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88: The Barghest Request · Dungeonpedia

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You the adventurer?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do you desire knowledge of immense worlds and arcane power?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: A codex of untold stories and lore?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps simply easy listening for your daily commute?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then feast your eyes, or more accurately, yes, upon Dungeon Pedia.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Shit's about to get nerdy in here.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Travis Peasley, and we have a very off-topic debate that we need help.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: It's not a debate.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: Settling debate.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: I no, I it can't be a debate if one person is right and I'm right.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, in this case, two people are right, but hey, whatever.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, it's whatever.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_04: So Oh, Travis, you agree with me.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_04: That's so nice.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_04: Negative.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I am literally drinking it right now.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you s uh.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So the debate is carbonated water.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Bad.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Good or bad?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Bad.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Two out of the three of us say it's good.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Wait.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: The other one doesn't really count.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: And our social media manager.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: And our social media many CJ involved in this.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: He likes carbonated water, so.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and surely it can't be me.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's the children who are wrong.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_04: Now I s no, sparkling water's fucking awful.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I will admit that whenever I was younger, I hated sparkling water.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so I never quite understood what the hell it was about and why people liked it, but for whatever reason, now I enjoy it.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_04: So you're saying it's an age thing.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you'll understand when you're older.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_04: I'll understand when I turn 25.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: That'll that'll change.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Except I was 24 when I really started drinking it, but you know.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's different for different people.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Don't I'm a late bloomer.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're a late bloomer.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: You know, man, no, sparkling water's bad.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_04: I can't like who who would go up and like order a club soda or buy a a a and pretend like they're having a good is it like a zoom tight.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_04: Is it like I don't know.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_04: And okay, you know what?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_04: I'm about to open another can of worms here.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: Oh boy.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: But it's it's like the vast majority of beer.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_04: Like, do people just order it and drink it because they think it makes them look cool and they pretend like it tastes good, but it actually doesn't.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I actually do agree with you on that one.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: I am not a big fan of most beer, so that's how I think it is for sparkling water.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_04: So really, no, you guys are wrong.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: You're lying.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: And lying is wrong.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, so you are still wrong.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_04: So look for Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, Sparkling Water is bad.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Look for a poll later on on our Twitter to tell us who is right or wrong.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_04: Because that's what you follow us for.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_04: Again, yes, that's how we should off topic.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_04: That's how we should frame it.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_04: Is like not is sparkling water good or bad?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_04: The two options should just be who's right, and then the two options are Taylor and Travis and then Lewin.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_04: That's how we should do that too.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_04: No context.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_04: Who's right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: People will know.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: Only real ones know.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Only real ones know.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Damn.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Call out our listeners like that.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: Dang.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's a meme.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: They'll they'll they'll they'll understand.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, probably.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of calling out our listeners.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh uh.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh a good call out this time.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: This was actually a very recent suggestion from Anthony on Twitter.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Anthony.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um I saw the suggestion and like I was at work, so on my last break, I just kind of scrolled through and was looking through and was like, you know, this thing's pretty interesting.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I did it.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: That's how that's how many episodes have like had interesting.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_04: This sounds good.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_04: I like this.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: This is cool.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna be talking about the bar guest.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're not we have a guest in the bar.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: We have a guest in the bar.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: They are our bar guest.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Although we should probably run if that's the case.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-oh.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: So uh first, there is actually some real world lore, some IRL stuff going here.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: The bar guest exists in uh northern English folklore.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Usually it is described as a monstrous black dog with large teeth and claws.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: A friend.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: A friend.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you might not want to.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know us?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: What I'm gonna say later is not gonna change your mind.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be worth it, I'm sure.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yay.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, in Northumberland and Durham, it's also described as a ghost or a household elf.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: Those are three very different things.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Those are Yeah, they're three very different things.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: Did you combine like three minor characters from Harry Potter?
• 5:09
  unknown: Kind of.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_04: You know, what is a no, never mind.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_04: Not this, not the episode for that.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna ask what a household elf is in real life.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_04: Because obviously the house elves in Harry Potter was a whole messy allegory for something.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was a whole messy allegory for something.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_04: But like, what is a is is anyway, like I said, not the episode for that.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just I'm not sure.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_04: We just put just putting that out in the universe.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_04: What is a household elf IRL?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So there is a ballad titled The Legend of the Trollers Gill.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: It exists in a book called Everyday Book that was written in 1830.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is your regular old everyday book.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it'll literally just call it everyday book.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, uh it's everyday book.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um so the story recounts This is a bad one.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_04: Someone shoot me for that one.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Just no, we can't quite do that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_04: But quite a few reasons.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_04: Someone bat me for that one at least.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it recounts a tale of a man who ventures forth to the quote, horrid gill of the limestone hill, in order to summon and confront the bard guest that resides there in an act of ritual magic.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: By confront, you mean pet.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, you must, surely.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: He wanted to summon and pet the doggo, like I do every day when I get home.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, let's go with that.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I say, come here, baby.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: However, soon after, the man's lifeless body was discovered.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: With inhuman marks upon his breast.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sure it was his fault.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_04: Probably.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_04: Like he he was pet and too rough, like like little kids sometimes do.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_04: And got him too excited.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_04: So he got s yeah, he got scared and he Do I even want to know what that was like?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Should we so in the 1870s there's also a shape-shifting bar guest that was said to live near Darlington and could take the form of a headless man who would vanish in flames, a headless lady, a white cat, a rabbit, a dog, or a black dog.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's a lot of very It Yeah, I don't apparently they can take various forms.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_04: I just like, what's the is there is is there dog and black dog form very distinctly different?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: Because that's an also, why can the headless man vanish in flames, but not the headless lady?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Also a good question.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_04: Misogyny at its finest.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: I don't understand because the headless man was the only one that had any form of it vanishes in a specific way.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's weird and bizarre.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just say that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_04: I if I were a headless lady, I would like to be able to vanish in in flames.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_04: Make a dramatic lightning.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_04: No flames.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_04: I mean that's also cool, but like I would lady.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: You're a flames headless lady.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_04: Unfortunately, my head is still attached to my shoulders, so maybe one day.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: In the uh folklore, they often serve as an omen of death.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh at the passing of a notable person, a bar guest may appear, followed by all the other dogs of the local area in a sort of like funeral procession.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Death pupper, Grim Reaper Pup.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Grim Reaper Pup.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: And they would all herald the person's death with howling and barking.
• 8:46
  unknown: Hmm.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it also notes that if anyone were to get in the way of the bar guest, it would strike out with its paw and leave a wound that never heals.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_04: So an emotional wound.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm pretty sure it's a physical wound, but those never heal.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: We're just gonna skip over that one.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Get out of my way.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then you just have a wound that never heals.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: They can also become invisible and walk about with the sound of rattling chains.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they can also foretell someone's death.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Usually they do this by laying across the threshold of the individual's house.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've heard of such uh stories.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Huh.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: And also, apparently, like vampires, they cannot cross rivers.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: I got nothing on that.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's just that was a note in there, and I was like, okay, that's interesting, but I don't quite understand.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_04: I mean Okay.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_04: I mean that that's at least I don't think that they're necessarily, from what it sounds like, strictly strictly related to vampires.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: But like that sounds like just one of those random things that would come about from folklore.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_04: That's just like, oh.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: If you're a creepy death thing, you can't cross like running water.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_04: Transform into things.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, are just generally pretty spoopy.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: So now into the Dungeons and Dragons world of the Barguest.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I forgot this was all just real world shit.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_04: Man, this dog fucks.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they first appeared, at least as far as I could find, in Dragon Magazine 26.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: That came out in 1979.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: It appears in a column called Dragon's Bestiary.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Apparently, this was a column that they had gotten rid of earlier on in the Dragon Magazines, but by popular demand it came back, and I believe this was the first thing that it covered.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, sweet.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_04: It sounds cool.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it sounds pretty interesting.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I need to look and see what other dragons bestiaries there are, just out of curiosity now.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: So it lists the alignment as lawful evil, and this persists for some of it.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: But their alignment kind of shifts a little bit once we get like later on, but Okay.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds like well, never mind.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll let you talk about them more in Dungeons and Dragons as opposed to real life, but it also lists their intelligence as high to genius.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh smart.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Smart boys.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Smart boys.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now they have like two different forms more or less, so I didn't describe them right off the bat because it kind of comes into play here in a minute.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: Just saying.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: They are the most common and one of the worst Diodans.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Diodans?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: I never looked up how to pronounce that.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, that inhabit the plains of Gehenna.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: They usually live in isolation from one another.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, each of them have their own little like stronghold and force of servitors that uh help in their whatever they're doing.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever they decide to do, because they can kind of just do whatever they want for the most part.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they rule a smoking rift.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: Same.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Despotically.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Despotically.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Dang.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And here it says the reason for them appearing in the primaterial plane is apparently a bargest will sometimes spawn along with its litter of six to the prime material plane to feed and grow.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, there's a lot of there's a lot going on in that sentence.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: So basically the whole gist of that is kind of like they'll spawn in Gehenna, but the minute they do, they are sent to the prime material plane because they are too weak to survive there, and they have to consume souls basically on the prime plane to get stronger.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, that's yeah, that makes sense.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like one appears and I guess it automatically has a litter of six, and then they get shifted to the prime.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_04: Well, but what's what's special about the one that's not in the litter of six?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean, I guess it's my okay, because it's the parent.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_04: But they've all spawned at the same time.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't kinds of spawning going on here.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_04: One of them is like the reproduction kind of spawn, and then the other one is like the video game monster spawn.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_04: And it didn't really specify And so for the for the parent, it's like the video game spawn.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_04: They're just like, all right, you've you've fulfilled enough, like, I don't know, you've you've done enough weird Final Fantasy XII strictures to get me to spawn in.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna just pop in here, gonna banf in here with my six babies.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_04: Have fun.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_04: Have fun.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it it And I'm gonna eat your soul now.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for uh thanks for spawning me.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was it it is kind of a weird like phrasing.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of confused me too, but I was like, I can't figure it out, so fine.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um any that survive on the primaterial plane will eventually return to Gehenna, but while they are young, they have to feed on the lives of men.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_04: Same.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they can often be found living with bands of goblins.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_04: Same.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_04: That's where I'm at right now.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_04: You guys aren't goblins.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's fine.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: I understand.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they can assume the form of a large dog at will, but their natural shape is that of basically a goblin just larger.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_04: Uh just a big goblin.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: They're just large goblins.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Goblin size large.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh goblins will worship them, apparently.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Define large.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_04: Well, they are large goblins, so.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, yeah, sure.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_04: Define large.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like, how tall are they?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_04: Let's see.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh their natural form.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get any uh specific like height mentioned until later on, but they're mentioned to be about six feet.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: So they're just a human-sized goblin.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: Cool.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, pretty much.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, alright, whatever, whatever.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: But apparently they look so much like uh goblins that other races are unable to distinguish them from the goblins that they actually live with.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_04: They're like six feet tall.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_04: And they're like, huh, there's something different about that one goblin.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: Oh well.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_04: I can't quite put my finger on it.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big goblin, and all of these other ones are just worshiping it.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: It must be the leader.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_04: I can't you know, I can I just can't quite put my finger on it.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, and now it's a dog.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: Oh well.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_04: It's a goblin that learned how to polymorph.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Polymorph self.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: So when they first appear on the prime plane, it says that they are relatively weak, but they start with six d8 plus six hit died.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't seem relatively weak to me, personally.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_04: That's no, that doesn't seem any kind of weak.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_04: Define define well, I guess here's the inherent problem is I'm gonna say define relatively, but yeah.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess maybe to their full grown stage, they're that that that's probably relative.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: But like I feel like they should have specified that a bit more than just saying they are relatively weak, because in the context of everything else, no.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I guess it's one of those things where they're you are to assume relatively to themselves rather than relatively to other things.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so in order for them to grow, they have to slay and devour humans, basically.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: For each energy level of a human life that they slay and devour.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Energy level, I'm pretty sure in this context basically means like experience level.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that tracks.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: They gain one hit point.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: And basically meaning that once they consume eight levels, they get another hit die.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: So that could be just like eight regular run-of-the-mill humans or a handful of however many like adventures, let's say.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_04: Who might exist at a higher energy level than the average Joe.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And like level zero humans count as only half of a hit point, so they generally don't go for any weaker ones.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, Taylor, we're safe.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you guys would be good.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_04: Because we're like, we're like Taylor and I are like negative energy levels, honestly.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And here's where it gets to the point that I'm like, that's a major fucking jump.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because their strength also increases as they gain this power, eventually becoming as strong as a fucking storm giant.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_04: Oh Jesus, that's oh, that's a big boy.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm sorry, what?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sure.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like they become as strong as a storm giant, but they remain like basically six feet in their like normal form.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: It just it it's just bizarre that their full strength is at storm giant levels.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_04: And yet they're still I mean, it's crazy how like a gnome wizard who levels up and becomes really powerful in magic just like expands to like six feet tall and is no longer a gnome.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_04: That's weird.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but strength is different.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Strength is almost always relative to size.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Except in this case where it's not.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_04: And also like any small race that's like a fighter or a barbarian or something.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, no, that's fair.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_04: That's fair.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_04: Or like an ant.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_04: Ants are strong.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but they are strong relative to size, like in real life.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: I I was I was giving it to you with the with the gnome fighters, but then you got cheeky.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Then you got cheeky.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_04: It's my sneaker cap.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_04: I'm always cheeky.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: So uh once they reach their full-grown state, they are then able to shift themselves back to the plains of Gehenna, where they will pretty much branch off, find their own little spot to start ruling, and do their stupid nonsense.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Do their stupid nonsense.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Fair enough.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when in their canine form, they become 75% likely to be unnoticed when they're motionless.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like that.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like that at all.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_04: Actually, I think that's just like dogs.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like sometimes the Snoopy's lying in bed, I just like I just kind of don't don't see him, and then I roll over.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_04: Oh and my hand is just like in fluffy, and I'm like, oh hi.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: I do that with Marigold all the time, but that's mostly because she's under the covers.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Snoopy also blends in with my bed spread somewhat.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_04: So that's true, too.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So they can only be hit by a plus one or better magic weapon, and they don't have like a particular vulnerability to any like attack form, unless they're in their canine form, in which case they have an increased risk of failing a specific save against like a magical fire attack, such as like a fireball or like firewave, something of that sort.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: The fire does absolutely zero damage to them, mind you.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: But they still have a saving throw they have to make.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: Right, yeah.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because if they are hit by it and they fail their save, they immediately get hurled back to Gehenna.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: By fire.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Magical Okay, magical fire.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's important to know it's magic.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, I guess the way the fire spells interact with their body, it creates like a little portal that just immediately shoots them back to Gehenna.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Huh.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: Which wouldn't be bad if it's a full-grown one, but if they're any less than full grown, the likelihood of them being killed almost immediately upon arrival in Gehenna is very high.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Rip.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that that was kind of an interesting twist that in their early years they do look like large goblins.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: But as they grow in strength and power and size, their skin kind of starts to dark into like a bluish red, and then eventually just changes completely to like a deep blue skin tone color.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: So at that point, they would absolutely be distinguishable from a goblin, since goblins don't have deep blue skin.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: But usually by that point they're back in Gehenna, so.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: No harm, no foul on that one.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: Lots of harm and foul, actually.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it sounds like there's a lot of harm and foul to get to that point with these guys.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um their eyes usually just look like a goblin's, except for when they get excited, their eyes then start glowing orange.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why there's no specifications as to why that's a thing.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: But it is.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: This is my OC.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: This is my original OC, do not steal.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't help it.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: So they have an entry in the Monster Manual 2 for first edition, but it's literally just a word-for-word poll from the Dragon magazine article.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like nothing new to that one.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: They do have a bit more information from the Manual of the Plains for First Edition.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And in this one, it says that uh the Barguest is actually the only true native to Gehenna.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas other creatures that live there come from like the neighboring plains and the Nine Hells and whatnot, because a lot of uh Gehenna's inhabitants are like fiends or devils.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's kind of a war zone.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty much just like a constant war zone.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: They swarm through great rifts in the uppermost layer, which is called Kollis.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: I got nothing.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: K-H-A-L-A-S, I assume Kollis.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it would probably Unless the K is silent, in which case it's just Hollis, but that doesn't seem right.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's probably Hebrew because Gehenna is a Hebrew word.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, you're probably right.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna continue making disgusting funny sounds in the background.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I mean they can also be found in like all the other layers as well.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: They just kind of primarily come through the rifts that are in the upper layer.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And again, they still live their solitary lives, but now it also specifies that they seek to enslave any weaker beings to forge their small little empires, and to then launch attacks against any rival bargasts.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_05: Hmm.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um so war zone.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: And this is uh the continuous battles is one factor, but as well as the fact that like all barghasts dread the idea of like the next generation taking over their baronies.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: So because of these two reasons, that's why the young are raised on the prime material plane.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because if they stayed in Gehenna, the constant war zones, they would probably just be killed.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: And also the barghs want nothing to do with them taking over their stupid little kingdoms.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_04: Well, so that just confuses me more uh about those the whole spawning thing.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_04: Because like you would think, like, and it's and it said like specifically a litter.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_04: So you would think if they were if they were so pressed about their little baby Sith Apprentices taking over.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_04: They just wouldn't have them.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_04: That they just wouldn't, yeah.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's which I mean, I'd like to be fair, I know that that's also a difference between this printing of it in uh first edition versus um them from the uh Dragon Spee series in Dragon Magazine, but it's just this kind of like if they're so pressed about it, like why why are they like, okay, we're gonna yeet our babies over to the prime material plane instead of just either not having them or like I hate to be morbid, but just like killing them.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Or ye or letting them try and survive on Gehenna and die.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: They would rather them try to survive in the prime plane and die, or become powerful, not that they come back and then just create their own baronies instead of like learning how to take over their parents, basically.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's very strange, but that's just kind of what we got.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, alright.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: So we jumped from that to the planescape settings.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh in 1994, which is about where they were mentioned again.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't find anything in the middle of those that they were really mentioned in.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this is more just uh going into a bit more of the combat of the bargest, just because it listed more information on their combat styles.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: They employ a claw claw attack.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, they make two attacks with their two claws when they're in their natural form, and a bite attack when they're in their canine form.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then once per round, they can cast one of the following spells at will.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: They can do shape change, which is either into canine or goblin form.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: They can cast levitate, misdirection, and project image.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_05: Oh.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: The misdirection and project image are generally used for them losing the battle and trying to flee.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: They'll try to misdirect and then project an image of themselves somewhere else while they run the other way.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Basically.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: They can perform charm, person, or monster, either or.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Dimension Door and uh the spell emotion once per day as well.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_04: Can someone teach me how to cast emotions?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_04: I haven't called an emotion in years.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_04: What does this well emotion do?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't Doesn't it make you like experience an overwhelming emotion to distract you?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_04: That's what I would imagine it would do, which like fair.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I probably wouldn't want to fight if I was just like overcome with grief and like, you know, fell to my knees weeping.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_04: I wouldn't.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_04: I would probably be a pretty easy target in a fight.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_04: Same.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it's just so uh the spell arouses a single emotion of your choice in the subjects.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: You can choose any one of the following versions: despair, fear, friendship, hate, hope, or rage.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And each one of those gives various penalties and what yeah.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_04: That would be contingent based on that.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like the word he the use of the word arouses, but yeah.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: So could you could you cast it on yourself?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Probably.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there are lots of spells that you wouldn't, in theory, be able to cast on yourself, but like or that that you wouldn't typically want to cast on yourself.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um like fireball.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like fireball, but like there are occurrences where you sometimes do.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_04: Did I sorry, I didn't even open a can of worms with that, but it's just the pricing of it was funny.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: You you said that and I had to go back and look.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: It says the target is all living creatures within a 15-foot radius.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, oh, that's even worse.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: Its range is 100 feet plus 10 feet per level.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I guess you can cast it on any specific area.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Area, and then it affects everyone within like 15 feet.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_04: Including self.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it doesn't say it doesn't.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't say it doesn't.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna take that to mean that it does.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: I would rule that as the caster of the spell, you could choose whether or not you wanted to take whatever emotion you were casting.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: So that way you can avoid the negatives and gain the positives, but But also that's there's a lot going on there.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh while they are in their canine form, they can move double their normal speed from 15 feet to 30 feet, basically.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Their AC ranges from 2 to negative 4 depending on their strength level.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: Sacco.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's pretty good.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: I inserted an image from the uh book there that shows the difference between a goblin and a barguest.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Which they look quite different.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: They look quite different and also fairly similar at the same time.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of strange.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like the barguest has these very pointed, like elf-like ears.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_04: Whereas goblins usually have like the short, stubby, curved ears.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: They're kind of like just advanced human ears.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty much.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it specifies now, finally, that the energy level is basically the same as their experience level.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: So they consume a human of an energy level of two is basically a level two human.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, also, noted that I haven't actually mentioned before, when they're young, they are called whelps.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And as a whelp, they are hunters and trackers on the prime plane, which, again, they remain there until they reach their next stage of life, which is full grown.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Where they then return to Gehenna and become the leaders.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it notes that like while they go back to Gehenna, they are still hunters, but their tactics and like their attitudes towards it are much greater to match the stronger foes that they face within Gehenna.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: Rather than like just some fucking lame ass humans.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, pretty much.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: So on uh on to Monster Manual for third edition, uh, they're still going for Lawful Evil.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's again pretty much where they stay for a good portion of the time.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: They do end up changing, but oh boy.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_04: I I think I have I have a prediction on where it happens.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: And uh now we have two different types of bar guest.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: You have the bar guest and then a greater bar guest.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_04: Cool.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_04: So a big boy and a little boy.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Which they basically use to differentiate like a whelp versus a adult.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh their speed changes to be either 30 or 60 feet depending on their form.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they can move a bit faster in third edition.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: Man, why honestly, if I were a bar guest, um, for one, I wouldn't like enslave people because that's not cool.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_04: I would still eat souls, but whatever.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but like, I why would you spend any time in the in your goblin form when you could just be like a cool hellhound instead?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_04: And and you get to run double as fast.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, come on.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, that does uh remind me of something that I didn't actually type down, but they because of how they look in their like canine forms, they are always given like the nickname like devil dogs.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: But it's an incredibly big misnomer because they're not they're not.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_04: They're not devils and they're not dogs.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're actually fiends.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Is it are are they fiends in the same way that that it calls anything in like of the infernal parts fiends?
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Probably, yeah.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they are technically considered to be fiends.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: So in the Taylor vocabulary, they are infernals.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because they look like big goblins, but it does state that they are fiends.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, but like, I that cool.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_04: Call me a devil dog all you want.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'd rather hang out in that form than my goblinoid form.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I agree.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because that'd be really cool.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: And this was just something that was kind of funny to me, probably just because I never really thought about the fact that these creatures would have this skill.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: But they have it listed under their skills.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: They have a plus eleven to their bluff.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_04: Do you ever get I was about to ask the question, do you ever get bluffed by a dog?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_04: But I do.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_04: Literally every day of my life.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_04: Same.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I just I didn't think about it when like reading about these things that they would probably have a good bluff skill.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: Because of the fact that they hide out as dogs.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but they do.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: So the regular barguest has 6d8 plus 6 uh hit points.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: The greater bargast goes up to 9d8 plus 18.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_04: That is quite a bit.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, see, this is actually where it mentions that the full-grown barguest stands six feet tall and they weigh about 180 pounds.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: Big boys.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big goblin.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is a big goblin.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: And because languages are a thing in third edition, more so than previous editions, they speak goblin, warg, and infernal.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so they're they're just they're infernal.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're infernal.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: I uh if you haven't heard, I reject the idea that um anything that is not a devil, a demon, or a Yugoloth is just called a fiend, because devils are also called fiends.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: So It's all very confusing.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to all of Taylor's episodes.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: They were called infernals.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: About the topic.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: If we have celestials, we have infernals.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: Fantastic.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Drops Mike.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh their combat styles have changed a little bit now.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: They can use either their claw or bite attack no matter what form they are in.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah, dead ass no reason to stay in the goblinoid form.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: And they actually just disdain using weapons.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: No reason to be in goblinoid form.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: Not really.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: And they really don't like direct combat and prefer more like attacking from ambush.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's fair.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's easier.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: And now they have the spell-like ability called feed.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Which is Excuse me?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Yeah.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: When a Bargas slays a humanoid, note now it's any humanoid, it's not just humans.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: They can do it to any humanoid now.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: It can feed on the corpse and devour both flesh and life force.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Feeding destroys the victim's body and prevents any form of raising or resurrection that requires part of the corpse.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: A wish, miracle, or true resurrection spell can restore the devoured victim to life, but even these spells have a 50% chance of failing.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: So don't face one of these bad boys if you're not prepared to be nope.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: To just be gone forever, basically.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because like at that point, your life force is gone.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: Your soul doesn't even exist in any afterlife.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_04: That's so like.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and that's so because I feel like like a lot of the time, like the wish spell is kind of it really is like the very end, like Dave's machina.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_04: This incredible feat can only be performed with a wish.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_04: But in this one, it's like a wish has a 50% chance to fail.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_04: And it's that's not what?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like the like I don't like those odds.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: The odds are not great.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Odds are not in your favor.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: Not at all.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: So the greater bar guests are a bit taller, standing at eight feet tall, and weigh 300 pounds.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's a very big boy.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they are considered actually large when as the barguests are considered medium creatures.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: And funny enough, apparently, when they grow that big, they will occasionally use a magic two-handed weapon in combat.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when they get big and powerful, they decide I might be able to use a weapon.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't hate weapons that much.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: Hypocrites.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's it sounds like it's more of a like they have tact exchange sort of thing.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_04: Well, not so much like a tact exchange, but my immediate thought, which I I know that this isn't necessarily like um what it means by magic weapon, but my immediate thought was that maybe they have their own special like like bound weapons from Elder Scrolls, you know.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_04: So it's kind of like, you know.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: That was my first thought, but it would be cool, but yeah, probably not that, unfortunately.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it is unfortunate.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they do appear very, very briefly in the manual of the planes for third edition.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: And the only thing it really mentions about the barguest is that the uh Narzugon, which are the uh Beetsu's elite cavalry, will sometimes ride the greater barguests as mounts on missions.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_04: I know.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_04: I know that they probably mean the canine form, but I'm just imagining a greater barguest than goblin eye fork giving a bait to zoo a piggyback ride.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, George! George!
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: Just like running this fucking giant goblin-looking thing with a fucking devil on his back.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just running.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I think I'd be more scared of that than seeing them riding a dog.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_04: I think you're right, yeah.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: That would still be kind of frightening.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I'm I would just be frightened either way, probably, but still.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just imagining him giving him piggyback ride.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: So uh looking at the monster manual 3.5, usually most of the other creatures from third edition to 3.5, their entries are like just the simple copy and paste.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this one actually has a few slight differences.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: From 3 and 3.5.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's new and different.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, usually it's it's if not like just a copy paste, it's very, very similar.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: But uh we'll go into that after the break.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: Damn it.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: How dare you.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: But we gotta do the break.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to this uh episode of the Bar Guests.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_04: I hope you've enjoyed our bar guest that we have here.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_04: Just kidding, there's nobody else here.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_04: It's just us.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's just us.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_04: And all of our stupid, stupid jokes.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: All of our minis and barge glory.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_04: And empty beverage receptacles.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Shh, they don't need to know about that.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Just a quick note.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there will not be an episode next week on account of uh Travis and I being out of town.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_02: We're just going on a little vacation for our anniversary.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh super isolated.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: Don't worry, we're not endangering ourselves or others.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're actually going to a very isolated place in a very dark zone for astrophotography.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: And our anniversary, obviously.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_04: And you get to watch the breakdown of their relationship live on the podcast.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: Nah.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we didn't have enough time really to record a backlog for an episode being released next week, so we apologize for that.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: You can uh always harass Lewin because she will still be in civilization.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_04: True.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_04: Also, the empty water or the empty uh drink receptacles are mostly me.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_04: I was putting myself on blast.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_04: That's true.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_04: So we we're all just putting ourselves on blast today.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_04: Listen, I'm just I'm trying to be just being transparent here.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, there is one good thing about being put on blast.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really only for our affiliate partnership with Metallic Dice Games.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, we need to put them on blast.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_04: All of them.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_04: They are amazing.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_04: They are beautiful products, beautiful dice, dice-related accessories, more dice, exclusive dice.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_04: All the dice.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_04: Dice, dice, dice, dice.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_04: Dice towers, dice and dice accessories.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_04: Dice and dice on dice and dice accessories.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: So we uh do still have the partnership running with Metallic Dice Games.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you can go shop there, get whatever you wish, and use the code DungeonPedia at checkout to get 10% off the entire order.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: That is at metallicdicegames.com.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: Go shop, get your fancy fancy dice, and get a little uh 10% off in the process.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_04: For all your dice and dice related accessories.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, we do still have our Patreon if you want to support us in a more direct way, and that's just dungeon.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_02: You want to support whatever the fuck this is.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: You want to support whatever the fuck this is.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_02: And we have been discussing, and if you're if you follow us too closely on Twitter, you might have actually seen some hints on that.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: We've been discussing some opportunities for other other Patreon rewards.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: But right now, if you're a patron of ours, you can have access to our notes.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: Which can always be helpful to see where we like lose our brain.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, because our ramblings kind of just go sometimes.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: Uh on that note, if you would like to see more of our brains go, you can see Twitter and our see our Twitter and Instagram.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_02: You can see Twitter.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: You can indeed see Twitter.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: In the app store.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_02: We're both at Dungeon Pedia on there.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we post updates, interact with DD community, uh, reblog art, or reblog, retweet art.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I've lost my mind.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: It is, I don't even know why, but it's so hard to not say reblog when I try to say that, so I get it.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's 2021 and yet.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: And yet.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_04: And yet, until a small part of us is still on Tumblr.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh fuck.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh RIP.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_02: The the good news is that even though Travis and I will be out of town because of our wonderful social media manager, CJ, it will still be up and running.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, he will keep it up and running for us.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_02: Harass us if we need to answer something.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_04: Well, he probably won't harass you guys because you guys will be out in the day.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_04: I'll be here.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: We get we get spotty service.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Ian, and if you want to just get right to the point and send us something, send us a really long form like what the fuck are you doing?
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: Or a suggestion like this was, you can email us at dungeonpedia.podcast at gmail.com.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_04: You can also subscribe to us on whatever platform you listen on to get notifications as soon as we post our new episodes.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_04: And if those platforms allow, we would appreciate if you left us a rating or review or both.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_04: If that platform has both.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: Both is good.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_04: Both is good.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_04: Pork in all those both.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_04: Also, tell your friends, your friends who like having guests at their bar, your friends who like dogs.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_04: I know you have a friend who likes dogs.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone has a friend who likes dogs.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: Your friends who like English uh folklore.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: Your friends who are dogs.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm sure a dog would enjoy listening to this.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_04: I just realized Snoopy hasn't listened to any of our episodes.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_04: Because I always have my headphones in while I'm at it.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_04: He's a naughty dog.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: How dang.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: Naughty dog.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is good.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: I like that.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know who's not a naughty dog?
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, Alexander! Sorry.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, who's neither naughty nor a dog?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: Alexander Not Grata.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: He is, in fact, probably a person or a god, a music god.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I've I've he could be a dog for all we know.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, well, oh, oh.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_04: Dog?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_04: What's dog backwards?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: Either way, it doesn't matter.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: He really starts on Blacksmith, and we love it.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it was or hmm.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_04: We're not we we say was sometimes.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_04: We're not planning on changing it anytime soon.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: It is a great song, and absolutely love that it has become our theme song.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_04: Well, uh, I think with all that futzing around whatever we're doing, we just uh should get back to our bar and attend to our guests some more.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm gonna ride that joke till it dies.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, uh, some differences in 3.5.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um their natural form now is said to resemble a goblin wolf hybrid rather than just a goblin form.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck yeah, fuck yeah.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_04: So it's basically a knoll.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, a knoll's Well, I mean, they're more hyena.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_04: Hyenas, hyenas are the goblins of wolves.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_04: Listen, what I just said actually doesn't make any sense, but it makes perfect sense.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you are right.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, as whelps, they are indistinguishable from wolves except for their size.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're big boys boys.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: Big and naturally with the change of their parents comes the change of their description of like how high?
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: High how tall they are.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_04: How high are they, Travis?
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Very high.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or not so high anymore, because they are now described as six feet long rather than tall.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, so they're not very high at all.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, but they're very long boys now.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: Long boys.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, a six-foot-long wolf.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds frightening.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's not that big.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's as big as me.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I lay down.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I guess that's just that's just like a like I feel like we have wolves that size.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_04: You know, you might be right.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: We probably do, but it's still terrible.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I guess.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_04: They could be it, they could be bigger.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_04: That's what she said.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Uh okay, apparently the the uh average uh length of a wolf in of various species of wolves in real life ranges from 3.4 to 5.2 feet.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_04: So it's bigger than it's like a little bit, but like that's like a dire wolf.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like a dire wolf.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they don't exist anymore, they're extinct and they're screwy.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wait, no, apparently according to Britannica.com, a typical northern uh male grey wolf may be 6.6 feet long, so they're not that big.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying we talked about animal sizes, so Lewin's like my time to shine.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_04: I say as I literally had to Google it, but it they could be bigger.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just saying.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: So usually this is a thing that happens in fourth edition, but in 3.5, they Is it happening early?
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: They kind of contradict themselves on a few areas.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's not unprecedented, but so first it mentions in one area that they can use their claw or bite attacks regardless of their form, just like in third edition.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: But then in a later entry down the page, it says that in their goblin form, they cannot use their natural weapons, but instead can wield weapons and wear armor.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_04: What?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_04: So it So what's the truth?
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so it it literally contradicts itself in the same entry.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: But then in wolf form, it loses its claw attacks, but retains its bite attack.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_04: So it literally just can't use anything.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: It just can't use its claws.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, apparently it can't use its claw attack.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't But it can.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it can.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_04: In both forms, but it can't use it in either.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_04: Makes perfect sense.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I feel like this is one of those uh scenarios where like two or three people were working on the entry and didn't like talk to each other about what they were doing.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds correct, yeah.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then suddenly they were like, oh shit, we fucked up.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_04: Sure nobody'll I'm sure nobody'll be doing a podcast in the year of 2021 where literally the entire thing of what they do is dissect the shit.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_02: Nah.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's stupid.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_04: What's a podcast?
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Podcasts don't exist.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_04: I mean they didn't at that time.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_04: That's when this was written, I don't believe.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: So probably not.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: So there is a apparently uh set of I don't know if it's online articles.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm assuming it's online articles from Wizards of the Coast.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um and this information comes from the second part of the column that is called Class Chronicles, and it's warlocks part two.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's the second part of articles that deal with warlocks, but most of it is like, you know, just simply dealing with all the warlocks stuff.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: There was one small part that actually did mention barguests.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_01: And this one I just thought was kind of interesting and funny.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: So there was apparently a greater barguest known as Tarkamong.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: Tarkamong, sure.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: And he is one of the largest barguests to ever live in Feyrun.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: He was so tall that his servants had to hollow out the inside of a small mountain to house him.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_04: That's a very big boy.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_04: That's a very big boy.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_04: Also, what's a what's a small mountain?
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_04: I just want to know.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_04: That's why we have an Oklahoma.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so uh even though they're technically hills.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_04: Even though they're all technically.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so he's the size of like fucking Mount Scott.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, got it.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_04: He lives there's a this just in, there's a bargass living inside of Mount Scott.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_04: Check it out.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: Or come visit Oklahoma.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_04: Or don't, honestly.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: There's really not much here.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_04: Except for the bargas mountain.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Which is kind of cool.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_04: The Oklahoma octopus.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_04: We still don't know which lake it's in.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_04: My bet's on Dirty Bird, though.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: Everything is in Dirty Bird.
• 50:25
  unknown: Okay.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: So.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you know, you know.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_04: Here we go.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_04: Here we go.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: Here's our uh here's our next step.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Down into Monster Manual 2 for fourth edition.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh right out of the gate.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_01: They have fucked.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_04: What's their alignment?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have an alignment listed.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there is no alignment listed on their fucking scary pages.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna get I was gonna guess unaligned, so does that give me partial credit?
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 51:00
  unknown: Oh.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'll even give you like full credit because that was my assumption when I didn't see anything.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, they're just unaligned, I guess.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_04: Wait, so was it like alignment like dash?
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: There was just no alignment section.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_04: Excuse me?
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_04: What?
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_02: Did they not have a stat block?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_02: They did, but their stat block just doesn't have alignment?
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh apparently not.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_02: Excuse me?
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: I I couldn't tell you.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the hell happened, but it didn't exist.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, this sounds like uh one of those like man, maybe I'm maybe this is just an experience that happens to me and people who are over the age of like 45.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_04: But like, you do you ever like try to troubleshoot something that's wrong with your computer?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like you you read all the articles on the internet that tell you like, okay, go here, open this thing, click this, do this.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like, yes.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_04: You click it, but it just like won't do.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_04: But you don't know how to proceed or explain that the problem is that it won't let you click the thing you need to click.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_04: And you're like, it's not letting me do it.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_04: It's like that.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, okay, well, is the problem that they didn't have a stat block, or is the problem that it was like some hyphens in place of what their alignment actually is?
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_04: But it's like they just didn't have a problem.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_04: It just doesn't exist.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_04: I can't click it.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_04: They just didn't have I can't click on their alignment.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_04: What the fuck?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the hell they did, but they fucking did something.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, here's the problem where it was three people working on it, and they each thought the other person was gonna do that, and then nobody did it.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so they just didn't finish it.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm gonna go back and look real quick to see if maybe I just missed it, but I'm pretty damn sure that they just didn't have it.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: It just doesn't exist.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Let me see.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because there are two different types of barguests.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: Shocker, I know.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, let me guess.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_04: The lesser and greater.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: And there's no di Savager and Battle Lord.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_02: Man.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: No, you're right.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_02: My mistake.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_02: Lesser and greater would have made sense.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: So admittedly, it wasn't actually me looking over something.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: It was the original source that I was looking at did not either load completely or didn't download completely.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because I just pulled up the source we have in our drive, because it was the quickest thing for me to access.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: And they do have an alignment, and their alignment is evil.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, alright.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_04: Never mind.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, good.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give them that because Oh, wait.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_04: Does that mean my partial credits taken away?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, damn it.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: I know it sucks.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm gonna fail this exam.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it starts out great saying uh they are quote savage goblin shapeshifters.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: No So they're not goblin-like, they're just goblins.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: They are goblins that can shape shift, basically.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_04: I Lewin is That's the sound of me leaving.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_04: What the fuck?
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_02: They took like a major part of their like whole existence and were like, oh hey, they uh and just threw it away.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_04: They look they look like goblins, but they're distinguished in these ways, and they're not act They're also the only original uh natives of Gehenna.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: No guessing.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: They're just um probably not because they're goblins and goblins are not from Gehenna.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: You know, they probably didn't even make it that far.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like there was like one person in the meeting who was like, but the bargasts are originally the one it's like that one meme where it's like the three the Yes.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_04: The three and like you have the two like yes people, and one of them is like, oh, we should just make them goblin shapeshifters, and then the second person was like, Oh, we should divide them into two types like they were before, but instead we'll just give them stupid names.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_04: And then the third person was like, How about we don't do that because they were the only original natives to get hit, and then he gets thrown out of the window.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it's um it says that they seek power and influence through violence and treachery, and can now shape shift into a variety of forms, including bugbears, hobgoblins, and wolves.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, um you know, uh alright, okay, okay.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Lilith.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_04: Lilith doesn't like it either.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_04: She's come to offer her input.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I mean, okay, I don't hate them having the idea of them having more than just the the canine form and the like bipedal goblinoid form like they did in like Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_04: Because the like the original mythos that Travis was talking about talked about them appearing in a variety of different forms, including being able to switch between some of them at will.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_04: But like I just I hate, honestly, I hate that they're just like, oh, they're goblin shapeshifters.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm too, I can't get past that.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: It just feels like a complete breakdown of the original.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and like literally, under the lore section, it says they are shapeshifters of the goblin race.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they are just straight up goblins now.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: They just shapeshift.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: And they are born at random among goblins, apparently, which the parents view as a blessing from Bane.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh bargas still feed on energy, but not for the same reason as before.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, they had to change it.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, because now they're goblins.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now, for some of them, they'll feed to steal powers from whoever they're eating, or they can use it to gain their foe strength and use it to heal their own wounds.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I will say, at least they like kept some of the like reasoning, like the or not the reasoning, the um their abilities in, and they just changed the reasoning behind it.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'll I'll I'll give them credit for that.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_02: I guess.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: And because of the fact that they're just goblins now, they had to pretty much change how they are like distinguished.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: So now they have distinguishing marks that separate them from normal goblins.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_01: Usually it is like a shock of white hair or a discolored eye.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's like a common sign of a bargass being born rather than a goblin.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_02: I just I ugh.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: So just gonna touch on the two different variants.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_01: The Savager.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: The Savager?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: The Savager.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, brain, please.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: The Savager.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that was an oh mouth, please.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, both.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_01: The Savager and the Battle Lord.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: So Savagers have a bite attack in their wolf form and use a battle axe in their bugbear form.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I guess uh the savagers are the only ones that can turn into bugbears?
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_04: Because it doesn't mention- I wonder I wonder why.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_04: It would be really cool if there was accompanying pieces of lore that might explain why that is.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wait!
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: But there's not.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_04: Guess I'll just go fuck myself.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_04: God.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_04: Man.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: Under wolf form, they can use the ability power feed, which allows them to gain the use of an at-will or encounter attack power that it has seen the target use during the encounter.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_03: How?
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because it power feeds, apparently.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_04: And uh the feeling when you're you're uh like maybe you you worked out or maybe you had a really busy day at work or just something going on and you're really hungry.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_04: And so you just start and so you just kind of you gotta replenish those electrolytes and you just kind of shove a bunch of food in your face.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_04: That's what I call a power feed.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_04: That's a power feed.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_04: I fucking man, I I know we talk so much shit on fourth edition.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: We like and like they fucking deserve it.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_04: And like, I know it it it it's probably like come on guys, get a new bit.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_04: Well, for yeah, like for one, partially like, come on, guys, get a new bit.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_02: And also, like probably feels like we just ex just hate on stuff because it's from fourth edition.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, and also like there's a certain point where sometimes like it's it's it's tough to even try to have a a meaningful, like salient discussion about it because it's like I'm just so sick of it just sometimes sometimes.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_04: I mean a fourth edition doesn't always do it wrong, but sometimes I'm just so sick of like, oh, we have this, and I I can be sick of it in other editions too, but just like oh, we have this this really like unique kind of concept, and it just feels like so much boils down to being just so the same in fourth edition that it's like sometimes I don't even want to fucking talk about it.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like And a lot of it just seems like imagine how tired we are.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_04: Like you're tired of this bit.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_04: Imagine how tired we are.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we have to read this constantly and just get depressed.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_04: And like I know I sound like I'm being dramatic, but it it really does like like you could you could slightly reskin the like these guys and not be able to tell them from probably five other fucking things that are in fourth edition.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_02: That that's that's a common complaint of fourth edition.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like I know I sound like I'm getting bent out of shape about something that doesn't really matter, but like that's what you're here for.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that that's what that's what you signed up for when you when it sort of listened to the book.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_04: When you when you s you're on we're on episode what fucking 88, I don't know.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_04: Like y'all should know by now, but whatever.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_04: Anyway, so like side side batt oh anyway, I'm sorry.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: So uh the battle lords use a great sword instead of a battle axe.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, the the Lewin's back in the game.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_02: But Oh no, that was that was sarcastic.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_01: They use that in hobgoblin form.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because they can turn into hobgoblins instead of bug bears.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um apparently when they attack with the great sword, it may uh makes them invisible to the target until the end of the battle lord's next turn.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_04: Should I have saved that rant for after the what the fuck?
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: There is literally no context to this.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_04: It would be s not even an accompanying piece of lore that you have to pass a DC fucking 30 save check to to know.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_04: Not even there's no context given in the f man, I'm sorry.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_04: It I it's okay.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_04: It's okay.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_01: There there's just there's nothing.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: I got nothing.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's no context as to why the fuck them attacking just turns them invisible to the target.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_02: The only thing now The only thing I will say it about about any of this is it becomes increasingly obvious the more we do this, which concepts the fourth edition writers enjoyed writing more.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_02: And which ones they didn't.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_04: Because the the fourth edition writers really like dragons.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_02: And like I I would say a lot of the things that they did, they did not do dirty.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_04: But it's just some things they just didn't do.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like just period.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that's a thing they can do.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_01: I have no context as for why, but whatever.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they have the special ability called psychic howl, which it's a psychic attack that deals 1d8 plus 5 psychic damage, and the target is dazed until the end of the battle lord's next turn, and it also has the after-effect of giving the target a negative 2 penalty to attack rolls.
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_01: This after effect can be ended with a successful save, but until you save, you have a negative 2 penalty.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: Alright.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, uh let's jump to uh Volo's Guide to Monsters for 5th edition.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um this is actually the only place that the bar guest appears for 5th edition, and unfortunately, we're gonna have to hate on fifth edition a little bit too.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_04: Oh god, I hate hating on fifth edition.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean sometimes.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, it gave us creation lore as to like where they came from, which I really enjoy.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right, okay So we're gonna cover that first.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_02: The the part that we'll enjoy.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: So apparently, uh long ago, there was a master of the uh goblinoid gods, Maglubeat?
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh he bargained with the General of Gehenna for aid.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_01: The general provided Ugalos that died to serve the cause of the goblin god.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then when it came time to honor his part of the compact, Maglobiat just didn't.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean did not honor his part of the compact.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, as an act of vengeance, the General Gehenna created the soul-devouring Barguests to devour goblinoid souls and deprive Maglobiat of troops for his army in the afterlife.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I I like this.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the Barguest is born to goblin parents.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they did keep that from fourth edition, but they they did provide context as to why.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the thing.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's all I ask for fourth edition is context.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: And they're just born as normal offspring initially.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: So they don't like look different.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_04: They don't look any different.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_01: They're just born as normal offspring.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh born in the form of a goblin, over time they develop the ability to assume their true form, which is that of a large fiendish canine.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_01: So their true form has now shifted to being a fiendish canine rather than a hybrid or even just like a goblin look-alike.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_01: They're just canines.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_01: Only fiendish.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: So the mission of every barguest, which is given to them by the General of Gehenna whenever they are born, is to consume seventeen goblinoid souls.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_04: Good number.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_01: To uh like devour the bodies of those it kills.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_04: The souls and the bodies?
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, gotcha.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_01: So they had to consume the souls by devouring the bodies.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_01: It kind of works the same as before, where it destroys the body and the soul.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_02: Right, gotcha.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_01: Basically.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when they consume The souls in this way, it prevents them from joining uh Maglobiat's forces in Acheron.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's literally the purpose of stealing the souls away from him.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's yeah, so it's the General of Gehenna being petty.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_01: And there is a reason for it to be specifically 17 souls.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_04: Ooh.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_04: Beyond 17 being a good number.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_04: Because it's, you know.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because this is the total number of oaths that Maglobiat broke in his compact.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_04: Ooh, that's very good.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_04: I wonder why I wonder what the 17 specific points were.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I am also curious.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_01: I would like to But it didn't really say so.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's we're just gonna miss that.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_04: I love how we're like over here like just bitching about things in fourth edition, but also like I want to read this specific contract between between this goblin god and the general of Gehenna.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's because that's because we like lore.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, gave us I mean we're a lore podcast, so I just I'm just saying, I want like like page 18 article, you know, article A line like 13.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_04: I want to know what was in that.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean I do too.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_01: Just uh it would be interesting to see what all the oaths that it broke, but it's it's just a thing that I guess we deal with that we don't have, at least at the moment.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we'll fix that one.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_01: At least Fifth Edition gave us something.
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, that's their mission, and obviously they are pretty intent on finishing their mission as quickly as they can so they can get back to Gehenna.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_01: And when they return to Gehenna, they serve under the general directly in his Yugaloth legions.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_01: But even though they are intent on getting there as quick as they can, they don't just kill any goblin.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_01: They usually try to go for any like goblinoid leaders or other individuals of power, because this gives them an elevated status in the afterlife.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if they just kill regular goblin nobodies, their status is gonna be very low.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_01: But the more higher rankers you kill, the more status you're gonna have in the afterlife, so the better off you'll be.
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_04: So they take their time, but they try to It's kind of like a balancing act of like they do they do wanna make it to Gehenna in good time.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_04: But they don't want to just like just fuck off.
• 1:08:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, devour just like the the 17 goblins nearest them because they wanna actually have some status when they get there.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_01: So uh when the goblins eventually discover that there is a bargast amongst them, they react immediately with groveling obes obeisance?
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_01: Obeisance?
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_01: I can't pronounce words.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: Words are hard.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, they grovel.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_01: They pretty much immediately just start groveling, and each individual goblin tries to convince the bargast that they are not worthy of being devoured.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_04: I love it.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_04: They're like a few minutes prior, we're like, oh yeah, I'm so strong and cool.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_04: I killed all these people and took all their stuff, and then they discover that there's a bargast in their midst, and they're like, I'm a liar.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_01: Just kidding.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_01: I suck, I'm weak, don't eat me.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_01: So uh it does uh give a bit more information about like the soul feeding process in uh which the victim's soul, whenever it's devoured, gets trapped inside the bargast for 24 hours.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_01: After that, it ends up being digested.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_04: So what is the spiritual digestion process like?
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, but it takes 24 hours apparently.
• 1:09:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:09:56
  SPEAKER_01: If the bargest dies before the soul is digested, the soul is released.
• 1:10:01
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_01: So the soul won't be destroyed at that point.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, if your friend gets devoured by a bargest, you have 24 hours to kill it so you can resurrect them.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_04: Huh.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_04: Well, assuming the resurrection process is one that does not require their body.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it does say that while a humanoid soul is trapped in a bargest, any form of revival that could work has only a 50% chance of doing so.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_04: So it's a little softer than the initial after they've been consumed, they're just SOL.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_04: Well, like 50% chance of them being SOL.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_04: And this it's a little like if you kill them fast enough, you can at least get a hold of their soul.
• 1:10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_04: Throw it in a butt gym or whatever.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Once a creature's soul is digested, no mortal magic can return that humanoid to life.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Not even a 50% chance.
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_01: There's just no mortal magic can do that.
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_01: It you're just done after that.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I like that.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_02: Stigs are higher.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:11:01
  SPEAKER_04: I wonder what the uh I I still wonder what that process is like though.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_04: Like, do you just have some they just have some kind of spiritual stomach acid going on in there?
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_04: That just gradually eats away at your consciousness.
• 1:11:15
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that sounds terrifying.
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_01: That is horrible, actually.
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, um they are now just I mean, they have just the one form, the bar guest.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_01: They are large.
• 1:11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And in charge.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And in charge.
• 1:11:28
  SPEAKER_01: They are fiends.
• 1:11:30
  SPEAKER_01: They are a large fiend.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_02: Actually.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they're I'll go with infernal.
• 1:11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Still.
• 1:11:37
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, they're they're technically they're technically like a weird cross between a goblin and a ugoloth.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_04: Technically, yeah.
• 1:11:44
  SPEAKER_04: Since they're they're, you know, being they've been changed by the General of Gehenna, who's Ugaloth, so.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_01: That is true.
• 1:11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And they are considered neutral evil rather than lawful evil now.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because they're not.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I think most of that is due to the fact that they no longer have their own little like baronies that they control.
• 1:12:03
  SPEAKER_02: And also in part because of the uh the nature of Yugaloths.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that too.
• 1:12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they still have the whole fire banishment thing, though it is a bit more refined now to where if the bargast starts its turn engulfed in flames that are at least 10 feet high or wide, it must succeed on a DC-15 charisma saving throw, or it'll be instantly banished to Gehenna.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And uh instantaneous bursts of flame, such as like a red dragon's breath or a fireball spell, don't have this effect.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to use something that creates like a giant wall of fire if you're trying to banish it like that.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_01: So uh that's all I have for the information as far as like in Dungeons and Dragons, the normal like one through fifth edition.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_04: Wait, where are we why were we supposed to be mad at fifth edition?
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I said we would have to hate on it a little bit just because they kept the whole like they are a goblin form thing.
• 1:13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 1:13:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I liked that thing.
• 1:13:11
  SPEAKER_01: I meant a little bit just because you find you find that out, and then it's like, but they have this lore to back up the reason.
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:13:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's my number one thing is as long as you have lore and it like it's and it's not totally stupid.
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_04: Because I I I do think that's a an an interesting way to kind of mesh them in with goblins.
• 1:13:31
  SPEAKER_04: Because I've never As much as I like the idea of them having been the true natives to Gehenna.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know.
• 1:13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is really cool.
• 1:13:40
  SPEAKER_01: But they do actually also exist in the Pathfinder setting.
• 1:13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_01: And as much as I would have loved to go over that in the same episode, we're just running out of time.
• 1:13:51
  SPEAKER_01: We have to, you know, keep the episodes.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Relatively yeah.
• 1:13:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a plan.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I'm gonna do it for my next episode or sometime later, but basically I'm going to take various creatures that we've talked about already from the DD setting.
• 1:14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if they have something in the Pathfinder setting, I'm just gonna combine them and get information and we'll just have another Pathfinder episode.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 1:14:17
  SPEAKER_01: So uh stand by.
• 1:14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, stand by for that because Anthony did tell me that they were pretty interesting as far as far as like origin goes for Pathfinder.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And let me just tell you, it really is.
• 1:14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love it because I've already Yeah, you've already done some of the research.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Done the research on it.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or yeah, the research.
• 1:14:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's I mean, the it's really cool how their origin comes in Pathfinder, but again, stand by.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_01: I will have that episode hopefully soon enough.
• 1:14:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully.
• 1:14:49
  SPEAKER_02: Hopefully.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you guys so much for listening.
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_02: Don't forget to follow us on Twitter, on Instagram, our social media platforms of choice.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_01: The only two.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you liked the episode, um spread the word to your friends.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we always appreciate uh spreading the word.
• 1:15:06
  SPEAKER_04: We did mention it during the outbreak, but uh remember we will not have an episode next week because some people decided that they needed to start dating in April.
• 1:15:17
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so sorry.
• 1:15:19
  SPEAKER_04: And they have to do something for their anniversary.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_04: I know, I'm sorry.
• 1:15:23
  SPEAKER_04: It's a special day or something.
• 1:15:25
  SPEAKER_01: How shameful of us.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_04: Truly.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_04: Truly.
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_04: Mine is literally like a couple weeks after that, so whatever.
• 1:15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you have anything that you would like to suggest as a topic for us to cover, you can email us at dungeonpedia.podcast at gmail.com, or you can tweet at us like Anthony did on Twitter.
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_01: We accept that as well.
• 1:15:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:15:44
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of them can have come from there, and a lot of them have come from our emails.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I think with that, we'll catch you once again in a couple of weeks with a new episode right here on Dungeonpedia.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_04: Well, if you think about it, there's a 75% chance there's a bar guest in this room right now.
• 1:16:01
  SPEAKER_04: If they're not moving, we haven't been able to see them.
• 1:16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if that's the case, hopefully I did it justice and they don't devour us.
• 1:16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if it's fifth edition, we're not goblins, so fair.