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Transcript

There’s More In The Tank · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:32
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:04
  John Mitchell: Hey, just like last week, I'm John Michell.
• 1:07
  Kelly Hatfield: We're back.
• 1:10
  John Mitchell: Right? So our topic today is, there is more in the tank. And let me let me set this up a little. When I met Kelly, seven years ago, or so, that's what she she told me. And so I'm gonna let her explain that that feeling she has. So it's all yours, Callie. All
• 1:32
  Kelly Hatfield: right, well, I just remember, and at different points of my life, I felt this way. And we can examine that a little bit more as we go deeper into this conversation. But I literally remember being so frustrated. And when we met, I was in that one of those places of frustration, where I needed to break through to kind of the next level for myself. And for me, the next level is about impact. Oftentimes not it's not necessarily associated with money it's associated with how do I improve, you know, or increase my legacy, my impacts that I'm going to lead the ripple that I'm going to make in the world. And so I remember laying in bed at night and thinking said, you know, I know I have more to offer, I know, I have more impact that I that I can make, or more gas in the tank is how I refer to it when one, why aren't I doing the things that I need to do to tap into that, you know, and being frustrated being like, Okay, well, I've had these ideas, and, you know, not bringing these ideas to life, you know, those kinds of things. And so, absolutely, you know, there have been different different I remember, when I first started my business, I felt that way, get a right before I started it, I'm like, I am just bored. There's more to life, there's, I've gotten more gas in the tank, how to and then I started the business, you know, that my business, my first business, you know, then my businesses are hitting a ceiling. I'm frustrated by and then you and I meet, I go on my kind of quest you and I meet, you know, and that opened up the next level for me, but I've always been somebody who has a growth mindset. And who's always wanting to like, okay, how can I help? How can I serve more people? How can I make a bigger impact? How can I make that ripple a little bit bigger, and just being frustrated? Always that, gosh, I know, I have more gas in the tank? How do I tap into it?
• 3:29
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I remember when you said that, to me, I'm like, God, this is so easy to understand. Of course, she feels his way, you know, if if 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious, and so you only have 5% conscious control over your actions and your actions determine your success in each area of your life. Of course, there's more in the tank, there's a you know, you're operating with only 5% of the tank yelled, there's 95% that you're not tapping. And and I just knew that once you learned it and to gain control over those unconscious daily actions, that that feeling of there's more in the tank would quickly go away. Yeah, absolutely. That's essentially what happened. Yep. 100%
• 4:17
  Kelly Hatfield: What happened? And I think to when you're, you know, when we talk about that 95% of your thoughts and actions, being unconscious are on autopilot, you know, so all of the actions that I had been taking up to that point had gotten me to whatever level whatever point I was when that frustration level hit and I was thinking about kind of the next thing and that next level of impact, you know, and so I was operating to with those that old subconscious programming to the one but it wasn't what was gonna get me to the next point. Yeah, and so on. And so anyway, I 100% agree with you that world opened up When I learned this technique, because like I've said a million times, once I understood that, once I understood how the brain works, how the human mind works, and that 95% of our thoughts are unconscious, and that I just needed basically to program reprogram that subconscious through repetition, and through clarity, repetition, and then I was like, oh, okay, well, this is easy enough, I can do this. And it literally, you know, I know, we've again talked about this before, to where it's so simple, right? You know, you've distilled it down through this methodology into something that's so simple. And, yeah, it just opens up a whole new world, where,
• 5:45
  John Mitchell: You know, it's interests as listened to our, our podcast from last week. And I was listening to the the opening, and, you know, in the opening, you actually are the one that says it, once you learn the one thing, your life is never the same? Well, that's what we're talking about that one thing is that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious, because that truly was the game changer for for both of his. And, you know, I remember when I turned 50, boy, you know, I, I had such a tremendous disconnect between my efforts and my results. And, and, you know, I hadn't heard the phrase at that point, that there was more in the tank, but I'm like, why can I get my full potential out? In now, it's so obvious, but I couldn't understand that before. And, you know, as I look back on it today, I see that, back when I was making 200 grand a year as an entrepreneur for 20 years, Hey, I just want to take in the right actions at the end of the day. And, and, you know, probably the same with you, even, like you've said before you take some of them, but it wasn't consistent. But I saw that, when I really upped my game, when I when I you know, 25x My income is because I went from not taking the right actions, to taking the right actions. And what I'm more specifically talking about, is, you know, you know, there's essentially, five high performance skills that, that we teach in the methodology that are embedded in in the methodology. And, you know, the first one is being organized, you know, to a level of a nine or 10, on a scale of one to 10. Well, you know, I wouldn't that highly organized. And then the second one, I wasn't setting aside time to just think to time, so we started when I was bringing in the wisdom of experts in my head every week, in a way that it was strategic relative to what I wanted to accomplish. And, you know, the fourth one, I wasn't focusing on what moves the needle. And then the fifth one, which is sort of the master one, I just wasn't leveraging myself from understanding how the human mind works. And so, you know, when I look back now, on why is just a difference between taking the right actions, and not taking the right actions, and having, you know, full control over myself instead, only 5% control of myself. So that all makes sense.
• 8:36
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, it makes sense. And I think I want to I want to add one more layer to this, which is it goes back to taking the right actions. And I think, the different points, especially when I met you, I was taking a lot of action. I was taking a lot of actions, I was doing a lot of things, but but getting the clarity around what are the top three things that move the needle in my business, let's say in my health, in the different areas of my life, and getting a lot of clarity around that, you know, that also was really a game changer for me, because then, you know, when you're talking about being organized, and productivity, if you're focused on three things, instead of the 20 things, I was trying it, you know, and then doing those three things consistently, man, you know, what a difference that makes and how much time you get back. Ya know? And that's another thing is, you know, when we deal with a lot of our clients and people we talk to you get that pushback of man, you know, this shirt takes a lot of time, you know, to, you know, go through this process of getting the clarity and of you know, and it's like, yeah, I know. I'm shaking my head for those who aren't watching this on video, is because you get so much time back. When you have clarity. I mean, the amount of time we talked about this a million times two that I've gotten back Yeah, from having that clarity and then, you know, taking the right actions, and then leveraging. Right, my mind has been a game changer.
• 10:11
  John Mitchell: You know, I'd tell you one thing that that has surprised me as I was, I would coach people on think it'd be it, I'd ask him what moves the needle? And in the vast majority of cases, they don't actually see it. And, you know, that's just the value of of an outsider. Look at it. Not that that I'm so bro yet, but it's although I am. But you know, I mean, come on. But yeah, don't forget Bumble. I mean, that that's, that's maybe even better than brilliant. But anyway, you know, is it is interesting that they can't see it. But it is just because oftentimes, they're too close to it. And, and it doesn't take that much brilliance to see what it is. But one of the things I see that if you're feeding every day, here's what moves needle, even if it's wrong, what happens is that that A, the effect of rating at every day, is that you realize that what you're perceiving as moving the needle doesn't move the needle, and there'll be a time where you'll wake up one day and go, Oh, that doesn't move the needle, and this does. And so even if you get it wrong, the methodology, he evolves it to getting it right. Yep.
• 11:44
  Kelly Hatfield: It provides clarity, though, through taking action, you know, consistent action provides clarity, clarity, where it's like, oh, you know, what I thought move the needle actually doesn't I can see that further, actually, three steps before this is what actually moves the needle, or whatever the case may be. So that it does it helps with that immensely. I'm so glad you brought that up.
• 12:07
  John Mitchell: Yeah. You know, and, and the other thing I see is that, that consistently, the clients who do think it be it are people that have that feeling that there's more in the tank. And and you know, it's interesting, one of my closest friends that I talk to about every, every day is Bill Cunningham, who's for Chancellor and President at the University of Texas, and, you know, Bill, I mean, he's a player, you know, he's, he's laid right from from Southwest Airlines. He's on the board, he was chairman of the board of Lincoln Financial and, and John Hancock, and, you know, he's, he's involved in 100 things. And Bill's like, at bay, he's 80, going on 50. So I know him really well, because we teach our class together. And now I'm talking to him all the time. Well, you know, he, in for what I can tell, has never been at that point where he's like, Well, why there's more in the tank, and, you know, good for him. I mean, that's it, that's where you are good for you. And probably think it be it is not for you, because the sort of the opposite is true. In light of that fact that every one of our clients that I can think of, and I bet you'd agree with me that that they all felt boy, they're they're just pouring the tank, and why can it come out? Do you think that's like, the number one characteristic in all our clients? I think so
• 13:43
  Kelly Hatfield: I think it's that desire to expand, and to be better, you know, what I mean, and to, you know, whatever that means to you more success, whatever that means to you, you know, whether that's related to money in your business, whether it's related to impact and serving more people, whatever that is, there is that undercurrent I think that is a common thread. And the people that this really resonates with is they are seeking, you know, they're they're seeking to make more of an impact in different aspects of their life.
• 14:17
  John Mitchell: So how important is it is that they feel like they've they've got to play the game of life at their full potential. Do you think that's super important to embrace think a bit
• 14:30
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I mean, I think I think to embrace thing could be it. I think what some of the challenge is, and I know that this was hard for me to wrap my head around to was understanding what my full potential was. Right? You know what I mean? Like knowing your word, but not quite understanding what my full potential was, like, I still don't feel like I've reached it. I know there's another level, you know, for me and another one beyond that, you know, so, but I think
• 14:56
  John Mitchell: That'd be scary. Kelly, if there's more a higher level with you, they were not even seeing ah.
• 15:06
  Kelly Hatfield: But I think that is it's important to have, you know, I think the realization or maybe a recognition that they're like you're not playing at your full potential, you know, that there is more that you can access. And so I think understanding that about yourself, I think is important, too, for this to really resonate and connect with you. Yeah,
• 15:29
  John Mitchell: I think that's, that's true, too. I mean, you know, you're, you're certainly that way. And I'm that way, in terms of, you know, I just want to play this game of life full out at my full potential. And a, again, this is another one that has characteristics, that is true of people that embrace think could be it, and it's a little different than then, you know, there's more gas than that in the tank. You know, it's slightly it's a, it's a variation of that. But it's, it's different. And, you know, I have, I have a number of friends that they don't care, they, I mean, they want to be successful, but they don't care if they're playing they're to their full potential. And, and I'm like, okay, that's okay. That's okay, then they could be it probably is not for you. Now,
• 16:22
  Kelly Hatfield: I don't know, I get and I get that 100%. I'm trying to think of the profile right now, as we're talking this through, I think, if anything, athletes would relate to this, because there's always like, what's the you know, what I mean, they're striving for excellence. And always, like, there's another level, there's the Yeah. And so maybe it comes from an from, you know, both of us having had athletic backgrounds, and you know, an athlete have a thing where that's just kind of hardwired into you, I think when you have work, you're competing with yourself. Yeah. And, you know, so I think that there might be a connection there somehow, because I recognize that about people who really kind of are taking to this is, it seems like that's in some way, shape, or form that's been part of their background.
• 17:09
  John Mitchell: You know, it's, that's interesting, I hadn't really thought about it. From that perspective. You know, the class I teach at the University of Texas, at the Business School, which is basically teaching, think it'd be at over a semester, and, and the, the, it's only for seniors in college, and they get a, you know, three credits towards their degree. And of course, a lot of them are not majoring in business, which is fine. They still, you know, they still have electives. But athletic department has sponsored my my course. And it's essentially required of all the 550 athletes at the University of Texas. And but I see that that you're right, yeah, those athletes are all about playing to their potential. They're all too dead. Where am I now? And where do I want to go? More so than, than regular people? Yeah, good.
• 18:09
  Kelly Hatfield: I feel like that might be a component, I think, I think being an entrepreneur kind of is the same thing. You know what I mean? So yeah, as we kind of think about that profile, or who this, you know, resonates with or might really connect with this, I think it is, you know, to your point, somebody who's thinking and interested in playing to their full potential, that that's something that's meaningful to them, and that they feel like they've got more like, there's, there's another level for them that they want to get to. Right.
• 18:37
  John Mitchell: You know, I, I've been thinking about this a lot. Because, as I mentioned, I'm writing my book, and which has been a, you know, labor of love here. And but you know, a lot involved in it. And you know, I am, I've come to appreciate that, as people come to me, and they're interested in Thank you, be it. I've come up with five questions that that I asked a minute, and they relate basically, to what we've been talking about, you know, the first question I asked him, is, how driven Are you on a scale of one to 10? How driven Are you? Then the second question is, how do you create success in your life? And, and, you know, I'm, I'm expecting that they're going to say something. But I'm also expecting them to sort of get awakened to the fact that they don't really have a way as creating success, you know, and I don't know that they necessarily see it when they answer it. I'm hoping that they do. I will be pointing out to them if they don't see it. And then the third question is, do they actually feel like there's more in the tank? I bet you a lot of times nobody's ever asked him that. And then the fourth one is, how important is it to play to your full potential? And of course, I think everybody's gonna say Oh, It's, it's important. But um, like, is really, you can tell and you know, I want to give them permission that it's okay, if you don't I have my best friend doesn't have that desire. And that's, that's okay. And then the fifth question is what your morning routine. But you know, Kelly, a one thing I have really learned and maybe everybody can benefit from, from this because I was pretty inept at this over the years is you know, I always wanted to tell people, here's how it works or, and I see that that is totally counterproductive. You only influence people by questions. And so, you know, when you're asking them, how driven Are you as an example? You know, nobody's really probably ever asked them that they probably haven't asked themselves that. And I've had people tell me, while I'm at eight, I'm like, Well, okay, that's good. This is not for you. You know, you're not a nine or 10. Not for you. And, but you know, thank you for the artistic, you know, and so, I think and like I've said this before, you're you're much better at, you know, asking questions to, to tease out with people. Realization, any tips you can give us on how to do that better?
• 21:27
  Kelly Hatfield: No, I think it's just again, it's asking questions. So you mean, just tips for anybody who's wanting to what kind of tips are well, i
• 21:37
  John Mitchell: In terms of influencing other people, rather than telling them what you want to tell them? It tips on how to ask them questions to make them, you know, discover the answer.
• 21:50
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think it's you stick with the how, and the what? Questions for sure. Yeah. Why? Why often gets you into the victim kind of mode. Like, you know, what, why is this happening? Why? I mean, there's some usefulness to asking those kinds of questions. But typically, you know, you're you're wanting to ask how and what type of questions of yourself. So let's say that let's just stick with what was one of the questions John was about that you were just asking, well,
• 22:18
  John Mitchell: Like, how driven Are you? What, how driven? Are you?
• 22:21
  Kelly Hatfield: How driven Are you? So when somebody replied and said, Well, I am like, eight, you know, for example, then my next question would be, well, what are some things that you think you could do, you know, some tools that you have in your tool belt, or whatever, that would move you up? The rung by one. And so I'm just talking about like, influence, like, when you get people starting to think things through and to come to the table with solutions themselves? So let's say them, they share an idea. You know, I would say, Well, what about that idea really resonates with you, you know, to get them to begin to, to? You know, think about that? You know, and so you've got this idea? How would you go about implementing that? Right? So it's just this, you know, series of what and how questions that get them to the solution. That's how I influence you know, my team, when I'm working with my team.
• 23:14
  John Mitchell: So what questions how questions and also maybe why question, try it?
• 23:20
  Kelly Hatfield: Why? It depends, like I would I would recommend that anybody. Ask yourself some why questions and see how your brain responds to why questions? Yeah, we'll start giving you a laundry list of all of the things that are wrong. And it's not, why doesn't necessarily put you in a solution focus mode. It puts you in like the blame, like, oh, well, that's because blah, blah, blah, often will take you sometimes out of accountability, when you ask why questions and become so when you asked how so like, if you're unhappy with the outcome of something, right, by saying, All right, so, you know, what are some of the ways you know, that? What are some of the things that contributed to this? Not going not having the outcome I was looking for, what are some of the things you know, so that it would be like, Okay, well, you know, so you can frame it a little bit differently, for whatever reason, the why your brain automatically will begin to come up with a laundry list and a lot of the time necessarily, it's not necessarily accountability, it's either blaming other people or it's a victim, it's kind of well, the conditions of the situation weren't right, you know, the market is terrible, so and so didn't come through on their end which screwed up my notes like rise so you know, there's I think there's a place for that and maybe the very beginning of understanding a problem, but moving out of that really quickly into what and how questions to solve you know, if you're looking to solve something or or move forward, if you want to progress, the what and how questions are getting get you into an action and solution mode verse is the why questions who aren't? Don't they say they keep you focused on the problem? Not Yeah. Yeah,
• 25:06
  John Mitchell: That's, that's interesting, I guess why questions always made people go deeper? Although, you know, some of that that deeper is is excuses. You know, and I
• 25:17
  Kelly Hatfield: Think, you know, when you're talking about your why, like, you know, why is it important for you to? You know, that's very different than why did this not turn out the way I wanted it to turn out? Right? You know what I mean? So this, so if you're looking for your why, and you're like, Okay, why is this important to me? Then, you know, I think that's a really meaningful exercise and to keep going layers and layers using why, but why specifically, if you're solving a problem, or if you are looking to influence somebody, the why questions usually aren't productive. It's usually the what and the how questions that lead you into more of an influence discussion, versus things circling the drain with negativity, which sometimes comes with why, right.
• 26:05
  John Mitchell: Yeah, that's, that is interesting. You know, like, in the example of asking somebody to rate themselves on a scale of one to 10 on being driven, you know, if they said, and eight, really, my, my inclination would be to be okay, that's fine. We're done. But, you know, I don't want to be dismissive of the person. And I probably ask of, why do you feel that way? And, and it would be interesting to hear what they, they had to say. And I'm like, I'm not trying to take you to a nine or 10, you know, I'm just he, I just see that you got to be at nine or 10, to, to embrace the hard part of this methodology, which is creating that that clarity. And then, you know, feeding it to yourself everyday, 12 minutes a day, which in my view, is the easy part of it. Yeah. And
• 26:59
  Kelly Hatfield: I think you have to be careful to when you when somebody says an eight, let's say, you know, I'm an eight on driven, I'd be careful about closing the door, only because if you asked why and want one layer deeper with them, they might say, well, there's always room for improvement, and they feel like I, you know, you know what I mean? Their answer may, you know, make make make you feel differently about it? Or, yeah, I think just I would always go one layer deeper, instead of just cutting it off, because I want to seek first to understand that's one of the first rounds of influence. So I want to understand why they rated themselves that way. Because it might just be, you know, again, that they don't understand what 10 is, you know, I want to hear what they have to say, and then I might go with some how or what questions or enter the discussion based on what they say on the right, he's, you know, well,
• 27:54
  John Mitchell: You know, what I see from writing this book, you know, my, my perception, his hit to this point largely has been, you know, I'll I work with entrepreneurs, because they're the only ones that have full control of or their income. And but I'm seeing that there are a lot of people that are interested in, in Thank you be at that are not entrepreneurs, and I think that probably is the value of doing the book is, is you know, they don't have to be a nine or a 10, you know, most entrepreneurs are gonna be a nine or a 10 on being driven. But no problem at that start, you know, where you are, what, what, what you are, I'm opening to, it's interesting to see what I'm learning about success from simply writing the book. And so it's fine.
• 28:47
  Kelly Hatfield: And I think to to your point, and I like how you're opening that up and not just focused on entrepreneurs, because I feel like being open minded to the definition of what success is because success is mean something different to you than even than it does to me, you know, or even than it does to ginger, or, you know, and so I think understanding why playing
• 29:11
  John Mitchell: Success Tara was mirroring me
• 29:15
  Kelly Hatfield: Yyou know what we're, we are on Zoom, and I watched his face as soon as I said ginger, and that I he saw an opening and he was going for it
• 29:23
  John Mitchell: I knew right away right for now. Now, the judge may disagree with that. In fact, probably she'd tell you is a weak moment, but like,
• 29:34
  Kelly Hatfield: Gosh, no, the best thing that ever happened to her I'm sure. Well,
• 29:38
  John Mitchell: We realize could just go with that.
• 29:41
  Kelly Hatfield: But no, I think that the how you define success, it may have nothing to do with the with with money. It may have more to do about how you show up for your kids, or your excellent parent, or that and that that's what success looks like or that you're, you know, as far as your health, you know that that's how you define your success because everything else falls into place when you are locked and loaded on the health aspect of things. Yeah. And so I think that, you know, not be being very open minded about what your version of success is, may be different than the reader who's going to be reading it, that that connector resonate with them that you know, their version of success is something different.
• 30:24
  John Mitchell: Yeah that's an excellent point. Well visited good, that's been fun. So this idea that there's more in the tank, think about that in in your life is there more in the tank? And the if there is then you are prime candidate for Thank you, be it. So until next time, we'll see you.
• 30:48
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at kelly@thinkitbeit.com or John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life