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Why do NARCISSISTS want more than ONE PERSON · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how one person will not
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  cannot be enough for a narcissist If you knew her.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back folks. Yes, one person, one Uno UN will
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  not, cannot be enough for a narcissist.
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  And let me before I hop into today's episode y'all let me go
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  ahead and say this. Let me preface this episode by
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  saying this. It's not you.
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  Shout out to Doctor Romney in her book.
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  It is not you. One person cannot will not be
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  enough for a narcissist for most narcissists, right?
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  It's not you. It's not about you.
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  It's about the narcissist themselves.
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  So when I do this video while I'm making this video, don't
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  take it as a personal attack on you, Willie.
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  You pretty much just spent the whole video telling me that I
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  will never be enough for this person.
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  Yes, but it's not on you. It's not a personal attack.
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  I didn't. I didn't name you you look, I
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  didn't point you out in the lineup.
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  I didn't just say yes, yes, you're yes, officer, That one
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  right here. Number six.
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  No, I didn't say that because it's not about you.
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  It's about the narcissist inside of them.
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  I this is I feel like so many people get disconnected right
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  here is that we take it personally.
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  Will Lee got Will Lee. Damn it.
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  It's it's how can we like Lee? There are personal attacks.
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  How could we not take a personal attack personally?
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  Because the personal attack that was levied, why did it start?
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  Where did it come from? Who did it come from?
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  It came from from a person that is lacking self love, a person
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  that is lacking, experiencing lack, internal lack.
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  They are lacking. They just are.
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  It's not about you. I promise you it's not.
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  It's about the lack that narcissists have within
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  themselves, within themselves, within ourselves.
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  I'm a narcissist. It's a lack we always feel like
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  we always feel like we're missing something.
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  So we could be, we could be seemingly happy and content in a
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  relationship. And also we'll go somebody and
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  leave. We'll leave this person for
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  someone else because there's a lack, there's an internal lack.
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  There's a deficit inside of us that nobody can feel.
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  So you nobody, no one can feel it.
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  You can't. Y'all outlook?
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  I will give you $100 if you can fill this cup with water without
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  adding anything. No tape on the sides, no band
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  aids, no nothing. You can't.
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  The only thing you have is this cup.
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  You see how this cup is made. You see this cup, you see
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  there's holes everywhere and the only thing you can do is take
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  this cup and pour, pour the water into it.
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  I will give you $100 if you can fill this cup to the top because
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  this is what you're trying to do with a narcissist in your life.
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  This is what you're trying to do.
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  You're trying to fill a cup with holes in it to the top.
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  You can't. You can't.
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  You're going to waste a lot of time, effort, energy, love,
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  affection, money trying to give your all to a person that you
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  they cannot be fulfilled. We cannot be filled.
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  Well, Lee, you're married. So this is bold faced lie.
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  You a bald headed lie, Lee. Every time you Lee, every time
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  you lie, a dread fall out. Look, I'm full, I'm fully
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  haired. I'm haired up.
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  My hair has gotten a lot of bounce to it because I'm not
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  lying like I've been in psychotherapy for seven years
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  because it helps me feel better about myself.
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  And when I feel better about myself, I treat other people
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  around me better. You see, when I'm feeling better
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  about myself, I treat the people around me better.
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  I work on me. For me, therapy allows me.
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  I'm like this. I was like this originally.
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  I'm still like this. I had This is me.
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  Therapy allowed me to bandage up my own cup.
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  I still don't feel like I can be fulfilled to the top, but
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  therapy has allowed me to bandage myself up a little bit.
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  You see what I'm saying? Therapy has allowed me to
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  bandage myself up so I can get a little bit of fulfillment.
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  You see what I'm saying? I can know, I can feel.
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  And the longer I stay in therapy, the more I work on
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  myself, the more that I might be able to get fulfilled.
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  I don't know if I'll ever be able to be fully fulfilled.
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  I'm not here. I'm not here cheating and lying.
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  I'm good. You see what I'm saying?
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  I'm good. I'm Gucci with the kids.
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  With the kids say I'm Gucci. Gookie, you are going to waste a
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  lot of your time, effort, energy and like soul power trying to
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  make this person happy. And I hate, I hate, I hate it
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  for some people. Y'all?
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  I hate it for I hate it for so many people.
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  You mean I hate it for so many people?
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  Well, I do. So yeah, I still do my
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  one-on-one coaching over Zoom. I have my support, my growing
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  thriving support group of people who are trying to win, right,
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  Who are trying to win. I have a growing support group.
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  I have like my one-on-one community.
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  I have one on ones that I do. I thought there's so many people
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  that are just in dire straits trying to fulfill somebody that
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  cannot be fulfilled. Trying to fill somebody up that
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  is draining them, that is draining them believe if I love
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  them a little bit more, what do you expect to happen?
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  Your love cannot bandage up the the cup where the cup go.
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  Your love cannot bandage this cup up.
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  Look, somebody just join a support group.
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  See, yay, some literally somebody just join the support
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  group right there. Love it, love it, love it
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  because other people want to get their help, get their help and
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  get their healing. They join the support group,
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  they write a post, they introduce themselves, and I
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  always respond. We respond to every introduction
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  but the support group links to the bio
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  courses.mentalillness.net. You can find it there.
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  But I want y'all to win so damn bad.
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  Y'all get I I just really want to want y'all to then why I get
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  so it drains. It's damn near drains me
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  sometimes when I hear y'all draining yourself, trying to
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  make somebody else happy. They can't be happy.
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  I'm like, damn it, come on man, I want you to win so bad, but I
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  can't want it more than you do. I can't want you to win more
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  than you want you to win What? What sense does that make y'all?
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  One person just won't be enough. And it's not about the one
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  person, it's about the it's about the person that feels like
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  the if a narcissist feels like they are not enough, then how
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  can you be? How can you be enough for them?
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  You see what I'm saying? Whatever type of supply that
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  whatever type of supply or validation that that narcissist
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  is getting from you originally, it goes away.
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  It fades into Bolivian. You know what I mean?
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  It fades into oblivion. I said Bolivian, it fades into
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  oblivion and it's not your fault, y'all, It's not really
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  your fault. And I, I keep telling the
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  people, well, they, I feel like it's my fault because they keep
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  telling me it's my fault of court, y'all, Of course they're
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  going to tell you it's your fault.
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  It doesn't benefit them to, you know, it doesn't benefit them to
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  say it's their fault, so they're going to put it on you.
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  It doesn't benefit me to say this.
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  It doesn't benefit me to, to, to take accountability.
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  It benefits me to blame you for my lack of happiness.
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  It benefits me to put my, my, the, the burden of my healing on
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  you. It benefits me.
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  You see, that's the mindset, that's the dynamic.
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  I want y'all to win so damn bad. I do like come through.
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  Come on, like the game, like I do like when I'm telling y'all,
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  I want y'all to win. This is what I mean.
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  This is absolutely what I mean. So many people struggle.
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  So many people are struggling when you're dealing with
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  narcissists, right? So many people are just super
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  struggling because you feel like you can do more.
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  You can't. You can try.
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  They'll tell y'all. The narcissists will tell you
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  that you need to try harder and guess what happens?
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  You try harder. You can do exactly what they
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  say. They can give you a damn
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  checklist of things to write off.
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  I see like this is my remarkable tablet, right?
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  This is my remarkable 2 tablet. They can give you a checklist of
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  things to write, of things to do.
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  They can say you need to do this, this, this.
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  Y'all see that? I know y'all see the tablet?
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  Y'all see it. This this, this.
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  It's electronic tablet. I don't know that this is I keep
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  all my notes set. It's just like a regular tablet
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  you can erase and all the other stuff.
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  It's electronic, it's beautiful. It's beautiful.
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  They can give you an entire checklist.
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  You can check every box and it still won't be enough.
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  They'll start adding more boxes to why they're behaving.
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  They're treating you in a certain type of way.
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  They'll start making you feel like you're not doing enough
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  again. You'll be like, dad, what more
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  do I need to do? What more can I say?
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  What more can I look? I'm giving you my all and they
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  will tell you that your all is not good enough.
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  You can give them your all and your all won't be good enough
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  and that'll make you feel like you're not good enough.
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  It has nothing to do with you. You see what I'm saying?
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  It has very little to do with you.
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  You can give them your all and your all won't be good enough
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  because they are not. They don't feel like they
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  themselves are good enough. We are empty y'all.
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  I'm telling you when I tell y'all we are empty inside, I
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  mean that from the bottom of my heart.
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  We feel empty a lot of the times and our emptiness we it's like
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  it's down there, like we wear our emptiness.
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  We wear you can tell we feel empty.
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  So guess what? You as a healer, you as a person
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  who wants to heal, to help me grow, you try to fix me.
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  You want to fix me, else you, you can't.
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  You can't wait to fix me. Like I want to fix that boy.
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  I see that tall, dark and handsomely.
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  I want to fix. I'm going to fix his ass if I
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  can fix him, Boy, I got a good one.
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  I can fix him. I got a good one.
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  Oh no, I'm joking. But that's how people think
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  though. That's how many some of y'all
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  might think. You think about it, You think
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  that if you can fix this person, you got a good one, which makes
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  sense. And I'm not saying that it's
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  stupid to think that way. It makes sense because it was
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  good in the beginning, wasn't it?
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  So if you try harder, if you give them more, maybe they'll
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  treat you better, maybe they'll go back to the beginning because
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  they put it on to you while they're treating you like this
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  way or this way, right? So they always try to have more
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  backup supplies. They always try to have another
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  person that waiting in the wings to take your place.
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  They always try to do this. They always try to do that.
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  I want, I just want y'all to win.
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  That's literally all I want you all to do.
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  That's what I'll be I'll be just there.
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  I'm, I'm being screaming from the rooftops when I'll be like,
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  why do my one-on-one? Yeah, my one-on-one coaching is
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  not, is not for the faint, the faint.
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  I, I, I cater it to people. Of course, everybody's session
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  is going to be different, but I still want y'all to win.
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  They'll let you know that one person, no matter what you do,
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  they're always going to be asking for more.
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  You know, they're always going to be asking for more.
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  The reason it works with me and my wife is not because anything
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  my wife does, it's not like you know, it's not and not anything
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  that she does to change me is really is just me working on
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  myself and understanding my own value to myself, which allows
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  her to just love me. You just love me for being me.
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  So I don't put that on to y'all. It's not don't compare yourself
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  to my wife. Don't compare me to your
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  partner. Because this gets a lot of
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  people caught up and all I want to do is help people win y'all.
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  And shout out to shout out to the guy that came to me in the
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  gym the other day and hollered at me.
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  I thought his name was Quincy. Quincy.
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  Quincy came to me in the gym and hollered at me like man, you you
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  on YouTube? Yeah, he's like, man, my wife's
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  got some love. Y'all I love.
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  I love y'all ever see me in public anywhere around running
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  around North Carolina to save Kim.
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  Say hey, Tim, say hey to the narcissist.
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  It's the guy. I'm nice.
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  I promise you. Anyways, it's not you Narcissist
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  always might have this, this internal fear that we we are
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  missing out on something, right? We're missing out on something.
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  We need more and it's just not you like whatever form of supply
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  you get, it runs out. So they want more supply, they
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  want more validation. They want that new they want a
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  clean slate. That's sometimes they'll tell
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  you they want a clean slate because this one is too dirty.
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  They dirtied it up. What the hell you going dirtied
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  this slate up and tell me you want a clean one?
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  Get the hell out of here anyways, y'all, y'all know I'm
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  rooting for y'all like none other.
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  Be able to look out for some of my workshops and things that are
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  coming up here pretty soon. Y'all I said my next workshop is
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  going to be September the 14th in Washington DC.
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  I'm I'm creating the site for right now September the 14th
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  Washington DC workshop is in the works right now, September 14th,
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  2024 Catch you I don't know these videos might pop up in
• 13:09
  three years. This is out subscribe to this
• 13:12
  channel. This is out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 13:23
  another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 13:28
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.