Latest / A Heart That Beats for Home / 50. The Midlife Edit with Shannon Blas - Part 1

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50. The Midlife Edit with Shannon Blas - Part 1 · A Heart That Beats for Home

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey friends, I'm Nikki Smith, your host here at A Heart that Beats for Home, the podcast where we're ditching filters and diving headfirst into the raw beauty of all things home.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Now, I am no expert when it comes to this whole parenting and marriage dance.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm simply a gal who's been riding the mom roller coaster for 22 years and a wife still untangling the mystery of it all 25 years after saying I do.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: My goal is to bring you unapologetically messy and boldly genuine conversations about cultivating strong families.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, possibly cry, and straight talk about the joy and chaos that comes within the four walls that we call home.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: No judgment and certainly no perfection, just real talk from my heart, a heart that beats for home.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Let's dive in.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Hello friends, welcome back to another week here at A Heart that Beats For Home, excited to have a special guest with us today.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I told you at the beginning of season two that this year we were going to be diving into a little bit more of midlife for mamas.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I know that we have a lot of young listeners.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: We also have a lot of listeners that are in the perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause stages and just going to take a dive this year into some of those conversations that I think are so needed, and my dear friend Shannon Blass.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I have known Shannon my goodness now, I think, 20 years.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: We have done two decades of life together, so when our friendship started we weren't even thinking perimenopause and menopause.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: We were moms to young children.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Shannon lives in Southern California with her amazing husband, abe, who is just a gem, and has one son, jacob, who is soon to be married.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Shannon is an entrepreneur, she is a businesswoman.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: She knows how to just attract others to her.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: She has got the sweetest spirit and recently now has the title of author.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Shannon has written a journal called Thriving to 50 and Beyond and also just created an online class called the Midlife Edit.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And so Shannon and I are just going to dive into a fun girlfriend's conversation.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: We're inviting you guys along, get your coffee, get your matcha, get your tea and just join us on this fun conversation.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: So, shannon, welcome.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Tell my listeners just a little bit about you, aw thank you, nikki.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: It's so fun to think back on how long we've known each other.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, because when we met our kids were little and now they're just getting older and it's just.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: It's so fun to think back through all of our memories together.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: But a little bit about me.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I was born and raised in Seattle and I worked as a registered dietitian for 10 years.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: So I've always had a huge passion for health and wellness and in our 30s my husband and I kind of decided we wanted to live where there was more sunshine.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: So we ended up moving from Seattle to San Diego and that was 20 years ago now, almost 21 years ago and we just kind of planted life here and just decided that we were going to start our own businesses.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: So I had gotten into real estate and was doing pretty well with that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I was able to partner with a big team and I remember when my son was in I was seven years old so what is that first grade?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: And I remember just thinking like gosh, if I keep working like this and working every weekend, I'm going to miss his childhood.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: And I know you and I just our role as mom is one of our favorite, if not our favorite role, and so that's when I kind of went down more of an entrepreneurial, you know, sort of journey with our health and wellness company, and then in midlife, after I raised him, is when I kind of had this whole new season that I know we're going to talk about.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I've known you through these different generations of who we are.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: If you're a young mom listening this probably feels like a conversation that maybe you're like, oh, I'll skip this podcast because this doesn't apply to me.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: But I want you guys to know that we're going to talk a lot about maybe some hindsight that could be your foresight about maybe some things that we would have done a little bit differently to prepare for this season.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Shannon, you said one thing when we were just chatting before we hit the record button, and it was the statement about you know, you have these different stages of life.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: You just touched on the parenting one, being a mama, and yes, we will be moms forever but, as we both know, with older kids that role of mom changes drastically.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: And just looking at life and how there's these pockets of time, and then you said but this empty nester stage now is a really large, one of the largest chunks of time probably in our lives.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: How has that just been an adjustment for you, walking into that, especially only having the one child?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: So when Jacob was gone it was like cut and dry.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: How has that been an adjustment for you?
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Well, it's such an interesting way to think about it because I think, as young moms you know, you're just always sort of waiting for, or just waiting for, the next stage or you're sometimes it's hard to be present and I think the hindsight of that is, whatever you can do and I know you hear this a lot but just be as present as possible for that time, because it is you, think about it.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Our kids are done with high school, around 18.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: So you think, 18 years of your life you have them in your home and then the stage of having an adult child, which I will tell you is the most awesome thing ever, that's like for the rest of your life.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: So imagine that, like, however old you're going to be when your child is 18.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Well, my son is 25 and I'm 54.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I hope to live for many, many, many years.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So think I have 25, 30, 50 years left having an adult child, right.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So you really want to look at that stage as like, looking forward to it, looking forward to that stage with your kiddos.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: So I think for me what was interesting is our son played college baseball and so our empty nesting kind of started when he went off to college because it was that feeling when you went by their room and that's just something you can't explain, you just when you feel it.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: You feel it.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: It's just a little bit of grieving, knowing that that stage is done.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: But then we got to be really involved in his college and then after college he actually moved home for a couple of years to save money, like many of these kiddos are doing right now.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: And so my true empty nesting started about a year and a half ago when he was 24 and officially moved out, has a job, is self-supported, has a fiance, now is getting married.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of my journey with empty nesting.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: So I'm not sure if I actually answered your question, but that's just what came to my mind when you said that.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, that's perfect, and it is an interesting concept that you brought up, because empty nesting doesn't like happen at the same time for everybody.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Our daughter also plays college sports, so you they go away to college, but you do get to go several times a week for a lot of the year to watch games.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Another daughter is doing college locally, so she's gone all day, every day, working her booty off, but still sleeps here at night and so it's.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: It's a different letting go and then still having a 15-year-old.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: So as I'm looking ahead, I know that probably in four to five years I will be drastically hit with, like everybody's gone.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: My husband travels a lot for work and it can feel scary and I don't think as women we talk enough about that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I was talking with a girlfriend and she said imagine if your spouse, like new, like in all the stuff that you've worked for, you've given your whole life about that.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I was talking with a girlfriend and she said imagine if your spouse knew, like, in all the stuff that you've worked for, you've given your whole life to your career, you have poured every ounce into something and in four years it's just gone Preparing for that.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: What made you come to this place Because I'm sure in your 30s you never thought I am going to write a course called the Midlife Edit and I'm going to help women, through menopause and empty nesting, live this second half of their life really well.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: What was the journey that brought you to this place that you were like, hey, I need to make some changes.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I want to live this stage really well and then I want to help other women get through it really well.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Such a good question.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so there was a couple like pivotal things that happened.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: And one is when I knew, once the college baseball was done and we were done traveling so much, and when he came to live with us, I really wanted to empower him as an adult and not be that overbearing mom, and I also wanted him to see me excel in my next chapter.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: And I was talking to a friend and we were just talking about hormones and you know that's like there's two sections to this, because we're talking empty nesting and then we're talking about how the fact that our bodies just change, hormones change.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: We start gaining weight, we're feeling bloated, we're tired, we have more anxiety, we're not sleeping well Like we could go on and on about the hormone piece of what happens to you.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: And I was talking to a friend and she said I'll never forget my mom was like the most vivacious, fun mom and as she aged I watched her light dim and her and I were talking.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I said I never, ever want Jacob to say that about me.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I never want to be the mom who's light dimmed.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: And so that's when I kind of started to take a deep dive into things and I'm like, okay, let's back up a little bit.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: We've raised our kids.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: We did the best we could with the information we had at the time.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: We had it in raising them Right.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: But if we spend a lot of time looking back at things we wish we would have done differently, that dims our light, that causes that anxiety, that regret.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: That's not a good state to live in for your kids.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Or if the opposite, we tend to be in a state of future thinking, then we have more anxiety because of all the what-ifs and our brains, especially with hormones.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: You guys, when you really learn about hormones and how much they mess with us mentally, if they're not in balance, you can go down rabbit holes on things with anxiety.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: So I kind of started it with what can I do right now to be present, and that was when I started really working on my first project, which is my thriving to 50 and beyond journal, and this journal really broke down.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Like you know, what is your ideal day look like, or not even ideal, just a good day, because I felt like, as I had more time and I wasn't committed to all of the mom sort of activities, I would just kind of go through my day and not really get things done.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: It was just like more procrastination, which isn't even my personality, but it just sort of felt like, oh, I can do that later.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: So it started with the journal, and the journal was really fun to write.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: It's a 90 day journal.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: It's really focusing on gratitude and getting organized, but also sleep, health, really mindset work in the journal and in doing the journal is where the midlife life edit course came to mind, because I was like I need to take a deeper dive into these topics because women are really struggling and, let's face it, if your light dims, it's going to show up as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend, in any of the other roles that you play or that you are a part of.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: You don't want that.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't want that.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of how it started.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: So good.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I think that's probably how a lot of projects or things that people take on at different stages in your life they come from your own digging and researching to improve your own life.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: And when you start to realize some of that I know for me in some of the digging that I'm doing on the hormones, on all the different things it can almost make you so frustrated that why is this not so readily available?
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: If every single female in the world nobody gets exempt from like you, only like 25% of people have to go through menopause Every single person walks through this why is there not more information?
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: And so to have great resources to have people like you that have been willing to be vulnerable and be honest, I think is such a great asset and I'm so glad that we're having these conversations and I love that that you took something that you were hearing in a story from somebody else that my mom's light dimmed.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: That is when we think about that and I know for me having a conversation a little while ago with my husband and he just we were having some friction and he just said I don't know.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: The only way I can explain it is you just always seem annoyed and I was like, okay, that's a mental note, I need to take note of that and I need to help not excuse it, but also help them understand some of the stuff that I'm going through.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: But then I need to be aware and figure out how to adjust and how to change.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: What would you say are the main things that you contribute to thriving at this 54 years?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: What would you say are a couple of key things for you personally?
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: You know it's interesting that you said that Jed was talking about just you know, you kind of being annoyed all the time or whatever that's hormonal.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: So I think probably one of the number one things that women should do.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: And as a side note, they say, nikki, that our generation will be the first generation to openly talk about menopause and hormones changes, how I'm feeling, being more vulnerable, having that talk amongst friends, so that we can actually help each other.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: So I'm so glad that you brought that up.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: But my number one thing is I am a huge advocate of functional medicine.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I think everyone should have their labs drawn by a naturopath or a functional medicine doctor.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I Western medicine there's a time and a place for that 100%.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: But if you're going to the doctor and they're telling you you should go on an antidepressant, they're telling you that you know you're fine, everything looks good, your blood work looks great, your hormones are fine.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: But you know, in your heart, I am not me.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I feel blah, I feel like I just don't have like my energy.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like me anymore.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: It's not in your head.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: You're not alone.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: You are not the only person who feels like that.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: In fact, you are in the majority of midlife women that feel like that, and so we're just sort of taught just to like ignore it, or you know, we don't want to show up being not in a good mood for our husbands and our family, but it's not in our control.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: So I would say the number one thing that kind of took me down this path is I met an awesome naturopath.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: I started doing some videos for her just to help with some of our wellness programs that we have, and in talking to her I was thinking every woman needs to hear this.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: So I think number one is the hormone piece, and know you're not alone.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Number two is do something about it.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: It's all about movement, it's all about nutrition, it's all about mindset.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: It's all about digging into your passions, and that's kind of what my course is about, is it's seven modules digging into the things that you can control, because, let's face it, if you don't do anything about it, you're just going to feel that way, or if you keep doing all the things that you used to do, that used to work, nothing's going to change.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: So I think those would be my two things the things you can control and hormones, because we can't control hormones, we need help with that, right, right, and I just I mean side note.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Shannon and I are not medical doctors, but we will talk to you honestly about our own experiences.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: And I am on a BHRT bioidentical hormone replacement therapy path, which I believe is what Shannon has been as well through a natural path.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: They can be difficult to find but I have some great resources and Shannon I know, being in California, we can link the two that we use that are California and Illinois, and then I have a great resource for WorldLink Medical, which is highly trained hormone experts.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Through a more natural path journey.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: But just looking at labs, you know, shannon said you go to your normal doctor and they say, oh, it's all good, you're within range.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Well, range when you feel awful doesn't mean it's good range for you.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And looking at lab work and then talking to a hormone specialist and them going yeah, that's cute that they said that you were normal and everything on the traditional blood work is in the green and you're good.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: But really where you need to be is way over here for you to feel good.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And I think that we have had a lot of misinformation that has been out there.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: So if you hear HRT, bhrt and I would recommend bioidentical I'm sure Shannon would say the same naturally matching things that are already in our bodies.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: When you hear stuff that's scary, you need to do research, you need to go dig, and there's a lot of stuff that says there is a generation so probably our moms, the last 20, 30 years of women that totally didn't really have an option for the hormone replacement that we have now because of some bad studies that were done and some false information, and so that's interesting that you said our generation is going to be the first generation that talks about it openly, and maybe it's because we're the first generation that's really going to be able to see I felt this way and then now I feel this way because I was able to do something about it, which I think is really, really encouraging.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: So I could not agree with you more on that, and I'm early into this journey I know you're a couple years ahead of me, but just having somebody that's understanding it and in doing that research because you also brought this up, shannon you said you know you don't maybe need an antidepressant.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Now there are people that do need antidepressants, but I was shocked shocked to find out that the number one prescribed drug for a woman in menopause or perimenopause was an antidepressant, because I'm exhausted, I have brain fog, I feel sad, like all of these things are your typical.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe you have depression, but a depression medication in menopause might not be the answer.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: And so just to have that, that awareness, and to be able to know that you can go into your doctor and stand up for yourself, I think is really empowering too.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: And if something doesn't feel right, go look somewhere else.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: So I love that you brought up that piece and the take action piece.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: So in your journal you have this daily, the daily things that we can walk through.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: So tell us just a little bit more about how that journal works and tell people I believe that that is still on Amazon.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I know that's where I got my copy.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Walk us through a little bit of that journal before we go into maybe some of the seven things in your midlife edit course.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: So.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: The journal is set up where, at the beginning, you go through and you define your really good day.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: So my really good day is going to look different than Nikki's really good day, right?
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: So everybody's different.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: So there's a whole list of questions that really focus on that, because you need to get clear on what a really good day looks like for you.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Is that getting up?
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Is that sleeping in?
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Is that having you know appointments out of your house?
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Is that being more nestled in?
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Is that?
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: What kind of exercise are you doing?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: What makes you feel good?
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: So when you really break that down, it gets to be about you, and I think that is the thing that you want to remember in this stage of life.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Self-care is your best friend, because if you're doing all the self-care, that's going to help you show up differently when your husband comes home, when your kids are around, all those things, because you've done the things to fill your cup.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: We can never pour from an empty cup.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: So I would ask you what are you doing to fill your cup?
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: And those are some of the questions that we sort of go through in here.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And then, basically, what you do is you track how much sleep you get.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: And a little bit back to hormones.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to just talk about this for one second because we are not medical doctors.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I am not a hormone doctor.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I am not a medical professional.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I am not anything other than a 54 year old woman who's experienced life and had a lot of conversations.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: But if you think of it kind of in general, your, if you're low in progesterone, you probably have some anxiety or cause.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: That's your calming hormone.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Your progesterone is calming.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Estrogen is more your upbeat, your social right, and then testosterone is more motivation.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: But there's also cortisol and some other things that you want to have tested, because if your cortisol, your stress a lot is through the roof, you are not sleeping well, you are waking up at 3 am, you cannot go back to sleep, you can't get your mind to shut off, it is just going, going, going, and that is connected to blood sugars as well.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: So one of the things we do in this journal is track your sleep.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: How much sleep are you getting?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Are you getting seven to nine hours?
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Because if you're not, your cup is empty when you get out of bed in the morning because your body wasn't able to reset and restore and do all the things it needed to do to repair itself, to get up and be ready for the next day.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: The other thing is we focus on and if anyone knows me, I'm all about gratitude, so we're always focusing on gratitude.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: I heard something once that I you probably heard the same thing, nikki where if we took all of our problems and put them into a bowl and then we had to go and pick someone else's problem, we would probably stick with our own.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: So I think gratitude really does make you hone in on your own life and all the things that are amazing, and I think as we age we sort of realize all those little things are the most important things and I think really being in a state of gratitude helps that we also.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: I have a quote in there each day and just sort of a journal prompt and then the top three priorities for the day, the top.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: You can't have 50 priorities in a day.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: You got to pick your top three so that you can feel like you had some accomplishment.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: I once read that the definition of accomplishment is or the definition of happiness, rather, is accomplishment, and I truly believe that.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: You know, even if it's the laundry's done, even if you have dinner in the crock pot for later or you know, whatever.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: It's not these huge accomplishments, it's the mini accomplishments through the day.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: So when you get those top three that you know you need to get done today, when you sit down to do your evening check-in in the journal, you're going to feel like you were productive.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: So in the journal in the evening it's how did you move today?
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: What was your energy level, your fuel, which is your nutrition, and I really focus on protein, color and hydration and how much water you drank.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: And then I'm also a big, huge.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: This is in the course as well.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I'm a huge advocate for intermittent fasting in midlife.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I think it's a game changer for bloat weight gain, not eating more at night and letting your body fully digest.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I was someone who started putting on weight and I know I'm not.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I don't happen to be a very big person, but in high school I was about 20 pounds overweight, so I know what that feels like and I was able to figure out my body in my twenties, thirties and then in my late forties and especially in my fifties.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I'm like what is happening?
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: None of my clothes are fitting.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Everything's getting tight again.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: What is going on, so the things I did in my life in my twenties, thirties and forties.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Now it's like this isn't working.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: So I think this is just a good way to kind of check in, like is what I'm doing working?
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: And then just like a reflection of your day, so it's it kind of breaks your day down like that, and then at the end of the week you just kind of journal about your week.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Because I truly believe if you focus on having a really good day, that will create a really good week.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: If you have really good weeks, that's a really good month.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: If you have really good months, you can have a really good year.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: So that's kind of the breakdown of the journal.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: And one thing that you said that's so interesting I would put you and I, both knowing you for 20 years and working closely in a work environment is you and I are both highly motivated people and it is a very weird thing to be a very highly motivated person that used to be able to do a hundred things at a time that didn't get overwhelmed, and now all of a sudden you do.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: You feel like I don't even know where to start, I don't know what to do.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Your days start to, just, like you mentioned earlier, look different, the flow is different and simple things like it is crazy, the joy that knowing okay, I'm going to go finish All the laundry is going to get done and I'm going to clean out the pantry or I'm going to spend an hour doing this work thing.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: It's almost like going back to childhood, but you're training yourself Like what are your top three priorities?
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's something I would say to a high schooler all the time when there was overwhelm, because you can't, for some reason.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: It's this spiral of overwhelm and anxiety, but actually I have less on my plate and that has been a really hard thing for me to rationalize in my brain.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: How are my responsibilities becoming fewer?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I think one element of this is for those of you that have little kids.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: The day-to-day parenting, I would say, is physically exhausting.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: As your kids get older, you're having conversations about big life stuff and I feel like parenting is more emotionally and mentally and not like exhausting, like it's horrible.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It just takes a of availability maybe.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: That I didn't really understand and so I love that you pointed out like just something as simple as what am I going to get done today?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: So that's so great that you pointed that out.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: So somebody works through this.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: They start to create new habits.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: You start to work with your brain to just forge new pathways to be gentle with yourself, to be kind, to show up in gratitude, and I think it does.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: It's just those little things.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Over time we have to retrain ourselves, while also paying attention to the hormonal part and putting effort into getting that figured out.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: So let's jump a little bit into your midlife edit course.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: I love that it's called that.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I love a good edit in all areas of life.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I love the first part of this edit because it's not something that somebody would think.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: But the first one covers kind of an edit of your home and I'm kind of in that process now.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: I still have people living here so it's harder to totally do that, but what has that edit looked like for you?
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: Well, so it's called the Refresh your Nest module and I know Nikki if you guys don't know this about Nikki she's an incredible interior designer, she has impeccable taste and her house looks amazing.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: So I always love that about you, nikki.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: But this is like refreshing your nest in the sense of kind of like organizing and getting rid of stuff.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: You know, stuff is weight and I truly believe that your physical space is a reflection of how you feel mentally and think about that.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: When your desk is a mess, you feel overwhelmed.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: When you clean out your closet and you walk in for the first time, you feel amazing, right, you just like or you talked about cleaning out your pantry like nothing better than walking out your pantry, like nothing better than walking into your pantry and it's all organized and you got rid of all the stuff and you know.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: So the basically the, the gist of that module is just going through, and I use a four-step method where it can be make it a little less overwhelming.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: So you basically grab four boxes, right, and one box is what you're going to keep.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: So let's say, I'm going to go into my pantry, for example, or my closet, or you know whatever, let's say your office, maybe even you pick a space and you want to pick what you're going to keep, what you need to donate.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You're going to have a trash box and a relocate box, which means this does not belong here, and I think for those of us that are that have raised kids, in that keep box are those things that mean a lot to you as well.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: So we want to keep those mementos, those things that are special to us.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: We want our house to really feel like it's our home.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: But in using that method, I feel like it's less overwhelming.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: You take one space at a time, so we go through that.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: In the modules we also have a really fun way to clean out your closet, because I know that's hard for me to get rid of stuff, so I found a way to kind of make that an easier process, but I feel like that has been huge for me.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: And again, it's like we have these stages of life and make sure that this next stage of life is one that you are just excited about, like it's not all about the past.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: And when your kids feel like you don't have a life outside of them, it's not healthy for them either.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I never want my son to feel bad for me or feel guilty or feel like he should call his mom or he should hang out with his mom.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: I want him to want to right.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: So when your space is cleaned out and you know they see that you did something with their room because you're saying you're off, you are, you know, your own adult human and I'm going to love and support you in your life.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: And now we get to you know, transition our home as well.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: So it just really makes you feel empowered when you can declutter your home and just refresh your nest.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so funny because I did just clean out the pantry and it's a nice walk-in pantry and it's like I walk in there and it's just I'm like I kind of want to bring like a beanbag in here and read my book in here instead of out, instead of out in the living room.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Right, I don't own a beanbag, but I'm like that's where I want to hang out because there's order and there's no clutter.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: And it is crazy how I love that.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: You said extra stuff is weight Excess is not good, and so being able to clean out and get rid of and give yourself permission like the clothes that didn't fit me, you know, right now it's okay to get rid of them and if I need that size again later I can go buy one or two more things in that size but the freedom to be able to say I need to get it out.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And I know you guys moved to a very small.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: You were able to go to your dream location.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: So how many square feet are you and Abe living in?
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: So we live in a condo at the beach.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: It's 1500 square feet, so we went-.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: So it's not tiny.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not teeny tiny, but here's the thing about it.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I love my space but there's no storage, right, we don't have a garage anymore.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: We don't have a lot of closet space.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: It's very open and I love that because it's really good just aesthetically.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: But I had to get rid of, I mean, probably more than three quarters of what I had in my house that we raised our son in.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: But it's really empowering.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: And I also have a method it's not a method, it's just sort of a strategy, and it's called the one in, one out.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: So I keep a donation bag in my laundry room and if I buy stuff because, let's face it, I love to go get new clothes, I love to buy little things for the house but if I do that, I then have to donate something.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not buying more hangers, I'm not just adding more stuff to my house.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: So that method, or just that strategy, has helped me not overfill this house.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: So it feels, because the smaller your space, the more Just, the heavier it gets.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: When there's just clutter everywhere, it really can impact just how you feel when you're at home.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: You feel overwhelmed when you're at home.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: And you wouldn't think that that ties into.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's true at any stage of your life, for sure, but I think at this stage, when simple things feel overwhelming, just having the decluttering is so huge.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So I love that.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: So walk us through some of the other things that you go over in the Midlife Edit course some of the other things that you go over in the midlife edit course.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: So modules two and three is, and module two is health and wellness.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: So we talk a lot about hormones and just things that are working for me in midlife, nutrition wise and the things that I think are so important, just with my dietician background, but also I definitely have much more of a holistic approach to nutrition.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: So we go over that.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: And then fitness and vitality and that's another one.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: You know, I think as women we've just especially our generation we've been kind of programmed that you know, if we're going to diet, we're going to eat less calories, we're going to work our booties off aerobically and all these things.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: That doesn't work in midlife and there's reasons why that doesn't work.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: So it's kind of getting in tune with what you really enjoy moving your body.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: In which way do you enjoy?
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I am the girl who loves yoga.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I love, you know.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: I do lift weights and do all those things because I know I need to.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: But if you tried to talk me into becoming a runner or something, I'm not interested, right?
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: So it's finding those things that you actually enjoy and I think if you can add a social element to that it's huge as well.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: And then there's a module on mindset mastery, which is one of my favorites.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: You know, if you can get your mind present, if you can get your mind in a state of gratitude, if you can get in a growth mindset, this is the perfect time to do things in your life that you have not had the opportunity to do.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: You were too busy.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, think about it.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: You're in your 20s, you're going to school, trying to just build your life.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: Then you may have had a family, then you're busy raising your family.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: So a lot of your things that you want to do got put on the back burner.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: So now, as we're embracing empty nesting which is another one of the modules we're really reconnecting with who we are and not just being a nag to our kids.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Don't do that.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: One of the books I've read.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I always forget the exact title, but if you look it up on Amazon, you will see it.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: It's something like life with your adult children.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Keep your mouth shut and your welcome mat out.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: One of the best books I have ever read.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Because they don't necessarily want your advice anymore.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: But here's the deal If you don't give it to them, they ask for it and that is the beautiful part of being an adult parent is let them ask you for that.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: So we talk about some strategies in the empty nesting module, and then the last two are just that time and life management.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: And then module seven is creating your new chapter, and that was a really fun one to write because I actually had my own little edit in doing that.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: So you know, it's like you just get back in touch with who you are and, at the core of who you are, what you want to spend your time doing, the contribution that you want to make where you want you know to just make a difference, because, let's face it, that's what's most important in life is to feel like you are making an impact.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: So that is the basis of the midlife life edit.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: The midlife edit.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like it could be like an HGTV show as well, like we see all the house edits.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: We're like we need the midlife edit, the reality show, because I would totally watch it.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Shannon, there's so much that you said in those last couple the embracing, empty nesting, that life management and redefining that next chapter.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot that we can dive into in that specifically and what that looks like and how to really like so much about the adult children and shifting some of that.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I would love to ask you a handful of questions on that and I know that we're at the 35-ish minute mark here on the podcast.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: So Shannon has agreed that, if we were still rocking and rolling on these questions, to have this be a two-parter.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: So I think that we have.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: We've talked a lot about the hormones, the different feelings that come with this stage, and I think we need to dive in a little bit to this embracing these next chapters.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: So I think we're going to make this a two-parter.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: So, shannon, if that is all right with you, to come back next week as well and have our listeners hear just about this next stage.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: So give the listeners as we end this one.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: If there is like a piece of advice that you could give to maybe a younger listener or somebody who's in this.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I know you said get your hormones and get your mindset right.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: But like, what is the thing that they can do today to make themselves maybe come out of a funk, even if it's just a little bit, to dig out of that hole a little bit, if they're feeling buried or if they're coming into menopause or haven't even thought about it, something they could do for themselves, to prepare for that into menopause or haven't even thought about it, something they could do for?
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: themselves to prepare for that.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is I would just say tell yourself I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, this is normal.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: So many other women are feeling this way.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Give yourself permission that it's okay, that the way you feel.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: The next thing I would say is ask yourself what am I going to do about it?
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Because there are solutions.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: So I think some women sit in that and they just complain about it and they just become miserable and they're not happy.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Or there's the women that go okay, wait a second, I am going to do something about this.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: And it depends on what stage you're in.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: You know, I am all.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: I fully have so much compassion for women that are just not feeling good and feeling like themselves.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: You know, get out and just start walking in nature.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: That could be your first thing.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: And then write down one thing you can do to kind of advocate for yourself.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: Now, sometimes people will say well, I just don't have the money to go to a functional medicine doctor or a naturopath.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: And I would say go to your regular doctor, doctor or a naturopath.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: And I would say go to your regular doctor, if it's covered.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Get as many labs drawn as you possibly can, because you can take those labs to a functional medicine doctor and tell them I need you just to look at these, you know just, or start reading.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: There's so many good books.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite books it kind of is about hormones a little bit, but it's fast like a girl and that just talks a lot about midlife and what's going on in your body.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: Find podcasts, you know just, if you can be growing and learning.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: That is step one.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: So I think, nikki that's where I would start is just get in that growth mindset.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Figure out what you're dealing with right now and do something about it.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: You have the power to do something about it.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: And do you really want to look back a year from now and feel the same way you do now?
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Or do you want to look back a year from now and go, wow, I'm so proud of myself, look what I did and look at the changes I made and look how much better I'm feeling?
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: So that's what comes to mind.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, those are two great questions, and make sure that you check the show notes, listeners.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: We will link a lot of these resources.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Shannon mentioned that book.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I've read it.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: It's great.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Keep your mouth shut and your door open.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I have a great podcast from a functional doctor that I'm using that is literally just these are the labs you should get, and it walks through all the different labs if you need to get them from your primary care.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: So we'll link a lot of information that will help you navigate this and give you some great places to start.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: So, shannon, thank you so much.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I'm loving this conversation, super excited just to continue talking to you.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: So, friends, thanks so much for being here again.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Make sure that you rate or review the podcast.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: A Heart that Beats for Home was in the top 25% of podcasts last year and it's because you guys have been so awesome in rating and reviewing.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: That is the thing that gets us into the algorithms when people search for family and parenting and marriage and menopause.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: So make sure that you do that for us and then share this episode If this is something that resonated with you.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I know you have girlfriends that are going through the same.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Maybe just send this to them, ask them to listen and hold each other accountable.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: This is so much more fun to do with like-minded people who want to live their very best life.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: So thanks for being here this week, friends.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Until next week, take care.