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14: The Weight of Forgiveness · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast.
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It's also an online course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Meaningful Work, Calling, Formation,
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Service, and Love.
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About a year ago, a little bit over
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a year ago, I was at a New
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Year's Eve party with some old college friends,
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and I bumped into an old college classmate,
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Justin, there, who I hadn't seen in a
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while.
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And we got to talking, and I mentioned
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that I was interested in learning strength training.
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And Justin said, oh, what gym do you
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go to?
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Turns out we had a membership at the
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same gym.
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For the next six months or so, Justin
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trained me in strength training.
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It was like having a free personal trainer.
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It was great.
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It was phenomenal.
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But because I was inexperienced, Justin had to
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kind of gauge how much weight he was
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going to put on the bar for any
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given, you know, if we were doing squats
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or if we were doing the bench press,
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like how many weights would he put on?
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And he and science, we would have another
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buddy there.
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He and the other guy would put on
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a lot of weights, you know, these circular
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weights you put on either side of the
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bar and do like 10 reps.
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And then it would be my turn, and
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they'd be like, let's take some of those
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weights off.
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You know, Chris, you're not ready for this
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yet.
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And it was humbling.
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But I was also really, really grateful for
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it because I couldn't have lifted that bigger
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set that they were capable of.
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And as time went on, Justin would put
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more weights on like like it would be
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my turn and he'd be like, oh, let's
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let's have another weight, Chris.
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And inside, I would always be like, no,
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it's going to be harder.
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But like, I knew that Justin was giving
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me what I was ready for.
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So I was really grateful for the training.
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And Justin was a great kind of coach
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trainer, willing to pace the weight like I
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needed it.
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Well, as we think about our workplace, we
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think about formation within our workplace.
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I think it's healthy to think about our
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workplace as a spiritual training ground.
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Jesus is there with us at work.
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And he's not just there with us to
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get the work done.
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Although that matters, too.
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We spent a lot of time in this
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podcast talking about how our everyday work matters
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to the Lord.
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But he's also there to work on us.
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He's there doing his spiritual work in us
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to shape our character.
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And sometimes it's even the difficult things in
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our workplaces that give us the opportunities for
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God to work on our character.
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On our last episode, we talked about how
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God can use that spiritual sandpaper to sand
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down the rough edges of our character through
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those abrasive experiences we may have at work.
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So in this episode, I want to think
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about how might Jesus be using your work
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as a training ground to develop your character?
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What kind of weight might he be adding
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to the bar, so to speak, that you're
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ready to lift, even if it requires that
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effort and that strain?
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And that's like, oh, why do you put
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that weight on?
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Could it be that Jesus is giving you
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an opportunity here?
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Now, I want to be careful in the
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way that I speak because God is not
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the author of evil.
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God does not cause evil in our lives.
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And yet in the middle of sin and
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brokenness and evil, God is always working for
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good.
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So God can take something that's evil or
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wrong or not the way it should be.
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That's unjust.
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And he can make it a spiritual opportunity
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for growth for us.
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I think that's the way that he can
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use different forms of suffering that we face
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to bring about his purposes in our life,
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his growth of Christlike character in us.
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So in this episode, I want to focus
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on the idea of growing into the Christlike
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character of forgiveness.
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How do we forgive other people?
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Well, again, I think this idea of weight
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can be helpful.
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If somebody does something that's just like moderately
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annoying and your response is to stew over
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it, to just perseverate on how annoying it
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is and how frustrated you are with that
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person.
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Like maybe it's a co-worker who is
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always one minute late to team meetings, right?
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And maybe you're not his manager and it's
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not your place to confront him about it,
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but he's just always like scooting in the
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door one minute late and you're like, dang
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it, he's wasting our time.
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And you just stew on that and you
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feel bitter about it.
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You wish your teammate was more responsible.
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He's wasting your time.
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Okay, if you have that response to this
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mild annoyance of someone running one minute late
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to team meetings, what if something more serious
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happens in your life?
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What if somebody actually hurts you in some
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way?
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Will you have the character to be able
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to forgive that person of a serious wrong,
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to be gracious toward them?
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What if this mild annoyance is like that
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little weight on the bar, you know, maybe
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it's just a warm-up weight where it's
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like, hey, can you practice being gracious with
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this kind of offense?
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Practice lifting the bar with this much weight
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on it.
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Maybe Jesus is inviting you into that.
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Okay, practice lifting the bar with this much
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weight on it.
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Can you be gracious toward that person?
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Because we see in scripture this call to
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be gracious toward even much, much worse offenses.
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Jesus calls us to love our enemies.
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We think of Jesus himself on the cross
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saying, forgive them for they know not what
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they do.
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This kind of heroic forgiveness, even of people
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who hate us and wrong us, but we're
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never going to get there.
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We're never going to get to that kind
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of interior freedom and capacity to show grace
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if we can't do it with the little
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everyday cuts and bruises of just getting along
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with other sinful human beings in the workplace
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environment.
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So again, see it as an opportunity, the
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difficulty, the annoyance.
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It's not just something to white knuckle and
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get through and then just sort of stoically
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move on to the next task.
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It's an opportunity for you to do a
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few reps, do a few reps of low
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weight, building grace, building strength as God gives
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you energy.
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And this idea of kind of like the
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relative weight of different kinds of forgiveness actually
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comes into the teaching of Jesus.
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So I want to go to one of
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Jesus's parables about this to kind of help
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us out.
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But as we go along the way, I
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also want to talk about how do we
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practically respond to the kind of cuts and
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bruises that we may face in our workplace
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relationships.
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So we're going to be drawing from a
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parable that Jesus shares in Matthew 18.
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But a little bit before the parable, he
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also shares about how to deal with somebody,
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especially within the community of faith, if they
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wrong you in some way, if they hurt
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you in some way.
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This is Matthew 18, starting in verse 15.
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If your brother or sister sins, go and
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point out their fault just between the two
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of you.
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If they listen to you, you have won
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them over.
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But if they will not listen, take one
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or two others along so that every matter
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may be established by the testimony of two
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or three witnesses.
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If they still refuse to listen, tell it
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to the church.
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And if they refuse to listen, even to
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the church, treat them as you would a
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pagan or a tax collector.
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Okay, this is Jesus's classic teaching on confrontation
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and reconciliation.
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I love that phrase.
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If they listen to you, you have won
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them over.
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Jesus kind of has this bias toward reconciliation,
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right?
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If you can get to full reconciliation with
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someone else, that's the best outcome.
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Now, Jesus is a realist.
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However, Jesus acknowledges you don't have control over
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the other person.
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They may not listen to you.
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And so he kind of has this process
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of like, hey, handle it just one-on
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-one at first if you can.
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If that doesn't work, bring a couple other
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people.
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If that doesn't work, go to the authority
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structure, right?
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The church, the community.
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And even though he's talking about this within
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the fellowship of the church, I think that
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in general, these are just kind of good
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principles for confrontation and reconciliation, even outside of
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the church context.
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So in a workplace context, if somebody does
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something that you don't like, should you immediately
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go to HR?
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Well, depending on the nature and the seriousness
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of the offense, sure.
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But again, if it's one of those minor
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things, often the best thing is to just
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go to the person directly and confront them.
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Maybe you could confront your friend who's always
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late to a meeting.
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Maybe you're the person who leads that meeting.
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And so you're bothered that they're late.
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Could you go to that person just one
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-on-one, not in front of others, not
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to embarrass them and say like, hey, I
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would really appreciate it if you could show
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up to meetings on time.
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That would really help us, you know, hit
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the ground running and be efficient, etc.
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And again, maybe that person, all they need
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is somebody to let them know that punctuality
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matters.
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This has sometimes been the case in my
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life.
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You'll be surprised.
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You ask for change and then people change.
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It's like, oh, they just needed someone to
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ask.
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But if they don't listen to you, right,
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then involve other people, then maybe involve the
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authority structure in that case.
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So I think Jesus has some real wisdom
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and some guidance for us here that's relevant
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in the church, but can also be relevant
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in the workplace.
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OK, what's the alternative, though?
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What's the alternative to confronting someone about something?
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Well, in an earlier episode, I talked about
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Archbishop Eliud Wabakala of Kenya and how he
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gave a teaching on this verse in First
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Peter, chapter four, verse eight, which says above
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all, keep loving one another earnestly since love
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covers a multitude of sins.
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And Archbishop Wabakala's teaching on this was that
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this is not an excuse for you, like,
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oh, love is going to cover the multitude
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of my sins.
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This is a way for you to extend
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love to others, that your love will cover
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the multitude of other people's sins.
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If we tried to confront every single time
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anybody sins against us in any small way,
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we would only constantly be confronting people.
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Instead, when we love people, we can just
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be gracious about a whole host of people's
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imperfections and inadequacies and weaknesses.
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Not everything rises to a level of a
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Matthew 18 confrontation.
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We want to develop a character of grace
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and forgiveness where we're willing to overlook faults.
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We're willing sometimes even to make excuses for
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people like Jesus when he's on the cross
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and he says, forgive them for they know
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not what they do.
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He's basically making excuses.
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Now, again, we don't want to twist this
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and saying that we never stand up for
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ourselves or we never confront wrongdoing.
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The courage to confront a wrong is clearly
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there in the teaching as well.
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But again, we're human beings.
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We're sinners.
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There is a multitude of sins in any
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workplace relationship just because we're flawed.
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And again, we're going to rub each other
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the wrong way in different ways.
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Can you love someone enough to overlook those
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things?
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So there are kind of two pathways for
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us.
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One is this courageous confrontation, often best to
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do one on one.
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The other is just let it go.
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Love covers a multitude of sins.
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You don't need to confront every little thing.
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Just have a gracious attitude towards the other
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person.
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So those are kind of our two options
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given to us in scripture of how we
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can navigate the reality of other people's sin
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in the workplace.
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But I do want to go back to
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that parable from Jesus because I think that
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gets to an even deeper reality of how
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we can develop that kind of gracious character.
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How do we get to the point where
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we're actually ready to forgive someone else when
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they do hurt us?
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Maybe even in a more serious way that
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needs to be confronted.
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Okay, so this starts with the conversation between
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Simon Peter and Jesus.
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So Matthew 18 verse 21.
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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord,
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how many times shall I forgive my brother
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or sister who sins against me?
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Up to seven times.
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Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times,
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but 77 times.
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Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a
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king who wanted to settle accounts with his
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servants.
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As he began the settlement, a man who
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owed him 10,000 bags of gold was
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brought to him.
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Since he was not able to pay, the
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master ordered that he and his wife and
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his children and all that he had be
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sold to repay the debt.
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At this, the servant fell on his knees
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before him.
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Be patient with me, he begged, and I
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will pay back everything.
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The servant's master took pity on him.
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Canceled the debt and let him go.
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But when that servant went out, he found
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one of his fellow servants who owed him
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100 silver coins.
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He grabbed him and began to choke him.
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Pay back what you owe me, he demanded.
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His fellow servant fell to his knees and
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begged him, be patient with me and I
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will pay it back.
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But he refused.
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Instead, he went off and had the man
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thrown into prison until he could pay the
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debt.
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When the other servants saw what had happened,
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they were outraged and went and told their
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master everything that had happened.
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Then the master called the servant in.
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You wicked servant, he said.
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I canceled all that debt of yours because
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you begged me to.
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Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow
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servant just as I had on you?
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In anger, his master handed him over to
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the jailers to be tortured until he should
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pay back all he owed.
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This is how my heavenly father will treat
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each of you unless you forgive your brother
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or sister from your heart.
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Jesus is giving a very sober teaching about
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forgiveness here.
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And what he does is so masterful because
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he starts with a character who needs forgiveness
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and then moves to the question of can
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that person extend forgiveness.
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And what Jesus is doing here is he's
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saying all of us need forgiveness.
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It's so easy for us to get angry
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when we're sinned against, when we're offended.
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It's so easy for us to get annoyed
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with others.
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We often forget we ourselves are often in
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the wrong.
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We ourselves need forgiveness.
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We need forgiveness first from God and from
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other people whenever we hurt them or offend
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against them.
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And so Jesus is saying God's forgiveness for
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each of us is like this huge debt
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that we don't have to repay.
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The debt of sin is totally beyond us
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to pay.
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10,000 bags of gold is what the
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servant owes his master.
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And in the light of the rest of
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the Jesus story, we know how Jesus paid
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that price as he gave his own life.
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When he was on the crossing, forgive them
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for they know not what they do.
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He was paying the price to cancel that
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debt of sin for each of us who
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are willing to receive his gift.
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So this huge, huge debt that we owed
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is canceled for each of us.
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So the starting place for each of us
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is not our need to forgive others, but
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our need to receive forgiveness from God and
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the offer of his forgiveness through Jesus's death
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and resurrection.
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Then we move to later in the story
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where the servant now has a smaller debt
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to forgive another servant.
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And what does the servant do?
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He refuses.
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And the sober warning of Jesus is if
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we refuse to forgive others, we haven't really
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reckoned with how we've been forgiven, right?
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That's what the master does at the end
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of the story.
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He says, look, I canceled that debt of
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yours.
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Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow
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servant?
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The point is that forgiveness recreates itself.
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Forgiveness multiplies because we're forgiven by God.
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We are able to forgive others.
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And so if we're unwilling to forgive others,
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we haven't really reckoned with how we've been
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forgiven.
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And so then Jesus has this very stern
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warning at the end that like, look, if
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you're really going to hold a grudge, you're
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going to be condemned.
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The only place you can ultimately really keep
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a grudge is under the judgment of God.
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It's like, whoa, whoa.
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Now, again, it's not that we earn God's
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forgiveness by forgiving others, but rather when we
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open our hearts to God's forgiveness for us,
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it will give us the power we need
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to forgive others when they offend against us.
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The key to being forgiven and the key
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to forgiving unlock the same lock.
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They open the same door in our hearts.
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Okay, so what does that mean in the
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workplace?
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It means in the workplace is that when
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we're suffering those little abrasive cuts and bruises,
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or even if it's a more serious thing,
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if someone's genuinely hurt us, maybe someone's spreading
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gossip about us or lying about us, maybe
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a boss is refusing to honor our boundaries
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and pushing us toward burnout.
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Maybe these more serious offenses are there.
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How can we push up that weight of
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forgiveness as God gives us grace?
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What does that actually look like?
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It looks like starting with our sense of
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gratitude for how God has forgiven us through
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Jesus Christ.
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When we return to the cross, when we
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kneel down before the cross and we humble
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ourselves and we thank God for forgiving us
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for our sins, that's what frees us to
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forgive others.
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So if you're struggling with something like this
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at work, if you're struggling with anger or
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annoyance, whether major or minor, with a coworker
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or a boss, go to the cross, kneel
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down, meet Jesus again in his forgiveness for
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you, and then turn and forgive your neighbor.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that you meet us,
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that you give us a way forward, even
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when we are hurt, even when we run
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up against other people's sin.
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Show us how to practice your kind of
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forgiveness.
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Deepen our sense of gratitude for your forgiveness
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for us.
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Do your work in us as we do
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our work with you.
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Thanks for listening.
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