Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / When your partner keeps posting memories from their past… would you be bothered?

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When your partner keeps posting memories from their past… would you be bothered? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, wake up Anela and.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: The club on nine four seventh.
• 0:06
  Speaker 4: Now, yoh, you guys have all sorts of problems.
• 0:09
  Speaker 5: Eh, everything happens in your household. We listen, We don't judge.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Hi, Anela and the team.
• 0:16
  Speaker 6: Yoh yeah, No, I have a colleague name, and she's
• 0:21
  Speaker 6: fighting with her husband because like he was previously married,
• 0:26
  Speaker 6: So like say it's his mom's birthday or his sister's birthday,
• 0:29
  Speaker 6: he will post pictures of them from his first wedding
• 0:32
  Speaker 6: and not from my friend's wedding, his current wife's wedding.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Is that okay? Is that right?
• 0:41
  Speaker 7: No?
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: It's not. Oh no way, goodbye?
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: See yeah no, but I hang on a second. He's
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: obviously not posting the ex wife in the pictures. He's
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: posting like.
• 0:51
  Speaker 5: It's the very next step, my friend. This is how
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: you This is how he's conditioning you for.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no no no no no no. That's
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the nicest picture he has of his mom. That's not
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the point.
• 1:01
  Speaker 7: Why does he stole go back to those photos to
• 1:04
  Speaker 7: realize that they are the better draft? And why weren't
• 1:07
  Speaker 7: your relatives happy at your second wedding?
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: That's also suspicious.
• 1:10
  Speaker 8: Because you were younger at your first wedding. You were
• 1:13
  Speaker 8: maybe like five to ten years younger. If you go
• 1:15
  Speaker 8: back and look at photos of us, guys from five
• 1:16
  Speaker 8: to ten years ago, we were smashing.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, guys.
• 1:19
  Speaker 7: I never I would never allow my partner to post
• 1:21
  Speaker 7: any photo from their previous wedding.
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: Guys, just just right now, we're going to solve this
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: very quickly. So I'm telling you this is going to
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: be the shortest discussion. Ahead, go onto your phones, all
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: of you, to your phones, Go on to your into
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: your gallery, and then this.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Is how it happens. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: And then just scroll, just scroll into your gallery, long, long, long,
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: just scroll, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. I have
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: landed on to twenty first of water, the eighteenth of March.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: There we go. It's a picture.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: Okay, open it March no, no, and in any dates.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: It's fine. O.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: Do you have a photo there? Look at that picture.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: As you look at that picture, do you not go
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: back to that day?
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: You actually do?
• 2:05
  Speaker 8: Okay, So I opened one of like an electric scooter
• 2:08
  Speaker 8: on the twenty fifth of July twenty nineteen.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: So you think yourself, why was that?
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: But what I'm like, where is this?
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: What is this?
• 2:15
  Speaker 9: Oh?
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: This was when I went to New Zealand. Okay, who
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: was I worth? Exactly? Okay? Are you in exactly? Its closed?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I went to the twenty second of April and it's food,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: isn't it? No, it's a photo. Gal got it. I
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know why.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Girl got the lady who played Superwoman? Why Woman?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know why exactly?
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: Now we have questions. Right then? Then then go out
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: and then you're gonna.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Look at the picture before and the picture afterwards. You're
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: trying to place yourself there, trying to figure out what
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: was happening in this photo. So when you post pictures
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: from your first wedding, you are placing yourself at your
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: first wedding for a good while, thinking about it, reminiscing
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: about it, all of that stuff. That is the issue
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: the wife has, and she is right to have an issue,
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: because why are you constantly placing yourself at your first wedding?
• 3:07
  Speaker 9: Yeah?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I don't, I don't see it like that. I just
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: looked for a nice photo of my mom.
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: But you know how far back you have to go
• 3:15
  Speaker 7: to find a nice if you.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Just search on your gallery like you've got the faces tagged,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: so you just go mom and.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: Nine hundred pictures of your mom, and the one you
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: go for is the day you were marrying another woman.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: That's when you look the best. The others are.
• 3:29
  Speaker 7: Because your second wading out.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: As I don't want to say, I'm saying that I
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: just search. I searched when I search, and Ala, then
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I just picked a nice photo. That's nice.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: Give me a favor.
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: If you ever want to post me, please don't post
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: me at the at the time you're wedding your first wedding,
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: don't you nice?
• 3:49
  Speaker 8: Can we post you like if I was there with you?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: No, it's not my first.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: No one is allowed to podcast, so.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: No guys, guys.
• 3:57
  Speaker 7: For example, a picture of your mother, a bunch of
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: pictures with her from Mother's Day, which was a day
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: about her. Why the wedding memory in particular, and why
• 4:06
  Speaker 7: is that struck you?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: So? Oh?
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: On my at my first wedding? Hey, my mother looks stunning?
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: Did we look great at Frank's first wedding?
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: I'll liver postos pictures again. Thank you.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: By there hasn't been a second, so we're hoping holding
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: holding thumb, holding down cryst.
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: A young thing got one with three more marriages, And.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: If I put my back in, did you play the
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: lots all right?
• 4:29
  Speaker 8: Oh?
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: One one eighty eight thirty eight nine four seven.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: The question here is simple.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: This lady has a colleague and the colleague is currently
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: in the fight with her husband. When the husband's post
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: people for birthdays, anniversaries, Happy Mother's Day, Happy Christmas, anything,
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: he always uses photos from his first wedding and she
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: is the wife now, so there are pictures from the
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: second wedding.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, that's the only thing that for me is
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a little bit strange because if I did have if
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: there were pictures from a second wedding and everyone was
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: there and you looked good, I would agree with you
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: that those are probably the ones that you want to use, Jude,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: even if.
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: You guys look bad, even if you guys signed and
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: cantoluais what do they call it in English? Yes, even
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: if you guys signed it, those are the ones you
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: must post.
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: Stop stop posting it. First wedding the end or are
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: we are we losing it?
• 5:19
  Speaker 10: Well?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I think the wedding is a is a I mean
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: it's a very strong example, but to that point, it's like,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: can I post photos from a Brie with in another relationship?
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: Yes, because it's not it's not it's not such a Yeah,
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: it's not table mountain, it's not a key point. I
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: don't know what was happening on the good for you
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: not just out Okay, I see what you're saying. Oh
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: one one eighty eight thirty eight nine four seven, send
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: us a voice of zero eight four double zero double
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: zero nine four seven. I like the fact that this
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: lady sent the voice. No, she's not a custodian of
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: this problem. She has taken it upon her hands to
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: solve this. She probably said to the call you know what,
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna ask an Eli in the club.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go there Hi and.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Ela and the team.
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: Yah.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a colleague name and she's fighting with
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: her husband because like he was previously married. So like
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: say it's his mom's birthday or his sister's birthday, she
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: will post pictures of them from his first wedding and
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: not from my friend's wedding his current wife's wedding.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Is that okay? Is that right?
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Christions thatn't need answers.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see I'm about to be on the
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: wrong side.
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: Of the about of the being on the wrong side
• 6:29
  Speaker 7: of his story, sponging in Pretoria.
• 6:31
  Speaker 9: Good morning, Good morning Anile and the team, Morning Color.
• 6:37
  Speaker 9: How are you guy? Okay, the wife has the right
• 6:46
  Speaker 9: to fight. Actually, if I can be honest, I don't
• 6:52
  Speaker 9: think the guy is over the first one. Yeah, I
• 6:55
  Speaker 9: don't think he's over the first wife. I was married
• 6:58
  Speaker 9: to someone who was still stuck in his previous relationship
• 7:02
  Speaker 9: and we are divorced.
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: Now, what was.
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: The final strow for you to be like? Actually, thanks
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: to buy.
• 7:10
  Speaker 9: You know the guy. You couldn't say anything about the
• 7:15
  Speaker 9: first wife or the late wife. You couldn't say anything,
• 7:20
  Speaker 9: and he never protected me, like he was not in
• 7:23
  Speaker 9: the marriage.
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: To be honest, Okay, but you said late wife. So
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: she passed away. You lost the fight to a ghost.
• 7:29
  Speaker 7: Or you never went against the ghost.
• 7:33
  Speaker 9: It's okay, it's complicated. There were stories, but you would
• 7:37
  Speaker 9: never say anything about this late wife.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: And there were stories.
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry, but there.
• 7:46
  Speaker 9: Was Yeah, I can't say on air what maybe someone
• 7:51
  Speaker 9: might be listening. Yeah, but it was complicated. At the
• 7:55
  Speaker 9: end of the day, the guy proved that he's still
• 7:58
  Speaker 9: in love with it the late wife.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: And.
• 8:03
  Speaker 9: Yeah, he married me for other reasons that he knows.
• 8:08
  Speaker 9: But she wasn't because he was in love with me.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: When when he married you, was she still alive?
• 8:13
  Speaker 9: No?
• 8:13
  Speaker 7: No, no, no, okay, So how are you speaking ill
• 8:18
  Speaker 7: of a dead woman?
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So many questions?
• 8:20
  Speaker 9: No, no, no, I'm not speaking ill. Speaking ill means I'm
• 8:25
  Speaker 9: saying things that never happened. But if things happened, it happened,
• 8:32
  Speaker 9: I'm not thinking it.
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: Did she did she pass away under dubious circumstances?
• 8:37
  Speaker 9: Yeah? She No, she committed suicide.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Nice And was he being blamed for her doing that?
• 8:49
  Speaker 9: No? No, no, no, he wasn't.
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, I think maybe it wasn't necessarily that you had.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: To compete with him. It's just he felt he could.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: He didn't save her, He felt he should have done
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: something for me. Yeah, you guilt, Yeah, it was guilt,
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: and that that that you Your relationship was never going
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: to survive that because he had to do the work
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: himself and then go into a relationship. So now you've
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: got a hot potato there.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 9:16
  Speaker 9: Yeah, unfortunately I know we have a child together.
• 9:20
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I still want to know what you said, though,
• 9:27
  Speaker 7: I mean.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Sorry to everyone.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: I think I think in a in a fight with him,
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: may have said a few things.
• 9:37
  Speaker 9: No, no, no, I said things that happened that he
• 9:40
  Speaker 9: told me it happened.
• 9:42
  Speaker 7: That's sorry.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: This is where he too complicated for us on a
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Monday morning. Sounds sounds intense.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I know this.
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: This is like because in a relationship, obviously you guys
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: are each other's vault, so you tell each other things, right,
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: and then when you guys start fighting.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Comes out.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he used to pee apit until you were twelve.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. I told you that that
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: was very specific.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: What did you go back to in your vault?
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: Hi?
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Aniela and the team?
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, No.
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: I have a colleague now and she's fighting with her
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: husband because like he was previously married. So like say
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: it's his mom's birthday or his sister's birthday, she will
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: post pictures of them from his first wedding and not
• 10:35
  Speaker 6: from my friend's wedding his current wife's wedding.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Is that okay? Is that right?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: No?
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: It is not. It is never right.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Well, like I said, I think he's just going out
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: to his phone and finding the first picture of his mom,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: which happens to be at his wedding. Maybe it's not
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: such a big deal.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: Photos are memories, right, Yeah, And memories can be in.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: Photos or in your head.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: When you post them, you are saying to us that
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: those photos are in your memories, and it's something that
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: you consider and you go to a lot.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So I don't think it's that deep. I think this
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: man is just finding a photo of his mom.
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: No, you have to scroll quite a long while to
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: find a picture of your mom at your first wedding
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: when you've been married again.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, I'm not disputing the fact that he'll definitely
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: recognize it's his first wedding.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: Yes, he knows what he's doing.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: But it's a nice photo of his mom.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: Because now we can even go into semanities, be like, Okay,
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: when was his first wedding fifteen years ago?
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: When was his other wedding two years ago?
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: My guy, you would rather post pictures of people fifteen
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: years ago than the one that's two years ago.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Find another picture to post off your sister.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: I'm sure she's been to other weddings as well, including
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: her own.
• 11:40
  Speaker 10: Perhaps Sarah, hello Neli in the club.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: Hello.
• 11:48
  Speaker 10: Yes, So I think it's not that deep. I think
• 11:51
  Speaker 10: it's coming up in this man's Facebook memories on the
• 11:53
  Speaker 10: day of their birthday, and I think he's lazy, and
• 11:56
  Speaker 10: you just repost it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: That's even worse. Well, I hate lazy.
• 12:00
  Speaker 10: Man, so I'm not saying it's right. I should have
• 12:04
  Speaker 10: the fact, but I think he's just lazy. I don't
• 12:07
  Speaker 10: think he's going back and looking at pictures from ages ago.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: I think he has pictures of this wedding and that's
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: why he chooses to post those ones. Clearly he didn't
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: enjoy his most recent weading.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: And that's also another.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: Thing, because there's this notion that your second wife is
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: supposed to make you happier than your first one. It's
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: not a given, guys, and life happens. So clearly that's
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: what he's saying that actually that's the day that stands
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: out in his life.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, look, I'm with Sarah here. I basically agree. I
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: basically agree with you, Sarah. I think the man's just lazy.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. He's just finding the first photo.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: The attachment isn't necessarily as strong as what we're thinking.
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: Guy, if he's so lazy, where's he going to find
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: the energy to get a third wife?
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: Because that's where it's going now.
• 12:54
  Speaker 10: That is he's lazy.
• 12:55
  Speaker 9: He should get in trouble.
• 12:56
  Speaker 10: But I think he's just lazy.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: So we're all in agreement that it is wrong. But
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: he's just lazy, that's what you say.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, Sarah, have you been have you? Are you divorced?
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: I've never been married, never been married?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, but would you post you so in this situation,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: would you post photos of the previous relationship or not?
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: If it was like a Brie?
• 13:18
  Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm may because if everyone was looking really.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: Good, you know?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: You see so you're also lazy? Yeah, you and me both.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: What's wrong with you people? Why are you never looking
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: good like? I think that's the issue at hand.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna tied. You look good once every five years.
• 13:36
  Speaker 10: These days, we don't go back through photos.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: It's a lot of works.
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: She many, it's a no, Sarah, thank you for this,
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: for this insight. But I still hold my I'm holding
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: court here where I stand.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: This man something is sinister and it's going on. Sad
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: to making your morning
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Nine four seven