considered
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  the most wakened and the most holy. There's a sense that when someone is
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  struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold
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  of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong
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  and in its proper, and it is proper to ask them for their help.
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  You might recall what it's like to be with someone who has grieved deeply.
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  The person has a layer of The person has no layer of protection,
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  nothing left to defend. They are open. The mystery is looking out through
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  that person's eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the
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  reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping to the future.
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  In the groundless opening of sorrow, there is a wholeness of a presence
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  and a deep natural wisdom. And I really really felt that. I really
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  feel like when people are in a sense of grief or this pain, they're
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  completely open. They have nothing left to loose, they have nothing like the
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  little things don't matter anymore, the drama doesn't matter. What matters is how
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  you live your life and the legacy that you live and how you And I
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  don't want to say how you are remembered, because it's really not anybody's judgment
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  of how how you're reremembered. But I do know my grandma was an amazing
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  person and she makes me want to be a better person. She was a
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  county treasure in a time when it was a man man dominated world. She
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  was so so in my eyes, she was so nice to everybody. And
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  from what I've heard other people say, she was so nice to them.
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  Now there's been other people that say she was that she in my family.
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  That wouldn't that, that wouldn't agree. But that just goes to show that
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  nobody's perfect, right, nobody is perfect and everybody you just have a connection
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  to some people, and everybody has different connections to different people. And so
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  so I just know that grief, I think through this thing that I've learned
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  to is grief is powerful. And when you are in grief, you are
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  at your core, you are defenseless, you are almost sometimes you can feel
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  like it's rock bottom, like you just know, like and I guess that's
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  the part where it says the person has now layer of protection, nothing left
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  to defend. And I really felt that, like I really felt, I
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  really felt that. And so how do you you know saying goodbye? I
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  you know, lots of people come through in readings and say I'm so glad
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  you were there to say goodbye, and then other spirits come through and say,
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  I know you weren't there to say goodbye, and that's okay. They
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  know, they know we tried, they know our circumstances, they know you
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  know they know. So I know that my grandma knows that even though I
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  wasn't there while she was passing, I know she knows my intention and I
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  know she knows that that because of the circumstances, I did the best I
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  could. And I just want you to know, if you're listening to this,
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  they know. They know you're doing the best you can. They know
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  you grieve for them, they know you are trying to move forward. They
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  know you're trying to find closure, and if you didn't get to say goodbye,
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  then that's okay because that's you don't have to to find closure because you
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  can. They're still there. Energy is infinite. Just because they don't have
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  a body doesn't mean they don't exist. They will always and forever exist just
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  like you. They're just they're not even in a different place. We have
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  this concept that they're in a different place and they're just at a different frequency.
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  They're still around us, just a different frequency. And I know some
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  mediums are like, well, they need permission to come see us, or
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  they need this or that, And I don't believe that. I believe that
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  they're always they're with us, and they're at a different frequency. Now.
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  I do believe though, that sometimes they cannot interfere with our lives because we
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  have a blueprint that we want and that we wanted to experience and it needs
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  to play out a certain way, and then they can't interfere with that.
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  So we can ask them and they can be with us, and they can
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  protect us and love us and shield us and try and help us through it,
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  but they can't change some of it. So and I do know that
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  sometimes I think one a couple of times it has been harder for me to
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  communicate with some spirits during readings than others. But I don't know if that's
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  because they were harder to communicate with or it was because they couldn't interfere with
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  the situation. And that's the thing about this, We never really know,
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  right, we don't really know. Any medium can give you their opinion,
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  but at the end of the day, nobody really knows. It can't be
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  proven. It's not science. It's I mean, some of it is science,
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  but it's just like it's everybody's different opinion of why things happen. And
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  so I do, from the bottom of my heart know that they still exist
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  and they are with you. Sometimes they do feel farther away from you then
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  normal. Just like when my grandma first passed, the first week, I
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  didn't really feel her very much, but then the second like within the second
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  week, it was like amazing overflow. And what was she doing that week?
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  Could she just was I supposed to learn a lesson? Was I supposed
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  to understand how grieving people felt so she couldn't show up? Or was she
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  helping some other people in the family, And so her frequency wasn't as strong
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  with me as other people because they can be with more than one person in
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  the family. But she might have been like, you know, fifty percent
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  with my aunts and like ten percent with me at the time because they needed
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  me more. We will never know. But the important thing is is she
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  did end up showing up right when I needed her, right when I needed
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  her too, and when she could. And so the thing is is I
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  know now. I mean I felt so guilty because part of that two years
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  I was very seldom there because of the things that were going on over because
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  of the things that were happening, and because it was so hard for me
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  to see her going through that and not being and having her not remember who
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  I was. But now I know she is good. She is in a
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  good place. She's with my grandpa, she's with all her sons, she's
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  with her mom, she's with her dad, and she is moving forward.
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  So she wouldn't want me to be stuck and not move forward because of it.
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  So so that is if you're having a hard time and you're a hard
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  time because you didn't get to say goodbye, or there's or you did get
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  to say goodbye, but there's still some closure, just remember they want you
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  don't feel guilty about moving forward. They want you to move forward. They
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  want you to be happy. They don't want you to sit and be stuck
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  and cry. It's okay to do that. It is okay to do that
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  because there is no time limma on grief and there is no book on how
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  to do it. But at the end of the day, they want you
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  to move forward and to be happy. That doesn't mean you forget him,
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  that doesn't mean you don't remember the good times. It just means that their
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  passing doesn't stop you from living. And so I think that this was a
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  good lesson for me. And I'm I wasn't grateful for it, and I
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  can't really say that I am grateful for it, but I know one day
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  I will be. And I kind of am grateful because at the end of
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  the day, I am glad she is. She deserved better, she deserved
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  to be she she's in a better place and she is so happy. And
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  and but here's the thing, you guys, just because she is a better
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  place, and I've had a couple of people say, well, she's in
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  a better place. This was a good thing, true, but it didn't
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  make it easier. It didn't make it easier. So so you know,
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  be really, it's so hard to know what to say to people when someone
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  they love us past it really, really is the best thing to do is
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  say I'm sorry, I'm sorry for your loss, and and let them talk
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  about that person. Don't be afraid to bring that person up. Don't be
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  afraid because they love that memory of the person. And even I've been guilty
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  of this too, because I've had you know, when people say it was
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  better off or it was they were miserable here or they were sick. And
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  I get that, I do, but it just doesn't make it any easier
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  because something triggers, something happens when they actually do pass, and it's it's
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  just that thought of you not ever being able to talk to them again physically
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  on this earth is something that just makes it so so real. And and
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  the thing about it is is it's harder. It does get, it does
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  get. I can't really say it gets easier with time, because I don't
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  think that it does with some. It might with some, it does.
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  It just it just the pain isn't as unbearing after time. I guess it's
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  still always there and it's just the pain isn't so consuming. So yeah,
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  I didn't mean to make this about me, but honestly, this is my
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  podcast, and you guys, this is what's going on in my life.
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  And I just really didn't have time this week to look for to research out
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  a different topic, and so this is what you get. You get a
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  part of a look into my personal life and what mediums go through when they
• 21:45
  lose a loved one. It's just because their mediums doesn't mean it's all easy,
• 21:51
  peasy, lemon squeezy, because it doesn't mean that they get to chat
• 21:53
  with them every day still and they still watch because it is really you know,
• 21:59
  mediums for them to connect to their own family. It is a little
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  harder just because they are so close to it and so um, they still
• 22:07
  go through the emotions and the pain. I had to, I really,
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  you know, I had to cancel two days of readings, which was six
• 22:15
  readings and I didn't have anywhere to reschedule them because I'm booked out for about
• 22:21
  five or six months, and so that was hard too, and but you
• 22:23
  know what, it worked out. It was so crazy how it worked out,
• 22:26
  how opening showed up, and it was crazy. So anyways, I
• 22:30
  just want you guys to know that we all feel pain. It's it's a
• 22:41
  universal thing. Pain is pain, and it doesn't matter. You know,
• 22:47
  sometimes pain for me, my pain when my gramdma passes could be a different
• 22:52
  pain for you when your gramdma passes. Pain for when my dad passes could
• 22:56
  be different from when you know. It's there's no measurement. There's no measurement
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  of who has more pain because we all have different pain tolerances. So just
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  know that grief is when someone in is grief, when someone is in grief.
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  They are they are at their most holy, they're at their most at
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  their core, they have they are so protected by spirits around, by spirits
• 23:34
  outside and angels because they're ripped apart. So be kind, Be kind to
• 23:45
  people because you never know what they're going through. So with that, I
• 23:52
  also want you to remember too that you are so magical and you are so
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  powerful, and words can lift people up or they can bring people down.
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  So be careful about what you say to people, especially people who are grieving,
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  and be okay when people accidentally say things that maybe aren't the greatest when
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  you're grieving, be open and have empathy. And I love you guys so
• 24:22
  much, and I will see you next week. If you liked this episode
• 24:30
  of Smoky Spirit, please subscribe button so you never miss an episode.