Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #183: Navigating Judgmental Conversations

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Episode #183: Navigating Judgmental Conversations · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:02
All right, everybody, welcome to tea time with Amy and Bev would thinks
0:07
a little different. Good day going with the floor, right, We're just
0:12
doing what we can do when we can do it. That's right. Flexibility,
0:17
it's our middle name. How are things going? Oh? Very good.
0:23
Went to Pacing this weekend for a ser Optimus Fall meeting. Interesting to
0:31
be around all the personalities in one room. Yeah. So there were a
0:42
few where I just I didn't even want to be next next to them or
0:46
near them. I would just walk way around or void or whatever, because
0:54
I just it was the negativity was way too much, and to not be
1:02
able to say anything good about anything. It's just after a while, you're
1:06
just done right and you just But actually, for me, in the beginning,
1:10
it's like I already knew this is not a person I want to be
1:12
around, so we're just not gonna be by them. Nice, I hear
1:25
you. But yeah, it was a good trip. Nice. So how
1:33
about you? What's going on? You know, I'm doing good. I
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actually went to my niece's wedding on Saturday, which was wonderful. We went
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up to a resort that was up off a vulture mine, you know,
1:45
in Wickenberg or whatever, and it was freaking awesome outside I got there.
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We got there, my daughter, my oldest daughter, and two of my
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grandchildren were with us with me, and we went up there and we got
1:57
there early because I thought, well, I just want to get there early.
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And we got there and we got to go into my niece's Basically they're
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suitees they were gonna be staying in, but everybody's getting ready, they're getting
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their makeup all done. And I got to hold my baby, my grand
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baby and my grand babies when of the grand babies were around too, and
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it's like all the family was there. And then my nephew showed up,
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which I don't see him very often, and it was just wonderful. It
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really was to have all that opportunity to have the conversations, just sit there
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and to kind of watch people and just be in a different space. And
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before that, I was kind of stressed out, not fully stressed out,
2:30
because I could say that I was stressed out. In the past, I
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would be extremely stressed out, but like little things worrying about like I couldn't
2:37
find I was looking for heels and we don't have any shopping in town.
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And my sister's like, oh yeah, I ordered shoes, you know,
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like five different pairs of shoes at a time from Amazon or wherever to try
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them on to send them back. I'm like, that's way too much work.
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So I had looked around town and nothing can't shown up. And in
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that morning, I just happened to see a pair of my flats that were
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in there because I couldn't find anything, and I'm like, well, screwed,
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I'm just going to wear these right, And then I started to stress
3:00
about little things, you know, little things. I'm like, no,
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I'm not doing this. That's the old behaviors, that's the old patterns of
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not being good enough. And so I just I just got ready got When
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Iver met my daughter, she pulled up about a few minutes just before I
3:15
did. It was awesome. So the drive was awesome. We got to
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have great conversations. And then the wedding was short and sweet, and I
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loved short and sweet weddings. It's perfect. And then the reception was beautiful.
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We were on grass and it was like surrounded by all these flowers and
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it was very like secluded but not and we had all these hummingbirds are flying
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around the butterflies are like just coasting through. It was magical. And then
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to listen to all the cheers and the toast that they were given afterwards,
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to kind of get a different perspective on people, because you can get a
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perspective from other people. And that's what I mean. We've talked about this
3:51
in the past, the judgment stuff, and then if we take along that
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judgment, now we're seeing through kind of like a dirty lens when we're looking
3:58
at somebody that's none of that it's true. And then seeing the support system
4:02
that was around them and just how people stepped up and it was it was
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pretty phenomenal. It was a magical, magical day. We got home kind
4:13
of late, but we got home safe, so it was it was awesome.
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It was just a great day. It was a great day. That's
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cool. Well, I officiated a wedding a week ago and it was I'd
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have to say it was probably the first wedding I've officiated where everything was just
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really uplifting and fun and laughter even the day of and and so just yeah,
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being in a in a space like that, it just makes it a
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lot of fun. So and you get to watch them like you get to
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watch them and see how the people connect and see I could see how my
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niece and her now husband, how they connect with each other, and how
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there's such a love there. And it's just it's nice to witness that kind
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of those kind of things. Really, it really is. And that's you
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know, just being a witness too, so observing and watching how people interact.
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I mean, I've talked about this several times that when I'm observing people,
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I make note of what is it I like about them or their interaction,
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what is it I don't like about them? And then we'll do the
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internal of am I showing up like that in ways that I don't like?
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Or am I showing up in ways that I do like about them? And
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if I'm not, can I start incorporating that? So I love watching.
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I'm a people watcher, you know, introverts that we just we're very quiet
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and we can just sit and watch and listen for hours. At least.
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I can so go into a mall, go into an event. I could
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just sit there watch people for hours and be good with it. But at
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the same time, it's it's making mental notes of what I like, what
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I don't like, and so yeah, I haven't told my mother in law.
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One time, I said, listen, if you get to be negative,
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Nancy, I'm gonna slap me. I was just like, we ain't
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having that, we ain'txplaining that. So because I'm sure we'll be the ones
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taking care of her, I'm like ninety nine percent sure on that one.
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But I was like, even just making acknowledgments with people that are around me,
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because I've even told her, I'm like, listen, if I get
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to be super negative, bring it to my attention, because a lot of
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time when we're doing things like that and everybody else is doing it too,
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nobody's going to make acknowledgement of it, right because they're all wrapped up in
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the drama. So somebody who even like somebody like you, I've asked,
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you know, if I seem like I'm being pretty negative about something, or
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I'm talking in ways that just is kind of out of alignment, then bring
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it to my attention, because you just don't know. You just a lot
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of people don't really hear themselves when they're speaking in that way, even being
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judgmental, right, talking about others and putting them down, and it's just
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a it's a norm. It's a norm for people, and I sit there
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and listen to it, and I'm just like, Okay, have mental awareness,
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but do I want to be in this conversation? And you know,
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a lot of times I'll see if I can throw you know, those little
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positive aspects out there into the conversation and just kind of mix it up a
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little bit and see if it can break that up. So I like that.
8:03
But it's true, and it's not getting all wrapped up into all of
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it either, because it's it can be easy because that's that's the old patterns,
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right, that's the old thought patterns. It's easy to get into that
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space. But it's recognizing I don't want to be talking about others, not
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because I don't want to be being talked about ether bird, and that's not
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part of my process. And it's just recognizing again we've talked about this,
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but going within and why is it shown up for me? And for me
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a lot of times it was because I was judging myself. And I'm getting
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into a space that's more and more like I appreciate where I'm at. Period.
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Period. It doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be anything that
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I have to judge and if it's just like we've talked about it recently,
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I wasn't going to get my hair done. I was going to let it
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start growing out, and then I went and got my hair done, and
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it's like, oh, I kind of like it. Like that, I'm
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gonna keep going with it for now, so and that's okay. It's our
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primitive to change our minds on things, and it's like whatever makes us feel
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good, right because it's not hurting anybody, it's being thoughtful, and it's
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honoring self. Like I've got so many things. I mean, I get
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to go for acupuncture again tomorrow, so that's going to be interesting to see
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how it shows up in my body or how my body responds to it because
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I won't even go to the gym, and normally I would have in the
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past because I would have been pushing through everything. And I'm kind of It's
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interesting the stuff that's coming forward for me right now, the information that's coming
9:18
forward with me, and I've listened to different card readings on YouTube or you
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know, things that might be specific to a Taurus, and the information that's
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coming forward for me and how it's resonating with me and how it's making sense.
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But it's also talking about how we were processing things that I'm like,
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I'm processing things now and I'm not discussing it with anybody. I don't talk
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to anybody about it. Are there's things that I'm processing right these days that
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I'm just kind of like taking a mental note And it's just like going to
9:46
the wedding. It's seeing the things that you want in a relationship and the
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things that you don't want, right, because that's how we can grow because
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we let's face it, if I looked at my parents as role models,
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there's only probably a little bit of stuff that I'm going to gather from that
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to be able to create a relationship that I want. So it's still seeing
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other things for relationships. And it doesn't mean you're intimate your partner. It
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can mean relationships with work. It can mean relationships with your children, your
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grandchildren, people, your friends. So it's it's also recognizing all those things.
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But I hear all that stuff and I process that stuff and I'm like,
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well, that's interesting because then I know those are like cues and clues
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for me. That's like, oh, okay, I know this is for
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me because this is what it's talking about. And I know, yes,
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that is true. This is what I'm doing at this time. I'm noticing
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things and I'm just taking note of it them I'm kind of processing it to
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the same thing you're just talking about, just sitting back and kind of watching
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things, being aware of things, and it does. It changes a lot.
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And then also when you start noticing that your own emotions start to come
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up. And the emotions are okay to come up, but it's recognizing are
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they your emotions, where are they coming from? What is this about?
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What can I learn from this? And how can I evolve from it?
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So not holding on to it's like so life every day is an experience to
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see what you want, what you don't want. Yeah, you know,
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I had a conversation. I'm teaching the middle of teaching a class right now.
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It's on chakras, and I'm giving them journaling prompts, like three journaling
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prompts to just utilize over the course of the week until we come back for
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the next class. And one of the ladies was talking about how her mind's
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super busy and she's, you know, she's got all this stuff going on
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and processing it and I said, you know, if you grab a pen
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and paper and just write it out to kind of just dump it out of
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your head, right like a mind dump is. Just get it out of
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your head and then you can look at it also from another angle. And
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she replied with, well, journaling is just not my thing. I said,
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okay, well, then talk it out. Talk, talk to a
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pillow, talk, do something to start getting that internal to the external,
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because we typically we can see it and process it even more so when it's
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outside of us and we're looking at those pieces, and then things can sometimes
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get even more clearer or you get solutions quicker. But it's like you got
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all that stuff jumbled up inside with everything else on your day to day basis,
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uh and anything else like future based, and it's like, let's let's
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move some of that outside of us so that we can process it even better.
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And then to even go even more basic than that, because I've faced
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the same thing talking to people. They'll say simpler things meditation, they can't
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do it, or you know that you hear you hear all the doors being
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slammed of the possibilities that can be beneficial, and I'm like, simply,
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I'll be like, well, listen to music, seeing dance, like get
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to the basic stuff and then see what you're guided towards. Sometimes it's just
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really that simple, not putting so much thought into it. Because there I
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had a family member recently the same thing, and I'm like, well try
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journaling. Oh well, yeah that doesn't work for me. Oh okay.
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If you say it doesn't, it doesn't. That's the way I look at
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it. If you like, if I strongly believe that going to this and
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this is a good example, If I strongly believe going to this acupuncturist is
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going to help me to correct my side or change my site, it's going
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to happen. Period. It's just my belief, my faith, my knowing
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in it. Actually it's not even so much knowing. It's just a belief
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in a faith. I just just well, I don't know. I could
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probably say I could probably go along with a knowing thing, but it's just
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being in that space and in that general area. If someone else believes that
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a doctor is going to heal them, then a doctor's going to heal them.
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And maybe they think, oh well I haven't found the right doctor to
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heal me, so then they'll be constantly looking. It's just it's interesting because
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it's it's whatever we put our thoughts into, how we're creating things, not
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realizing that I can just sit here and write on a piece of paper every
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single day about how my experiences are and how I'm surrounded by love and a
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full all my relationships are full of love and giving and supportive and you know,
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going along that path and they are so I mean, it's just we're
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creating as we go, and it's like, I'd rather write my own story
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than let someone else write my story. I spent the first part of my
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life, most of my life, letting someone else write my own story and
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then then claimed victim to it. Right, you did this to me,
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that's right, But I've learned it was not any It was not It doesn't
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matter what someone else does, it doesn't mean it's being done to me.
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Yeah, yeah, I you know that's something too. I have said in
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that in many of my classes is I wholeheartedly believe that we can heal ourselves.
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It doesn't matter what you have, what you've been diagnosed with, what's
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going on in your body. That I believe we can do that. We
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have the power to do that. It's actually been proven. Just saying so.
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It is the matter of how strong your belief is in anything. And
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like you said, if you believe journaling doesn't work, it's not going to
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work. If you believe meditation doesn't work, it's not going to work.
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Even though there's thousands, thousands of studies in how beneficial meditation is. There's
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thousands and thousands of studies of how people have healed themselves from terminal cancer,
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like given very short time to live and all of a sudden they don't have
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it. So there's proven cases, proven studies about all of it. It
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is our own belief in anything. It's just same thing with the placebo,
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right when the doctor says, okay, well this pill is gonna reduce the
16:14
inflammation and you're going to feel better, and la la, la, la
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la, and so they take it because the doctor said it's going to help
16:21
them, and it helps them, and then come to find out it's really
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just a sugar pill. That's how powerful mind is and how powerful our belief
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system is that affects our body so much. So absolutely does it mean that
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if I ever get a disease that I'm going to be able to cure It
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depends on what's going on with me. Maybe I just maybe I don't want
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to live any longer, and I just this is it. I'm done and
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give into it. Maybe I have the willpower and belief and desire to live
16:52
longer, and I do. It's just really is what's going on with the
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person and how much how much are they still hanging on to from the past,
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because I that's that's the monkey wrench I think is is you know,
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thinking about the path, Well, my mom had it, so I'm destined
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to have this and die from it at an early age. Okay, yes
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you are, let you leave. And then on the side of it,
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it's when it's time, it's time, right, right. Sometimes I think
17:30
when it's time, it's time, and we might struggle to try to stay
17:33
because we're in the fear of the transition. But when we know that what's
17:37
on what awaits us, it's there's not a fear and it's like, okay,
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when it's time, it's time. Yeah, so we celebrate. My
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best thing is like when Susann Gieseman's friends that was close to her and her
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her group and she had transitioned over and they had done healing on her beforehand.
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It didn't heal her body, but it healed her on a soul,
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not on a level, because the soul is really never harmed. We're having
18:03
an experience, but spiritually it healed her and then she was able to contact
18:07
them immediately after she transitioned to be that clear. And that's my goal because
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I want to make sure that I am as the clear vessel that when I
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leave, that I'm able to communicate to all my family and friends so they
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know that I'm here, so that I'm encouraging them, just as I'm being
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encouraged by my loved ones. Well I put it. I shared a post
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on social media and it said it said, don't don't be looking up towards
18:32
the stars for me in heaven. Be looking behind you running up the stairs,
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because I'll be chasing you. I'm like, that's back, that is
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me. I'm going to be yeah, awesome. So yeah, it's interesting
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that there is so much information out there that validates our abilities to do things
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and they're still studying even more. Like we know, scientists and doctors have
19:10
no clue as to the power, actual power we have within ourselves. And
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even you know, doctors, when you find a holistic way of moving through
19:25
some healing for your body, and the doctor has no explanation as to how
19:30
you did it. They don't want to hear it. So there are lots
19:38
of means of healing your body taking into account the information doctors provide. I
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think doctors are very beneficial. I've said this and I will continue to say
19:52
it. Doctors study the body, right, and so they have way more
19:57
knowledge than I do about how the body body operates, and so it's you
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know, they're important in knowing what's going on within you. Plus they have
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all the machines to do the tests and get the results. And and on
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the other side of that, we could say, if we were really tuned
20:26
into our body, our intuition would let us know. Our intuition would say,
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well, this is not going Wow, you got stuck energy here.
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Maybe if you ate these foods or took this supplement. Like that's an all
20:38
internal internal knowingness. To be that in tune with not only yourself and your
20:45
body, but that in tune with spiritual guidance. It's just it's amazing.
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I mean, I'm totally fascinated by it and by us and by everything that
21:00
that could even be possible that we could do, you know. And the
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other thing is almost as if if because the scientists again are all mostly looking
21:10
outside of themselves for this information, it would be interesting to see how much
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information they could find just by having that scientific mind, but going within and
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bringing forward that information. I feel like they would feel they would be able
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to give us much more information about how powerful we can be. And of
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course that would but only be on a person's perspective, their personal adventures,
21:30
like their own experiences that they've gone through in their life, because we've all
21:34
had different experiences. So it's it's interesting because a lot of that stuff is
21:37
outside of self. Again, we're looking outside of self or the information when
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we have all this access to this information withinside. But maybe that's not possible
21:45
to quantify that information when you're going within because it's so because it's so vast,
21:51
there's no limits, it's limitless. That would probably blow their mind.
21:53
So maybe it is better for them to stick to more of the what they
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can see and what they can you know, how they can explore all that
22:03
instead of being with them. It's just interesting. It's so interesting, so
22:07
fascinating, and I you know, I've mentioned these people before is Bruce lippt
22:14
In, Greg Braden and Joe Despenza. Those three are absolutely amazing as far
22:19
as their studies and their information and their knowledge, all being scientists and doctors
22:27
and having all kinds of experiences to validate the things that BEV and I are
22:36
talking about right now. And so it's like, do your research, do
22:40
dig into some other information to just know what's available to you on a holistic
22:45
basis. Remember doctor Wayne Dyer when he was giving his speeches, he said,
22:51
you know what, if somebody tells me that crystal chairs are going to
22:53
heal hemorrights, I'm going to try it. I'm getting a whole dining room
22:57
set at crystal chairs. That's hilarious. I haven't heard that, but that's
23:03
hilarious. I'm just saying. Yeah. He's like, i'll try. I'll
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try, and people say it'll work. He's like, I'll try it.
23:15
Worst case scenario, go in there and you feel huge vibes coming off the
23:18
crystal, and like, because that's a lot. It can be very much
23:21
just to sitting on a crystal chair and all of a sudden you start vibrating.
23:27
It's true. Well, and I have a few people. It's funny
23:30
that you say that, But I have a gal that she recently, in
23:33
the last year, lost her her husband passed away, and so she couldn't
23:38
sleep, and then she the way that she could get to sleep by b
23:41
was by meditation. And then she says, I don't know, my body's
23:44
buzzing all the time. And I said, we'll just sit with that,
23:47
like, sit with that and feel that, ask questions what that's what's that
23:51
to mean to you? What's going on with you? So it's just it's
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we're all having different experiences, and that's why it's so important for us to
24:00
talk to people, yeah, and share the information that we're gaining, and
24:04
share information like we talk about Next Level Soul with Alex Ferrari, we talked
24:08
about Suzanne Geeseman, Like we're talking about all these people because there's such a
24:14
wealth of knowledge and information that that you could utilize. I mean, Bev
24:21
and I are still, you know, continuously growing within ourselves, and so
24:27
even listening or reading this material or podcasts, we take what what feels good,
24:34
what feels good in that moment, what we can what we can process
24:40
and understand in that moment, and we might go back and listen to those
24:44
again in a month or six months and and swear that they re recorded the
24:48
whole entire podcast because we didn't hear what they said. And then we,
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you know, take some more information from it. So be open, must
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I think one of the biggest things is about being open to the information that
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is available. And you know, you know, when something resonates with you.
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We've talked about it several times. Is that that vibrational sensation or the
25:17
chills or some people call them god bumps, Like you feel that in your
25:22
body. And when somebody, when I'm talking to somebody and they're like,
25:25
oh my gosh, I just got the chills, I'm like, then I'm
25:26
speaking the truth. That is your indicator. I'm speaking the truth. So
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when you're listening to people, whether just in a general conversation, you're listening
25:37
to a spiritual teacher, a regular teacher, you're reading a book, you
25:41
get that sensation in your body or on your skin and it's just like ooh,
25:45
it's like ooh, that was yummy. Then that's what resonates. That's
25:49
what you want to take with you, and that's what you want to implement.
25:52
And and then that piece of information is going to lead you to the
25:57
next piece of information you're ready for. And that's one of thos I think
26:02
is key too, is Spirit knows what we're ready for. Spirit knows it.
26:07
And you know, things might seem pretty calm for a while and content,
26:12
and then there becomes a hiccup. You hit a brick wall, you
26:18
you stumble over a speed bump, get some bumps and bruises, because it's
26:21
time to level up. That's why I call it, it's time to level
26:23
up, because Spirit's like, Okay, you're ready. Now, let's let's
26:29
do some more growing, some more healings, some more learning, whatever it
26:32
might be, and be open to the tools the information that's available to you
26:40
to help you along that path. I mean, how many times have you
26:45
been in a chaotic situation somebody comes along and says, oh my gosh,
26:49
I talked to this person. They were wonderful and they helped me do this
26:52
and that, and you're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks,
26:56
and you do nothing about it, and you keep moving through this chaos,
27:02
you know, getting scrape and bumps and bruises along the way, and
27:06
you're like, man, this sucks. I wish it was how come this
27:10
happening? Right, we get into the blame and shame and all this stuff,
27:14
and it's like there was a person that came to you and said,
27:19
I know somebody who would help could help you, or I know somebody that
27:23
helped me through something similar to this, and you totally ignore it. You
27:26
totally deny because you're not open. So the same being open doesn't mean you
27:34
have to take you don't have to believe everything that somebody says, but it's
27:38
just you're just being open, like seeing what or how your body responds to
27:41
it. Being open and neutral because as soon as you catch yourself pushing against,
27:45
it can be for or against you. Really, I mean not against
27:48
you. It could be guiding you in a different direction, but it could
27:51
also be for you. And I just like when you talk, you know,
27:55
talk to me into doing the recording. So I was like when we
27:57
first started talking about that, even dude class, it's like, Nope,
28:00
that's not for me. Nope, not for me automatically push against. But
28:04
I recognized it was because it was triggering me because I had emotional I had
28:10
a lot of emotions from being a young teenager, young kid and not wanting
28:15
to be up in front of people and talking because it was scary because I
28:19
was afraid I was going to do something wrong. I was afraid I was
28:22
gonna be judged. I was afraid I wasn't worthy. And that's that's the
28:26
same boat I was in because I went through all that too. Somebody told
28:30
me, a lady Tolas psychic me and told me that I was a healer,
28:33
and I told her to f off. Ain't happening. I ain't doing
28:37
it. And then like two years later, I started doing it, and
28:41
then that led me to doing some coaching, and then that led me into
28:45
doing some teaching, and that led me into doing Facebook lives and knew and
28:52
I'm like, Okay, well, if I can do this, I know
28:56
I know somebody else who could do it, wink wink, which I appreciate.
29:03
I do appreciate because it helped me out on my journey really, and
29:06
why not do it with someone you know, with friends and people that you
29:08
trust. So it's like being able to listen to that, hear that and
29:12
kind of almost see yourself through someone else's eyes a bit. Really Yeah,
29:17
yeah, absolutely so, and feel supported and feel encouraging. Right, there's
29:26
all these positive things about it, and it's like, what an amazing opportunity
29:32
to be a part of. And so it's been great three and a half
29:36
years, almost three and a half years. That wild, it is wild
29:40
awesome, all right, sistery guy. Final words, I would say,
29:47
make time to make a magical week. It's your story, you're writing it,
29:51
you're painting the picture. What do you want to look like? That's
29:55
it and that's you know when somebody posts on on social media that they have
29:59
a like a change, they moved or they got a new job, or
30:03
that's similar to what I put in the comments, I'll say, but I'm
30:07
looking forward to hearing about the next chapter in your life. And remember you're
30:11
the author. Perfect, So you're the author, so you get to decide,
30:19
you get to write on the blank pages. That's right, awesome.
30:27
Well, my friends, we're keeping it short this time and still showing up.
30:34
We're just having to be very flexible in things that are happening in our
30:40
lives and do fitting this in where we can. But we still want to
30:45
show up for you as much as we can. And so I hope you
30:48
enjoy the conversation and if you've gotten anything out of it, please implement something
30:52
at least one thing. Also, please share us with other people, with
30:56
your friends, your family, co workers, because that's why we do this,
31:02
right, is to show up and share these conversations and information and resources
31:07
to help other people on their journeys. So we're in this together, and
31:11
it's it's okay to not be okay, okay, yeah, but doesn't mean
31:18
you got to stay there, So that's right, all right. Thanks for
31:22
hanging out with us, teach time with Amy and Bev, and we will
31:26
see you next time.