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How Do narcissists feel when you finally call it quits · The Mental Healness Podcast

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So how do narcissists feel when you finally call it quits?
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I know y'all see the hair. I know y'all see the hair.
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New hair, new me. Seriously, how do they feel
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inside? What happens to a narcissist
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when you finally decide that you're done for good?
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There's no going back into the toxicity.
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You are not you. You went no contact.
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You disappeared. You ghosted them.
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How do they feel inside? That's what we're talking about
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today, y'all. Of course you're new here.
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I'm Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
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myself. And welcome to another episode
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of The Narcissist Code. We're getting closer to that
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release of the mental illness podcast, y'all.
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We are absolutely getting closer to the first drop and then it'll
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keep dropping and dropping and dropping and dropping.
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But yes, make sure you subscribe, like, comment, turn
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on, turn on your notifications so you do not miss an episode of
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the the new podcast that's launching my interview series.
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But yeah, yeah, let's hop right into it.
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Narcissistic people, toxic people hate it.
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When you are done for good, let's keep you up.
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I'm keeping it hot. I'm keeping it ready like a
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Little Caesar's pizza. Y'all know that's what I do,
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Yeah. Little Caesars need to go ahead
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and send me a sponsorship too. I'll talk about Little Caesars.
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It's way too much for them to just.
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I'm just all saying something else.
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Domino's keep hydrated like a Domino's beast.
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No, but seriously, how do they feel inside when you, your
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empathetic self, your healing self, are done for good?
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First off, a lot of narces don't ever think you'll be done.
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Let's get let's, let's go ahead and get this first tidbit out
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the way. There are a ton of narcissists
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and toxic people out there who do not think that you would ever
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be done with them. They don't think you can.
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They think that they are the best thing that has ever
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happened to you, even if they've done you horribly, even if they
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treated you terribly, even if they've done so much, so much
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wrong to you, even if they've hurt you, harm you, put their
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hands on you, just treated you like the scum of the damn earth.
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They don't think you'll ever be done with them.
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But why Lee? Why Lee?
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Why in the hell wouldn't they think that I will be done after
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they've done so much? Because maybe you've taken them
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back before, after they've done something similar, you know,
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again, this is not victim blaming.
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This is just me letting you know how a narcissist or highly toxic
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person thinks in these situations.
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They could absolutely think that you that you'll just come back
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again. Hey, I know I beat their ass
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before black their eye, blooded their nose, broken their bones,
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whatever. I've done some horrible ass
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stuff to them and they still came back.
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They called me, they reached out to me, they dropped the charges,
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they made sure I didn't go to jail.
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They gave me money, they kept me out of jail, so I don't think
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that they're ever be done with me.
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I plus also plus I convinced them that we were twin flames or
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that we were kindred spirits or whatever other stuff like
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whatever that type of shit is like twin, twin flames, kindred
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spirits. I convinced them that we had a
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soul tie. We had a very special soul tie.
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I soul tie was like a like a like a shoe Strat like a tie
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shoe. It wasn't just a normal tie like
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this. It was like a like you tie
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shoot. It had two bows and everything.
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We had a special soul tie. That's what they saying right
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now. This is got the type of stuff
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that they say to you right now with it.
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What goes on in their minds. They think that they've
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convinced you if they've done enough work to keep you right
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where you are mentally, emotionally, physically, all of
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the above. They really do believe that
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y'all, I know y'all are just thinking like, what the hell?
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Why Lee? Why the hell would they believe
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something so stupid? Because, and I'm not calling you
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stupid, please don't take it that way because some of them do
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think that you're dumb. You know, I don't know how to
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keep it straightforward on this channel.
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I don't, I try not to try to just just move over too many
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things. I have to keep it straight and
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real with you in order to try to successfully shock your system.
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There are a lot of narcissists that think you're stupid and I
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I'm when I'm doing my one on ones, there are people that say
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that to me. They must think I'm stupid and
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I'll say yes, they are. They do think you're stupid.
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I'm not saying you stupid. They think you are.
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They think that you're going to believe this stupid ass stuff
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that this stupid ass dumbass story that they told you.
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They think that you're going to do that.
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They believe that you're going to do that right.
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They truly, truly, truly believe that you're going to go above
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and beyond and do that type of stuff right there.
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That's what they're thinking right now in this moment in
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time. They truly think that right now,
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right? So that's where we that's where
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we go wrong right there. You see what I'm saying?
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They think you're stupid. I'm not calling you stupid.
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They just think you are. Got it.
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So there again, there's some narcissists that don't think
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you're done, but others the way the others feel, man, get the
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hell out of here. Some of them absolutely lose
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their minds when they think you're done for good.
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Will you go no contact? Will you, if you change your
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number, if you finally block them, if they, if y'all have
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iPhones and that message turns Green Man, that message turns
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Green Man. They lose they damn minds.
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They lose it. They lose their minds, I promise
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you. And once they lose their minds,
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there is nothing you can do. I promise you.
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Of course, you got to stay no contact.
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But there's nothing they can do to stop the minds from shifting
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and thinking about. Because once they think you're
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done, once they think you're done for good and you go to
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them, the mind automatically shifts to you being with someone
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else. You don't have to have someone
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else, right? You might you.
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Maybe you do. Because sometimes you disconnect
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before they do, right? You disconnect before the
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narcissist does, and that's OK. You know, you disconnect before
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they do, and then you break up with them and you leave them and
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you've had you find somebody else quickly.
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That doesn't make you a narcissist.
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I actually talked to a woman about probably about a year ago
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that we had a conversation about that.
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She's like Lee. I disconnected from my
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narcissistic ex a year before I left.
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And about about a month after I left for good, I found somebody
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else and I'm happy. Oh, yeah.
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I can see how my videos might point you in direction, might
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make you think you're an artist because you moved on quickly.
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But you didn't move on quickly. You moved on a year before, just
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emotionally. But you're still physically with
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them, trying to disconnect for good.
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But yeah, they automatically think that you're with someone
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else. That's where the mind goes.
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Because it's like, it can't, yeah, it can't be me.
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It just can't be me. It can't be me.
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It can't be my fault how this stuff is going, right?
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It absolutely cannot be who I am and what's been going on in this
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situation, right? It really cannot be that.
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You know what I mean? It truly, they can't not take
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accountability for what they've done, which is why when they try
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to come back, it doesn't work out.
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They'll make these promises to change.
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They'll say this and they'll say that, but will they actually
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change? No, right, because they can't.
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They haven't taken accountability because they're
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putting it on to you. They're putting all the blame
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squirrely on your empathetic shoulders.
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That's what be happening right there.
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They're putting the blame all on you.
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They're telling you that you did this, you did that, blah blah
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blah, Boo Boo Boo Boo BBB. They're putting it all on you.
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And you know damn well it's not on you.
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You know damn well that is not your fault.
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You didn't do anything to this person.
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This is on them. Like they treated you horribly
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and you decided to leave. But they automatically do think
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you with somebody else. Hey, I don't make the rules.
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That's just where the mind goes. Because it's like in order to
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make myself, in order to make myself feel better, when
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somebody leaves me, I have to pacify myself.
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And the quickest way for me to pacify myself and make myself
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feel better is to just blame you and put it on you and say, hey,
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you're the cheater. Hey, you left me for somebody
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else. Hey, you found somebody else.
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It's not me like you. I did.
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I did everything I could do. I treated you as good as I could
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treat you. It still wasn't enough.
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It's on you. They'll put it on to you.
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They'll directly put it on to you.
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So again, this is where the mind goes right here.
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They put it on to you. They blame you and they
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automatically assume that you have someone else.
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And that's why somehow they'll they'll straight up tell you.
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They'll tell you you must have someone else.
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It must be someone else. Why don't you just tell me who
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it is? Tell me who it is so I can, I
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can go fight him. Tell me who it is.
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I can go beat the ass. Tell me who it is.
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Yeah. They'll automatically lose their
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minds and think you were with somebody else.
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You know what I mean, right? Another thing that a lot of
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narcissists will do when you finally call the quiz is if they
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haven't already, they'll move on quickly.
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You know that that's this typical I go, if they haven't
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done it already, they will be the ones to absolutely move on
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quickly. They will be the ones that do
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this type of stuff move on very quickly and disappear on you
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like or not disappear on you. They'll move on very quickly to
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try to pacify themselves, just like I stated in the previous
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kind of the previous section, how to pacify themselves by
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saying you found somebody else. They will also pacify themselves
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by saying, hey, look, you're the cheater, you're the liar, you're
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the manipulator. You did this, you did that.
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All of this is on you. They'll just move on quickly.
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They'll love bomb the hell out of somebody else.
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They'll find somebody else to absolutely love bomb and lose
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their minds on, lose their minds with.
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This is where they'll go with everything.
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I promise you. This is how the mind goes.
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This is how they operate. This is the internal, this is
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the internal functioning system of narcissistic people.
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They absolutely put it directly onto you.
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They do. They put it onto you.
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They'll say, hey, you did this. Hey, look, you did that.
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Hey, look, this is what's going on, blah, blah, blah, BBB, you
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know what I mean? But that's the mindset.
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They'll find somebody else. They'll move on quickly.
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But guess what? Just because they move on
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quickly doesn't mean that they forgot about you.
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That's what This is why This is why I get right here.
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I get this a lot in one on ones too.
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Well, people would just say, hey, Lee, I know I'm the one
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that left. I know I'm the one that ended
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the relationship, but the fact that they moved on quickly, it
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still hurts. It's not about you.
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It's about them trying to feel better.
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They're trying to find a way to feel better and the the quickest
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way to validate themselves and to feel better in a lot of these
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situations after blaming you or before blaming you or including
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blaming you is to find somebody else.
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Hey, if somebody else wants me, I can't be the problem.
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If there's somebody else out there that wants me, it can't be
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me. I cannot be the problem because
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somebody else wants me. So sometimes the narcissist
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finds a new supply, not because they are in love or because they
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want a new because they're, you know what I'm saying, They find
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somebody else's just validate their existence.
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I can't self validate. It's very difficult for a
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narcissist to self validate. So they have to find an external
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source. And a lot of times the external
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source is a a new person. So if somebody else wants me, it
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can't be me, right? If somebody else wants me, it
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can't be my fault that you got away.
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You see what I'm saying? That's where it goes.
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If there's somebody else out there that wants to be with me,
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then it must be your fault. It can't be me.
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I'm good because someone else wants me.
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So a lot of times when you call the quiz for good, they'll do
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this type of stuff. And another thing that they'll
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do when they when you call the quiz for good is y'all better be
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y'all. Some of y'all probably already
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experienced this, but if you haven't experienced this and you
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are experiencing it right now, watch.
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I'll put that damn smear campaign because it's coming.
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If you haven't already gotten that smear campaign, you know
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damn well it's coming. That smear campaign is deep.
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This smear campaign is fierce. That smear campaign is terrible.
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It's coming. It might be already here, you
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know, but it might already be here.
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They're going to lie. They're going to spread rumors.
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They're going to say you did what they did.
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They're going to just try to, they, they're going to do a lot
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of different things. Of course they're going to do a
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lot of different things in order to try to make themselves feel
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better or in order to try to get ahead of you.
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They think that you're going to do what they do what they are
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doing. So they're trying to get ahead
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of you. They think you're going to
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expose them. So they try to expose you first,
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right? They try to put the lies and
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stuff out there before you get an opportunity to.
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So you're battling their lies. You see what I'm saying?
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That's what ends up happening, y'all.
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So if you call the quiz for good, of course they're going to
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try to find somebody else. They're going to start a smear
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campaign. But again, y'all know some of
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them will lose their minds and start stalking the hell out of
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you. The stalker, scary ass
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narcissist, they out there too. They'll stalk the hell out of
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you to put fear into your heart in order to scare the hell out
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of you and make you, you know what I'm saying?
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They'll keep stalking you so you don't move on.
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If you call it quits, you turn, You disconnect your phone
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number, You file a retraining order.
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It doesn't. Retraining order is just a piece
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of paper, y'all. It's just a legal precedent.
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It's just legal stuff legally doesn't stop them physically.
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You still need to protect yourself.
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Even if you get a restraining order, protective order,
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whatever, no contact order, you still have to protect yourself
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because again, that's just somebody else telling them what
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to do. And you know, narcis, that
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doesn't work on most narcis. Most narcis, I'm not going to be
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told what to do. They're not going to listen to
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somebody else and whatnot. So some of them will stalk you,
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harass you, and do all kinds of other stuff in order to try
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again to make themselves feel better because you hurt their
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feelings. You broke their little
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narcissistic hearts, you done a number on their asses and they
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can't stand it. You know what I mean?
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So be very careful. Y'all, when you call the quits
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for good. I'll say this in in closing
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y'all, when you call the quits for good, you need to be done
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for good. Because if you break no contact
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and you go back to them again after you've ghosted them, after
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you've changed your phone number, after you've moved,
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what's the point? You'd have moved, change your
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phone number, all to just give them the phone number and give
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them your address again. You wasted this to waste the
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opportunity. You don't move again or change
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your phone number again, you know what I'm saying?
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You put your kids in danger again.
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Come on now baby, we gotta wake up, we gotta wake up, we gotta
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wake up, we gotta stay up, y'all.
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Anyways, y'all hit the subscribe button, turn on those
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notifications if you haven't already again because the
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podcast is launching and y'all not going to want to miss any
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episode of the podcast. Y'all hit the subscribe button
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and I'm out. Peace.