Latest / King Dems Podcast | Growth Mindset, Leadership, AI and Business Insights / Accepting the Apology You Never Got | Growth Mindset & Personal Peace w/ Moira Aboagye

Transcript

Accepting the Apology You Never Got | Growth Mindset & Personal Peace w/ Moira Aboagye · King Dems Podcast | Growth Mindset, Leadership, AI and Business Insights

• 0:05
  Welcome to the King Dems podcast, where we share the
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  stories of extraordinary people and dissect hot, relevant topics
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  that shape our world. From visionary leaders to
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  and grit behind greatness. Whether it's business, culture,
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  or personal growth, we ask the real questions.
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  The Kingdom's podcast, Your Next Breakthrough, starts here.
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  Music licencing Reimagined Before we dive back into today's
• 0:36
  conversation, I want to share something important.
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  This episode includes a paid partnership with Better Help, a
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  platform designed to make starting therapy easier.
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  I know from my own journey as a leader and entrepreneur that
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  life can sometimes feel overwhelming.
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  There are seasons where stress, uncertainty, and pressure build
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  up, and you need a safe space to process it all.
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  That's where therapy comes in. Therapy isn't only for people
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  of therapy. Once again, this is a paid
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  partnership with Better Help and I encourage you to take that
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  first step. If you've been thinking about
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  it, sometimes the best investment you can make these in
• 2:34
  yourself. Luke, Mike Hazels, you write
• 2:39
  about accepting the apology you never got.
• 2:42
  Yes, yes. So why is this important for
• 2:44
  personal piece and how can people practically apply it?
• 2:50
  OK, so accepting the apology you never got, it does go back to
• 2:56
  what I said to you being responsible for your own actions
• 3:00
  and your contributions in a situation.
• 3:03
  And I believe that this particular title included in my
• 3:07
  book, It Goes Well, boils down to being responsible for your
• 3:12
  own emotions. Do you see?
• 3:14
  I mean, we live with imperfect people.
• 3:18
  We're talking about this today, isn't it about imperfection?
• 3:20
  And that, you know, I'm not perfect, you're not perfect.
• 3:24
  And yeah, we live with imperfect people every day.
• 3:27
  And they're going to hurt you intentionally or non
• 3:30
  intentionally. They're going to hurt you.
• 3:32
  Do you see? They will say things or they
• 3:34
  might do things without knowing that they are hurting.
• 3:37
  But there's some people will do it knowingly.
• 3:41
  But then are they going to apologise?
• 3:43
  No. Would they even realise that
• 3:47
  they've hurt you? No.
• 3:49
  So what do you do in such a situation?
• 3:52
  So that's what brought about that title for me.
• 3:56
  Accept the apology we never got. Because then that way you you're
• 3:59
  able to move on because you're going to come, you're going to
• 4:02
  come across people in life who are going to hurt you 100%.
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  Even the closest people to you will hurt you, but they might
• 4:12
  not realise that they've hurt you.
• 4:14
  Or they might know that they did, but they might not see the
• 4:17
  need to apologise, but they feel justified.
• 4:20
  Yeah. So it's more of than taking
• 4:22
  control of your own emotions and saying, you know what, I'm going
• 4:25
  to move on from this. I'm accepting the apology that I
• 4:28
  never got. Yeah.
• 4:30
  So it's more like protecting your own mind space, taking
• 4:34
  responsibility, protecting your mind space.
• 4:37
  That's correct. And in the course of, you know,
• 4:42
  studying your body of work, right?
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  I don't know if this is deliberate or if it is not a
• 4:51
  deliberate action, right? And I'm gonna point this out to
• 4:54
  you. Yes, the, the word of God, the
• 4:58
  Bible is, you know, the bedrock, the foundation, right?
• 5:03
  But do you also realise that you have also done a great job in
• 5:10
  adopting principles across different, you know, fields such
• 5:19
  as psychology, sociology, philosophy, right?
• 5:25
  You've been able to make, you know, the social sciences, you
• 5:31
  know, quite well and also logically as I am.
• 5:41
  Oh, well, you know, would I say, well read or vastly read
• 5:45
  individual, right. And I've, you know, studied
• 5:51
  across, you know, the social sciences.
• 5:53
  I wasn't a faculty of social sciences, you know, doing
• 5:57
  university courses in economics and psychology and sociology, in
• 6:01
  demography, in statistics, right.
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  So you touch on things relating to finance, for example, I'm a
• 6:09
  finance professional, so. I understand, I see where.
• 6:13
  People are stating principles that are consistent, right?
• 6:17
  And there's something with philosophy, right?
• 6:21
  It's something called arguments and critical reasoning, right?
• 6:25
  There are arguments that are solid.
• 6:28
  There are arguments that are are a fallacy, right.
• 6:31
  If your premises right leads to a reasonable conclusion, it
• 6:35
  means you are being logical. You're following a logical
• 6:38
  sequence and I see that logical sequence.
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  So would you say it's a deliberate effort from you, you
• 6:45
  know, mixing principles on psychology, mixing principles
• 6:48
  from sociology, for example, because mine is a social animal,
• 6:54
  you touch a lot on social interactions, right?
• 6:57
  So basically you are taking, you know, principles from sociology
• 7:04
  into your body of work as well. You're taking, you know,
• 7:08
  philosophies, right? You know logical reasoning right
• 7:13
  into what you're doing. So talk to us about it.
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  It was it a deliberate effort or it's something that just came
• 7:21
  together on its own? I.
• 7:22
  Mean I've read several books, you know, and like I said,
• 7:27
  there's principles that govern the different areas in our
• 7:31
  lives, you know, and people have written books about it, you
• 7:35
  know, So if you want to zero in on a particular subject, then
• 7:38
  you can read like for example, about habits.
• 7:41
  You know, we are creatures of habit.
• 7:43
  But then if you want to build good habits, you have books that
• 7:47
  can guide you in that direction. You know, the Bible also talks
• 7:50
  about the fact that God has given to us all things that
• 7:55
  pertain to this life and to godliness.
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  So even the principles of finances, marriage, you know,
• 8:02
  raising children, etcetera. It's all in the Bible.
• 8:06
  Do you see? So some things that I do include
• 8:08
  and references and quotes from other people when you really,
• 8:13
  really think about it, but it all boils down to what was said
• 8:17
  originally in the scriptures. You know, like if you find a lot
• 8:21
  of motivational speakers talk about giving a lot, they talk
• 8:26
  about helping other people. So a lot of these motivational
• 8:29
  speakers talk about if you want to be great, if you want to be a
• 8:33
  personal value, which is something I'm very, very
• 8:36
  passionate about. You know, it says seek to be
• 8:39
  that value so that you can add value to others.
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  Do you see and it's something that Jesus came and said when
• 8:46
  you first came, you know, preaching his message about love
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  God with all your heart and then love your fellow man as
• 8:54
  yourself. Do good to the next person.
• 8:57
  So when all those principles, when you when you think about
• 9:02
  it, the origin is from the scriptures was the Lord said
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  he's given us everything that pertained to this life and to
• 9:13
  godliness as well. So honestly, I wouldn't, I can't
• 9:17
  say I've touched on any psychology like intentionally I
• 9:22
  may have through reading, but I wouldn't know that I'm actually
• 9:25
  coming from a psychology side, you know, unlike yourself, maybe
• 9:28
  you might recognise some of the things because you studied it,
• 9:31
  but I wouldn't intentionally. Yeah, yeah, because I never did
• 9:36
  study psychology that. Is making sense.
• 9:41
  Yeah, but I did study theology. Oh.
• 9:44
  Yeah, I studied theology but not psychology and maybe do touch on
• 9:48
  it because some principles, you know, they do kind of crossover
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  into other areas, intersect, intersect.
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  That's it. Yeah.
• 9:55
  So let me put you on the spot then.
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  I am very scientific as much as I'm a man of faith, right?
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  So I think and that probably comes from, would I say
• 10:08
  excessive studying? Yes.
• 10:14
  Faith. Yeah, they say faith with how
• 10:16
  it. Works is dead.
• 10:17
  Yes, right. Absolutely.
• 10:19
  And I love the way you're dropping the scriptures today.
• 10:21
  You know, I mean, you did tell me, you know a lot of
• 10:23
  scriptures, but it's as if you're saving a lot of them to
• 10:27
  drop them today. OK.
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  Just. Just OK, just.
• 10:31
  Just for the records. Right, I did graduate from the
• 10:36
  School of Disciples Reading. Christianity.
• 10:39
  You did. You mentioned it.
• 10:40
  I'm a Bible scholar. Yes, yes, you mentioned.
• 10:43
  And actually as a teenager I did with the whole of the Bible,
• 10:46
  Genesis, the revelation. So when this he studied tissue
• 10:49
  that he's ever proved, I have dubbed put in my time.
• 10:52
  I've done my time, I've paid my GS.
• 10:54
  I've read the whole Bible sound. Like that's it, then you're
• 10:57
  done. No, no, no, like.
• 10:58
  I'm saying that it shouldn't be surprising.
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  When I pull out these references right?
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  I well, I didn't know. I knew you knew scriptures, but
• 11:07
  I didn't know it was this deep. Yeah.
• 11:10
  Like, I think it's a whole year of my life going to like
• 11:16
  theology school, right? So tell me why?
• 11:20
  It's like you've been surprised Why I.
• 11:22
  Understand finance being a chartered accountant.
• 11:25
  Why I don't put it out there that I, I, it's not on my CV,
• 11:29
  right? But I did go to the school.
• 11:31
  OK. So.
• 11:33
  Honestly. I don't wish my parents school
• 11:36
  fees. I think I remember.
• 11:43
  Was it? Yeah.
• 11:44
  My parents actually just pushed me into it.
• 11:46
  Like OK, go and do this thing, OK?
• 11:49
  I know, I know it. Sometimes they want you to have
• 11:52
  a solid before you can start doing Pinterest.
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  So so no problem. I'm done dude.
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  So like. I've, I've always been a nerd,
• 12:04
  yeah, as a kid. So I grew up as a skinny kid,
• 12:07
  right? So.
• 12:08
  As I was studying. That's a good thing, that's a
• 12:11
  good thing, and a very good thing came out of it too.
• 12:14
  Oh, wow. Thank you.
• 12:15
  Yeah, Yeah, Thank you. Yes.
• 12:17
  I I guess my parents will be happy, but you know, for.
• 12:22
  Me, I I don't know. I OK, there's something we did
• 12:27
  in what's it called law business law.
• 12:30
  They say Nemo Judex in courses were a man cannot be a judge in
• 12:34
  his own case, right? Or I think I'm being a judge in
• 12:38
  my own case right now. I feel like I tried.
• 12:40
  I do a good job in achieving a balance between my belief in
• 12:48
  science and my belief in the Christian faith.
• 12:54
  So I I'm a very strong believer, but at the same time I followed
• 12:58
  the principles of science. I'm very empty people, you know,
• 13:02
  in terms of my judgement and also by work my professional
• 13:07
  training as as an auditor, right, like 2 of the global peak
• 13:13
  for accounting firms, right? So basically gives you a
• 13:15
  particular kind of structured mindset, right, to think and you
• 13:20
  evaluate things based on verifiable data, right?
• 13:25
  So for me, achieving a balance of science and recent faith, did
• 13:33
  you think therapy, speaking to professional therapists is a
• 13:42
  good thing for individuals that are present?
• 13:46
  Like what are your thoughts on it?
• 13:48
  I'm sorry to put you on a hot seat, but.
• 13:54
  Wasn't the whole thing so? What do you think about therapy?
• 14:02
  Because I, I, I usually make this joke about me growing up in
• 14:08
  Nigeria. You grew up in Zimbabwe, right?
• 14:10
  I see a lot of similarities between Zimbabweans and
• 14:13
  Nigerians. Zimbabweans are quite
• 14:16
  superstitious set of people. Nigerians are also
• 14:18
  superstitious. Tell me which kind.
• 14:20
  Of Nigerians, Nigerians are very religious.
• 14:25
  Zimbabwe is a very religious right.
• 14:27
  It's it's quite funny how. It's like an African thing.
• 14:31
  Yeah, but Zimbabwe? Is on another level because you
• 14:34
  hear Zimbabwe names like trust in.
• 14:35
  God confidence believe I would like congratulations I've.
• 14:40
  Never heard of that one. Thank God, the lightning God,
• 14:47
  God, God. You know their name.
• 14:48
  It's. In the language in in the native
• 14:51
  language, right? Not not the English language.
• 14:54
  In the dating language and in the English language.
• 14:57
  And I'm like. But it's a good thing though.
• 15:00
  You need. Be.
• 15:02
  Thank God, thank. You Jesus.
• 15:06
  No way the Zimbabweans that do the most.
• 15:10
  Makes a, makes a. Good, but.
• 15:11
  But how about congratulations? How about congratulations?
• 15:14
  I've never heard of that one before, this is my first time
• 15:16
  hearing it. You ever heard?
• 15:17
  This is my first time hearing it, but I think any name we've
• 15:20
  got attached to it. I mean, you have a better chance
• 15:24
  than one without it. You have a better chance.
• 15:28
  OK, OK, we've got all these are possible, so.
• 15:32
  OK, so. Therapy.
• 15:35
  Yeah, therapy. Yes, as in is it a good thing or
• 15:42
  just to clarify your question? Like, what's your stance on it?
• 15:46
  Because Africans, right? Yeah.
• 15:48
  And I like to make that joke about, yeah, Nigerians,
• 15:52
  Zimbabweans, Africans, basically the African mentality basically
• 15:56
  is they are not open to people speaking to therapists.
• 16:00
  And unfortunately, we don't like to take mental health, you know,
• 16:04
  very seriously if you have a mental health.
• 16:06
  Issues they will like go and read your Bible or go and pray
• 16:12
  like well I literally do a Zimbabwe.
• 16:14
  Friend that told me, oh, I sustained an injury at work and
• 16:18
  then I'm like OK, have you spoken to your GP about it?
• 16:21
  Like OK, talk to a physio because I have done physio.
• 16:25
  I've seen chiropractors who have actually helped improve my own
• 16:28
  personal health. So when I'm talking to you
• 16:31
  telling you to see a physio like I am saying this because I've
• 16:35
  exploded and you guess what the person told me said no, I've
• 16:38
  prayed about it and you know the shoulder is relieving me.
• 16:41
  I'm like what? Because you're a science, do
• 16:45
  you? Know what internal injuries and
• 16:49
  cost you. You're telling me you've prayed
• 16:52
  about it itself? You see the physio 'cause.
• 16:55
  I know what muscle injuries can do to you and.
• 16:59
  And I get and I and I get. It are you telling me you have
• 17:01
  prayed about it so? I, I get where you're coming
• 17:05
  from, Ade, You see, I, I get where you're coming from because
• 17:09
  remember you did say you're like a, a science guy.
• 17:11
  You try and find that difference in that balance.
• 17:14
  But then you see the Bible also talks about each man shall live
• 17:19
  according to his faith. You see, it's a good thing to
• 17:23
  seek therapy to see the doctor, but it's also according to your
• 17:26
  faith. Do you see?
• 17:28
  You know, it's like my. Parents generation, right?
• 17:32
  The thing with my. Parents generation is a lot of
• 17:35
  them, I think when I tried to psychoanalyse them, suffer from
• 17:41
  a lot of untreated on healed traumas because they did not
• 17:46
  open up to therapy, right and they held up to religion.
• 17:54
  I think religion was like an Ave for them to, to deal with a lot
• 18:01
  of, you know, their mental health challenges.
• 18:04
  That's why you see a lot of people in church, you know, and
• 18:07
  a lot of people I, I think the, the pastors are even like being
• 18:11
  overwhelmed, taking up, you know what I say challenges that they
• 18:19
  probably shouldn't typically be dealing with because yes, there
• 18:22
  are spiritual, you know, challenges, there are physical
• 18:24
  challenges, right? You're speaking to a pastor who
• 18:27
  probably studied guidance and counselling, right?
• 18:31
  Or probably let's even change that.
• 18:34
  Ghana's counsellor is good. Apostle studies theology, right?
• 18:40
  And this is also good. Yeah, right.
• 18:43
  But this pastor doesn't have any idea about, like, certain health
• 18:50
  problems, for example, mental health problems.
• 18:53
  I think student psychology, for example, talked about, you know,
• 18:58
  you deal with people who are schizophrenic, right, who have
• 19:02
  personality disorders, for example, like, so a person like
• 19:05
  myself will probably be better equipped, you know, interacting
• 19:09
  or providing advice to certain individuals, right?
• 19:15
  But we overwhelmed pastors who were probably not very well
• 19:22
  equipped in terms of understanding certain problems,
• 19:25
  right? And you know, the only
• 19:27
  recommendation is you pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.
• 19:30
  All right, can, can, can I? Oh no.
• 19:33
  Please, please address the issue.
• 19:37
  Defend your African people. Yes.
• 19:40
  So having been in the church for 21 years now, I've come to learn
• 19:48
  that with the Lord you walk with him with wisdom.
• 19:53
  When you walk closely with the Lord, it's it's not a case of or
• 19:57
  we just pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.
• 19:58
  We don't walk in ignorance. You see, when you walk in God's
• 20:01
  principles, you know as well that you need to be be educated.
• 20:08
  You know, you did mention a scripture earlier that started
• 20:10
  to show yourself approved. So when you study, you will come
• 20:13
  to an understanding of certain things you see.
• 20:17
  And when you walk closely with the Lord, you're also able to
• 20:19
  discern, you know, to be, you know, you're able to know
• 20:23
  whether it's a situation where you need to go to the hospital,
• 20:26
  you need to go and get medication because God also
• 20:30
  heals through medication. So my church, for instance,
• 20:33
  which is an awesome church, by the way, you know, they teach
• 20:37
  the, the truth in its most balanced form.
• 20:42
  So when you need medication, you're going to get medication.
• 20:45
  If it needs prayer, we pray. Do you see?
• 20:48
  And there's, and that's why as as I mentioned earlier, having a
• 20:51
  mentor, they also know how to guide.
• 20:53
  So they won't tell you that, OK, just go and pray.
• 20:55
  OK, just go and pray because because they hear from the Lord.
• 20:59
  Remember I mentioned to you earlier that you need a mentor
• 21:01
  who hears from the Lord Because they hear from the Lord, they
• 21:03
  can then also advise you accordingly.
• 21:06
  You see, that's not just a case of oh, because in church we
• 21:09
  pray. Just pray about everything.
• 21:11
  Did you get my point? Let.
• 21:13
  Me ask. It's not.
• 21:15
  So it's not all churches. I know many churches.
• 21:19
  And also one thing I wanted to ask just very quickly, very
• 21:23
  quickly. Some pastors may the congregants
• 21:29
  pastor dependent, which is not a good thing.
• 21:32
  They're supposed to equip the believer to stand in the Lord
• 21:37
  for themselves. Do you see now?
• 21:39
  So that's the difference. So now the reason why they're
• 21:41
  most churches are inundated with, oh, I've got this, I need
• 21:45
  to heal from this. I need to, you know, I need help
• 21:47
  with this and that, I mean, it's not a bad thing.
• 21:49
  People can go to the pastors for help, for prayers, for healing.
• 21:53
  But then if they leave the congregants to be dependent on
• 21:56
  them, that's what ends up happening.
• 21:59
  But whereas in my church, for instance, they teach you to seek
• 22:02
  the Lord for yourself and know him for yourself.
• 22:05
  Do you get it? So when things come up, you're
• 22:07
  able to actually pray yourself through and you also get the
• 22:11
  wisdom to know what to do in any given situation.
• 22:14
  I I. Feel like you're fortunate?
• 22:16
  To be in a church where you have educated leaders.
• 22:22
  Very educated. Leaders.
• 22:23
  They're enlightened. Not just enlightened, that's
• 22:27
  posed. 2. And they are noted.
• 22:32
  They're blessed. So you're just simply blessed,
• 22:34
  right? Amen.
• 22:35
  But unfortunately. Not everybody's as best as you
• 22:39
  are. But then I'm gonna add more fuel
• 22:42
  to this fight. I'm gonna add more fuel to this
• 22:45
  fight. Zimbabwe.
• 22:46
  Nigeria. Like right and me being a social
• 22:50
  scientist that I am right, sometimes I just observe from
• 22:53
  the flats, right observe, you know, social dynamic, right?
• 22:59
  I observe goings on right, in social institution, right, and
• 23:07
  social situations now in Nigeria, and I think that it
• 23:13
  should be similar to what happens in Zimbabwe as well.
• 23:18
  There are a lot of individuals who are neuro divergent, for
• 23:23
  example, people with ADHD, people with autism, right?
• 23:28
  Yeah, that autistic, right. And you know, it's a spectrum.
• 23:32
  So for some people they are, you know, severely affected, Some
• 23:36
  people are mildly affected, right?
• 23:38
  Some people moderately affected. Right now, when individuals are
• 23:42
  neurodivergent, the the traditional African perspective
• 23:47
  is usually to dismiss them or to regard them as, you know, on
• 23:53
  feet, you know, individuals. I don't see that help, you know,
• 23:59
  that understanding of these conditions, right until lately,
• 24:05
  I think maybe with my own generation.
• 24:08
  And then the Jazzy's, right, people are more exposed to like
• 24:15
  enlightenment about, you know, mental health challenges, about
• 24:19
  people being different. You've been neurodivergent
• 24:21
  doesn't necessarily mean that you are abnormal, right?
• 24:24
  But in the days of, you know, my parents and you know, my
• 24:29
  grandparents, right, Such individuals were typically
• 24:34
  dismissed as abnormal, right? In Nigeria growing up, right,
• 24:40
  when I was in primary school. It's, it's quite, you know,
• 24:43
  unfortunate how if you're not good at mathematics or good at
• 24:47
  setting, you know, courses and you score 0 year test and the
• 24:51
  teachers will basically shame you, tell the other kids to
• 24:56
  label you as something called ulodo, meaning you are a dumb
• 24:59
  head, right? And that's psychologically
• 25:03
  damages a lot of individuals, right?
• 25:07
  So really like, what's your own take on how individuals who are
• 25:13
  neuro divergent right, can be helped?
• 25:18
  Can you know, because there are, we have special needs schools,
• 25:22
  right? And not even all individuals
• 25:25
  need to be in session, need schools like with advancement
• 25:28
  in, you know, technology and psychology for training of
• 25:35
  teachers, I think people better understand these conditions and
• 25:41
  these individuals are being given better support, right, in
• 25:46
  order to achieve excellence in life, right?
• 25:49
  Right of the Church. Yes, yes, in, in terms of the
• 25:54
  Church, right? Because when these individuals
• 25:58
  are, you know, probably presented to like church
• 26:00
  leaders, right, religious leaders, a lot of them just
• 26:04
  dismiss them as, you know, cases that they just need prayers,
• 26:07
  right? But adequate counselling that's
• 26:11
  not given in our religious institutions, especially back
• 26:14
  home, right, about helping this individual psychologically.
• 26:20
  So like how did you help you know the church right to be able
• 26:28
  to apply science right with faith and make make it work?
• 26:37
  Well, I think it goes back to what I was saying where there
• 26:40
  are times when you know, you know through discerning that you
• 26:45
  need medication and prayers working hand in hand.
• 26:48
  So I think people in that disposition, they need to be
• 26:53
  seen to by special needs people, definitely.
• 26:56
  I mean, because obviously they don't live the same lives that
• 26:59
  we do. If I would, if I could say no
• 27:01
  more lives, they don't live the way we do.
• 27:04
  So they need to have the special needs met.
• 27:07
  But I think at the same time, there's no harm in putting in
• 27:12
  prayer. There's no harm in putting in
• 27:16
  prayer because I've had the situation.
• 27:18
  I'll speak of myself personally. I, I remember before I got born
• 27:22
  again, and that was like about a year before I think I, I was
• 27:28
  really going through a lot of like emotional pain and mental
• 27:32
  turmoil and I was referred to a psychologist.
• 27:37
  Yeah, interesting. I'd yeah.
• 27:39
  Interesting. Yes.
• 27:41
  Tell us more about this one. Yes, I was referred to 1.
• 27:45
  You know, funny when you're saying it.
• 27:47
  I totally forgot about Auntie. You started mentioning it and
• 27:49
  the Lord just brought it back to my remembrance, remember?
• 27:52
  And I went the first time. They were asking me questions, I
• 27:57
  was answering When I left, I didn't feel any different.
• 28:01
  I went the second time, but deep inside me I knew that this is
• 28:08
  the one I need. It wasn't helping me.
• 28:11
  So do you know what I said to the lady?
• 28:14
  I said, you know what? I don't want to come back.
• 28:17
  It's His, yes. Niger, did you say I don't do
• 28:23
  again? I did.
• 28:25
  I was, I was, I was very honest and I said and I said don't want
• 28:29
  to come back. And these were my I'll never
• 28:31
  forget this. These were my exact words.
• 28:33
  I said I don't want to waste your times and I don't want you
• 28:38
  to waste my time. I didn't.
• 28:44
  You know who? Was wasted.
• 28:45
  Whose time? I was thinking we would both.
• 28:50
  I said I don't want you to waste my time.
• 28:52
  I don't want to waste your time. You know why?
• 28:55
  Because I realised it wasn't working for me, you see.
• 28:58
  Because what I needed was something deep inside that
• 29:03
  nobody else could touch. And at that time I didn't know
• 29:07
  it was Jesus DC. So when now I got born again,
• 29:12
  that's what I needed, DC. And I have a friend.
• 29:16
  I have a friend of mine who at the time, they couldn't stop
• 29:20
  drinking. It was just drinking nonstop and
• 29:23
  they tried to go to like an A, a type of meeting, but it was a
• 29:27
  nonstop situation until they also then realised this is
• 29:32
  beyond me. Do you see?
• 29:34
  So a lot of people try so hard in their own strength to, to
• 29:38
  change, to be better, to heal in, you know, but then that's
• 29:42
  why for me, I don't lean too much on motivational speaking in
• 29:48
  as much as I motivate people in as much as I, I do my best to
• 29:52
  inspire people, but I always want to tell them the truth of
• 29:56
  where the true healing comes from, you see, and which is from
• 30:01
  Christ. So everything else works
• 30:04
  together with so the science bit that you were talking about,
• 30:07
  which is the medication which is being hospitalised, you know,
• 30:12
  going to institutions, it's absolutely needed and necessary.
• 30:16
  But he can still work hand in hand with prayer because God
• 30:20
  still uses, you know, the natural medication to heal
• 30:24
  people. I mean, you've heard of people
• 30:25
  saying, oh, I need to go for an operation.
• 30:28
  We have testimonies in my church where people have gone under the
• 30:33
  knife right before the doctors could do anything.
• 30:36
  After one last scan, they said we can't find what we're trying
• 30:39
  to take out. That's a miracle right there.
• 30:43
  Yeah. But then there's some people we
• 30:45
  still need to go through it. Do you see?
• 30:48
  So it all depends on how, how God decides, you know, to heal
• 30:52
  the person and for the and for what purpose.
• 30:55
  What's the purpose of the person who had to go through the whole,
• 30:59
  the whole process of having the operation?
• 31:01
  And what is the purpose of the person who never did get to do
• 31:04
  the operation even though there was something to operate?
• 31:09
  You see? Yeah.
• 31:10
  That's actually thought from 4 kids.
• 31:12
  Yeah, right. So basically, individuals are
• 31:16
  different. Very different and how God,
• 31:18
  yeah, yeah, like administers is here.
• 31:22
  It's very different. It's very, very different.
• 31:25
  It's like, for example, like you did ask me like what would you
• 31:28
  recommend in terms of like healing?
• 31:31
  And I did say going to God, our healer, and that's one thing I
• 31:35
  remember I did, went to him trusting and believing him for
• 31:39
  something. And it went rather the opposite,
• 31:42
  like 360, you went opposite from what I was believing.
• 31:47
  But then there was a purpose in it.
• 31:49
  There was a purpose in God not letting it go in the direction
• 31:53
  that I wanted it to, even though I was believing and trusting and
• 31:57
  I had faith. But then now when you walk with
• 31:59
  him very closely, like I said, it's not just a case of pray,
• 32:03
  pray, pray, pray, pray, all because we just have to pray.
• 32:05
  But when you walk with Him closely now you're able to
• 32:07
  discern that, no, maybe God is putting you in a season where He
• 32:12
  wants to change something and you heal you, maybe break you,
• 32:15
  do something so He can use you for His purpose.
• 32:20
  Do you see? So in the healing, as you asked,
• 32:22
  just going back to that statement that you made, people
• 32:26
  should not expect that it might be instant.
• 32:29
  Sometimes God does it in His own way.
• 32:31
  So one day the person can also have a message or a testimony
• 32:35
  which will bless someone else. Yeah, they either wait on the
• 32:39
  Lord. Shall renew their strength.
• 32:42
  Mount up with wings like eagle. Yeah, they shall run, I know.
• 32:46
  Yeah, absolutely. Your family judge tomorrow.
• 32:51
  OK, so power scriptures inside you.
• 32:55
  Before you go right, so you've been the founder, the author of
• 33:00
  Smell the Coffee, Mike capsules, Whole Chin and motivational
• 33:05
  resources. So what's your ultimate vision
• 33:08
  for these initiatives and how do you see grading to the future?
• 33:13
  So what's the legacy you want to leave behind with your body of?
• 33:16
  Work my legacy is become a person of value.
• 33:22
  That's the legacy and you are my book launch and you saw that I
• 33:27
  titled it Become a Person of Value.
• 33:29
  And I'm sure people wonder, like, how can you say that I
• 33:32
  should become a person of value? I believe I have value.
• 33:35
  Why should I become someone in value?
• 33:37
  Am I not valuable? You know?
• 33:39
  But I believe that there are principles that differentiate us
• 33:42
  from people who don't become of value.
• 33:47
  Because you see, when you become someone who has value, you have
• 33:50
  influence, then you make, you know, you become successful, you
• 33:55
  know, and some of the principles I share in my book, you know,
• 33:58
  that bring about that value. And I believe that the ultimate
• 34:01
  value is to become a vessel in God's hand.
• 34:06
  There's a Scripture in the book of Timothy which talks about
• 34:09
  their vessels in a house, vessels of honour, you know, the
• 34:13
  Scripture, and vessels of dishonour.
• 34:16
  And he said that. But if you become a vessel of
• 34:18
  honour, then you become that useful vessel in God's hand,
• 34:24
  isn't it? Yeah.
• 34:26
  So I with refer to that scripture, people say how can I
• 34:29
  become a person of value? I say, yeah, well if you can be
• 34:32
  of value, you can be of no value.
• 34:35
  And that Scripture says it clearly that there are some,
• 34:37
  there are some vessels that are for honour and some for
• 34:40
  dishonour. But then if you are a vessel of
• 34:42
  honour, God can use you. He can make you a vessel that he
• 34:46
  can use, the Bible says for the master's youth.
• 34:49
  Yeah. It's a master.
• 34:51
  'S that's. Yeah, wow.
• 34:53
  It's been a really, really intense, insightful session
• 34:58
  today with you. For me, I like to see an
• 35:01
  attitude of gratitude is good attitude.
• 35:03
  So for me, to you, it's a very, very big thank you.
• 35:09
  Just to show. The.
• 35:11
  Book my capsule, make me your official marketer and give me
• 35:17
  Commission. Well, due to that, give me
• 35:18
  commissions. For people who buy from the poor
• 35:22
  tax. So where can people get this?
• 35:25
  From SO, people can get this from my website
• 35:29
  whichissmellthecoffee.org. You can also find this on
• 35:33
  Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Blackwells as well.
• 35:37
  And Waterstones. Yes, Waterstones.
• 35:40
  OK, interesting. So before you need, you want to
• 35:43
  do a shout out to anybody. Oh yes, I want to give a big
• 35:46
  shout out to my mentors, which I've spoken to about, sorry, my
• 35:51
  pastors, Pastor Victor, Pastor Lydia Darte.
• 35:54
  I couldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you.
• 35:56
  And the biggest shout out is to God Almighty.
• 35:59
  And I want to thank him for where he's brought me and every
• 36:03
  time that he's always come through for me.
• 36:05
  I am very thankful and everyone who's been there for me
• 36:08
  throughout my journey. Oh wow.
• 36:10
  Yes. Yes, of course.
• 36:12
  Thank you. SO.
• 36:13
  Much for me to you once again. Thank you very much and God
• 36:16
  bless you. Wishing you the very, very best
• 36:18
  in all of your future endeavours.
• 36:20
  And of course, I wish that you are able to impact the lives of
• 36:25
  millions and billions of people across the globe positively.
• 36:29
  God bless you. God bless you too, Ade.
• 36:31
  Thank you very much. Thank you for having me again.
• 36:34
  OK, thank you. Welcome.