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05 - Heidi's Peaceful Birth Center Birth · Heartbeat of The Home

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm having my sister on the podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so excited that you're here and she's going to be sharing her birth story with us and just how God showed up for her and just her thought process going into it.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being here.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for having me.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Being willing to do this with me.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's fun to do this with you and chat about it.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me who you are, about yourself, about your family.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: What yeah, just tell us about yourself.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so my name's Heidi, and I am a stay-at-home mom with our two-year-old son.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I am married to my husband Derek.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: We've been married for at the in just a couple weeks, actually.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be six years.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: So time's going by very quickly.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Time has flown by.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: It really has.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been married for almost six years, and our son, JJ, just turned two.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and I'm currently pregnant.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's our I had a miscarriage at between last fall, and so this is our technically our third baby.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, second living.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: So she is due early December.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So excited.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So what is something?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me something fun about JJ right now and like the stage that he's in.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, his language is just completely exploding, and so he's just talking so much, and it's really fun.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: He's not like a chatterbox, but he repeats everything.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's a little parrot.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but hard words too.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah like even when you had your ultrasound, you were like, Oh, I had an ultrasound.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, ultrasound, and it's like, what?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: He's so funny, he's so cute.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So we're really gonna be talking about JJ's birth for this episode.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me about how you found out you're pregnant, telling Derek, kind of that whole story.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So Derek and I were trying, like, we wanted to have a baby, and so it was nothing fancy.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just knew I tracked my cycles, so I knew like I should have had my period by now.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I was fairly confident that I was pregnant.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I took a pregnancy test, and Derek was in the bathroom with me when I took the pregnancy test.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it was no fancy reveal to him or anything.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we were obviously both very excited.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was in I think October or November 2023.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, how was your pregnancy and how did God show up for you in your pregnancy or just provide in that season?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: My pregnancy went honestly about as great as I was hoping and praying for.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, I mean, first trimester was obviously rough.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like for most women, it's not a pleasant time.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then the end of my third trimester, I was just really tired and couldn't walk for more than 20 minutes without getting a backache and stuff.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I feel like everything in between honestly was pretty, pretty great.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really enjoyed, for the most part, really enjoyed being pregnant.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: It just it really did feel like such a special and sacred time, just this sacred season of you know, this is the only time that I'm gonna be carrying this child inside of me.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's just crazy.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know it just feels like such felt like such an honor.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: So and then as far as God providing, it was cool to kind of think back about that.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, man, how did God provide during that season?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And there was kind of a few main ways that I remember remember.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: One is my husband, like I had finished grad school and was working, but I wasn't making a ton of money at the time.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, and my husband was in school full-time as well, finishing up his degree, and so our income wasn't very high, and so because of that, we qualified for like free health insurance through the state, and so all of my like prenatal pregnancy birth medical care was completely covered, and the birth center that I got my care through, it was not through a hospital or anything, it was like a standalone birth center, and they they took the insurance that I had.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was selecting my plan for the state insurance, I did a lot of research to make sure that I'd pick a plan that would be that the birth center would take, and so that was a huge way that God provided just the financial piece with the health insurance, and then another big way that God provided was my husband's job because our son was born June 2024, and then my husband graduated from school in December 2023, so like six months before, and he had a really he got his degree in computer science, and so he had a really hard time finding a job, like he was applying for places and it was just crickets, and then it was such a god story how he did end up getting the job that he has now.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: He had a classmate who he had done some projects with in school, and they hadn't really kept in touch, and then one day this classmate texts him, former classmate texts him and says, Hey, I just the company that I'm working for is looking to hire a data analyst.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Would you be interested?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I thought of you, and I just was wondering if you'd be interested.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thanks for letting him think of us.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So Derek, my husband, was like, um, yeah.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so then he went through the application process, had multiple interviews, and they offered him the job.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: So he started that April, like two months before our son was born.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So God definitely provided, and it was just and the job was a good fit for him, and he got promoted very quickly because they realized he had skill sets that didn't just that like surpassed the job he initially got, and so he was promoted and got a very significant raise within like six months of starting the job.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So just that's awesome, God providing in those ways was really huge.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not true and then one other thing, we had two very old cars, and so we were able to get a new car like the spring before our son was born.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it it was like eight years old, but it was new.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, more reliable than the other.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Not 20 years old, like our other two.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a huge blessing too.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, but it's just you know, as you're preparing to welcome a new member of your family, you just think about this thing's like, okay, we want to make sure we have a safe car to drive this child around.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And ourselves, obviously, but mainly them.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: So then what were you envisioning for your birth and trusting God for for that?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I really wanted like a physiologic birth, minimal interventions, um, just a very peaceful birth, not ideally not in a hospital.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's why you planned the birth center, or yeah, that's why I picked the birth center because it's it was so it was really cool.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was very cozy.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was literally in a reef, an old house um in downtown.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it was literally downtown St.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Paul.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you went to St.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Paul location I forgot.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was very cozy and just all like midwives and nurses, so they didn't even have I think they had an OBGYN that they would like refer to sometimes as needed, but it was all midwife, like midwifery care and stuff.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So and then what were you specifically like trusting God for for your birth?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think I mean the first thing that comes to mind is that I wouldn't have to transfer to the hospital, that I wouldn't go like super over my due date and wouldn't have to be induced, could just go into labor naturally.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so if you can share your birth story and then how God did show up for you with what you were envisioning, or even just in new ways and just yeah, share your birth story.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually looked back because about a week after my son was born, I did actually write out my birth stories.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's so smart.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so like recommend, would you recommend that to people?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, highly, because I honestly hadn't read it in like two years.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so today I was like, what this morning I was like thinking about this podcast, and I was like, you know, I remember it, but I'm just gonna go back and I did because I wrote out pretty detailed, and so there were things that I had written that I had forgotten.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So would highly recommend.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have a friend who recently, she has been having a lot of questions about her birth lately, and what she gave birth in hospital, and so she was able to get all the nurse notes and doctor's notes, which I think was helpful, but there's so many, and there's it's so medical that it's not it's not what you remember, you know.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it was helpful to kind of connect some dots, but I think it's would be cool to have like your perspective and tie it together.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I really like that.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really good recommendation.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't write, I just typed it on and no, but even just too much to write, yeah.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, or even I feel like even I think I did a voice memo to my friends in my birth story.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like even if you just talk it out, I feel like it's a good thing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's true, even just like recording, yeah, and then you can like hear it.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So any way that works for your brain to just document it, I would say within like a week or two.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like that even helped me bring some closure to it, even to just like voice it or like write, just kind of be like, wow, that happened.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and even process because I a little bit at the end, I process like how the first week has been going, and like, you know, to and to go so to go back and read like what some of the highlights were, what were some of the challenges that first week and stuff was kind of helpful too to look back on.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I about four days before my due date, I woke up.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Both my husband and I woke up around 5 a.m.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: We both need to go to the bathroom.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So my husband was like going to the bathroom and I was waiting my turn because I only have one toilet.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and then I was standing there and then I feel like uh this all this fluid coming out.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Well, I'm not in the habit of peeing my pants, so I'm pretty sure my water just broke.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: My public floor isn't shot yet.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And because I knew like that was a lot, that was more fluid than would be pee.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we called the birth center, like the nurse line, because it was early on a Saturday morning.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so they said like the the fluid was clear, so there wasn't any concerns about like meconium or anything.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't, I had some like cramps that just felt like period cramps, but it would, there were no contractions or anything at that point.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: So the midwife said to just, you know, I took my temperature to make sure I didn't have a fever.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And they basically were like, okay, just chill at home, call us if anything changes.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And they did schedule, we did schedule a non-stress test for to go at five o'clock, 5 p.m., so like 12 hours later, to go to the birth center.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, that morning, Derek and I we went for a walk.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: We lived within walking distance of a lake with a nice walking path.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we just went for a walk.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I gave him a haircut because I needed to give him a haircut.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, it's gonna be a few weeks before I'm gonna like have that on my mind again.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I want your hair to look nice when we're like doing taking family photos and stuff.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, and then my mom was in town.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: She lives out of state, but she was in town planning to stay for like a couple weeks after a baby arrived.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: So she came around lunchtime and was making made Swedish meatballs because that's the meal I wanted to have after I gave birth.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And she makes such the best Swedish meatballs.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I went over after and was like, I want Swedish meatballs.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I literally ate Swedish meatballs, I think like every meal for like three days after that because she made so much.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that's amazing.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and around noon, I think I started using the contraction timer because I was starting to have contractions, but they were like 10-15 minutes apart and not that intense.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, my husband and I just had a very chill day.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: It was kind of nice that I went into labor on the weekend because if it had been a work day, I probably would have been like, well, just because he works from home, so I'd be like, just start working, and if things really pick up, I'll tell you.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: But we kind of just went about our normal weekend day, but it also was not a normal day.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're kind of like, is it happening?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it is because my water broke.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it's like something's happening in the near future.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So at five o'clock, we drove to the birth center and we like packed my like go bag and stuff just in case like we needed to stay at the birth center.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: But the we did the non-stress test and baby was doing great.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So they basically sent us home and and we did stop by Whole Foods and get a thing of castor oil, because the plan was if by like 5 a.m.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: like Sunday morning, so 24 hours after my water broke, if I hadn't started active labor by then, to that I would like take some castor oil to help get things moving.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I know, but I never didn't end up having to use that, which I'm really grateful for.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, so we went home, we got some ice cream at the store, and then went home, had dinner, and we watched a movie.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll never forget, we watched the movie, it's called The Fall Guy, and it's like an action movie, and it's really good.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the problem is, I will always remember that's when my contractions started picking up.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we're watching this really intense action movie, and like Mike, I'm like having to get up and move around and like you know, like press up against the wall because the contractions are getting really intense.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember it was towards the end of the movie, and there was, you know, a really intense action scene, and the volume was up kind of loud, and I'm mid-contraction.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Derek, can you turn the volume down?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So at some point in time, I'd like to go back and watch that movie because I feel like I didn't get to really enjoy it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's gonna bring you flashbacks.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna like that intense scene, you're gonna be like, oh my god.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's your movie you watch for this.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You are gone to labor, like, Derek, let's watch volume.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it'll help get things moving again.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're like you're like you'll hear it and your body will be like, Oh, time for contractions.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: We've been through this before.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was a good movie, but yeah, I just didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would have otherwise.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you were in labor or something.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so then after the movie ended, we um, I think around like 9 30 p.m.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: or so, we decided my my contractions were picking up, but we decided to try and just like, you know, get some rest because they were still, I think they were still like five or six minutes apart, so pretty close.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but not necessarily close enough to like, okay, let's head over to the birth center.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So like I laid in bed and then my husband laid on the couch so that if I needed to get up and move around, I would like he'd still be able to get a little rest.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I never ended up sleeping because literally every five minutes I'd have to like get on all, like I'd be laying down, about to fall asleep, and then a contraction would hit and I'd have to like stand up or get on all fours or something.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so then I was like, okay, well, if I'm not sleeping, I'm just gonna earlier in the day I had gotten in the shower and had like the hot water like on my back, and so that helped.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I went and did that for a little bit, but the contractions were definitely getting a lot more intense, and I was mostly feeling them in my lower back, so the water helped, but I was still and so then I was like, I think I need to start timing them again, and so I timed them, and then I realized that they were like two minutes apart all of a sudden.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so after about like 15 minutes of that, I called Derek in and I was like, I gotta go.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think that we need to call Ardula and the birth and call Ardula and then call the birth center.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then he looked at the contraction timer and he was like, Honey, those are really close together.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we called Ardula.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: We had told Ardula earlier in the day that my water had broken.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: So she was on standby, ready to go.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then so we called her to let her know, and then we called the like midwife line, like the pager line at the birth center.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because at this point it's like 11 p.m.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: midnight.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, that's just so funny.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I remember you saying that you definitely were like, we probably should have gone sooner than we did.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: I did not realize they were two minutes apart.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It happened so fast.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like they were like five minutes apart, and then all of a sudden, because you know they say like five minutes apart or four minutes apart for like an hour.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but these were all of a sudden within like 20 minutes, they were two minutes apart.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so then the midwife, so we talked to the midwife around midnight, and she said, Okay, plan to meet me at the birth center at 1 a.m.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: So around 12:30, we drove over and I had like a worship birth, like a birth worship playlist that I compiled.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we were listening to that.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: The contractions in the car were not fun.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: If I could go back, I would have been like in the backseat.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: You were in the front seat?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sitting in the front seat.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if I could go back, I would have been in the back seat, not strapped in and could have moved around.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, so we got to the birth center around 1 a.m.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: and um our doula got there pretty soon after we did.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so then we walked into the um, they had like two birth suites.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that that there was no one in the other one, which was nice at the time.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so then went in there, and then um the midwife had to check like how dilated I was, like check my cervix to see because the birth center's policy was if you're less than five centimeters dilated, they'll send you back home.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so they she checked, which it wasn't painful, but it was definitely uncomfortable to have to like lay down.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then she did wait till I was like between contractions, so that was helpful.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, okay, contraction ended quick, check my cervix, and so I was already eight centimeters, and so she turned on the like started filling up the birth tub with her with water, and so but the time waiting to be able to get into the birth tub was in a lot of pain.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I think I don't remember much of what my doula did.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: She was great, but I just I don't remember a ton, but I do remember there was I was waiting to get into the birth tub because it just wasn't full yet, and I just was kind of kind of freaking out because it was starting to get really intense, and she just said deep cleansing breaths, and that I feel like just helped ground me so much.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I still remember that to this day.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally the tub was full enough for me to get in and definitely relaxed once I got in the tub, and then I don't remember, so that was probably around 1:30 or so, and then it's all kind of a blur after that.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just remember at one point the contractions, I started feeling like the urge to push.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember telling my midwife, my the midwife that, and she was like, Oh, good, like, listen to that.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, and then it started picking up, and then eventually, you know, they what the you know, when the baby's crowning and like stretching and what they call the ring of fire, which I don't like using that term, but I feel like was the term that you used instead.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to remember it.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even remember I remember we were talking about birth, and you said, like, I want to refer to it as something else, like really intense stretching, yeah, or something, but there was it was something, and I was like, that was a very positive way to look at it because obviously it's painful, yeah, and like it is very much stretching.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it was like ring of fire is terrifying, yeah.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so there was another phrase that you used, but I couldn't remember.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: There might have been something about just stretching, but yeah.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that was very intense.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember at one point thinking like I or like even ask saying to the midwife, like, I'm not gonna snap in half, am I?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't respond.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if she heard me.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's just wanna say she might have just been really focused on something else.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I you know, I was mostly just like saying that to myself.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I knew I wasn't, and so that must have been transitioned because I've heard that you know, when you get to the point where you're like, I can't take this anymore, I can't do this anymore.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's usually when your things are about to really amp up.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so then pushed for a while, and then um baby's head came out, and then I just remember having a really big push, and then the baby just like felt baby-like.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: The term I liked the term that I think to use is the baby just kind of slithered around out.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, and then yeah, they maybe just like put baby on my chest um with a blanket or like a towel or something, and I asked the doula to take a picture really quick because we didn't we don't have a ton of pictures of the birth, which is fine.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: But my favorite picture of the birth is I'm in the birthtub.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: I literally gave birth to my son like a minute ago, and my husband's like behind me, like outside the birth tub, but just behind me, and just you know, that picture of like had literally just given birth, so that's a really special picture.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know Emma, you sent that to us when you told us, and I remember I think dad was like, Wow, she looks so tired.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And on my first thing, I was like, You look so happy.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was my first.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, you obviously look tired, it's like 2 a.m.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: and you really birthed a baby, but you just like the like joy on your face was just like I was like, you just look so happy, and we're just like so proud.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh that picture.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: So they helped me, everyone helped me because there was a midwife there and nurse, and so and and Ardula, and so they all kind of helped me out of the tub, and then because they had like a big king-size bed, so they helped me, like, and the nurse like held the baby on my chest while because I hadn't delivered the placenta yet, and so then got me onto the bed, and um yeah, so eventually I delivered the placenta, and yeah, and so that first golden hour was really lovely, like they didn't take the baby off of me or anything, and so I mean, eventually they I think after that first hour they did to like weigh him and make sure he was good, but there was no concern, so he was able to just be on me and he latched like really within those first couple of hours, and so my husband cut the umbilical cord and stuff, so then midwife took me on a tour of my placenta, so that was fun.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know I think that's so cool, it was crazy to look at it, yeah.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, we were there.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: The birth center has a pretty quick like send you home rate or like timeline.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so because baby was born at like 3 22 a.m.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: and around 7, 7:30, they were like, Go on home.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: I would have stayed a little longer, my husband was ready to go, but it was also just really good to be home because they were saying like newborns can have a longer stretch of like four to six hours of sleep, like pretty soon after they're born.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that when we were driving home, that kind of interrupted that.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: So then how did God show up for you in your birth?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there were I was thinking back to this, and there was like I feel like a few main ways.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: One is I'm so grateful that I was able to labor mostly at home.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I got to the birth center like two hours before our son was born.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that was I mean, on the one hand, I'm like, maybe we should have gone earlier, but I'm like, I don't regret like being at home.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, and you want to you probably progressed so fast because you were in your own environment.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it makes a difference.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: So because that's what I was wanting.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was wanting to labor at home.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: For as long as possible.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've, yeah, and that because a lot of times that will help labor progress faster because you are in a like more comfortable environment.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm grateful that, you know, it was also in the middle of the night, so it was dark, and it's not like there was a lot of activity at the birth center.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was literally just like us and the midwife when we got there.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like the nurse wasn't even there yet.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or our doula.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I'm grateful that at least for this birth, I was able to like, you know, be at the birth center where there was the dim lights and it was dark and stuff.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: So and then one of the, I feel like one of the really cool ways that God showed up that just really ministered to me is the nurse that was there.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because I had a a worship playlist playing in the background, and there would be times in between contractions where I'd be kind of like swaying in the birth tub and like singing a little bit.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I there were times I looked up and the nurse was like swaying and like singing to the music.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, well, obviously, if she's like knows these worship songs, like she's a believer too.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so that just really encouraged me.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then after my son was born, she and I were chatting, and she and I went to the same university.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: She graduated, I think she graduated like three years before me.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a cool connection.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that was really fun.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then the birth I just felt like was so peaceful, which is what I had been praying for.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I just was so grateful to the Lord for that.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And how did you like kind of going back to how you prepared?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Did you do anything?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did you make a vision board for your birth?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Was there a specific way that you were praying over your birth?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I did make a vision board.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: You had actually given me the contact information for a friend who had had like a couple natural births.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I chatted with her on the phone, and that's one thing that she recommended was um, you know, making a vision board for the birth.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I did, I like got some magazines at the thrift store and cut it out.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I did make a vision board and I had it on, I mean, it was small, it was just like a piece of printer paper.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I put it on our fridge, and so you know, I'd see it multiple times a day and just kind of like pray over it and pray for those things.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing that that um woman that I talked to said that really stuck with me is to like pray and like contend for the birth that you want.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's yeah, so I really prayed it, you know, I tried to not just pray like, okay, Lord, here's my like laundry list of things I want my birth.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, Lord, like I'm believing, yeah, believing for for this, you know, you know, holding it with open hands because it's like, you know, you never know what's gonna happen.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Babies sometimes aren't in the best position, and that can make, you know, that can bring its own challenges, and you know, things can come up, and so, but also at the same time, it's like we can believe and pray for it.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: He wants us, yeah.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: He wants he like we're his daughters, you know, and he wants what is like best for us, and he wants what we want, you know.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think he wants us to have like at least I believe like he wants every woman to have like a yeah, straightforward, uncomplicated, positive birth experience.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what he designed our bodies to do.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so and I think that is a hard balance of fully surrendering, but also but then also just believing in, yeah, that God is gonna provide what we're praying for.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And like I think there's specific things that we can pray for that are powerful and give us kind of peace going into it.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think one other thing that was really helpful is I really spent a lot of time when I was pregnant focusing on my mindset around birth because you know, just book things I was reading and podcasts I was listening to that our culture just has such a negative narrative around birth, and even just the language we use that it's like painful, it's something to be afraid of.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: So just really try trying to like wash my mind with truth of like God designed my body to do this, my body knows how to give birth, my baby knows how to be birthed.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because they do a lot of partnership between like you're who and your baby, and so that really helped too of going into it, like not from a place of fear.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's uncertainty.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I had never given birth before, so I didn't know what to expect.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: But it was also like my butt, like going in with confidence of like, yeah, my body knows how to do this.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's like one of the main reasons I wanted to start this because I feel like birth is so there's just so much fear.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we and even if things are meant with good intention, can plant fear.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even questions that people ask are like, oh, have you thought of this?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, oh my gosh, I haven't thought of this.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then even if they mean it from a place of love, it can be a oh my gosh, I need to restort this.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think also just the day and age we're in of social media has there's just so much out there.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that was something in pregnancy, at least for me, that was hard of like, I need to just not look at those things.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like the algorithm just knew to push me things.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Of like that for some reason I it was like, yeah, that was just like I cannot see this right now.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's like, Lord, take that out of my mind.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I cannot have this in my mind.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like that happened to me the other day because yeah, I'm like five months pregnant right now, and yeah, it's just I can log on to social media and see this thing about like this like negative birth thing.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, yeah, I do.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I do not need this.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: No one does.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the thing.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, no one does, even if you're not pregnant, like you don't need that in your mind.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: How was your postpartum experience?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my postpartum experience was honestly really good.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously, hard in so many ways.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: But when I think of, you know, part postpartum, like my mom was in town for the first both of our both my husband's and my sets of parents live out of state.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so my mom was in town for the first couple weeks after our son was born.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so she would come over.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Our apartment was too small for her to stay with us.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: But we had some friends from our church who live literally like two minutes down the road, so she stayed super close by.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: So she would pop over each day.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like we got home after our son was born, and like four hours later she came over and like met her first grandbaby and stuff, and so that was so helpful because she was like helping cook meals, she was communicating with people on our meal train, like helping clean, do laundry, so that was really helpful.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, the second week she wasn't there quite as much, you know.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: So it was kind of a gradual, like, you know, need a lot more support that first week, especially.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then my husband's mom, so my mother-in-law came like a few days after my mom went back home.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and she was here for a couple weeks again, same thing, didn't stay with us, but would come over each day.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was it was so helpful to have that grandparent support for basically the first month.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then by the time my in-laws left, like it we were both my husband and I were kind of like, yeah, we got this.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, there's still a learning curve.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: We were grateful for the help, but we were also like, Okay, you guys can go now.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like we need to establish space, yeah.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: We need to establish like our family rhythms and stuff.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, and my husband got uh the first two weeks off from work, so that was really helpful too to have him home and just being available more to like help out and stuff.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything that you did specifically to kind of prepare for postpartum at all?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: I did prep some freezer meals.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really just and I think even just being intentional about like wanting, you know, welcoming like grandparent help and stuff, and just communicating with my mom and my mother-in-law about like this is what would be really helpful, like when you're here, like to do these things.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I really kind of tasked them with like preparing, like making food.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, please feed me.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that really helped a lot.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then you set up a meal train for us, and so that was really helpful.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, that was another aspect of postpartum.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: People bringing meals made such a huge difference, and then yeah, those are the main things.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I feel like postpartum overall went very well.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything you wish you would have known more going into postpartum?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there was a couple things.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think one is I wish I had prepped more freezer meals.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I prepped a few, but I was working, I did I quit my job like a couple weeks before our son was born.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but I didn't, but the time leading up to that was just so busy and I was so tired.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was my last month of pregnancy.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I prepped a few meals, but I wish I had prepped more.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: But so I'm hoping to, I'm not hoping, planning to do that different this time around.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: So because we have a our the house we bought a year ago came with like a big standing freezer in the basement.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: So my goal is to have that full by the time baby arrives.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: So and then I think the other thing I wish I'd known going into postpartum is how much the baby would need me.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I was fully prepared for that.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think that were you expecting it to be able to like 50-50 with Derek?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that's not true?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily 50-50, but just like for him to be able to take on more like baby care.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and it was just because it was also tough because I mean he had the first couple weeks off, but we both knew like once he went back to work, like the nighttime stuff, like I was mainly gonna have to do that because I was a stay-at-home mom.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't have any pets, we didn't have any other kids, so it's like if it was a rough night, I could literally just like lay in bed with the baby all day.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so it was just different, and so but I did I think I just wasn't prepared for like how much a newborn baby like needs their mother, you know, because Derek would try and comfort the baby and like soothe the baby, and like it just was not going well, and then he would hand the baby back to me and like within moments just settle.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that if I had gone into if I had gone into like the newborn phase with more realistic expectations around that, I think that that would have helped a lot, and I think that also would have eased some tension between my husband and I too.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, that makes sense because you feel like he got a little like frustrated in that season when he's trying to come for him, but he really just needed you.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, you know, if I'm having expectations on for him that aren't realistic, then like you know, that's like you're expecting him to come for him, but JJ just needs you.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's not me, he doesn't have the boob.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the boob is real, yeah, yeah.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your birth story and being honest about just kind of the things you struggled with, and just um, it's really cool to hear how God provided for you in this in the season and in your birth, and just kind of just even the nurse being there and the people who are there for you.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um so kind of last few questions.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like right now, what is your favorite thing about being a mom?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Favorite thing about being a mom.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: I just love watching my son grow.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I take a lot of inspiration and have learned a lot from like reading different Montessori parenting books, and they really place a lot of emphasis on empowering your child to be as responsible and capable as they're able to be at their age.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think as my because my son's our son's two now, he turned two like a month ago, and so just as he's getting more capable and like you know, even just walking and running and stuff, just being able to step back a bit more and let him try things and just just like me witnessing like how capable he is.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so I'm just excited to watch that grow more.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so fun.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks so much for being here and chatting with me.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, thank you so much for having me.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any like books or resources that like really really helped you in birth that you would want or you'd recommend to share with anyone?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the first one would be anime's guide to cultural childbirth.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you got Google Ename's guide to childbirth, that might not be the right words, but it'll come up at the top of the list.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: That one was really helpful, really just for helping me develop and be intentional about the mindset that I had around birth.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the I think that's the top one I that I would recommend.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then one other one would be the first 40 days.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really that one focuses on preparing for postpartum.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like the first 40 days is like the first six weeks postpartum.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that one was really helpful.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: They have a lot of recipes.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't necessarily love all, I didn't really use the recipe portion, but even just the they have a really good, even just food list.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like that's a really good if even if you don't use the specific recipes she has.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, foods to prioritize.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Foods to prioritize or like to kind of avoid and like why.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that was just like helpful because then you could kind of relate it to the recipes that you have and make.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: So even like you know, they recommend eating like cook cooked vegetables versus raw because cooked ones are easier for your like body to digest in that season and stuff, yeah.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: So well, thank you so much.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you sharing your birth story with us.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: And excited for to hear your next birth story too.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, gonna be soon.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's coming up.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not too soon, but soon.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's still like a little over three months away.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of a little bit more.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, three and a half, yeah.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, love you.