Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / You don't OWE the narcissist in your life anything

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You don't OWE the narcissist in your life anything · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammett, the diagnosed selfaware narcissist known as
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  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
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  narcissist Code. If this is the first time here I
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  use my platform on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get
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  more people in the therapy like myself and also validate the
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  victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorder, said Toxic
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  people, said toxic trade shop. Today's episode is going to be
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  entitled You don't owe the narcissist anything That is
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  this. Get it out the way y'all you
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  absolutely. Do not owe that narcissistic
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  person in your life any day if you decide that it's time to end
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  that relationship space. Because ask yourself this
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  question right here. Y'all What have they done for
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  you to make you feel like you actually owe them something?
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  What have they done for you? To make you feel like okay, I
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  owe this person something. You don't owe them loyalty
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  because typically, they don't give you loyalty.
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  You don't owe them honor. You don't owe them.
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  They out money. Whatever the situation is,
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  y'all, if you decide to leave that narcissistic person in your
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  life, you don't owe them anything.
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  You can watch you. You.
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  If you decide that it's over time to end it, you can end it.
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  So many narcissistic people condition you to think that you
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  like you owe us something. Hey, you can fix us.
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  You can help us. If you leave me, I'll
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  disintegrate into nothingness. They make it feel like they
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  can't live without you sometimes.
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  Y'all. Oh, I can't do.
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  I can't do this without you. Right here.
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  Like you going to leave me. You going to abandon me like
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  everybody else does. You going to leave, leave me
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  here by myself to my own vices. You know, I'm, you know, I need
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  help. Wow.
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  You never cared about me. You never loved me.
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  You've been faking it this whole time.
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  Wow. I knew you.
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  I knew you were fake. I knew it.
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  I knew the whole time. Blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  Y'all. Understand exactly what I'm
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  saying. You don't.
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  When you get to that point, when you realize though, okay, it's
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  time to go. Because that's how they A lot of
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  times that's outside of the trauma bond and part of the part
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  of the trauma bond. Sometimes they convinced you
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  that you can't leave because you owe them something like y'all
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  been together for so long. You owe them another.
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  You owe them a second or third or 4th, 15th chance.
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  To to make things right. You owe them time to change.
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  You owe them your body. You owe them your money, your
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  spirit. They make you feel like you are
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  obligated to give them these things just because they exist
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  in your life. Not because they've earned it,
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  but because they they they exist in your life.
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  So the next time, like I said, if you get into your head like
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  okay, it's time for me to leave. I'm I got to peel out.
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  I got to choose me. I got to do what's best for me.
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  Don't feel guilty. Y'all a lot of time.
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  I know it's easy for me to say. But a lot of times, that
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  narcissistic person wants to make you feel guilty.
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  You owe the kid. Then if you if, if you feel like
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  you don't owe them anything, they'll make you sound like you
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  owe the kids. Or you owe the family members.
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  You owe the church. You owe somebody something that
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  keeps you bound to them. You owe God.
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  No, no, no. You owe.
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  You owe God. Not only do you owe me.
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  You owe God, God said. You got to give me another
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  chance. God said you got to work, you
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  got to press through this, this tumultuous time right here.
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  God said you got to let me clap them cheeks one more time so I
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  can maybe get you pregnant. God said this.
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  God said you go. God said you don't need to break
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  the family up now. You don't owe them anything.
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  That's why I I try to convince people this, to tell people this
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  all the time. But it's it's it's easy to say
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  and harder to prove because you have to ask yourself.
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  Why do you feel like you owe this person another chance?
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  Why do you feel like you owe this person more time?
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  Is it peer pressure? Is it religious pressure?
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  Is it toxic? Narcissistic pressure?
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  Toxic pressure? Toxic narcissistic pressure is a
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  real thing that I just made-up off the top of my head.
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  Toxic, narcissistic pressure. Y'all you're gonna hear me do a
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  video. Narcissistic pressure here
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  pretty soon. Y'all gonna hear me do a video
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  here pretty soon. Toxic narcissistic pressure.
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  Y'all see me filming outside. I'm going to change locations
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  here in a few seconds. Y'all I'm just filming outside
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  right now. But like, yeah, if they put it
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  into your head or you like if you get the inkling like okay,
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  I'm done with this relationship dynamic.
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  I'm done with this space because y'all sometimes the narcissistic
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  person in your life isn't a it isn't a romantic partner.
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  It could be your parent, you know?
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  If it's your parent in this situation, you don't owe y'all
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  your parents if your parents are toxic narcissistic people.
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  The hell yeah. They're going to make you feel.
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  They're going to make you feel like you owe them your life
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  because they gave birth to you. They raise you, They put time,
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  effort, energy into raising you. So you owe them something for
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  your for you being here on this planet.
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  But you don't owe your parents anything.
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  Y'all you're not. Narcissistic parents might make
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  you feel like you owed them your life and you owed them a life
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  debt because they bought you onto this planet.
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  They might have toxic they might have been abusive to you,
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  neglectful to you, but hey. I'm your parent.
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  You got it. You owe me your life.
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  You owe me your loyalty. You owe me your respect.
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  You owe me your money to take care of me.
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  You owe me this. You owe me that.
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  Toxic, narcissistic parents or some of the worst people, worst
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  narcissistic people. To make you feel like you owe
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  them something when you absolutely don't.
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  And it's like, say it's easy to say, but it's hard to process
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  that you don't owe your parents anything.
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  Y'all. You don't even owe your parents
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  respect. Like as an adult, when you get
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  older, your parents have to earn your respect too.
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  It's not we. We are all adults now.
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  Because you gave birth to me. You raised me.
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  Doesn't mean I owe you anything right now.
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  I can owe you respect if you earn it.
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  They have to. Yeah, they have to earn it.
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  And it's crazy to hear that your parents have to earn something
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  from you. Is it?
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  I know some people like, believe.
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  That's ignorant. Parent.
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  The Bible says this. The Bible says that.
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  I'm just telling you, they'll make you feel like they'll
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  biblically make you feel toxic. Parents, if you're super
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  religious or hyperreligious or whatever, religious, the
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  domination you decide to follow. They'll use that to keep you in
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  there. You owe God to give me another
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  chance. You owe it to God.
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  You owe it to this religion. You owe it to the church.
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  The same dynamic applies sometimes y'all even outside of
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  toxic relationship. Intimate, toxic, intimate
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  relationships. Your toxic parents make you feel
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  like you owe them something as well.
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  Not just your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,
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  midnight, you know, just click one night stand.
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  You know, use what I'm saying. You don't owe them anything.
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  Y'all. But not only do toxic,
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  narcissistic parents and. Intimate partners do this, make
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  you feel like you owe them something.
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  Toxic family members can do the same thing.
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  Your toxic friends can make you feel like you can make you feel
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  the same way, make you seem like you can't cut me off.
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  You can't leave me alone because you owe me something.
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  Your friends can do the same type of stuff.
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  Y'all toxic friends. Your BFF, Your bestie might be
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  toxic and say I had a toxic best friend that I had to cut off
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  this year. Y'all dude went behind my back
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  trying to spread rumors about me because my social media platform
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  was growing. Start lying on me saying call
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  kinds weirdness. And it made me feel like I owed
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  him another chance of friendship.
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  Because we had been friends for five years.
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  For 5 1/2 years, man, we've been friends too long, man.
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  No, no. Yeah, we've been friends too
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  long for you to treat me this way.
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  Ask yourself that Y'all. When they give you an excuse as
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  to why you can't cut them off, you don't have to give them.
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  Give them an excuse back because you've already made your mind
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  up. But like he said, like he just
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  said, sometimes you can have your own rebuttal inside of your
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  mind. We've been friends too long for
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  you to cut me off. No.
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  We've been friends too long for you to treat me this way and act
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  this way. Bam.
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  Got you cut off. You see what I'm saying?
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  I he may try to make you feel like I owe him friendship or
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  another chance of friendship because we had longevity, You
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  know what I mean? Same situation applies.
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  Or y'all. Not just friends, not just enemy
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  partners, not just parents. Your toxic ass workplace, your
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  toxic ass boss or your toxic ass employer can make you feel like
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  you owe them. So yeah, you can't quit.
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  You can't quit. You go.
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  You owe us a six year notice. I know.
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  That is normally a twoweek notice.
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  You can't give us six months. You see what I'm saying?
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  They make you feel like you owe them your loyalty.
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  Your schools y'all toxic, toxic environments make you feel like
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  you owe them your loyalty because you went there.
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  Your toxic school, your toxic workplace make you feel like you
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  owe them. Hey, you've been here five years
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  and you don't leave us without a pay raise.
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  Jobs love, Bob. Look, y'all jobs can love bomb
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  you, just like intimate partners can.
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  Your job can love bomb the hell out of you, just like an
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  intimate partner can. Absolutely, they absolutely can.
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  Y'all as I tell people like your job.
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  Your toxic job can love bomb the hell out of you too.
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  Absolutely. And then they can make you feel
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  like because they gave you a job, because they gave you an
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  opportunity. Your toxic boss gave you an
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  opportunity with no one else did.
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  You owe me your loyalty. But like the saying, flip it on
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  them. Y'all.
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  They would get rid of you. Think about it.
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  In the dynamic right there, y'all they would get rid of you
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  and you don't owe. And like I said, it would get
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  like the narcissistic person would get rid of you and tell
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  you that they don't owe you anything.
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  So why can't you do the same thing for them?
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  Why can't you do the same thing for yourself?
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  You see what I'm saying? Why do you have to be loyal to
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  somebody who isn't loyal to you? You see what I'm saying?
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  Respect is earned, y'all. It's just not something that's
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  giving out Willy nilly. Love is also earned.
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  I just feel like it's not something that should be giving
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  out Willy nilly. This how it just goes, though.
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  Y'all. You don't owe the narcissistic
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  person in your life anything. Anything, if anything.
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  You owe you. You owe your kids.
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  You owe yourself your emotional health.
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  You owe your physical health. You owe yourself a chance at a
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  healthy parenting dynamic, a healthy life, a better job.
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  You see what I'm saying? Healthy emotional growth.
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  Because you have to cut your toxic parents off or talk to
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  them less. Or whatever.
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  When I tell you to cut everybody completely off, y'all, you know
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  what I'm saying. You can choose to talk to people
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  left. You can.
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  You can set boundaries. That's because they won't.
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  Only they don't only try to convince you that you owe them
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  something. If you decide to cut them off,
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  they'll make it seem like you owe them something If you have
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  to, try to set boundaries on them.
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  Just a boundary. If you try to set a boundary on
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  them, they'll make it sound like you owe them your damn life.
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  Like how? How?
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  Owe you a blood debt. Because we friends.
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  How how do you owe you a life debt?
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  Because we we slept together a couple times.
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  We got we got because we got married a long time ago.
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  How do I owe you a I know people going to bring up the biblical
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  stuff. Y'all we.
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  Yeah, I'm all for BEO Your religious freedoms.
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  All the other good stuff we have to protect your peace as well.
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  Y'all. You absolutely have to protect
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  your peace. Toxic narcissistic alliances,
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  toxic narcissistic organizations exist as well.
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  Y'all especially. In the political spectrum, we're
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  not going to get into that because I don't want to hear
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  anybody in the comment section crying and whining and blah blah
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  blah Boo Boo Boo Boo BBB about your favorite politician or
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  whoever the hell you represent. I don't y'all just love and
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  respect people. God damn that's all you got to
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  do. But anyways, y'all let me cut
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  this thing short. I truly appreciate every single
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  one of y'all my kids with me and my wife wrote a kids book.
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  Y'all we wrote a kids book. We wrote a kids book.
• 10:52
  Join my mailing list, my e-mail list.
• 10:55
  In my the link is in my the description of every video and
• 10:57
  podcast. Join my mailing list because to
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  be the first to know on the release date of our kids, book
• 11:02
  out. It's coming out for toxic
• 11:04
  households, toxic growing up, toxic households and stuff like
• 11:06
  that. Me and my wife wrote a book and
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  dedicated to our children so it's going to be a spectacular
• 11:10
  thing y'all like and subscribe for more than.
• 11:12
  As always mentally illness is out peace.
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  What is going on beautiful people Thank you so much for
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  making it to the end of my video.
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  Watching it all way through y'all.
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• 11:29
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• 11:33
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• 11:35
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