Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #337: Zombeavers (2014) – Tubi or Not to Be

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#337: Zombeavers (2014) – Tubi or Not to Be · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

0:06
Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
0:10
That's exactly what the Beavers would want.
0:12
We're going to watch Your Least Favorite Scary Movie, The
0:14
podcast where we talk about the good, the bad, the ugly and the
0:17
absurd, and all of our favorite scary movies.
0:19
Because we believe every horror movie rightfully has its
0:22
fanbase. Even if we don't always get it.
0:23
My name's Travis. My name's Jesse, and better late
0:27
than never, I always say. Welcome back to another live,
0:31
uncut and mostly undrawn episode of To Be or Not to Be.
0:35
That is our monthly bonus series where we've search the free
0:40
streaming platforms that exist and find some horror movies that
0:43
we might have otherwise missed. Yeah, and it was my month to
0:47
make the pick. Indeed it was.
0:48
And we've been doing horror comedies all month and.
0:52
Also where zombies might like it.
0:54
Yeah, yeah. Doing a lot of zombie movies
0:56
here and it's not stopping after this one either.
0:58
But you know, we're talking about zombie verse today, so
1:03
that that's going to be the movie and I'm excited to talk
1:06
about it. It's been one that we've kind of
1:07
had on our watch list for a long time.
1:09
I think. So yeah, I'm ready to get into
1:13
it whenever you are. Nothing stopping me.
1:16
OK, cool. All right, well, I got this
1:18
stuff here, so let's get into it.
1:20
Zombie Beavers released April 13th, 2014.
1:24
They premiered at the Imagine Film Fest and then it had its
1:27
wide release August 15th, 2014. We watched it on Tubi, but if
1:32
you would like to watch it, you can watch it on Prime Pluto TV,
1:35
Roku, and Tubi. You can rent it on Apple TV if
1:40
you'd rather do it that way. Written by Al Kaplan, John
1:44
Kaplan and Jordan Rubin. Directed by Jordan Rubin, Music
1:48
by Al Kaplan and John Kaplan, Special effects makeup.
1:52
We had the supervisor as John C Carlucci and the animatronics by
1:57
Don Lanning. Those are animatronics and not
2:00
puppets. Apparently, yeah, maybe.
2:03
There's probably a mixture of both, if I had to guess.
2:06
Starring Rachel Melvin as Mary, Courtney Baum as Zoe, Lexi
2:10
Atkins as Jen, Hutch Dano as Sam, Jake Weary as Tommy, Peter
2:16
Gilroy as Buck and Rex Lynn as Smith.
2:19
All right. Jesse temporary favorite game on
2:22
the show. Budget.
2:23
Oh Bug Ted? Oh, I'm going to go with Bug Ted
2:27
for this. What would make you think that?
2:31
Well, they clearly didn't put any money aside to get a real
2:36
Beaver trainer in hand. Clearly it's more of a budget
2:40
than you thought because it's animatronics and not puppets.
2:43
That's true. Well, I do have kind of a
2:46
number. The director, in an AMA on
2:49
Reddit, confirmed that it was just shy of $2,000,000.
2:53
OK, yeah, so bug head is correct.
2:55
Yes, that is correct. It's opening box office $8000 OK
3:00
Worldwide gross 54,000 OK IMDb score 4.8.
3:05
Yeah, good for it. Yeah, yeah, it's not, I mean,
3:09
I'll, I'll actually like, I actually expected it to be a
3:12
little bit higher than that, but you know, whatever, it's not
3:14
terrible. That's fine.
3:16
I do have 3 movies from 2014 to compare it to and it's animals
3:21
attacking. OK when animals attack.
3:24
Yeah. See, we're we're getting at that
3:26
point in the month now where it's getting harder to come up
3:28
with a theme for these years, but I think this works.
3:31
It's OK. We've got one more in this year
3:35
time frame. Yeah.
3:36
And then we'll have a newer movie next week.
3:38
Yeah. Well, yeah, next week.
3:40
Next week, it's a 20191. That was a little bit easier.
3:42
Well, I'm thinking next week in terms of us on our recording
3:46
schedule, not on the release schedule.
3:48
Obviously everybody should be able to read my mind and just
3:51
know. What I mean, OK, so movie #1
3:55
Sharknado 2, the second one that came out July 30th, 2014 had a
4:01
$2 million budget. OK.
4:03
I have the worldwide gross just written a sci-fi because it just
4:08
premiered on sci-fi. So, you know, if they made money
4:10
from that, it's good for them. They've made about 27 of them
4:14
and I'm going to be honest, I want to watch the 26 that we
4:16
haven't watched. I do see.
4:18
I mean, we've only watched the first one, right?
4:20
Yeah, We need to watch all of them.
4:21
Yeah. I really be into that.
4:23
It's got an IMDb of four. OK, just straight up 4. 4 even.
4:28
Movie #2 is Tusk. Aw, I was like in Tusk jokes
4:33
earlier this. Week you were, Yeah.
4:34
And I, the animal doesn't really attack in that one.
4:39
It just says the victim. Well, I think in that movie we
4:43
learned that the real animal is men.
4:47
Oh, I almost made that joke for one of these.
4:49
And then what I did OK, that came out September 6th, 2014.
4:55
Three million budget, 1.9 million gross 5.4 IMDb OK final
5:02
one. Arachnicide.
5:05
OK, haven't heard of that one. I thought I'd seen all of the
5:09
giant spider goofy animal attack movement.
5:12
There's a lot of them out there. Yeah, that came out April 27th,
5:16
$670,000 budget. Don't have the gross.
5:20
IMDb. Almost all of Jamie Dings
5:24
Jeopardy weddings. 670 Oh my God.
5:27
You're right, just shy. He could fund the sequel.
5:30
He could fund the. Sequel There you.
5:31
Go Jamie. That seems like a weird thing.
5:32
He would and I would give him some more chit chat to have with
5:35
Ken. They're they're going to drive.
5:37
He's like, I funded a movie just so I can have more things to
5:40
talk about if you. Like we talked about his
5:42
signature drink at Princeton like 3 times.
5:45
They talked about his General Soto's rating Yeah, Instagram
5:49
account multiple times too. IBB Sport 22, even straight,
5:54
straight up twos. All right, I've got A tag on.
5:58
I think it's pretty good. You'll all be damned.
6:01
Yeah, that is so. Good, that's good.
6:05
Come. On man, I'm glad we don't have
6:07
to come up with one of those for two weeks because that would be
6:10
tough to top. All right, we've got to book
6:14
tooth the system. Oh my God, you kind of already
6:17
did it right there. I would have accepted that that
6:19
would have. Been perfect, you are feeling
6:20
it. All right, all right, so that's
6:22
it for that stuff. Let's get into our other stuff,
6:25
which means we're talking about the movie, what we think about
6:27
it. Jesse, you kick it off.
6:28
What do you like about it? So it was, This is funny because
6:33
I previously had had a boss who has like, there's very little
6:40
overlap in the movies we like, yeah, television more so, but
6:44
movies, not as much. But they would always ask me if
6:48
I'd ever seen this, and I was kind of surprised that they had.
6:52
And then when we watched, I was like, man, I really should have
6:55
seen this before now. Yeah, it's definitely one of
6:58
those movies that fits with us. Yeah, I think there were so many
7:02
fun little bits about it. It it wasn't in any way
7:06
unexpected until and here from now on in this episode.
7:11
Spoiler OK, so if you don't want to be spoiled, stop listening,
7:15
go watch the movie and come back.
7:16
It's a short movie. It's like barely an hour.
7:19
It the people turning into Beavers.
7:22
I was not. I was performed, prepared for
7:26
and I loved it. At first I thought it was a
7:28
dream and then it just kept happening.
7:31
And I was like, wow. So I thought that was really
7:34
fun. I feel like we almost kind of
7:36
got an homage to The Raft, which is a short story by Stephen King
7:42
and was featured as an adaptation in Creepshow 2.
7:46
OK. So it almost feels like we get a
7:48
little bit of an homage to that. Where's the homage you're
7:52
picking up on because I'm not familiar with it?
7:54
So the Raft and it's one of my favorite short stories in the I
7:58
can't remember the name. It's the same short story
8:01
collection as the monkey and the mist.
8:07
There's like this oily looking BLOB on a lake and like these
8:13
teen or these college students had just like kind of gotten
8:16
into like it was the end of the summer season.
8:18
So it did not feel good. It was very cold.
8:20
And they get trapped on the raft because this oil bubble is like
8:24
eating them alive. OK.
8:27
But like there's even a moment where it it sucks people through
8:30
the like slats in the raft and they're.
8:33
Just they're just kind. Of trapped, yeah, you're.
8:35
Right. Yeah, OK.
8:36
Yeah. So it, it felt, it gave me a lot
8:40
of feelings of that to the point where I'm like, I feel like it
8:43
has to be intentional, like the Bieber coming up through the
8:48
bottom of the raft. And I know that it ties into
8:50
like their whole tunneling thing, but it it's too close for
8:54
me to. You can't separate.
8:55
It I can't separate. It I gotcha, yeah.
8:58
I, you know, and I was talking about how I thought they were
9:00
puppets, and that wasn't a knock on it.
9:03
I had on earlier this weekend, my slaughter house shirt.
9:07
Clearly, I'm a fan of animal puppetry in horror movies.
9:10
It works the part. And this is something that I
9:13
feel like I'd read before that the Beavers like, do the tail
9:16
slapping is an intimidation thing.
9:18
I've heard of that too. And when they were doing it
9:19
outside of the cabin, I was like, shit, I would be really
9:23
scared. I like I would.
9:25
I would not want to be around that.
9:26
I have a feeling that they have the ability to whack really hard
9:29
with those things. Yes, that's.
9:31
That's probably like a big part of like building the dam, right?
9:33
Like you like they slapped it with.
9:34
Their tails. I'm thinking about the number of
9:36
times Talia has tail whipped us. It hurts sometimes and she does
9:39
it just from when she's happy. Yeah.
9:41
She's happy, she goes really, really fast, so I guess.
9:45
So I can only imagine how much worse it would be for an animal
9:50
evolved to slap the shit out of things with their tail.
9:53
Yeah. Oh my God, yeah.
9:55
That is like a whole new type of terror.
9:58
Yeah, yeah. So I just, I had, I had a lot of
10:01
fun with it. Twists and turns I didn't
10:04
expect, which you don't always get from these types of movies.
10:07
I think in terms of like the horror aspect of it, that not
10:13
the horror aspect, but like the human aspect of it, that was all
10:16
pretty well expected. You know, everybody kind of
10:19
sucks, but we'll get to that in a little bit.
10:21
Yeah. But yeah, I had a really good
10:23
time with this. OK, I liked it too.
10:25
I like the cheese of it. It's just like a cheesy movie
10:28
through and through. It knows what it is like, but
10:30
it's also like it's written actually funny.
10:34
Like it's not just out there just half assing it and just
10:37
trying to be shitty for the sake of being shitty.
10:39
Like they're doing it in a way that works I think.
10:42
It really feels like a group of people are like, I have this
10:45
stupid idea and they're going and filming and they're like,
10:48
hey, it would be kind of funny and stupid if we did this.
10:50
Yeah, it's a stupid idea, but it's done with a water fart,
10:53
Yeah. I like it and I stupid is
10:55
absolutely meant in a complimentary way here.
10:58
I just want. Everybody to know I think they
11:00
would be offended, but if you are like this is AD movie and
11:02
it's like really well thought out like they'll be like no,
11:05
it's called zombie Beavers like you know exactly what it.
11:08
Is. Oh, and that's another positive.
11:10
Is the title, Is the portmanteau.
11:12
Yeah, it's I'm a huge. Fan of the portmanteau?
11:15
I'm pro manteau. You're pro.
11:19
OK. Yeah, the roll insurance, you
11:23
killed it right there with that one.
11:27
But yeah, no, I, I like it. I think part of that like this
11:32
is the opening with the guys that are just driving the truck
11:37
and and like it starts with them hitting a random person and then
11:39
they bookends so perfectly with the end of them hitting the last
11:43
survivor of the movie too. Yeah, I was not prepared.
11:46
I wasn't prepared for that to be John Mayer.
11:48
I know either. I was surprised to see Bill Burr
11:50
too for a second. This is before Bill Burr started
11:53
really sucking. Being weird.
11:54
Yeah, yeah. This is 2014.
11:56
This is when he was like hitting his peak.
11:59
But yeah. I mean comedy wise I don't know
12:01
much about him as a person but. Oh, he got a lot of shit for
12:04
selling out for doing the the Saudi Arabia show.
12:08
Well, he sucked before that. Yeah, I don't know, I guess it
12:11
depends on like what, what it is about him.
12:15
There's there's a lot of things that rub people the wrong way
12:17
with him for sure. But yeah, that was that was a
12:21
good bit. I also like that it's just a
12:25
short movie because I know like if this had gone on too long it
12:29
would have ran its course really, really fast.
12:32
Yeah. Because, I mean, it's a fun
12:34
premise, but you know, like it's easy for that to overstate.
12:38
It's welcome. Absolutely.
12:39
And it definitely doesn't with this right here.
12:42
So yeah. And I just love, like, the the
12:45
shitty Beavers, you know, like, it's just, they own it.
12:49
Yeah. And that's what I want from this
12:51
type of movie right here. And they do it so well.
12:53
I like it. It's fun.
12:54
It's just a fun movie. It has fun with itself.
12:56
Yeah. OK.
12:57
What about the bad? Yeah, so I mean, I guess if
13:05
you're doing indie sleazeball horror, you're going to throw in
13:10
a few Beaver jokes, right? And the Beaver is vagina
13:14
category. Yeah, this isn't high brow.
13:16
Yeah. But I do think that like it gets
13:19
a little sale. After a while, yeah, probably
13:22
that's what I'm talking about. Like that stuff can overstate
13:24
it's welcome. Yeah, and it definitely does
13:29
itself favors by ending the movie sooner, but I think that
13:34
they could have added some dumb humor in some other places and
13:37
it would have kind of subverted that expectation to not rely on
13:41
those jokes quite as heavily. Yeah, and having everybody be a
13:47
cliche horn dog is also. Very good note.
13:49
That was going to be me that was kind of similar to mine.
13:52
Like they all hit the stereotypes super hard with the
13:55
characters. And I mean, it's not like
13:58
inherently a bad thing, but it's just I don't think the human
14:02
people are super interesting. And the drama between like Sam
14:06
and fuck I can't remember. Those Jen and Mary.
14:09
Yeah, yeah. Like that whole thing, it's like
14:12
this is an exact date conflict. I really need a movie like this
14:15
right here. And even like there's a way to
14:18
lean into stereotypes for a movie like this, you have to
14:22
have more than like 1 1/2 stereotypes though, because they
14:26
all seem to kind of fall into the same category.
14:29
And it just, you know, it's only been a week since we watched it
14:34
and you're already sitting here. I had to look up the IODBI
14:37
didn't just remember that. I had to pull up the IMDb to
14:39
remind myself which character was which.
14:41
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's, it's easy to forget.
14:45
Yeah. OK, what about ugly?
14:50
Ugly is definitely the way the the friends all act like.
14:54
What a toxic group. Most specifically Sam for
14:58
sacrificing the dog. Sacrificing the dog cheating on
15:02
his girlfriend Mary sucks for being the one he cheated with.
15:06
Jen is man. She's one of those that it's
15:11
like OK, friends in a bad place got to help her.
15:14
We've all been there. But also it's like, come on,
15:16
make it a little bit easier to help for us to help you by not
15:20
like flagellating yourself and constantly getting on your phone
15:24
and like, yeah, overanalyzing. It's like we're sick of looking
15:27
at this picture of Sam and a mystery make out girl.
15:29
Yeah, yeah. Like we we want to help you.
15:32
You have to do something a little different.
15:34
The only cool one was Zoe. Zoe, yeah, she was kind of a
15:38
Dick, but she was a very self aware Dick.
15:41
She was. And then?
15:42
She. Became a very justified Dick
15:44
once Sam threw her dog in the lake.
15:46
Yeah, yeah. And she is the one that makes it
15:49
all the way to the end. You know she's a survivor.
15:52
I do like from her because I feel like a lot of times in a
15:56
non goofy version of this type of movie, if the dog is
15:59
sacrificed, a person will be sad.
16:01
But then we don't really talk about it.
16:03
We just kind of wash over it. Yeah, but in this one she's
16:06
like, no, I'm fucking pissed. I'm never going to not be
16:09
fucking pissed about this. Yeah, you're an asshole.
16:12
And it's like, if saving us makes me an asshole, and I guess
16:14
I'm an asshole. And she's like, it does.
16:17
Like, there's just no getting out of this, man.
16:19
You were an asshole for doing that.
16:21
Yeah. OK, because.
16:24
Sorry, no. What were you?
16:24
What was this guy say? Like, you know, and he wants to
16:27
be all self-righteous and everything, but you know it.
16:32
I really think that if there wasn't a dog to toss, he would
16:34
have tossed his least favorite human.
16:36
Yeah. For sure he would have.
16:37
He would have made that sacrifice.
16:38
He would have made the same justification.
16:40
And it's not him making the sacrifice.
16:42
Yeah, it's not. He's not going to sacrifice
16:43
himself. It's somebody else that's going
16:45
to go out there. Yeah, it's never going to be
16:46
him. OK, Do you have anything for
16:49
absurd? Oh yeah, the whole cinematic
16:53
Beaver transformation, it's trying to be.
16:57
And I again, I think this is intentional, but it's trying to
17:00
have like it's like werewolves in London howling kind of
17:04
transformation moment, but it's a person turning into a Beaver.
17:07
I like her teeth falling out. Yeah, it was actually done
17:10
pretty well. Yeah, that was one of the things
17:12
for me too, is like the fact that they turn into Beavers.
17:15
Yeah, I was. I, until the end of the movie,
17:19
was not entirely sure. It wasn't a dream.
17:21
Yeah, also just the fact that that's John fucking Mayer in the
17:25
opening and he seems like he's doing like fuck improv
17:32
basically. Like those all seem like they
17:33
are. Like that was not scripted
17:35
stuff. They're just like coming up with
17:37
things that are like rift back and forth with each other.
17:39
I didn't expect him to be a funny guy.
17:41
No. But he was pretty funny.
17:44
That just that just kind of blew me away.
17:45
Whenever you looked it up, you're like, Oh my God, that's
17:47
John Mayer. Yeah, well, I was like, he looks
17:50
kind of familiar and I want to know who he is.
17:52
Yeah, I thought he was like, I was like, clearly.
17:54
Yeah, I was going to say clearly.
17:55
Another comedian. Yeah, yeah, that was surprising
17:58
to me. Nope, that's the body is a
18:00
Wonderland guy. Yeah.
18:02
I will always associate him with dentist visits.
18:06
Dentist Physics. Cuz when that song came out I
18:08
swear it played every time I was at the dentist for the next like
18:10
3 years. That's a weird song the here at
18:13
the dentist. Top 40 radio.
18:17
Yeah, I know, but I don't know. It's just something about them,
18:19
like being in your mouth and like listen to your body is a
18:21
Wonderland. It seems like they're enjoying
18:23
it a little bit too much. It's like they have like their
18:28
phone hooked up and it's just on repeat.
18:32
Just don't like it. Doesn't sit well with me.
18:35
OK. What do you rate this?
18:39
At 7:00. Yeah, that's where I'm at with
18:41
today. It's it's a good movie, OK, It's
18:44
good. That's where 7 is.
18:46
It knows what it is and it does it's thing Well.
18:49
Yeah, exactly it will. I will always give a movie
18:51
credit for. That, yeah, absolutely.
18:53
Me too. OK.
18:54
Starting average 7. Yeah.
18:56
All right, let's do this. So I started off with two men on
19:00
a truck. The driver's texting and
19:01
driving. They're riffing off of each
19:04
other. He hits a deer.
19:09
Oh dear, I spelled deer wrong. You spelled DEA.
19:13
On. That's the end, that's.
19:16
The deer then no, he hits the. Oh.
19:20
OK, yeah, so he hits the deer and like, whatever toxic sludge
19:26
they're transporting is not properly secured to the bed of
19:30
the truck, and a VAT of it falls out and into the water.
19:34
We cut to some opening credits of some cartoon Beavers turning
19:39
into toxic mutant Beavers. Was it the cartoon?
19:44
I couldn't remember. Yes, I specifically wrote
19:47
cartoon. I'm gonna.
19:49
Again, is a cartoon over top of like nature videos.
19:53
That's right. That's right.
19:54
That's how it is. Yeah.
19:55
OK. All right.
19:56
Either way, we're at a gas station and in the bathroom.
20:00
We have a woman there. She's crying.
20:01
Yeah. She's looking at texts, getting
20:03
a text from Sam, who says I'm sorry.
20:06
And she calls him a liar. So they're supposed to be having
20:09
a girls weekend. She comes out and they're going
20:11
to hit the road again. They're not supposed to have any
20:13
phones. They're going to Mary's cousin's
20:15
house and Zoe has her dog with her.
20:18
Yeah, I mean, bring your dog. Yeah, dog seems like going to
20:21
have a good time. So we now see this guy.
20:24
He's just out there. He's fishing.
20:27
Could be a, could be a man or a child.
20:29
Yes. So he looks like he's about 12
20:32
1/2 years old, but he's wearing a number one dad hat.
20:35
Yeah. And we couldn't tell if this is
20:37
a young boy who took his dad's hat or a tiny man.
20:42
He is a man that looks incredibly young.
20:45
Or third alternate gag gift. Could be, I think he belongs in
20:50
the 13 or 30s subreddit. Also fair.
20:54
Yeah, but he's out there, he's fishing and he gets, he gets a
20:58
hook that is that a fishing tournament?
21:01
I don't know. He gets a bite.
21:02
There we go. He gets a bite and his hook gets
21:08
dragged around and whatever is bit is pulling really really
21:12
hard and pulls his fishing rod into the the water.
21:15
Then he is attacked as he is discharged by all of this.
21:19
Yeah. So we see the neighbor to Mary's
21:21
cousin's house. Missus Gregerson.
21:24
She comes to say hi, and Mary introduces Jen and Zoe.
21:29
They're her sorority sisters. And Zoe is just kind of pretty
21:33
catty the whole time. And Mary tries to apologize and
21:36
she goes, no, I can get it. My daughter's a real bitch, too.
21:40
Love that. I aspire to be that when I'm
21:43
older, Yeah. Catch them off guard with that
21:45
right there, but be real with them.
21:46
Yeah, Will recognize his real name.
21:50
They don't have any cell service there by the way too, because we
21:52
have Jen, I think is going into the bathroom trying to sneak and
21:56
text Sam. Zoe's trying to get on
21:58
Instagram. Everybody's pissed and Mary's
22:00
like, listen, this is good for us.
22:02
We weren't supposed to be on our phones this weekend anyway.
22:05
And they're like, well, what if there's an emergency?
22:07
She said. We have a landline and they said
22:08
what's that? My God, this is this is 2014.
22:13
It wasn't that far removed, right?
22:15
Right. People at this age should know
22:16
what a landline is, yes. Like we still had a landline
22:19
when I was in high school. Yeah, we, I mean, yeah, my mom
22:24
and dad had one until I moved out of in the house.
22:28
Like they had one until after we were married.
22:31
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they did.
22:34
They might have one right now. I don't even.
22:36
I actually am sitting here thinking, did you ever tell me
22:38
that they got rid of the landline?
22:40
No, I think, I don't know. I think they have it.
22:42
So I don't know. It's so weird.
22:44
But yeah, you know, people still use it.
22:46
Yeah. So they're like, hey, fuck it,
22:49
let's go swimming. Yeah, that's something I do that
22:51
does not involve the Internet. Zoe swims topless.
22:56
They all go out to a RAF and they see a Beaver Dam and they
22:59
want to go see the Beavers and instead while they're there they
23:03
see a bear. Yeah, and the bear just kind of
23:06
fucks off. Well the bear fucks off because
23:08
a hunter comes by and shoots at it to scare it.
23:10
Away. That's right.
23:11
Yep, Yep, Yep. Which if I was a bear, I would.
23:14
I would also fuck off in that situation.
23:16
If I was not a bear, I would fuck off in that situation.
23:19
Generally speaking, if there's a gun being fired near me, fucking
23:23
off. You would not make a good bear.
23:24
I don't think that scares a lot of bears.
23:26
I think bears are like fuck you, I will fuck you up.
23:29
I'm sorry, what part of me makes you think that I ever had a
23:32
chance of being a good bear? I don't know.
23:34
I mean, you know, you're right. You're never cut out for that
23:38
life. That's nut.
23:41
You're so an utter bear. So it's this guy.
23:45
I never wrote his name down. I just wrote him as creepy guy.
23:48
Did I read a new note for him? I have it here.
23:50
Smith with AY. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:52
Smith and he he is a guy that oversays his welcome.
23:56
He does not understand that they don't want to talk like Mary is
24:00
uncomfortable. She's not topless for the male
24:03
guy, she's topless for herself and like she's sitting there and
24:06
trying to keep herself covered. They're all like giving very
24:09
short answers. The universal signal of We're
24:12
not gonna shoot at you, but we still want you to fuck off.
24:15
Yeah, please, please leave. And he's just not getting it.
24:18
And he's like also around here, like I would cover up.
24:21
And they're like, well, Mary lost her top.
24:23
He goes well I'm talking about your mid drifts too.
24:26
Yeah, and they're just wearing their bikinis.
24:28
Yeah, it's not that scandalous. Yeah, so he creeps them off.
24:33
Also tattoos. He also doesn't like tattoos.
24:35
Oh yes, yes, that's true too. So they head back.
24:39
The guy goes off on his own way. It's night time now.
24:43
They're playing Would You Rather and Truth or Dare.
24:46
I love how fucked up these questions are.
24:48
Like what was it again? Like would you rather never have
24:50
sex again or would you rather? Walk in on your dad murdering
24:55
your mom or have your dad assault you.
24:58
That's right. Oh my God, yeah.
25:01
It's just like, it's so bad, but like it's one of those.
25:04
Ones the reaction of everybody else can like what the fuck?
25:07
Yeah, it's because like, the first round of questioning was
25:11
so weak, and then Zoe's like, no, that's not how you're
25:13
supposed to. Play.
25:16
There's a knock at the door, but nobody's there when Zoe answers
25:19
and Mary and Jen step out on the porch, look around a little bit
25:25
more. The door locks.
25:27
What are they going to do? They don't know they're locked
25:30
out. They're trying to get back in
25:31
and then Tommy and Butt pop up. Tommy jumps out, pulls his butt
25:37
cheeks apart, and farts at them. It's an effective scare tactic.
25:41
I don't think he's trying to scare, I think he's trying to
25:43
have a good time. That's Talia has pulled that
25:47
move, minus the pulling the butt cheeks apart.
25:49
Except it is like a scare tactic for her.
25:53
She's always trying to like disperse.
25:54
What was it that you? Said she did the other day.
25:57
She like woke up on the couch, jumped out, farted, turn around
26:00
and like. She woke up, stood up, twirled
26:04
around, stopped, farted, and then laid down and then it
26:09
stung. I I think she may have been
26:14
trying to ask me to leave because I was late.
26:15
I was sitting right next to her that.
26:17
Was a hint, yeah. Anyway, the guys are like, hey,
26:21
yeah, we're here today. There Sam's there too.
26:24
So we helped them all pop up because they were, it was
26:26
supposed to be a couple strip. And then obviously Sam fucked
26:29
that up for everybody, which we don't know yet.
26:31
But Mary was also part of that fucking up, which it's like to
26:35
me when I like when they show the picture of Sam kissing a
26:39
mystery person, I was like, that hair looks like Mary's hair.
26:42
I did not make that connection. So I, I mean, not that Mary has
26:45
like super distinct hair, but I was just like.
26:48
Yeah, it could be her. You know, and there was a part
26:50
of me and I was like, well, you know, if they have to take the
26:52
picture, it makes sense that they use somebody that's not
26:55
blonde. Yeah.
26:56
So rather than pulling a whole extra person, use somebody
27:00
already on set. But it's like an actual plot
27:04
point. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense.
27:07
So Jen, roll up to me, it's like, OK, whatever, they can
27:11
stay. It doesn't matter that they're
27:12
here anyways. And everybody kind of disperses
27:17
into their. Own yeah, the couples go off and
27:20
have really loud sex as Jen and Sam sit awkwardly on the couch
27:24
and he wants to try and talk to her about what happened and she
27:27
slaps him and walked away. He follows her and kisses her,
27:31
and then she needs him in the balls.
27:33
Leads him on, makes him think. That it's the theme of this
27:35
movie is please take a fucking hint.
27:38
Yeah, so we now see a zombie for attack.
27:41
It's Jen in the bathroom. Yeah.
27:45
And Tommy comes in, kills it, and they're like, what the fuck
27:47
was that? Yeah, well, because at first
27:49
nobody believed that there was anything in the tub.
27:50
And they come in, pull back the shower garden.
27:53
Oh, there's nothing in the tub, but that's because it went
27:55
underneath the cabinet. That's right.
27:56
And it popped out. And then they were like, ah,
27:58
what the fuck is that? Beavers.
28:00
Yeah, Yeah. And they put it in a bag and
28:05
it's still alive. It's just kind of like wiggling
28:07
around in the bag. So they just take it and sit it
28:09
outside on the front porch. Jen wants to leave but everybody
28:12
else is like no, which makes sense because they are all super
28:15
fucked up. Like they've had a lot of drink
28:19
and drugs, so in the morning. They walk outside and they see
28:26
the bag has been torn into what they think like something got in
28:30
there, grab the dead body and just drag it away to eat it.
28:33
Yeah, there are little bloody footprints leading away.
28:38
We see Gosling. That's the dog's name.
28:42
Gosling has a cute little life vest on.
28:44
They're out in the water again, Buck.
28:48
This should have been on my absurd He's wearing a fucking
28:52
beanie in the water. A wool beanie.
28:54
Why would you do that? That is weird, yeah.
28:56
It just makes me think that his whole head must smell mildewy.
29:00
Gross. I don't want to think about
29:03
that. Because he's, he's like.
29:04
It was a guy that would have a smell of mildew though.
29:07
Yeah. You know, like in some like
29:09
cartoons, they have the characters that have, you know,
29:12
they're defining like outfit trait.
29:14
And then they'll kind of play around with it where like even
29:17
in bedtime they've got their hat on.
29:20
He's like that, except in real life.
29:21
And we learned the consequences are.
29:23
Terrible and like bedtime. He probably has like one of
29:26
those like sleep hats, kind of like the Santa hats or whatever.
29:29
Oh yeah, like that. But these are screwed.
29:31
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we also saw like there's a
29:37
individual shot of Smith who is encountering the Beavers on the
29:41
wild right now. He's like hearing the Beavers go
29:43
crazy out there. So there's developments
29:45
happening around them right now. Sam asked Mary if she's going to
29:48
tell Jen that she was the one in the pictures kissing him.
29:52
Obviously not. They're all giving Jen a really
29:56
hard time to get in the water. Except then Buck gets pulled
30:00
under. Yep, he gets his foot bit off.
30:03
Yeah, the blood spreads in the water.
30:05
His foot is chewed off. Luckily, he's able to grab it.
30:08
Yeah, yeah. And they all climb up on the
30:10
raft and they're just kind of stranded surrounded by the Zom
30:14
Beavers now. Jen ran back to the the cabin
30:18
because she's going to go use the landline, but the landline
30:20
line was cut. So these Zom Beavers, they're
30:23
evolved, they're smart, they understand technology much
30:27
better than your typical non zombie.
30:31
Beaver. Yeah.
30:32
So the beaver's busting through the raft now it's getting a
30:37
little bit iffy. So yeah.
30:40
Sam. Yeah.
30:41
Sam grabs. What was it?
30:44
Gosling? Yeah, Ryan.
30:46
Gosling. Yeah, yeah, OK.
30:47
And tosses him into the water and the zombie Beavers just
30:51
swarm and kill it. I thought for sure it was going
30:54
to get away. I thought I was going to be like
30:55
a Dawn of the Dead situation where the zombies ignore the
30:58
dog. Nope, this was more of a snakes
31:00
on a plane situation. Fuck that, I hate it.
31:03
And yeah, Sam's a Dick. Jen stabs one in the kitchen and
31:08
the whole group runs in. The rest of the Beavers are
31:11
surrounding the house outside. Zoe's pissed at Sam, rightfully
31:15
so. Please continue to stay mad,
31:17
Zoe. Mary tries to break up their
31:23
arguing and then Zoe is the one who revealed that it was Mary
31:26
and Sam kissing. Yeah, she's going scorched earth
31:28
now. She's like, fuck Sam, fuck
31:29
everybody here. And Sam's like, it's not a big
31:33
deal. Everybody already knows.
31:34
And John's like, I didn't know. And Tommy Mary's boyfriend, who
31:37
everybody like kept saying over and over and over again, it's
31:39
the perfect boyfriend was like, I also didn't know.
31:43
So I feel bad for both of. Them I do too, yeah.
31:46
The Beavers are outside making the slapping sounds.
31:50
Yeah, intimidating. Well, they do their own
31:52
intimidation tactics. They cut off the head of the Zom
31:55
Beaver that Jen killed in the kitchen and they tossed that.
31:58
Yeah, it gets the message across too.
32:03
So zom, zom, Yeah, zom I was. It was a combination of Zoe and
32:09
Tommy and Zomie. Tommy and Zoe are gonna go take
32:14
Buck to the hospital because Buck has hit a point now where
32:17
he's been bleeding way too much and he's gonna die if they don't
32:19
do something. I'm gonna pitch another zombie
32:22
parody movie real quick and I don't have any details beyond it
32:25
besides the title. OK, Zombie Bahamas.
32:28
That's all you need, Tommy. Bahamas.
32:30
That's the perfect pitch right there.
32:33
It'll figure itself out. I like it.
32:35
Let's do it. OK.
32:37
So yeah, they're going to go to the truck, the car, whatever
32:41
vehicle they have there, and they're going to go and take him
32:43
there. And they make a run for it and
32:46
they actually make it in there without any problems.
32:48
And they start to drive away and everybody in the cabin is like
32:50
shit, We probably should have win with them.
32:52
Yeah, Missus Gregerson is in her house and she hears some sounds
32:57
and she's kind of worried. She's especially worried about
32:59
the kids next door. A husband doesn't care.
33:02
He is. He's just reading his newspaper
33:05
and petting what he thinks is the dog.
33:07
But it's really. Was on paper, yeah, Yep.
33:10
She's wanting him to go over there and check on them and he.
33:13
He doesn't want to, no. So there is a tree blocking the
33:16
road, the only way to get out, and they see a truck nearby.
33:21
And when they get out, they examine the truck.
33:23
There's tools in the back, so they take an axe and guns and
33:26
guns, multiple guns. They tell Zoe to go back to the
33:30
cabin. Tommy tells Zoe to go back to
33:33
the cabin and he'll go get help on foot, but the Beavers are
33:39
nearby. They fell a tree onto Tommy.
33:42
Yep, Yep. So he's dead.
33:44
Smith appears that's his truck and he helped Zoe and Buck, so
33:49
they're getting a ride from him. Except they're going back to the
33:52
cabin I guess to pick up the others or.
33:55
Call for help. I think they were going to go to
33:57
the Gregerson's first because that's where we're going to see
33:59
them. That's right, yeah.
34:02
Mary and Jen and Sam are boarding up the house and I
34:07
started to say, well, they're just using wood and Beavers chew
34:10
through wood. And then we see the Beavers
34:12
start to chew through the wood. Yeah, I mean, I get it.
34:14
That's like your standard zombie survival tactic right there.
34:17
But yeah, it just doesn't work the same with Beavers that are
34:20
zombies. Yeah, we hear the radio in the
34:23
truck warning, you know, Oh no, it's an emergency, You've got a
34:29
hurry. But it's just an ad fake out.
34:31
And I kind of love that because, you know, it's such a trope and
34:34
zombie movie. Yeah, it really is.
34:35
It was a good one. Smith tells of Beaver fever that
34:40
fell upon the town many years ago.
34:42
Is the the Giardia parasite, which I don't fully know what it
34:46
is, but I I think it came up on something else we watched so.
34:52
Maybe I can't remember. Or maybe it came up in our vet
34:55
visit like cuz we're getting bad.
34:56
I can see that. Yeah, we're getting that
34:59
heartworm medicines and the parasite, anti parasite
35:03
medicines. OK, I'm struggling to remember
35:07
what happened in this part here. So the truck pulls up to the
35:10
cabin and it scares off the Beavers.
35:13
They're trying to get into the cabin, but the the boards are
35:16
too boarded up. Yeah, so they can't get in.
35:20
They run over to the neighbor's house.
35:22
Yeah, they run over to the neighbor's house and they find
35:24
them dead. The phone lines there were also
35:26
chewed through. So it's just, it's just bad news
35:29
all around. Yep.
35:31
They go in there and the wife was just laying on the bed and
35:35
just dead, and Smith was like, fuck this shit.
35:38
Yeah, that. That's such a creepy thing to
35:41
walk in on the way that she just died like that.
35:43
And you know what? That should be a reaction more
35:45
often in horror movies. I agree.
35:47
Yeah, it's fuck. This shit, this is not good.
35:50
Yeah, Mary and Jen are reading about Beavers.
35:53
There's a convenient set of encyclopedias at Mary's Cousins.
35:57
Oh. My God, it makes sense that, I
35:59
mean, obviously they're going to have that there.
36:03
And they learned that Beavers are really good at tunneling, so
36:06
Chekhov's encyclopedic knowledge does.
36:09
Someone come in there, Yeah. I can't remember.
36:12
Yes, it's absolutely about to be a big part of what's going.
36:14
To happen, do tell. Well, first we we got to go back
36:18
to the Gregerson's house 'cause this says there's no chance of
36:21
reattaching Buck's foot. It they they never said a chance
36:27
with it. Basically it's like, look, he
36:29
he'll die. If that happens, best chance we
36:31
can cauterize it. And they start to set up the
36:34
cauterization. She was like, you've done this
36:37
before, right? He goes, Nope, Nope.
36:38
I've seen. Videos though, yeah.
36:40
I mean, I think it's a pretty straightforward thing.
36:42
You just make something really hot and then hold it to the area
36:46
until like it just cauterizes. Well, we saw how well that
36:50
worked in the ruins, and some of us read how well that worked in
36:53
Missouri, so. Yeah, it's not going to get.
36:57
It's only there to like temporarily.
37:00
Stop the bleeding. Yeah, exactly.
37:02
So Jen turns into a Beaver and attacks Mary.
37:08
Sam comes in and hits her. Buck also turns into a Beaver
37:13
and he attacks Smith. Zoe shoots, but she can't leave,
37:18
so she runs upstairs. Buck follows.
37:21
Missus Gregerson has also turned into a Beaver and she attacks.
37:24
Zoe's out of bullets at this point, so she jumps through a
37:27
window. Yep, you neglected to mention
37:29
that Sam got his Dick bed off too, which was traumatic by
37:33
June. That's not yet.
37:35
Oh, that hasn't happened yet? Sure.
37:36
OK, my bad. So I didn't neglect to mention
37:39
that you just. Oh, Guy jumped ahead.
37:41
OK. So the Beavers chew through the
37:43
floor of the cabin. You could say they tunneled
37:47
their way in. OK, OK.
37:49
You're right. You're right, you're right.
37:52
Mary and Sam run to the bathroom and they stripped to prove that
37:56
they haven't been scratched or bitten, so they're not going to
37:58
turn into Beavers. But then yeah.
38:02
Heat of the moment catches them. Beaver Chews a socket in the
38:10
wall of the house and catches fire so the whole house is going
38:13
to start Catching Fire. Jen tunnels through the floor
38:16
and winds up in the bathroom and bites Sam's Dick off.
38:19
Yep, that's where it happens. Then enter Zoe, who survived her
38:23
fall from the the house over there and made it over there and
38:27
saves. She took Smith's truck and Mary
38:30
runs out, jumps into the truck and they drive away.
38:33
Yep, and then they encounter Zombie Bear.
38:36
Well, they get Zombeaver Smith first.
38:39
He's shooting at them so he can still use a gun as a zombeaver.
38:43
The truck stalls and then we see Zombear.
38:47
Yes, OK, Zombear. Yep.
38:49
And then the truck finally starts up again and they run
38:52
over Zombeaver Gen. They stop where the trees have
38:56
felled, have been felled and they go on foot.
38:59
Mary holds a gun and she says, Zoe, we can't go any farther
39:04
together. You've clearly been bit or
39:06
scratched. You're covered.
39:07
And Zoe's like, I jumped through the window of the house to get
39:12
out. That's what these scratches are.
39:14
That's plausible. Yeah.
39:15
I think she actually got bit. Yeah, and we'll never know for
39:19
sure because Zoe ends up killing Mary with an axe and then she
39:24
starts walking in the road. She sees a truck, goes to wave
39:26
at him, but she gets hit because the driver is texting.
39:30
It's Bilberry. It is Bilberry, John Mayer.
39:33
We get bloopers during the credits.
39:37
Always great. I love those.
39:39
Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
39:40
And then we have an end credits scene.
39:42
Yeah, what happened? In this.
39:45
That's right, yes. Oh my God, it's like a beehive,
39:49
right? That gets.
39:51
It's not like the full hive, I don't think.
39:53
Like there's several of them, but we don't see like the actual
39:55
honeycomb part of it. I would like for like more and
39:59
more spin offs of this right here.
40:01
Yeah, Zombies is a great one. Yeah, I don't know where you go
40:04
from there. Zombie Zombie Bahamas.
40:07
It's. People.
40:09
Wearing tacky clothing on vacation?
40:10
The clothing is infected. Oh my God, yeah.
40:14
It's genius, dude. I told you it would write
40:16
itself. Good job.
40:19
Like all right. Because maybe like it's like eco
40:23
friendly materials, like Tommy Bahama is trying to, you know,
40:27
go green. So they use eco friendly
40:29
materials. It's been infected by the
40:32
zombies. I hate that it's an anti green
40:34
message though. That's true.
40:37
You would have to. We need to find.
40:38
Yeah, we need to find a way to make it a parable against the
40:41
evils of capitalism. What if it's like we're doing a
40:45
dream sequel and we don't even need to be doing it right now?
40:47
But that's true. It's like people from like a
40:51
sweatshop like our like work so hard and like their blood drips
40:56
on worker. Exploitation.
40:57
Yeah, yes, their blood drips on the fabrics and that causes it
41:01
to be contaminated. Fantastic punch up.
41:03
Thank you. Yes.
41:04
This is to work. That's right.
41:06
See, there we go. We got it.
41:08
OK, what are what's your rating, your post rating?
41:10
I'm keeping it A7. I'm keeping mine at 7 also.
41:12
It's just a fun movie. It's good.
41:13
It is. That's a.
41:15
That's perfectly where it should be.
41:17
I, I wish like, we had more variety in the stereotypes, you
41:20
know, give us a little bit more to each character.
41:22
I think that'd be fun. I agree, Yeah.
41:26
Yeah. I mean, like, I I just, I don't
41:28
really know what else you could do to improve this movie.
41:31
This is just one of those ones that, like it hit its ceiling.
41:34
Yeah. Every movie has a ceiling.
41:36
The ceiling for this movie was probably this right here.
41:39
I think we're a few inches under the ceiling, you think so?
41:41
I think we have a little bit that we can work with.
41:44
OK, Yeah, I'm sure there are some things, but yeah, it it's
41:47
not that much higher. 7.5 is probably it's ceiling.
41:51
Like we are like an OSHA regulated safety distance from
41:56
the ceiling, yeah. OK.
42:01
Is there anything that you would change?
42:03
I I already said that that's what I was.
42:05
Talking about, that's why you OK, I got you.
42:06
OK, All right. But it's how you think of it.
42:10
We don't do tie you on this one. God damn it, I'm just fucking
42:13
all this stuff, aren't I? It's a tubie.
42:14
So what do you think was Scout's favorite part?
42:19
Man, I think Scout's favorite part was when the zombie Beaver
42:29
came from like the bathroom. Like where it hid where the
42:35
cabinet was. Scout likes to get all sneaky in
42:38
the bathroom. She likes to go to places where
42:39
she thinks she's hidden all the time.
42:42
So that's a good guess, but no. OK.
42:46
Obviously Scout's favorite part is when the Beavers were
42:50
intimidating with a tail slap, because like a Scout do when
42:53
she's angry. She does.
42:55
Anytime she gets pissed off, that thing goes, yeah, you're so
43:00
right, God, All right. OK.
43:04
Who did you relate to? Our way to Zoe, I think because
43:13
I, I wouldn't like to bring Talia to a place like this, you
43:18
know, whenever we would go on a vacation like that.
43:22
She we took her one time to Gatlinburg and she hated the
43:29
taxidermy bear. Oh yeah, this is the groom.
43:32
Yeah, she saw a bear and freaked out.
43:33
She was. So upset about it the entire
43:36
weekend. I mean, come on, Can you
43:38
imagine? Like she had no idea that that
43:41
how could she know that that was?
43:43
Healthy then? Yeah, she was a baby.
43:45
Like that. I mean, it'd be like if we
43:48
brought our cats over there and they saw that, you know, what
43:51
the fuck did you do to me? No, no.
43:53
I can't believe for one second that Zoe wouldn't have tried to
43:56
climb up and lay in that bear's arms.
43:59
OK, Zoe would probably try. She's the most fearless.
44:01
We've got pictures of her cuddling my Chucky doll.
44:04
You're right, you're right, you're right.
44:07
What about you? I guess I relate to Missus
44:10
Gregerson's daughter because I'm also a real fucking bitch, I
44:13
thought. You're going to say Missus
44:14
Gregerson? OK, No.
44:16
I'm not there yet. OK.
44:19
All right. I don't think we have any other
44:23
stuff we do for to be or not to be, do we?
44:25
We've done a dream sequel. We're not gonna do a tagline.
44:29
Do you wanna talk about what would Dom do?
44:34
I guess we could do. What would Dom do here?
44:38
I think he would have not gone to check out the Beaver Dam in
44:42
the first place. Well, OK, I think.
44:44
And he also wouldn't have let a log in the middle of the road.
44:47
That's where when we go here, we got to like that right there.
44:50
We're driving where they fell. Driving is where he can always
44:55
succeed. Yeah.
44:55
Because like, he'll either drive through the tree or he'll like
44:59
Nos over top of it like Rocket Booth, you know, Like, it's
45:03
something like that. These people are just
45:04
unprepared. Dumb's prepared for a zombie
45:07
Beaver. It's.
45:07
Yeah, they don't know what they're doing.
45:09
It's kind of sad and embarrassing for them.
45:10
I also if his car broke down and that were the case he would take
45:14
it as a challenge to out Beaver the Beavers and he would chew
45:17
through the wood himself. I think I could see him like
45:23
trying to like punch it or something and then like it gets
45:26
to a tiny little last bit and his hands are like all splintery
45:28
and then he does the final. I just I feel like he has to
45:30
chew through it and wash it down with a nice cold corona.
45:34
That sounds fair. Yeah.
45:36
And that's how he makes friends with the Beavers.
45:39
He offers them a corona. That's the cure for a zone
45:41
Beaver. A Corona.
45:43
There we go. Yeah, that's it in a BBQ.
45:45
And then like, yeah, it cuts to the barbecue and mystery.
45:48
Nobody's there at the end. It's like the music is.
45:50
Like guess how I said the damn is for nobody?
45:56
Oh my God, that's it, That's it. I did it all.
45:58
Right, All right, let's do reviews.
46:00
I feel good about it. All righty, so to be not to be.
46:03
We get good and bad reviews, so I'm going to start off with the
46:07
good. It's a six out of 10.
46:11
It's titled Why did the Beaver Cross the Road?
46:15
If you were sitting down to watch a film called Zombie
46:18
Beavers and reading any sort of synopsis out there, then you
46:21
should know what you were getting into.
46:22
It's going to be tacky, cheeky, bonkers, perhaps cheap, and
46:26
firmly aimed at a section of the horror movie faithful who enjoys
46:28
such nutty and bloody delights. Sun Beavers is not a great film,
46:32
of course, but for the sub genre of horror, it sits and it's
46:35
actually better than wait. OK, but for the sub genre of
46:40
horror, it sits in its actual. Yeah, this is just what they it
46:44
says It's actually better than many bigger comedy horror
46:47
productions that have been churned out in the last three
46:50
decades. Don't get me wrong, it's no
46:52
Tucker and Dell versus Evil, but there's a whole bunch of fun to
46:55
be had watching the makers purposefully tick off the
46:59
cliches and requisites. Requisite.
47:03
Requisite requirements for such cinematic fare.
47:06
Thank you. Some gags exist in amongst the
47:12
the the booby flesh. OK, I'm realizing this person is
47:17
making it hard. This person is making me sound
47:19
bad but this is how I like. This person has written a lot of
47:22
this stuff among the booby flesh and animatronic chaos, with the
47:26
dialogue often as razor sharp as the teeth on the disturbed.
47:30
Genus Guinness. Genus caster beings.
47:35
I'm asking you here, is it genus Guinness?
47:38
Where is it at? Genus genus Genus caster beings.
47:43
It is never going to be any God damn it.
47:45
It is never going to be making any horror fans.
47:48
Best of lists and only the infected of mine.
47:51
Would hardly recommend it as a must see, but it is a fun
47:54
picture if you're in the mood to leave your brain at the Beaver
47:57
watch 6 out of 10. God damn that was a hard read,
48:00
I'm so sorry. I don't know if I agree with
48:03
that person or not. I was really see there is a lot
48:06
to. There was, there was a lot going
48:10
on. I understand what this person is
48:12
saying that it's, I think they were saying basically what we
48:15
were saying at the beginning is that this is a movie that's not
48:18
meant to be anything crazy. It's a movie that is super
48:21
silly. It's.
48:21
Just meant to be fun. It's that's all it ever wanted
48:24
to be and that's all it's ever going to be.
48:25
It's never going to be anything like greater than that, and it's
48:29
OK with that. And there's nothing wrong with
48:31
liking it because this type of movie is made for certain types
48:35
of people, but it's probably not going to be something that most
48:38
people are going to be thrilled about.
48:39
OK, all right, now let's do the negative.
48:42
It's a 3 out of 10 had potential to be OK, but it failed.
48:48
Sure, this is never going to be. Citizen Gane, however, had the
48:50
potential to be entertaining and at least better than and more
48:54
original than your average creature feature horror, which
48:57
admittedly is a very low hurdle. In the first half, it lived up
49:01
to its potential. Performances were good, except
49:03
for Peter Gilroy, who was kind of hammy, and the movie was fun
49:07
and intriguing. Then it all fell apart in the
49:09
second-half. It became a very predictable
49:11
zombie movie. Yes, the zombies were Beavers,
49:13
but that was the only difference.
49:15
Hue scene after scene of humans hiding from and being chased by
49:18
zombies, humans turning into zombies, yadda yadda.
49:21
Add in the worst real or the worst least realistic special
49:25
effects you can imagine for the Beavers and it ends up being
49:27
pretty much as bad as you were hoping it wouldn't be when you
49:30
read the synopsis. I don't agree with that.
49:35
I don't either. I think it like it.
49:37
It plays enough with the fact that they're Beavers to make it
49:41
not just another zombie movie. Yeah, I think, 'cause there's
49:46
like The thing is with movies like this, there's a there's a
49:52
type of hand you have to have with it.
49:55
And these people had the right hand.
49:58
I agree. I think that they they handled
50:00
it the right way. Like we've got another example
50:03
of this that fails, I think for me would be a tech of the killer
50:06
Donuts because yeah, based on the premise and the trailer, I
50:09
was like, this looks like it'll be the good kind of stupid fun
50:12
in it. What's not?
50:13
No. It was just dumb.
50:15
And I think it was because it was made by somebody who doesn't
50:18
get these kinds of movies. I think they thought, like the
50:21
name and and the premise itself was going to be enough.
50:24
And just like, coast on that. Yeah, without like actually
50:27
putting much more effort. But when you're wanting to do
50:30
dumb fun like this, you have to actually try.
50:31
You have to actually have fun, Yeah.
50:33
And I think these people did. I do too.
50:35
I agree. I feel the same with you.
50:38
OK, so I think that's it then. All right, All of this zombie
50:42
for talk. We'll see you guys on Thursday
50:45
with Zombieland Double Tap. Yeah, that's right, more
50:47
zombies. In the meantime, we'd like to
50:49
thank our patients. We have Joe Freakatron as is his
50:51
name, Amber, Michael, Lord Zombie, Tyler, Chawney, Jetta
50:55
and Jason. Yay.
50:56
Thank you guys. You guys are awesome.
50:58
We really appreciate all the support you guys do for us.
51:00
Makes the big difference. If you're unable to support us
51:04
like they are, you can always do things like follow us, rate US,
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least Faith Pod. We have a website which at least
51:19
favorite scary movie.com and you can always e-mail us who's
51:22
favorite scarymovie@gmail.com. All right, all right, we're
51:25
gonna go record Zombieland now, so we'll catch you all when that
51:29
releases. All right, until.
51:30
Then bye.