Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Are You Being Sledged, ZipCoded, Or Monkey-Barred? The Ways You're Finding Love in 2026

Transcript

Are You Being Sledged, ZipCoded, Or Monkey-Barred? The Ways You're Finding Love in 2026 · I Do, Part 2

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. It is Sunday, March twenty ninth. It
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: is spring, and for all of you single folks out
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: there who are looking for love, we've got the top
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: new dating trends of twenty twenty six. And I don't
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: know why it's fun for us coupled up folks to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: even maybe just look at all the folks looking for
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: love and seeing what's hot, what's not what.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: People are looking for these days.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I get a big kick out of looking at these
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: dating trends and the words that folks come up with
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to describe them. Maybe it's just me, but without everyone,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: welcome to this episode of Amy and DJ.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Baby, do you get into it too?
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Do you get as tickled by some of these trends
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and how they name them as I do?
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I get concerned that the person I'm engaged to marry
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: is so interested in dating trends. That's where I am
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: on this whole. Then I don't find it. Maybe I
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: would find it cute or funny if it wasn't my
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: fiance who keeps bringing these things to me. But sure,
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: let's go have a good time talking about what it'd
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: be like to date these days. Hmmm, sounds fun.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I think I look at it through this lens. He
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: went through a lot to be together. We went through
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: lots of other relationships and made a ton of mistakes
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: along the way. And I think it's interesting from a
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: sociological standpoint to take a look and see how people
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: try to find their one and what works, what doesn't,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: and how things change and evolve.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: You know, in our kids.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: My daughters are obviously in the middle of that era
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: in their.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Lives, and your young one is about to enter it.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's just that's okay, now you you're going too far.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Now she's thirteen.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: That's when it starts. I know you started to hear
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: way that.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Boy, it's not as a father.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: You need to know this.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I need to know what the dating trends are.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: You might.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: No, this is fun.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: This is fun because Cosmo actually explained why why there
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: were so many new terms, and I thought this was cool.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: They said it creates a shared.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Language that we can all use to talk about the
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: confusing and sometimes even frustrating.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Parts of looking for love.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I think that is isn't that part of the goal
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: for most people? Maybe they don't even realize it, but
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: that is what we tend to do. We spend our
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: lives looking for love, looking for that relationship.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Why though we're looking for is that really the purpose?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: When people go out there and they start dating, they
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: get on these dating apps, are you really looking for love?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know what people are looking for necessarily these days.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: That was just an article it wasn't in the Times
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: today about how people have turned on marriage, the idea
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: of marriage these days. I don't know dating these days,
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know what people are looking at yet.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Well, there might not be a shared goal, and that's
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: part of some of these new trends. But I do
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: think everyone wants to feel loved, to feel seen, to belong,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: to have a partner, to have someone to go through
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: life with.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, as many people don't necessarily admit that.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: That's just human nature. It is just in us. You
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: don't want to be alone. Nobody does. Even if you
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: tell yourself that mentally, man, nobody wants that. So yeah,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: it's a struggle for a lot of people. And it's
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, it could be a challenge, it could be frustrating,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: but it is rewarding, it is fulfilling. So and you
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: talk about all these the names they give. Isn't that
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: just social media? These bigs it is?
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: It's TikTok and social media.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But I do think there is something cool about having
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: a shared experience with someone where you can actually relate
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: to it with the term yeah, I want that or
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: that happened to me. And I just think that it
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: creates a sense of belonging. When you have a shared experience,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: you put.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: A name on it.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: It's kind of funny and somehow it just it makes
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: it all make a little more sense maybe, And this
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: whole notion of not feeling alone, that other people are
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: experiencing or want the same things.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: We're all looking for that we all want to belong.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: We want labels, We want an easy way to categorize
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: ourselves this or on that which is not. I don't
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: find that to be the best way to go about it,
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: but I see and social media aide. With so many
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: videos and so limited and how much you can say
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: and how much time you can say it, and how
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: many characters you can use, it's easy to have just
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: one word to say that this is blank and what
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I don't even know what was it? Leg you'd have
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: me do one real light.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: That was one of the newest.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: That was when you you go someone for a bit
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: and then you come back and you try to make
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: them think that you never left.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Like nothing ever happened, which is hilarious.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, so see everyone ghost people might have a story
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: like that and they feel seen when there's a label
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: that it happened to other people too. So yeah, I've
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: been ghostly or I've done the ghost lighting, but most
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: people wouldn't admit that. I do think let's have some
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: fun here, but there are some actual interesting discussions about
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: where we are is a societ when it comes to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: finding that person. So I think that there are some
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: really interesting details in the fun of giving these labels.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: The first one, how many you got?
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I picked out the ones that I hadn't heard of before,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: so I've got lessie, I've got one, two, three, four,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: five dating trends, and then I've got labels for the
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: type of partner you're looking for.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: So I run this is thorough.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: I didn't even though they were five dating trends out there.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I chose the ones we haven't already talked about. We
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: don't already know ghost lighting was among them, but I
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: thought we've already been there, done that.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: So how about this one? Schalance?
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Chalance?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Guess what chalance is? This is a new dating trend chalance. Schalance.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Is it shalancing? Or I got chalance? Or we are
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: in a schalance like romance.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It's the type of relationship you're looking for, a chalance relationship.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Put them together a lance. So I'll go romance at
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: the end, and then I'll say shell so as ay'll love.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: A relationship is a schalance.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You're hilarious. The opposite of nonchalance, the opposite.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: So you want a partner who isn't afraid to go
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: all in, who isn't nonchalant.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: It's basically the opposite of a situationship, right, use.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: That in the sentence for me? Used the chalance in
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: a sentence Seriously, I am struggling.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I want a chalance relationship.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: They want a partner who puts in the effort, who
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: goes into the relationship saying I am all in. I
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: want this to work. I am looking for a serious
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: partner versus someone who's like, eh, we'll see what happens.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm nonchalant about it. We'll like, we'll
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: see where we end up. Okay, you want someone to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: go in with an agenda and someone who's looking for
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: an outcome of permanence.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, married at first sight. Those are all people who
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: would classify as shalance.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: You just nailed it all.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: You know what, you just nailed The reason why I
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: merited first Sight has been so successful, and we've seen
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: so many people show up for the auditions because they
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: are saying, I am ready, I am ready for a
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: chalance relationship.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: And everybody who is there clearly wants to get married
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: and wants to take it seriously.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: That's coming together next one.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: It took me a second. This is gonna be fun.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Sledging is a dating trend. It's a dating trend, sledging,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: sledge sledge.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: I immediately go to hammer.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I did too, but I was wrong.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, schlepping, that's not the same.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna get it because I was
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: kind of blown away. So think about the sled sledging
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: a sled. Okay, so let me I'll explain this. So
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: the the definition is getting into a cuffing season relationship
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: with the intention of breaking things off by spring.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I mean this is really dark.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So basically you're sledging the other person because the other
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: person didn't know that the relationship had an expiration date.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: And how they explain it is sledged a sled. Okay,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: the sled is the act of dragging someone through the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: snow in the wintertime with no intention of actually continuing
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: the relationship once you get to warmer weather.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Now are we on the same page? Do people enter
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: relationships with the understanding that all this is is a
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: sledge relationship?
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: They said that in most of these cases, the other
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: person has no idea they're being sledged, but someone goes
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: in with an agenda, Hey, I really would like to
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: couple up with someone during the cold months.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Once it gets warm.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I'm running, I got my tan on, I'm going to
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: be looking for playing all summer long.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Okay, isn't that just the same as a summer love
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: or a flinging.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: But you've entered into a relationship during a period of
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: time when a lot of people get serious and start
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: building on a foundation of something to then carry it
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: into the spring and summer.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: And you're speaking of nefarious intent, like you go into
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: it meaning to fool somebody into thinking you're going to.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I've been sledged or I am sledging someone. Yes, it's
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: a very negative term, but people describe relationships that suddenly
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: they found themselves being sledged.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, but the sledge error is that person. Are
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: they suggesting that person knows what they're doing, they're going
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: into it. Okay, that's problem.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, so it's kind of like a beware of a sledge.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Gotcha, gotcha?
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, how about this one.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Another big trend of twenty twenty six is the friend
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: fluence romance. So according to Tinder, they have like a
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: big year ender. I think we might have even talked
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: about it. And in their year ender, they found that
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: forty two percent of singles say their friends are the
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: major influence on their love life.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: So they let their.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Friends kind of help guide them whether or not to
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: date someone or not, and they say, you're gonna love
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: You're not.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: A part of this trend.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Thirty seven percent of folks on tenders say they are
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: looking to go on double dates and group dates, like
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: they want to their friends into their relationship. So they
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: want to have somebody who fits in well with their
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: friend group, and that's a huge part of their decision
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: as to who they date, and then they also look
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: at their friends love lives as a huge source of
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: hope for their own. So everything they're seeing their friends
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: do is influencing who they pick, who they choose to date,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: and why they choose to date.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: That that sounds practical. You want somebody to fit into not
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: just your mold, but the things you have going. I
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: think I don't have that big of a problem with it,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: but it could. It could lead you to closing the
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: door on something good or great, or quite frankly, you
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: give other people in your life too much power. They
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: might be the problem in your relationship and your relationship
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: not the problem in your friendships.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I think we've heard this on dating. We watch a
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: lot of dating shows.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: If anyone who listens to our podcast knows, we love
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: our dating shows. But they talk about outsourcing your relationship
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: and basically letting your friends basically have way more of
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a say than they should in terms of who you
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: date and why you date them because of what they
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: think about them or how they fit into the group.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And they just given social media and the way people
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: are operating younger folks are operating these days, that's a
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: huge part of dating. The name of it again, its
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: friend sorry, friendfluence influence.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: You're in a friend fluence relationship.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Next one, zip coding zip Ooh and
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: it can have there's two different meanings of this, so
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: even if you get one of them, I'll give you kudos.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Wait a minute, they had two different means zip coding.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can mean one of two things, and it's
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: actually really they're very different.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well, it just sounds like you're dating specific to
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: geographic regions for whatever purpose suits you.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: You nailed it.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, So the first one would be to date only
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: in a small radius for the people who live nearby,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: because you want to have like just access, so you
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: you limit mostly like if you're on a dating app
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: or whatever, you really limit who you're willing to date.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Oh that makes it.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, something does to me too.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: But here's the one that I was like, whoa have
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: you ever heard of this? Zip coding can also mean
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: having a location dependent relationship.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I think we do know people like.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: This in our lives, where you're only together when you're
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: in the same zip code, and when you're not in
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: the same zip code, you're a single.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I'm always amazed how that works. We have seen it,
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: seen it work for years.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Actually, that's exactly what I was thinking of.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, it wouldn't work for me, and
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I marvel at the fact. But when I read this,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I immediately thought of some folks we know, and I
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: just thought, wow, I guess it.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Is a thing.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: And when you said I immediately thought of ludacrous. Do
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: you remember that song area codes? You said, zip codes?
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: We has a song, whole song I got holes in
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: different area codes. That's the first thing I thought about.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: How all right, so this is an age old practice apparently,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: all right, zip.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Codes though not area codes. Zip codes on this zip codes.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: All right, here's the last dating trend monkey barring. Can
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: you guess what it is?
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: It's don't please to tell me. This is not for
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: parents who hook up when they take their kids to
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: the playground, guest.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: No, So this is basically laying the groundwork for a
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: new relationship before you end your current one. So they
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: describe it as dangling between two monkey bars, gripping one
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: hand on your current partner while reaching out for someone
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: new at the same time.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, you're the only one's going to laugh at this,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: But that immediately made me think of a line for
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Mission Impossible to The bad guy said about Thandy Newton,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: who was between the two guys at the time, said,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: you know, women like monkeys. They are never let go
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: over one branch before they get a hold of the next.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Again, apparently this is true.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: This is something that has been cemented in cinematic history.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: That's okay, I have a weird brain. That line immediately
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: comes to mind.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I knew you didn't have to this. It's funny.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: We sat down full disclosure before we did this, and
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I said, Babe, we're just gonna have some fun with this.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to talk about some dating trends. You'll be fine.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Of course, your your memory is hilarious.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Your brain goes right in the exact perfect places that
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: it needs to see.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: And if people haven't figured this out yet, I had
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: no idea about any of these dating trends. See every
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: once in a while we do these issues that he
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: got some for you. You're gonna have a good time. So
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: I hadn't heard of any of these, so I'm hearing
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: them for the first time. Say the name monkey, monkey barring. Okay,
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: do you think that is a good or bad thing,
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: a bad practice, or oh not.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: I think it's terrible.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I think I think you absolutely if you have done this,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: and plenty of us can admit that we have, you
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: have to ask yourself, why why can't I be alone?
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Why can't I be in between relationships? Why can't I
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: take time to reflect about done this? I feel like
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: it's been no, not exactly but close enough.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: For people. You needed more time on your own, You
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: needed to take some time.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I do think, yeah, oh my god, to be keeping
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: one person as an option while you're looking to see
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: if there's a better one available. That's terrible and manipulative,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: not true to the spirit of what we're actually talking about,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: which is about finding love. And it's hard and it's messy,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: and it gets uncomfortable and it gets it and it
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: goes up and down. But if you're constantly looking for
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: that next thrill where you feel satiated all the.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Time, you're going to have a lifelong of problems.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: It's I think about the person who is yeah, that's
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: that's not I can't find any way to endorse, to
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: be supportive of that, because it's awful. The person that's
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: in a relationship with you and you're just waiting for
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: something better to come along, Meaning you're not trying to
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: work on this one. You're not trying to improve this one,
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: You're not trying to make this a better relationship. You're
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: just buying time. And this person just happens to be here.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Why won't you just break up with them?
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Why won't you just you need to look inward at
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: that point, if you are in the middle of this
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: or have done it before, I think there needs to
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: be some soul searching that goes on at least from
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: that point. But when we come back, we're going to
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: talk about the different types of partners. Do you want
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: a golden retriever boyfriend or girlfriend or do you want
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: on a black cat?
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: We'll explain when we come back. Welcome back everyone.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: We are talking about the top new hilariously labeled dating
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: trends of twenty twenty six.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Is that fair? That is all these are? Is this
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: not new stuff? We just got new labels? Is that fair?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Probably? Yes, it's just explained you know this.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Look, there are some clever, fun moments that I think
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: social media has given us, and this is among them
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: where we can actually have some fun talking about things
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: we've all experienced things that have been going on since
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: the beginning of time.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Every I can only.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Imagine since man and woman were on the earth trying
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: to figure out how to couple up and how to
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: basically have a happy life together.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: These problems are as old as the earth. I imagine that
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: is the unique.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's an interesting thing. We are not Are we
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: seeing anything different?
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Because we always thought people are dating differently. But what
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: people want and how they want it and who they
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: is that stuff necessarily evolving. And what people want, what
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: you truly desire from a partner, is that change.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I think it's evolved because the concept of what marriage
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: and coupling up was like.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: It used to be a business arrangement, right, It was.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: About safety, it was about survival, It was about repopulating
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: the earth or continuing to bring humans into this world
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: and finding a way to create order over rules and yes,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: but now I think we have more options. The gender
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: roles are all over the place, and who we love
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: and what's okay in terms of relationship has changed.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So maybe priorities and intentions, I don't know. I think
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: things have.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Dusted up a little bit. At the end of the day, Yeah,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: we all want to find our person. We all want
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: to find our soulmate, don't we.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: I think so For whatever reason, I feel like it's
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: the trend is that it's not okay to admit that.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: The trend is I need to be an individual. The
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: trend is I need to make sure that the appearance
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: that I am the strong one and this if I'm
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: with somebody, that means it. I chose that because that
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: enhances me in some way, not because I'm trying to
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: be a part of another thing or a partnership. I
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: think that thing that we have evolved in the way
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: we view sometimes these things. But deep down, I mean,
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know with anybody's heart, but I do. But
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: robes in day and day out. As much as we
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: cover news and relationships and almost any story you see,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: no matter what it's about, boils down to human relationship
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: a lot of times, doesn't it? Though? And Rose I do.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: I think our desires are the same. We just don't
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: know how to go about it in a scary ass world.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: That's so true. And I think with.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: I do think that the empower of women is amazing.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I am I've raised to women, You've raised your daughters.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: You about to make a great point. Go ahead, I
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: know what you're businessing, but I think it's your point.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: We've lost our way because we need to win and
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: we can't ever be like to submit is to be weak,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: and that is a problem because we get that in
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: our heads.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I certainly had it in mind. I have to win.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: I have to be in charge. I have to rule
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: the nest. I have to be the one. And that
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: flies in the face of a lot of tradition and
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: a lot of things that have been set up.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: And so now you've got this big powder keg of
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: competing interest. Who's in charge, who's the house head of
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: the household, who gets to make the decisions?
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Who has to say? Who has to go along with it?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's a big old mess right now,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: and we haven't figured it out. And so yes, we've
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: got these labels and we're trying to figure out who
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: we mesh best with.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's so individual.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's so individual based on the partnership, and so, yes,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: who we choose, man, does that have an impact on
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: our happiness?
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: We laugh because we know, yes we do.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: And it took us a long time in life to
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: figure that out. And we didn't realize it at the time,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: or I didn't speak for myself decisions that we are
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: making early on how there might be bad decisions because
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: we get in our head what's supposed to be important,
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: what's supposed to be right, how you're supposed to love,
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: when you're supposed to get married, when you're supposed to
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: have kids, and then after that, whoops, nope, you're not
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: supposed to make a mistake, you're not supposed to get divorced,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: and all these things get there, and it gets in
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: the way of what we all really want is just
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: to be happy with somebody else. I want a partner,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I do. I don't want to go through life alone.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Obviously not, but but ros I've been told, we are
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: all being told, if this isn't working out, it's okay.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: And find someone else who you can potentially work with,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: and it is.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Okay to do that. I agree with that one hundred percent.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: That I do find that in the partnerships and the
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: conversations we have with younger folks, including kids, our kids,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: what how they go about finding partners there, how they
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: talk about marriage, how they talk about submitting to a
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: certain degree, I say, submitting but robes. I find so
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: many folks I have conversation stations with under the age
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: of twenty five find it offensive that the suggestion they
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: would change or compromise any bit of who they are
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: for the sake of a relationship.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And yet that is absolutely what is required for a
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: relationship to be successful. And I think that is something
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: that you said it required. That is not necessarily okay
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: to say out loud, but it is the key. Both
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: people have to sacrifice, both people have to compromise, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: if you aren't willing.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: To do that, yeah, you probably should not be in
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: a long term relationship.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And that's okay if you don't want to, but you
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: need to understand what that may lead to. So they
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: have these labels put on the type of partner people
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: are looking for, right, and one of them is the
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Golden Retriever. Boyfriend, I think it's pretty self evident what
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: that is, what.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: You said me, Golden Retrieve, the other those black cat Yes, okay,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: so Golden Retriever, I don't know, you know, I don't
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: know dogs, well, you know, I don't know dog breeds,
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: so I don't know what the Golden Retriever is known for.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, they are loving, yes, positive, energetic, loyal. And here's
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: the big one, uncomplicated, which I think translates to goes
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: with the flow. Whatever you want, dear, Yes, dear, the
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Golden Retriever boyfriend is a yes, dear boyfriend.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: That's what it's saying. Yes, that's not a positive, then
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: is it?
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Well? It does workforce.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Look, if you have somebody who wants to just please,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: and you have somebody who just wants to be pleased,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: maybe that works out really.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Well and it works and that's okay. That's the thing.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: We're so quick to judge somebody else's relationship that we
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: don't understand if it works for them.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Like you said, you might actually get I had a
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: lot of joy in pleasing someone else. That brings you happiness,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And someone else may say having someone who.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Pleases me brings me joy. And if those two people
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: come together and work out well, Mazeltov.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: I always learned something when we do these episodes. I
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: had no idea how was your Golden Retriever? I learned
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: something every time we do the see.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: The funny thing is I would describe you as the
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: next as a black the black cat, the black Cattcist No,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't know where we were going here. You know,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I've told you you have cat and I think we
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: all but you do have cat like tendencies.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Cat like tendency. That's what I want to be left alone.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: And you have to kind of earn your trust.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: No, that's not okay, go ahead, tell me what black
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: cat thing first?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: All right, here's the black cat boyfriend. Yes, in fact,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: they actually distinguished this one.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: For whatever reason into boyfriend and girlfriend.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: Wait, can't ask a question. The golden retriever thing could
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: apply to men and women.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I guess it could, but mostly it's maybe Cosmo who
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: put this list together with.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Thinking more of the women.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: But they did say a black cat boyfriend, and then
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: they did describe a black cat girlfriend.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: You're not a black hat girlfriend, though, but you think
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: I'm a black hat boyfriend.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I might be a black cat girlfriend. I want to
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: hear what you think I am.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Right, All right, here's how they describe a black cat boyfriend, mysterious,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: slightly moody counterpart to the golden retriever boyfriend. They are independent, intellectual,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: could seem cold and stand offish, but actually affectionate on
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: his own terms and selective with his romantic attention.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Very very true.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: That is you two eighteen?
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's true. I think about your uh aunt Ann right,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: didn't wasn't she the one that saw me? We're at
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: a funeral and she saw this first time I was
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: meeting a lot of your family. And wasn't she the
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: one that said, I didn't know he seems so stand
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: off as or cold or whatever else. Wasn't she the one?
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: She my aunt Leslie, and she's sorry because you were
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: look a no one had met you yet. But yes,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: you're very put together. You're you're a gorgeous man. Let's
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: just be honest. And so there might be an intimidation
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: factor just by how put together you are and how
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: and just they're like, oh, look there's TJ and then
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: you have Yeah, that might be intimidating to a lot
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: of folks.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: And so but when she came up to you, you
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: know what you said.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: To her, I'm a hugger, yeah, and you hugger And
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: she was surprised.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: And everything broke down after that to where what you're
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: describing here is they may seem a certain way, but
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I'm actually as warm as if anytime somebody says, oh,
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: you're from Arkansas. I thought you were from Manhattan. You like,
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: what do you know something you don't know about me?
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: But yes, you've said this and explain this to me
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: plenty of times that from a distance or across the room. DJ. Yeah,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: you're you're intimidating, and I think I'm just the warmest arcans.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: I'm from Arkansas. It's like this.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Beautiful black cats, stylish and sleek, and yet I don't
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: know is he gonna bite me?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Is he gonna purr? I'm not sure?
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: But see that's to me, that's very attractive, that's very inviting.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: I want to find out more. I want to learn.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: I learned things about you every day.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Wow, what'd you learn today? Sorry? Just push it on
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: the spot and know how that was gonna work.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, the black Cat woman is the same as above,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: but they added this that the women who are black
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Cat girlfriends value their alone time, tend to be introverted
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: and have a slightly aloof yet intimidating quality about them
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: that does draw people in.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's draw people in.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: It does draw people in because you're like a black
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: a woman, you know, just they said, slightly aloof, slightly
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: intimidating and that draws people in and they do value
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: their alone time and they are slightly introverted.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I don't think that describes me at all.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: Introverted No, a loof, No, the.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Other introverted aloof and value alone time.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: No, you can't stand being alone.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I'm working on it.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: You're right, I don't, and I know that that is
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: an issue and it is something that I have been
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: working on.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: It scares me. Scared me like, oh my god, I
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: better not have a business trip.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: No, I would never not want you to. And that's me.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: That's on me. Okay, I was, But yeah, you do
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: struggle with that anytime. If I might have like forty
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: five minutes I need to go do something, you'll go
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: book a SPA treatment, just so you can make sure
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: you are not sitting in a place by yourself in
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: home for whatever reason. That feels yeah, crazy to you.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You know what, I think.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I spend a lot of time alone in my room
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: growing up, and I just felt like, man, when I
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: get older, I am never going to do this. And
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: so for me, it's interesting. Everyone's got their different reasons why.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: But I yes, I like to be out. I like
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to be about I like to be around people, and
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I do try to do that. But I don't know
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: what I am.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not a golden retriever either.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know if there's how would you describe me
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: as a I'm a fiance now, but as a girlfriend?
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Is there a label?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: As far as an animal goes whatever? You're like a
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: like the zoo monkey, like the little ones that you
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: can't quite get in. You can't quite see. He's hiding
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: behind some of the trees and the branches, and you
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: keep going trying to get a look, trying to get
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: a cat, trying to look at the monkey, and the
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: mokey seems so happy, and then you make eye contact
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: with the monkey. Oh my god, the monkey loves me.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: And then there it goes off doing its own thing again.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: You're a I don't know what type of monkey that is.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: I'm a playful monkey.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: You're a playful monkey, is what I would discribe. Yeah,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: so this is a playful monkey relationship.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: A playful monkey with a black cat. Yes, do they
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: get along?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Do?
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I amuse you?
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Cats don't give a damn what the monkey's doing.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: And that's the sad state of our relationship. Now I'm kidding.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: This is fun though.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: This is fun talking about it, and really we're just
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: talking about how we all figure things out. We can
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: put whatever label we want on it, but I do
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: think that at the end of the day, we're all
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: looking to find our person, and for each person it's different.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants different things, everybody needs different things. But I
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: do think that these all teach us the most important
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: thing is to have the best relationship with ourselves.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I need to do and I'm working on it.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: To be alone, to enjoy my own company, and to
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: not need someone else, but to enjoy someone else and
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: to give to someone else. And it's not about what
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: you're getting from some of what you're giving to them.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: That's the goal. That's the goal, to be thinking of others.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: You say to your golden retriever, Okay, you.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Are so not a golden retriever.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And with that everyone, thank you for listening to us
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: on this Sunday. I may be roboch alongside my black
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: cat of a fiancee TJ.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Holmes. We will talk to you soon.