Latest / Drawn of History / A Mall Cop _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _518(M4A_128K)

Transcript

A Mall Cop _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _518(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I got a few tour dates to tell you about Wallingford, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Bangor, Maine, Moncton, Canada,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Las Vegas, Nevada. We'll be back for the USC LSU
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: football weekend. Oklahoma City, Northern Little Rock, Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Wisconsin, Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: You can get tickets for those. at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your support. Today's guest served
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: 10 years as a mall cop. You know who I'm
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: talking about, that fella that's just looking all beast mode
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: outside of the Cinnabon, baby. You know what I'm talking about.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: That Build-A-Bear badass, baby. Mall coppin'. We get into it all,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the stories, the stealing, the sex. Yeah. Grateful for his time,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: today's guest is mall cop Gus Parsons.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: my story. Shine on me. And I will find a
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: song I can sing.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Gus Parsons, thanks for coming in, man. Hey, I'm glad
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: to be here, bro. You've worked in security for 20 years, right?
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Mall cop. Mall cop. For 10 years. 10 years. Wow.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Did my tour. Did you? Yeah, it was great. And
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: how do you get into mall copping? Basically, zero education,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: no goals in life. Really?
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: No, it's just one of those things that kind of
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: just happens. I started off doing other security jobs. And
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: then it just turns into like, hey, I need a
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: job and a full-time job at that. And mall security
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: is usually one of those ones like, hey, man, can
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: you breathe? I'm like, yes, fully functional. And they're like,
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: you're hired. So that's how I got into it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Was your father in mall copping? No, I'm not. My
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: dad was actually a bus driver. Oh, he was? Yeah.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: That's cool, man. I've ridden on buses, and I like it.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, the fact of us wearing uniforms in the family,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: that's a thing. Oh, it is. Yeah, not military. You know,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: bus drivers, security guards.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So you get a job at the mall, right? So
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: where's the first mall you clock in at? The first
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: one I ever did? Yeah.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: It was called Horton Plaza. It was downtown San Diego.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: No longer there, rest in peace. But it was a
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: three-story mall. Had the theater down there. Had all the
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: kids hung out there at the time because the buses
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: went and connected all through there.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Who told you to get a job as a mall cop?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Did you just.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: myself honestly yeah i wasn't into the whole labor thing
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: you know i did the little side jobs building swimming
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: pools um just being out in the sun stuff.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't mean being out in the sun like what hitchhiking.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Or whatever yeah you know it's a hard job no
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: you know just like labor you know like hard labor
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: you know yeah digging and trenches and like i said
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: digging swimming pools and stuff it just i'm too fat
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: for stuff like that so when i got into like
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: the mall cop thing it was kind of supposed to
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: be a lazy job for me and it definitely wasn't
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: a lazy job for me because.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I still come from the era of chasing people down.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: And that used to be fun. What, as a mall cop,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: you mean? Yeah, yeah. Well, first of all, what is
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: the training like?
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, here's the mall. Here's the clock in. Like I said,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: you can still breathe, right? I'm like, yeah, okay.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Well, you're fully functional, you know? Training with that, it's
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: just more like- But there's no like, you don't have
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to have a 40 time. You don't have to have
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: like a, there's not like a- Physical requirements to be
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: a mall cop. No. They actually will give you a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: segue if you can't meet the physical requirements. Yeah. Like, oh,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: you can't walk that fast? Well, here's some mobile wheels,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: you know? Like, here you go.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: That Paul Blart shit's real. It's very much real. Like,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: a lot of people make fun of it and stuff.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, actually, those are for the mall cops who
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: can't get physical.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: And that's embarrassing. I've gotten on those things and actually
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: chased people as a joke.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, they're stealing. I'm like, oh, watch this.
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: It's embarrassing for them. They're running through the mall, and
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: you're just like coasting along.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. That look right there. Well, segues are so
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: ridiculous because every time you're talking to a guy on
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: a segue, he's like, all right, man, I'll see you
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: guys later. And then he just takes it. He's just
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: like fucking. Or you get those real professional ones and
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: do the full spin on you, and they're just like. Yeah,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: all that like. But the training-wise, man, it's not much.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: So there's no training. So there's no like. But there's
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: not like where there's. boot camp or anything like that?
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Not no more. Okay. I think that was a seventies
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: security guards. I used to learn from those tough guys.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Did you? Oh yeah. Punch them in the face. I'm like, well,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: we can do that. Like we're not cops.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I'm like, when you find out as a security guard
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: that you're not a cop and things change, you're like, Oh,
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: I can do some shit now.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: But that was back in the day.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Now you just have to kind of watch them steal
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: and run off out the mall.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And you're like, Hey, well, what do you mean when
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: you watch them, when you see them Like late.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Okay, so as of like the past 10 years now,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: you know, everyone's got cell phones and a stick up
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: their ass. So it's like, hey, I'm trying to steal
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: from your store. Don't touch me. So now some guy
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: won a case, I don't know, however many years ago.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Now it's like, you can't chase them. You can't touch them.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: You just have to kind of monitor their stealing. Like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: hey man, put that Gucci belt in that pocket. It's showing,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: you know, like you got to kind of escort them
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: out the mall. So what do you, but do you,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: can you even, what's your, what do you used to
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: be like?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Stop, fucker. Yeah. Can you even do that?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: No, you can't even say that. You can't say fucker.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: You just say fucker, fucker, you know, like you say, stop.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: They're like, Hey, you can't tell me what to do.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: I identify as go, you know?
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Oh shit. You know? So there's no training.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. So there's no training. Do you shadow anybody
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: when you first start? Like, yeah, you'll go in, you'll
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: shadow a couple of the guys that have been there
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: a while. They'll show you what stores to stay away from,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: what stores are cool. Um, more or less just doing
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: the whole rounds.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: A lot of time you would have, some malls would
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: make you like scan in every 10 minutes through the place.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: But then we just kind of figured out if you
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: just took a picture and then went to the copy
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: place and made copies of those and had a sheet,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: you can just sit in the office and scan those
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: things if nobody's watching.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: So as soon as your shadow leaves, that was pretty
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: much it. Oh, so you're saying like a QR code? Yeah.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Like at each place you'd have to scan as you're
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: moving around the mall?
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so every day you'd have to go and check
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: in like, oh, I'm at the Baby Gap, you know, here.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: And then you just have to keep checking in as
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: you go through the mall to make sure that you've
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: secured the whole.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Place, stuff like that. Like I'm at Baby Gap, I'm
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: at Bed Bath & Beyond, I'm at Rocco's Tacos or whatever,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and just around the bend. Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: So we just take a picture of the barcode, send
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: it to our email, put all the barcodes on a sheet,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: printed it, and then we had it in the office.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: So you could just sit there and just scan it
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: every few minutes?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we put, like, timers on our cell phones and stuff, like, hey,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: how long do you think it would take us to
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: get from here to here?
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: One guy was an idiot. He would scan them all
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: in a row.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: And one time our supervisor came in and was like, hey, speedy.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Like, how are you doing this? And he's like, and
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: we got caught a little bit, but yeah. Wow, that's
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: a good hack, bro. Yeah, we had a lot of
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: hacks at the mall. Did y'all? Hell yeah. When you
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: pull up, so when you start, when you first start there,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: what other, were there like old heads working there? Like
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: what are the different types of mall cops? Oh man, okay, so.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: You got your, you got your pant booters. We call
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: them pant booters. Those are the security guards who did
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: not make it as a cop. Their uncle or their
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: step-uncle was a cop. So they wanted to be a cop.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: So they come in, they got the whole vest on.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Everything's tucked in nice. They got their pants tucked into
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: their boots. You know, they're ready for combat. And it's like, bro, it's,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: it's a mall job, you know? So you got that guy. And,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: and I will tell everyone that, you know, that guy,
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: we all work with that guy. Um, Then sometimes you
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: get the little thug dudes that are just like hanging
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: around just because they need a job. And that's not,
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm not being discriminative, but that's it's very true.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: We get a lot of little thug guys that do security.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: It's great because they're the ones usually bring the weed
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: for us, you know. So it's always like, fuck, yeah,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: love you guys. So those guys are usually ones like,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: you know, and that's not a race. That's just the
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: little ghetto guys that always come. They don't do their job.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Shirts untucked. They're like, eh, we just do the bare minimum.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: If there's someone stealing, let us know.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, those guys always look like they're going to get
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: some girl pregnant. Or they already have. The girl from
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Cinnabon's usually pregnant. Is she? Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. It's
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: in the oven, baby. Hell yeah, both the bun and that.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Two buns going at once. Drizzle it. Okay, and so
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: those are the main two types of cops. Do you
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: feel like the mall cops?
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: And then there's just the average Joe. Like, I would
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: have put myself in the average Joe category, like, You know,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: just the dad who just needs a job. But there's
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: that guy. There's the real Paul Blart kind of type.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: You know, like no girlfriend, no wife, you know, lives
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: at home with mom, can't wait to go play video
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: games type guy, you know. Like almost like the guy
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: that never left the mall in a way.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: He grew up in the mall and was like, I'm
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: going to get a job here, you know. I'm going
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: to stay here. Yeah, malls are awesome. I'm getting that
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: 10% discount. Malls are awesome, dude. I remember in our,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: we used to go to Slidell, Louisiana. They had a
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: mall there. Bring it up. See if it's there. Just
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: see some images of it. And they. So this is
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: a North Shore square mall. Yeah. The doors we go in, dude.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And we camp. They let you camp right outside by
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: the parking lot, like in the medians. So we get
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: dropped over there on Saturday. We'd hang out at the
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: mall and then we'd sleep in our tents. And then
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Sunday we'd go back into the mall, dude. And they
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: had a church service in there too, and we could
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: just go do it all. right there. Get you, yeah,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: some lunch, get you on some of those little shaker
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: chairs that, you know. I loved when those first came out.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I was there for that. Like I was there for
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: that evolution of the mall chair. Were you? Yeah. They
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: just popped up one day. We're like, what in the
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: lazy is this? You know, like, yeah, great.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: So all of us would be on our break just like,
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: if I can vibrate now. I'm like, you can't do that.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, shit, if I can. It only costs a dollar.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, whisper something nasty to me. Segway. What was the
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: uniform like that you guys had? It was just a
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: basic cop knockoff. I refused to wear the Mount Me hats.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: What is it? The Mountie hats. Oh, Mountie hats. Yeah,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: we call them Mount Me hats. Oh, yeah.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: But no, some malls will literally make you wear a
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Mountie hat. And it's like, why? Like, we're in the
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: fucking mall.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: We're not like. Who are y'all? Yeah, like, I don't
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: know if you get. Yeah, see? Like, that's literally how
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of mall cops will. Yeah. Why do they
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: even make y'all look like that? I have no idea.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: That's one of the most ridiculous things. Whoever did that,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: you really hate all of us. Yeah.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: Whoever, like, because there's an ultimate mall cop out there
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: who's just like, I'm going to make this the worst
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: uniform ever.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: And. It's funny, because you get those little ghetto dudes,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: they come in and they're like, yeah, I'm here to work.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: And you're like, okay, well, put on your little Mountie hat.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, shit, you know? Why is the hat?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Do you think it's just so people know immediately who
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: is there to help them if they need it? I suppose,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: but it's just more of like a target.
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like we're already getting called rent-a-cops and
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: everything else in the book.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's like, sorry. I'm shit. I don't
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: give a fuck. Yeah, I don't care. Me neither. But
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I've been called f * * ks all the time. Oh, yeah,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: but now they're like, oh, look at this f *
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: * k in that hat. Yeah, and you're like, f
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: * * k, man. I could have just took it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: You're like, f * * k, we were good. Now
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: the hat. F * * k me. And it's like,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: you can't even deny that. You could argue back with like, well,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: you're a f * * k. Well, look at your shoes.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And then all he has to do is go, you
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: have a Mount Me hat on. Yeah, you're a Canadian
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: f * * k. And then on top of it,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: here's the worst part. Some malls will do the stripes
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: and like, I've been here for two years. I got
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: a stripe.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I got me a little lieutenant stripe. It's like, lieutenant
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: of what? The fucking food court? Who cares? But those
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: are some of the malls. I've dealt with a few malls,
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: and one of the malls I had to deal with,
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: the Mount Me Hats and the stripes. They give you
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: stripes for how many years you've been there?
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Wow.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and one guy had like six. I was like,
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: you need a fucking life, brother. All decorated, looked like
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: a general and shit. He's serious, huh? And then- He
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: was the one on the Mountie hat who had, like,
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: if you look at him, they have, like, these little, like,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: ropes or something that's on.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know what they're actually called. His was gold. Like,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: everyone had black ones. They were gray hats with black.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: He had to have a gold robe. Because he was
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: the leader or something? He was just there. He wasn't
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: even the supervisor. He was just there the longest.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: It's like, okay, like, you know. And four, yeah. And
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: what kind of tactical gear do you guys have? Um.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: It depends on how they want you dressed. I've had
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: to do the whole get up to where I've been
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: an armed security guard. So I've had to wear guns
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: and stuff and the holsters and bulletproof vests and all
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: that just because of what was going on in the situation.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: And those are fun. It's fun to dress up like G.I.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Joe because, you know, I'm 45. So it's like I
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: get to play out a little kid fantasy. I'm like, man,
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: I kind of want to do this when I was
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: a kid. And I'm just like, yeah, fuck yeah, you know,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: all teched up. When I worked dispensaries, I used to
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: work a lot of dispensaries the past 10 years too,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: we were all teched up and tacked out and looking
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: like SWAT and shit until the real cops came and
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: they're like, what are you doing playing dress up?
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: You know. Wait, are mall cops allowed to carry weapons?
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: At one point we were, and then one point we
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: were not. We were allowed to carry batons and what,
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: pre-rolls or whatever?
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, basically. It's like, It's either I'm going to beat
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: you or here, smoke this, you know, fuck. But you
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: guys had a baton?
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Like my era was like the last era of being
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: able to carry a baton.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And what's funny in California, like say you fucking come
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: running out and I have a gun and a baton.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: If I shoot you in the leg, I'm good. If
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I hit you with that baton, LA riots all over. There, see? Wow.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: The baton, was it heavy? Oh yeah, it's about an
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: eight pound stick.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: There were some guys that would actually teach you how
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: to use the baton and stuff, and it's like, they
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: get you on this wrist thing and bend you all up,
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: and you're like, oh shit, can I just hit him
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: with it, you know?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, nah, you have to use it tactically. That's
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: what they said? Did you ever get to hit somebody
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: with it? I threw somebody one time. Yeah. Yeah, it
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: was like right out of the fucking movies, too. You
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: hit him? In the legs, and he tripped and he fell,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: and we beat the shit out of him. It's okay?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, that was a long time ago. How long
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: ago was it? Oh shit, January, no, uh, Shit, early.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: 20s, so like 2020 or 2003, maybe something like that.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: What's the statute of limitations on that, do you think?
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Mall abuse or whatever. Non-sexual. Those are the best, though.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Ten years. You're good. You're good, dude.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: So I threw this baton at this guy, right? Now,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: he was running out the store. Somebody's like, hey, you know, thief,
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: and I was like, And I swear to you, I
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: don't know what movie clicked in my head. I was like,
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: grab your baton, throw it. I just threw it.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: And I said, and it made the little noise and
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: everything clipped him in the leg. He tripped. And I
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: was like, like in my, in my soul, I was like,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I fucking did it. And by the time I realized
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: that my guys were already on, I'm like, yeah, that
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: was awesome. But yeah, you do that now. You're going like,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: as a security guard, you might go to jail. Yeah.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: That sucks. Well, now it's so crazy. Literally, a thief
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: can be like, watch this asshole security guard try to
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: stop me from getting what I need. And you're like,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: you just totally rephrased stealing. Right. Okay. And why are
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: you fucking filming this? Like, yes, things have definitely gotten
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: really ridiculous out there. That's for sure, man. So outside
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: of the baton, did you guys, was there a taser ever?
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Was there any smoke screens or smoke... bombs or flares
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: or baby flares or anything like that.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Not smoke bombs we used fart bombs really yeah we
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: are the little like uh fart ones if if the
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: crowd was like too much we like it wasn't a
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: legal tactical move old school move but instead.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Of like you know like hey everyone clear out we
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: wouldn't say shit just throw one of those fart things
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: on the ground or.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Something it was all the stink bombs they're called stink
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: bombs we throw a stink bomb on the ground cleared
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: not a word not a fucking word out of our mouth.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: And were those government issued or whatever.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: No those were out of the ice cream uh truck
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: on the way to work oh they sold them there
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: oh yeah the ice cream oh yeah you're like let
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: me get a bubble gum ice cream and some stink
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: bombs those are the good ice cream trucks when they
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: had the cap gun still.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: You know gang yeah i didn't know they had all
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: of that yeah we just got the sweets or whatever
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: i don't think ours had um kind of a um
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: you know violence section or whatever semi-violence um This security
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: guard filmed all his farts for six months. You ever
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: meet him? No, but damn, where's he at? That's a goal.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go seven.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: He got fired for it.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Paul Flart, he called himself. Why would he get fired?
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know. You can't fart anymore. You kidding? You
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: can't do anything, man. He really did. Oh, yeah. By
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: the way, this is that dad I'm talking about that works.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I love this dude. His hair. His hair and his mustache.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: One cool thing about a ball is, though, honestly, it's
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: got the perfect acoustics. It really does. For a fart
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to just rock the frickin' Casbah in there.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Especially if you have, like, that back alley of, like,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: behind the stores where you do all the deliveries.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: You can get some good echoes in there. Oh.
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: It's a real farter's paradise back in there. So take
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: me on a typical mall shift, man. You get there, you...
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Get there, clock in, um... Clock in, usually take a
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: shit or go smoke because we don't do that for free.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: You have to do that on the clock. You got
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: to get paid. Did you have a strategy meeting or
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: anything like that?
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a little powwow. All right, guys, you know, we're
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: going to have a good day today. Get out there
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: and do your job. Our powwows for model security wasn't
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: that much.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Really? Is there ever any intel that comes in that's like, hey,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: we got this to worry about or there's like a
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: drug group passing through?
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes we would get like a stack of papers
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: on our thing. And there'll be like pictures of like
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: some random Asian dude stealing like cologne or some shit.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: And you're like, watch out for him. And you're like, okay.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: And you know, you never see him ever because he
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: already done stole. So there are those moments though, where
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: you get like a paper and you're like, Hey, uh,
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: mall's most wanted or something.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: And he walks by you and you're just like, fuck. Yeah.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: You know, this is my moment right here. Really? Yeah.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: And then like take me on one of those kind of.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: So you like, okay.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: So sometimes they'll make a big deal out of it. Like, Hey,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: there's a small guy.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: He's going around. He's stealing a bunch of shit. Here's
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: pictures of them, okay? Like the wet bandits or whatever. Hell, yeah.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Shout out wet bandits. But something like that, you know
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? Like a guy that's made a name
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: for himself.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Props stealing from malls. Yeah, we had one guy who
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: was– I bring up the cologne thing because he was
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: actually a cologne thief. He would steal all the samples
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: without the lids and shit. So he would get all
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: these samples and just run off. but we got.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Sample baby huh he was asian yeah oh god he
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: was yeah i actually bought some from him after the
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: fact seen him on some stolen ones from him yeah
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: and they're only 15.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: Bucks i seen him on the trolley i was like
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: hey dude were you the one stealing cologne he's like
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: yeah which one do you want i was like fuck
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: man let.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Me get that ck1 He came on wasn't too bad, huh? No,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: it wasn't. Not at all. God, they had some good
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: colognes back then. I remember they had Aqua. Acqua Di Gio.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Acqua Di Gio, dude. I'm actually wearing the black Acqua
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Di Gio right now. Really? Yes, sir. They came out
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: with black?
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: It was a darker little bottle or something.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude. Yes, sir. That one right there. That fourth
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: one right there. I felt I just was always so
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: ashamed of myself as a child. I never felt like
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I deserved to smell good.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: No?
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You even wear cool water? No cool water was for
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: brothers or kids that were fucking, you know, I wasn't
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: wearing that. What would I wear? I would sometimes get
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: some old spice from my dad. And then I would
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: also put like, um, what would I do? I would
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: rub like, uh, what was it that had kind of deodorant?
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I would just put deodorant on the outside of my
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: arms or like right here or whatever. Cause my mom
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: taught us, you know, we watched our mom do perfumes
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Um, Okay, so you're at work. You guys
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: have had a strategy meeting, right? Yeah, we got the paper.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: We see, we'll just use, we'll say Bobby Lee stole
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: some fucking colognes. We're like, all right, cool. Bobby Lee's
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: the fucking guy. Herbs, is there a term y'all use?
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: This fucking guy. Yes, man. This fucking guy, man. We're
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: going to get him.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: No, we didn't, like, a lot of us didn't try
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: to use the whole cop terms and stuff like that
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: because then you kind of look like the douchebag, you know?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: So we just leave it to the guy who tucks
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: his pants in his boots. Like, the perp is here.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: It's like, Bobby Lee is here, and that's all it is,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: So literally the one day that the perp walked by,
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I kind of was like, holy shit, this is him,
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: That's him.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: So I radioed it in, you know, did my whole
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: gus to the headquarters, and they're like, what's up? I'm like, yo,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: Bobby Lee's here. And they're like, no shit. I'm like, yeah,
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: why don't you come here? So they started watching him
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: on the camera. We started following him and they're like,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: just let him steal first. And this was back in
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: the day of like, we can touch you, grab you,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: throw you, you know? So we followed him into like,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I think it was Macy's and he walked right into
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Macy's and he had no hesitation. He started grabbing clone
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: and to start putting it in his belt.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: And you're watching him? Yeah. From how far away? Like
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: where are you guys strategically located somewhere? Um, I actually
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: took my shirt off because I just wore Dickies. So
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys know what Dickies are.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: They're just black pants. Totally, dude. Yeah, so I just
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: wore Dickies. Mexican freaking wedding wear. Yeah.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: So as soon as I took that off, I was
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: just white shirt and Dickies looked like I was from
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: San Diego, you know?
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: So I was walking by. And he's doing his thing, man.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So you were undercover pretty much. Yeah.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I did a lot of undercover work at the mall.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: Take your shit off. You just look like an SA
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: from MS. And he's like, good to go. And so
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I see him. He's stealing the shit. And I call
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: back and I said, What are we doing? He goes,
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: grab him. Fucking just grab him.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: We grab him. Who grabs him? You? I grab him. No,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I grab him. Okay, well, take me in.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: You're making the move on him. Did he see you coming?
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: Did he come in from the back? He actually saw
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: me walk by. He kind of gave me a nod.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: And I was like, because I gave him the look like, hey, man,
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: steal that shit, bro.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Right on.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: You know, like, keep going. I never was like, I
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: would never give myself away. So I walked around. And
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: as soon as they said, grab him, I literally just
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: walked up, grabbed him by the shoulder and said, Hey man,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: you're coming with me. You know, I gave him the whole, like,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: you're coming with me.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Cause it was my first time actually just like apprehending
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: somebody in the act. And how long have you been
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: a mall cop at that point? So you got to
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: apprehend this guy? Probably about three years. And wow. So
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I was just waiting. It was my moment. Waiting to
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: grab this fucking guy. Snatched him up. Hey man, you're
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: coming with me. That's what you said. I was like,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Hey man.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, Hey man, you're coming with me. The whole,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: like the whole, just nine, you know, so you come
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: with me, lift it up. I was like, what do
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: you think you're doing? And he's like, he just looked
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: up and goes, Oh, I'm sorry. But you put them
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: on the ground. Yeah, I tripped him on his leg
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: because we were backing up and he was trying to
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: lead forward. And any type of movement you do away
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: from me, you're resisting. We're fucking going down. So as
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: soon as I pulled him back and he went a
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: little forward, I just snatched his leg. We went down.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I think one of the bottles broke because it just
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: started smelling like fucking cologne badly.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Guilty.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Literally, I was like, oh, shit.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: It's because when we were in the office writing him
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: up and the cops were coming, he just smelled like
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: whatever cologne broke on him.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Everybody in there smelled, yeah. Like aftershave or whatever.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: But it was literally one of my best moments as
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: a mall cop just because I was like, I got him.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: I saw the picture. And within an hour, there he was.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: And I was like, my fucking golden goose, you're mine.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? So it was good. I
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: loved it. Now, you didn't have to go prosecute?
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: You have to do a citizen's arrest. You do a
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: citizen's arrest. Um, you do all that. So you guys
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: take him where? So you guys take him into the
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: back room. Do you have him wrapped up or tied up? No,
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: we just, uh, uh, put a zip tie on his hand.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: I had these big ass industrial zip ties and we
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: usually used to leave.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Them on this hook.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: We never used them. Um, we only used them if
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: we brought somebody into the office that needed one. So
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: I was like, Hey man, stick your hands out. And
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: then he's like, he looked at me. He's like, Oh shit.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah. And I was like, are they too tight?
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: And he goes, no. I'm like, and I zipped them
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: a little bit more cause I didn't want him, you know,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: it's like, fuck them, you know? Oh, that's crazy when
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: you're asking if they're too tight. It's obvious that, yeah.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: It's like a little tighter, won't you?
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: He felt some shame that day, and I was just like,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: the clone bandit was mine. We never saw him again.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: And do you then turn him over to the police?
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: What's that like? That's the lame part. You got to
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: call them, and it's like they're not rushing to come
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: handle this. So nine times out of ten, you're sitting
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: there with Bobby just shooting shit for like two hours. So, man,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: why do you steal? And then by the time you've already, like,
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: counseled him, you want to let him go. I actually
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: wanted to let him go. But it was already in, like,
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: we were already in motion when I was like, bro,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: you fucked up. You know, like, I already had to
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: fuck you up. And now the cops are coming. The
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: first 10 minutes, it was like, they're coming to get you, man.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: You're so fucked.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: You know, 20 minutes in, it's like, are you thirsty, man? Yeah.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: You know, so literally cops took about two hours to
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: get there. And by the time they got there, they're like,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: all right, so what's going on? It's like, oh, this
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: guy was stealing, blah, blah, blah. He's the clone bandit.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: You know, we got, he's like, okay, so come with us.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: And then that was it. It was like, there was
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: no fireworks at the end of this show. You know,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: it was, it was pretty, that's why I said, it's
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: pretty lame when you call them to come take them away.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Cause it's like, you want them to drag them out
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: and beat the shit out of them too.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: You know, just give them a little extra. Fuck them.
• 26:24
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• 26:27
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• 26:34
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  Speaker 1: talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers
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• 29:14
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• 29:18
  Speaker 1: do that anymore. ZocDoc. And so should you. So stop
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: putting off those doctor's appointments. And go to ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com
• 29:28
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• 29:34
  Speaker 1: That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash T-H-E-O, ZocDoc.com. slash Theo. And then what about, like,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: what is y'all's relationship with the cops like, you know?
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: They didn't like us too much just because we were
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: a waste of their time, you know, calling them for
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: stupid shit, stealing and all that. Because if you catch somebody,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: like back then, if you caught somebody, you had to
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: hold them. You know, it's different now. You don't even
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: call the cops nowadays. I don't even know what the
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: fuck they're doing now. But they had that entitlement because
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: we are cops. Oh, they show up like your big dogs?
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Do they look at you? Yeah. What's you guys' relationship like?
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Is it simpatico or no? It was just like those movies.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: What does simpatico mean? Do you know? No, I actually don't. Yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: look it up real quick. Do you mind? Kind of
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: threw me off on that one. Sorry. No, you're good.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I thought it was Spanish. Likeable and easy to get
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: along with. Okay. No, we didn't definitely get along.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: It was, like, out of those movies, you know, when, like,
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: the detectives are all sitting, like, so, like, the regular
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: cops are there.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: So, say, we're the regular cops. We got it going on.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: It's our area.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: And then the FBI walks in. They're like, all right, guys,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: we're taking over. Go handle the perimeter type shit. And
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: that was our relationship with them. It was always, like,
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: it wasn't too much, like, oh, man, thanks.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: A lot, guys, for doing your job and, you know,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: defending our country at the mall and shit. It was
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: just more like. Fuck what, man? Like I was not
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: doing anything. Now I'm doing something at the mall. Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like, and I actually had a cop
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: tell me one time, this motherfucker, I forget his name.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: I had to give him a whole description of what
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: was going on. And the problem was, is we didn't
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: even have the guy. We had to just give a
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: description of the guy who stole and the things he
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: did to the car. Cause he poured like some bleach
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: on a car, some, some dumb shit. So we're giving
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: him all this description and he literally turns at me
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: and goes, Yeah, if I wanted to be a mall cop,
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: I would have been a mall cop and walked away.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, man. And what was he having issues?
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: You guys were having issues with communication? No, he just.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: The list of shit that I was giving him, it
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: just got too long for him. He was like, okay,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: so yeah, I get it, I get it. So what
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: was he wearing? And I was like, I told you
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: that in the beginning. I was like, you could have
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: cut that conversation off when you found out he was 5'2.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like, but... But some of it has
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: got to be crazy.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Like, you got.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: You know, you have a Chinese guy or whatever pinned
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: up against the wall for like, you know, getting a
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: pair of loafers or whatever. And then the cop has
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: to come. He's like, what the fuck are we doing
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: down here? Yeah. Trust me. We, we were not on
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: their radar of crime. You know, I feel like they
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: wouldn't keep, they wouldn't clue you guys in like what
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: was going on in the community and stuff.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: No, we didn't get no, no updates or nothing like that. Like, no,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: they were like, there's like, we would know if there's
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: a piss in the area or anything or anything like that.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: No, fuck. They didn't care about us, you know? And,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: You would think they would tell you if there was
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: a racist somewhere because, I mean, first of all, one
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: of the few places that everybody kind of goes sometimes
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: is the mall, right? Pretty much. If you're a racist,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: you still go to the mall. You have to. You
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: have to buy clothes. Everybody goes, you know? So it's
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: like that's the kind of shit to me. It's like
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: you think you give those guys at least just information
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: because they're just standing around all day.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: A lot of cops will use our parking lots for
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: the hangout. You ever seen where, like, two cop cars, like,
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: face each other?
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: That was our, like, and you can't go near them.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: You can't go, hey, Jim, what's going on? They're like,
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: fuck away from us.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: It was weird. Like, they had this, like, whole bubble
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: around them because they would always park in our parking lots. Yeah.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Every mall I've ever worked at, there's always a pair
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: of cops that will do the whole facing each other, like,
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: you know, shit.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Two cops touching fronts or whatever. Tip to tip.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I love it. You know, you just, fuck yeah, guys.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: But they didn't want us coming near them. We were
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: never allowed to talk to them or anything. So we
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: would just let them be in their little bubble.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: What type of overall crime goes down at the mall?
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Like what type of crime are we talking about? A
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: lot of stealing. Really? A lot of stealing, of course.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: And do you see people steal sometimes? Like you'll see them?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Can you tell after a while? Anybody could be a thief.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Anybody can be a thief.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: Man, I've seen moms, you know, stick shit in kids'
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: backpacks on camera.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? Anybody
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: can be a thief.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: I've seen a group of sweet old Mexican ladies, and
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: they're inviting you over for.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Dinner and shit and this and that and the other,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: and you turn around and they're stealing the fucking car.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: You're like, whoa. Anybody can steal from the mall. Vandalism. Uh,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: that's not, that's not really like a everyday crime.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: It's more of a crime when someone like gets thrown
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: out of a store and you want to like break
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: their door, kick their windows in and shit. Thinking you
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: did something to a corporate company who's got millions of dollars. Like, well,
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: I broke your a hundred dollar window.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: It's like, all right, cool. We're just going to replace that.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: You know, those are the crimes that we get at, uh,
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: at the mall sometimes, uh, fights fights are good.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah. Mall fights are good. Do people go to
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: the mall to fight? You mean meeting at the mall
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: to fight?
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Or you're saying just things happen at the mall and
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: a fight happens? Like gang versus gang, you know. Really? Oh, yeah.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Where at? Where was this at? Down in San Diego.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: In San Diego. Yeah, yeah. Back in the day, like,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: malls were always, like, where everyone just conjured up.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: You know, all the gangs, all the crews, everyone, like,
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: after school or the ditch parties would go there.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: And some groups just didn't get along, you know. And.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Next thing you know, you got this big fun riot
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: brawl in the middle. And back then, you were allowed
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: to get in it and fight with them and throw
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: down and stuff.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And those were fun. Really? Yeah. Yeah, here's a mall.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: These are kids. Yeah, this is a lot of kids
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: off of school. These kids nowadays, man, they're ruthless. They're sick.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: I was working at a high-end department store, and this
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: kid literally walked right up to me. He goes, do
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: you work for the store or the mall? And I
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: was like, why? And I could already tell he's about
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: to steal all these Gucci belts.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why?
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: He goes, cause if you work for the store, you
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: can't touch me. And if you work for the mall,
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: you can't chase me. And I was like, fuck bro.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Like it's all you then, you know, fucker stole belts
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: right in front of me. I was like, get out
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: of here, man. Like, cause you can't do anything. Does
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: it piss you off?
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: A little bit. Just, It feels disrespectful. Yeah, like right
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: in your face, and you're like, that's trash. It's like,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: fuck you, you little fucker. That's trash. Just because you
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: can't afford the belt, you know. You don't come here
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: to steal. It's just kind of, and also then if
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: you're stealing something that's just a good, and it's not
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: like a, it's a want, right? It's not a need
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: or something or a snack or something like that. Milk,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: bread or something, oysters like that. Then you're not, you're,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: it's your own choice at that point, you know. Pretty much.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: It's not you like, needing to survive, you know? You
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: don't need a Gucci belt to fucking pay, you know? Yeah,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: you can't eat a Gucci belt, man. Who's at the
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: mall anymore, and how has that changed over time?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. So, from the early 2000s till now, it's
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: definitely a huge change. Everyone back then went to the mall,
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: no matter what.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, you had the grandma, like, in the morning,
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: in the beginning of the morning, if you find the
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: right mall, like, I worked at a mall in Minnesota once,
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: And that mall had like little mile markers through it.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: And you get the whole old person group coming out
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: and do their power walking and shit.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: And so those are the days where you would see
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: that transition about 9, 10 a.m.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Where all the old people leave.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: And then you get the adults coming in, you know,
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: like get the sales and shit. And then once noon hit,
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: if it's a weekend, then the kids start piling in.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: It's fucking, you know, the mall was functional back then.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: Like people watching was fun fucking back then. You know,
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: like it was fun to watch. Now- I feel like
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: nobody cool goes to the mall. And it's not like
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying it like that. It's just like you
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: go to the mall now for direct service. You're like,
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: all right, I'm going to here to get this, and
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: I'm leaving. A lot of people don't hang out at
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: the mall no more. It's not like let's go to
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: fucking Cinnabon and grab us some Wetzel's pretzels. Shout out
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: to Wetzel's pretzels, by the way. By the way, if
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: you notice, Wetzel's pretzels you can only find in a mall,
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I swear.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah. Think about it. Yeah. That's cool. Wow. Mall food. Yeah,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: mall food is definitely something. Yeah, dude, the mall was
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: such a place. I mean, we would sleep overnight outside
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: of there. Hell yeah. We would– yeah, your friends, you'd go.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I remember during summer camp, one of our field trips
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: would be to the mall. We'd all go to the mall.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: People would wish in the fountains that we're at the mall,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: you know. They'd have– Yeah, what else would we do there?
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: You're just going to see the different stores, walking down
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: the mall. You stop at that candy store that had
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: all the different candies. You go in the Bed Bath
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: & Beyond or the candle store and do that.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: The Disney store. The Disney store. The fucking Disney store.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: That shit was fucking clutch. Mexicans love that store too, eh?
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah. Why, bro? Why though, really? I liked it, bro.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: It's not racist if it's true and I stick by this.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: If you can't afford to go to Disneyland, then the
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: Disney store was the next best thing. They had little
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: fucking things. I love the Disney.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Store, man. The Disney store was so good, bro. The
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: original Disney store.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: They still have them. But the OG Disney stores, when
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: they were like, hi, welcome in. And Tinkerbell would come
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: flying by. And you're like, fuck it.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I'm here. Dude, you're right, bro. There was nothing like
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: that Disney store. We used to get. Um, they used
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: to have like the shirts with the characters coming out
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: of the pocket. Goofy would hang off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: That was a big thing, man. I remember I'd get
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: my siblings Christmas gifts and stuff from there. A lot
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: of times nightgowns or something. You could get your sister
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: like something she wanted, you know. Oh, dude, yeah. Hey,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: no bullshit. One time, me and my friend Young Dave.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Shout out, Young Dave. Love you. YKD, Young King Dave.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Not that guy that died from smoking weed, huh? No, no, no.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I heard about that.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Young King Dave, bring him up. Pull up young King Dave, bro. R.I.P., dude.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: Smoking big doinks. He died from smoking weed, huh? Yeah, yeah.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: He smoked a joint backwards or something, and he had
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: asbestos or whatever, and it killed him. What? Dave James,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: young King Dave Nixon, passed away at 19. Where was
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: he always smoking out? This is years ago. His manager,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Chris Clemenza. I used to message with him for a while, bro.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: I was a big fan of him. Oh, wow. Smoking
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: big doinks out in where, did he say? Oh, yeah.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Play the audio. Out here in Amish, smoking big doinks
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: in Amish. Fuck yeah.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Big old doinks.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: He'd be smoking big doinks out there in Amish, dude,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: and he'd get, um, and he died. Damn. He smoked.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: He just smoked all the time. I'm thinking, I want
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: to say he died. I want to get this right.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: What did he die of? Play that one more. Play
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: one more where he's smoking a joint. We used to
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: have guys like that work security with us. Really? Oh, yeah.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: They were the best. They always bring the weed. It's
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: fucking nice out.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: Who's trying to chill?
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: Smoke some loud, feel me?
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: I got loud.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Hit my line. Either DM me or hit my line, bro.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: I got loud.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to smoke.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Just smoke it then. You know? But yeah, that was
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: a beautiful time. Oh, a collapsed lung is what got him. God.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Complications from a collapsed lung. He did have loud, dude.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: He blew his fucking... Yeah, but that also comes from
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: all those vapes that kids smoke nowadays. And adults smoke
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: them too, like me and other people. You smoke a vape?
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Let's not say that, but yeah.
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: I do.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Um, I've been on and off it. You know, you
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: try your best, but yeah, shout out YKD bro. I just, yeah,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: he was like one of the first dudes to kind
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: of go viral and he was always smoking big doinks
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: out there. And, uh, and that's what killed him. He
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: would literally drive all over just meeting people to smoke
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: weed and shit. And, um, what a great guy. He
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: got too big to get in his car or whatever.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: He was always eating. There he is at a mall.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah. What'd you say? Yo. Where the bitches at, bro?
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: He almost died right there. They got Nathan's in a mall?
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: That's a great fucking mall. So, yeah, just seeing something
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: like that is great, man. But go back to the
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Disney story. Let's go back. Oh, dude, yeah. Start from
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: the beginning of that, man.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Dude, when you walk in.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: And it had that smell. It had that good Disney smell. Mm-hmm. Well,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: it was very organized. Things were kind of pricey in
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: there a little bit, so it had some esteem. You
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: could get something small like a keychain, but you could
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: get something like ice skates or something. Oh, yeah, a
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: princess dress the whole night. All that shit. If you
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: had a child or a little daughter or somebody, you
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: could take them in there. That was a pretty high-end store,
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: I felt like, for the mall as far as children's paraphernalia.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: Hey, I'll never forget that bundle of plush shoes. There
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: was always like a big area of like all the
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: stuffed animals and shit. Oh, man, I used to just
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: kind of give it a hug, you know?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You have to. They had that nice stuff. Now,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: Disney showed up with a quality stuffed animal. I think
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Applause was the company that made a lot of their stuff,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: the parent company or whatever that made the stuffed animals. But, yeah, dude,
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: when the Disney store came. Me and my friend got
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: kicked out of a Disney store. Inside, I don't know.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Remember the little theater that was inside for kids to
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: kind of like crawl in? And they would show old
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: Disney movies. Inside there?
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, it's for children. I didn't go in there. Yeah, well, I.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: Slid in there one time to roll a blunt real
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: quick and hurried up, got that done. But then I
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: got stuck watching the fucking cartoons. And the lady was like, hey,
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: keep it moving, guys.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude. Sorry, we're just like Mickey Mouse, man. Mall
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: type shit, homie. That's what it is, dude. Yeah, what
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: other stories? Now, what about Build-A-Bear? Were you there when
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: that came out? Oh, yeah, yeah. And what kind of
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: clientele would you see over there, brother? Mostly the white folk.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: Was it really? Yeah. Build-A-Bear's a white thing? Yeah, yeah.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I would say so, a little bit. You know, it's
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: an experience. It's fun. You know what I mean?
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: Here's a store for you. Sharper Image. That was the
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: fucking jam right there. Sharper Image was... Like by far,
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: I think sharper image was the reason I got a
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: mall job actually.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: No, no shit. Cause. Oh yeah. It was where the
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: future it's where Elon Musk was born. Yeah, bro. Sharper
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: image was. Wasn't he born in a sharper image? This
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: was our Elon Musk. Yes, right. Sharper fucking image, dude.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: You would find a hair dryer that could sort coins
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: and- Massage your feet. Yeah, and massage your feet, tell
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: you you're blood type, and tell you if your mom
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: was being a B-I-T-C-H or not. And then they would
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: have a remote control car that you could never fucking afford. Always. Yeah.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: And it was the best one. I don't even know
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: what that is, but I wanted it.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, they had– dude, because everything in there, none of
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: it was like all– none of it made any– like
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: it was a– they had like a wallet that could
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: grate cheese. They had– what? They had like those things
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: you'd put your women right there. What is that? A
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: little foot spa. Foot spa, at-home foot spa, those things
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: that everybody bought and never used. Never, never, ever. But
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: sharper image was it, dude. They'd have like weird little
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: like– What is this? Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray. You could
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: just set your meat out on a tray and it
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: would defrost. That's called a counter. But they sold that bitch.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: 100 bucks. For real. Sharper Image Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray, dude.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: What else did they have? Sharper Image Warming Foot Massage. Fucking,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: my mom had those right there. Really? Did she use them? Yeah,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: they smelled after a while. Oh, yeah, definitely, dude. They
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: fucking rank.
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: Ugh.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but sharper.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, that was it, too. The hanger dryer, whatever it was,
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: there was a hanger for your clothes that would blow
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: out air and shit.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah. Yeah, a lot of it was ridiculous shit.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: This right here is a Sharper Image Closet Ionic Air Purifier. Yeah,
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: that's what I need. So between two of your shirts,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: you can put an air purifier? That is the dumbest
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: thing I've ever seen, dude. Sharper Image seems like, I
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: have this invention. Yeah, it's not going to work out,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: but we have this store for you. Yeah. Yeah, everything. Now,
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: the chairs were the big thing, though. You'd go in.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: That's the reason you went. And you'd look at the lady,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: and she would give you a look as to whether
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: or not. It wasn't a yes or no. It was
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: just you could tell if you were allowed to go
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: get in that chair or not. Yeah. You could tell.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: It was either they were going to help you out,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: or they just gave you the look. Yeah. You know?
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: We're your parents. Yeah, they'd say something like that. Kind
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: of passive-aggressive, but direct. Yeah. Who are you here with?
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Myself in this chair. What stores do different ethnicities frequent
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: at the mall? Where do the, where do mi gente go?
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Where do the Mexicanos go? See's Candy. Really?
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Por que? Free candy. Free samples. Oh, wow. You walk in,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: they give you a fucking treat. Hi, welcome to See's. Butterscotch.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: You're like, fuck yeah. See's Candy was the lick, man.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: See's Candy had everyone there. Yeah. See's Candy, huh? Mm-hmm. Hey, See's.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: You got to understand, though, See's Candy was just a
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: reason for us to go get free candy. And Mexicans
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: love sugar, yeah? Fuck yeah.
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: Good gifts, too. I used to live down in Mexico.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: I used to get boxes of candy all the time.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, are you saying something?
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: No, no, no.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: It's good. I'm like, fuck yeah. Let's do this. Yeah,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: the peanut brittle there is pretty nice. I will say that.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: They made a beautiful brittle for a while. I don't
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: even know if See's Candy is still open or not. Oh,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: they are. They are?
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Giving out them free samples daily. Where else
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: do the Mexicanos go? Ooh. Back then, let's see. I
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: forget the name of the store. Oh, remember KB Toy Store? Yeah. Yeah.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: They didn't go to Toys R Us. They went to
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: KB Toy Store because it was cheaper. Respect. Yeah. Man,
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I went there. I love KB Toys. Yeah, I remember
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: seeing it. I don't know where. I think we needed
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of time to get our toys over at Walmart,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: I think. But what about the Brothers and Sisters? Where
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: do they pull up at? Oh, shit. Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: No.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: Lotions. Oh, for sure. Smell goods and lotions. Lotions for sure, bro.
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: Yes, sir.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Damn. You could, oh, yeah. There was tons of lotion. God,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: they had all kinds in there, too. All kinds. Dude,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: remember when, okay, so black people went to Bed Bath
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: & Beyond. Do you remember at Bed Bath & Beyond, bro,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: when they came? Was it Bed Bath & Beyond? I
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: think it was. Maybe it was at Sephora. They had
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: these lotions that started to smell like cookies and shit, dude.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: And they'd never had it before, and people were going crazy.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: Actually, you know what's funny is I remember that year,
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: the summer, girls were walking by smelling like candy and shit. Like, yeah,
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: what is this? This is nice, you know? I think
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: it was Bed Bath & Beyond.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There you go, Christmas cookies, man. Body lotion. God,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: that shit was nice. Fuck yeah. Shit was nice, bro.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: It was like the new cocoa butter. Yeah. yeah that
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: was bath and body works bath and body ah bath
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: yeah bath and body works that's what it was um
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: what about um the indians bangladeshi muslims all that where
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: they pull up at any.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: High-end stores really yeah they were the high-end people the
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: dad's always walking with their hands behind their backs mom's
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: with their purses out kids spending all their money oh
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: yeah 100 that's asian.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah um what was up at hot topic dude oh
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: hot topic who hung out there that was a different
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: corner okay so my hot topic era was the real
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: emos the real.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: Little grungy ass kids that came in there and shit
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: you know it's all like sailor moon now but Back then, it.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: Was- Fucking kids eating rust and shit. Fuck yeah, man.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: They would come in and make black makeup all over
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: their face and shit. The beautiful people. The beautiful people. Maryland, man.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: The real Maryland Manson kids.
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? The people that would eat
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: their parents if you gave them a half hour. Fuck yeah.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: And if they didn't buy you something from Hot Topic,
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: it was real. Hot Topic was it, right? Yeah, man.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I loved Hot Topic.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: And what's funny is I grew up very urban, very
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: hip hop and all that shit. But Hot Topic was
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: definitely a vice of mine.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was, man. It really was. It was like
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: when you went in there, you're like, what's going on?
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Am I old enough to be in here? Is this
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: something just my older brother and sister can go to?
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: That was crazy. And they also had music in there. Yeah.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: They had CDs. This was back when they had CDs
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: and shit. And so that was different because people would
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: be there. If you're there picking out music, then your
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: brain's in like a music space, so you might get
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: a shirt that goes with a band, you know. Yeah,
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: because there was a bunch of ICP albums there. Yeah.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: That's who we used to hang out with. Hot Topic,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: like the Juggalos of San Diego. Yeah, I used to
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: love it. Hot Topic was like that, man. Hell yeah.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Any other store really? What about Structure? Remember that store
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: or no? Oh, look at you. Blasting the pad, baby. Wow,
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: Miller's Outpost even. Dude, Miller's Outpost was like about Arizona
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: and shit. Miller's Outpost turned into what, Anchor Blue or
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: something like that? Did it really?
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't know.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Anchor Blue was like the first time you could buy
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: like baggy pants and shit, you know, because I was like,
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: fuck yeah. But Miller's Outpost was definitely one of the
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: stores that all the trendy kids went to. Like everyone
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: popular went to Miller's Outpost. Got Genco's and shit like that.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude. Fucking Levi's. They had the suede vans there. Yeah. Dude,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I'd never seen a Miller's Outpost until I lived in
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: Arizona for a little bit. And that's when it was
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: a little bit different. What do you guys see on
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: the cameras? And did you guys ever catch anybody having
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: sex or anything like that?
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: Man, so I actually have a good story about that.
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: We've seen a lot on camera. I've seen people getting head.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: I've seen it all.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. That's one vote for Trump right there.
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: But we had a direct incident with one of our guards.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: And what rank was he? He was a no striper.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: No stripe. He was a no stripe. He was a
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: baggy pant, dicky wearing guy like me. Good guy, though.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: But he was messing around with a girl from Cinnabon.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: He was?
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: Was she cute? Eh, she was all right. She was
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: a Cinnaboner, you know? So one day, I'm watching the cameras,
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: and on the cameras, I notice she's going to the car,
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's not our guy. I think it's
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: the movie theater guy, you know? Wait, what are you
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: talking about? I'm confused.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, so the girl from Cinnabon, we were watching her
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: go from Cinnabon to the parking lot to her car.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: But she was walking with a guy. Oh, she's walking
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: with a guy to her car? Yeah, and I think
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: he was one of the employees from the movie theater.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: goes in there we could clearly tell they're doing some
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: shit he leaves within five minutes somebody else comes walking
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: up and it's our guard he gets in the car
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: they start doing their thing was it a Honda Accord
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: it was a Nissan Altima yeah Altima for sure so
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: they do their thing and we're just like me and
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: my other guy like no fucking way this is happening
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: like she's on her break You know, she's doing all
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: this on her break.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, so she's on her break. She met up with
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: the movie dude. They're hanging in the car. He leaves.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: Five minutes later, y'all's boy shows up. The other guard
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: shows up. Does his thing. Somebody from your rank. So
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: we call, he gets in there and I was like,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: hey man, I gotta show you something. And I was like, hey,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: you know we saw you go and he's like, yeah,
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: but I know you're not gonna say nothing, right? You know,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, but rewind. He's like, what the fuck?
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: So we start, you know, talking shit to him and
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: all this stuff, but I go up to the Cinnabon
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: girl and I was like.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, I watched.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: Everything that happened. She was like, please don't say nothing.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Cinnabon for life. So I got free Cinnabon
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: for life. But yeah, my boy and the movie guy
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: taxed the same girl in the fucking half hour period.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Saw that on camera. And do you think it was
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: full sex or do you think it was oral? It
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: had to have been full sex the second guy. No way. Why?
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: He came out adjusting his pants and she came out
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: adjusting her shit. The first one, she was kind of like,
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: you know, wiping it up.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. She probably just needed free passes or something,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: You know, that's probably when... What's that movie that killed
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Paul Walker?
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: Fast and the Furious.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: That's probably when Fast and the Furious 3 came out.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Have you... What else would you guys... Do you guys ever.
• 54:54
  Speaker 5: Hi, this is Amy calling from Kohl's department store on
• 54:56
  Speaker 5: Gulf Road. I've got an active.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: This just shows how they can follow people with the
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: mall cameras. Oh, yeah.
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: You can do this too?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: We used to do it all the time.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: And a concealing merchandise.
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: They've got a cart full and they're in a U-Haul truck.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Damn, a whole U-Haul?
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: In a parking lot.
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: She watches as they casually go through the store, even
• 55:32
  Speaker 4: taking time to sample some cologne, but accumulate more and
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: more items in their cart.
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: They're about to go. Hold on. Sorry, they keep coming.
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: They're about to exit and then they come back. They're
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: like plotting their exit.
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: As the security guard waits for police to arrive, she's
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: still on the phone with 911 when the woman pushes
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: the cart full of stolen items out the front door.
• 55:55
  Speaker 5: They're going to go right now. I got to go
• 55:57
  Speaker 5: make the apprehension.
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: She's the one in purple chasing the woman with the cart.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: So you can run out and yell loss prevention, though. Yeah.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Do you guys do that? I've done it a couple times.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: What do you do? What's that like? What's it like
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: now you see somebody stealing? Take me through it.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Nowadays, today, someone's stealing. You pretty much just grab the
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: description of them, all that.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: Can you call them a pussy or anything like that?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: You can, but you just be wary of the cameras
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: around you because everyone's got a cell phone nowadays.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: And it's like, you can literally lose your job over
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: saying that. It's like fucking bullshit, you know? Because I
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: do want to yell.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Out that shit. Yeah, the guy's a thief. Or the
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: woman is. Yeah. Definitely have had my moments of, hey,
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: please stop. Don't do this. You're going to fuck up.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: I literally have your license plate, and they'll just turn
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: around like, fuck you. And it's like, okay, man. And
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: you just have to follow them out, you know? And
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: you're just kind of escorting the thievery. Nowadays, you're just
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: escorting them.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: Now kids are coming in like 20 at a time,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: filling up trash bags and you can't stop that. Nowadays, man,
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: you just have to really escort them out, you know?
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: So now thieves almost get security guards. Yeah. To make
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: sure nobody touches them on their way out. Right. And
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: make sure nothing else. So I don't want anybody else
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: getting involved here. You're almost trying to keep other people
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: safe that are there, that sort of thing. Yeah.
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: Like I'm trying to steal professionally here, man. Back everyone up,
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: you know, like I'm trying to have a clear path
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: to my car. And it's like, you give them that,
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: you know? Damn, bro. One time Louis Vuitton had me work.
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: I was working at the Louis Vuitton store in the mall.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell yeah.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: And we had a protest. Protest came. For what?
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: Fur.
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: Something about fur. Because Louis Vuitton kills animals or some shit.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah.
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: All that horse shit. But then they're all wearing leather Nikes.
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, you guys are fucking up. This is it. Oh,
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: this could have been in a different mall. Yeah, they're
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: from like AFA or some shit like that. They do
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: this like weird ass Instagram post for everyone to meet
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: up and then they'll come.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: They do that. They come in with the fucking bullhorns
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: and shit, right? And they say stop with the fur. Yeah,
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: fur kills or something like that.
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: But I didn't let him in my door and this
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: fucking put her megaphone right here. And I literally like
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: you have cameras and everything and I'm and I'm just.
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: burying like all my hate for everything i've ever had
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: in my life she says the sound going right in
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: your face yeah and and then she'll turn it around
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: and then she'll let the siren out because we had
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: a rope it's like we're gonna let you go so
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: far it's like i don't cross this rope you don't
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: cross this rope she had the fucking bullhorn right here
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: and it's like i don't condone hitting women at all
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: but i want to shove this bullhorn down your fucking
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: throat right now yeah you know and There was a
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: point in time where one of the guards came and
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: he saw me shaking. He goes, are you going to
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: hit her? I'm like, since you said it, no.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: You know, but if you wouldn't have said it in
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: the next minute, something might have fucking happened. And those
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: are things you can't do.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: 20 years ago, I'd have snatched that bullhorn and threw
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: it across the fucking mall.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: 100%. But it's stuff like that nowadays. It's like protesters,
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: they get away. They're throwing fur and fake blood at you,
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: and you're just like, what are you supposed to do?
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: And how much do you guys get paid an hour?
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: 20 bucks an hour.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck. Come on, man. Yeah. It ain't nothing, man. You
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• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: anybody having sex in any of the uh like dressing
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: rooms oh yeah oh hell yeah hell yeah dude i
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: did it too one time did you yeah new orleans
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: okay i was gonna say it wasn't that you know
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: this one place because you do look familiar no uh
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: no uh i've uh we've caught two people on camera
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: going in and you can clearly tell they didn't go
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: in with anything and the girl was like you know
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: giving the just like and i was like oh she's
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: doing blowing in there She was doing all, probably blow
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: and blowing. Can you hear it? Can you see? Is
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: there a camera you can see in there? No, not
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: at all. Okay. Not at all. You could clearly see
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: him walk in, and she was like, yeah, I'm going
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: to fuck your dick. And I was like, oh, she's
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: going to fuck his dick. And we creep up. You know,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: we don't make it. No. We creep up. We listen.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Get our little perv on for a second. And then
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: fucking beat on the doors really hard. And then, you know,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: it's just, oh, you know. Yeah, I'm next. Yeah, something,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: you know, like, deuce, you know, like, you know, but.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: Um, definitely I've caught in many people in the act,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: many people, all races, all genders, uh, caught two gay
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: dudes one time.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: That was an experience for me. Really? Yeah. Like what
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: did you see? Any action sword fighting?
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: So two wieners at once in your own line of vision. Yeah. Um,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: it was at Horton Plaza, uh, Horton Plaza is out
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: of San Diego. It's not there anymore. No, that's the
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: horn play. Yeah.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: So it was inside the theater and theater called and said, Hey,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: There's something going on. We need males to come into
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: the bathroom and handle this. So I get in the
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: bathroom and I hear giggling. And I almost feel they wanted.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: To get caught.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: Because when I opened the door, it was almost like
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: they were paused. And then like, oh, sorry. And I'm like,
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: please stop. And what, they had their wieners out? Yeah,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: both of them. Oh, wow. Unfortunately, one was hard and
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: one was not. Oh, wow. So you didn't really look. Yeah,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: I had to. You didn't have to. I mean, at
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: a certain point, you... I think if you see the
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: rest of somebody's body is naked, you know the wiener's
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: right there in the middle. You know, when you walk
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: in and something, and it's just like, oh, oh, oh. Yeah.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: There was that three-step part of like, hey, guys, dicks, okay,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: get the fuck out of my bathroom now.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: But I feel they wanted to get caught, 100%. Well,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: there is something weird. If you see somebody naked, immediately
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: you need to know if they have... You can't even
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: help but There's something inside of you, I guess, maybe.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. It's probably like competition.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: Is it bigger than mine? You think? No, I think
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: you just don't. I don't know. I remember I was in,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: we were in New Orleans, my girlfriend. We went into
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: Victoria's Secrets, right? We went up in there. Yeah, we
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: both snuck in there and then just started having a
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: little bit of SCX, boy. And we were young. And
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: so it was, you know, it was fun when you're young.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: It's fun to just do a little bit of fucking
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: or whatever. And it's, yeah, it was like, yeah, sober
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: sex is for children. I've always said that. And anyway,
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: it was just, that was awesome. I miss her a
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: lot sometimes. And, you know, what else? But was there
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: other sexual instances you guys would see? Oh, yeah. A
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: lot in the parking lot.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: A lot of going to the parking lot. A lot
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: of employees after work in the parking lot. What? Doing
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: sex in cars?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: We caught somebody behind the trash can at the dumpsters
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: one time. Like, they coordinated to go take out trash
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: together because the guy told me, he goes, yeah, I
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: told her to take out trash at like 8.30 and
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: we met.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Romeo and Juliet. Fuck, yeah.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: And the gross thing is, like, it was the food
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: court trash can. So it smelled like food. And I
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: was like, you couldn't use the one that uses plastic
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: and cardboard?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, it's Recyclio and Juliet, dude. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: Right there behind the dumpsters, though.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: If I, oh, yeah, it's hard for me to stay
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: erect if there's broken glass around or like a bad
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: trash smell is rough, you know? The smell of other
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: pee kind of throws it off, too. Oh, dude, I remember,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: so wiggers kind of, remember them? Oh, yeah, I was one. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: Right on, dude. Yeah, I had a black stepdad. I
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: have a black stepdad, so grew up in that, you know? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: And everyone was like, you're a wigger. I'm like, How?
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: There's a real one at my house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: But they started at the mall, I feel like. Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah,
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: like back in the day, I feel like if you
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: needed a wigger or you needed a ginger, you went
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: to Foot Locker or Lids. I feel like that's where
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: they kind of, that was like their junior college or whatever.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: This guy just called out my whole life right now.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: I love Lids. Oh, bro, Lids is a definite place.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: For you to roll up and see what was kind
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: of wiggering around the area. Oh, yeah. You know? Oh, yeah.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: Malibu's Most Wanted was always walking through Lids. It was great.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: And those were the ones that... Yeah, that's where God
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: kept most of the wiggers, I feel like, was Foot
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: Locker and Lids, dude.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, 100%. 100%. And JCPenney's. They hid out in JCPenney's. Really? Yeah.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: Because that's where all, like, some urban clothes were at,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: So they would get them on sale. They knew where
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: the sales were. Um... What happened as malls started to decline, man?
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: Did you notice any of that in your time? Yeah.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: You could definitely tell like over one summer, about 10 years,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: 15 years ago, it was just like not packed anymore.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: It wasn't fun anymore.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: Um, they still had the big movie blockbusters coming out,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: but people weren't lining up to see Spider-Man no more.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: You know, like once you see the theater die out,
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: I think that's when the mall is done. Once, once
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: the theater starts going and you can't draw anybody in there.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: Cause that's, Theater's always been the hub of why you
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: go to the mall sometimes. What are you going there for?
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: I'm going to the movies. But as soon as that
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: decline started, it's sad when you see empty stores in
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: the mall. Like, oh man, I used to go there.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, it's not there anymore. It's like,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: put something in there and they'll put a phone store
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: in there. Now Apple's like 20 stores deep and you're like,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: who cares?
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or it'll be like Kumal's Magic Shop or something
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: and it's like, Fuck it. Fuck, Tommy. I'm not going. Yeah,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: if someone's dropping you off at the mall to learn magic, dude,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: you are being sex traffic, dude. Yeah, you're being set
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: up for something. I mean, that's easy, right, guys? Yep.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: But what about during the holidays? Did malls always stay
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: busy at the holidays? Yeah, they did. They did. for sure.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: Because once, like you said, once the decline happened, stores
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: started doing more sales during the holidays, trying to get
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: the attention out. And those were the times it's like
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: the holidays for the mall was great because it's like traffic.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: People were out having good times and stuff like, you.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: Know, mingling. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: And that's the best thing about the mall. They're blasting
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 3: that music, man, 24-7. It's like, oh, yeah, it feels
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: so good. And with the holiday mall thing, it's– I
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: wanted to go back to that. Like get rid of
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: Cyber Monday and put it all back in the mall.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: Put the holiday sales back in the mall. Let us fight.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: Let us like terrorize doors that, you know, like I
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: missed the real black Fridays. Yeah. The real black Fridays
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: are gone. Really? Yeah. The, the, the, the true black
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: Fridays of sitting out all night and you open that
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: door and I, two black Fridays, I got into a fight. Okay. Yeah.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I've got a black Friday was crazy for you guys.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Black, like that. How would you prepare for that?
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: Would you guys like, did you, yeah. Like would you
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: guys have to do any special training before black Fridays
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: or did you guys get up early that day? And
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: what was that like?
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: Um, to be honest, uh, A lot of us would
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: do actual stretches like for black Friday. Cause we knew
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: we had an 18 hour day. Um, some of us
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: who were smart enough, eight, right. Eight correctly stretched out
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: a little bit. Cause we knew we were going to fight,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: especially if you were, if there was a target at
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 3: a mall, like if there's a target set in the mall,
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: that target was the worst place for black Friday.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Everyone's lined up. They're rushing through. They are punching you.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: They don't give a shit about nothing, but, but the,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: the OG black Fridays, man, I missed those. Those were
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: the fighting days over like something.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: And those were the first remnants of you can't touch anybody.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: The OG Black Fridays were kind of like the start
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: of don't touch anybody. Just let them fight over that
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 3: fucking blender that's only two bucks.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: And you let them go at it. Well, it used
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: to be you could buy a coffee maker. They'd have
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: a coffee maker that can tell if your cousin's gay
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: or not. And it'd be like, well, who cares? But yeah,
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: we got to get that. And they would fight over it. Yeah.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: Or they'd have a water purifier.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: That can tell, that can guess your weight or whatever.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: It's just like shit that's like.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 3: One lady, one Black Friday got beat up outside because
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: at the time, I don't think they understood the system
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: of layaway. So like the actual store didn't understand what
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: they got themselves into. So this lady goes up and
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 3: everyone's in fucking line for the electronics. Everyone's fought already now.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: I've lined everyone up, calmed everyone down. Because the electronic
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: department in the store wasn't open yet. They were waiting
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: two hours to put everything on sale. This lady goes
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: and asks, how many PlayStation or how many PS4s do
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: you have? And they're like, oh, we have 100. I
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: remember hearing like, we have 120. She goes, I want
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: to put a layaway on all 120. Because it was
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: only like five bucks a layaway. So she's like, how
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: many cameras do you have?
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: And so she spent like, I don't know, like two
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: grand on layaway. And bought out damn near everything that
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: people were waiting in line for. So by the time, like,
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: even the second person, like, so I can't get a PlayStation?
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: They're like, no.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 3: As soon as they put it on layaway, they have
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: to take that exact item and put it in the back.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't like they can reorder anything. It was
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: like whatever was out was out on sale. So this
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: fucking lady put all this shit on layaway. She gets out,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: and people down the line went and met her outside
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: and asked her, like, hey, are you going to sell
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: this stuff? Like, is there any way we can get
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 3: in it? And she's like, no, and started walking away,
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: and they beat the shit out of her.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: And I shut the door and walked away. That's greed. Yeah,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, you deserve that one. She deserves it.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: You can't go on Christmas. You're telling me. How old
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: was the woman? Oh, she was in her 40s. Good.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: You're telling me, Miss 40s, you're going to use 120 PlayStations?
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: You're getting beat up. You're getting fucking beat up. You're
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: getting beat up. And that's the kind of shit we need. Vigilanteism.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Here's a video right here. Black Friday stampede at Victoria's Secrets.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: And this is whites hunting panties right here, boy. There
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: we go. A lot of fucking thong. Hell yeah.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: God, that thong in there. Bro, remember when the thong
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: came out? Bro, Google when did the thong come out, bro?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: Because that changed everything, bro. Everybody became a hoe right then.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: When did the thong come out, bro? The thong swimsuit.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about the thong panty, bro. Like, when did
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: it come out in Walmart to make you feel uncomfortable?
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 3: Because remember when, I remember there was a time when
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 3: they were actually out, like, in the Walmart, and you'd
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: walk by, and you'd feel, oh, shit, I don't think
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: I can walk by this aisle.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: 1990s, it said. Looks like they debuted in 74, but
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: really caught on in the 90s. Let's go to, yeah,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: get it. Okay, 74, go to there. The thong makes
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: its official debut with Rudy Gernietch's invention of the thong swimsuit. Yep, 2002.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: A year later, this style was being sold as underwear
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: across America. That's in 74. In 1990s, thong underwear hits
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: the mainstream. That's what happened. Marketed widely as a practical
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: undergarment to pair with slim fit jeans to best avoid
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: visible panty lines. Yum, yum. The 1995 Victoria's Secrets hold
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: its first public runway show led by models Stephanie Seymour
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: and Rebecca Raman, igniting a consumer thong frenzy, dude. 2002,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: over 120 million pairs of thong underwear were sold in
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: the U.S. alone. That's when I was at the mall. Really?
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those were the years I was at the, like,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: those were the good days, man. Because I was 22,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: so you had all those, like, Those young ass women
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: coming out of college buying the fuck it was, like
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: five for 30.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: Oh. Yeah. I would definitely, I would be, I would
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: be in there, I bet. It was a sniffer's dream.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: Was it? Oh, yeah. Would you guys ever go in
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: there and do some pervy shit? We wouldn't, but we
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: would catch the people that were. Yeah. You know. Were
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: there some lurkers in there in Victoria's Secret? What was
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: that like? Was that where the babes were at? Where
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: were the babes at in the mall? Victoria's Secret. Okay.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: Victoria's Secret. We got a call one time about a
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: pervy dude in Victoria's Secret. Oh, yeah.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 3: Because I guess they're allowed to try on the panties
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: and they put a little panty, like whatever they do
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: to put a little panty liner in to like block the,
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: you know, the clam and the jam. So I guess
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 3: when they take the panties off, it's not like they
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: go throw them in a washing machine. They just put
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 3: them back on the rack. So I guess the guy
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 3: caught on to where they were putting those panties and
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: he would go by and just kind of, Oh.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, these look good.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: Get that good whiff. Yeah, boy. Make that fucking, make
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: your wiener walk forward, baby. I like that. Um, yeah,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: I did. I, yeah, I understand. I think it's, um,
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: and would you guys have to go and talk to
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: that guy? Yeah. Unfortunately. Really? Yeah. Like how do you,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: what do you say there?
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 3: I actually used my own words. I said, hey, man,
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: what the fuck are you doing in here sniffing underwear
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: like that?
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: And he's like, I'm not. I'm like, bro, you are
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: in here sniffing panties like a fucking pervert.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: And he started walking away. I said, hey, bro, don't
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: come in here no more. Stop grabbing handfuls of panties
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: and sniffing them.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: We see you.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 3: And then he walks out, and I swear he said
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: this under his breath.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: He goes, I'm still going to do it. Really? Yeah.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, he's dedicated. Yeah.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: You gotta respect that, man. But he was definitely one
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 3: of the only ones that I actually encountered. I've heard
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 3: plenty of stories. Like there was, there's Victoria's secret girls
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 3: used to tell stories all the time about like, Oh man,
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 3: this guy used to do like a run by sniff or, um,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: girls would like, uh, if they pull up their panties
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 3: or they would hold panties in the air to look
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 3: at him or something, a guy would like drop his
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 3: wallet or something good, you know, a quick little sniff by.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: And he was like, yeah, we see a lot of
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: that here. I'm like, why don't you say anything? Like,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's really pervy. I'm like, it's
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 3: all pervy.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: It's all pervy. But at the same time, I guess
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: it could be funny if you just see somebody hit
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: a knee and a sniff. Yeah. And what would they do?
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: Try to sniff, smell the woman? The butt. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: That'll get you. Sniffers are weird. Yeah. Well, it's, you know,
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: humans are 40% animal or something. And they do it,
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: you know. So I don't think it's crazy. No. But it's, yeah.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: It's an art form. I don't know if it's an
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: art form. That's crazy. But yeah, it seems weird.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 3: I think it should have been something back in the
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 3: day that got frowned upon. Like, hey, you can't be
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 3: sniffing Sally's ass.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: It's like, whatever. Yeah. Have you ever had to protect
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: like a mall Santa or anything like that? Yes. Or
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: what's it like when the mall Santa's come? Take me
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: through some Christmas time lore. Okay.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 3: So the mall Santa situation is always a fun one
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: because eight out of ten times, he's a drunk.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: You will honestly get a Santa guy that comes in
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: there who dedicates his life to being Santa all year long,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: who can't wait to go to the mall to do
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: the Santa thing, and then you got guys like me
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: who are like, fuck, I just need a job for
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: the season.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 3: It's a seasonal job, you know? But I've had guys
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 3: literally pull up drunk, you know, like.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: Hey, where do I go? I'm like, who are you? Santa.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh, come on over here. The Santa, the
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 3: drunk Santas were always fun because they had the drugs.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: They had the weed. And they were the funniest with
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: the kids because they were the nicest. Yeah.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: The guys that actually did the Santa full year, they
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 3: would get irritated through the first two hours.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: The drunk ones would be like, hell yeah, I'll get
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: you a Ferrari, anything you want, you know?
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: So I used to hang out with those Santas during
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 3: the season. I'll get your mom a half pound of cock,
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: you feel me?
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. That's stupid. Actually, you know, I've actually heard
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: a Santa hit on her mom. Yeah. And he should, dude.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: He said, I got a present for you to unwrap. Oh,
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: Santa should get on. The first guy any woman should
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: want is Santa. Who's your husband? And you're like, you know,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: he plays for the Mets or whatever. I'm like, bitch,
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: my husband is Santa. We had Santa on the podcast.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: Show a clip of that guy. Let's just get a
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: look at him. He was amazing, man. Oh, he's got
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: the full look at him. He got a championship belt
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: on an area. Look at him. He is the world
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: champion of Santa's. It was so cool to meet him, dude.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: We were excited. How long is he? How long did
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: he do it for? He was in the game. I
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: think 26 years. He did mall Santa stuff. He was sanding.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: He'd done all types. He'd done it from everywhere across
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: the globe from Guam to, um, Oh wow. Connecticut.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: He'd done everywhere. Um, And what was it like? Anybody ever,
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: any issues with mall Santas or anything like that?
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 3: One Santa had to get fired his third day, and
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: I think because he fought a parent because the kid
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: asked for something, and the parent was going like this, trying.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: To tell Santa, like, tell him no, tell him no.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: It's like Santa's not allowed to say no. You know
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: what I mean?
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: Well, the kid was just asking for, like, toys, like
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 3: basic-ass toys, but I guess the kid was a bad kid.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 3: And this was supposed to be a lesson to the kid,
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 3: but the parent didn't let us in on the fucking,
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 3: on the jam. So the kid starts telling Santa like, hey,
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: you know, I want this toy, this.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: Toy, this toy. He's like, oh yeah, this, that. And
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: she's like, no, tell him no. And like, you can
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: see him kind of like, okay. So he keeps going on.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 3: Then the dad walks up and he starts still telling
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 3: the story or telling him what toys he wants. And
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 3: the Santa starts just eyeballing the dad because now the
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: dad's like doing this. So the kid gets up, and
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 3: now the dad walks over and says, hey, man, we're
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: telling you fucking no. And he's like, hey, I don't
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 3: know what you're telling me no to. He's just asking
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 3: for toys. And the dad kind of just did like
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 3: this little backhand do it.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: He's like, shut up.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 3: Just kind of backhand. It literally, a transformer. He went
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 3: from Santa to whatever his name is. Because he stood up,
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 3: and literally as he stood up, the beard, the hat,
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: and everything just kind of came off, the whole top.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: He's like, what? And they just started fighting. fighting right
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: there on the spot. He's like, he started, Santa started
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: hitting him.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: I kind of stepped in the middle, pushed the mom
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 3: back because the mom started clawing at us.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: And then the kids, like he, the kid literally standing
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: there going, what did I, he, he yelled out, am
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: I getting a bike? I just want to know. Fuck,
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: you know, but he literally yelled out, what did I
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: do wrong? And I'm like, oh man, he didn't like,
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: in my head, you didn't do nothing wrong. It's your
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: fucking parents, you know? Yeah.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: But I, and later on, and the cops came, the
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 3: parents were explaining that. We're trying to teach him a lesson.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 3: We brought him here because we want to talk to
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 3: Santa and all this shit. And I'm like, well, you
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 3: ended up getting your ass whooped.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So what's the lesson here? Yeah. You shouldn't, you
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: can't attack Santa because he has met because he's the best.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: That's why. Yeah. And bro, you don't know who's under
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: that Santa, you know? No. Um, let me ask you this. Um, any,
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: would you hit on women during at the mall? Cause
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: it's probably hard. Here's what I would guess would be tough.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: A woman shows up at the mall. She's attractive. You're you,
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: Feel attracted to her. But then how do you not
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: just chase her? Like, not chase her. But you know
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? A mall is just people are going
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: in a certain direction. Because even I remember when I
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: was young and I'd be at the mall, you'd kind
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: of be following a girl around the mall. Mall stalking?
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: Mall stalking's real. Is that what it's called? Mall stalking.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: Mall stalking.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 3: And as a mall cop, you can definitely get away
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 3: with it more than just being an average Joe.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 3: Because if you're just following a girl in normal clothes,
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 3: you're like, what the fuck's going on? But, no, we
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 3: used to mall stock back in our days. You know,
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 3: girls would show up. And it'd be nice, too, because, like,
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 3: it's kind of weird because we had our own little groupies.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 3: Because they think we, like, oh, man, he's a security guard.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 3: He can get us backstage.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: Like, to what? You know? Yeah. The best we can
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: do is probably sneak you into the theater. You know?
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: And that right there was money back in the day.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: Girls loved us for that.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 3: Because it was kind of a scam. Because I would
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 3: walk the girl up to the movie theater. And I
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 3: would know half the people anyway.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 5: But.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 3: Most of the time I'd walk up and I'm like, hey,
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: she left her purse in the theater. I'm just going
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 3: to walk her in and make sure she gets out.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, okay, Gus. You're all right.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: I'm like, so what movie would you like to see?
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 3: Easy numbers, man. Easy numbers.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: But yeah, mall cops actually had their own little groupies around.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: It was great. Ever get laid from a woman you
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: met at the mall?
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 5: Nah.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 5: Nah.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: No. I never pursued too much. Like I never pursued
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: the clientele. Yeah.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: Just because you never knew where that was going to land. Oh, yeah,
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: for sure.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you see an attractive woman and they're just shopping
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: at the wrong store and you're just like, oh, yeah,
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 3: good on that.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that just fucks everything up.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: So do mall cops have enemies? Do you guys have?
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: Other mall cops. Really? Yeah. Other mall cops. So there
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: would be beef on the force? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. So say you have mall cops. It breaks
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: my heart.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 3: Say you have mall cops that they're on their day
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: off And they come to your mall and they make
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: it known that they're mall cops. Now there's just that
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 3: beef and you see them walking around because sometimes they'll
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: come and you're like, oh, we wouldn't do it like that. Oh,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 3: you guys do it like, oh, well, we do it
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 3: like this. Like now we have beef. Fuck your mall.
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 3: Fuck your whole mall.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So there was mall beef. Yeah.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Anything has beef. You know what I mean?
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: But mall cop beef was funny. Would you guys ever do, like,
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: a volleyball team or anything like that for your mall?
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: Was there any, like— No, I did try to get
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 3: a softball tournament going between the mall guys one time.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: I really— I' m not kidding. I really tried to get— Of course, dude.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: I really tried to get some softball shit going. Go
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 3: out there, get drunk, and if things lead to the
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 3: ninth inning, we fight, we fight.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? But, yeah, I was trying
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: to organize some things, trying to have some fun, you know? Yeah. Yeah,
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: I think you have to. I remember at a Waffle
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: House one night I'd been using or whatever, and I
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: was in there, And I almost had a team put
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: together to fucking play another Waffle House. Oh, shit. Yeah.
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: And then I don't know what happened after that. I
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: think I might have fallen asleep or something. But it
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: was just, yeah, people were. Hey, when you get them
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: on board, though, that's the best. Oh, that's when it's
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: the best, dude. Ever have a lost child situation there? Oh, yeah.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: Ever had a kidnapped child situation? No kidnapping situation, no.
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: An attempted kidnapping happened on my day off. Wow. We
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: all heard about it. I'm not.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 3: Going to say it wasn't like a major thing to
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 3: where like somebody got out and like snatched a kid,
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 3: but I guess a lady was going around courting kids,
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 3: so to say. Like if the parent would walk away,
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 3: I guess the lady was walking up and just kind
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 3: of like, oh, do you.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: Know my son? Have you met my son? Oh, I
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: think you go to school with him. He's over there. Yeah.
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 1: I guess she was just listing random names.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: And just a kid goes to elementary, it's like you
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: might hit one of the names.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, James is over there.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 3: And I guess on the camera, one of the kids
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 3: looked up and said, oh, James, and went to walk towards.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 3: And the mom's like, hey, where are you going? And
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: if the mom wouldn't have looked, I think that would
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 3: have been it for the kid. But no straight out kidnapping.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 3: Lost kids all day. Out of a five-day schedule for
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 3: the week, for those days, you're.
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: Going to deal with a lost kid. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. What happens?
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: What's the major cause of that? Parents just being like,
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: just too into what they're doing. Kids just running off,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: not paying. And like, I have a toddler, man, these
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: kids are, they're just fast. You know what I mean?
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 3: They're fast as fuck. And once they take off, that's it.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: You know, like sometimes it's not the parent's fault. Sometimes
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 3: it is the parent's fault. Like I can really back
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 3: it up. Like it may be not, but usually is. Um,
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 3: I've had kids on the opposite side of the mall
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 3: where the parents were literally, like, inside, like, JCPenney's, and
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: this kid bolted through the whole mall.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 3: Made it in other stores, made it all the way down,
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: and now he's just sitting at a toy store by himself,
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 3: and that's the truth. He was literally sitting in a
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 3: toy store, and when I found him, he was sitting
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 3: there playing with a toy, and I was like, hey.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 3: His name was Jacob. I was like, hey, are you Jacob?
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 3: And he looked up, and he goes, yeah. Because he was, like,
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 3: seven or eight. He was, you know, like, he was
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 3: old enough to know, like, Fuck my parents.
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm going to go to this toy store. Yeah,
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do my own shit. Dad's not doing
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: well or whatever. Nope. Wow. So that's got to be
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: kind of, is it scary or does it just get
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 1: so repetitive that you're like, oh, this is probably the
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: same thing, you know? Still scary.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: No, to me it's scary because one, I'm a parent
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 3: and so it always sinks in like, don't want to
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 3: lose your kid. Then you always want to slap him
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 3: in the back of the fucking head. Like, dude, pay
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 3: attention to your kid.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, 100%.
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 3: But, you know, the worst ones is during like the
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 3: Black Friday thing. like the holiday seasons, because it's not
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 3: like one kid. It's multiple kids that are missing. And
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 3: it's like they're not even missing. It's just so crowded,
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: you're not paying attention. And do you have to do
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 3: an intercom thing then or no?
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. What do you do? What do you say then?
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: You're just getting over the line.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 3: If the parents of Jacob or there's a lost kid,
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 3: he looks like this. And if you go over a
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 3: PA system, within a minute, a lot of parents will
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 3: start perking up, like if you have a human heart.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 3: you start perking up and looking around, just kind of
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 3: check your surroundings. And we usually get the call like, oh,
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 3: he's over here playing with fucking toys.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: You know, and he was like, I want to go
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: get Jacob. Yeah. So the food court, what's going on there, man?
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: Food courts. You miss it? Yeah. I miss the OG
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: food courts, like Sbarro's. Sbarro's pizza was so good. Love it.
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: It was good and horrible. But it was a lot
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: of people's first taste of Italian. It was. Bring it up.
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 1: Bring up Sbarro's. Sbarro's was good, man. They had a
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: lot of... Bread at it. That's what I like about it.
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like it was hella bready. I mean, it's pizza,
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: but still. But God, yeah, Zabar. You're right, dude. What
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: the fuck am I talking about? Zabar's was so damn good, dude.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: So good. And also, you didn't know at that age.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: There wasn't. You didn't know what was good or wasn't.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: Get the second.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get that one. Right there. That's the one I
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: went to. God, it looks good. Right? Right? I can
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: just smell Sbarro's. Sbarro's, dude. And I loved it, too. Oh,
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: I love Sbarro's. I love mall food because you don't
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: have to wait long. It was just like, what do
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: you need? What do you want? And then you just
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 1: go down this little jail line and you're just like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, pay,
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: and you're out. And would you guys eat there every
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: day usually? Pretty much, yeah.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 3: Especially because once you make friends with everybody, you're getting
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 3: discounts and you're getting hooked up because you're not telling
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 3: on them because they're doing shit in the parking lot.
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: So, you know. Yeah, we ate there a lot. It
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: gained a lot of weight eating there. Did you? Oh, yeah,
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: especially when Rubio's.
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 3: We had a Rubio's pop up at one of my malls,
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 3: and I thought that was like, okay, I'm going to
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: start eating fresh and eating better.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: Fuck no. Tortillas all day. It was great. Fuck yeah. Rubio's.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 1: Rubio's in a mall is good. Yeah, Rubio's is pretty good, man.
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 3: They used to have a McDonald's in my mall, and
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 3: I know it's weird to say. Kind of frowned on.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 3: It's like, why would you take out the McDonald's? And
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 3: it's like, because everyone would go strictly to McDonald's. Because
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 3: if you put a McDonald's in the mall, it's just
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 3: like malls to a flame.
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: But doesn't that help? Because then at least the malls
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 1: are around the freaking other stores.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I guess McDonald's just takes all the business
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 3: from all the food court places.
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see. Because food court, if you're with kids,
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: it's always up to the kid where you're going. And
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: they're like, McDonald's. Right, kids will always say McDonald's. Yeah,
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: especially if they have the playground.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: And Miss Fields, did they have that? Oh, Mrs. Fields. Yes.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: They had the cookie cakes. Remember those? Those are fucking good.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: My mom would always get those for us for our birthdays.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 5: Oh, man.
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: Dude, bring that cookie. Yes. Yes. So speaking of Miss Fields,
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: in my day, we actually used to get these cookies
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: after they were closed because a lot of these places,
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: they can't sell the shit the next day or it
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: goes bad or whatever. I've eaten probably 100 of those
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: fucking birthday cookies in my life. The big one? Yeah.
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: taking them home, cut them all up, hand out to
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: friends and shit. Yeah.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 3: I've showed up to like friends' houses with fucking three
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 3: or four of these cookies.
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: Like, is it your birthday? I'm like, Nope. Mrs. Fields
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: was closing.
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 3: You know, you have two cakes as a happy birthday,
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 3: Chad on them.
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: You're like, who the fuck is Chad? Who gives a shit,
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: but happy birthday, Chad. Um, what mall store had the
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: dumbest employees? Oh shit. Or what mall store was just like,
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: what mall store was whatever. It was just like, what
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: are we? Um, What is it? FYI? Is that a store? FYE. FYE.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: DVD store. Oh, yeah. That was a weird thing. I
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: was like, what was that?
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 3: It was like all the fake movie buffs worked there.
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 3: It was just a weird store. They had the weirdest
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 3: employees there. And no disrespect to them, but you guys
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 3: were weird. It seems weird though.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: Cause it's like, like you wanted to work at hot topic,
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: but you weren't cool enough to work at hot topic.
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: You wanted to work at like the music trader or
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: even the movie theater. And you weren't cool enough to
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: be like, and this was like, all right, fuck it here.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: We're at FYE. This is like the leftover shit. Yeah.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: But to be fair, FYE had a lot of good finds.
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: Like you could find like the most random ass shit there,
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: you know, like, like a scar face porn. You're like,
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: hell yeah.
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah.
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: That's respectable. Um, What store had the hot chicks? Yeah,
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: what store had chicks in it usually? The Victoria's Secrets,
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: Amber Cromby.
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 3: When Amber Cromby and Fitch came out, I did not
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 3: go into that store for almost the first year. Even
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 3: as an employee working at the mall, and they would
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 3: tell you to go do wellness checks on your stores,
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 3: I would not go into Amber Cromby and Fitch.
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: Why? I didn't fit in the clothes. It's just one
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: of those things, man. Oh, yeah. It was only for
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: attractive people. Like models. Yeah.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: It was for models, dude.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 3: So I did not walk in there. And the one
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 3: time I did walk in, I was like, so this
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 3: is where all the women are at.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: Gotcha. Gotcha. But Anne-Marie Cormier-Fitch was just a little intimidating,
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: you know, for myself. I was a Miller's Outpost guy,
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: like I said. Bet. Well, Abercrombie & Fitch, too, dude, they,
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: and they'd have, like, naked children on horseback.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 3: Remember when they came out with all those photos and shit?
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 3: I thought that was J.Crew that did that. I don't
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 3: know who it was.
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: J.Crew was one of those stores, too. You're just like,
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: am I a pedophile or am I a medium? You know, like,
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 1: you just couldn't even, nothing made any sense in those places, dude. No.
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: That was the weird part. Yeah, you felt weird. Oh, yeah,
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: look at it. Yeah, straight, and they would have, and
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: sometimes they would have live models standing out there, like,
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: come on in. Yeah. That was weird. I worked at
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: one for a little while. I worked in the back, though.
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: Back with the sloths. Back there ringing the bell for whatever,
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: you know, ringing the church bell or whatever. It's lunchtime, y'all.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Get your six packs. Back in the steam room. Yeah.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: They would let me out sometimes to wash people's six
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 1: packs in the front.
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 3: I had to oil them sometimes. But with the spray,
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 3: I didn't have to do the towel thing. It was like,
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: Bet dude bet what were the best things about being
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: a mall cop.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 3: The leniency of not having like a boss hanging over
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 3: your head sometimes because with having the badge you were
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 3: able to go places and nobody would fucking question you
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 3: and flat out I'm a pothead so the best thing
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 3: about being a mall cop and I think why I
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 3: stayed there so long was because I had so many
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 3: hiding places I had so many like resources for free
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 3: food Um, people watching was great. You know, there was
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 3: just like those small things, but the majority of it
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 3: was just not having somebody breathing down your neck 24 seven.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 3: Cause you were like your own boss, you know, a
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 3: lot of mall cops are a lot of mall security.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 3: You'd only be like one or two guys, you know,
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 3: four at the most, if it was like a busy mall,
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 3: it's like one or two guys.
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: And the one guy that's walking around in the platoon
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: or whatever.
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 3: And then it's just like, I'm just by myself, you know?
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 3: And that's always good. It's just always good. Until somebody
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 3: makes a call of a lost kid or some shit,
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 3: and you're like, I gotta go.
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: Would you ever be, would you be high a lot
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: of times? Most of the time.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 3: And if any security guard, if any fucking security guard
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 3: at a mall says that they weren't stoned or not
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 3: stoned or doesn't have a pin in their pocket, now,
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 3: you're not a real security guard.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: You're not. Oh, yeah. Security, it's stoned 24-7. I will
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 1: never hide that fact. But while... That had to be
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: so scary. You get a call for a missing kid,
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: and then, like, 30 seconds later, you forget what you're
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: looking for, and you just buy an Annie's pretzel or whatever. Oh, shit, yeah.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? And the mom's like, have
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: you found him? You're like, who? You know? Like, I don't...
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: I'll admit it.
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I'll admit one time, yeah, I was getting
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 3: really high in the parking lot, and a call comes
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 3: over that.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 1: A boyfriend had shown up to....
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 3: One of the stores and the girl had already called
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 3: the cops already told the managers. So we were aware
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 3: of this boyfriend that was being abusive. So I get
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 3: the call. Hey Gus, uh, girl's boyfriend's back. This and that.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 1: Can you head towards the store?
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 3: I 100% was like confident that I was going to
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 3: make this call.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, no problem. No problem. I'll be
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 1: there right now. I'm on my way.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 3: I'm actually walking, but I was in the parking lot smoking.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 3: I put my radio down. I go back to my phone.
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 3: I go back to the blunt that's lit, and I
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 3: start scrolling through my phone, thinking, all right, let me
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 3: just hit this a couple more times, and I'll get
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 3: out of here. About 10 minutes later, a call comes, says, hey,
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 3: the police are coming now. The guy hit the girl.
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I fucked up.
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: So I'm putting it out. I'm fucking putting the sanitizer on,
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 1: fucking clone and everything, deodorant.
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 3: And I'm fucking running towards the thing. And the first
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 3: thing I do, Theo, I can't make this up. I
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 3: looked around, nobody was watching. I take, I had these
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 3: little scissors in my, I had this like little knife,
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 3: but it had the scissors in it. I took the
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 3: scissors and I cut my pants. I took dirt and
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 3: I went like this and I came up limping.
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where were you? I'm like, I fucking fell.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: And I tripped and I rolled my ankle. And I
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 1: was calling you guys, but nobody was fucking answering me.
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 1: And they're like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm fine.
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 3: Totally lied that I rolled my ankle and fell. It's
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 3: because this girl got hit by her boyfriend.
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 5: Damn.
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, to this day. I'm sorry. No. To this day,
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 1: I feel bad. Yeah, you should have been there. Should
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: have been there. Should have ran to the thing. But
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't think that was going to happen. But then. No,
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 1: you didn't. That's not true. You were hot. You were
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 1: fucking hot. I guess you didn't think it was. Yeah,
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: you didn't think it was serious. I didn't think he
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: was going to go in and hit her. Yeah, you're right.
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: My bad. My bad. Because it was like.
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 3: The stories where he was just coming up and yelling
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 3: at her for like rent money or whatever the fuck
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 3: he was asking.
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: Because he kept asking for money.
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 1: But I didn't think he was gonna hit her.
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 3: But the story went and she got in his face
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 3: and they started doing this and bumping each other and
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 3: he had pushed her and hit her or something. I
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 3: was like, fuck, I would have been there for that.
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 3: I would have so been there for that. But instead,
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 3: I was watching fucking videos.
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: Can't win them all, man. Nah. And I bet there
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 1: was a lot of ones that you won. Gus Parsons,
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: Mall Cop, we appreciate you, man. Thanks for keeping things secure.
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: And yeah, man, thanks for spending your time with us today.
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: I appreciate everything you've done for me, man. I can't
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 1: thank you guys enough. Oh, yeah, it's been a blast, man.
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Now I'm just floating.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 2: On the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 2: leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 2: that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 2: I can feel it in my bones
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: But it's gonna take