Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / LET'S TALK PORN! BARBIE AND SLAVE BOY COME TO THE MIC

Transcript

LET'S TALK PORN! BARBIE AND SLAVE BOY COME TO THE MIC · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:07
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's
0:10
Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia,
0:12
and you know I've got the Barbie and we have a special guest
0:19
today. Shall we tell them?
0:22
Sure. It's my bitch.
0:25
A lot more of this it's. Charles or Intrepid as we know
0:30
him on Fetlife. So we're going to talk some
0:33
interesting nitty gritty stuff. We were just discussing, Gosh,
0:37
candle wax Barbies. Interesting what?
0:44
Do you have to say about? Me interesting, sexual, you
0:48
know. It's not interesting, it's
0:50
normal. And then, Charles, you said that
0:54
you you wrote down their first 72 people that you fucked. 72.
0:59
And that was back in 2006. It's been a lot more since that.
1:02
It's been a lot more Barbie. It's been a lot more, yeah.
1:06
Don't worry about your body count.
1:10
Yeah, I was going to say life is too short, you know, keep keep
1:13
those numbers up. But I.
1:14
Wish I wish I kept writing them down because now that I'm
1:16
getting old. Do you have like?
1:17
A rough estimate, like, yeah, I could say obviously triple
1:21
digits, yeah. Do you think you're anywhere
1:23
close to like 4 digits? For sexual intercourse, no I'm
1:28
not. I'm not close to 4 digits.
1:30
BDSM and crazy shit. God damn, I don't know.
1:35
Yeah, yeah. My friend and I, we used to
1:38
compete with how many people we could actually have sex with
1:41
after, after the age of 21, when I, when I actually lost, well, I
1:45
lost my virginity. She was, God, 14.
1:48
She was a big old whore. But we were, yeah.
1:50
We were comparing notes. We'd write down pizza guy.
1:52
I'm like, oh, yeah, I had a pizza guy, a fair guy.
1:55
Yeah. Oh God you fuck.
1:57
The Carney. We sure the.
1:59
Guy did. He's got a lot of skills.
2:03
The carnie had. Different wherever you are from
2:05
because here these carnage are yucky.
2:08
No, that was a special day. I'm scared of the carnage here.
2:11
You. Have to get dirty fingernails
2:14
and all that gross shit. Like I said before, I'm not
2:16
getting the UTI for some Dick. No, this, this was a sexy, sexy
2:20
Italian guy. No, we were down, down to clown.
2:25
So, you know, yeah, that's an interesting thing.
2:28
We, we know we talk about a lot of stuff on, on different
2:31
episodes about different things over the years.
2:33
And you know, everybody wants to hear everyone's different sexual
2:37
experiences, you know, but I found something really
2:41
interesting and I'm just springing this on you as we're
2:43
talking about it. But Charles and I, we talk about
2:46
a lot of in depth stuff and experiences.
2:49
And he told me about the soapy soapy.
2:52
And I love the soapy soapy story.
2:54
So can you tell everybody the story?
2:56
OK, soapy, soapy. If you go to Thailand, a magical
2:59
place for adults to go on vacation, there is a type of
3:03
massage called the soapy soapy and it's one of the best
3:06
experiences for a man or woman to experience on earth.
3:10
So you go to this place and it's kind of like a oh, it's looks,
3:13
it's a building, it's a business.
3:16
Excuse me. And you you pick out a lady to
3:18
help you with your problem. Oh my God.
3:21
So you go, no, it's actually quite nice.
3:24
You go upstairs and there's a nice big bathtub and you and.
3:27
That's what the soapy, soapy. Is oh, no, no, it gets better.
3:30
She gives you a nice bath, you know, and gets you nice and
3:33
clean. And there's this big empty floor
3:36
that has drains in the floor. They put in an air mattress and
3:39
they take some warm sudsy water and they cover up the air
3:43
mattress. And then they put the guy or
3:45
girl down on the mattress and she soaps you up.
3:48
Your entire body, she soaps up. Her entire body.
3:51
Yeah, she massages you with her body, so there's like these
3:55
wonderful titties, you know, rubbing your back and shoulders
3:58
and using. You, as like a human, slip and
4:00
slide. Yeah, human slip and slide front
4:01
and back, and I've had my neck muscles massaged by a woman's
4:05
vagina before. Wow.
4:07
Fucking awesome. Can't say I've done that.
4:09
No, it's it needs to be popular in America.
4:12
Because it's just. Oh God, I don't know how many
4:15
I've had over there. It's it's amazing.
4:17
You're a regular at the Soapy Soapy Clinic.
4:20
I would go there on leave to Thailand and a friend of my
4:23
introducement to the concept and every man on earth and woman
4:26
should be aware of this. It's it's a wonderful massage,
4:30
but it's called the Soapy soapy. Good luck Googling it though.
4:33
They don't really. I haven't seen it.
4:35
About me doing that, I, I actually went on YouTube and
4:38
there's little video clips of people talking about it.
4:41
Oh, it's great. And there was this one guy.
4:43
He was hilarious. He was in the car.
4:45
He's like, OK, motherfuckers, I just wanted the soapy, soapy.
4:49
And let me tell you, that bitch flipped me over and she gave me
4:52
something in my butt hole. I was like, OK, had that kind of
4:56
soapy, soapy. But you did not.
4:59
I've probably had a nipple around my butt hole.
5:02
Yeah, soapy. But I mean it was nice.
5:04
I mean it is just fantastic. It's like an hour long massage
5:08
and just. Is it like an actual massage or
5:09
is it soapy soapy the whole time?
5:11
Isn't that well? She massages you with her body.
5:15
It's a hell of a massage. You feel great afterwards.
5:17
I need a massage but I'm lazy and I don't feel like going.
5:21
I think they have Nuru now. Is that that real slick oil?
5:25
I just the soap suds. They've had that around forever
5:28
over there. I hosted lesbian oil wrestling
5:30
like a month or so ago. Yeah, that was pretty fun.
5:33
They brutal wasn't even sexy. They were trying to kill each
5:36
other. What you guys do it in like a?
5:39
It was a blow up tub at a bar I was hosting at full of glycerin
5:46
and water. I did Google how to make
5:49
homemade KY Jelly using cornstarch and distilled water
5:53
and we were trying to think of a way at the party to have some
5:55
kind of a wrestling match which I.
5:57
Suggest because I had another bar reach out wanting me to host
6:00
it again. I suggest just doing dawn.
6:02
Just soap and water. It's easier to hose off
6:05
everybody. Soapy, soapy.
6:06
Yeah, it's a soapy, soapy, but I don't know if you've ever seen
6:09
lesbians fight each other, you know, you think it's going to be
6:12
sexy. It's.
6:13
Probably vindictive and evil. It is.
6:16
Women are crazy. Oh, wait, I had to.
6:18
Like, I had to tap a few people out.
6:20
I was like, you're done. You're done.
6:21
That's that's what we kind of talked to get against doing that
6:24
here. It's because it can get violent,
6:26
especially with. I feel like here it might be
6:28
different if people are going for like the sexy show of it
6:31
all, but I feel like if people are genuinely like competitive
6:34
and want to win. Because the way it worked is
6:37
they each were given like a sweatband you put on your right
6:39
wrist and so you have to get the other person sweatband off.
6:43
But the issue is girls have iron grip, so when the sweatband
6:47
swept into their hand, they're holding it like this.
6:50
So they're all twisted around each other's thing, like
6:53
circulation's getting cut off. And I'd have to be like, OK, I
6:55
have to pick a winner here. I think there's some blood.
7:01
Jesus. Yeah, we had actually talked
7:03
about that, Charles and I, We were just like, you know, could
7:06
they do it in a erotic way? Could they go out there and
7:08
like, sexually you can fly to your pool?
7:10
Well, yeah, we could do the chicken fight and it's safer,
7:13
you know, safer. Or whoever you're getting to
7:15
fight, kind of just go, hey, don't go crazy like this is just
7:19
for fun, like. Make it.
7:21
Cute, you know? I mean, yeah, if you have the
7:24
wrong people in there, someone can get mad.
7:25
I hate when people get mad during like, a fun game.
7:29
Oh, it sucks so bad when people take, like, fun things
7:32
seriously. I'm like oh great, now no one
7:34
can have fun. So we talked about obviously the
7:37
parties and possible scenarios of what we're going to do, but
7:40
there was a situation, this is before I met both of you and it
7:44
was pretty interesting. So this this brother and his
7:50
girlfriend came and this other guy came and these two brothers
7:55
ended up seeing each other at the party.
7:58
But the interesting thing of it was they had no idea they were
8:00
coming to the same party. They didn't talk about it
8:03
because you know, when they hear BDSM and fetish, you know that
8:07
it's not like they were advertising that freely with
8:09
family members. So this guy, he goes out.
8:13
We had a little seating area out there and we had these open
8:15
tents at the time. And it was, it was like a summer
8:20
or two ago. And so it was hot.
8:22
But he's out there and he's jacking his Dick to watching
8:26
this couple fuck. And.
8:30
And sure enough, it was his brother and the girlfriend.
8:34
And he realized it when he sees both of their faces looking at
8:38
him, jacking his Dick. Yeah.
8:42
I think the only solution is to kill yourself.
8:46
No alcohol. Alcohol isn't so slowly killing
8:50
yourself. That's what he.
8:51
Did he was so depressed and sad, you know, they ended up leaving.
8:56
But the guy, yeah. Because because to them, they
8:59
don't know that he didn't know. So when they turn around,
9:01
imagine how traumatic it is to turn around.
9:02
Your brother's jerking off to you.
9:04
Yeah. He had no idea God.
9:06
A similar thing happened at the Biloxi Adult Theater.
9:11
Yeah, I, I talked to a couple outside about, you know, has
9:14
anybody ever bumped in? And I asked him, has anybody
9:16
ever bumped into anybody, you know, and said, yeah, our
9:19
parents, they were at the adult theater.
9:22
And her parents showed up at the same time.
9:25
And they told us they were both there, but nobody said a fucking
9:29
word afterwards. But that's, you know, these
9:33
theaters you watch all kind of people fuck.
9:34
Oh, yeah. But yeah, they were there.
9:36
And her. Parents, I walked in and saw a
9:39
family member. I would just.
9:40
I'd have to leave like. Yeah, there's.
9:42
No way I would have to go because I don't even want to
9:45
accidentally see. I don't want you to accidentally
9:47
see me. Like that's like one of my
9:50
fears. I'm like, what if someone I know
9:52
walks into one of Mia's parties? Like what's what's my game plan?
9:56
I'm like, what do I? What do I say?
9:59
Absolutely nothing because they're on the same boat.
10:02
I'll I'll have to signal me, but don't tell my work you're doing.
10:05
This don't do anything really weird.
10:06
Right. Yeah, I.
10:09
Guess what the narrow down what that is.
10:12
Oh I'm weird in non sexy ways so I'm going to do something weird
10:15
but don't worry. I'm wearing a strap on.
10:18
Yeah, I wouldn't do that anyways.
10:20
That could be entertaining. You know, I've, I've always
10:23
invited my nieces and my nephews to my events.
10:25
You know, I mean, it's not like I play openly and it's not like
10:28
I'm getting butt ass naked and doing something crazy.
10:31
I host. I host and that's it.
10:32
And you know, people, they always tell me, oh, I can't
10:35
believe you invite your family members.
10:37
And I was like, and you know, it's fun.
10:39
People have a good time. And if they want to play, you
10:42
know, it's, it's one of those, it's a sex positive.
10:45
They can go have fun and you, I'm sure.
10:48
It's also not like you make the rounds.
10:50
A lot of the parties you kind of stay, stay in one spot.
10:53
Usually I do, so it's not like you're out looking in tents and
10:56
stuff. No, I probably go around maybe
10:58
three or four times. But I always ask you all, hey,
11:01
have you checked the tents lately?
11:03
Have you checked upstairs? You know what's what's the the
11:06
status quo? Invite my.
11:07
Friends. Yeah, right.
11:09
Night. Why not?
11:11
I know we talked about this in episode or two ago about like
11:14
people recognizing me off Fet. But it is really funny though,
11:19
because I had, you know, I didn't mention this one, but
11:21
like I was like performing at one of my events and one of the
11:25
people, like one of the girls there, she followed me on Fet
11:28
and I ran into a group of people who followed me on fed at like I
11:32
was at one of the like sexy cola parties during pride.
11:35
They were like, Oh my God, wait, you work at me as I was like,
11:38
yeah, I guess I don't. You know, I had the Griswolds in
11:43
here last week. You all missed this because it
11:45
was absolutely hilarious. But off off camera, we were
11:49
actually talking about how Mr. Griswold is looking through
11:54
locals and he just happens to come across his daughter's
11:58
profile. Shit, he blocked immediately.
12:01
Oh yeah. He was like, what the fuck?
12:03
He's like, Ellen, look at this shit.
12:05
Our fucking daughter's a freak too.
12:08
That's when you don't click on the photos you just like read
12:11
the top it block, leave it on. Well, apparently the default
12:14
picture was not enough to let. Him know that that was his
12:18
daughter and then unfortunately. He saw too much afterwards.
12:23
Way too. Much, I believe.
12:25
That's why like I get not posting your face but like man.
12:29
Wow. Oh gosh, he was like Ellen, look
12:32
at this. God, I can't even see this.
12:35
I think the worst is I ran into somebody I used to like beef
12:40
with in high school at a party and this story is really funny
12:43
and I we were friends for like 2 years and it ended poorly
12:50
because I wasn't a good student. I would skip a lot and they were
12:54
a good student and they decided to skip with me and we got
12:57
caught the first time I've ever been caught.
12:59
And then the next day they told me they were grounded from me.
13:02
It was really stupid. They were just being like a
13:03
really big bitch to me about it. Well I ended up getting mad and
13:06
we get into this argument and I end up punching them in the face
13:09
and it was the day before my 18th birthday too.
13:12
So they threatened me like if you ever come near me we're
13:15
pressing charges. But I get it, I punched you.
13:19
But they know I'm a fighter and not a talker.
13:21
And we've been friends two years, so that's kind of on you,
13:23
babe. But after that we kind of were
13:26
like chill with each other. Like they drink out of my drink
13:28
and stuff like that. So I thought we were OK.
13:31
Well, now every time they see me at a punk show or at one of
13:35
these parties, because I've seen them a few Times Now, they stare
13:38
at me like they want me dead. And I'm like, hey, babe,
13:41
remember what happened last time you got big?
13:43
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
13:44
I'm don't fight. I'm a don't know.
13:46
I'm just joking. But no.
13:48
But I'm like, I haven't talk to you in like 8 years.
13:52
Why are you like, Like literally they're like.
13:54
But now you play with whips. Wow.
13:56
Every time they see me and I think I saw that they RSVP D for
14:01
an event and I clicked on their profile just out of curiosity.
14:03
They had already blocked me, which is fine, block me if you
14:06
don't like me. But yeah, they're like looking
14:08
at me so crazy that my friends who don't know who they are,
14:10
like who is that person? Like, why are they giving you
14:12
trouble? I'm like, I don't know.
14:14
Like, I know we had beef in high school, but we kind of like
14:16
squashed it. Like, I'm sorry I hit you when I
14:19
was 17. It was wrong.
14:20
But dude, you can't. You can't be running up on me.
14:23
Stupid still. Say cunt, let's go out into the
14:25
parking lot. We'll figure this out real
14:27
quick. I'm past my fighting days meal.
14:29
I'm a friend. I'm a grown woman.
14:31
I'm a you're my gosh it. Hasn't started yet.
14:38
That's funny shit. It's just really, it's really
14:42
weird. Like why are you staring at me
14:43
so crazy? Like please leave me alone.
14:46
I'll avoid you if you avoid me. Like don't look at me stupid.
14:49
It's so crazy that our lifestyle is still so taboo.
14:52
You know, I was at a shoe store yesterday.
14:55
I went to Auburn. I'm at shoe store.
14:58
And this chick, I immediately just hit it off with her and
15:00
she's kind of like, she's a salesperson.
15:02
She's following me around and she's like, God, you sound so
15:05
familiar and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, huh, I can't
15:09
imagine why. And so we would keep talking.
15:12
And. And then she's like, you're in
15:14
Pensacola. I'm like, yeah, so come to find
15:17
out, she's listening to the podcast.
15:18
She wants to come to the party. And she's like, yeah, you know,
15:22
she's very complimentary, but. That's super cool.
15:24
Yeah, that was very cool. I thought that was cool so.
15:27
It's just fun to get recognized for cool stuff.
15:30
I got sent a like, I got tagged in a Facebook post that was like
15:35
our city's like local like page, like what's happening in the
15:39
city. And some person had posted a
15:41
picture of my art from like November and was like, hey,
15:45
guys, I'm trying to find this artist.
15:46
Like I really liked this art that I saw and I wasn't able to
15:49
buy it. And like it was like 10 comments
15:51
of people going oh, that's so and so.
15:52
Oh, that's so it was, they were all saying my name, but they're
15:55
like, Oh my gosh, that's this is this person.
15:56
Oh, here's her account. Oh my gosh.
15:58
And I was like, Oh my gosh, all these friends are cool stuff.
16:01
Like, yeah. You got recognized for your art.
16:05
I'm not famous, guys, I just like to pretend I am.
16:09
So, Charles, Speaking of taboo, we got our little prima Donna
16:13
over here. Yeah.
16:15
So what has your family really thought about you with the, you
16:19
know, your proclivities of BDSM? The only ones that know they're,
16:24
they're pretty cool with it, actually.
16:25
Yeah, only I'm only told I'm brother and sister.
16:28
Yeah, the siblings are usually. Same, they seem a little jealous
16:32
the other ones don't know they're older generations and
16:36
some of the younger ones are finding out too because my
16:38
sister has a big mouth. So far nobody's really breaking
16:41
my balls and they I think they've always known I was a
16:43
freak. It's just now official.
16:46
They got tired of keeping it to myself.
16:48
I don't tell them every single thing that goes on, I just throw
16:52
out enough bait to where they know OK, this guy's fucking
16:54
weird but it's fine. No, they're OK with it.
16:58
That's cool. I think they're a little
16:59
jealous. He really wants to come to a
17:01
party. My brother does he also.
17:03
Just take a shift and you just don't go to a party and he can
17:06
come. As long as we're not do I
17:08
Usually I'm somewhat behaved at the parties unless I'm, you
17:12
know, off someone. What if he?
17:13
Doesn't want to behave at the party though.
17:16
What if he doesn't want to behave at the party?
17:18
Free country. I keep my mouth shut.
17:21
I do like discretion, so if you wanted to do something, hey, if
17:25
you ever bring a midgets to the party, I don't think I could be
17:27
able to stop him. So true like.
17:31
So true. On the topic of like taboo, I
17:34
will say being younger, I've realized like my age group
17:37
doesn't really like view it as taboo.
17:40
Like any of the people I've told, they're not like shocked
17:43
or scandalized. Like, oh, that's cool.
17:45
It's a lot more open now. It is, and that's why I feel
17:48
like a lot of younger people don't feel the need to come find
17:51
a dungeon or anything, because they don't.
17:53
They're not here to like ask their partners or tell their
17:56
friends or get involved with it in their own like circles.
17:59
And so they're not needing to seek out a third party to help
18:03
them do that or like to go to these.
18:05
I mean, some of them like to go to parties and stuff, but I know
18:08
a lot of freaks that are just freaks at home and they're
18:10
freaks with their friends, freaks with their friend groups.
18:13
And I'm like, how about y'all come to the freak parties?
18:15
Yeah, come out and hang out with all of us.
18:19
They already are. It's just called Tuesday night
18:21
hanging around their party. All these Poly cules.
18:27
It's a generational thing, like when I was your age.
18:30
Yeah, We had to keep shit quiet. I had a good I had to move to
18:34
California before my first experience.
18:36
Yeah, because I grew up in Mississippi and this shit would
18:38
not have happened back then. Right.
18:41
And I was in the military out there, and we still had to keep
18:43
quiet. I think even nowadays, like even
18:46
if it gets out, you're into this kind of stuff.
18:49
I don't even think like employers can do anything about
18:51
it because it's your your private life.
18:53
It's, it's just, you know, it's not even crazy anymore.
18:55
It's just because there's so many like discrimination, like
18:59
laws about like what you can and can't be like terminated for.
19:03
Like if you have a, obviously if you have like a childcare job, I
19:06
think it might work different, but but even then, it's like as
19:09
long as you're not posting it on like private public profiles,
19:12
they can't get onto you for what you do behind closed doors.
19:14
They're still firing teachers for having only fans page
19:16
though. I but that's different because I
19:19
feel like the kids can find an only fans.
19:21
Like if the teacher was just kinky behind closed doors,
19:23
that's cool. I suspect Germany doesn't have
19:26
this problem. But anytime you like, I feel
19:28
like anytime you bring it to social media or any kind of
19:30
Internet platform, you run that risk of your kids finding it
19:33
because kids are so media literate nowadays.
19:36
I. Can find everything.
19:36
Oh I had a teacher in high school who was a stripper 15
19:39
years before she taught us and people went and found photos of
19:42
her from 15 years prior and printed.
19:45
And it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't matter but that's
19:47
what I'm saying. If they can find pictures of
19:50
this teacher 15 years prior stripping then they can find an
19:54
only fans and probably stream that to a projector in the
19:56
classroom. Little assholes.
19:59
It would be nice if we were in a country where it didn't matter.
20:01
It's just the titties, it's just nipples.
20:03
It's not going to hurt you, right?
20:06
Got to do that anonymity. What's?
20:11
Or just pay teachers more so they don't have to.
20:13
Turn with that one. But yeah, I agree with that.
20:17
So we're going to switch gears just a little bit here.
20:21
Enough about teachers. Teachers can be sexy, but we
20:25
hope maybe that you're going to be wearing like a little teacher
20:28
schoolgirl outfit at the next party.
20:30
Probably. You're going to be like a sexy
20:31
teacher at the next one, you know?
20:33
Yeah, with your glasses, a ruler, and.
20:35
People with it. Put your hair up in a bun.
20:37
It's. Funny, you know, when I wear my
20:39
glasses, when I went through Amsterdam and I was going
20:42
through the red light district, there was an actual teacher and
20:45
look, Fox is a user. He's going to come up there and
20:49
he's eating crumbs off of you. We we had to take a break for.
20:53
She's talking about her dog, not the lady in Amsterdam.
20:58
Not the lady in Amsterdam, No, the lady in Amsterdam.
21:01
She was dressed as a sexy teacher.
21:03
She had a white button down, showed her black bra.
21:06
She was a brunette, but she got pink.
21:09
She was so gorgeous. And she had, you know, glasses
21:12
and she had her glasses lowered. And for those who haven't been
21:16
to Amsterdam to actually see, you know, the scenes, they're
21:21
completely set up in their own little booth.
21:23
And you go by there and they're just sitting there like a little
21:27
statue and. Just waiting for someone to come
21:29
by. Just.
21:29
Waiting for somebody to Yeah. And so, sure enough, she was
21:33
just sitting there on her desk. I'd love to go to Amsterdam.
21:37
Go. To Amsterdam.
21:38
It is so fucking awesome. I didn't want to leave because
21:41
we had planned on going to Poland right after that, but we
21:43
just didn't make it. I'm like none let's.
21:45
Stay. If I want to go and see, I'll
21:47
wear my cute little outfit. Well, she was.
21:49
Adorable and. That's so much BDSM though.
21:52
There wasn't. A lot of BDSM.
21:54
There. Because everything's out in the
21:56
open there. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't so much
21:59
taboo, but I mean, we went to one of the best latex stores
22:02
ever with, you know, you know, latex clothing and you can have
22:06
it customed. I mean, it was, it was really
22:08
incredible. But but yeah, you can go into
22:11
the local stores and you can find King Square anywhere and
22:15
everywhere you. Go.
22:17
Yeah. You know, it's really funny.
22:18
Before I was ever in the scene, me and my goth friends sometimes
22:21
would go to King stores for the harnesses Ryan just to wear.
22:26
All free outfits. Yeah, like we didn't even
22:29
realize like, well, because we were a little younger, we didn't
22:32
even realize it was like a big kink thing.
22:34
Like we just thought they were just kind of cute.
22:36
I was going to say, but you know, be really cute as you
22:38
dressed as a schoolgirl or whatever, you're going to dress
22:41
up as a teacher and have a fucking strap on harness on
22:44
underneath your clothing. Or under my.
22:46
Skirt. Yeah, poke it out.
22:48
Walk out with it. Yes, big heels.
22:52
Again, I haven't decided I'm. Telling you.
22:54
I want to, I want to I'm probably going to buy another
22:56
pair of like nylon thigh highs because I had some before but I
23:00
like ripped them on accident. So I want to get a new pair
23:02
because I just thought they were so.
23:04
Sexy they were you look dynamite thank you.
23:06
You really did and you always look great.
23:09
You know, any party we do. So this next party, we have an
23:13
amazing couple. They always, oh, they're,
23:16
they're such exhibitionists. You know, they're so fun.
23:19
They do they, they lead up gangbangs.
23:21
I mean, everybody wants to fuck them.
23:23
And so obviously this next party, it is a tribute to 70's
23:27
porn. You know, it's really a risque
23:31
party. There's not people just doing
23:34
that to see what they wear. You know, I was wondering about
23:37
this party too, because I was thinking, you know, is people,
23:40
would they be deterred with the fact that we're very sex
23:44
positive, but Oh no, we're sex positive.
23:47
At the sex party, God forbid. At the 70s porno theme Sex
23:52
party. Exactly.
23:53
You know so. It's very fun theme they're.
23:55
Going to be on display. I mean, as soon as you walk in
23:57
the gate, they're going to be right there.
23:59
So if people want to come and see that, yes.
24:02
With my little opera spectacles and watching them, they're.
24:05
Going to kick it up. No, they are.
24:07
Their. Outfits are always the best at
24:09
the. Parties.
24:09
Yes. Everybody to watch.
24:11
Everybody to watch, it's going to be incredible.
24:13
And come to parties about one of my favorite parts.
24:15
I'm just like, what are they going to?
24:16
Wear and then there's going to be 1 scene that they're going to
24:18
do so they're going to do 3 separate scenes, but the one
24:21
scene they're going to do, they're actually going to film
24:23
the gang bang themselves. He's like, you know, he wants to
24:25
put this on film for her and the participants there knowing this
24:31
in advance. So cool.
24:33
The audience is going to be behind the camera guy, but
24:35
regardless, you know no one else is going to be filmed in it
24:39
except for the the. Consenting adults and.
24:41
Exactly the faux actors. Lesbian scene is before that it
24:48
won't be filmed for privacy they're.
24:50
They're just having fun, you know, we're.
24:51
Going to have a great time. We're just going to be right
24:53
there. I think it's so cool that it's
24:54
going to just be like right when you walk through the door.
24:56
It really helps sell that, you know, sex party fantasy to it
25:00
all. Set in porn playing on your
25:02
projectors. Absolutely.
25:04
You can have your speakers on so your neighbors can hear it all
25:06
night. No, we're not going to do sound.
25:08
I was about to say we got. DJ Tony.
25:11
Yeah, some 70's porn. Music.
25:13
I asked SO if he would throw in some sense some porn.
25:15
Moans in the middle of it. Wow, does that you know, he's
25:19
got, he's got little experts in his little music and he's like,
25:23
ohh. Daddy, Yeah.
25:26
Oh, Tony T, you know that. Little corner, he owns that
25:28
little corner in the back. That's where they go.
25:31
Yeah, he'll pardon move it to get closer to the tent this
25:33
time. They're the fucking you can put.
25:35
Him where those tables are, where the umbrella is, you know,
25:38
up in that corner by the good. All the music's right near it.
25:43
I'll listen to you. You.
25:45
Can queue up the score as the a different scene is changing or
25:48
something. You got Business Barbie on the
25:50
podcast today. I'll rearrange it, don't worry.
25:55
Well, I will be entrusting you with that.
25:59
But so, you know, the party I think it's gonna be, I think
26:03
it's gonna be amazing regardless.
26:05
But I don't know. Sometimes a lot of people, they
26:09
don't always come for that, you know, I think a lot of them come
26:11
for specific to BDSM, yeah. It's a swingers or it's
26:16
Kingsters and. It's both.
26:18
Yeah, yeah. I hope we get.
26:19
More BDS than people this time, so I can like.
26:23
It kind of feels like more of a swinger thing this time though
26:25
because of the porn, you know? It might be.
26:28
But it's going to be a full moon, so that all the freaks
26:30
should come out, yeah. I hope so.
26:33
You know you should. I'll tell my golf friends is the
26:35
full moon. There you go.
26:36
Well, Super Moon is going to be the next night, so it's going to
26:38
be a nice big moon. Oh, that's going to be so cool,
26:42
isn't that? Going to be amazing.
26:43
Oh my God, wouldn't. It be cool if they were wearing
26:45
like werewolf masks and then they start howling as they come.
26:51
I think it'd be funny if they were some merkins and lambs we
26:54
call lamb chop. Mutton chops?
26:56
Yeah. I used to be with this guy who
26:58
really liked Wizards and we jokingly were talking about like
27:02
wizard sex one day and he was like, can we have wizard sex?
27:06
I was like, we can have wizard sex, I said, But you can't say
27:08
Hazal when you come. And he was like, I wasn't even
27:11
thinking of that. Now I want to.
27:14
And I was like, you cannot say his all when you got that is the
27:16
opposite of what's allowed to happen.
27:20
Oh well that's funny. Now that you said that, it made
27:23
me think of Eminem's new song Houdini because he he remade the
27:28
song Abracadabra from the 80s. Oh my God, I just wanted to do
27:34
some dirty things to that man from that video.
27:37
Were you able to watch that movie The other night?
27:40
No, you know, I couldn't find it online.
27:43
That's just the movie that the the cleaning of the party's
27:45
based on. You know, I just got here.
27:48
I don't know. See where I live just to have
27:51
these just show up. They have these porn blockers
27:53
up. So I've only been want to see
27:54
the description of it. They have this.
27:55
Notice that anytime I've tried to get on Pornhub, if I am not
27:59
connected to my Wi-Fi, I have to.
28:02
It's like you have to prove you're 18.
28:04
Yeah, but it connects me through Louisiana and I'm like, I'm not
28:07
in Louisiana. No, I don't know why the fuck
28:08
they're doing that, but. Crazy.
28:10
But if you if you're on Internet, then it then it's I
28:13
just have to click a button that says I am 18 and I'm like look.
28:16
This this has cause Mississippi has the blockers up and they
28:20
have an image saying that this has been outlawed in your state.
28:24
You should contact your representatives.
28:26
I haven't heard anything about it being outlawed.
28:28
Louisiana, Virginia and Utah and somebody else right now, they
28:32
have these blockers up and we have.
28:34
To have. A VPN to get around it, but
28:38
yeah, you can sign on to it, but you have to verify who you are,
28:41
and you verify who you are by holding up a driver's license
28:44
and then your face. I tried to, like, confirm my age
28:48
with them and I literally couldn't figure out how to work
28:50
the website. And I was like, 'cause sometimes
28:52
I like to go on Pornhub just to like, look up like stuff for
28:54
like inspiration, like 'cause it's like a decent way to like,
28:58
look at things. And I'll look up like BDSM, like
29:01
scenes or dominatrix things just to kind of like learn and see
29:05
what other people are doing. And it's so annoying when I have
29:07
like, an idea. I want to see if someone's done
29:09
before. And now I have to jump through
29:11
hoops to get to Pornhub. This is America.
29:13
Yeah, it's supposed to be a free fucking car.
29:15
I should have access to Pornhub. Anytime I agree, you know when I
29:20
was in what? Do you have to prove I'm
29:22
eighteen? Let me in the Pornhub.
29:24
You shouldn't have to. That's ridiculous.
29:26
Well, on YouTube you can actually watch parts of Behind
29:30
the Green Door. I saw pieces of it.
29:32
Yeah, there's a guy, he's kind of like a little commentator for
29:35
it. Did you see that?
29:35
One I saw that guy, I was trying to skip through him.
29:38
I did too. Yeah, I did too.
29:40
But it does show at the very, very end how Marilyn is it?
29:45
Marilyn Chambers? Yeah.
29:47
So she's getting like a massage right before the grand finale.
29:50
But the whole point of it was they basically put her in that
29:54
mindset to be on stage that she's getting fucked by multiple
29:58
people and it's they consider it in the the description.
30:02
That's almost like a rape scene. But.
30:06
It was, yeah. I mean, she knew it was coming,
30:08
right? Yeah.
30:09
I mean, I think that's. It's probably all staged.
30:12
Oh yeah, intensive movie, but. But that was the date when I you
30:17
know, that was before VHS. So you went to the theater,
30:19
adult theater, and watched? Me, I know what VHS is.
30:23
So do you I. Do I do know what VHS is?
30:27
I used it a lot as a child. But do you know what beta tapes
30:30
are? No.
30:32
That was the big tapes. I know what VHS.
30:35
Player is and cassette tapes. Are the beta tape was about this
30:39
big versus the VHS which was. A little longer I, I will say
30:43
I'm, I'm out of the weird age of like transition and technology
30:48
because I was born in 2000, so the first chunk of my life.
30:52
We're fucking. Old no, the first like I talk
30:55
about this all with people who are like like like 10 years
30:59
older than me or so because the first like 5-10 years of my life
31:04
was basically the same technology from the 90s and then
31:07
when I was 10 is when it transitioned to touchscreen
31:10
iPhone. Yeah, so it was fun.
31:11
Like I think I'm the the eight last age group where you had
31:14
VHS, all that kind of stuff and then just catapulted straight
31:18
into streaming a. Little bit of all.
31:20
Of it, a little bit of all of it, I had a.
31:22
Box of. Cassette tapes fall on my head
31:24
once, and that's about my extent of experience with those.
31:27
That's why they take up a lot of room.
31:30
Yeah, that's why I'm like this. But God, porn was so awesome on
31:33
VHS. It was it was great.
31:35
I. Feel like that's so stressful?
31:38
Why? Why is it stressful?
31:39
Well, I imagine like, like imagine like being a teenager, I
31:42
guess if you're not a teenager, because I'm thinking the context
31:45
of like, oh, you're a teen trying to sneaky watch porn and
31:48
I have to have a brick to watch it.
31:50
Yeah, well, you would definitely have to get the tape out of the
31:53
VCR before your parents came home, but that was just you just
31:55
handled your shit. See, nowadays you just use
31:58
Incognito mode and call it a night.
32:00
But we did get caught. One day she came home early from
32:04
work and we were watching this terrible porn we got our hands
32:07
on. How'd you get your hands on it?
32:09
Do you rent it? No, Mississippi back in those
32:13
days was a little different. You know how you're supposed to
32:15
be 18 and 21 to smoke and 21 to drink.
32:19
Nobody gave a fuck what we wanted.
32:22
So we get our hands on porn and it was usually through, you
32:25
know, just friends of people just circulating their hands on
32:28
every fucking thing. Then we used to drink in New
32:30
Orleans because drinking age was 18.
32:32
It was. You know what's crazy?
32:35
It's that my friend had been waiting because she liked to
32:39
smoke and she like vaped and she can never buy her own stuff
32:42
because she was under 18 and she turned 18 and a week after she
32:46
turned 18 they changed the law to 20. 1.
32:49
She was so mad because I was still 19 then so I couldn't even
32:54
go and get it for her. It was so.
32:56
It is bullshit you can join the fucking Marines at 18.
32:59
Oh. Yeah, you can go get shot in the
33:01
fields. You can't buy a pack of
33:02
cigarettes. Yeah, God forbid you're gonna
33:04
need a pack of smokes as you go to Iraq, boys and girls, I'm
33:06
telling you. You know, back in the 80s,
33:09
nineties, in order to get, you know, VHS movies that were
33:13
obviously dirty and a lot of porn stores, not, excuse me, not
33:16
porn stores, video stores. Yeah.
33:18
In the back. Yeah.
33:20
Yeah, exactly. The curtain back.
33:22
Exactly. Behind the green curtain.
33:25
The thing was you could, you could use VCRS to copy those
33:29
tapes, yes. I didn't know about that because
33:32
I know like taping over things like I know a.
33:34
Little square on the bottom of it and then you can record over
33:37
it. You can use it to record.
33:39
But anyway, yeah, there was all kind of boot like shit
33:40
everywhere and that's how we got our porn.
33:42
Everybody just shared with each other.
33:44
It was like Napster before Napster.
33:49
I will say the way I got to porn when I was younger was I kinda
33:54
cause like when you search things up, obviously it goes to
33:56
your search history. Well, I didn't know what
33:58
Incognito mode was or how to do it, which is basically it
34:01
doesn't go into your search history.
34:02
So I got creative. I would go to Instagram and I
34:06
would type in Pornhub in the search and then these fake bot
34:10
accounts would pop up and I'd look for an account that had the
34:12
Pornhub link in the bio. So when I clicked on the the bio
34:16
through Instagram, it didn't open Google, it just opened
34:19
Pornhub. So it never went to my history.
34:22
And so that's kind of how I did that, you know, super, super
34:25
different experience than hiding the VHS player.
34:29
That's how I found it. Like little little 13 year olds.
34:31
Like I gotta go watch girls kiss on.
34:33
My 13 or 14 year old days were Playboys, mainly Playboy and
34:37
then Hustler if we were really lucky to get our hands on one.
34:39
That was the vintage. That was a nice part.
34:42
I have a few playboys at my house that are really cute
34:45
because my friends are. Like boring.
34:46
Now I couldn't imagine just having that.
34:49
I know sometimes I look back and like I was like, man, I was 14
34:52
and I was just watching girls kiss and I thought I was seeing
34:54
the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life and now look
34:57
what I do. That's awesome.
35:02
Well, there was that one other thing that I was going to bring
35:06
up and I honestly, I've had a brain fart.
35:08
You 2 cracked me the fuck up. Honestly.
35:10
No, it wasn't about the party. I don't.
35:13
Are you going to fire me now? Tell us a story when you first
35:17
sat down. No, I told you the brothers
35:19
story. OK, OK, OK.
35:20
Yeah, I don't remember. Oh fuck it.
35:24
You're probably just going to fire me live on air.
35:27
Take my job on blogging. Judicial punishment?
35:31
Come on. I'm not a new flogger.
35:33
But the next episode we're doing, we're going to talk about
35:36
what celebrities we would fuck and what you think they like in
35:39
bed. I'm going to know a whole
35:41
different selection of celebrities than you guys.
35:44
That's OK. I'll have to bring up pictures
35:47
because my first celebrity crush was wild.
35:49
We want fucking visuals. No, Yeah, we're going to have
35:52
to. Probably get a fucking point.
35:57
I'm going to have to pull them up and be like, OK, I had a
35:59
crush on this bitch. Everybody who's that?
36:01
I'm like, oh, I had a crush on when I was a kid in 2011.
36:06
Wow, we were, like, married and doing our own shit.
36:09
OK, I gotcha. Are we ready?
36:11
Yeah. We're going to close this close
36:14
this episode. Charles, thanks for joining us.
36:17
Thank you for having me, Mia. Always fun and Barbie.
36:20
Stay badass, OK people. People will fear you one day,
36:24
don't worry. You're going to fear me whether
36:26
you like it or not. Just keep wearing those fucking
36:30
8 inch heels, right? Right, there's 8 inch heels that
36:33
she wears. Yeah, yeah.
36:37
Yeah, you hear that? So she could stomp on you, Mia.
36:41
Told y'all guys to be scared of me.
36:43
What you're going to have to do is step on a few Dicks and get
36:45
it on camera. That's true the other day for
36:48
the first time. Charles, are you volunteering
36:50
for her first video on that? Sure.
36:54
Just wear their shoes. I have this very little, I said.
36:58
No two in this building. Hey, they're really sharp right
37:01
now. My my dog chewed off the plastic
37:03
stopper, so it's just a little piece of wire.
37:05
So I might filed my safety reasons.
37:07
Yeah, I might circumcise you or something.
37:10
Or it happens. You ever had a second one about
37:13
to? Sure, something similar has
37:16
happened. Well hell, you burned my Dick
37:19
and then slept it out. So in my defense.
37:21
I don't know. That's OK.
37:23
So, Charles, tell us the joke. We'll close it off with that
37:26
about a man. Remember, you and I had a
37:29
conversation. OK.
37:30
Yeah, yeah. Here we go.
37:31
What is a? Useless piece of skin attached
37:34
to a man's penis. The Promulum.
37:40
Well, you you think you'd go a foreskin or something, but no,
37:42
the joke was the the man. You know, I almost said that.
37:47
But I'm boom. And on that note, may all your
37:51
fantasies become. Realities.
37:55
That is not sexy. You fucking redo that.
37:58
Is that is that guilt porn? I'm telling yes, that's a big
38:01
one. Ask the granny as I like to
38:02
fuck. I freaking you're going to tell
38:04
me to say realities and then I panic.
38:07
You were looking that shit up earlier.
38:09
Yes, yes. So everybody needs to let me
38:11
know. They need to write in and let us
38:13
know what kind of porn they really want to see.
38:15
Yeah, no, that, that'll be helpful.
38:17
Not us starring in it. So, Tony, Steve, we all want to
38:21
know what kind of porn you want to watch.
38:23
Anybody else? By all means, let us know now
38:26
we're going to do this. You're going to do the sexy
38:28
voice ready. OK, so and they all your
38:31
fantasies become. Reality.