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From Groupon Deals to Multiple Business Lines: How One Spa Owner Built Tocar From a Single Room · Do Small Business Like a Big Boss Podcast

• Aisha Massengill: In any service-based business, the big thing is word of mouth and referrals, right? Like that is the, that is gold. That's what I can tell you that you'll tell your mother to come in or your grandmother or your sister. So that was the biggest thing is asking for referrals and sharing stuff on social media, posting a little bit here and there. I wasn't consistent. I wasn't great at it, but then I joined the Howard Chamber of Commerce and that helped a lot with the visibility with other business owners in the area. But mostly I would say the biggest kind of mover was word of mouth. Because at that time I had no concept about paid ads or how it worked, how to track it, any of that. It was just like, you, here's a little thing. Can you give this to your friends and give this to five of your friends who need a massage? And it worked out pretty well. Welcome to Do Small Business Like a Big Boss, where we explore the real stories, hard-earned lessons, and game changing strategies of entrepreneurs who've moved beyond the side hustle and built businesses that scale with confidence. This show is proudly sponsored by Project Icon. I'm your host, Aisha Jorge Massengill, your Small Business Legal Guide. Let's dive in. Welcome back, bosses, for our latest edition of Do Small Business Like a Big Boss. Today we have Stephen Conti, the founder and CEO of Tokar Spa and Tokar Sport. Located in Columbia, Maryland. Welcome, Stephen. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I do need to add also, we have a new division, Tokar Corporate Wellness. So that's the new one. That's we're still working on the name. It just doesn't flow Tokar Spa, Tokar Sport, Tokar Corporate Wellness. just it's shot. We're working on that. We're figuring out our branding on that. But so that's totality of it. Yeah, we're workshopping it. OK, well, you keep workshopping that and maybe the Maybe the folks who listen to the episode will have some feedback for you and they can hit you up. Please. I'm open to all feedback. Make sure you all hit, Stephen up with that feedback. I'm really excited to have you here. I've, I've admired for a long time, all the work that you do in the Howard County community as a business owner and, and just, and just admiring your hustle, but also admiring the business that you've built. So I thought you would be a natural guest for the show. And I wanted to start by asking you before Tokar Spa was even a twinkle in your eye, what did your life look like before you decided to make this leap? Funny enough, looking back at some journals from high school, I had it written down that I was going to own a spa, but this was kind of like an inverse order, right? Like this was the spa was going to be after my long career in marketing and comms. And I was retiring to the sunset of being a spa owner and you know, but, to get there, um, would say it was 2009. And at that time I was working as a marketing assistant for a law firm in DC. So I was making a trek into, um, a big AmLaw 500 firm. was in the midst of everything that they had going on in the marketing side. So proposals, events, entertainment. And I just kind of got to a point where I would wake up in the morning and just sit in a bed for like 20 minutes thinking about how much I didn't want to go in. And this was more than just a fleeting kind of feeling. This was like, man, I don't really want to do this. I don't want to put a suit on and take the train. And I just, didn't have the passion for that anymore. So I think that was more of like the breaking point is when I would literally sit up and just look and like, I do not want to do this anymore. But this was after I had my massage license or my massage training. So I went into massage training right after undergrad, cause I wanted to get it out the way. I didn't want to wait until, you know, I got too busy with my career and I didn't have time to go into it. So that was a calculated decision to do it early. And then I said to myself, I'm sitting there, why am I doing? Why am I making myself miserable when there's something I really enjoy doing? I had no idea how to monetize it. No idea what type of life that would look like, but it was time for change. It was just really like, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel like I have. this lack of purpose. I was great at my job. Don't get me wrong. was, I did fantastic, but it wasn't my passion. wasn't something that like made me feel good about the work. was like I did the work and I was good at it, but I didn't feel good about it. I didn't feel like fulfilled. Like I felt great that I did a good job and I got good scores or whatever, but it wasn't like, man, I really made a difference with someone. Like, and that's what I feel when I did the work every day here. Like I'm really. directly impacting someone with the work I'm doing. So that was the long-winded answer to say when that breaking point came. But do want to rewind that a little bit because I think maybe I missed a step. You were in high school or college and you had already thought about owning a spa. Yes. But you decided you were going to do the training to get it out of the way, but decided to go into marketing. So how did you then find yourself in marketing instead of just going straight through to the massage? So I was not allowed to take a gap year. My parents said, absolutely not. You're going straight through. If you don't go straight through, you're not going to go and you know, you're going to lose interest for the education portion of it. So that was a pretty big thing. And my household was you're going straight through college, through high school. And if you go further, you go further. I always had an interest in touch through playing sports, like, you know, getting stretched out by the trainers, getting, you know, shakedowns, a little body work. I'm like, man, that feels great. And I used to do it for some of my friends and it's like, man, you're really good at this. And that kind of turned into like, hey, I'm actually, I enjoy doing this and I'm good at it. And I'm getting that confirmation feedback. Like, Hey man, you have magic hands. So I even made in shop class, little business cards that said, know, Steve's massage specials. Like I, you mess around with it, you know, but that was the genesis of it. I kind of had an idea because of just playing around with it. getting verbal feedback. But when I went to school, to college specifically, University of Maryland, I was ⁓ in the business scholars program. So I started off in the business track and ended up in communication with ⁓ marketing as a minor. So then directly out of ⁓ undergrad, I had already known at that point, I wanted to pursue that as like more of a leisure kind of, I was thinking in my mind, like, this is something I want to I'm gonna just enjoy and do later. So I went and finished school by 2006. I was done with both the undergrad and the massage therapy training August, 2026, 2006, not 2006. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that means you're like a month in that would be concerning. That would be concerning for all of your clients. All of a sudden, you're just a month into this, but you describe something interesting. Cause I know it is something that I experienced myself that knowing feeling. I remember when, when I was a very junior attorney, but I was at a spot and every Sunday at five o'clock, I would start to get a knot in my stomach because my brain started pivoting to the next day. And I always just try to listen to those things inside of me. Like, what is that prodding? What is that telling you about where you're going to work every day? And so it sounds like you had a similar experience with the marketing, that it wasn't something you were not good at, but it wasn't necessarily your calling. that kind of accurate? I think that sums it up pretty well. And so you, was there any kind of intermediate step that you took before deciding to go out on your own? Um, yes, I went to go work for a franchise while I was still working at the law firm. So I picked up work at a local franchise and I would get off the Metro, speed up the street to the clinic. you know, strip off my suit and tie, put on, you know, khakis and a polo shirt and work from like 6 to 9 p.m. And I would do that a couple of days out of the week. And then after a while of doing that, I just said, I want to be here much more than I want to be there. So, you know, I made the decision and I, you know, I put my put my my notice in and said, I'm going all in and, you know. I would say the parental figures weren't, weren't all, weren't thrilled with the decision, but it felt right to me. And I felt like it was a time for me to do it because at that point in time, I had literally no other obligations other than myself. I had no one I was responsible for, which is a very big blessing to be specific because a lot of people, they don't have that luxury. They're already, you know, married with children and dependents. I literally had no one else that was depending on me, which was a The best time I thought, I don't think there could have been a better time to do it for me. So I, you know, I did it. went full time in at that clinic and worked there for a few years and then thought, well, I had an opportunity to kind of sublet a space that one of my friends already was leasing. And he brought me on board and Hey, would you be interested in taking over a room in this space? And I said, sure. So I kind of split my time there. a little bit with the franchise and then my own thing. And then at some point, I think 2009, no, 2012 is when I made the full cutoff and it was only Tokar from that point forward. So tell me about those early days of Tokar, right? One of the things that we talk about on this show is like building it messy and even building it scared. What were some of the first real steps that you took to begin your own thing? Man, I, through my building, building the plane in the air, I had no concept of what business was or what business needed to look like, or even what the goal of business really is as an owner, just that I know I can do it better than what I was doing over here and I get to do it on my own terms. So literally no systems. No software really to back it up. No structure, no financing. This was all kind of, you know, I guess you could call it marketing. You know, we jumped in on the Groupon error and just kind of worked like an insane amount of treatments to, you know, build the bridge and get awareness. So it did work in that effect in that sense, but it was something I wouldn't wish on anyone else. I mean, we were talking about these, these were like $39 massages, like, and you're getting paid 15 from Group I. It was pretty, it didn't make sense financially, but it was kind of like figuring out how do I attract people here that don't know I'm here and how do I get started? And I figured if I can get started, I can get going. And that was the only thing I had in my head. It's like, I'm going to just do whatever I need to do to get people in the door. And then once they're here, I'm going to give them. the absolute best experience they've ever had. And it's been working out well so far. you just mentioned Groupon. One of the things I think new business owners struggle with is just the visibility, getting their name out there. What were some of the other things you did outside of Groupon to help get traffic into your business? Well, in any service-based business, the big thing is word of mouth and referrals, right? Like that is the, that is gold. That's what I can tell you that you'll tell your mother to come in or your grandmother or your sister. So that was the biggest thing is asking for referrals and sharing stuff on social media, hosting a little bit here and there. I wasn't consistent. I wasn't great at it. But then I joined the Howard Chamber of Commerce and that helped a lot with the visibility with other business owners in the area. But mostly I would say the biggest kind of mover was word of mouth because at that time I had no concept about paid ads or. how it worked, how to track it, any of that. It was just like, hey, can you, here's a little thing. Can you give this to your friends? Give this to five of your friends who need a massage. And it worked out pretty well. So you just mentioned the Chamber of Commerce. And I know that you're involved in a number of different organizations, including Leadership Howard County. Can you just talk about how you found the chamber or any of those other organizations to be helpful to you or maybe not helpful. And how has that helped you as a business owner get things going? I joined the chamber and for years I was just paying my dues. I had no idea how to utilize the chamber. And once I started understanding the connection between getting involved with the chamber, meaning getting on committees or even showing up to events, Like it's not just you join the chamber and business just starts flowing to you. You have to get to do the hard work of networking and meeting people, not pleading your case, like letting them know you're here and available and let people get to know you as a person, as someone that they or their organization will want to do business with. So I didn't have that concept in my head. didn't really, for probably the first four or five years I was a chamber member. I just paid the dues. And I literally did nothing with it. kind of, you know, don't do that. If if you join the chamber, go to the events, meet the people, network and talk. And you'll find that it's so much more than, you know, just trying to pitch your services as you're really getting, you really getting a sounding board as well. People who are going through the same experiences as you and that people who have, have the scars that can help you avoid. all of the problems and pitfalls they went through too. that was how I started finally using it and it's really been helpful. Were there other organizations outside of the chamber that maybe helped you be a better business owner? For example, organizations that help you think about strategy or financing and you're brick and mortar. So even someone that helped you start to get leases and things like that, where did you go for that kind of help? So again, to some degree of success, did score the small business, I did small business administration, small council of retired executives and got a mentor. That was somewhat helpful. It depends on, you know, who you connected with. I would say the real acceleration started to happen after I did the Goldman Sachs K-small business program. That was a really big help because you're in ⁓ a group environment or cohort with about 30, 32 other people that are on that same journey. But then within that cohort, you have businesses that are $200,000 annual revenue and you have businesses that were 17 million and you're in the same room working on the same project with those folks. It's like, help? Like, how did you do that? Like, tell me how you, how is this possible for someone who seems so accessible? Like in my mind, I'm always thinking like, oh, you know, the big CEOs are like, Unaccessible not down to earth people, but it's like, ⁓ like this is possible. So I would say that would probably the score program initially. And then the 10 KSP program was really, really helpful. But in between, I would say as well, I had a really good CPA that also connected me with a lot of different resources and like, Hey, yeah, you're not doing this right. Let me. Let me help you. Let's get you on payroll. Let's structure this the right way. Let's talk about like how you're structuring everything. And that was kind of, would say that was even go back forward that back, back before the score with my CPA was probably the biggest kind of eyeopening, like, wow, like I really need to do things differently because they're around businesses all walks, shapes and sizes and they see. all of it and kind of see like, okay, here's where you are and here's some things we need to clean up if you really want to make this successful. anytime you talk about CPA makes me think numbers and I try not to seize up, but how, how were you able to approach funding for your business? it that as you were coming out of the marketing position and doing kind of the side massage that you were squirreling away money or did you get more formal funding from banking sources? How did that go for you? It probably wasn't until about 10 years in that I actually went and sought after formal funding from an institution. Up until that point in time, my overhead was so low, my expenses were low. So I didn't need it per se. Well, I didn't know I know that I did need it. That would have accelerated things a lot faster if I would have known, hey, this is sounds scary, but with the proper planning place, this will help accelerate everything you're doing where you don't have to build everything brick by brick, piece by piece. So yeah, I would, the first probably seven, eight, 10 years, was just all whatever I had come in, I would use that to work on future plans or, but then I did get formalized funding from my bank. And again, that helped a lot too. Helped with the acceleration, I would say more so than anything. Yep. ⁓ point did you think, um, Hey, I need to start growing and what were some of the strategies or systems you put into place to help you grow? Good. So good questions. At, at the time I had one treatment room, full use of that seven days a week, if I wanted. And I said, well, I'm working a lot. have my schedules busy from open to close, but I'm not really breaking past this level of revenue. And says, so how, how then can I make better use of my time knowing that massage therapists are in a sense, like a professional athlete, could you use your body to perform a service, but we're not paid like them. Right. So there's a limit to how, and I'll say that with the Astro, there are therapists who practice 40, 50 years on the whole. burnout rate or the average career span of a massage therapist, think it's five to seven years, right? Like people aren't, they don't have this longevity because it's a physically demanding occupation. So my ceiling was looking at, okay, well, how do I break past this point to make the number I want to make to live the life I want to live? And the only way to do that is a scale. And so the way I thought about it as well, I need to have more space. I need to have more business come in. I can't have more business without more employees or more efficient sales strategies or more efficient revenue generating vehicles. So service is one thing, very labor dominant. Products are another thing. Education is another thing. So thinking about different ways to break past this particular ceiling. And that's kind of what really started all the chain of events and the different business lines that I'm working on. So what were some of the qualities that you looked for when you thought about hiring your first employee? My first one was anyone who's available. To be honest, said, you have a license and are you willing to work? And that's been still a big struggle. say to this point in time, just finding the right person with the right fit. As I'm developing more of my managerial and leadership skills, I'm really now looking at fit. before I was looking at availability, because there's people who are available, but they're going to give you headaches along the entire way, which is going to make it not worth even bringing them on board. Now I'm looking at a fit. I'm looking at personality. I'm looking at willingness to learn, willingness to be coached. Basically willingness to get on this program and on this train as we're going in this direction and kind of doing a temperature check. Like where are you? What are your goals? If you're here to hustle and kind of just make a quick bug, this is not really the place for you. If you're interested in really developing relationships with your clients and long-term growth, then here we are and here's how you get to, you know, what you're looking for and how, here's how we benefit each other along the way. That's the conversation that's happening now, not, you know, how much pay is it, or that's not even the leading kind of conversation point. It's more about let's have a conversation so I can get to know who you are. and see if this is worth our mutual time together. So tell me about the team today. How many folks do you have today and how has that been working? So in the spa are six. We have six providers, one admin. With sport, we have 15. And with the corporate wellness, there's six. And a couple of the divisions share bodies, but that's general breakdown, but you said, how is it working with the team I have now? That was the question. Yes. It's great. I feel like we're still developing systems and we're still evolving in terms of processes and things of that nature, but much clearer vision of where we're going and what I want and how to get there. think that's the biggest thing is getting clear from leadership, me, where are we going and what is the pathway to get there? And then also. doing a much better job, making it clear to the employees, here's your role in that. And here's how we all get there together. And kind of like, I guess, selling them to some degree on this is not all about me and all about me just, you know, uncle sprudging and just laying on a, you know, a vault of money laughing and joking. This is, I'm doing this to create. something that's going to be long lasting that everyone benefits from. So I think when starting to connect, like, how do you benefit from this as well? Then it kind of started making more sense and became a little more clear for my staff as well, so they can fully buy in. you have a layer of leadership in between you and your staff that's actually performing services that allows you to focus on? the business matters or are you over people and also the operations of your business? Short answer is I'm working on it. I have a plan in place. I have a very competent administrator right now or assistant right now. The goal is if not with this individual with another person by April, May ish, we'll then hire an actual clinic. administrator. So it'll be myself at the head, the clinic administrator, and then a clinic assistant. The clinic assistant would be primarily dealing with client related concerns. The administrator would be over that person, but overseeing staff related concerns. And then so then that person would be reporting to me. I'd be, you know, It'd be one, it'd be a buffer for me. would be a buffer that is much needed so that I can free myself up to do chamber events, to do marketing events, to get out and spread the word about what we're doing. You know, even our community-based program, we have a, and you heard me talk about this at Sherman, about our Healing for Healers program. Are we giving out free massages for need-based people in the community that are dealing with loved ones, with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, dementia, taking time to get the word out and go and meet people, talk to people and like spread the word is really business development in short is really where I want to spend my time, business development and marketing. Yeah. But I can't do that until I actually hire myself fully out of the clinic and I'm transitioning there, but we're not there yet, but there's a plan in place and it's progressing. So. Yeah. Yeah. So to that vein, how do you protect your energy? Right. While you're in this in-between stage where you may still be providing some services, but have to be out there marketing and, you know, meeting and greeting and all that good stuff. that's a great question. I'm still kind of figuring that out. I know from a schedule standpoint, I've put some more boundaries up for myself, meaning I have certain days that are administrative kind of work on the business days. I'm not working weekends anymore, so now I have more time to invest in my family. So trying to make sure at home is happy. you know, my, my, um, my family constituents, my wife and my daughter are happy. So I'm trying to put boundaries up to shut the laptop off when I'm at home and pick it up when I'm back in as best I can. But eventually what it would look like is I have to continue to have more staff, more competent staff, people that. are retaining their clients, people who are doing a really good job. And that are also my current clients are comfortable with seeing. So then I can slowly work my way out of, and this is not an immediate goal for anyone listening. So it's going to take some time, but I still want to massage, but I really do want to focus more of my time on the marketing and the business development. Hiring service staff, professional staff as a buffer for me to kind of protect my time. So. You know, I don't have to respond to a text message or email at 9 p.m. and say, hey, I need to cancel my appointment. Don't want it to sound arrogant, but that's not something that the owner should be focusing on at 9 p.m. at night. That should be something that someone else's responsibility. Yeah, I In my view, it's not arrogance at all. We all have roles to play, positions to play in an organization and And I always talk about it in terms of operating in your gifts. It's not necessarily operating in your gift to deal with administrative tasks that are more appropriate for other people. And I think for my listeners, they should also consider that as they're able. I think I recently heard Dan Martel talk about this where he said he gives you calculation. It's excellent. he, you know, he does, allows you to do a calculation and it's like, If your hourly rate, if the task is below a certain hourly rate, you should not be engaged in that task. And I would say as a founder and CEO of Tokar Spa, know, navigating through someone's scheduling is probably not the best use of your time. I think it's not. It's not, but historically and where I've been so far, it has been part of my experience, but that's again, this education for my clients and know, Hey, you know, I have. ex person available now messes them. You're good. know. Well, that's a huge point that I want to get your perspective on, right? When you are a service provider, when I go to get my hair done, I'm going to my hairdresser. When my clients come to me for legal services, they want me. But in order to scale at some point, everyone can't see Steve. So how do you give them confidence, right, in the other service providers in your business that they're literally still in good hands? don't think it matters anything what I say. So I could tell you Aisha is the absolute second coming of Steven, right? Like she's awesome. Yeah. I don't want to see Aisha. So it almost has to be a point where I can't try to sell them on someone's attributes. I'll have to say, come in and try this person. Like come in and we'll make it, we'll make it fun. We may do like a training day where I'm going to show her him her exactly how you like it. This is the like coming from me. I'm showing them perfectly. And I'm not saying I'm quitting on you because I've heard that before. You can't quit. You can't leave. I've been threatened. I've been like, you know, ⁓ bribed like, no, no, what do you need to like? And I was like, no, it's not, I don't want to leave the position, but if I want any chance of this company surviving, I have to get out of this role. Like that's not optional. So if you want the tow car that you love and see today, it can't just be Steven that is carrying the brand. So this is an effort to sustain the entire operation. hopefully you can understand that. Give it a shot. If you don't like it, we'll come back and talk about it. But it's more of a, like a convincing, like you're in good hands. I've trained them personally. I've gone through the protocols with them. I've shown them. And, and at some point, if either you're unwilling to attempt it or try it, then it's like, I've made a good faith effort. I value you as a client. I'm telling you, I'm leaving you in good hands. Just try it. If you're not willing to try it, then you know. I appreciate it, but like I cannot stay in this role forever. And I can't stay on these weekends forever. I can't stay at six o'clock. Like I just can't. So how can we work this out? How can we use the problem, shoot this together? So really giving folks an option to say, I'm not available at this time anymore, but here's when I am available. And if that doesn't work, I do have someone available at the exact same time. Just try it. And then if not, it's, you know, I don't, don't, I don't like the term, you know, dismissing the client or anything like that. Cause that sounds like it's, you know, punitive, but it's like, I have to be in a different room right now. cannot be here anymore. So it's just that I think as long as you're communicating honestly and with integrity, like, and it's not like, oh, last minute, oh, I'm not working weekends anymore. And like, just saw you the month before I let people know like six, seven months in advance. at January 1, 2026, I'm off weekends. Like I cannot be on weekends anymore. Yeah. ⁓ well, what am I going to do? We'll figure it out. Then miraculously people find, well, I can come in on Tuesday. can, okay. What do know? Yeah. And it's like, well, I've been like holding out thinking like this is going to be a problem for you and you could have done it, but you didn't want to. So it's like, yeah, it's just operating with honesty and integrity and just being upfront and saying like, hey, this is decision that needs to happen. And I hope you understand. there's a big debate, it's not the right word, but clearly, you know, is everywhere. And there's a discussion around what careers are in danger of being replaced. And sometimes when I think about plumbers, I think I've heard Elon, and this is not an endorsement of Elon, but heard him talking about, plumbers and electricians, they're still a role for those folks, right? But I recall you talking about robotic kind of massages. Have you adopted that into your practice? And if so, how's that been going? So the genesis of even robotic massages is things you could think about it like a Brookstone store, right? Those massage chairs you sit in and it engulfs you or at the pedicure station. So the concept is not new. This has been around for 20, 30 years, even a handheld old massagers from Brookstone. had the two little thumper heads and it was just, so we utilize more advanced technology, like actual tech that like the NFL and MLB use with massage guns, electric cupping machines, you know, all kinds of, you know, there's, have masks in the spa to do temple and eye massage. So when you're face up, you don't have kind of a bright light experience, you're kind of getting some extra attention. I think those are great as an additive to the touch. Now I'll say this as well. There's a company in New York that has invented kind of a proprietary table. So it doesn't, it has these robotic arms. So you put on a body suit with sensors, you lay down in it and it, you now for a casual person at a particular price point, would that work? Sure. But I don't think, I don't think that's what most people want. I think there's a certain market of people that would want that. Like the people who go in the gym and want to lay down on a massage bed with the water jets. That kind of, there's a market for people who are kind of casual. They don't really either value it or see the need for paying someone to do hands-on treatment. But I don't think I'm in terms of an industry that is going to be replaced by AI. I don't, I don't see it happening right now. I would say, I think it would behoove everyone to understand this capabilities and figure out how you can utilize it to improve your business and how you can utilize it to make operations more efficient. How do you use these programs to help you? But in terms of the actual treatment, not seeing it right now, like as a In 2026, I'm not seeing it as a viable replacement even to the entry level massage therapist. I'm Team Human Touch. I've gone to, I'm here at the massage because I want the human touch. I get frustrated when I get the elbows from a therapist. Like I'm not, I want the fingers. That is why I came here. Otherwise I will pay $5 and sit in the chair at the mall, which never fits my body, right? Because I'm short, but that's another story for another day. You started at the beginning of our conversation talking about the resistance that you got from your parental units about this flight of fancy of massage. Was there a time where you said, man, I'm doing this and I've made it? And the second part of that is, was there a time when your parents were finally like, good job, son, this is a real thing? Probably the answer is both in the same event. Okay. When I had... my grand opening at my new location and we had the chamber folks out. We had a ribbon cutting. had the Calvin Ball came out the county exec and had photos. I mean, it was a big deal. I think that's kind of like when I was like, okay, like I've been operating well before, but I feel like this is like, okay, I have a place where I have Tokar is the only name on the door. I'm not a shared space in this covert room with the third floor and no windows. Like I actually have a space that I'm in that I designed. I picked out the flooring, the decor. Like this feels like home. And it felt like at that moment that I think, I mean, they've told me, we're very proud of what you're doing. actually being in the space and seeing it and like that front of like, okay, this was, this was, this was kind of like my, not my dream to be recognized, but it's good to be like, okay, you see it too now. Like, yeah. That's beautiful. So that would probably be say that would be a two in one on that event. was like, yeah, we've friends, family, business college. Yeah. We, we've made it past COVID. We've made it past the startup, you know, like, which that's a whole nother podcast topic, how we survive COVID, but. Yeah. Yeah. Well, tell me a little, tell me a little bit about that. I mean, with things shutting down, how did you survive? Four months. Four months of not being able to work. So my daughter was just born in that September before the shutdown. So I think mentally how I survived, I spent a lot of time with her. I mean, we were going on. two hour walks in the stroller, we were just out. And that's mentally, like walking the golf courses, just talking to friends on the phone, moving around, just being out of, just sitting in a space and feeling horrible for myself. But I think our county, Howard County, did an amazing job to support small businesses. And I think the state did a great job as well. So resources were available. I mean, obviously unemployment, you don't want to do it unless you really need to, because I felt like I was still in a... I wasn't in a dire place. had a spouse that was working, but it was still tough. was like, you know, it was not an easy transition and we were worried about, am I an essential employee? Can I even work? Will I ever be able to go to work? And then that transition when we were allowed to go back to work, a boulevard mouse, you couldn't breathe, it's hot. It's just like, it was a, it was a difficult period, but we made it through that. So like, you know, like, okay. I say all the time, I'm like, do people realize we survived the plague? Like we survived an actual plague, right? Like what a, you know, definitely condolences to the millions of families and family members who were impacted. I was impacted, lost some family members during that time, but I'm, you know, have a greater sense of gratitude to be here, to be on the other side and, know, to have flourished and not just like survived. So, um, It was an incredible time. But if you could go back thinking about your journey and tell yourself like one thing about getting to the other side, because we're talking about that seminal moment where you got the ribbon cutting for the second or third location. If there's something you go tell your younger self about how to think about the other side, what would it be? What piece of advice would you give your younger self about the process? Enjoy it. None of it is quite guaranteed. I think that, you know, you could put together the most well laid plan and everything you could hit a COVID, right? Like, you know, so enjoy the process more, like enjoy the building and don't get as consumed with, gotta have X in my bank account. I need this number. Obviously goals are good to have. gives you a place to reach for, to set your standards against your KPIs. But Enjoy the process, get mentorship. And I would think that that is probably, that maybe should be number one. Get mentorship and get, get competent mentorship. That's like I said, I, I work with the score and it was just like, you know, it was just the most vague kind of general, well, you might want to, like, it was no one that really would sit down with you and like really like spend some time. So find you and you have to find it. Cause I think. I don't know if that program has been completely gutted because it doesn't, I'm not sure what's happening since this administration has come in with the SBA score program, but don't be afraid to go across lines, meaning to someone that works in a different industry, because you're much more likely to get friendly faced than someone who's willing to open up if they don't see you as their competition. ⁓ So go to a restaurant owner and say, Hey, you five locations. How did you do it? Like, can you walk me through it? Are you able to talk about it? Can I take you out to lunch or coffee and pick your brain or, you know, a legal provider or a law firm? Like, how did you build this business? How on earth did you sustain yourself? I think seeking good mentorship and some finding someone that's willing to have a good conversation with you and willing to share is important. I don't quite know, like, is there any resource that gives you these great built-in people, but I think you have to be active and looking for someone. But then just enjoy the process and stop every now and again. You know, we had a journaling kind of exercise that was brought to our attention and like at the 10 K SB program. It's like literally like document everything that has happened in this year and do a recap. then like, literally look at all the things that you did, all the things that you accomplish, all the things that have gone right. And kind of focus on that and like take some time to take some inventory of that and be proud of yourself because it's not an easy journey. Not everyone's going to understand it. Not the people that are closer to you aren't going to be on board. And it can be lonely at times. But if it's in your heart, it's just tugging at you of something you're passionate about and something that feeds you, not just food wise, but like gives you like juice. I love being around people and I don't think I could survive being in a house working from home. Like that's just not my energy. As long as you're doing something that's feeding you your soul. Like, I think that is important. think that's kind of a starting point to kind of start with. That's so important. I think of it in the context of, we're so programmed to think about how far we have to go that we don't take a pause to look back about how far we've come. And I do that in something as simple as when I'm walking my dog and it's, I'm like in Meadowbrook Park and it's just like, ⁓ my goodness, there's so much road. And when you look back, you're like, man, I've come a long way. I think... Mel Robbins even has an exercise that she suggests people do at the end of the year where you look through your pictures as kind of like a refresher for you about all the things that have happened and the things that you've done. Cause we're such grinders, I think as a nation, we just always think about what's next and how much more do we still have to go. But it's like, man, you have to just pause and clap for yourself sometimes. It's clap for yourself. It's what we've done. Look at this. Look how far we've come, man. This is amazing. What's actually cool about that. A lot of my clients have been with me from that Groupon era. And they're the ones like sitting in this position to say, dude, you know how far you've come? Like how proud I am? Like how do you realize like everything that you said you were going to do, you've done everything that you've attempted to do, you've progressed to it. And it's like seeing those people from 12 years back, like, man, you're right. Like I was kind of grinding out of a one room place and like, yeah. So take some time. You're right. That is a good reflective point. Take some time and look back and say, you know what? Yeah. Clap it up. It's all right. Clap it up. Clap it up. Okay. Going to get you out here with this. I ask all my guests this question. When you hear the phrase, do small business like a big boss, what does it mean to you? I would say it means really use your systems to propel yourselves. Like really dive into systems that will help you Elevate yourself. Don't try to do all of it on your own. Seek out systems and perfect those systems in order to grow. Because in my mind, the big boss is not someone who rules in the kitchen, you know, chopping up the celery. They're a person that is steering the ship. Hey, here's where we are. This is where this organization needs to go. Here's a strategy and we're going to implement it downhill. And you guys are going to be responsible for implementing it, but I'm, need the space and time to be motivated, be filled with energy, to kind of figure out where we're going and how to navigate this kind of operation from the front. So as a small business, you don't necessarily have the resources that these Fortune 500 companies have. So you have to utilize systems and utilize your time very, very well. in order to kind of get out of the mud, guess is a better, I'm sure there's a better word of saying it, but you know, to elevate yourself so that you can be the leader that your business needs you to be and not, you know, reactive. We need to be planning and proactive. Awesome. Stephen, where can the people find you? Well, if you are in Howard County, you can find me at ⁓ Tokar Spa located at ⁓ 10630 Little Patuxent Parkway. We're right by the mall. We are an appointment only spa. However, you can send a message to my office assistant. You can find us on social media, www.tocarspa.com. You can book an appointment there. If you need a consultation, feel free to call. We're happy to help. But we are looking forward to seeing you, meeting you, serving the good folks of Howard County and the Baltimore region and the like. Awesome. Thank you so much for your time today, for your wisdom and all the gems you've dropped. And for my bosses out there, remember, you can build that dream messy, you can build it scared, but just don't build it small. Thank you for your time today. Thank you. I appreciate it.