Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 60 - From Shame to Healing | Aggie Park’s Story

Transcript

EP 60 - From Shame to Healing | Aggie Park’s Story · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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What happens when Shane tries to silence you, but God turns your
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scars into a voice for healing? Today on Unmasked, we sit down
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with Aggie Park to talk about trauma, survival, and the slow
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holy work of redemption, and how God meets us in the darkest
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chapters and refuses to waste one single thing.
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Welcome to Unmasked, where we take off the filters and get
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real about faith, failure, and finding freedom.
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I'm your host, Wesley Fernsworth, a dad, veteran,
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author, and a man who's learned that God does his best work in
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the middle of our mess. Each episode we have honest
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conversations with people who have walked through addiction,
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pain, or doubt, and with pastors, leaders, and everyday
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believers who are learning to live and lead authentically.
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So take a breath, pull up a chair, and let's get real.
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This is Unmasked. Today on Unmasked, Aggie Park
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joins us and she is a trilingual marathon runner, content creator
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and Co host of Erasing Shame, where she helps bring hidden
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stories into the light and create spaces for honest spirit
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LED healing. Born in Indonesia, raised in
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Germany, and now living in the United States, Aggie carries a
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global perspective of shaped by faith, resilience and lived
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experience. Her story spans cultures,
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continents, and deep personal values.
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Yet through it all, God's fingerprints are unmistakable.
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Aggie has walked through childhood trauma, emotional and
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physical abuse, and depression, as well as suicidal thoughts,
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and lived to tell the story not of self-made strength, but of
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God's redemptive grace today. Today, she uses her voice to
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confront shame, challenge silence in Christian spaces, and
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remind others that healing is possible when you bring what's
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hidden into the light. Her life is a testimony to the
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truth that nothing is wasted in God's hands, not even the
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chapters that we wish we could erase.
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Aggie, welcome to Unmasked and thank you so much for being here
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and being willing to Share your story with the Unmasked
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community. Thank you, Wesley, for having
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me. I'm excited to, yeah, share
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God's goodness over my life like you.
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Mentioned absolutely, I was, I had the privilege of being on
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Aggie's podcast and sharing my story on hers.
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And so it's really cool that we're able to flip roles, if you
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will, and share, Share your story on my podcast here.
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It's just I love the way the technology allows us to be able
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to do this type of thing. Yes, yes.
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I don't sit on the other end as much.
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So I really appreciate you inviting me.
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It's absolutely, absolutely my pleasure.
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Well, without further ado, Aggie, I'm going to turn the
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floor over to you and I can't wait to hear your hear your
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testimony. Yeah, thank you, Wesley.
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My testimony is all over the place, so I will try my best to
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make it as clear and as concise as possible.
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So as you mentioned, God's faithfulness just never left me.
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Even though I didn't know God back then.
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It started with my grandparents. So I lived with my grandparents
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and my aunts, and my grandparents were actually
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Buddhists at that time. But it's just so happens that
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the Lord placed a Christian School across from where they
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lived. So they sent all their kids to
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that Christian School. And so all my aunts and uncles
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became Christians and they brought me to church and just
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raised me up in the faith. But I didn't know Jesus
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personally then. I just went to church just
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because of religion. And Fast forward, my mom eloped
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to Germany to marry my dad. And while she was pregnant with
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me, she went back from Germany to Indonesia.
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And I didn't get to see my dad for the first time in person
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until I was six or seven years old.
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And during the first seven years, I endured a lot of
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physical and emotional abuse from my mom.
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I never believed that she wanted me or loved me.
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And she made that very clear. So as a kid, I never felt enough
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or seen or heard. And I think that carried
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throughout my entire adulthood, which I'm still healing from.
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But God just had so much mercy on me that my dad came from
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Germany to Indonesia and they remarried again and we moved
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from Indonesia to Germany. And my dad showed me kind of
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love and treated me with honor and respect that I never knew
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that I was worthy of. But even in Germany, there were
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still challenges ahead because back then, I was the only Asian
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person in my whole entire school.
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So they made fun of how I looked, how I spoke.
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So combining that with my mom's just abuse and people just
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making fun of me, that just that lie of not being worthy just
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deepened further and further into my heart.
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Fast forward to college and high school.
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High school and college because of my low self worth I dated
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guys that were just not good for me.
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They just took advantage of me. They treated me however I
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wanted. But because I believed that I
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wasn't worth fighting for, I just let them be and still
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attach myself to them, even though they hurt me over and
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over and over again. But then there was this one guy
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who really changed the course of my life.
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So my dad is a very conservative dad.
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He said no dating until you graduate college with an A+.
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But you know, me as a teenager, you know, I retaliated and I
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dated this guy who had a gambling addiction and I gave
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him away my tuition money. And my dad found out not only
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did I date, but I give him his hard earned money away.
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So he was super, super mad. And basically he took my
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passport away so I couldn't return to the states to go back
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to college. And he basically locked,
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literally like locked me up in the house.
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I couldn't go out whenever he saw me he was just like shame me
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and scream at me. Oh and also at that moment our
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mom left us to do her own thing so I was just by myself with my
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younger sister who is 10 years younger.
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So I took care of my sister while dealing with that, while
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dealing also our mom just recently left us.
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So that went on for a year. And I was also being shamed in
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public as well. He told, you know, his brothers
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and his friends what happened. Like how stupid I was to be, you
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know, giving that money away to somebody like that.
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So for me, it was just very hurtful because that
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ex-boyfriend not only hurt me and took advantage of me.
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So I felt hurt, but instead of, you know, my dad comforting me,
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he shaped me even more. So it's just like shame upon
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shame upon shame. And I remember one day sitting
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in front of no sitting in the back seat with my MP3 player.
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Yes, I'm that old. OK, I listen to MP3 players and
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I didn't know God personally back then, but somehow Jeremy
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Camp song was playing on my MP3 because we were on the road to a
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family dinner where I knew I was going to be publicly humiliated
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and screamed at again. So I had a lot of I was so
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afraid. But that song said let it fade.
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One day you will find a place where you belong and you will
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find rest. Let this old life crumble.
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Let it fade and you let the saving grace be your new life.
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And I didn't know what that meant at that time, but when God
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speaks to you, it gives you so much peace.
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And now looking back 10-15 years later after that moment, I see
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now, wow, God, like, yes, now I have so much peace with you
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because with God we can be completely ourselves.
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All the beauty and the ugliness, all the strength and the
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weakness. Like everything.
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I can just be totally honest with God.
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But anyways, I couldn't stand that treatment anymore.
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So I fled my dad's house and moved around house to house,
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which is crazy now to think about it because I'm not that
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kind of a person. But if you're in so much pain,
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you do the things that you would normally not do.
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And then out of nowhere, my aunt called me and she said, do you
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still want to go back to the States to finish college?
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And I said, absolutely. But how?
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I don't have a passport. I don't have funds.
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How am I going to, you know? And she said, just go back to
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your dad's house. And I was like, excuse me?
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What? Go back to my dad's house?
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He's gonna kill me. But God knew, like always, what
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he was doing. So I went back to my dad's house
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and miraculously my dad gave me my passport back.
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So the next scene just felt like a movie.
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I caught my aunt, I got my passport back and she said, OK,
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I'm going to pick you up, pack your stuff.
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So I grabbed whatever I saw in front of my eyes and she picked
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me up. And I just remember my sister,
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she was only 5 or 6 years old. She was so confused because as I
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said, our mom just left and now her sister is leaving her.
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Like what's going on, right? And she's still dealing with
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that, unfortunately, right now. But I just remember sitting in
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the back of a plane, my aunt giving me $2000, and she said,
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don't worry, we're going to provide for you.
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And landing in the United States, I didn't have a place to
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live. I don't know how everything's
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going to work out. Like what?
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How is that going to, you know, like, no clue.
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But God is always faithful. So three days before school
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started, he provided me with a place where the landlord was
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either a pastor or an elder. And I know that his prayers
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carried me through where I am today.
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And he brought me to church and introduced me to a new kind of
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love of a family that I never had.
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And now looking back, like Wow, God used every part of my story
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for a purpose, not just to heal me, but also to heal others.
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Because now, as you mentioned, I actually host my own podcast and
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spoken with Eggy Park. So looking back, I never had a
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voice. But now not only can I share my
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voice, but allow others to share their voice too.
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And being bullied as a kid, not feeling beautiful enough or
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smart enough or worthy enough. He actually allowed me to be in
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pageants and modeling industry and something that I never
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thought that I could ever be worthy of.
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And my life in Germany and Indonesia too carried a lot of,
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I guess, character development because in Germany I learn how
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to be disciplined, I learn how to push through things, which
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helps me a lot in faith when things are live are not easy.
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So I just see every part, even the things that we don't think
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are useful. He uses it for your good, but
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also to pour out in the lives of others.
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So that's my story in a nutshell.
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What a story it is to me. I, you know, I love that you,
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you, you dated yourself with the MP3 player and yes, I, I, I had
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to laugh a little bit at that because you, you probably don't
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even know what a Walkman is like.
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No, I've. Seen it in movies.
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That's what we had when I was growing up, Walkman and CD
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player, what little portable CD players.
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Yes, so, so the MP3 players were a novelty when I was well, I'm
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not even get there. So but that's I love it.
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I love it. You know, your your story is, is
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filled with so many nuances and just things that you could sit
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here probably for the next 30 minutes and just do nothing else
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but just think about what you shared and digest and and kind
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of pick apart and pull so much from it.
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But we're not going to do that. We're going to get into some
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questions and and give give the listeners even more information
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to chew on. So, Aggie, as you look back now,
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after everything that you've been through, what part of your
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story do you see God? Do you see God's hand on the
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most clearly, even if you couldn't see it at the time?
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That's a good question. There's so many parts, only one.
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OK, let me think. If you have to go to two, that's
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OK. OK, OK.
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OK. So the first one where I
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mentioned we moved from Indonesia to Germany, it's God's
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perfect timing because one year after we moved was the year
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where in Indonesia there was a culture war where the
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Indonesians actually killed and raped Chinese people in front of
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their families. And I'm ethnically Chinese, so
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my dad could have, you know, picked me up or brought us to
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Germany any other year. But it was that year that he
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protected me from going through that trauma.
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So that was God's hand for sure. And then another time was, yeah,
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when I moved from Indonesia to Germany, because as I mentioned,
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I didn't know anything. I didn't know anybody, but God
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just provided me with people that supported me all along the
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way, financially, relationally, physically, spiritually.
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And had I not come from a broken family, I would not have lived
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with my aunts who helps me to move from Indonesia to United
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States to finish college and who helped me financially to to
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finish college. So even though the broken parts
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are broken, but God somehow managed to use that brokenness
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and create beauty out of ashes. Love that when, when you think
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about, you know, you, you mentioned you're, you're moving
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from Indonesia to Germany and then your transition from
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Germany to the United States to finish school.
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You boarded the plane to come to the United States, had no idea
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where you were going to live. I didn't know anybody.
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So you're, you're basically flying in and saying, OK, I'll
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figure it out when I get there. Talk us through that.
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Talk us through that mindset. You know, when you when you got
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to the United States, what was the first thing that you
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remember happening and how did you end up coming to find this
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place to live with this pastor or elder or whoever it was?
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And just kind of how did God put all that together for you?
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OK, so as I mentioned, that one year delay where my dad locks
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locked me up in the house, if that one year delay did not
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happen, which stems from, you know, like trauma and abusive
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relationships did not happen, I would not have been housed in
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that pastor's house. So even that one year of pain
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served for a purpose, right? Because we don't like usually we
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don't like to wait on God, but he's just like reminding me,
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trust me, because my timing is perfect.
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And to answer your question, what went through my mind, I
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don't even know. It was really God's strength
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that I didn't know that he was pouring onto me, that I think
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the pain was just so unbearable in Indonesia that anything else
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would have been better than just to stay there and being
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humiliated and screamed every single moment of the day.
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So yeah. And it's just so funny now
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thinking about it, I don't know if there's any significance but
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like 3 days before school started.
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I don't know if the number 3 means anything but like God is
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showing me that my I mean not my his timing is perfect.
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And the way it came about was actually my aunt from so I have
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an aunt in Texas. She kind of heard that I was, I
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don't know how she heard, but she heard that I moved to the
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United States. And then she knew a friend of a
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friend that is actually renting a room where I was going to
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college to, which is crazy because it could have been
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anywhere like it can. It could have been in Texas, but
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it's actually in California where I actually go to school.
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So God is just like God's hand is just all over my story.
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I love that. Yeah.
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It it was not by accident. You were exactly where you were
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supposed to be. Well, you have shared about how
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silence became a survival tool for you early on.
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What was the moment or season when silence stopped protecting
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you and really started costing you?
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Oh, that's. A good one.
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I don't think we were creative for silence.
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I think we are created to share our voices and to share our
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stories because it's God's story anyway, right?
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And he wants us to share with the world.
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And honestly, public speaking or speaking is it terrifies the
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heck out of me even like sharing my story, like I don't, I don't
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like it, but God is pushing me out of the comfort zone because
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he wants me to know that, you know, no matter how broken our
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stories are, that there's always beauty and purpose in every
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single story of ours. And it if it helps just that one
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person to have hope in their own story, then.
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Whatever people think of us or judge us is absolutely worth it.
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So it's not my own strength because I don't like speaking,
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but the Lord is just so funny. Like, he just uses your weakness
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and your fears to find out how strong and big our God is.
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And I would have never in a gazillion years imagined that I
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would host a podcast show. Like, I hate speaking, but the
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Lord's like, Nope, you're going to use that and show my power.
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So yeah. You know, it's funny, I've I
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have said almost the exact same thing.
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You know, my, my background prior to this last year had been
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working in public relations. And I am not a public speaker.
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I don't like public speaking. That terrifies me.
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And it used to terrify me. I didn't have any problems being
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behind the scenes and kind of coaching people on what to do.
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And then over this last year, you know, he's, he's done the
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same thing that he's doing to you.
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And he's like, hey, you know, it's, it's time to, to step into
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that uncomfortableness and, and, and live unmasked, right?
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To, to take off the mask that you're fine, that we all tell
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each other every day, you know, somebody, Hey, how's it going?
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I'm fine, I'm, I'm doing great. How are you?
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You know, that's our, that's our canned response.
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Everybody says it, but it's, you know, you have to live unmasked
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and be willing to Share your story.
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And, you know, that's with my book and my podcast and, and
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everything else that I'm doing now that I talked about, you
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know, it's, it's not an easy thing to do.
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And so I applaud you for for being willing to step into the
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uncomfortableness and living unmasked and being willing to go
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out and Share your story with the hopes that it helps just
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that one person. Because that's exactly the right
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reason to be doing it. Yes, Amen.
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Yeah, it's so true though, like what you said, like most people
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say, yeah, I'm fine. And I think a lot of even
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Christians think like, oh, I have Jesus, I'm fine.
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But underneath it, we cope it even with ministry or with
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serving or with whatever, whatever, whatever.
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We don't even know, like the deep roots of the pain that we
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carry. And I believe Jesus cares for
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our well-being too, for our souls too, not just what we do
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for the Lord, but also who we are in the Lord.
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And so there was a season in my life where I thought, you know,
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a good Christian should do this, should do that.
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And I was just burned out and exhausted.
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And I was just being honest to the Lord.
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And I was like, you know what, Lord, I can't, I can't do this
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anymore. I can't live mast, you know, I
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just want to be the version that you created for me to be.
23:06
And so taking a break from this ministry felt wrong in my heart.
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And I felt so guilty like, oh, but you know, Lord, aren't we
23:13
supposed to serve you? But then the Lord revealed to
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me, you know what? No, I want you to also just be
23:23
abiding in me and to know that I love you and you're worthy not
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because of what you've done, but because I have created you.
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Just remain in my love 1st. And so that season of resting
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was actually such a good season. I have never felt so close to
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the Lord before. And the Lord just knows because
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now I'm so busy with just podcasting and you know, you
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know, you know, the, the days where you have record and edit
23:54
and create shorts and interview guests and blah, blah, blah.
23:57
So yeah, there's the season for everything.
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But I just want the listeners to know that your worst does not
24:06
depend on what to do, but who and who's you are I?
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Love it. I love it.
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Well, you know what? I'm going to take a quick second
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here and talk to listeners. You know, I say this time and
24:21
time again, and I'm just going to essentially echo what Aggie
24:24
said. You are not defined by who you
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by what you've done. You're not defined by what's
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happened to you, just as Aggie isn't.
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You are defined only by who you say you are and more
24:35
importantly, who God says you are.
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And so I want you to really meditate that on for a moment.
24:41
And before we get going with even more questions, I want you
24:44
just to think about this episode that you've listened to so far
24:48
because there's been a lot to unpack.
24:51
And if, if as you were listening, this one person came
24:55
to mind and you're like, man, this person needs to hear the
24:58
episode, Would you take a moment and just share it with them?
25:02
There's a reason that they came to mind.
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Share the episode with them and then come back and continue on
25:08
because you'll, you'll want to hear the rest of this, this
25:11
episode. Trust me.
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But I, I truly believe that God brings people to a mind to mind
25:19
for a reason. So honor that and, and just take
25:24
a moment to share it. You know, Aggie, so much of your
25:31
journey involves misplaced worth and, and believing lies about
25:35
who you were. And I think that's something a
25:39
lot of us will believe in where it's we're quick to believe the
25:42
lies about us and even justify them in some cases ourselves.
25:47
But what did God have to unteach you before you?
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He could begin restoring your identity.
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So I just deal. I've started to deal with all my
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pain and trauma not too long ago.
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And so actually it's gotten worse and I'm just confused.
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And I asked the Lord like, OK Lord, am I not supposed to get
26:20
better? Why am I getting worse?
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Like why do I actually believe the lies the enemy is telling
26:26
me? And I think what the Lord is
26:29
telling me, it's well, I'm uncovering the lie 1 by 1
26:34
because I want to restore you and heal you from every single
26:39
lie. And when you see the diagnosis,
26:43
when you uncover the light, it's not pleasant, it's not pretty.
26:46
It's going to be messy. So that initial stage is going
26:50
to be worse. But when his truth and his
26:53
healing comes, that's when it gets better.
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So I just want the listeners to know, like, when you actually do
26:59
the work of identity restoration, it's actually going
27:02
to get worse a little bit before it gets better.
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But I just don't want you to lose hope or courage or just
27:09
wonder what's wrong with me. Because, yeah, it's just like
27:13
opening up a wound, right? It hurts in the beginning, but
27:16
the wound will get better. Yeah, you, you can.
27:22
The best way to eat an apple is 1 bite at a time.
27:25
And it's the same thing with healing.
27:26
Sometimes you have to, you have to deal with one thing before
27:30
you're mentally ready and able to deal with the next thing.
27:34
Yes, as you think about all of the, all the things that you've
27:39
uncovered and you're still uncovering what is one thing
27:42
that you're having to kind of deal with?
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Maybe it was, maybe it was a belief that you believed for so
27:50
long about yourself that you're now having to unlearn and kind
27:57
of be able to say, no, that's not who I am.
28:01
And how do you, how are you going about doing that and now
28:06
believing the truth? Think growing up up to my
28:19
adulthood I felt like I always needed to be a different version
28:23
of myself. That the version that God made
28:26
me is not enough because of my trauma and low self worth.
28:31
I people pleased and till this day too it has gotten better but
28:36
I people pleased a lot. Like, OK, this person wants me
28:39
to be this version of myself. Let me just conform to that so I
28:42
can please them, so I actually can receive some kind of love.
28:47
But God is teaching me now be your authentic self, the version
28:52
that I created for you to be regardless of people liking you
28:55
or not liking you, that's none of your business.
28:58
That's their business. I want you to live in the
29:01
freedom that I have created for you to be because what makes you
29:07
unique? What makes you unique, Wesley,
29:09
is how God created for us to be because there's no person in
29:13
history ever, nor will it there ever be, that is going to be
29:18
exactly like you, and that is what makes you unique and that
29:21
is what makes you powerful to the Kingdom.
29:24
Amen, Amen. There is something so powerful
29:30
when you think about that, you know, the the fact that you are
29:34
unique in in almost every single way because you know, we all may
29:39
speak the same language or we may all have similar interests
29:42
or we all may you know or work the same type of job right.
29:48
But even though we do the same thing, we still approach it
29:51
slightly different in our own unique way.
29:55
We bring our own flavor to it, yes.
29:57
And that's what I love about it. And I love that you brought that
30:01
up because I think it's very easy for us as, as individuals
30:06
to be like, well, I don't bring anything to the table, right?
30:09
I'm only, I'm only one in 100 people that can speak Spanish
30:13
in, in the room, you know, So what, what, what can I bring to
30:16
the table, you know, or, or, or whatever it might be.
30:20
And so we're quick to discount ourselves and, and, and speak
30:26
negatively instead of saying, hey, yeah, you know what?
30:30
I might be 1 of 100 people, but hey, this is my background.
30:35
Nobody else in the room has been through what I've been through.
30:39
And so, you know, you, you, instead of discounting yourself,
30:43
you need to speak the truth and believe the truth about
30:46
yourself. Yes, and the fact that you were
30:49
there for a reason and step into that.
30:54
Yeah, yeah, that's so good. I have to remind myself that
30:58
daily because I forget so quickly.
31:03
It's so hard because when you see other people more talented
31:07
or more accomplished or whatever more XYZ than you, that you
31:11
automatically feel small. But like you said, when we
31:14
continuously meditate on the truth, the truth will set us
31:18
free. Yeah, we and I think the the
31:24
term that most people will use is imposter syndrome.
31:27
Yes. You know, I'm not, I don't have
31:30
this background or that background, so I'm not qualified
31:33
to do XY or Z. Right.
31:37
And that's the furthest thing from the truth.
31:40
Right. And I love how the Bible just
31:43
combats that because when we look at Moses, Joseph, David and
31:49
just every hero of the Bible, they were actually not big in
31:55
people's eyes. They were kind of like made fun
31:57
of or like the least chosen 1, you know?
32:00
But God chooses the least qualified because he wants to
32:04
show his power through them, to show that it's not them, it's
32:08
actually God. It's all God.
32:11
So yeah, I just want to encourage your listeners to know
32:18
that fear and shame will keep you imprison to what God has
32:23
called for you to do and to be and what God has in store for
32:27
you. It's not sometimes it's not
32:30
oftentimes it's not easy, but it's like the greatest adventure
32:34
of just, I don't know, just excitement and joy and thrill
32:39
that you will ever, ever like experience in this lifetime.
32:44
So don't let fear, comparison or shame hold you back because I've
32:51
experienced this in my life so many times.
32:54
And the most recent testimony I can share is with the podcast.
33:01
So the Lord has put in my heart to launch my own podcast.
33:05
But I was like, OK, Lord, I don't have any podcasting
33:08
experience. I can't really speak well like
33:11
Moses, like I can't do this. I can't do that.
33:14
But the Lord is like, OK, but if I call you to do this, I'm going
33:18
to provide you with everything that you need because it's my
33:22
will. It's going to glorify me.
33:24
So I want you. I want this more than you want
33:27
this. I'm going to provide for every
33:29
step of the way. And he has.
33:31
And it's just so crazy how He has provided, you know, So I
33:35
just want the listeners to know that don't be afraid to step
33:39
into something that's uncomfortable, that's impossible
33:43
in your eyes, because the Lord will provide because He will
33:47
always be faithful. Even when we're not, He is
33:51
faithful. And it reminds me of the story
33:54
in was it Luke 17 where Jesus healed the 10 lepers, but Jesus
34:00
didn't heal them on the spot. He said go and as they went they
34:06
were healed. So sometimes we have to take
34:09
that step of faith 1st and see how God provides.
34:12
We don't need to know every step of the detail, but to trust His
34:17
character and take that leap of faith-based on His character.
34:21
We will see His hand in everything.
34:25
Amen. You know, God, I've said this
34:27
before and I it's, it fits perfectly with what you just
34:31
shared because we often allow ourselves to not do something
34:37
because we feel like we don't have the resume for it.
34:41
And God doesn't want your resume.
34:44
He only wants your yes, he'll take he'll take care of the
34:47
rest. And you know that is seen time
34:51
and time again in scripture. You shared a number of stories
34:54
there, just briefly of people that God used because they said
34:59
yes, when the rest of the world would say you're unqualified to
35:03
do what you're doing. And, and you're a good example
35:07
of that. You know, you're not you.
35:09
You said yourself, I'm not qualified to be a podcast host.
35:12
I had 0 experience and now here you are.
35:15
And God, God is providing. And I've shared the same thing
35:19
about this podcast. I had 0 experience but God told
35:22
me to do it and now here we are and day by day, episode by
35:27
episode it's it's coming coming to life and God is using it.
35:33
Hey, man, it isn't that so great because one of the questions I
35:37
asked a little, OK, Lord, I don't know that many people.
35:41
How am I supposed to interview people?
35:46
And then it's just so crazy because the, I'm not sure if you
35:49
know what pot Match is, but it's kind of like like Matchmaker FM
35:55
where podcaster and guests can connect with each other.
35:58
So the founder of Pop Match actually emailed me, hey, like,
36:01
I think you'll be a great fit for our community, blah, blah,
36:04
blah. And I was like, OK, the Lord is
36:07
just providing me with guests. And initially I thought maybe I
36:13
can release 1 episode a month or whatever.
36:15
But now I have the same problem like you, like I have so many,
36:19
so many guests that I'm like, OK, I just need to like organize
36:22
my schedule and figure out when to release, who to release.
36:25
And yeah, it's a good problem to have, but don't be afraid,
36:29
because the Lord will come through.
36:32
Amen. He does it every time.
36:34
Yes. You know, there's, as you think
36:37
back about your story, we can sit here and talk podcasts all
36:40
day, but that's not what this episode is about.
36:42
So we're going to stop this. We're going to stop there.
36:45
There's a, you know, there's a powerful theme to your story of
36:50
God providing and positioning you in the right places at the
36:53
right time. You know, and you think
36:55
specifically, I'm thinking specifically right now about the
36:58
time they he moved you just before those riots.
37:03
You know, the, that's the, the big uprising in in your country.
37:07
How has that changed the way that you trust God's timing now?
37:15
That's good. I'm naturally a very impatient
37:20
person, honestly. Like I want everything done like
37:26
right this second, but that just doesn't work that way.
37:30
And I just really have to slow down and just remember his
37:36
faithfulness and his timing. And when I just really sit down
37:41
and reflect on those moments, I remind myself, OK, I'm not God.
37:48
I don't know everything. He is God, He knows everything.
37:52
He wants the best for me, so I just got to trust Him.
37:57
And I know that even the waiting season is not wasted because in
38:03
that waiting season, he's maturing you.
38:05
He's developing qualities that you need in order to fulfill the
38:10
next calling or the next mission.
38:12
So knowing that really helps me to wait patiently, not
38:18
perfectly. Because some days I'm like, hey,
38:20
Lord, it's been XYZ days or months or years.
38:23
I mean, come on, Lord. But you know, reflecting, really
38:28
just sitting down and reflecting because oftentimes I think we
38:32
forget because we get too busy and then, you know, the world
38:36
feeds US information, so we forget what the Lord has done.
38:42
So I think a really healthy habit for me and I would
38:46
recommend for all of us is to just pick a day in the week,
38:51
don't do anything. Just sit down and reflect how
38:55
God has been so faithful over your life and just thank him.
38:59
Just thank him and and that joy and that just passion for the
39:04
Lord will will come up again. Indeed it will you know that you
39:12
as we've said multiple times, you have been through so much
39:15
and it a lot of healing has had to take place and is still
39:18
taking place, yes. So for the listeners out there
39:22
that are listening right now, can you walk us through kind of
39:26
just briefly what the process of learning your worth actually
39:32
looks like in everyday life, not necessarily just spiritually,
39:38
but even emotionally? It's a long and hard process and
39:48
I still fall so many times, but the Lord is just so good and so
39:57
faithful because it's truly nothing that I did.
40:01
It's all Him. Like I mentioned before, I was
40:05
in a lot of toxic and abusive relationships before, but He has
40:10
redeemed that part of my life because He's given me a husband
40:13
that actually treats me with honor and respect.
40:18
So. I just remembered when I first
40:22
met him, I was actually still in a relationship and I'm not proud
40:29
of that relationship. But the Lord just knew because
40:35
when my now husband found out that I was still in a
40:37
relationship, he said, OK, no way Jose, I'm not going to be
40:41
with this girl, right? But the Lord actually told him,
40:44
no, go back to her because she needs you.
40:47
And that just reminded me of the story of Hosea where even though
40:51
she was not faithful to him, that the Lord told him to go
40:55
back to his wife, right? And that just reminds me of the
41:00
character of the Lord, Like no matter how many times we fail
41:03
him, that he still pursues us. And so I don't know if this
41:09
answers your question, but I think He's slowly teaching me
41:14
that to unlearn that I have to earn love, that I have to do it
41:19
on my own power or my own whatever, that I have to do it.
41:22
No, He will do it with you and for you.
41:26
All you have to do is truly just trust Him and surrender it to
41:29
him. And yeah, He will do.
41:33
He will do the hard work. Praise the Lord, He will do the
41:35
hard work. For somebody out there right now
41:41
that's listening and they're they're feeling trapped.
41:45
They're feeling trapped in shame, or they believe that
41:49
their story disqualifies them from being used by God.
41:53
What is one thing that you would want them to hear today?
42:04
Your story matters and Share your story because no one else
42:09
in the whole entire world will ever have your story.
42:13
And there's one person, at least one person that needs to hear
42:17
your story. And if you're sharing your story
42:20
gives that person hope, be that person's lifeline.
42:25
I don't know what that what the Lord's purpose is for you
42:28
sharing that story to that one person.
42:31
But if imagine that only you can reach this one person and that
42:37
seed of you planting in that person will create so much hope
42:41
and purpose and joy in that one person.
42:44
So I just want the listeners to know not to look at everybody
42:49
else's story, not compare yourself because it's not a fair
42:52
comparison because you're not the same as the other person, so
42:55
you can't compare yourself. It's not a fair comparison.
42:58
So just focus on this, on your story, on the what the Lord has
43:08
planted in you and worked through you, because no one else
43:11
will have that. Love that, you know, and I, I
43:16
can hear it right now. I can just hear somebody's
43:19
listening there. You already said that.
43:22
Well, you know what, that this was not planned.
43:26
This is just kind of a natural, natural flow to the episode.
43:30
And I think I, I truly believe that it was brought up a second
43:34
time because somebody needs to hear it.
43:38
And maybe that first time you were like, well, that's not me.
43:42
Well, this is this is God tap whapping you upside the head
43:45
saying it is you. Listen.
43:47
Yeah. Yes, yes.
43:50
Because that's, and that's often what happens to me is when I,
43:52
when I doubt myself and I doubt what I'm hearing, if I, if he
43:56
really wants me to hear it, he makes me hear it again.
44:02
Yep. I, I won't ask you to repeat it
44:05
a third time though. So right now you're doing a lot
44:13
of work through your podcast and through everything else that you
44:15
have going on to help others break silence and walk towards
44:20
freedom. You know, to be able to live
44:22
unspoken or unmasked. What does living unmasked look
44:28
like for you today? And how do you guard that
44:31
honesty in your own life? That's a good one.
44:43
I think I am still in the process and I'm still learning
44:47
to be the version, to be confident in the version that
44:50
God created for me to be. And I've seen growth because I
44:57
just don't really care anymore if people like me or not, and I
45:00
just show up as my true self. And it's been so honestly, so
45:06
freeing. That's why the Lord says, do not
45:09
fear, man, right? Because what's going to what?
45:12
What does, what good does it do to your soul?
45:15
So I just, yeah, I just show up as my true self.
45:21
And I find that when you do that, you actually discover who
45:27
you truly are and how unique you actually are.
45:31
So it's kind of like you have to break out of your shell and to
45:34
really not care what other people think, which is so hard
45:40
though, which I sometimes still do.
45:43
But yeah, I see improvement. And I just want the listeners to
45:47
know that give grace to yourself because it's not an easy or
45:51
instant process. So just yeah, have grace for
45:56
yourself and continue to do the work and one day you will have
46:01
that full freedom. Love that.
46:05
Well, I have one more question for you, but before I ask this
46:08
last question, I want to give you the opportunity here.
46:11
Share, share with the listeners a little bit more about your
46:14
podcasts and where they can find it.
46:16
And if they want to find out more information about you,
46:19
maybe where they can find you online.
46:21
Sure. So my podcast is called Unspoken
46:25
with Aggie Park and you guys can find me on Instagram, Tiktok, at
46:31
an under score spoken pod POD. And I welcome all messages,
46:39
prayer request if you want to be a guest or if any questions,
46:42
comments. It's not just a talk or a
46:45
podcast, but truly a community where we can walk along each
46:50
other's healing journey. Absolutely.
46:54
And I can speak from experience that Aggie is a great podcast
46:58
host and you will have a good time listening to our show.
47:02
And if you feel LED, reach out and I'm sure you'll have an even
47:05
better time being on the podcast.
47:09
Well, Aggie, one of those things that I love to do here on
47:11
Unmasked as I love to leave my listeners with an action step,
47:16
something that they can ponder or something that they can do
47:19
over the next week or so and really start taking that step
47:24
towards living Unmasked. So as you think, as you think
47:27
about all that you've been through and you think about all
47:30
that you're going through right now, as you're in continuing
47:33
your own healing journey and living Unmasked, what is 1
47:38
action step that you would leave the listeners with to begin
47:44
Living Unmasked? It's a good one.
47:52
I would encourage the listeners to write down and be honest
47:59
because the Lord already knows. Write down all your painful
48:03
memories and all the lies that you have believed, specifically
48:08
by name. And then go to the Lord and ask
48:11
him, OK Lord, what was the purpose for this painful season
48:16
of my life? What did you want to teach me?
48:18
What did you want to accomplish in and through me and the these
48:22
set of lies? What are you saying and help me
48:26
to really believe that over the lies and truly asking the Holy
48:31
Spirit when those lies try to torment your mind, Remember to
48:36
ask the Holy Spirit for help because we're never ever alone.
48:41
Love it Aggie, thank you so much again for being with us today
48:46
here on Unmasked and and being willing to Share your story.
48:51
Thank you, Wesley. Yeah, it's, yeah.
48:53
It's been such a joy talking to you.
48:55
And I'm sure we're going to talk again soon.
48:59
Sure. Well, thanks again for joining
49:06
me today at Unmasked. And again, a huge thanks to
49:09
Aggie for being our guest today and sharing so openly and
49:13
honestly with us, the Unmasked community.
49:16
If something in this episode spoke to you, don't let it stop
49:20
with you. Share it with the one person
49:22
that God has put on your heart while you were listening.
49:24
You never know whose breakthrough might start with
49:27
just a simple message from you. If you want more encouragement,
49:30
you want to work with me one-on-one, or you're interested
49:33
in having me speak at your church or event, you can find
49:37
everything@wesleyfernsworth.com and make sure you join the
49:40
Unmasked community by connecting with me on social media so that
49:44
we can walk this journey together.
49:47
Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past
49:51
and real freedom begins the moment that you choose to live
49:55
unmasked. God bless you.