Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 32: The Dusk Funnel Pt. 5: It's Raining Scvm

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Season One, Episode 32: The Dusk Funnel Pt. 5: It's Raining Scvm · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:01
Greetings Skype and welcome to Flail.
0:06
In the face. Excuse me, I had a little
0:09
something in my throat. Hey, it's me, Walt.
0:13
Back again on Flail. You may Remember Me as Grin or
0:16
as Grin. And tonight we're going to wrap
0:21
up the dust funnel. Yeah, I'm dying here.
0:23
Somebody saved me. Left his lock.
0:27
Hello, hi I'm Levi. I am returning as my character
0:30
Sasha. And it is stand.
0:33
No, it's not. I was waiting for it.
0:38
This is Thomas. I'll be playing Quill Knock.
0:40
Hi, I'm Kevin. I'm playing Tommy.
0:43
OK, now it is Vince turn. Sorry about that.
0:46
Yes. And I'm Nate and I play Screech.
0:50
Let's flail this whale. Yeah, baby.
1:19
So at the end of the last episode, everybody was cupped in
1:23
the hands of this giant iron God at the bottom of the dusk
1:27
funnel. And Agency is a little fuzzy
1:30
here, but he got hit in the face with a bomb that was lit by
1:34
Sasha and potentially thrown by Spend.
1:36
And pretty much you guys rolled A1 on your reaction.
1:41
Roll on that one big guys. Not happy.
1:44
I didn't do it. It's all your fucking fault.
1:47
Yeah, it's not my fault. It is your fault.
1:50
Kind of. I didn't get cursed on purpose.
1:52
How high up are we in the in these hands?
1:54
Technically we're. Low, if you think about it.
1:57
But we're also I got. 2 answers right there.
2:00
Yeah, you're you're far below the ground, but you're high
2:04
above. Right in the middle.
2:05
Out of the underground. OK, all right, we'll change my
2:08
mind. We're in about the middle.
2:10
Height. OK, great.
2:13
You've got a long way to fall if this guy drops you or if you
2:15
jump you. Know hell Hell's under us.
2:19
You know. Is this guy wearing any clothes?
2:22
Nope. Yeah, but he's also made of some
2:25
jinko iron, possibly molten. Oh yeah, OK, I don't want to
2:29
touch him then I OK shit. Do we have to roll for
2:32
initiative now? He has not been prompted.
2:35
Sure, what the hell? No.
2:37
Why ask that question? Because I figured that this is
2:40
where it was going. Trying to find a way out.
2:42
I was going to give you guys a minute, but hey, we can jump
2:44
into that if you want. No.
2:46
All right, roll it, Nathaniel. Fucking I, I can, I, we can, we
2:49
can sit here and make decisions. Nope.
2:52
That's not what we do here. All.
2:54
Right fucking I'll roll it. It's him.
3:00
God damn. So yeah, the big guy just roars
3:04
and anger at having been hit in the face by a bomb.
3:09
And he was holding you both in both hands or you all in both
3:13
hands, wasn't he has? Kept in both hands while it was
3:17
cooling with water. He kind of tilt his hand so you
3:19
all kind of spill into one hand so he can raise the other and
3:24
kind of want to call for some kind of test to see who gets
3:26
washed out of the one hand. Oh.
3:29
You know, like an. Agility test which?
3:31
Hand is where? He's spilling you all into the
3:34
left hand. Oh, so it's just all of us.
3:38
Well, you're all in his cupped hands.
3:40
He's kind of tilting at sea. All agility 1, sure.
3:43
Is that what his? Fuck.
3:45
Oh, Dean, baby. I'm terrified it's going to be
3:48
bad. Yeah.
3:49
It's so bad, yeah. I got A7.
3:52
I got an 8. I got 12. +2 is 6.
3:56
What? Yay addition.
4:01
The perfect two to make it I. Did.
4:05
Spins always survives. Christ, the instigators.
4:11
Yeah, he he tilts his hands and there's this rush of water in
4:14
One Direction and spins and Sasha get caught on the rebound
4:19
and screech and Quillnock and Tommy go spilling over the edge
4:23
and down. Son of A.
4:28
Bitch, bitch. Motherfucker.
4:30
Fucker. This could not be how this ends.
4:33
I told you ought to stay away from me.
4:35
You deserve everything you're getting you.
4:38
Fucking did this song, what happens to them?
4:45
Yeah, good question. He raises his other fist up in
4:48
the air and brings it down to kind of smash you between fist
4:52
and palm. Give me defense.
4:54
Wait. It's ADR 10.
5:02
Four. I got a four.
5:05
OK, that's a four. That's probably good.
5:08
I want to use an omen to reduce. I got an 8 and I don't want to
5:12
die here. Do you have any armor?
5:15
No. OK, all right.
5:17
Well, that gives me a 12. It's only DR10.
5:20
Yep, just worried about my baby girl Sasha.
5:22
I got a four so. Yeah, so Levi take D8 damage.
5:28
Oh, that's eight damage. Oh my.
5:30
God. 3. You're.
5:33
Good. So damn as the fist as the fist
5:37
comes down spins like kind of rolls and tucks himself in like
5:41
the little crack between two fingers, and Sasha takes the
5:45
brunt of the blow. Bro what the fuck?
5:49
Oh get in home. Best way to hide.
5:51
I promise you it's coming quick and I just lay down real quick.
5:56
Just fall. It just fall.
6:00
It wasn't my fault he hit it towards you.
6:02
I was trying to kill them. But no, please Finn not he not
6:08
mean nothing by it. It's everyone's turn now.
6:11
I would like to burn my flesh. I would like to spend the power
6:17
to transform. Into what?
6:20
The Sun, Oh. You're not you're.
6:23
Doing Sun sun sun. Yes, the Sun the.
6:25
Sun, the sun. I knew that he had it.
6:27
I have it. Yeah, you had it ready today.
6:30
All creatures in 10 feet are scorched by my Stellar Fury and
6:34
take 2D10 damage. Mortar flesh is.
6:38
Not meant. To contain such a such a power,
6:41
so afterwards I may not wear armor and my HP is half.
6:44
I'm in a crevice. I approach the bench.
6:49
I'm the crevice. I'm in like the finger finger
6:52
crevice right? And I rolled away.
6:54
You said it with your own 2 lips.
6:58
Can I? Can I at least be out of the
7:01
range of death? Please I think this is a roll
7:07
off. I think it is.
7:12
The rest of us win either way. Normally it's automatic damage,
7:16
right Levi? I think it's just.
7:17
Automatic damage people within 10 feet.
7:21
I rolled away. But you're still within 10 feet
7:24
and this guy is made of metal. I'll give you another defence
7:27
roll. OK, I'll take.
7:29
ADR 12 this time. I got a 14.
7:38
So, so my my fiery body doesn't do anything to the scorched
7:43
hand. No, no, that was just Jake
7:45
getting out of the way. Go ahead and rule your damage
7:46
against this guy. To.
7:48
Survive a day again. Oh, 19.
7:54
Holy shit. Jesus.
7:57
Does. That kill him.
7:59
Doubt it. No.
8:02
Describe what this looks like as you do this.
8:05
So after being smushed by the hand, I, I kind of stand up and
8:11
I, I turn into this bright light and I kind of melt myself into
8:15
his hand a little bit. So I have like a little molten
8:18
crater underneath me. Like a little planter, Mort.
8:22
Sure. You, you don't know your own
8:25
strength, apparently, Sasha, because you just melt his hand
8:29
like the whole thing just. For fuck sake.
8:33
What 19? God damn.
8:37
Damage, so the hand liquefies. Oh shit, yeah.
8:42
What happens to my where I'm standing?
8:44
Yeah, what about? Spend the both of you fall.
8:47
No, we cut to screech, Quill, Knock, and Tommy as you hit the
8:54
water. OK, do we need to make it a
8:58
fucking roll or? No, because canonically from the
9:02
last couple episodes when you fall in water it does no damage.
9:05
Yes. Awesome.
9:06
Yes, it's from fucking Tears of the Kingdom mechanics.
9:12
Perfect. Nice.
9:13
So then like looking around is like this giant's feat like near
9:20
us or? Near Ish.
9:22
Is there any shore around or there is there's?
9:26
Like a little ledge you can climb out onto and it kind of
9:29
from what you can see, because he's glowing, he's casting light
9:32
in here. So it's not completely dark.
9:33
There's some illumination. There's this ledge and it looks
9:36
like it goes for a little ways around the perimeter of this
9:39
cave. And you see a little falling
9:42
sun. Approaching the wall.
9:44
And now it's getting bigger. As it's getting brighter, if I
9:48
can stand, I'm going to stand and take a swing at this giant
9:52
shin or foot like whatever's nearest to me.
9:55
Oh. Shit.
9:57
You can't stand, but you can still take a swing on the leg.
10:00
Yeah, I'll give the give it a shot.
10:02
These cultists taking my eyes for this piece of garbage and
10:05
I'm just swinging right into it. Warhammer got a 15.
10:12
That's a hit. Doing 6 damage.
10:16
It hits with a really loud thunk and you can feel the warhammer
10:20
reverberating in your hands, rattles your teeth and your
10:23
brain just. Howl with rage at this point.
10:26
What's everybody else doing? Well, that.
10:29
Guy's crazy. No, no, you're fucking right
10:32
there, screech, and Tommy's going to doggy paddle to the
10:35
fucking shore. Try to get the fuck away from
10:37
all that, right? Yes.
10:39
OK. Then it is initiative again.
10:43
Five potatoes. That's you guys, Tommy and
10:48
Screecher heading for the shore. Full Knock is still there in
10:52
water combat with the Iron God and Sasha and Svend hit the
10:59
water along with a whole bunch of molten metal.
11:01
Except I do a cool death dive, right?
11:04
What before I hit the water? Death dive?
11:06
What? Yeah.
11:06
You know where you like, you take your hands and your feet
11:09
and you like point them down right before you hit make
11:11
impact. Wait, what?
11:12
Why? That's what the kids are doing
11:14
nowadays. That's yeah.
11:15
So. A lot of the Cliff divers do it.
11:17
Yeah, they're death diving. So they get their.
11:18
Raised kids are dumb. Yeah, yeah.
11:21
And so is Sasha. Spin's mutated body does not let
11:27
him contort himself very well. He belly flops.
11:29
That sounds painful. He's used to it.
11:32
So what's everybody doing? I'm.
11:34
Going to swim to shore. You see Screech and Tommy over
11:36
there a little ways ahead of you.
11:38
Oh help spin spin that does not have his floaties please I
11:42
cannot. Great swimmer but the only with
11:45
floaties. Please please I'm standing.
11:47
At that, you creepy fuck. I have so many voices in my
11:51
head. Yeah, spin too.
11:53
Is there a different shore away from all these people?
11:57
Romeo D6. Spite Omen 5.
12:02
I spite omen it. No, there is.
12:05
I swim to a different shore. Fair enough.
12:08
Cool knock. Yeah, if I'm like just floating,
12:11
I need to go because I'm actually in heavier armor, so
12:14
I'm going to have to. You know, I bet you could stand
12:17
on this guy's foot and attack him.
12:19
Like, wait up onto the top of his foot and stand there, all
12:22
right? That's what I'm doing then.
12:23
Oh my God, he's. Crazy motherfucker.
12:27
He's going to stomp you out, friend.
12:30
That's a 17. That's a hit.
12:33
For three more damage. What's this Armor D20?
12:38
D6 You're old to six, so this time you wind up with the hammer
12:42
and it just clangs off of his metal tide and I'm just lose
12:47
your grip on it. Grunting at this point, just
12:49
repeatedly like windmill slamming into this.
12:54
And he knows you're there, so he lifts that foot to try to stomp
12:58
Sasha. Oh.
13:00
What's? Rude as.
13:02
Fuck, you melted his whole fucking hand.
13:07
Also, you deserve this. I got a 10 on the nut then.
13:11
Damn, so like the the pressure of his foot just pushes you
13:15
under without actually crushing you and you kind of like pop out
13:18
the side and Bob back up to the surface.
13:21
I. See, I see Sasha pop up from the
13:24
surface and it's just yeah, help take this down.
13:27
What are you doing? What are you doing?
13:29
I'm trying to live here. Leave me alone.
13:30
I hate you guys. You're all Dicks.
13:33
Dicks. Fucking drowned then, you
13:36
fucking prick. I can't.
13:37
I'm too good at swimming, bitch. Stop moving in.
13:41
Sink, you fuck. Shit.
13:52
Screech and Tommy, you reach the little shore ledge.
13:55
Rock thing. Beautiful.
13:57
All right, I'll help Screech up or screech will help me up.
14:00
Either way, we're. Both up.
14:01
They're both pulling each other up as you climb.
14:04
Yeah, it. Would have been easier if we
14:05
just did it alone. I'm going to climb on this guy's
14:09
foot for safety. What are you talking about?
14:12
You're on that shore. No water.
14:15
He remember he all. He splooshed me around.
14:18
We didn't quite get there. That's.
14:19
A good swimmer, bitch. How?
14:23
How is this? You know what?
14:24
Make your own decisions. I ain't going to.
14:25
I ain't going to talk you out of it.
14:26
If I if I'm on the foot, what he's he's going to step on the
14:29
foot and try to hurt me. Oh, I guess sorry.
14:32
We'll don't ignore. That that's what he was, that's
14:35
what I thought he was going to do.
14:36
That's. What I also thought he was going
14:37
to do. It's what he will do.
14:41
He's going to self damage himself.
14:42
Good. He'll throw himself.
14:43
OK, yeah, hit yourself in the foot with your own foot.
14:46
You ever stop a pinky toe bitch? Oh my fuck.
14:48
Yeah, I'm in a bad mood. Do I see spinned in the water?
14:57
I'm just floundering in the back.
14:59
I take off my phone and I shoot him.
15:00
I'm just kidding. I've got 30 feet of rope.
15:04
I want to throw it out to him and try to drag his ass in and
15:07
try to do the same thing. I got a grappling hook too, so
15:10
that might. Help.
15:11
Oh yeah, throw that at me. It's his right side of his face.
15:15
Just drag him back. Do I need to roll anything or
15:18
no? OK, someone will be initiative
15:20
though. Oh, that.
15:22
Nice. That's not going to work. 4
15:24
That's us. I grab the rope.
15:26
I pull spinned in. I don't.
15:28
I look for a way out of this place, actually.
15:32
It's probably dark as fuck down here, isn't it?
15:34
You can see there's some illumination, but you know, it's
15:37
hard to see. Is that is that a tunnel or is
15:39
that just a shadow on the wall? Sure, I'm going to start looking
15:41
around. All right, we're all going.
15:43
Give me a person's test. Natural 23 or 23.
15:49
Welcome back to the table. Yeah, welcome.
15:51
Back, boys. Yeah, it turns out you right
15:55
over there. You, you came ashore right next
15:57
to this tunnel that's leading off away from this cavern.
16:00
It's the exit sign. The Pagemaster is waiting for
16:02
you. How does Screech communicate
16:04
this to his friends? Or does he?
16:06
Dummy, dummy. Yeah, no, it is kind of fucking
16:13
drafting down here. Let's try to get everybody
16:16
fucking down here and get the fuck out of here.
16:19
Did you find something? What?
16:21
What? I I see you as I'm fucking
16:23
dragging in spin. I think he is talking about how
16:27
there's draft usually in big and then there's the way to get can
16:35
you maybe keep it just a little higher like nothing, stop
16:40
tugging. Stop tugging, all right?
16:42
Okay, has have I fucking drugged spinned up yet?
16:45
Yes. Okay, sin you, you creepy old
16:49
fuck, get the fuck up here. I've got torches.
16:54
I'll hand torches to these two guys.
16:55
I'm going to throw rope out to quill knock again to try to try
16:58
to get my fucking crew together because I will not be a fucking
17:01
failure in the arch rogues eyes. No matter how fucked up this
17:05
fucking crew is, I will not be a fucking failure in the arch
17:08
rogues eyes. I'm going to have you make a
17:10
range presence tax to see if you can hook my Bower hammer,
17:15
because otherwise I'm going to keep windmill hitting this guy.
17:19
I think that I would get that too.
17:20
That's 14. Oh yeah, yeah, you definitely
17:24
got it. Oh spin will help tug rope with
17:26
you. Perfect hanging from the rope
17:29
with his feet off the ground. And I'm I'm going to try to
17:33
fucking pull Quill Knock back in and maybe Sasha will.
17:37
Pull the fuck out of his strength on that.
17:40
Sure. Spin is helping.
17:42
I got a nine. I got an 11.
17:45
So yeah, like it's like Quill knocks getting ready to just
17:49
like wind up and swing and the grappling hook just catches the
17:54
warhammer and just Yanks me back towards the other guys on the
17:58
short. And.
18:00
Tommy's just fucking determined to get the crew back together,
18:02
so he's pulling every fucking ounce of energy he possibly can
18:06
to get him in so. Yeah, like a fishing lure
18:08
through the water you just pulling caught on the log.
18:11
Yeah. And that leaves Sasha alone on
18:14
the giant boot. I'm on the foot.
18:17
I'm looking for an exit that's not where they are.
18:19
Presence, says DR18, because you are not close to the walls where
18:24
you are looking. Balls, it's a 3 he.
18:27
Threw his balls too. Is that everybody?
18:29
Yeah. All right, his turn.
18:32
He leans down to look at you, Sasha, and he starts to raise a
18:36
fist and starts to swing it down to you and realize it's chained
18:39
too high up to hit you. But his other arm slips out of
18:42
the manacle since there's no longer a hand on the end of it,
18:47
and he swings that down at you. Defend. 14-1.
18:52
That passes. Swan dive back into the wadies.
18:56
All right, nice. Try.
18:57
That's what. The fuck is happening here?
19:03
And that's initiative. OK, I'll I'll fuck this one up.
19:06
What is that 3? Sasha defend as Greg lifts his
19:11
foot and tries to stomp you again.
19:14
Defend Sasha. Defend.
19:17
Oh my, that's. A.
19:19
Pass you. Lucky prick he doesn't.
19:21
Even get near you this time he just like lifts a foot and
19:24
stomps and the wave just kind of pushes you further toward where
19:27
you're going. Perfect.
19:29
I was going to say I'm surfing that wave a belly board style.
19:33
We couldn't, all right, And that's the party's turn.
19:38
Where is it boy? Tell me Screech, where is the
19:41
drafted coming from? I have a torch here lit next to
19:45
a hole in the. Wall.
19:46
You sound so. Wet torch.
19:49
My really wet torch, yeah. You use your wet matches to
19:52
light that wet torch you. Didn't know my.
19:54
Thighs to dry it off, yeah. I wring it.
19:58
Out to my wet thighs. I'm going to pull on Thomas's
20:02
Kurt, Taylor or whatever. You know, we should maybe, maybe
20:05
just fucking leave. Obviously Sasha, not like any of
20:09
us. I don't know.
20:10
She seems to be cool. It's Finn though, just saying.
20:13
No, I don't think she's fucking cool with you.
20:16
Have I gotten cool knock up to the shore yet?
20:18
You'll spend this turn doing it. Okay, I'm just going to still
20:23
keep just yanking on this rope that sounded bad.
20:28
Just trying to get cool. Knock up on shore.
20:31
Cool knock. Once I get up next to Tommy,
20:34
it's like, what are you doing? We got to take this out.
20:37
No, you choose your fucking battles.
20:39
That thing's fucking huge. We could live and you could find
20:41
your cultists that took your fucking eyeballs, and we could
20:43
get this. Take our care of all that.
20:45
They did it for him. I'm going to make them bang.
20:48
No, fuck no. Kill the cultists first or fuck
20:51
I no I'm not dying for that big fuck right now.
20:54
Yeah, you're just going to turn into ketchup packets stepped on
20:57
by loose Vagrant. It's gross.
21:02
I spinned this scene before just.
21:05
I I, I get it. I get it.
21:06
You got you want revenge for fucking them taking your eyes.
21:09
I fucking understand that, but fucking pick your battles right
21:12
now. It's there's 5433 of us spin and
21:17
then Sasha doing whatever the fuck she's doing right?
21:19
Here why talk? I know, I know.
21:21
You're doing great buddy, and. Spin walks away and holding up
21:25
her middle finger. We don't have enough to fucking
21:29
take this thing out right now. OK, like using 2 fingers and
21:32
like tapping Tommy in the chest is like all right, we'll get the
21:36
Coltus but we come back. OK, that's fine.
21:38
I want to fucking live so we can come back.
21:40
Can we do that? When you 2 are done talking each
21:43
other's robes spin this fucking ready to go now.
21:46
At at that point, like I just like kind of like choke up on
21:49
the warhammer, kind of lean it on my shoulder and then walk
21:53
past a screech into the tunnel. Whatever floats your coat,
21:57
brother. No.
21:59
I'm going to throw the rope to Sasha.
22:01
Sasha. No, no, she hates them.
22:06
You get one fucking shot to live, Sasha, Do you want to do
22:09
that or you want to fucking drown?
22:10
I can't. Remember, is this shit
22:11
permanent? Whatever's happening.
22:13
No, it's like 2 hours or some shit.
22:15
Hasn't. Yeah, but it hasn't been 2.
22:16
Hours yet it hasn't been two hours though I'll.
22:18
Put my hand on Tommy's show. Do you want to live the hate us
22:21
or you want to die in this fucking puddles?
22:23
While she's like breast stroking along, she's like.
22:26
Fuck you, baby boy. Gives you the birds and just
22:29
keeps going. I put my head on top of your
22:32
shoulder. Don't go there.
22:33
Go friend. I turn around to go back towards
22:36
the other two. Is there anything I could tie
22:38
the rope off to where we're standing?
22:41
Yeah, there's probably a Rock You can tie it around like a
22:43
formation. Like.
22:43
Grappling hook. Like no, I'm keeping the
22:45
grappling hook. I.
22:47
Don't like her that much. I'm going to have the I'm going
22:52
to have the rope still out there.
22:53
I'm going to tie it off onto this rock and I'm going to stare
22:55
at her. I'm going to turn around and
22:57
walk away. Follow the group.
22:58
As you turn and walk away, you see something else plummet from
23:00
the top of the cavern, down the waterfall and splash into the
23:03
pool. What the?
23:04
Fuck was that? Do I swim to an opposite shore
23:07
for safety? You're just swimming toward
23:09
another like rocky out crapping at water level and I think
23:15
that's initiative role again. Oh my.
23:17
God, just you out there, baby boy.
23:20
It's me, I swim further and do I get to safety now?
23:24
Yes. OK, do I find a hidey hole?
23:28
No, you were on this just kind of barren little chunk of rock
23:31
against a wall. There's no cave.
23:33
There's no like continuation anywhere.
23:35
It's just like your own little like 10 feet of nothing.
23:40
Am I far enough away from the legs?
23:43
As you're wondering that he winds up and moves to stomp you.
23:47
Give me a defence role. Oh, that is a dirty 20.
23:54
Oh my. God, what?
23:57
Was this block earlier? I don't.
23:59
Know he got hit by Max damage clap earlier so.
24:03
You pressure back up against the wall as you see this giant foot
24:06
coming toward you and it just stops like an inch from your
24:09
face as he's reached his range on the chains.
24:13
If I'm taking a nap against that wall.
24:16
Nice try, big boy. Get over to work and stop you do
24:18
a piece of shit fuck. You that dust bitch.
24:22
Fuck you. I got 1 mission.
24:27
I need that dust. Need that dust if you if you
24:32
want to come over here. You're the one missing the hand.
24:34
Loser. Loser.
24:36
You see these puppies? And I give them double birds.
24:41
You can't do this move that little big toe.
24:45
I swear to fucking dog as soon as I get out of this.
24:47
Get out of this snow on that wall, you bastard.
24:50
You can try. You've been down here for a long
24:51
time, haven't? You while you're stuck there,
25:04
I'm going. To take a break.
25:42
And welcome back to Flail to the Face.
25:46
So what is the majority of the party doing having left the big
25:51
cavern? I'm looking for Braille on the
25:54
walls 'cause I can't see. What is your interpretation of
25:57
Braille? Or what is Finn's interpretation
25:59
of Braille? He's on all the grey.
26:01
Woods. Yeah, but I got my weird awkward
26:03
long fingers just kind of fingering all the holes.
26:08
Spinn has been in many caves before.
26:10
Just ask the fourth wife. We used to go all the time.
26:13
She called it swinging but and I see no difference.
26:17
I think I found something that's a little a little tight, but
26:21
maybe spin can squeeze through. We need to be able to find a
26:26
whip. Before I'm trying to follow the
26:27
draft. You, I'm just going to watch him
26:31
walk off since I can see in the dark, watch him walk off and
26:35
hopefully watch him walk into something.
26:38
Yeah. Well, OK, I'm feeling all around
26:42
these holes for like the draft. Where would the draft be coming
26:45
from? From right.
26:46
There's definitely an air current down the tunnel and it's
26:49
definitely a tunnel, not just like a little alcove in the
26:52
wall. Spin must be fingering wrong
26:55
hole here. Let me let Spin turn around.
26:58
Well, yes, there is draft face first.
27:00
Oh. My God.
27:01
Here, just just follow me and I'm going to like grab spin by
27:04
his backpack and just kind of like drag him along.
27:07
Yeah, thank you. Well, knock spin does.
27:09
Turns out eyes not as good as before.
27:11
Still glassy. I'm going to assume that they're
27:14
still a little bit ahead of me since I tied off the rope for
27:18
all Sasha there. While I'm tying off the rope,
27:20
I'm going to give a whistle for Uncle Raz to come down.
27:23
There we are. And then I'm going to head into
27:26
the The Cave, kind of feeling my way through because I can't see
27:30
in the dark either and I've got wet torches.
27:32
I'm sure you can hear spend. Talking, so I'm going to try to
27:36
catch up with them. All right, we cut back to the
27:39
main cavern. Sasha, what are you doing?
27:41
Keep your toes away from me, I'm going to stab it.
27:45
And I I pull out my weird sword and I just keep stabbing the toe
27:50
every time he tries to get close to me now.
27:52
Put that fucking pigs to go where you little piece of shit.
27:56
I'm a little prick. Get away.
27:58
Get away. Yeah, you are.
27:59
My God, old people have to fall down that fucking whole head
28:01
with you. It's not my fault it was theirs.
28:04
You burned off my hand. That's your.
28:06
Fault you were trying to catch these faces.
28:15
Sasha, as you're sitting here having this argument, you see
28:19
something swimming through the water toward the other ledge
28:22
where everyone was but now no longer is.
28:25
What's it look like? Looks like a man riding a pig.
28:27
A man riding. A pig.
28:29
Oh. No.
28:30
This pig looks familiar, right? It does.
28:33
The man doesn't. No, the man does too.
28:35
He's got this long white beard and these black robes.
28:37
No fucking way. Oh boy, here he is.
28:40
No. Hey, the pig was a plan.
28:44
What? Oh, hey, it's you.
28:45
Why do you why do you did we meet before?
28:48
I think so. You can't remember.
28:51
Can't remember a lot of things that.
28:53
Makes sense. Can you kill this guy or what?
28:57
Probably not. No, I don't think I'm going to
28:59
do that. OK, fuck you then.
29:05
Fuck you too. Yeah.
29:07
Go to start. Pig climbs up onto the ledge and
29:11
goes trotting off down the tunnel I love.
29:13
That pig. You're fucked, Levi.
29:17
Can I just so I'm just on this little 10 foot rock and there's
29:22
nowhere to like shimmy away from this guy out of his reach.
29:25
I mean, it looks like if you stay against the wall you're out
29:28
of his reach. Good, I'm doing that.
29:30
OK, where you going? I.
29:31
Don't know, I'm just riding the wall trying to feel my way out
29:34
of here. Well, there's five feet that way
29:36
and five feet that way. Good.
29:38
And then, then it's water. Go left.
29:40
All right. You come to the end of the
29:42
legend. Some water.
29:43
OK, then I go the other way. Other left.
29:45
Yeah, my other left. It's a pretty short circuit
29:47
there. Well, what's on my other left?
29:51
More water. Oh, OK.
29:52
Cool. All right.
29:53
Well, so he can't reach me here. OK.
29:56
So that means if I get in the water and I make my way around
29:59
the crevasse, he can't reach me. So I'm going to do that.
30:02
Yeah. There you go.
30:09
I'm MC Hammer out of here here. I'm gone.
30:12
I'm gone. You know what?
30:13
This is actually the best self you'll get the fuck out of here
30:15
and you. Don't want any more of this
30:17
little prick. No, I don't leave you.
30:18
I'm trying. Don't God this.
30:24
Is supposed to be like some sort of God, hey?
30:25
Which way is out? Which way you want me gone?
30:28
Tell me. I'll go go over the other ones
30:30
once you. Fuck them, no way.
30:32
Fuck you, where's? Another exit, exit.
30:35
I don't know. Death.
30:36
You're useless, this guy. This is.
30:39
He's useless. Everybody wait, I'm by myself.
30:51
Oh yeah, this guy changed up down here.
30:52
Can't. Can't find your little fucking
30:54
mouse holes for you? Yeah, he's a little.
30:56
Loser, he's not feeling shit with his toes or whatever you
30:59
do. You're bored.
31:00
You don't know every. You don't know into this
31:01
crevasse. This crevasse.
31:03
Please leave, I'll give you money.
31:07
Sauce is just a. Prick.
31:09
I'm not after money. I need that dust.
31:11
Come on. Come on.
31:12
I I'd save it. I don't know what you're talking
31:14
about, but I don't think anyone knows what you.
31:16
I don't think you know what you're talking about.
31:18
Spin does sure. Don't sure.
31:20
Dick. Don't get, don't get me dust or
31:24
whatever I'm out of. Here, I'm gone.
31:25
Don't get me, I'm gone. I'm getting out of here.
31:27
Get out of. Here, fucking dog paddling.
31:30
I'm. I don't know, I'm breast
31:32
stroking dog. I'm fucking going the mile.
31:34
That's right, you're doing the swimmer.
31:36
I'm just. Going.
31:43
Where are you going again? I'm just following the wall.
31:47
You said Sasha, to be like this. I'm first.
31:50
Yeah. That's it, you come to the ledge
31:54
where you last saw your pig and those other guys fuck.
31:57
You love your pig more. I love that pig.
31:59
I'm. Going to take this rope that was
32:04
precariously placed here and I'm just going to slowly walk as far
32:08
away from them as possible but behind them so they don't see
32:11
me. I'm not glowing or anything, am
32:13
I? I think.
32:14
I am, yeah. Good, so I'm walking in the dark
32:19
and I can't see anything. Yep, and we cut back to the
32:22
party. What's everyone else doing?
32:25
Quilt knocks, just following the tunnel and dragging spin behind
32:29
him. Yeah, it's spin.
32:31
Feels like it smells danker and danker the more deeper we get.
32:35
What do you think? You shut up at.
32:37
All well, you know, Spin spends many, many years alone on the
32:41
road. So when he gets time to talk,
32:43
Spin likes to talk. Great.
32:45
So yeah, no. Great, great, great.
32:48
Maybe you could tell spin what Cape looks like since you see.
32:52
It looks like a cave, OK. We'll knock.
32:58
What? Are we there yet?
33:02
I drop him on the floor at this point and then just keep
33:04
walking. Is it safe to assume I've caught
33:07
up with them? Yes.
33:09
I'm going to step over spinned and then grab him and drag him
33:12
along as I'm trying to follow the footsteps.
33:15
Round 2 for spinned. Screech, you following along
33:18
too? Yes, I will have silently
33:20
stepped over, spinned. Actually, probably not.
33:23
I can't see anything so. Give me a presence test.
33:26
Wonderful. Fucking kick me on your way.
33:29
Or trip over him. Oh, that's pretty good.
33:31
That's like 18. Oh yeah, you, you.
33:34
You managed to step over him and not kick him or trip over him
33:37
and Tommy comes along and scoops him up.
33:39
Yeah, actually, since I can't see either, do I trip over him?
33:43
Good question. Give me a presence test.
33:46
See. It's a 1 + 2.
33:49
So hey. You found spin.
33:54
All right, so as I trip over spin, I will stand up and grab
33:58
him aggressively and start dragging him along right in the
34:02
roof of the mouth, dragging him. Oh.
34:06
God. Quilnock, you, you, you come
34:08
around to bend in the tunnel and all of a sudden it just spreads
34:12
out into an opening and it's lit from above by these hanging open
34:16
flame lamps. It's more like a cave than a
34:18
tunnel now, but there's a path forward ahead of you, lined with
34:23
broken statues, and beyond them is this very plain, cut into the
34:28
stone rectangular doorway. I'll wait up for the rest of the
34:32
group to catch up. So now that they can see with
34:36
all the hanging lights and I suppose we should just head out
34:40
this door. But what about your crazy friend
34:43
that you left back there who didn't seem like much of A
34:46
friend? Who?
34:47
Dead to me. Well, that's much different tone
34:49
than you had earlier, friend. I I've had a fucking F of this.
34:52
I'm going to take one of my torches.
34:54
I'm going to try to light my wet torch on one of the hanging
34:57
lights if I can. Yeah.
34:59
Now we got to get the fuck out of here.
35:01
I'll just walk across. I'm going to follow closely
35:03
behind him. I don't want to get lost.
35:05
Way too close. Yeah, probably.
35:07
Yeah, at that point, like Quinox leaning and Quinox going to lean
35:11
in the screech, are those two like a thing or something or?
35:16
Yes. No, fuck, OK, I just keep
35:21
walking. Son of a bitch.
35:24
Just got to shrug and follow behind.
35:26
Sasha, he's still hoofing it. Yeah.
35:28
How fast? As slow as I need to.
35:32
Don't know what that means. Are you softering?
35:35
I'm walking blindly through here because there's no lights.
35:39
So I'm, I'm just taking my time, feeling out this cave, you know,
35:43
just making my way. All right.
35:46
It's really quiet in here. Weird.
35:49
I know. I forgot he was there.
35:53
Was that my? Pig.
35:54
And I'm going to start hoofing it because I know he's riding my
35:57
pig. Yep, if you start running, give
35:59
me. There it is.
36:02
License DR14. 11 What do I run into?
36:07
Your pig's ass as you just barrel right into the back of
36:09
it. I've never been closer to you.
36:12
Oh God, how? You doing buddy good?
36:15
Oh, it's you again. Why are you on my pig?
36:18
Why aren't you on your pig? If it's your pig, don't see your
36:21
name on it. I see me on it.
36:23
I can't see anything. It's dark as shit down here.
36:28
I'm just going to reach up and pull him off my pig and mount
36:31
that pig and get out of here. He's being this pig.
36:37
We have a connection, you know. Yeah, especially you ran base
36:41
first into its ass. Smells glorious.
36:44
Oh God. You're a terrible sick man.
36:46
Yeah, he goes. Well, you hear him, Goose
36:48
sprawling across the ground. Be.
36:51
Careful down there and start. Oh, thank you.
36:53
Yeah, you're welcome. It is.
36:55
You want to you want to follow us or what?
36:58
Oh yeah. Are you sue?
37:00
I'm a tie rope around. Where are we going?
37:02
I'm. Just going to tie a rope around
37:03
him and then tie it to the pig and just get going.
37:06
Hey, give you up. Fast as possible.
37:09
Right around the Jack. Right around.
37:11
His torso just dragging him along and seen.
37:17
And seen and back to the rest of the party.
37:21
You went through the door, Yes. Yes.
37:24
But you find yourself in a decent sized room, and
37:28
definitely a room, not a cave. This was.
37:30
This is finished stone, very obviously intentionally carved.
37:34
In the middle of it is a fountain full of some kind of
37:38
black liquid. You can't really tell just from
37:40
looking at it. And around it, not really in any
37:43
kind of orderly way, are a bunch of tents.
37:47
They look really old. Some of them have holes in them.
37:50
Some of them have collapsed, fraying, just decaying.
37:54
And inside the tents and among the tents are these dried up
37:59
desiccated bodies, kind of in slumped positions or kneeling or
38:04
sitting cross legged against the wall.
38:08
Spin you too. Oh no, spin, spin, he can't.
38:12
He is very parts you. You lads go ahead, check out all
38:17
of the the the tents in the bodies and spin is going to
38:21
check out that luscious looking liquid over there.
38:24
You're very parched. Yes, do do that.
38:31
Spin gets you a drink too. Yes, Screech, it only costs you
38:34
2 silver. Keep your filthy penis tipped
38:37
feet away from my sequence. Now walk away.
38:39
All right, spin get you 2. I'm going to live the tents.
38:42
Kolnak's going to kind of look around at some of these corpses,
38:46
see if I can see any identifying if they were members of the cult
38:49
group that I'm hunting down. The tents are barely tents.
38:53
They were clearly makeshift, cobbled together with spare
38:57
ropes, some old sticks. A bunch of lean to.
39:00
Canvas. Not quite a lean to, but just.
39:04
These are not made from parts of a tent.
39:05
These are things thrown together to resemble a tent.
39:09
Gotcha. The corpses are ancient, very
39:13
thin, frail. Looking at them closer, you can
39:16
see marks of different kinds of diseases.
39:19
This one had the pox and this one had leprosy and just go down
39:24
the line and everyone here seemed to have been suffering
39:26
from something. Damn.
39:28
Well, these guys are no fucking good to us.
39:30
Let's get the fuck out of here. This man's going to step up to
39:32
the fountain and pull out one bag of sugar powder.
39:39
I still have some of the drugs. Right.
39:41
Yeah, but like. Spin has had rough day.
39:43
He needs to recoup a little bit, have a little spin time, stop
39:46
wit, get off my ass. Oh, you're right.
39:48
Sorry. I'll open the door and walk out.
39:51
Sasha, you come to a cave with a path leading between two rows of
39:56
broken statues toward a rectangular door.
39:59
Is it the only door in this? Area it is.
40:03
I'm a bust through it with my pig.
40:05
You see spin standing at a fountain with the powder.
40:09
And I've got a line already set up and then my little makeshift
40:12
canteen that I've dipped into the black liquid and set aside
40:15
next to it. And I'm rubbing my weird little
40:17
fucking hands together. I'm going to, I'm going to
40:19
fucking spin's going to lean down and get ready to snort that
40:22
that goodness up real quick. Then take a shot.
40:25
You all see Sasha riding in on Dieter the Powder Pig, and Sasha
40:30
you see spin about to hit this line, grind this rail.
40:34
Oh, hi. Oh, it's great to see you again.
40:37
Oh, hi. It's great to see anyone again.
40:40
It's really dark down here. I can't actually see you because
40:43
I'm being dragged backwards. What's going on?
40:46
I let go with the rope and I head for the door.
40:49
Which door? The one you just busted through.
40:51
There are two doors, one to the left and one to the other way.
40:55
Which door are they not behind? Well, Sven is standing in the
40:59
middle of the room next to this fountain with the powder.
41:02
I'm off to the left. He's off to the left.
41:05
I'm off to the other side. Is it like a big fountain or can
41:08
I go through the fountain? It's like, you know, comes up
41:11
into a bowl and then there's like a spout at the top and it's
41:14
just kind of spraying this black liquid out back down into the
41:17
basin. I'm going to leave my pig right
41:19
through the middle of the fountain.
41:20
Do I get to do a line before that?
41:22
Yeah. Or during that I guess.
41:27
I thought Sasha was going to go for the powder.
41:28
I did too. I don't think I need the powder
41:31
you've been. Fixing about it this whole time
41:34
I have the powder. He just has a little bit of
41:37
powder. Yeah.
41:38
I'm still looking for the cake man.
41:40
I don't need that Scooby snack. Oh my.
41:43
God, Oh my fucking God. He probably could have found
41:50
that on the floor for all I care.
41:53
Well I fucking rip a line and do a shot.
41:56
I. Have one out of eight health.
41:59
Remember, that's how you have fun kids.
42:04
You need to give me a toughness test.
42:07
That's an 18, Sir. Old you spin has been around the
42:11
block. Spin.
42:12
No soft party ass up, no one's down.
42:17
All right, so spin you get plus one to strengthen agility for 3D
42:21
10 minutes. Oh, 15 minutes.
42:25
You said you got 18, yeah so 12 plus.
42:29
Hit me with that shit bro. You feel invulnerable, ready to
42:32
take on the dying world, gain an extra D4 HP, but lose double
42:36
that amount gained if you don't take another bump on your way
42:40
down since. The last. 3.
42:46
I. Have one bag left, motherfucker.
42:48
Oh do. You now?
42:49
Yeah, well, you got 15 minutes before you have to worry about
42:52
that. Oh yeah, spin feels so good
42:58
right now. Spin could do lots.
43:00
It's been looking to have a little fun today.
43:04
What's this? Oh, a spin left present.
43:07
What's the black liquid do to me?
43:09
It tastes like water. Good.
43:11
Oh, Spin is no longer parched. I'm ready to go.
43:14
Tommy, from where you're standing in the room, you smell
43:17
something pleasant sweet coming from the doorway on that other
43:22
side that isn't left. I'm going to open the door and
43:25
see what the Hell's going on, slowly and quietly.
43:28
Doorway not there's no actual door.
43:30
On doorway. OK, well I'm going to peer my
43:31
head in slowly and quietly. You find more of those dried out
43:36
desiccated bodies and various positions in the room, but in
43:40
the center of the room there is like a little altar with a bunch
43:44
of incense burners set up on it and it's just billowing this
43:49
nice sweet smelling smoke. OK.
43:51
But there's no sign of anybody that's been in there recently.
43:55
Give me your presence test, OK? Suspect.
43:59
That's 7. Nope.
44:01
Not that I can tell, no. As far as you can see, the
44:03
incense is just kind of magically burning in there.
44:06
You don't see footprints and any dust or anything.
44:09
No signs that anyone's been through here.
44:11
I have a quick question. Would that count as like a
44:14
little break or I had some water to get some extra health or
44:16
anything? I'd call that a short break.
44:18
Deer. A drink in a bump.
44:21
What would that be? D4.
44:24
I think it's D4. OK.
44:26
I'm I'm doing OK, but if if I don't take that bump, I'm going
44:30
to be broken. Yep.
44:31
I'm going to duck my head back in.
44:33
It's like, hey, there's a fucking incense burning over
44:35
here. But I don't know, I don't see
44:37
nothing about anybody been in here any time recently.
44:41
So either it's fucking magical incense or ghosts.
44:46
I'm going to go and check it out.
44:47
It's fuck it. I'm not doing anything else here
44:49
right now. You find the same thing.
44:51
These weird desiccated bodies and this little altar burning
44:55
incense. Bizarro.
44:58
I go in the left door away from these guys.
45:01
That makes sense. You find yourself in a dining
45:04
hall with a big, long, nice wooden table set with a bunch of
45:09
place settings, and there's food on it.
45:11
But this food has clearly been here a really long time.
45:14
Some of it's dried out, some of it is mush, some of it is
45:17
rotting. It smells the exact opposite of
45:21
the room that Tommy found. Do I see another doorway or any
45:27
miscellaneous giant piles of powder?
45:31
You do not see any miscellaneous giant piles of powder.
45:34
You do see another doorway up into the right.
45:37
Does my powder pig lead me towards the powder?
45:42
He's got the nose for it. You know they find truffles.
45:44
Dieter is very interested in this rotting food that's up on
45:47
the table, but he can't quite reach, you know, to get his head
45:50
up there to get a better sniff at it.
45:52
I grabbed some for him. Is this what you want?
45:56
He chows down on it. OK, keep walking.
46:00
Find me that powder. And I smack his little ass.
46:03
And he pig gallops off along down this room 0.
46:08
My God. Did anyone else see Sasha
46:11
fucking just fly through here? She's not even going to say hi
46:14
to any of us. Yeah, I thought she, I thought
46:16
she hated all of you anyway. You are poetry of all Quillnock.
46:20
We spend friends with all of you.
46:22
We are all family now. It seems like a scam.
46:27
It seems like a scam. What'd you find in the Potpourri
46:31
room? That that's about it, yeah.
46:34
Just a potpourri, correct? Anything worse maybe taking back
46:38
selling for much over marked price?
46:41
No, let's go see where fucking Sasha went.
46:44
Fair enough, spin things that she need to just settle down.
46:47
Maybe do a bump with the old swin?
46:49
I don't know but. Well, then I guess kicked down
46:52
to her. I don't know.
46:54
Maybe I also don't want to tell her that I had to cut her pay.
47:00
Travelling with a bunch of drug users and psychopaths.
47:04
You know, it could be worse. You're right, Finn could have
47:08
been with third wife that point. Oh hey, before you guys leave
47:11
could you untie me? Still dying of here.
47:16
What the fuck is this? No, wait, I'll fucking on time.
47:20
How did you get down here, you old fuck?
47:22
Oh well, you can tell my voice is different because I got a
47:24
cold. I thought the steam down in that
47:26
cavern kind of helped loosen me up.
47:29
Yeah, How'd that work out for you?
47:30
Not great, not great, I can't lie.
47:33
Neither can spin. Do you know how to get the fuck
47:35
out of here? No.
47:36
No, I I was riding this pig and then that little guy kicked me
47:39
off, tied me up. Normally I'm kind of into it,
47:43
but. Not to do Sasha's not one for
47:46
four play. No, I can tell, right?
47:48
Very, very motivated person. I turn around and I walk towards
47:52
where the room where Sasha went in.
47:54
You find the same rotting banquet table full of horrible,
47:58
horrible food. Beautiful and another.
48:01
Door Door up to the right. Guys, there's a door.
48:07
Sasha and the the Powder Pig. I must have went it this way.
48:12
Man, follow the pig droppings. Sasha, you went into the room
48:16
first. All the rest of these rooms have
48:18
been relatively plain, kind of austere, well made, straight
48:22
lines, cleanly cut out of the stone.
48:25
But this room is draped with tapestries on the walls and nice
48:33
carpeting. And there's this great big, it
48:37
looks almost like A4 poster bed with the curtains drawn against
48:40
the far wall. And as you enter the curtains
48:44
facing you part and this long thin gangly arm kind of drops
48:50
out and you hear a voice say, does this look infected?
49:42
Hey everybody, Kevin at the end of the episode.
49:44
This episode features the adventures the Dust Funnel by
49:46
Rugos Cone and the Temple of Healing by Torthavec with Levi
49:50
playing Sasha, the sun scorched Zealot by Nick Turdijo, Thomas
49:53
playing Quill not the profane Survivor by Jared Barnes from
49:56
the cult Ossory, Jake playing Spin, the mutated goblin by Heck
50:00
and Viv, Kevin playing Tommy the shockey Skulker from Tommy Sons
50:03
an hour and Nate playing Dorian Screech.
50:05
John the narco master by Brain, right?
50:06
Check out all these cool things and the respective excliburous
50:09
morph work entries and the description accompanying this
50:11
episode. And while you're at it, check us
50:13
out on our social medias, our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
50:16
Blue Sky and Thread, and wherever you listen to podcasts,
50:20
make sure to rate, review, and share with all of your friends
50:24
so we can get out there to more people.
50:26
While we're at it, if you haven't already, please check
50:28
out our sister podcast, The World Standard.
50:31
And if you like what they're doing over there, think about
50:33
joining their Patreon. It gives you access to their
50:35
Discord, which you can talk to us as well because we're on
50:37
there. And just for $3 a month, you get
50:39
a Discord access with that. Thanks for listening and we'll
50:42
catch you guys next time. Hold on, there's deer upstairs.
50:57
That's a weird ass deer. Hey, get over here, kids.
51:03
Wow, that's a creepy ass deer. Horse disguise as a deer.
51:08
Carrots, kids. It's like a, it's like a mixture
51:12
of like Tigger and. Yeah, I don't like old wizard.
51:15
Oh, you just. It's also a pedophile for sure.
51:18
You just sparked it all neurons. Oh my God.
51:23
The wonderful thing about Tigger?
51:24
Sounds the. Only one.
51:26
It sounded. It sounded like that old man
51:30
pretending to be Tigger, and in my mind he was just breaking
51:33
bones like this guy. That's not how that works
51:37
though. I I to steal Nate's phrase, I
51:41
hate all this. Yeah, yeah.
51:43
Thank you. You did a swan dive like 2
51:49
episodes ago. Perfect.
51:51
Swan dive, OH. That's right.
51:53
He was showing us your. Butt hole, Was that a thing?
51:57
I made that part. Yeah, it was lifeguard.
52:01
Spin. Spin used to be lifeguard, yes.
52:03
Spin has to blow up butthole, make you breathe again, no?
52:07
Wrong. That's not what was happening.
52:09
That's. Not how that works.
52:10
Spin was too bad. How does that work?
52:12
No. Spin this, doctor.
52:15
Finn went to medicine school. But the school for medicines?
52:21
Finn play with many needle. That's way more believable.