Latest / The Impossible Life / 347. The Trait That Gives a Man Authority & Respect

Transcript

347. The Trait That Gives a Man Authority & Respect · The Impossible Life

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: That's impossible. Let me tell you what I believe. That
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: your weakness is not your technique.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Yes!
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yes! Don't think you are.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Know you are.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: The Impossible Life Podcast. You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: An idea that is fully formed, fully understood.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: That sticks.
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: This is the Impossible Life Podcast. because Nick and I
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: Impossible is a default label, used by uncourageous people, unwilling
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: to take a risk.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: The real truth is this.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: The solution to any impossible task starts with this question.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: If I had to, what would it take?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I'm your co-host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across at
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: a man whose word is so strong, contracts ask him
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: to co-sign them.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: That's right, friends, the former Navy SEAL, Garrett.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Unklebach, a man whose word is so strong, notaries just
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: watch him talk. Never need a notary in your life.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: How does that work? Self-notarized. Self-notarized. Boom. Stamp approval. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: said it. Take it to the bank.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Nice. All right.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Well, gee, today's tools and tactics is being a man
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: of your word. And dude, this is a core one.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I'm actually, I feel like I'm you now because I'm going,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'm so surprised.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: It's been 347 episodes.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: We've mentioned this in other episodes, but I'm trying to,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: on Tools and Tactics, just so you all know our thinking,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: we're trying to give you core things that if you
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: just do them, it'll change your life. Because there's some
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: things that require a lot of understanding. Less mindset heavy.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: It's less mindset heavy. And maybe even less principle understanding
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: at times. Or less wisdom required.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: To grasp.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's basic training. Just go do this and then
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: you'll get it later. That's kind of what these are.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: And this is a big one. So let's take it
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: back to the year of 2020. The world was in
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: a chaotic situation and a young man, who was me
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: at the time, decided to reach out to a former
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Navy SEAL and say, hey, I want to get coaching
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: with you. So he's like, great, come meet me in
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: a coffee shop first. We'll sit down for an hour
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and you can find out what I'm about and we'll
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: make sure that we're a good fit. So I go
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: and meet you in the Star Frisco, I'll never forget it.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I sat down, you were already there of course, arrived early,
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: we're facing the door, exactly everything I expected the.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Navy SEAL to be doing. You had a very intense
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: look on your face.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I sat down and I remember we were talking about
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: different things And as we were going, I was like, okay,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: I definitely need to be with you. But the thing
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: that you said that I'll never forget more than anything,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: you looked at me dead in the eye and you
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: said something that people don't understand. And that like, I often,
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: my wife will make fun of me about, but I
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: would rather, I would rather die than break my word.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: And you had like the most intense look, which I've
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: now understood is just your normal look. on your face
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: as you said it. And I remember when you looked
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: me in the eye, I was like, I've heard a
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: lot of people talk about their word and I'm like, whatever,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I don't believe you. But I really believe that you
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: would rather die than break your word in that moment
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: because it was such an intense thing. And that was
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: my overwhelming takeaway from the first time I ever talked
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: to you one-on-one. And as I've gone on in time,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I realized why you said that because that is one
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: of those things. Honestly, if you just did that, I
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: truly believe so much of your life would change because
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: of what's required of you to be the type of
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: person that when you give your word, you always keep it.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: And so today's tool and tactic is how to be.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: A man of your word. And here's the tool, keep
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: your word.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: And you're like, wait a minute, aren't you guys going
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: to give me the four super secret things of how
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: to do it?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: We're going to go into what that will do for
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you today.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: And yes, we're going to talk about some of the
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: things that need to happen for you to do that.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: But this one is really simple. If you give your word,
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: absolutely keep it in all the time. And, and, and
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: so let's dive into it more G, but like the core.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: I would say the tool, I would say the tool
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: is authority. And if you understand what a tool is, right,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: it's like, I can give it to you, but if
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: you don't know how it works and you don't know
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: how to use it, it's not worth much to you. Maybe,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: you know, some tools are intuitive, like a hammer. Maybe
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: this is more of a tool, like a level, or
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: a plum guide that if you, if you don't know
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: how it works and I hand it to you, you
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: can say this thing's weird looking. But once you learn
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: how authority works, it becomes very powerful and it does
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: things that no other thing can do. So let's talk
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: about keeping your word. Let's talk about authority. Let's talk
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: about what's going to happen in your life. You know,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: for example, if I give you a level, it's like, Hey,
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: you know how, you know, you build a house and
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: it's never really quite square and the walls aren't straight.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: We can fix that, right? It's called a level. Let's
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: talk about what will happen in your life if you
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: decide to start keeping your word. But before we jump
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: into that, one of my favorite scriptures, my mentor gave
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: me this one, my favorite scriptures on the value of
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: your word and the value of your name. Psalms 138
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: verse two, I will worship towards your holy temple and
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: For you have magnified your word above all your name. Now,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: how wild is this? It says that God puts his
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: word above his name. God's put his word above his name.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: And why is that? Because if your word isn't worth anything,
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: then your name's not worth anything either.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Wouldn't you like it to be that wherever you go,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: that people, oh, here comes Nick. Here comes James. Here
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: comes Tim. We know Tim will do what he says.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Because Tim's here, things are going to get better. We
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: should listen to Tim. Tim is very followable. All of
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: this comes from this quality of making your word worth something.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: God lifted his word above his name, right? And this is,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you go back to the Old Testament,
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: what you see is, you know, God keeps promises to
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Solomon because of what he said to David. God keeps
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: promises to Isaac and Jacob and the children thereafter said,
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Because I said this to Abraham. God does stuff with Solomon.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: He's like, I'm doing this for you because I said
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: this to David. God keeps his word, right? And so
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: this is an important quality. God demonstrates one of the
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: most important characteristics in being dependable. Your words are an
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: extension of your character, right? Truly, your words tell us
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: who you are. Numbers 23, 19, God is not human
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: that he should lie. Not a human being that he
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Does he promise and not fulfill? You know, none of
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: us are perfect. I'm certainly not. And these are things
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: that we all do sometimes, right? So what I'm saying
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: today is not, hey, listen to this podcast and become
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Superman perfect. And you never, you do, you know, this is,
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: it's the challenge of integrity. The definition of integrity is
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: that what you say meets reality. It's a very difficult
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: standard to live up to. I'm not saying that you
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: can or that I can help you get to 100%
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: of you do exactly what your word says, but I
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: promise you, you can get a lot closer. But you
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: should also be aiming for 100%. A lot of people
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: think 90% keeping their word is good enough. A lot
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: of people think 90% listening to what the Bible says
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: is good enough. That's not what God's looking for. You
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: should constantly be pushing yourself Did I do what I say?
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: How can I be a man of more integrity? How
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: can I live up to every single thing that I've
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: told someone? Not that I can control everything, but I'm
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: going to do what I said I would do.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: And I think that's where so many people, you said 90%.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's a pretty high rating. I
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: think because it's so common for people to break the
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: word like, oh, hey, we should hang out. And then
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: you never hear from that person again. Or like, yeah, man,
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I'll call you. And then you never hear from that
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: person or they don't, they completely like whiff on it.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And there's so many times when people break their word
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: or like people, if you're in business, like people purposely
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: try to deceive that now, if you're the person that like,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: you know, kind of goes, Hey, I'm going to, I'm
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: going to do this. And you actually did it that
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: one time that becomes good. And you stop questioning the,
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: like you stop even questioning when people break their word.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: And to me, that's your standard slipping so low in
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: your life that it becomes very dangerous. And so the
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: very first thing as far as understanding this is just
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: this concept of how, like what you just laid out
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: about God putting his word above his name and the
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: importance that he puts on it. the very first thing
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: is to highlight and realize, hang on, this is a
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: big deal. And so I think if you first have
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: a piece of awareness, now you can start to understand
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: what it's going to actually do for you. And we're
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: going to fast forward because when you said it to me,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, that's pretty intense. And I didn't
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: realize how you're very good at picking up on things
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: that a lot of people overlook. But having walked this
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: out in my own life, I always point back to
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: it because it was six plus years ago now that
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: we had that conversation, G. And I promise you every day,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: When I'm with clients, like I'll say to clients, I'll
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: be like, you don't understand. Keeping my word is really
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: important to me. So when I tell you this, I'm
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: going to do it. And I'm not a hundred percent.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: So if I mess up, I apologize to people. I go,
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: you don't understand. I, this is massively important to me
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: and I didn't do what I said I was going
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: to do. So I'm going to make this right. And
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: people are kind of like, okay, man, like chill out. Well,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: think about, um, just to, just to kind of show
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: you both sides of this. A lot of the times
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: people are, when you're doing that, Nick, what you're saying
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: is this is for me. This matters to me, right?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Like I know you'll be happy. You'll be happy that
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I kept my word, but I'm being, I'm making this
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: such a big deal because it matters to me. Was
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: God trying to prove, anything about who he was? No,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: he's saying this is who I am. Where you use
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: your words incorrectly is when you're trying to use your
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: words to get something from someone. People will over promise
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: because they're trying to get someone to agree to something.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: People will tell people what they want to hear because
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: they want to make the person happy.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: They want to make the pain go away in a situation.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: When you're using your words for those things, you're going
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: to get yourself into the worst contracts. When you're using
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: your words because this is what I believe. This is
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: what I'm standing on. This is, let me show you
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: who I am. Then your words lead to a different outcome.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: The goal of what we're talking about today, not trying to,
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: you know, get you to be better at keeping your promises.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: It's what this could sound like. And it's not what
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: we're trying to achieve. What I want you to be
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: is a man who says what exactly what you do, right?
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: This is what I'm going to do. And you do
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: it become the kind of man that your words and
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: your actions are are the exact same thing. That's what
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: I want to see happen from this. And so we're
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: going to talk about how that works. We're going to
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: go through a few promises of, hey, if you'll do this,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: here's what's going to happen. Here's how you'll change. Here's
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: how everything in your life will change. I promise you,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: you want to be this type of man. You have
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: more peace, by the way, when you do this. And
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: it's not even one of the things that we're going
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: to talk about for the main things. But you have
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: so much more peace in your life when it's just,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be someone who does what I say.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: You feel better. You have so much anxiety in your
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: life from trying to deal with, oh, well, you know,
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: I know I said this, but I also said this
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: to this person. And I also want to be able
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: to do this. And I don't really want to do
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: the thing that I said I was going to do.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Be someone that your life follows your mouth.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, people ask all the time, like, how do
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I get, you know, I don't feel like my kids
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: respect me, or I don't feel like my wife will follow.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Me, or I don't feel like people listen to me.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: listen up.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: This is like, this is 100% for you because you
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: would ask them the question, why wouldn't somebody want to
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: follow you? Why wouldn't somebody respect you? Why wouldn't somebody
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: listen to you? And it's because of this. So G
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: you've been, you've been watching this a lot longer than
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I have. Just one more example. Just one more example
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: on that really quick. You know, I know many men
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: can relate to this. Hey, your wife asks you to
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: do something simple, right? Like, Hey, will you take out
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: the trash? And you say, okay, I'll take out the trash.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: And then your wife comes back a few minutes later
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: and says, well, you're not taking out the trash. That's
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: their level of uncomfortability between the bondage of your words
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: and your actions. You can also communicate clearly of, hey,
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I'll do it now. I'll do this five minutes from now.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I'll do this in 30 minutes. I'll do it when
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I finish this task. But the point that I'm making,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: and this isn't the most perfect analogy, but the point
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: that I'm making is that when your word is worth
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: a lot, it's not that people won't still ask, but
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: it's a different interaction, right? Where when you say, hey,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this thing that people, what you
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: should want in your life is that when you say,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this, people don't have to ask
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: you again. And you're never going to get to a
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: perfect place of that. But I promise you, if you
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: live by what we're talking about here, you're going to
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: get less of the negative, frustrating follow up that you've
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: been having in your life.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Or people say, why aren't you doing the thing? Because
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: they think they're the ones that have to push you
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: to do it.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, very good. So let's jump into it. You've been
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: doing this longer than I have.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, three big pieces here. Three promises of keeping your word.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Number one, and this is how your life's going to
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: get better. This is how you're going to change when
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: you start keeping your word. Number one, keeping your word
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: builds you. Every single time you keep your word, especially
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: in the times where you don't really feel like it,
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: you don't want to do it, you are building something
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: inside yourself.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: This is what Nick was talking about when he's telling
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: a client, Hey, I, I know you don't think this
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: is a big deal. It's a big deal to me, right?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: What you're doing is you're developing trust with yourself. It's
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: called self-trust. You went, uh, if you continually, let me
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: tell you the flip side of this. If you're continually
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: telling yourself, uh, you know, I'll start tomorrow. Um, you know,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: I'll be there at seven. You show up at seven
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Oh five. I'll finish it, but you don't finish it. You'll,
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: kick it down the can for a few days. You say,
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: I'm going to stop doing that, but you don't stop
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: doing it. You say, I'm going to get up in
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: the morning at five o'clock, but you don't get up
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: at that time. You say, I'll call him back, but
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: you don't call him back. You keep doing these things
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: and you think they're of little consequence. They actually have
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: a huge consequence. When you keep doing this, what you
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: are telling your mind is that I don't actually have
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: to do what I say. It's what you are literally
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: training yourself to, I could make a ridiculous movie reference
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: right now, but I'll skip that. You are training yourself
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: to be a fool. You're training yourself. Hey, I don't
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: have to do the right things. Think about going to,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: you know, boxing class and your trainer is trying to
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: teach you, right? A good boxing coach is going to
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: teach you to keep your guard up, right? Because if
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: you throw a jab, right? And your other hand leaves
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: your chin, right? A good boxing coach is going to remind,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: he's going to tap you in the face and say, Hey,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: keep your guard up.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: But a poor boxing coach is just going to like,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: let your hands fall down by your waist while you're
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: throwing jabs. And essentially that's what you're doing to yourself
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: is you are being a terrible coach of yourself. You're
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: being a terrible trainer. When you say things, Oh, I'm
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: going to, when you're telling yourself, I'm going to do this.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: And then you don't do it. You may, it's the
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: worst type of danger you can bring into your life.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: You're training yourself to, That when bad, like when negative
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: things happen, when people shoot at you, I'm just going
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: to run away, right? I'm not going to respond correctly.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to immediately respond with violence of action.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: And I'm making a reference to how you should respond
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: in combat to violence. You're training yourself to have the
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: worst reactions. I say stuff and I don't do it.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: You are making yourself weaker all the time. But on
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: the flip side, if you'll say, you know what? I
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: didn't really want to get up at five. And that
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: was kind of a stupid thing that I said. yesterday
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to get up at five. I actually
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: don't think of any good reason right now to get
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: up five, except I have one reason that matters. And
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: the reason is that I said I would do it.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: And I promise you, if you'll start living this way,
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: you might also not commit yourself so haphazardly in the past.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: The reason you'll say stupid things like, you know, it's
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: not stupid to get at five, but for somebody who
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: doesn't live that lifestyle, and maybe you don't have to
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: be at work till 9am and you don't normally get
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: up till 8.15 anyways, to just say something flippantly like,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get up at 5 a.m.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Well, you're not going to do it because you don't
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: have good reasons and you haven't kept your word to
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: get to that place. So one of the biggest things
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: is that keeping your word is going to build who
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: you are. Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: And you said it, G. I love all the examples
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: you give. You build it in the little things. Because
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: if you can't learn on the small things, you will
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: absolutely miss on the big things. I remember whenever I
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: was first grasping this, I would hone in on such
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: small things.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Exactly what you said. When my alarm went off, I
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: was like, get up now. You said it.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: It was from the word go. I remember I was
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: laying in bed with my wife And Rhian said to me,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: she's like, oh, hey, did you put out the trash cans?
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: And I said, no, because I told her I would.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And I'm literally, I'm in my pajamas, like we're lights out,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: we're getting ready to go. I'm like, I'm gonna go
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: do it now. And I got up out of my pajamas,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: flipped on, you know, put on a pair of flip flops,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: went outside. I believe it was cold and wet at
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: the time as well. And I dragged those things out
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: to the curb and put them in there. and then
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: came back and went to bed. I would normally never
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: remember putting out trash cans, but it was such a
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: big thing because I knew what I was doing. I
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: was showing my wife that she could trust me in
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: all the little things because the small choices lead to
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: the big results.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: That can seem like such a little thing, but actions
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: like that are what we're talking about. I'll tell you,
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: actions like that are the positive symptoms of listening to
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: this podcast.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Because the normal man, a weak man, and I would
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: say a low T man is going to be in
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: bed with his wife at that point and say, oh, honey,
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I know I said I would do it,
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: but is it okay if I don't? You should never
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: ask your wife that question. Hey, will you give me
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: a pass on doing what I said I would do?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: You need to do what you said.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: And this is Matthew. This is Matthew 5, verse 37.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: It's very simple. Let your yes be your yes and
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: let your no be your no. when you keep your word,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: it's developing your discipline because what you're like, how is
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: this developing? Your discipline is doing what you said you
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: would do. That's the pure definition of it. But where we,
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: we fail in discipline is because we listen to the
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: wrong things. And every time you do those little things
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: that you don't want to do, but you said you
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: were due, you're teaching yourself that your words and your
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: decisions outrank your emotion. So that's, this is number one.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: Number one is it builds you. But number two is it,
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Keeping your word, this is a beautiful benefit. Keeping your
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: word creates trust around you, right? Keeping your word doesn't
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: only change you, it changes all the environment that you're in.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: People begin to know, okay, if he said it, if
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Nick said it, if John said it, I can build
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: on that, okay? What is God's word.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: In our life?
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: What's the, you know, what is God's word? It's often
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: a to as it's our foundation, right? What are you
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: standing on? I'm standing on God's word. That's where you
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: should begin.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: And again, we're made in his image. My word is
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: not the word of God. However, the life around me,
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: the environment around me, my employees, my team, my friends,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Everyone that I work with, the people that I'm doing
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: anything with, guys at Mighty Men, they get to build
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: on something that I said. Now, if it's not worth anything,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: if it's weak, it's hard for people to build anything. Well,
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: it's like you said this today and then you did
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: that tomorrow. And now you said this today and I
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: don't know what you're going to do tomorrow. It doesn't
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: make sense to me. Versus we are able, I make
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: decisions in my life. You know what? God said it.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: So I don't need to check. I don't need to
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: have mystery or doubt in my mind about what's going
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: to happen. I already know what's going to happen. I
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: know who God is. So what happens is when you
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: develop word like this, it allows people around you to
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: build on it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: And that's enormous.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: This is giving your wife the ability to build on
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: your word. You know, maybe I don't have to nag
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: my husband anymore because he actually does what he says.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Your children can build on your word, right? Your children
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: need you so deeply. And what they need is you
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: to show up, is you to be there. And your
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: words matter too. Your business partners can build on your work.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Your friends, your brothers, everyone you work with. And one
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: of the things as it relates to that is, this
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: is like a more practical things I learned in the
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: SEAL teams, is that this trust, this level of word,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: excuse me, this level of word of, hey, I'll be here,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: I'll do this. I risked my life and I had
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: other guys do the same when I said like, okay,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I got this building, right? What they know is I'm
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: going to go clear that building with my squad and
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: we're going to hold security up there. And they're counting
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: on that. If I don't do that, they're putting themselves
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: at risk. But what this does is that trust, it
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: creates speed. It creates safety. It creates strength in your relationships.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: I can count on you. I know you're going to
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: do what you said. When someone's word isn't worth very much,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: It means every single person around them has to compensate.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Have you ever had someone like this on your team?
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Have you ever had someone like this in your business?
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, we know John said he'd have his
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: report in by Friday, but he won't. It's going to
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: be Monday. So we'll tell the client we'll complete the
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: product on Wednesday.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Then everyone's always having to check up on this person.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: You know, did he actually do it? Let's go check
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: up on him. Do we need a backup for this situation? Nick,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: you know this. You provide valuable product to your clients
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: and they need to know that you're going to be
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: able to deliver on time.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Is he going to show up?
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: Is the product going to be good? This is people
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: who don't keep their word. unreliable people, okay? Unreliable people.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: In the military, they call this being a liability, right?
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: But unreliable people, you create invisible work for everyone around you.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: When you can't be counted on, you're just getting in
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: the way. You're making everybody else pick up the slack
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: for you. Very reliable men, men who keep their word,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: they do the opposite. They remove all of this. But
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: you are a pain to everyone around you when you
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: can't keep your word. This is Proverbs... 25, 19. This
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: one's a slap in the face, like a broken tooth
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: a time of trouble, man.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: And you know, you gave the examples of work and
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: what happens in work is like, you'll eventually probably be
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: let go of that place. You know what happens that
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: where it really costs you even more is you said
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: it creates invisible work. If you're creating invisible work for
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: your wife and you're creating invisible work for your kids,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: you're giving them things that they were never meant to carry.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: And that's where you really need to think about what
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: it's costing you, because that's the cost that people don't
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: account for.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, my wife, she asked me to do something.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Then she just goes and do it. It's annoying.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: That's on you, bro. That's because you've trained your wife
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: that she can't rely on you. So she's constantly having
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: to follow up with you and be like, hey, did
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: you do this? It's because you're not very good at
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: keeping your word. Like that should be red lights flashing
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: for you. Now we're talking like. Let me give you
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: a little, I told you the story about getting out
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: of the bed for the trash.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Same story.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Because me and my wife, we always end up at
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: bed tonight. That's like where we connect. We have our
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: daily check-in. And I said something that made her mad
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: and that she did not like. And she said, I
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: don't like when you're doing that. Like, I don't want
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: you to do that. And so I literally said, I said, hey,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I won't ever do it again. And like,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: normally when that happens, then there's another response of like,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: because this is how it makes me feel. And you know,
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: when you did this and I remember you did it
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: this time, that's normally how those conversations go. I was just,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: at least in my relationship, I know nobody else's marriage
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: is like that. But for me, that was the way
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: it had gone in the past. And I remember I said,
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I said, I won't do it again.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: And she's like, okay.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: And she's like, do you want to watch? Like she started,
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: she switched the subject. Like, what do you want to
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: watch before we fall asleep? And I was like, I
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: remember in my head, I was like, that's it. Like
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: we're done. And I remember it was like, it was,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I had such a moment of realizing, I was like,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: this is the value of all the small things. Now
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I had to keep my word, but I knew when
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I said it to her, I was like, I said
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: it with the same firmness. I say everything else when
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: it came to my word and realizing that I didn't
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: have to go through any of that. And that I
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: had actually earned that level of trust, dude, huge unlock.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Like you can't, you literally can't buy that. So I
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: was like, that was a moment for me.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: It's a perfect example. I mean, here's, here's the last piece.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Here's the great value. in keeping your word. It gives
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: your word weight. Wouldn't you like it if when you spoke,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: people moved. When you spoke, people instantly believed. Then when
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: you spoke, people took action. When you spoke, people made decisions.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: This is the great value of keeping your word. This
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: is really the highest level. You don't get this instantly, right?
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: It takes time to build this. But when a man
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: constantly keeps his word, you have this beautiful thing called authority.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: And this is the tool that we're telling you about, right?
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: You want this tool, it changes everything in your life, right?
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: It changes your leadership, changes your influence, changes your impact,
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: but you don't just get authority overnight. You have to
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: learn how to use it. People who have authority, they
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: don't have to talk for 35 minutes to convince you
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: that they're going to do what they say. They just say, okay,
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: this is what we're going to do next, right? When
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: you have history And a man says, I'm going to
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: take care of that. I'll handle it. I'll finish it.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: People immediately say, OK, we're good to go. Let's talk
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: about the next item. They believe you when you say
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: something's going to change. And where this comes from is
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: credibility compounds in your life. Credibility isn't just built through communication.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: It's built through consistency. Not just I kept my word,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: but I am a keeper of my word. It's not
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: I did it one time. It's we can't remember the
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: last time you didn't do it. And when you become
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: that person and you have so many more interactions with
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: people of you doing what you say versus you not
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: doing what you say, then people are going to you
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: make decisions easy for people as a leader, as a
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: as a father. If you're a business owner, any of
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: the places that you lead, when you have authority, you
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: give grace to your team.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Think about if if God wasn't someone. Think about if
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: God kept his word most of the time. Life's already
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: really hard and God's perfect. What if he wasn't?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: It would make things so much more difficult for us
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: because we're thinking, well, is he actually going to do
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: it this time or is he not going to do it?
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: And that's what you do to the people in your
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: life when you're not someone who keeps your word. It's
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: not that you can be perfect, but you need to
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: understand how important this quality is and that we aspire
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: to be this way. And this is strong language, Ecclesiastes 5,
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: verse 4 and 5. When you make a vow to God,
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: do not delay to fulfill it. It is better not
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: to make a vow than to make one and not
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: fulfill it. And there's wisdom here that goes beyond just
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: keeping your promises, right? And really the strength of keeping
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: your word, there's a second part of it. It's not
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I just beat myself into doing it. everything I said
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I was going to do, which you need to do.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: But what will happen is over time, when you're someone
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: who's been very consistent, when you have a high batting average,
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: you think you're mindful of it every time you get
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: in the batter's box. I have to defend the quality
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: of my reputation. And what's going to happen is you
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: won't casually give your word out. One of the marks
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: of maturity, and especially a mark of maturity in this
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: specific category, is that you don't carelessly make commitments. Oh, yeah,
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I'll do that. I'll do this. You know, being in
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: the role, just being in the role that I've been
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: in in the last couple of years, I've already I
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: was already strong in this quality. But it made me
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: be very mindful of any commitment I make to anyone
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: because I don't just speak for myself. I speak for
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: an entire company. And so when you make it, when
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: you have this quality, you won't be so quick to
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: make commitments. You know, it's better to maybe just disappoint
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: someone a little bit in the moment than to make
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: a commitment that you're not going to be able to
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: fulfill immediately. Mature men understand that if I give you
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: my word, I have just obligated my future self. You're
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: writing a check and a lot of people are out
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: there writing checks that their bank account can't cash. But
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: when you start to develop a large bank account, you
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: realize I'm going to be very protective of my checkbook.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: So what I would say to you is it's very simple, right?
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: We'll wrap up today's lesson on being a man of
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: your word and making your words matter. Say less, commit
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: carefully and follow through relentlessly.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much for listening, guys. Remember to share, like, subscribe.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: If you think that this would be something that someone
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: would enjoy, please send it to them. We appreciate it all.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: If you want to get in touch, you can follow
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: us on Instagram at The Impossible Life.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: You'll find us on there.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: You can also email at impossiblelifepodcast at gmail.com. If you
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: have any questions, if you want to get in touch
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: and find out about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: the way to do it.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Thank you again for listening. Go out there, think better,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: and live the impossible. See you again soon.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you.