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Bonus IMPROV - Have You Read Our Constitution? · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome welcome everyone what you're listening to today is a little something called very fine
• 0:18
  friends and we're gonna do something a little special for you something i like to call bonus
• 0:28
  improv.
• 0:30
  Francis, what do you say?
• 0:32
  I say, yeehaw.
• 0:35
  And I say, howdy.
• 0:38
  It's like we're at a Texas roadhouse right now.
• 0:42
  Jenna, Francis.
• 0:44
  Yes.
• 0:45
  I'd like to give you a little something.
• 0:47
  Something I'd like to call a suggestion.
• 0:51
  I would be honored to take your suggestion.
• 0:53
  And will you be prideful and honorable of that suggestion?
• 0:58
  Yes.
• 0:58
  Okay.
• 1:00
  Your suggestion is conceived.
• 1:08
  Conceived.
• 1:09
  Conceived.
• 1:12
  You can conceive an idea.
• 1:19
  Yeah, you can.
• 1:21
  I was just thinking about the phrase conceived in liberty.
• 1:24
  Never heard that.
• 1:25
  was um isn't it like in the declaration of independence or something is it that wasn't
• 1:34
  retired forget it it wasn't retired i didn't say required reading the rescue but it's in some
• 1:42
  something i think it's a little something what is it explain it to me it's like this new nation
• 1:50
  conceived in liberty like we're creating like thought of in liberty yeah wouldn't it be interesting
• 2:00
  wouldn't it be fun to like start a new country and like be the ones who are like drafting the
• 2:04
  documents yep yeah that'd be fun yeah and also no boys allowed oh hold on wait no i know i
• 2:15
  We both need that.
• 2:19
  No girls, but Jenna allowed.
• 2:23
  Can you imagine?
• 2:25
  Anyone who is under a seven works night shift.
• 2:31
  Unless you look better in dark lighting.
• 2:34
  Yeah.
• 2:35
  See, we're.
• 2:35
  Then you can be out at night.
• 2:36
  We are open minded.
• 2:38
  Mm hmm.
• 2:40
  It's.
• 2:41
  And we're the framers and it's what the framers want.
• 2:43
  Yes.
• 2:44
  What would you call our country?
• 2:45
  What would I call our country I would call it something with hot in it so that the
• 3:04
  demo name is hotties.
• 3:07
  Hot Kokomo?
• 3:09
  Yeah, Hot Kokomo.
• 3:11
  The people from Hot Kokomo are hotties.
• 3:15
  Yeah.
• 3:16
  I love that.
• 3:17
  Okay, great.
• 3:17
  And it accomplishes our goal of getting Kokomo established.
• 3:21
  Which is long overdue.
• 3:23
  Yeah.
• 3:24
  Yeah.
• 3:25
  All right.
• 3:26
  Good for us.
• 3:27
  Absolutely.
• 3:27
  I'm excited for this.
• 3:30
  And now, improv.
• 3:38
  Honey, thanks for marrying me and giving me citizenship in your country.
• 3:41
  I love that.
• 3:42
  Oh, of course.
• 3:43
  I'm sure it won't be too different from where I'm from.
• 3:46
  I look forward to simulating.
• 3:49
  Well, we're happy to have you here.
• 3:54
  We just, you know, just follow the rules.
• 3:57
  Of course.
• 3:58
  The rules of the country.
• 3:59
  I love that.
• 4:01
  God, you look good.
• 4:03
  Oh, thanks.
• 4:04
  I would have married you, citizenship or otherwise.
• 4:08
  Oh, behave.
• 4:10
  What?
• 4:10
  Stop.
• 4:11
  I'm still in that honeymoon phase.
• 4:13
  I know.
• 4:13
  Give me her.
• 4:13
  I don't want to take us back.
• 4:16
  I want to make sure I'm being a good citizen, though.
• 4:20
  Good, I love that.
• 4:21
  So just stop me from doing anything weird or wrong.
• 4:23
  Okay.
• 4:27
  I'm going to go ahead and go outside and be outside now.
• 4:31
  Oh, wait.
• 4:32
  Hey, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
• 4:33
  What is it?
• 4:36
  Honey?
• 4:37
  Yes, babe?
• 4:38
  You know I love you.
• 4:39
  Me too.
• 4:40
  But have you read our Constitution?
• 4:43
  Well, I skimmed it.
• 4:44
  It was just so many words and letters.
• 4:46
  you are a solid 8.1 babe on a one to ten on a one to ten you were a solid 8.1 oh my god
• 4:57
  and anyone over a 7.5 can only go out starting at golden hour
• 5:05
  it's still no it's still 10 a.m oh my um sorry honey this is the day for the the workers so the
• 5:13
  people that doesn't matter the lighting bright light dim light they're not going to look good
• 5:18
  but me i will oh you well you look good all the time but we really want to save you for those
• 5:24
  magical night hours oh what an important law thank you thank you i drafted it myself you did
• 5:31
  i am are you a framer i'm the i'm the only framer oh my god babe i'm with the framer
• 5:38
  And I can erect something else.
• 5:40
  I'll do it.
• 5:42
  Oh,
• 5:43
  yeah.
• 5:44
  Thanks for saving me Oh sure I almost went outside and ruined the ugly people days Oh I know And then it actually helps them to the part of the reason I wanted to do this It because anyone below 7 then there they more with their kind and they don
• 6:00
  need to be faced.
• 6:01
  They don't have the comparison of someone hot like you.
• 6:04
  You have a good heart.
• 6:05
  Thank you.
• 6:06
  Thank you, baby.
• 6:07
  My pleasure.
• 6:08
  My pleasure, darling.
• 6:09
  Guess we'll just stay in.
• 6:11
  Yep, we'll stay in.
• 6:12
  I'm going to go ahead and have a carb.
• 6:14
  What?
• 6:15
  What?
• 6:18
  What's going on, babe?
• 6:20
  I need to know specifically
• 6:22
  which kind of a carb you were playing on happening.
• 6:26
  A mac and cheese.
• 6:32
  I'm going to have to stop you right there.
• 6:34
  Oh, no.
• 6:34
  What happened when I do?
• 6:37
  We have very specific rules.
• 6:39
  Oh, yeah.
• 6:39
  Again, these are all based on a hotness scale.
• 6:42
  Okay, Mr. Framer.
• 6:44
  Tell me more.
• 6:45
  Well, uh, well, Sonia, you again, as I've mentioned, are an 8.1.
• 6:54
  Yes.
• 6:55
  So specific.
• 6:56
  I know.
• 6:57
  Anyone above an eight can only have colorful foods and orange is not a, no, anything that's
• 7:07
  any remotely related to beige, brown, orange, yellow, you're not allowed to have.
• 7:13
  Oh my God.
• 7:14
  That's uggo food
• 7:16
  Oh wow, I came so close
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  And I just am over the cutoff
• 7:19
  Oh yeah, well if you eat that mac and cheese
• 7:21
  You're going to be falling below
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  Just trust me on that one
• 7:24
  Oh I don't want that
• 7:25
  It's going to go
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  Those elbows are going to go right to your hips
• 7:28
  If you know what I mean
• 7:29
  I don't, but it sounds scary
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  Elbow macaroni
• 7:33
  Oh my god, you're so funny
• 7:34
  Funny framer
• 7:35
  Thank you my dear
• 7:39
  I'm putting you as that in my phone
• 7:41
  Thank you, thank you
• 7:43
  Well, wow, you saved the day again.
• 7:45
  Yeah.
• 7:46
  I just love you.
• 7:48
  Love you too, babe.
• 7:49
  Love you too.
• 7:50
  Oh my God, look.
• 7:51
  Hot, hot, Sonia.
• 7:52
  I made you happy again.
• 7:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:54
  Oh, yeah.
• 7:55
  Oh, do you think it went down?
• 7:56
  Oh, no.
• 7:57
  It'd be funny if I went out across the room and threw some rings.
• 8:01
  Well, I'm going to have to stop you right there, babe.
• 8:03
  What do you mean?
• 8:04
  Wow.
• 8:06
  We only use penises as a ring toss when the penises are below four inches.
• 8:12
  Oh.
• 8:12
  We find it more comical that way.
• 8:14
  It's a harder game.
• 8:14
  Yeah.
• 8:16
  So as you can clearly see, I'm well above that.
• 8:19
  Yes.
• 8:20
  And I would have married you regardless.
• 8:22
  Well, that's sweet, but that would have been against the bylaws.
• 8:24
  Oh, I didn't know.
• 8:25
  Yep.
• 8:25
  I appreciate that, but anyone over a 7.3 is not allowed.
• 8:30
  On the hotness scale or the ruler?
• 8:32
  Well, in this case, they align.
• 8:35
  Oh, my.
• 8:36
  Yes.
• 8:36
  Oh, my goodness.
• 8:37
  You need to marry someone that has the same penis length as your hotness but I was I an 8 you said I know so am I oh wow
• 8:53
  yep
• 8:54
  wow
• 8:55
  I
• 8:55
  I didn't know
• 8:57
  and I just always had such a good time
• 8:59
  I didn't think to measure
• 9:00
  oh well
• 9:01
  luckily for you
• 9:02
  I measure every day
• 9:04
  just to make sure
• 9:05
  funny framer
• 9:07
  can I ask you a question
• 9:08
  of course
• 9:10
  you can ask me anything
• 9:11
  What happens?
• 9:12
  Should one break these rules?
• 9:15
  Excellent question, Sonia.
• 9:17
  Not just a smoking hot bod, but brains too.
• 9:23
  Should any of these rules be broken?
• 9:25
  Yeah.
• 9:27
  The offender will be taken to the town square.
• 9:31
  Oh.
• 9:34
  Surrounded by the entire town.
• 9:36
  Oh.
• 9:36
  They will be strapped down into a strapped down machine.
• 9:44
  A strapped down machine.
• 9:46
  And they will be tickled.
• 9:48
  What?
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  Until they laugh so hard they pee their pants.
• 9:52
  When they pee their pants and the whole town sees,
• 9:56
  anytime someone sees you pee your pants,
• 9:58
  you automatically drop 1.3 on the hotness scale.
• 10:02
  That is the punishment for breaking any of these rules.
• 10:05
  automatic 1.3 drop in hotness in the eyes of everybody in the town.
• 10:10
  Did you write that, babe?
• 10:12
  Oh, I wrote it.
• 10:14
  And I am to be held accountable to these rules too, by the way.
• 10:18
  I don't want you to think just because I'm a funny framer
• 10:20
  that I can get away with anything.
• 10:22
  Oh, that's good.
• 10:24
  So I need you to keep me just as accountable as I'm keeping you.
• 10:28
  Okay, babe?
• 10:29
  Okay, babe.
• 10:30
  All right.
• 10:30
  Babe.
• 10:32
  All right.
• 10:32
  you know if you'll excuse me okay you excuse what you gonna do okay we're gonna gonna go to
• 10:40
  the bedroom and gonna iron some clothes fold some clothes put them all away okay i'm gonna take my
• 10:47
  makeup off oh okay here i am the real me ah what's going on what's wrong funny framework what is it
• 10:55
  no what's wrong i'm gonna stop screaming i gotta take my voice to plant out what's wrong
• 11:01
  Babe, what's wrong?
• 11:05
  Baby, what is it, baby?
• 11:07
  Oh, my God.
• 11:09
  Hold on, I gotta take my girdle off.
• 11:14
  What's the matter?
• 11:15
  No, you're a 1.3 now.
• 11:20
  Guys, we gotta cut some of it off.
• 11:22
  No, now I gotta take you to the town square, strap you down, tickle you.
• 11:26
  I'll tickle you now.
• 11:27
  No.
• 11:28
  No.
• 11:31
  See you.