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The Paradox of Effort: Why Success Feels Empty · Reborn w/ Antonio Boutros

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Reborn Podcast, where we delve deep into the psychology of everyday experiences.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Tony Brugess, and today we explore a captivating theme that resonates with many of us.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: The paradox.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wait for this.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is important.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: The paradox of effort.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: We'll unpack the layers of detachment, insecurity, and the intriguing balance between measuring input versus output in our personal and professional lives.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Stay with us as we dive into why sometimes, even when we achieve the same as others, we feel less accompany.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Two individuals, both achieving remarkable results in their field.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: On paper, their success mirrors each other.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yet internally, their experiences are worlds apart.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: One feels a profound sense of accomplishment, while the other, let's call them Alex, perceives their achievements as a luckluster.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Alex knows they're not putting in their full potential.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Only about 20% of the true capability.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Despite having the same outcome as their peer who might be giving their all, Alex is caught in a spiral of self-doubt and detachment.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: We recently spoke with an expert in the field, and what they told us was when individuals measure their input rather than just the output, they engage in a more realistic self-assessment.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's crucial for maintaining a healthy perspective on one's achievements and understanding one's true potential.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: This input versus output evaluation helps explain why some of us, like Alex, might feel detached or less enthused about our accomplishments.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just take this further.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: The concept of giving your all, reaching that 100% effort is inherently inspiring.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's also about working smarter, not harder.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: As Alex mentioned, there's a limit to how many hours one can work and how much effort one can exert.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just bring this to a pivotal point, the balance between effort and leverage.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Leveraging skills, technology, and teamwork can amplify what we can achieve within the same hours compared to sheer effort.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: For those who find themselves in Alexis Shoes, feeling detached despite evident success, consider these steps.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Step number one, reflect on your effort.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, assess how much of your potential you are utilizing.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, set realistic goals.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Align your goals with actual incapacity to avoid burnout.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So number one, reflect on your effort.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, set realistic goals.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, seek feedback.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes external perspectives can provide insights into our efforts and accomplish accomplishments that we might overlook.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So step number one, reflect on your effort.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Two, set realistic goals, and three, seek feedback.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number four is balance effort and leverage.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Utilize tools and teams to enhance your productivity without overextending yourself.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that as a business owner, especially, has been crucial for me.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: You utilizing tools, utilizing teams, because there are so many things that, as a business owner, there's so many moving parts.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if I were to be the moving part, the guy controlling every single aspect, can I make a good business?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can I make a great business?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to release that control.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: You have to give that control to someone else because there's just way too many things.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: So for example, I'm a real estate investor.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most tedious tasks that I have to do is title work.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so transaction coordinating.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: That is paperwork, coordinating with people, whatever, right?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Making sure there's no liens on the property.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's draining, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I can hire, I can either hire someone who's a professional for this, I can hire, you know, a company that's done thousands or you know, thousands of transactions, or I can hire a VA to do that and train them, give them all the training, perfect, and great.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's handled.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's costing me maybe$500 per transaction, which I can then charge to the other party.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: But at$500 is saving me peace of mind.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what's most important to me right now is my sales.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I can sell at a better level because I'm not stressed out by all this transaction coordinating, the business will inherently be a greater business.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: To dive even deeper, let's address some frequently asked questions.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: These are questions that I've asked myself.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: These are questions that have honestly probably been self-doubt for myself and I believe many, many, many others.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: First one is what if I can never what if I can never give 100%?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be honest, this isn't one that I've dealt with too much, but I've dealt with the opposite end.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've dealt with, hey, I need to give 100% 110%, and then it's burnout on the on the back end.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to realize it's important to recognize that 100% can vary daily.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Some days might be, you know, 50% is your best, and that's okay.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Especially those of you who are older, those of you who have families, children, wives, husbands, those of you have who have more responsibilities to take care of.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You might have some emergency come up that, hey, we don't have someone who can help handle this.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have someone, as we were just talking about, that can, you know, tools or team that can help with this.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I have to go here, you know, help my mom uh move, right?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So some days 50% might be your 100%.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you this right now 50% is not just 50% better than 0%.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's infinitely better than 0%.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So as long as you're one of my mentors, they talk about 1% better every day.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm not the best at math, all right, but I think if you improve 1% every day, imagine where you'll be at the end of the year.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say you're making a thousand dollars today.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: In one day, okay, perfect.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow I'm improving one percent.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a thousand and ten.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of the year, do you know how much money I'm making?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how my business is booming?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: 1% a day is better than nothing.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: How do I stop comparing myself to others?
• 7:00
  unknown: Woo!
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all we all have been there, right?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So focus on your journey and your milestones.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison, while natural, is uh rarely a fair metric due to differing circumstances and capacities.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know people who are behind me in business and life and you know, health, etc.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know people who are on the same level, and I know tons of people, tons of people who are ahead of me.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh for example, I was actually at a workshop last month, okay, and I met this trio, uh, three entrepreneurs, all like all working together, uh co-founders, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they're make I I came in there, I'm like, man, I'm making six figures a month, I'm doing well, this, this, and that.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, oh man, that's good for you.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and they not not not to say anything bad about them.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: They were not disingenuous at all.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: They were great people to meet, you know, but they just they showed me, like, hey, that's awesome.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: But this is what we're doing.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I I I do think that comparing yourself to others sometimes to a very, very, very, very, very small extent.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, if you're new to it, I would not suggest it, but to a small extent can be healthy.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'd prefer to it uh to uh compare myself to my past and to my who I want to be in the future.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but you know, being around that uh those co-founders, that was inspiring, right?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't compare myself to them, but that was inspiring.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: The third one is is feeling detached from my accomplishments normal.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is it can be, especially if you know you're not maximizing your potential.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's attachment can be a signal to reevaluate our goals and your uh effort levels.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So again, what if I can never give 100%?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: 1% is better than nothing.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: How do I self-compare myself to others?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on your journey, your milestones.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I want to be?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Where was I in the past?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And is feeling each hash for my accomplishments normal.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: It certainly can be, especially if you know you're not fulfilling your potential.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: As we wrap up today's episode of Reborn of the Reborn Podcast, remember the journey is about balance and understanding oneself just as much as it as it is about reaching peak performance.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in, and don't forget to join us next time as we continue to explore the depths of our mind and behaviors.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, keep striving, keep reflecting, and most importantly, keep balancing.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know we all love that as entrepreneurs.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: No work life balance.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you guys have a great week.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Blessed one.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for listening.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for watching.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: See you on the next.