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#1643 Intentional Living - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I got aw you Bloody Champs, Craig Ethie hap Ti.
0:04
Speaker 1: Tiffo over there at Bloody typ Central just been inhaling
0:09
Speaker 1: another form of chocolate, deluding herself that she's not having
0:13
Speaker 1: chocolate because she's drinking it. She's doing seventy five hard,
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Speaker 1: which she's doing let's say seventy five seventy five soft.
0:23
Speaker 1: She's doing so seventy five hard. If you haven't heard,
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Speaker 1: I'm not an expert, but it's programmed that people do
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Speaker 1: for seventy five days where they essentially challenge themselves to
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Speaker 1: get out of their comfort zone and lean into some
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Speaker 1: growth and some resilience and some kind of light bulb
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Speaker 1: moments where they kind of design their own program to
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Speaker 1: appoint tiff has been doing that. What is your update
0:47
Speaker 1: before we get underway with our topic, dujeu.
0:52
Speaker 2: When I recently spoke at an event, I was talking
0:55
Speaker 2: about resilience, and one of the points I made was
1:00
Speaker 2: sometimes it gets to a point in resilience where doing
1:03
Speaker 2: the hard thing is actually not doing the hard thing.
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Speaker 2: So when it comes to seventy five hard in terms
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Speaker 2: of the training, which would normally be my favorite part,
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Speaker 2: the idea was to find a way to stay moving
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Speaker 2: every day, but not train hard because this year has
1:18
Speaker 2: been a bit of a fucking disaster with energy and
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Speaker 2: recovery and fatigue and all of the things. So really
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Speaker 2: good habits. It got me into a just a nice
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Speaker 2: routine of committing it to a new style of thing
1:34
Speaker 2: and setting a new routine and habit around that. It
1:37
Speaker 2: got me off eating junkie chocolates seventy eight times a day.
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Speaker 2: It's cost me a fortune because now I've gone and
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Speaker 2: bought you know, I bought three kilos of ceremonial grade cackau.
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Speaker 2: I don't know if that's just a fucking another thing
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Speaker 2: that they gibb you on. But that shit's more expensive
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Speaker 2: than I don't know, it's a lot. It's like one
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Speaker 2: hundred bucks of kilo, bro, But I bought it in bulk.
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Speaker 1: I bought three, kid and hang on, let me just
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Speaker 1: wheel that term out. Let me think about that ceremonial
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Speaker 1: grade cocw.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds like a fucking scam right there, I know,
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Speaker 2: but it is delicious.
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Speaker 1: Well, then are you not just replacing one kind of
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Speaker 1: chocolate for another? Because co cow is the core ingredient
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Speaker 1: of chocolate, isn't it.
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Speaker 2: I'm not eating the junk we're reading junk. I'm not
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Speaker 2: eating the old bloody cabri bars every time I get
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Speaker 2: out and pass a supermarket and find a reason to
2:30
Speaker 2: go in just so I.
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Speaker 1: Can't get worse.
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Speaker 2: It's actually Wittkers, not cabridges, the little wittkers, because they're
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Speaker 2: porsch and controlled. Like a fifty forty five grand bar,
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Speaker 2: I normally get two, so I may as well just
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Speaker 2: buy a big blockle lint.
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Speaker 1: Really, because cocw is kind of tasteless and bland. So
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Speaker 1: what's making it so yummy?
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Speaker 2: Not put a little bit honey in it?
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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right.
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Speaker 2: This point is though, Harps, that's the that's the only
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Speaker 2: thing that has any sweet in my Like, I don't
3:02
Speaker 2: think you understand how much of my day was like
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Speaker 2: if you just was to follow my blood sugar.
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Speaker 1: Trends, there's definitely another, definitely another source of sweetness in
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Speaker 1: your life, and you're talking to it and it's calorie free.
3:14
Speaker 1: Fucking hell. I'm like, I'm like the ultimate sweetener with
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Speaker 1: no guilt, no guilt, no calories. I don't affect your
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Speaker 1: blood sugar. I'm not fucking up your pancris or your
3:27
Speaker 1: insulin levels. You're welcome, that's true.
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Speaker 2: That's sweet poison.
3:33
Speaker 1: Hey yeah, probably probably so on the weekend, as you know,
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Speaker 1: you know, Tiff that all our listeners don't know, but
3:42
Speaker 1: half do. I guess I did. I ran a workshop
3:45
Speaker 1: in Melbs. We're recording this Thursday, and one of the
3:49
Speaker 1: things that we spoke about a lot was the idea
3:53
Speaker 1: of I didn't use this term, but this is the
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Speaker 1: term I'm going to use today because it's the same,
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Speaker 1: and the idea is intentional living. And what I mean
4:05
Speaker 1: by that is, well, we spoke a lot about the
4:09
Speaker 1: idea of getting out of the groundhog Danus, which has
4:12
Speaker 1: been a reoccurring theme on this show. But nonetheless, there
4:16
Speaker 1: are still a lot of us who keep doing things
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Speaker 1: that don't work because we've done them habitually. It's hardwired
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Speaker 1: into our subconscious operating system, our behavioral operating system. You know,
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Speaker 1: so many of us. And this is not self loathing.
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Speaker 1: This is self awareness. We eat shit we know as
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Speaker 1: bad for us. We do things that are done for
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Speaker 1: our health. We make decisions and then take actions which
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Speaker 1: a form of self limitation or self destruction or toxic behavior.
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Speaker 1: We know that I've done it tif's done it. You've
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Speaker 1: done it, listener. And so the idea, this is the
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Speaker 1: idea of of moving towards a life, a reality and existence,
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Speaker 1: an operating system that is more conscious and intentional, that
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Speaker 1: is more strategic, that is more planned, that is more
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Speaker 1: reflective of and consistent with who you actually really want
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Speaker 1: to be and how you really want to be what
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Speaker 1: really matters to me, and does my life reflect the
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Speaker 1: things that I say are very important, like my values,
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Speaker 1: like my beliefs, like my future goals, like the lifestyle,
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Speaker 1: the healthy lifestyle that I want in all of that.
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Speaker 1: So a couple of things. I'm just going to launch
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Speaker 1: this with tith and then you just jump in. So
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Speaker 1: I asked doctor Google how they define intentional living. So
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Speaker 1: I'm going to read that it's not terrible, and then
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Speaker 1: I'm going to define it much more succinctly and I
5:45
Speaker 1: think more effectively. But that could just be my ego bucket, right,
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Speaker 1: So here's here's doctor Google. I know, actually this is chatters.
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Speaker 1: This is chat GPT. You're welcome, my third best friend
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Speaker 1: chat GPT. You're welcome. You're in the top ten. I
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Speaker 1: don't want to tell your position because the other people in.
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Speaker 2: The top ten, t is higher than me.
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Speaker 1: That is, I said you're in the I didn't say
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Speaker 1: you're not in the top two. I'm saying you're in
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Speaker 1: the top ten. Because of my insecure friends want to
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Speaker 1: know where they are.
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Speaker 2: I am one of those insecure friends.
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Speaker 1: Intentional living is a lifestyle philosophy where individuals make conscious,
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Speaker 1: deliberate choices that align with their values, goals, and purpose
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Speaker 1: instead of living on also pilot or reacting passively to circumstances.
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Speaker 1: That is basically my version of that is letting you
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Speaker 1: know your life, your situation, your circumstance write the story
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Speaker 1: for you. Those who practice intentional living focus on taking
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Speaker 1: control of their lives by setting meaningful priorities, creating habits
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Speaker 1: that support their vision, and making decisions that lead to
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Speaker 1: personal growth and fulfillment. That's a bit fluffy, and yeah,
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Speaker 1: it's in the ballpark, though. It's about living with purpose
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Speaker 1: and clarity, yep. Ensuring that everyday actions reflect long term
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Speaker 1: desires and principles. That's a really good sentence, ensuring that,
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Speaker 1: so what we do today is a reflection of, or
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Speaker 1: an alignment with our long term desires, goals, principles, values,
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Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. This approach can lead, Sorry,
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Speaker 1: this approach can influence all areas of life, from relationships
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Speaker 1: and career choices to health and spirituality, leading to greatest
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Speaker 1: satisfaction and a sense of meaning. That's kind of predictable,
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Speaker 1: and it's in the ballpark. But here's my very succinc
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Speaker 1: definition of intentional living. Intentional living is living on purpose
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Speaker 1: and in purpose. I'm just going to say it again
7:49
Speaker 1: for those of you taking notes living on purpose in
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Speaker 1: other words, you're doing shit on purpose, not unconsciously, and
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Speaker 1: you're living in purpose. That is the purpose that you
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Speaker 1: want for your life. So I'm going to break it down.
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Speaker 1: So for me, living on purpose means that I am conscious, intentional,
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Speaker 1: and strategic about the way I live. My life is
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Speaker 1: not an unintended, unplanned or unconscious process or outcome. And
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Speaker 1: for me, living in purpose means that the way I
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Speaker 1: live is a reflection of my values, morals, ethics, beliefs
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Speaker 1: and goals. I'm going to post this somewhere. I might
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Speaker 1: put it up on facy or in the group, or
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Speaker 1: but I just think that that I'm going to say
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Speaker 1: it once more. So for me, living on purpose means
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Speaker 1: that I am conscious, intentional, and strategic about the way
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Speaker 1: I live. My life is not accidental, unintended, unplanned, or unconscious,
8:44
Speaker 1: and for me, living in purpose means that the way
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Speaker 1: I live is a reflection of my values, morals, ethics, beliefs,
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Speaker 1: and goals over arching goals. So with that in mind,
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Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook, I thought, I'm we might make this
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Speaker 1: and you jump in or out as much as you want.
9:03
Speaker 1: I know, I'm going to drive it, but I'd love
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Speaker 1: your contribution questions thoughts. So my not very popular opinion
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Speaker 1: in the time where everyone's triggered by everything and people
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Speaker 1: get offended sixty that yeah, I know, I know, and
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Speaker 1: I understand, I understand. It's all okay. And a time
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Speaker 1: where people get, you know, offended because the wind blew.
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Speaker 1: I'm just going to say what I think. I'm going
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Speaker 1: to say what I think and fuck it and it's
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Speaker 1: not anything horrible. But this is my observation and experience. Sorry,
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Speaker 1: most people are living unintentional, unconscious, and out of alignment lives.
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Speaker 1: That is, to a point, they are unconscious passengers in
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Speaker 1: their own life. So, which is not to say that
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Speaker 1: we never make the decisions or we never take conscious actions,
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Speaker 1: but at least a portion of the time. Nearly everyone
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Speaker 1: I've ever met, including myself and even myself right now,
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Speaker 1: that my life is not one hundred percent you know,
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Speaker 1: on purpose and in purpose. That would that would be
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Speaker 1: an exercise in ego. If I said that it was,
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Speaker 1: it isn't. I think it's mostly on and in purpose.
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Speaker 1: But there are times when ego hijacks the fucking situation
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Speaker 1: or insecurity or self doubt or laziness or whatever it is.
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Speaker 1: And of course there's going to be that perpetual humanity
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Speaker 1: to my life, right that's never going away. But what
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Speaker 1: I'm trying to do is I'm trying to turn down
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Speaker 1: the volume on the unconscious and turn up the volume
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Speaker 1: and the focus on the conscious, the intentional, the purposeful
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Speaker 1: way of existing. So you know, so many people, We've
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Speaker 1: said this a lot, Tiff, but so many people wake
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Speaker 1: up in inverted commas and say, this wasn't this wasn't
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Speaker 1: how I thought it would be, or this wasn't my plan,
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Speaker 1: or this wasn't my intention. And sometimes you know, shit
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Speaker 1: happens beyond our control, of course, uh and with everybody,
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Speaker 1: all of us, utif Metiff and all of our listeners,
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Speaker 1: there will be things that happen in our life that
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Speaker 1: we didn't want, that we didn't plan, that are sad,
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Speaker 1: that a tragic, that are catastrophic. We get all of that.
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Speaker 1: We're not denying that, and we're not pretending that life
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Speaker 1: is a fucking Disney movie or a sitcom or a
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Speaker 1: rom com, because it's not. Sometimes life succumt We know that.
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Speaker 1: We know that, but that is part of the human experience.
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Speaker 1: And so in the middle of the shipfest, the mess,
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Speaker 1: the mayhem, the unpleasantness, the unplanned, the uncertain, the unfamiliar,
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Speaker 1: which is everyone's life at some stage, in the middle
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Speaker 1: of all of that, we need to focus on what
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Speaker 1: we can control. So what I can What am I
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Speaker 1: doing about living in alignment with my values, goals, police, faith, right?
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Speaker 1: What am I doing about the things that are in
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Speaker 1: my control? What is in my control today? What I
12:19
Speaker 1: put in my mouth? What is in my control today?
12:23
Speaker 1: How I talk to people? What is in my control
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Speaker 1: today is whether or not I spend money on shit
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Speaker 1: I don't need or not. What is in my control
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Speaker 1: today not easy, but in my control is my self.
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Speaker 1: Talk is how I talk to me. I'm a fucking idiot, No,
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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm flawed, but
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Speaker 1: I'm not a fucking idiot. I could be better, I
12:49
Speaker 1: could do better, but I'm not a fucking idiot because
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Speaker 1: I produce some good outcomes. Am I silly at times? Yes?
12:55
Speaker 1: Am I brilliant at times? Rarely but on occasion? Okay? Right?
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Speaker 1: Am I? You know I'm periodically fuck Sometimes I take
13:03
Speaker 1: my own breath away. I'm like, fucking hell, that was genius.
13:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, huck, jump back and kiss myself. You know,
13:10
Speaker 1: it's like, what can I do with my time today? Like?
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Speaker 1: Am I in control of my time? Yes, there's going
13:18
Speaker 1: to be certain requirements and certain on negotiables. I get it,
13:21
Speaker 1: I get it, But that's not all fourteen hundred and
13:24
Speaker 1: forty minutes of your day. So what what can I do?
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Speaker 1: You know, with the time that I have available? And
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Speaker 1: what about my energy? What am I spending my Am
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Speaker 1: I intentional with my energy? Or am I spending two
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Speaker 1: hours a day fucking transfixed by scrolling on bullshit? That
13:45
Speaker 1: really makes my life worse because it's two hours that
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Speaker 1: I could have invested into consciously creating, designing, refining and
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Speaker 1: improving my situation, my life, my health, my relationships, my career.
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Speaker 1: It's two hours. I can never reclaim it's gone. But
14:04
Speaker 1: what can I do for the rest of today after
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Speaker 1: this podcast? Can I make a phone call? Can I
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Speaker 1: make a decision? Can I decide what I focus on
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Speaker 1: and pay attention to for the rest of today and
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Speaker 1: tomorrow and this week? Yes? I can. So that is
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Speaker 1: conscious intentional living. And what about even I've been thinking
14:28
Speaker 1: about this one lately. And this is going to sound
14:31
Speaker 1: a bit weird and deep, but I've been trying to
14:33
Speaker 1: figure out because I grew up, as you know, TIF
14:35
Speaker 1: and as most of our listeners know, like in a
14:37
Speaker 1: very kind of you know god ye kind of construct
14:42
Speaker 1: you know, religious lots of church, so that kind of
14:45
Speaker 1: I guess that intersection of religion and spirituality and God
14:49
Speaker 1: and all that faith based living. And while some of
14:54
Speaker 1: that wasn't good, some of it was. And I believe,
15:00
Speaker 1: like anything, there are pros and cons to everything. So lately,
15:05
Speaker 1: one of the things I've been thinking about for me
15:07
Speaker 1: not something that I want to stand on a platform
15:09
Speaker 1: and preach or teach, because I'm figuring this out for me,
15:14
Speaker 1: but I've been thinking about what is you know I
15:20
Speaker 1: spoke about I'll come back to what I was going
15:23
Speaker 1: to say, but I spoke about on the weekend. I
15:25
Speaker 1: spoke about these eight steps that I've spoken to you about,
15:27
Speaker 1: starting with self reflection and self awareness, then self acceptance
15:32
Speaker 1: and self knowledge through to the second last one is
15:34
Speaker 1: self actualization. And the last one on this process of
15:38
Speaker 1: trying to understand me, understand yourself is self transcendence. And
15:43
Speaker 1: self transcendence is essentially the idea of having a purpose
15:51
Speaker 1: and a focus bigger than you, and where our attention
15:56
Speaker 1: and our love and our energy to go out with
16:02
Speaker 1: no expectation of anything in return, with no hooks, catches agendas,
16:08
Speaker 1: with no strategy, no strategy. And so for me, this
16:12
Speaker 1: is this is part of the dichotomy because I, you know,
16:16
Speaker 1: I do this. This is part of my job. I
16:19
Speaker 1: do corporate gigs, that's part of my job. I coach people,
16:24
Speaker 1: I do workshops part of my job. But I also
16:27
Speaker 1: I think probably about twenty percent, maybe twenty thirty percent
16:33
Speaker 1: of my work in inverted commas, I get paid zero
16:36
Speaker 1: for right which and it's not really work. It's just
16:41
Speaker 1: time and energy that I choose to invest into helping people.
16:45
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying this to sound good, but this
16:47
Speaker 1: is part of my spiritual commitment of having a purpose
16:50
Speaker 1: bigger than me. So, you know, so when I think
16:54
Speaker 1: about am I living intentionally? Like? Do I like to
16:57
Speaker 1: think that I'm a good person? I like to think that,
17:02
Speaker 1: But what the fuck does that even mean? What does
17:04
Speaker 1: that mean? Like, of course my ego wants to think
17:08
Speaker 1: I'm a good person, but beyond the ego and the
17:10
Speaker 1: brand and beyond Craig Harper saying on a podcast to
17:13
Speaker 1: thousands of people, right, am I actually a good person? Like?
17:18
Speaker 1: Not the idea and not that. Oh I guess what
17:20
Speaker 1: else I do?
17:21
Speaker 2: People?
17:21
Speaker 1: Oh, you know, it's like you know, the humble brag. Well,
17:26
Speaker 1: there's no fucking humility at all. So for me, one
17:30
Speaker 1: of the things I've been thinking about is, you know,
17:32
Speaker 1: what is that? What is having a spiritual journey or
17:35
Speaker 1: a spiritual aspect to who I am? What does that
17:39
Speaker 1: mean for me? And while I don't and I could
17:43
Speaker 1: be going a little bit deep here, but this is
17:45
Speaker 1: very intentional and for me, this is very for me.
17:49
Speaker 1: It might not be for a lot of you listeners,
17:51
Speaker 1: and that's okay, maybe you're maybe it's interesting to hear
17:55
Speaker 1: how I think for me or not. But like I
18:00
Speaker 1: know that the good stuff that I took away from
18:02
Speaker 1: my very extensive life in church was the love stuff,
18:09
Speaker 1: which is which is kindness, which is quality time, which
18:15
Speaker 1: is service, which is to an extent, you know, denying myself,
18:21
Speaker 1: like inconveniencing myself and not because there's, like I said,
18:26
Speaker 1: a round of applause or an accolade and you know,
18:29
Speaker 1: like my whole kind of over the last ten years
18:33
Speaker 1: where we've spoken the last five six years on this show,
18:36
Speaker 1: but more broadly, I get asked a lot about religion
18:39
Speaker 1: and God and what I think. And it's hard because
18:43
Speaker 1: we're talking about stuff for which we have no absolute
18:46
Speaker 1: proof or evidence. You know, the whole God thing is
18:48
Speaker 1: a faith thing, right. Faith is believing in something you
18:51
Speaker 1: can't prove, because if we had proof or absolute knowledge
18:57
Speaker 1: or data, then the need for faith becomes redundant because
19:02
Speaker 1: now we've got unequivocal evidence. And so for me, you know,
19:06
Speaker 1: we talk about all the things I mentioned, lifestyle and
19:09
Speaker 1: career and relationships and all of those things, and health.
19:14
Speaker 1: But yeah, for me lately, I've been you know, what
19:17
Speaker 1: is my intention and what is my conscious process around
19:22
Speaker 1: being not just a good person for me, so that
19:26
Speaker 1: I'm kicking goals and I'm winning, but so that I
19:29
Speaker 1: am genuinely a good person for others to be around,
19:34
Speaker 1: you know. So I think that like all of these.
19:37
Speaker 1: So I'll jump out of that now because I was
19:39
Speaker 1: probably boring everyone. But you know, so the list that
19:42
Speaker 1: I've done is this. You might want to write this down,
19:45
Speaker 1: hit the pause button and come back to this. I'll
19:46
Speaker 1: shut up and you can talk after this. TIF. So
19:50
Speaker 1: here's a list of things I wrote. Am I intentional
19:53
Speaker 1: with my Am I intentional with my lifestyle? One? How
20:00
Speaker 1: I live, sleep, exercise, booze, socializing, the way I put
20:06
Speaker 1: it all together. Am I intentional with my lifestyle? Two?
20:10
Speaker 1: Am I intentional with? Am I conscious about? Am I
20:14
Speaker 1: proactive with my relationships? Or do I just kind of
20:21
Speaker 1: coexist in unhealthy, toxic, somewhat destructive, somewhat pointless relationships because
20:29
Speaker 1: fuck it, you know. And by the way, I'm not
20:31
Speaker 1: directing anyone or advising anyone to do anything, but I
20:35
Speaker 1: know for me, there are there's even a few relationships,
20:40
Speaker 1: you know, not close intimate ones, that there are relationships
20:44
Speaker 1: or kind of almost like by situation, not design, relationships
20:51
Speaker 1: in my life that I either need to end, shut
20:54
Speaker 1: the door on or I need to change the way
20:57
Speaker 1: that I operate in the context of that relationship so
21:00
Speaker 1: that so that I'm more intentional, because not every relationship
21:04
Speaker 1: that we have, and it doesn't mean that everything's got
21:07
Speaker 1: to be strategic and amazing and beneficial for you, Like
21:11
Speaker 1: there are a lot of one way relationships that well
21:15
Speaker 1: not well, there's a number of it's not one way,
21:18
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of relationships where I do most
21:20
Speaker 1: of the giving. And I'm okay with that because I
21:25
Speaker 1: think that that's the right thing right. Next one on
21:30
Speaker 1: my list is am I intentional with my career? With
21:33
Speaker 1: my career? Am I designing my career? Am I? Am
21:38
Speaker 1: I making decisions and taking actions? Is today me? Is
21:43
Speaker 1: today me making decisions that tomorrow me will be happy with?
21:49
Speaker 1: Is today me making decisions and doing things that tomorrow
21:52
Speaker 1: me and next week me will be happy with and
21:56
Speaker 1: grateful for? My Next my next one is am I
22:03
Speaker 1: intentional with my personal growth journey? Am I genuinely putting
22:09
Speaker 1: myself in situations, environments, and circumstances where I will grow,
22:17
Speaker 1: Where I am developing skill, understanding awareness. It could be
22:21
Speaker 1: a literal academic environment where you're improving yourself academically, or
22:28
Speaker 1: it could just be in a situation where you're uncomfortable.
22:33
Speaker 1: It could be you enrolling and doing jiu jitsu and going, fuck,
22:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to go and learn a skill. I'm going
22:38
Speaker 1: to get fitter and stronger, learn how to defend myself,
22:41
Speaker 1: and I'm going to learn how to be more confident
22:45
Speaker 1: and competent doing something that right now, fucking it could
22:48
Speaker 1: be anything that for you is a form of growth.
22:55
Speaker 1: My next one is I've got five to go. My
22:57
Speaker 1: next one is, am I intentional with my skill development?
23:02
Speaker 1: Am I intentionally developing skills? So for me, that would
23:07
Speaker 1: be am I becoming a better writer? Am I? Am
23:11
Speaker 1: I becoming a better podcast? Am I becoming? You know?
23:15
Speaker 1: On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, I did three quite big
23:21
Speaker 1: public facing gigs and you said to me yesterday TIF
23:25
Speaker 1: on the phone and I had to rush off. You
23:27
Speaker 1: know what's changed because I said they all went really well,
23:30
Speaker 1: and well, maybe unpacked that in a bit. But what
23:33
Speaker 1: I love is, while I still have a long way
23:35
Speaker 1: to go and I will always be a work in progress,
23:38
Speaker 1: I know that as objective as I could be, I
23:42
Speaker 1: could be wrong, But I feel like anyway, And I'm
23:45
Speaker 1: the biggest critic of me, but i feel like I've
23:48
Speaker 1: never been better at my job and I'm sixty. And
23:51
Speaker 1: I think that gives people that are younger than sixty,
23:54
Speaker 1: which is you by twenty years, Tiff. I think that
23:56
Speaker 1: gives people hope. And I think, you know what, at
23:59
Speaker 1: s sixty, at seventy, at fifty, we can get better.
24:03
Speaker 1: We can, but we're not going to accidentally get better.
24:06
Speaker 1: So am I intentionally learning? Am I intentionally developing new skills?
24:13
Speaker 1: Am I intentionally? What's that anterior mid singulate cortex that
24:19
Speaker 1: part of the brain that Schuberman talks about. Am anterior
24:24
Speaker 1: mid singulate amcc am I, am I? What does that mean?
24:30
Speaker 1: That means there's a part of the brain, folks that
24:32
Speaker 1: when we do hard things, it literally grows, It develops
24:37
Speaker 1: new neural pathways, and it is literally you training your
24:41
Speaker 1: brain to become stronger like you would train your shoulders
24:45
Speaker 1: to become stronger in the gym. And when you do
24:48
Speaker 1: the hard thing in the gym, your muscles grow. And
24:50
Speaker 1: when you do the hard thing that might be the
24:53
Speaker 1: hard emotional or psychological thing, this part of your brain grows.
24:57
Speaker 1: How fucking exciting is that tif you want to jump in.
25:01
Speaker 2: No, I was just on that. I was listening to
25:03
Speaker 2: a podcast this morning and they referred to human on that.
25:06
Speaker 2: But the note they made is doing things against you,
25:10
Speaker 2: Wilso even doing the hard thing in the gym is
25:13
Speaker 2: by choice. So there's a difference as well as doing
25:17
Speaker 2: things by choice that are hard. Right, Yes, not necessarily
25:22
Speaker 2: by choice.
25:24
Speaker 1: I've consciously lately been paying way more attention, like twenty
25:31
Speaker 1: four to seven to the propensity that I have to
25:36
Speaker 1: in the moment take the easy option, like I'm about
25:41
Speaker 1: to take the easy and it could be even like this.
25:44
Speaker 1: Last night, I ate dinner at this desk where I
25:48
Speaker 1: am right now, which that's an indictment on me, because
25:50
Speaker 1: I often I'm a fucking loser. I live by myself,
25:54
Speaker 1: so I'll sit there with a bowl of chicken and
25:57
Speaker 1: rice while working. And anyway, So I had a hot
26:01
Speaker 1: chocolate which I a jarrot jolo.
26:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks very much.
26:05
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not giving up chocolate. I'm not a chocolate addict.
26:08
Speaker 1: You are, now, It's okay. So I had anyway, So
26:12
Speaker 1: I had a couple of bowls which were dirty, and
26:15
Speaker 1: I took them down. I put them in the sink.
26:17
Speaker 1: I filled them with water and went, fuck it, I'll
26:18
Speaker 1: wash them in the morning. I got halfway back up
26:20
Speaker 1: the stairs and I'm like, just go and wash them properly.
26:26
Speaker 1: Like I was really tired. I just wanted to get
26:28
Speaker 1: in bed, and this fucking little voice goes, just go
26:32
Speaker 1: back downstairs, you big baby. Wash the dishes, properly, dry
26:37
Speaker 1: the dishes, properly, put them back where they live in
26:41
Speaker 1: the cupboard, and then wipe everything down. And I'm like,
26:46
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I know this is a dumb example,
26:49
Speaker 1: but it's It's just like and the other night I
26:52
Speaker 1: spoke about this on a previous podcast. I got to
26:56
Speaker 1: the end of the day and I looked at my
26:57
Speaker 1: steps and they were like fuck all, I just wanted
27:00
Speaker 1: to and I just went, I can't do that few
27:03
Speaker 1: steps and I just went outside and I late at
27:06
Speaker 1: night I did, you know, I can't remember how many,
27:09
Speaker 1: but it was. It wasn't a million, but it was
27:10
Speaker 1: like four or five thousand additional steps on top just
27:14
Speaker 1: because And whenever I do the thing that I don't
27:18
Speaker 1: want to do, but I feel, you know, I have
27:21
Speaker 1: this awareness that I'm actually doing something good for my
27:23
Speaker 1: own resilience. And my own kind of development. But there's
27:28
Speaker 1: a jaw and I mean, we're talking about little silly things,
27:32
Speaker 1: but these little silly things add up. It's like, every
27:36
Speaker 1: time I walk a flight of stairs here at home,
27:39
Speaker 1: it's contributing to the forty flights a day that I walk,
27:43
Speaker 1: and you go forty flights a day time seven days
27:47
Speaker 1: is two hundred and eighty flights of stairs that I
27:49
Speaker 1: incidentally walk. And I'm always grateful that I have a
27:54
Speaker 1: two story house. I'm like, because it's actually better for
27:58
Speaker 1: my health because I'm doing this thing which is just
28:01
Speaker 1: a byproduct of living in this environment. And I can't
28:04
Speaker 1: get up here because I can't fly, so I've got
28:07
Speaker 1: to use the fucking stairs, you know. So I'll finish
28:11
Speaker 1: these off. So I'll just recap. Am I intentional with one?
28:15
Speaker 1: My lifestyle, my relationships, career, self improvement, skill development? This
28:20
Speaker 1: one is really important? Am I? Am I intentional with
28:26
Speaker 1: the optimization of my potential? When I ask one hundred
28:32
Speaker 1: people in a room, how many of you think that
28:34
Speaker 1: you've absolutely maxed your potential? Nobody puts up their hand
28:39
Speaker 1: when I say how many of you? Feel like and
28:41
Speaker 1: this is not self loathing, but in some ways you
28:44
Speaker 1: have or are and maybe not globally, perhaps an area
28:49
Speaker 1: of your life, but you're wasting potential and every hand
28:52
Speaker 1: goes hut. And so you know, the question is not
29:00
Speaker 1: you know, why do I have these genetics? But rather
29:03
Speaker 1: how do I optimize these genetics? Like how do I
29:05
Speaker 1: get the most out of what I have? How do
29:09
Speaker 1: I get the most out of my fourteen hundred and
29:11
Speaker 1: forty minutes? How do I get the most out of
29:14
Speaker 1: this brain that I have? So my IQ is, let's
29:17
Speaker 1: wheel in a number. In fact, let's not because I
29:19
Speaker 1: hate those fucking classifications, but your your intelligence, your intellect
29:24
Speaker 1: that you were born with, Your creativity, your default creativity
29:28
Speaker 1: that you were born with, is trainable.
29:32
Speaker 2: Right.
29:32
Speaker 1: You can improve your creative skills, you can improve your
29:37
Speaker 1: cognitive skills. You can get more out of the brain
29:41
Speaker 1: that you have, You can get more out of the
29:43
Speaker 1: body that you have, get you can become, you know,
29:48
Speaker 1: as a podcaster from episode one of the You Project
29:51
Speaker 1: to whatever number this is, I'm better. I'm better. And
29:55
Speaker 1: I'm not better because I've got more talent or I've
29:59
Speaker 1: got more potent. I'm better because I use the talent
30:02
Speaker 1: and use the potential and I develop skill, and all
30:06
Speaker 1: of us can do that no matter what our starting
30:10
Speaker 1: point is, number whatever, we're up to. Third last one?
30:16
Speaker 1: Am I intentional with the way that I use my time?
30:22
Speaker 1: Am I intentionally optimizing time management? And I would say
30:28
Speaker 1: none of us are like not, Well, that's not true.
30:33
Speaker 1: I'm sure someone is, you know. And this comes down
30:37
Speaker 1: to good busy and bad busy, you know, the busy
30:42
Speaker 1: badge of which we speak often. Yep, we're all busy, yep.
30:46
Speaker 1: But are you busy productive and effective? Or are you
30:49
Speaker 1: just busy? Ineffective, unproductive, spinning the wheels, fucking stagnating, same place.
30:57
Speaker 1: You've been busy for the last six months, but you
30:59
Speaker 1: look up and you're still in the place that you
31:00
Speaker 1: don't want to be. In fact, you haven't moved because
31:04
Speaker 1: you're busy, but you're not strategic. You're busy, but you're
31:06
Speaker 1: not productive. You're busy, but you're not effective. So how
31:11
Speaker 1: do we optimize our time and become more effective with like?
31:16
Speaker 1: And that goes back to energy. What is the optimal
31:20
Speaker 1: use of my energy in conjunction with the time that
31:23
Speaker 1: I have available to me? So the energy management and
31:27
Speaker 1: the time management energy is not an unlimited resource. Time
31:31
Speaker 1: is not an unlimited resource and every single day. Tip
31:35
Speaker 1: I hate to tell you this, but the most time
31:38
Speaker 1: that you will ever have in your life moving forward
31:43
Speaker 1: is this moment. As I say these words, You're never
31:46
Speaker 1: going to have any more hours left in your life
31:49
Speaker 1: than you do in this moment. The clock's counting down.
31:52
Speaker 1: And that's the same for all of us. That's not morbid,
31:54
Speaker 1: that's life. And then the last one, which I spoke
31:57
Speaker 1: about already is and I am I intentional with my
32:01
Speaker 1: spiritual journey. I think I'd banged on for a long time.
32:06
Speaker 1: There any thoughts, any additions? Co host?
32:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, do you know what? It's really relevant to
32:13
Speaker 2: how I've been feeling. So it was really nice to
32:17
Speaker 2: sit back and just digest that as you were talking
32:19
Speaker 2: about it, because I just feel like this year, probably
32:22
Speaker 2: prompted by my energetic state, it's brought along, brought along
32:26
Speaker 2: a lot of opportunity to reflect. I was going to
32:29
Speaker 2: ask you how long do you sit and this might
32:32
Speaker 2: be a meeting, but how long do you sit in
32:34
Speaker 2: a place of observation before you decide which trigger to
32:39
Speaker 2: pull on your hypothesis of being more intentional? Because I
32:47
Speaker 2: don't think I was just gonna say I find I
32:51
Speaker 2: always talk about that history of me being such a
32:53
Speaker 2: great storyteller, like my reasons, my perception of why I
32:58
Speaker 2: did things when I was younger was a very strong,
33:01
Speaker 2: feel good story. So I know that my reasoning can
33:05
Speaker 2: land in that space before it lands in the space
33:08
Speaker 2: that's maybe going to actually push me in the right direction.
33:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So I think it depends on how big
33:16
Speaker 1: the light bulb is for me. If it's like a, yeah,
33:20
Speaker 1: I should do that, but that's not like a nine
33:23
Speaker 1: or an eight priority, it's like a it's a three
33:27
Speaker 1: out of ten awareness that I should do that, but
33:30
Speaker 1: at the moment, other things need to have my attention
33:33
Speaker 1: and time. It depends a little bit. I'll give you
33:37
Speaker 1: an example of something that I became aware of. So
33:41
Speaker 1: one of the things that I do is I have
33:43
Speaker 1: a lot of ideas that I say, like I do
33:47
Speaker 1: do a lot of stuff, you know, like I am
33:49
Speaker 1: actually quite productive, but there are other things that I
33:52
Speaker 1: say that I'm going to do that I don't do
33:55
Speaker 1: or I don't do them in the time. And so
34:00
Speaker 1: this is something that I've had an awareness about and
34:05
Speaker 1: I'm doing. So I spoke to Melissa not yesterday the
34:10
Speaker 1: day before about a program, a video program. I think,
34:15
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've spoken to you about this,
34:17
Speaker 1: but I'm designing a video program which will be a
34:21
Speaker 1: product and it'll be on the site and all of
34:25
Speaker 1: that and people can buy it. But it's going to
34:27
Speaker 1: be essentially be one hundred give or take one hundred
34:32
Speaker 1: short videos about ten eight, ten fifteen minutes that people
34:37
Speaker 1: can watch and rewatch take notes, So a combination of teaching, lecturing, inspiration, education,
34:44
Speaker 1: information that people can watch and rewatch, take notes, answer questions,
34:48
Speaker 1: and so on. So it's, you know, kind of almost school,
34:51
Speaker 1: but with me up the front, which is fucking mayhem,
34:55
Speaker 1: of course. So my plan was, I said to Melissa,
35:00
Speaker 1: I'm going to spend all of October like planning, planning,
35:05
Speaker 1: what are the areas I'm going to talk about, like
35:07
Speaker 1: the broad topics and then the specific topics under each
35:11
Speaker 1: kind of banner, and then I'm going to get clarity
35:14
Speaker 1: around each of the you know, one hundred or so videos,
35:19
Speaker 1: and then in November I'm going to record on average
35:24
Speaker 1: three or four a day and get them all recorded
35:26
Speaker 1: in November, right, and then the amc C thing the
35:31
Speaker 1: fucking kicked in you know, the anterior mid singulate cortex,
35:34
Speaker 1: the you know, the just do it. And I finished
35:39
Speaker 1: talking to Melissa, and then I went, I'm going to
35:42
Speaker 1: I got off the phone, and then I started planning
35:45
Speaker 1: because I was going to do all the planning in
35:47
Speaker 1: October and then the execution pulled the trigger and do
35:50
Speaker 1: all the filming in November. She would edit it as
35:53
Speaker 1: we went and we'd hopefully launch it in December as
35:58
Speaker 1: a program that people and get involved in. Right, And
36:03
Speaker 1: then I went, why am I It's like, well, two
36:06
Speaker 1: days ago it was the tenth of September, I'm like,
36:10
Speaker 1: what am I going to do for the rest of September?
36:12
Speaker 1: I'm just going to sit on the edge of my seat,
36:14
Speaker 1: swinging my legs, waiting for October to one. October one
36:18
Speaker 1: to come. So I've already started. So I've got about
36:23
Speaker 1: probably six seven pages, you know, just on a word document,
36:27
Speaker 1: but probably I don't know, two three four thousand words
36:30
Speaker 1: in already just and I'm so glad I started because
36:35
Speaker 1: I've got momentum now and I've got more clarity now,
36:38
Speaker 1: and i know that I'm going to be way ahead
36:40
Speaker 1: of schedule. So I may or may not, but worst
36:43
Speaker 1: case scenario. I'm going to start filming in December November,
36:47
Speaker 1: but I think I'll actually start filming in the next
36:50
Speaker 1: couple of weeks because we also need to figure out
36:54
Speaker 1: how am I going to film it so that you know,
36:56
Speaker 1: it's not going to be Hollywood production, but it's got
36:59
Speaker 1: to be you know, good video, good audio, and it's
37:03
Speaker 1: got to be something that you know, so apart from
37:05
Speaker 1: the content being good, you know all this, all the
37:07
Speaker 1: kind of look, feel, function, vibe, you know all that.
37:11
Speaker 1: And so I don't know why I was telling you that,
37:14
Speaker 1: but yeah, one of my things is either do it
37:19
Speaker 1: or say you're going to do it, then do it,
37:21
Speaker 1: or don't say you're going to do it, like it,
37:25
Speaker 1: just put it on the shelf and say I may
37:26
Speaker 1: get to that one day, but not now, because I
37:29
Speaker 1: do have a history of saying I would do shit
37:32
Speaker 1: that I don't do. Although I think I'm probably more
37:35
Speaker 1: productive than the average person because I do follow through
37:40
Speaker 1: a lot, I have done a lot of shit, but yeah,
37:42
Speaker 1: that yeah, And also another thing for me is I've
37:46
Speaker 1: probably been bad at times at prioritizing because like I
37:53
Speaker 1: had a phone call from a big company yesterday. I'll
37:55
Speaker 1: tell you off air. I think I've told you already.
37:58
Speaker 1: But anyway, they want me to consults on this thing
38:01
Speaker 1: which is new and exciting and interesting, and I really
38:04
Speaker 1: don't have time. And they're like, would you be I
38:07
Speaker 1: go yes, I would, would you be interested? I'm like, yep,
38:12
Speaker 1: really I should go no. But anyway, I'll figure it out.
38:18
Speaker 2: What what's the common thing that when you've but well,
38:21
Speaker 2: I guess even with even with that, it's relevant with
38:24
Speaker 2: what drove you to say yes, what's behind that? But
38:28
Speaker 2: also in these moments where you've sat and made a
38:33
Speaker 2: shift to be more in purpose and on purpose, has
38:36
Speaker 2: it been a recurring theme that is underlying the drive
38:42
Speaker 2: and the not being on purpose for.
38:44
Speaker 1: You a little bit? I think, yeah, that's a really
38:48
Speaker 1: good question. I think that, And I'm sorry for the
38:55
Speaker 1: people who have heard this too many times. But because
38:59
Speaker 1: you know, when I was young, I didn't. I wasn't
39:02
Speaker 1: particularly and I'm still not. But it's not like, oh, Craig,
39:06
Speaker 1: you were futs at you, Wow you are a great
39:08
Speaker 1: athlet or are your amazing academic, or you know you
39:11
Speaker 1: had this incredible gift to do that. I didn't have
39:14
Speaker 1: any of that. Probably my best gift was communication. Like
39:19
Speaker 1: if that's a gift, Like I could always string a
39:22
Speaker 1: few words together, and you know, if I'm being honest,
39:25
Speaker 1: bullshit my way in and out of stuff, right and
39:29
Speaker 1: often bullship my way into trouble. But I think because
39:35
Speaker 1: I realized young that if I wanted to have an
39:40
Speaker 1: extraordinary life, and I don't mean in comparison to anyone,
39:44
Speaker 1: but you know, to live a good life, to to
39:46
Speaker 1: do to have a life that I loved, To have
39:49
Speaker 1: a career that I loved, to have relationships that were
39:52
Speaker 1: you know, better than average, and by that I mean
39:55
Speaker 1: for the most part healthy, to build a lifestyle and habits,
39:59
Speaker 1: and you know, then had to be really intentional about
40:04
Speaker 1: that because nothing, you know, nothing, While I didn't have
40:10
Speaker 1: a hard life, there's no sob story, but like I
40:13
Speaker 1: never just landed on my feet. You know how people
40:16
Speaker 1: go they get discovered or something. Well, I was never
40:19
Speaker 1: going to get discovered because there's fucking nothing to discover,
40:22
Speaker 1: you know. And it's like, you know, it's like I
40:26
Speaker 1: would have been waiting for opportunity to knock for fucking
40:29
Speaker 1: sixty years, but that motherfucker's not coming to the door.
40:32
Speaker 1: So you go, oh, well, I should create opportunities, because
40:36
Speaker 1: that's another option. So rather than someone waiting for me,
40:41
Speaker 1: or sorry, waiting for someone to recognize how awesome I am,
40:45
Speaker 1: which is ridiculous, I will make decisions, do work, and
40:50
Speaker 1: I will create opportunities, and I will fail and I
40:53
Speaker 1: will win, and I will fall down and I will
40:54
Speaker 1: get up and I will figure out how to build
40:58
Speaker 1: whatever it is that I want to. I'll figure out
41:01
Speaker 1: how to get in shape. I'll figure out how to
41:03
Speaker 1: run a company. I'll figure out how to do a podcast.
41:06
Speaker 1: I'll figure out how to write, write a book or five,
41:10
Speaker 1: you know, I'll figure I'll figure out how to do
41:13
Speaker 1: radio with no radio training. I'll figure out how to
41:16
Speaker 1: write for a newspaper with fucking no journalism experience. Like
41:20
Speaker 1: all the shit that I've done, and I'm not bragging
41:23
Speaker 1: here because for everything that I did well, I did
41:26
Speaker 1: twenty unwell, Like twenty wins I had, you know, for
41:30
Speaker 1: every one win, I had twenty failures. And so but
41:33
Speaker 1: all of the fun things that I have done are
41:37
Speaker 1: a byproduct of all of the unfun things, the unfun
41:41
Speaker 1: things I did along the way to get there. It's
41:44
Speaker 1: like that Jimmy Carr quote. Everyone's jealous of what you've got,
41:51
Speaker 1: but nobody's jealous of how you got it right. And
41:55
Speaker 1: I'm not saying people are jealous of me, they're not.
41:56
Speaker 1: But it's like everyone wants to be at the top
41:59
Speaker 1: of the mountain, but nobody wants to do the fucking climb. Well,
42:02
Speaker 1: the climb is the best bit, like even when it
42:05
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like it, Like, the climb is the growth
42:08
Speaker 1: and the joy and the learning and the revelation and
42:10
Speaker 1: the resilience, all the awesome shit. None of the awesome
42:14
Speaker 1: shit comes at the top of the mountain because the
42:17
Speaker 1: only way you can go when you're at the top
42:18
Speaker 1: of the mountain, baby.
42:19
Speaker 2: Is down in the mountain.
42:21
Speaker 1: You've got to keep as sending fuck getting to the top,
42:24
Speaker 1: just keep growing, learning, evolving, because how many people have
42:28
Speaker 1: you worked with and I work with where they achieve
42:31
Speaker 1: what they set out to and they go and now
42:33
Speaker 1: I'm fulfilled? No one, how many people of you and
42:37
Speaker 1: I helped get in shape and they go, right, this
42:39
Speaker 1: is me Now I don't want to change anymore. Oh
42:42
Speaker 1: look awesome, I'm so happy. I'm so content. Or my
42:46
Speaker 1: food issues are gone, my body dysmorphia has disappeared. I'm
42:49
Speaker 1: at the perfect weight, the perfect body composition. I'm happy
42:53
Speaker 1: now it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. So now that's
42:58
Speaker 1: not to say what you should be on at your
43:00
Speaker 1: journey of changing our body. It's just that we when
43:03
Speaker 1: you kind of deconstruct the idea of arriving, you go, actually,
43:11
Speaker 1: we're always on the journey. Always, even if we do
43:16
Speaker 1: get to a destination, we're not fucking stopping, you know.
43:19
Speaker 1: So that's for me, that's the joy.
43:23
Speaker 2: I'm thinking deep about the purpose thing, and I'm thinking
43:26
Speaker 2: about how how it's tied, how deeply it's tied into
43:31
Speaker 2: our identity, and how deeply our perception of purposes driven
43:37
Speaker 2: by that hard shit that keeps us stuck. And I
43:42
Speaker 2: guess so if I give an example, one of the
43:45
Speaker 2: things that's always been excuse me, in the back of
43:48
Speaker 2: my mind around building my own business and doing all
43:50
Speaker 2: this great stuff was the idea of Okay, like, I
43:54
Speaker 2: know I'm helping people, I know I'm making I'm giving
43:57
Speaker 2: people resources that are hell right, So that's that's great.
44:02
Speaker 2: But sometimes I go, but I'm not helping. What am
44:06
Speaker 2: I helping for? Nothing? Like, what's a bigger purpose? Where
44:10
Speaker 2: am I really? Where's the big cause, the big overarching
44:14
Speaker 2: What does Roll with the punches and Tiffany Hooks stand for?
44:17
Speaker 2: That matters? That's not commercial, and I don't. I always
44:22
Speaker 2: feel like i'ven't landed on that. And then I think
44:24
Speaker 2: about how busy I make myself and how I self
44:28
Speaker 2: sabotage that never so I look at how hard I work,
44:30
Speaker 2: and how I never feel like I actually get any
44:34
Speaker 2: closer to any of that hard work coming to real fruition.
44:38
Speaker 2: But then I wrote down before this idea around, I've
44:41
Speaker 2: always had this deep sense of no one is looking
44:44
Speaker 2: after me. I'm the only one, and so I have
44:47
Speaker 2: to look after me because there's no one else. But
44:49
Speaker 2: I create that because I pushed them away because I'm
44:51
Speaker 2: scared of connection and I don't trust anybody. I don't
44:54
Speaker 2: trust anybody in my personal life or my professional life.
44:57
Speaker 2: So it's the yearning to want to be something and
45:02
Speaker 2: provide something to others. But I'm encasing myself in providing
45:07
Speaker 2: to me and creating this bullshit story or living or
45:11
Speaker 2: being captivated by it that I kind of know is there.
45:15
Speaker 2: I guess that was kind of what drew me too,
45:17
Speaker 2: that question of you of how long do you sit
45:19
Speaker 2: in a space of observation before you figure out how
45:21
Speaker 2: the fuck do I break this?
45:23
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you do have that big fuck off
45:27
Speaker 1: sign on your forehead, right, you do do that, right?
45:30
Speaker 2: Well.
45:31
Speaker 1: The one reason that like, I'm going to be blunt
45:33
Speaker 1: and honest, and some people might recoil with what I'm
45:36
Speaker 1: about to say, right, this is just true. Fuck it.
45:40
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that you trust me and you're
45:42
Speaker 1: comfortable with me is because I'm not a man that's
45:46
Speaker 1: trying to get in your pants. I'm not a man
45:48
Speaker 1: that wants something from you other than friendship and camaraderie.
45:53
Speaker 2: Right, And.
45:58
Speaker 1: I think that that you know, because you've had understandably
46:02
Speaker 1: you've had shit experiences and you know, and some men
46:06
Speaker 1: have been pricks and but but all of that, all
46:09
Speaker 1: of the stuff that you've been through, right, But you know,
46:14
Speaker 1: we can't go through life trusting no one, you know.
46:18
Speaker 1: And it's at some stage, like you know, this is
46:22
Speaker 1: ironic coming from me, I guess, But you know, it's
46:25
Speaker 1: like there are lots of people that I love and
46:27
Speaker 1: I'm vulnerable with people because I do I open the
46:30
Speaker 1: door to people and I care about people. And it
46:33
Speaker 1: might not be in a romantic or sexual relationship or whatever.
46:37
Speaker 1: But I you know, I care about people and trusting.
46:41
Speaker 1: You know, I've I've had and I won't bore you
46:46
Speaker 1: with it. I've spoken about, but I've had people very
46:48
Speaker 1: close to me who have ripped me off, stolen money
46:50
Speaker 1: from me, fucked me over in business, people that I
46:53
Speaker 1: loved and I was very close to, and you know,
46:57
Speaker 1: and it's okay, it's like that happens that. But at
47:01
Speaker 1: the same time, I think back to your question of
47:05
Speaker 1: what's the thing that I'm doing that I'm just doing
47:07
Speaker 1: with no commercial or selfish interest. And I think the
47:11
Speaker 1: skill that you have, which is to coach, which is
47:14
Speaker 1: to inspire and educate people, is you know, do that
47:18
Speaker 1: for someone for nothing or like I'm you know, I
47:23
Speaker 1: help quite a few people and I'm not looking for accolades,
47:27
Speaker 1: and you know, you know the stuff that I do
47:29
Speaker 1: where there's it's just stuff that I do because I
47:32
Speaker 1: think that's the right thing to do and that's part
47:34
Speaker 1: of a bigger purpose, you know. But I think also
47:38
Speaker 1: you need to well, okay, I'll keep going. You need
47:43
Speaker 1: to proactively think about how can I serve, Like, what's
47:48
Speaker 1: a way that I can serve people that where there
47:54
Speaker 1: isn't anything in it for me, but I'm doing something
47:56
Speaker 1: good for one person or two people or the community.
47:59
Speaker 1: I think I told you about this, Oh yeah I did.
48:02
Speaker 1: Like I was talking about how I miss training groups
48:07
Speaker 1: of people, right because I used to do that for
48:09
Speaker 1: a very long time. I train heaps people outdoors, and
48:13
Speaker 1: you know, I regularly would have one hundred people in
48:15
Speaker 1: a group. And I recently spoke to I think I
48:21
Speaker 1: told you about the Base Side Council. So I had
48:25
Speaker 1: an idea, and I don't know where this will go,
48:28
Speaker 1: but my idea was, what if I just do something
48:33
Speaker 1: for the community where I just whether it's once or
48:36
Speaker 1: twice a week, whoever wants to come. There's no cost. No,
48:40
Speaker 1: we're not fucking selling anything. At the end, there's no or.
48:44
Speaker 1: We're going to get them in. We're going to We're
48:46
Speaker 1: going to low ball and offer them. We're going to
48:47
Speaker 1: get them in. Then at the end we're going to
48:49
Speaker 1: upset like there's nothing. There's literally no sales pitch ever. Right.
48:55
Speaker 1: So I rang my friend who until recently was the
48:58
Speaker 1: mayor of the base Id Council, Hannah, and I asked him, anyway,
49:03
Speaker 1: the not very quick version of this is next Monday,
49:06
Speaker 1: so we're recording this Thursday. I've got a meeting with
49:10
Speaker 1: three people from the Council, from three different departments to
49:14
Speaker 1: talk about what we might do. That is me collaborating
49:20
Speaker 1: with the Council and then with me and I would
49:24
Speaker 1: and if if possible, I'm going to involve you, if
49:29
Speaker 1: you want to be involved, I'm going to involve other people,
49:31
Speaker 1: fitness professionals, health professionals, and nobody's going to make a
49:35
Speaker 1: fucking scent, right, We're just going to do something good.
49:40
Speaker 1: And I don't know what that's going to look like.
49:42
Speaker 1: I need to spend some time on the weekend planning
49:45
Speaker 1: because they want me to come to him with something
49:47
Speaker 1: of a proposal. But I don't know what the fuck
49:51
Speaker 1: that's going to look like yet. But I just think, look,
49:53
Speaker 1: I imagine if you know, like a friend of mine, Robin,
49:56
Speaker 1: who runs a beautiful, beautiful not for profit called Strength
50:00
Speaker 1: over Cancer, right, and I helped her name that, in
50:06
Speaker 1: fact I came up with the name. But she's done
50:10
Speaker 1: like it's she does all this fucking incredible work with
50:14
Speaker 1: cancer patients, people going through chemo, people on the cancer journey,
50:19
Speaker 1: and there's this whole network of trainers and EPs and
50:23
Speaker 1: fitness people around Australia that donate their time and skill
50:29
Speaker 1: to train people who are going through this really hard.
50:31
Speaker 1: I fucking love that, right. Imagine if just all of
50:35
Speaker 1: us people who had, you know, like something to offer,
50:40
Speaker 1: like all right, I'm going to give the world two
50:42
Speaker 1: hours of me a week. Hey, world, here's me two
50:46
Speaker 1: hours every week. Ah, what's that? One hundred and four
50:50
Speaker 1: hours a year? Yep? Who's in? How can I help you?
50:54
Speaker 1: How can I serve you? What can I do for you?
50:56
Speaker 1: I don't want a Christmas card. I don't need a
50:58
Speaker 1: fucking bottle of booze for my birthday. I don't need
51:01
Speaker 1: any backslaps. It's just like, let me help you, because
51:06
Speaker 1: you need help, that's the reason, you know. So for me,
51:09
Speaker 1: I think there are always ways to create connection with
51:13
Speaker 1: people who need some love, some attention, some kindness and
51:17
Speaker 1: also very timely that we are recording this on are
51:22
Speaker 1: you Okay? Day? You know I actually put out a
51:26
Speaker 1: thing on LinkedIn just before, like sharing the love, and
51:31
Speaker 1: I almost didn't put it up because I thought, oh
51:35
Speaker 1: fuck do I put this on LinkedIn? It's not a
51:37
Speaker 1: very LinkedIn kind of vibe. And then I thought, well,
51:40
Speaker 1: fuck it. Everyone on LinkedIn nearly everyone is a human,
51:44
Speaker 1: so fuck it. Here we go. You're all humans. Here's
51:49
Speaker 1: some love. And I know there's nothing you know, there's
51:52
Speaker 1: no strategy or there's no business value in this, but
51:55
Speaker 1: fuck it, here's a cuddle. Here's a cyber cuddle from Harps.
52:00
Speaker 1: I just think that there might be you know, And
52:03
Speaker 1: as I said to you, I know I'm over talking.
52:04
Speaker 1: I'm aware of that in the moment. As I said
52:07
Speaker 1: to you the other day, at my event in Melbourne,
52:11
Speaker 1: while I love you know, most of the majority of
52:15
Speaker 1: my listeners and the majority of my followers and friends
52:18
Speaker 1: and attendees women female. We had a disproportionate number of blokes,
52:25
Speaker 1: so we normally have ten percent blokes. If that, it
52:27
Speaker 1: was probably thirty, which is fucking amazing. And the amount
52:32
Speaker 1: of dudes that came up to me and gave me
52:34
Speaker 1: a hug and were just like there was just this
52:36
Speaker 1: genuine love and connection. I'm like, it's so good. Let's
52:42
Speaker 1: get through the bullshit. Let's get through the fucking alpha
52:46
Speaker 1: male bravado bullshit, because we're all a bit fucked, we're
52:49
Speaker 1: all a bit sad, we're all a bit unsure, we're
52:51
Speaker 1: all a bit uncertain, we're all a bit anxious. Let's
52:54
Speaker 1: cut through the embarrassment and the ego around it, and
52:57
Speaker 1: let's just fucking lean in and let's just love people
53:01
Speaker 1: like let's just do that. And I know that right now,
53:05
Speaker 1: in a world that's full of so much fucking division
53:09
Speaker 1: and fish shaking and anger and bullshit, I get it.
53:13
Speaker 1: But the only person that I can control or want
53:16
Speaker 1: to control, is me. So every day I just get choosed.
53:19
Speaker 1: I get the opportunity to operate in love. So that's
53:24
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. That's me. I'm a soapbox. I just
53:28
Speaker 1: dropped the mic.
53:30
Speaker 2: Fuck it, I love it. I love it.
53:33
Speaker 1: We do what we can. I'm just hey, I'll see
53:37
Speaker 1: you at the gym at three o'clock. It's one forty one.
53:40
Speaker 1: I'm just going to get my leotard off the clothesline
53:43
Speaker 1: and it's a.
53:45
Speaker 2: Big long neon socks again. They look great, yep.
53:47
Speaker 1: I'll wear the leg warmers. I'll get my rebox. I'll
53:50
Speaker 1: get my nine eighty four rebox out of the fucking
53:53
Speaker 1: cobwebs and some spandex, a boobtube, a headband. Imagine me
53:59
Speaker 1: and a boo tube in a headband buck. Yeah, come on,
54:02
Speaker 1: let's tell you what nobody's concentrating now, somebody just spat
54:06
Speaker 1: out their breakfast, all right, Thanks Tiff, Thanks everyone, Thanks Apps,