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Big Decision? Choose the Right Method for the Best Outcome · Unspoken Career Truths

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  Cara, actually have a fun fact for you.
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  Did you know that the average adult makes around 35,000
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  conscious decisions every day? Wow, Oh my goodness.
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  Welcome to Unspoken Career Truths.
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  I'm Lauren Levac Gilbert. And I'm Cara Wood.
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  And we're here to be the coworkers you can trust.
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  In just 10 minutes, we'll cover the strategies you need, the
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  mistakes to avoid, and the insider secrets no one tells you
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  so you can show up with confidence at work.
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  What's the type of decision that you stress over most?
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  I'd have to say one that seems to be permanent, like something
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  like a move or like buying a house, something that you just
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  can't like take back after you do it and kind of have to sit in
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  for a bit. Those are the ones that really
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  stress me out the most. And we're trying to buy a house,
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  so, you know, here we are. Oh, yeah.
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  And it's wise, actually. That is something that I feel
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  like we want to talk about today is like, what is the scale of
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  decision? And I'm also sort of jealous
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  because the thing that I freeze up over the most sometimes is
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  literally what to have for lunch or dinner where I'm like, oh, I
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  need to just, like, think about this.
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  And then I have to remind myself that it's not permanent.
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  There's lunch tomorrow as well. Is this one of those things
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  where I can make your lunch decisions and you can make my
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  big decisions, Carlos? There we go.
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  Yes, yes, and. We're on the solution.
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  We're going to talk about all the kinds of decisions today.
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  Decision making is one of those things that we like, do every
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  day, and we do it at large scales and the small scales.
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  So I feel like 2 questions you just need to ask yourself when
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  you're stuck on a decision is like 1.
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  How many other people do you need buy in?
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  So like you need buy in from your husband, you guys both have
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  to like the house you might want.
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  To my dog. Come on now, Cara.
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  Your dog has needs. Everyone needs to buy in, you
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  know, Or is it just your when? It's just your choice to make.
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  And then how long of an impact? So exactly what you were
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  thinking of, like, does this thing feel undoable?
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  Or is this like a permanent kind of thing?
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  And the amount of time that your decision effects you should
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  actually just correlate directly with how much time you spend on
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  it. So you're right to worry about
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  the big decisions. Best advice I ever got, and I
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  got this when I was younger, Don't make big decisions at
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  highs or lows. So like if you're like super
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  happy and you're having like the best time and the best day, not
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  a day to make a decision. If you're like super low and
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  super sad and just not in a good place, also not a great day to
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  make a decision, right? Because your emotions can kind
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  of like swing you in either way. So it's great to kind of give
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  yourself space around those emotions.
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  So you're making a decision that truly is for you and not
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  reflective of that kind of higher low moment.
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  Yeah. And what's your advice for
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  someone that, like is going through that?
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  Is it that depending on the decision, just either let it
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  hold if it's like a big decision or outsource it and have Lauren
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  tell you what to eat for lunch, I mean.
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  Totally an option, but I would say just like recognize, like
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  and know, hey, I'm making this big decision, but I don't think
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  I'm in the right mindset and try to identify like what can get
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  you in the right mindset. So like for me, if I'm trying to
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  make a decision, but I'm like just really stuck in either like
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  the excitement of it and I can't get to the actual like area.
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  I do something that gets me out of my head.
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  So like I'll go take a dance class or I'll go take a walk and
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  I'll do something like physical that's getting me out of my
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  head. That's what I do.
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  That is really helpful, but you just have to find your thing.
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  Well, and This is why we're having this conversation is
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  because there's so many different kinds of frameworks
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  or, like, tools you can use. And you taught me one that was
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  never on my radar. And I'd love for you to, like,
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  share it on this podcast. Yeah.
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  So I'm a big gut instinct person.
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  So I'm someone who like, if it feels right, like that's more
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  important to me than maybe a logical decision.
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  So I always trust my gut. And I think it takes time to
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  really kind of hone in on your gut and like get in tune with
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  it. But but there's also this like
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  really cool thing that your body knows before your mind does.
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  I actually learned this from Gabrielle Bernstein.
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  She has written a bunch of books.
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  One of my favorites is The Universe Has Your Back.
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  And there's this trick. We actually take your, I think.
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  Is it your pinky on your thumb or your?
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  It's your index. Finger your index finger on your
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  thumb and you like basically interlock them like a chain and
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  you ask yourself a question. You try to pull them apart and
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  your muscles will actually know the true answer to the question
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  versus like what you think in your head.
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  I know it sounds really crazy but try it like.
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  I thought it was crazy until I tried it.
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  So now we're telling everyone to try it.
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  My kind of go to framework, especially when it is something
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  that, yeah, I'm stressed out about it, but it might not be
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  like the decision that really deserves a ton of my time or I'm
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  like, I have to cap kind of how long I think about this.
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  The best way, the quickest way that I can get to a decision I'm
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  comfortable with is to just forecast and think about both
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  outcomes or all the outcomes. So like, if I buy this house, do
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  I not buy this house if I take this job?
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  If I not take this job and I all I do is just imagine the future
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  in both cases. And I can feel similar to you,
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  like, OK, let my body like tell me which one I regret.
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  Because you can kind of play it out in your mind.
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  And I think that's sometimes why decisions are so tough is
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  because you can sort of play it out in your mind and then you're
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  like, well, which thing? And you think about the worst
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  outcome of I was. Just going to say.
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  Yeah. So think of the worst outcome of
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  both paths that you take, and then which one fills you with
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  the deepest regret. I'm also a really big fan of the
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  pro con list, but you know, I'm like, I'm a huge list gal.
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  So just like really trying to list out the pros and cons.
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  And for me, I like to talk to a lot of people.
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  But what's really important about that, especially when
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  making a pro con list is you need to understand where people
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  are coming from. So you got to just take it with
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  a grain of salt, right? Like their opinions are coming
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  from a place of their understanding and their needs
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  and their wants. So just take them as inputs, not
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  necessarily as gospel. That's where it's so important
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  to know who else you're the making the decision with because
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  when you're at work and you're making a decision like it's
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  going to have impact for your whole team.
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  But there are times when, for example, if you're picking
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  seating, you might not ask your whole team where they want to
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  sit, but you might factor in like people's opinions or you
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  might, you know, for projects, same thing.
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  It's like, I want to get the opinion of the other people in
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  the room that have the expertise and it's affecting everyone.
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  And then there are times when you can't avoid like we all
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  know, we actually have to come to an agreement together.
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  And so we have to gather everybody's data.
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  And then to your point, like people are going to be coming
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  from a different place. I actually, I take a different,
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  I take a similar approach, pro and calmness, but I love math.
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  So I write out like almost an algorithm of like weighted
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  issues. So I'll say like I'll either
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  weight them on a scale of 1 to 10 or I'll just say like what
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  things in this decision matter most?
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  So it might be I'm trying to again, I'll take we keep talking
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  about the house. So like when I it's a good one
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  goes where my house was like what mattered to me was like
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  climate, the kitchen space commute.
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  And when I say climate, I mean like I wanted it to be safe for
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  climate change and like anticipate ahead of that.
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  And I also wanted to be in a neighborhood that was growing in
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  value. And so I had I when I first went
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  to the land, my realtor, she was like, I listed so many different
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  neighborhoods, but then there were places I would refuse to
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  see in those neighborhoods because they didn't still fit my
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  criteria of nice kitchen or, you know, high enough above ground
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  or like a good, good land. So anyway, but those things,
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  those factors mattered more than square footage, for example,
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  which for someone else would be like huge important thing.
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  I, you know, it's funny, I got married a couple years ago and I
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  think that was another big thing.
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  Like when we were making decisions, it was like, well,
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  what are the things that are like non negotiables and
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  everything else really doesn't matter because decision fatigue
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  is real, right? And so you need to be very
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  conscious about like, what's really important and what really
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  doesn't matter. Totally, totally.
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  And I'll just say one more, another decision making
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  framework that I really love is one that I think comes from
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  Pixar, where essentially you take an idea and then you look
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  at it from a few different lenses.
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  So again, it's like attach the pessimist view, attach the
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  optimist view. What if everything was possible?
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  What if nothing was possible? And it works really well in a
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  group setting because you can, you can state those rules and
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  lenses that you're going to look at a problem through and then
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  take the group through them one at a time so that you're like,
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  all right, for now, we're only going to talk about if
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  everything worked out perfectly, why would this be a good or bad
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  decision? And walk everyone through that.
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  Everyone's optimistic in the room, it's supportive.
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  And then it's like, OK, we've done that exercise now let's
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  pick it apart, you know? And so like, it's a really great
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  way, especially if you need to like work a group through a lot
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  of decisions and you hear the issues that are coming up and
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  being repeated. And it gives people like the
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  freedom to kind of bring it up because sometimes in a group
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  setting, the power dynamic is also going to impact who's going
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  to say what and be comfortable with saying, wait, this is non
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  negotiable for me, even if no one else agrees that it is.
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  Like gives me some inside out vibes of that movie where you're
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  like putting your different hats on for different emotions and
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  stuff. I really like that.
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  I haven't heard of that one. Yeah, it's really, I, I heard
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  about it and it's, it's used a lot in like creative spaces
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  where you just want to like, again, every creative idea
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  sometimes just needs time and like support.
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  And then also, but you can't make every movie.
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  And so I think that's another way reason that it's used often.
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  Yeah. So just to kind of recap, I
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  mean, when you're making big decisions or any decision, use
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  your time wisely and in proportion with actually how
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  long the decision's gonna impact your life and recognize whether
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  or not you're taking others along in the journey.
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  Or if you, you know, need to scope this problem and really
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  look at the options and bring everyone on board.
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  And then, you know, pick the pick the method A that works and
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  resonates with what you value, but also that matches that
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  moment. And sometimes it's also kind of
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  fun to like, especially when you kind of think, I think I know
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  this answer, but I'm still a little nervous.
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  Like try a few frameworks and if you keep getting the same
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  result, I think that's telling you something as well.
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  And that's a wrap. Thanks for joining us on
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  Unspoken Career Truths. Don't forget to follow us on
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  share it with a friend.