Latest / The Trauma Therapist / 3 Days of Pure Validation with Gabriella Tranchina
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Theapist podcast. My name is gamickperson.
- 0:04Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
- 0:07Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
- 0:11Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
- 0:15Speaker 1: Five four, three, two and one folks, Welcome back to
- 0:19Speaker 1: the podcast. Super excited to have as my guest today.
- 0:22Speaker 1: Gabriella Tranquina. Gabriella, welcome.
- 0:25Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. Super honored to
- 0:27Speaker 2: be here.
- 0:28Speaker 1: Appreciate that. Gabriella is a creator and host of Gabriella Rebranded,
- 0:34Speaker 1: a spiritual podcast about healing after trauma, brain injury, recovery,
- 0:38Speaker 1: and spiritual growth, told with honesty and dark humor. After
- 0:42Speaker 1: surviving at three and a half week coma, brain surgery
- 0:45Speaker 1: and multiple fractures for being struck by a car, Gabriella
- 0:49Speaker 1: reframed her life around resilience, spirituality, and joy even in
- 0:53Speaker 1: the face of adversity. Her work promotes trauma healing, disability advocacy,
- 0:58Speaker 1: and personal transformation listeners to reconnect with meaning, positive energy
- 1:03Speaker 1: and their own stories of survival. All right, Gabriella, I
- 1:07Speaker 1: can feel your energy already. I love it. I love
- 1:11Speaker 1: it so much? Yeah, love it. I was like, before
- 1:16Speaker 1: we get going share with the listeners where you're from
- 1:19Speaker 1: originally and where you are currently?
- 1:21Speaker 2: I am from Long Island, New York. Would you hear
- 1:23Speaker 2: when I say Long Island?
- 1:25Speaker 1: Love it? I used to live in Long Island?
- 1:27Speaker 2: Oat? Nice?
- 1:28Speaker 1: Where about in Shoreham?
- 1:30Speaker 2: Okay? Nice?
- 1:31Speaker 1: I'm from Mintlasset It's on the north awesome.
- 1:35Speaker 2: And I currently live in Los Angeles.
- 1:37Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So let's dive in. How the heck did
- 1:41Speaker 1: all this start for you?
- 1:43Speaker 2: Oh my god? Well, how it really started was I
- 1:47Speaker 2: left a pair of sunglasses at a restaurant and I
- 1:49Speaker 2: went back to get them, and I was walking back
- 1:51Speaker 2: to my car and another car appeared and ran over me.
- 1:55Speaker 2: So that's how it really all started. But how this, uh,
- 2:00Speaker 2: the podcast and everything that I've done since has started
- 2:04Speaker 2: is I really needed I needed something to cling to.
- 2:09Speaker 2: I needed something to believe in because so much when
- 2:12Speaker 2: I was recovering was just going wrong and wrong and wrong.
- 2:15Speaker 1: Well, hang on, hang on, hand, I don't want any
- 2:17Speaker 1: but you gotta go back. What the hell happened? You
- 2:20Speaker 1: got hit? And what happened?
- 2:21Speaker 2: Yes? I was hit? I was hit by car I
- 2:25Speaker 2: was crossing the street legally. I like to add legally,
- 2:29Speaker 2: and a car didn't see me. They hit me. Brought
- 2:33Speaker 2: to Cedar Sinai. Really lucky. That's a big spiritual moment.
- 2:36Speaker 2: I chose a great place to get hit by a car,
- 2:39Speaker 2: second best hospital in America. So I was brought to
- 2:42Speaker 2: Cedar Sinai. They did what they had to do in
- 2:46Speaker 2: terms of the brain, brain surgery and all that, but
- 2:50Speaker 2: there was a lot more that went on. I've in
- 2:53Speaker 2: the past for not recently because it's been a little
- 2:57Speaker 2: bit of a break, but I wound up having surgeries
- 2:59Speaker 2: for two and a half years. How old were you
- 3:02Speaker 2: sixteen surgeries. I was twenty three when I got hit
- 3:05Speaker 2: and my last surgery I had when I was twenty five. Yeah,
- 3:09Speaker 2: so it was it was a long healing process and
- 3:15Speaker 2: I really needed something to get me through and that's
- 3:18Speaker 2: when I found spirituality. Actually, what started it for me
- 3:22Speaker 2: was I read The Universe as Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein,
- 3:24Speaker 2: who you've also had as a podcast guest, and that's
- 3:27Speaker 2: what started it. It didn't, it didn't really end there.
- 3:32Speaker 2: I didn't I wasn't the best spiritual student right away,
- 3:37Speaker 2: but that's what originally birthed it?
- 3:40Speaker 1: When Okay, so, at what point did you experience a
- 3:47Speaker 1: coma or were you in the coma?
- 3:51Speaker 2: As soon as I was hit, I woke up in
- 3:54Speaker 2: the hospital, woke up. It's not like the movies. It's
- 3:57Speaker 2: not like you wake up and just start talking. It's
- 3:59Speaker 2: like a very gradual A lot of the parts of
- 4:02Speaker 2: the brain need to heal. So I gained consciousness and
- 4:07Speaker 2: was technically not comatose anymore at three and a half weeks,
- 4:11Speaker 2: but my memory hadn't healed yet. So my earliest memory
- 4:15Speaker 2: was a little over a month, and it was leaving
- 4:17Speaker 2: the hospital to go to inpatient rehab. And even then
- 4:21Speaker 2: it's a very blurry, very chopped up memory. My entire
- 4:25Speaker 2: time in rehab is kind of in and out in
- 4:28Speaker 2: black and white. Some things I remember very clearly. A
- 4:32Speaker 2: lot is a blur. But yeah, that's my biggest takeaway
- 4:36Speaker 2: that I want people to know, is that waking up.
- 4:38Speaker 2: So many people ask me what was your first thought
- 4:40Speaker 2: when you woke up from the coma. That's not how
- 4:42Speaker 2: it works, that's not how That's how Hollywood makes it seem,
- 4:46Speaker 2: but that's not how it works. So I wouldn't know,
- 4:51Speaker 2: so you're.
- 4:54Speaker 1: I mean, you wake up and what are you feeling?
- 4:58Speaker 1: What are you thinking?
- 5:00Speaker 2: Okay, Well, my first memory was the sound of my
- 5:04Speaker 2: mom's voice telling me I was hit by a car.
- 5:06Speaker 2: No visuals, just the sound of her voice. Apparently I
- 5:10Speaker 2: kept forgetting what had happened, so my mom had to
- 5:13Speaker 2: tell me about six times that I was hit by
- 5:15Speaker 2: a car, which was traumatic for her and her own right,
- 5:18Speaker 2: that's really really hard. But my first concrete thought, aside
- 5:23Speaker 2: from the fact, was being thankful I wasn't texting Walder walking.
- 5:27Speaker 2: I was walking, not driving. But aside from the fact
- 5:30Speaker 2: that I wasn't staring at my phone when I had
- 5:32Speaker 2: my accident, was and I was crossing legally. My first
- 5:36Speaker 2: real thought was this will not all be for nothing.
- 5:40Speaker 2: The only way out is through, and this won't all
- 5:44Speaker 2: be for nothing. Something good is going to come out
- 5:47Speaker 2: of this this. I will not just have a break
- 5:51Speaker 2: from my life and that is it. It's going to
- 5:54Speaker 2: produce something really great.
- 5:57Speaker 1: Okay. So that's a pretty kick ass feeling and thought
- 6:01Speaker 1: to have. I mean, was that you even going even
- 6:05Speaker 1: before this?
- 6:06Speaker 2: No, not all. It's so crazy because now people always
- 6:11Speaker 2: talk about how positive and bubbly I am No one
- 6:14Speaker 2: would have described me as that before my accident. I
- 6:16Speaker 2: think I was. I was a pretty negative person. I
- 6:21Speaker 2: was a pretty negative person. If there was one thing
- 6:23Speaker 2: I was good at, it was complaining. This accident was
- 6:28Speaker 2: it really woke me up? It really sort of changed
- 6:32Speaker 2: everything about the way I moved through the world. I'm
- 6:34Speaker 2: a much better person now.
- 6:36Speaker 1: Yeah, So how did you get there? Will you just
- 6:44Speaker 1: hang on before you answered that? So? Were you forgive
- 6:47Speaker 1: me for projecting? But were you in bed? I mean
- 6:51Speaker 1: at some point going what the fuck is going on?
- 6:54Speaker 1: How am I gonna? Did you have experienced self pity?
- 7:00Speaker 2: Yes? So I was determined to move back to La.
- 7:05Speaker 2: I was living in LA at the time, and I
- 7:07Speaker 2: was determined to get back here because I did not
- 7:10Speaker 2: want my life to be on pause. And I thought
- 7:12Speaker 2: the longer I was out of LA, the longer I
- 7:14Speaker 2: wasn't hanging out with my friends, the longer I wasn't
- 7:17Speaker 2: I was an actor at the time, the longer I
- 7:19Speaker 2: wasn't pursuing acting, the farther away I was getting from myself,
- 7:23Speaker 2: and I was determined to get back. And all the
- 7:25Speaker 2: way up until La, I had a pretty positive disposition.
- 7:30Speaker 2: And even though I was very underhealed and should not
- 7:33Speaker 2: have moved back. I seemed physically fine enough because my
- 7:36Speaker 2: problems were up here and we didn't realize how bad
- 7:40Speaker 2: I say we, meaning me, my parents, my deficits were
- 7:43Speaker 2: until I moved back, and I was responsible for running
- 7:46Speaker 2: my entire life by myself. Because while I was recovering
- 7:50Speaker 2: at home, you know, I had my parents. They were
- 7:52Speaker 2: making sure the fridge was stocked, they were making me food,
- 7:55Speaker 2: they were driving me here, there, everywhere. And then I
- 7:58Speaker 2: went to La and suddenly I was by myself, alone
- 8:01Speaker 2: in the studio apartment, and I to do everything. I
- 8:05Speaker 2: was determined or I thought that something was going to
- 8:09Speaker 2: click in a place eventually, and I thought the law
- 8:12Speaker 2: of averages. I had a lot of bad and now
- 8:14Speaker 2: I was going to get some good. Something's going to
- 8:15Speaker 2: click in a place me right, Everything went wrong. Everything
- 8:23Speaker 2: I wasn't let back into my acting class. I lost
- 8:27Speaker 2: a lot of friends. I was having panic attacks left
- 8:31Speaker 2: and right, which drove a lot of people away. I
- 8:34Speaker 2: wasn't having panic attacks while I lived at home. They
- 8:37Speaker 2: started when I was back in La living by myself.
- 8:40Speaker 2: I couldn't function. Just managing my own life was impossible.
- 8:46Speaker 2: I couldn't even do my part time job. I couldn't
- 8:48Speaker 2: do anything. And just before the first year anniversary of
- 8:54Speaker 2: my accident, I came home and I went to a
- 8:57Speaker 2: reiki healer, Tina Conroy. She was She's the one who
- 9:01Speaker 2: told me to read the universe has her back. I
- 9:03Speaker 2: owe everything to her. She was just a local woman
- 9:06Speaker 2: from around my town that my family knew growing up.
- 9:10Speaker 2: And I went to her and I was like, everything's
- 9:13Speaker 2: going wrong. I can't get something to work. I thought
- 9:16Speaker 2: I was the Universe's comedic relief. That was how I
- 9:19Speaker 2: said it. I was like, I think I'm the Universe's
- 9:22Speaker 2: comedic relief. Nothing's going right. Everything I try, I am losing.
- 9:26Speaker 2: I was desperate. I truly had nothing to believe in.
- 9:33Speaker 2: And then in December, because this was about in October
- 9:37Speaker 2: that I saw her. In December, a surgery that I
- 9:40Speaker 2: had went wrong. It was one of the five surgeries
- 9:43Speaker 2: I've had for this ie and it was over a
- 9:45Speaker 2: month of five complications. It was ultimately deemed a failure.
- 9:52Speaker 2: So now I wasn't even healing correctly, and I was
- 9:56Speaker 2: just in this self pitying state of life, like I
- 10:00Speaker 2: cannot get everything, Like I've lost everything, and drufully, I
- 10:06Speaker 2: was a little suicidal, and I said I didn't have
- 10:11Speaker 2: plans to kill myself, but I said, if another car
- 10:13Speaker 2: came around and hit me and this time I died,
- 10:15Speaker 2: I wouldn't be upset about it. That was how I
- 10:17Speaker 2: truly felt. And then I went on a brain injury
- 10:21Speaker 2: retreat via the organization Love Your Brain, great organization, and I.
- 10:26Speaker 1: Had what is what is I've never heard of that?
- 10:29Speaker 1: What is that your brain?
- 10:31Speaker 2: Oh my god? Well, yeah, they are fabulous. They are
- 10:35Speaker 2: an organization that was started by Kevin Pierce. And if
- 10:38Speaker 2: you remember the Vancouver Olympics and twenty ten, there was
- 10:42Speaker 2: that snowboarder from America who was expected to beat Sean
- 10:45Speaker 2: White and then like a month out from the Olympics,
- 10:48Speaker 2: he got really hurt. I don't know if you remember that.
- 10:50Speaker 2: I'm vaguely vaguely yes. That was Kevin Pierce. And he
- 10:55Speaker 2: his entire life was going to be a snowboarder. He
- 10:58Speaker 2: was pro snowboarding. That was all he knew. And then
- 11:01Speaker 2: while he was training, he had an arly fall sustained
- 11:04Speaker 2: to TBI had brain surgery, which is what I have
- 11:07Speaker 2: going on. He couldn't go back to snowboarding, so similar
- 11:10Speaker 2: to me. His friends were snowboarders, his entire light. He
- 11:15Speaker 2: had dropped out of normal school to work on snowboarding.
- 11:18Speaker 2: That was his everything, his girlfriend was and he lost everything.
- 11:22Speaker 2: How he moved forward is like me. He decided he
- 11:27Speaker 2: wanted to bleed something positive to the world and he
- 11:30Speaker 2: started Love Your Brain, which is an organization for brain
- 11:34Speaker 2: injured persons and also their families. There's a caregiver support
- 11:38Speaker 2: group that my mom and her original tribe. They still
- 11:41Speaker 2: independently meet.
- 11:42Speaker 1: Over three years later.
- 11:44Speaker 2: Yeah, and I went on this retreat and I finally
- 11:48Speaker 2: that's what inspired me to start my podcast because I
- 11:51Speaker 2: was finally validated. I finally met other people who knew
- 11:54Speaker 2: what I was going through, which I hadn't yet had.
- 11:58Speaker 2: I finally met other people that my struggles, and I said,
- 12:02Speaker 2: I need to be this for other trauma survivors. And
- 12:05Speaker 2: I think about all types of trauma, but I'm going
- 12:07Speaker 2: to do the best I can.
- 12:10Speaker 1: Look at you, I love you. I love your your
- 12:14Speaker 1: your your energy, and your passion. So you was that
- 12:19Speaker 1: a turning point for you? Yes?
- 12:21Speaker 2: It was, okay, a major turning point. When I am
- 12:26Speaker 2: finally done with my book and it's published, because I
- 12:29Speaker 2: have to do a bit more CPTSD therapy healing to
- 12:32Speaker 2: not be toxically positive in the book. I owe a
- 12:35Speaker 2: lot to that. That retreat was the turning point in
- 12:39Speaker 2: my recovery. That moment, it was almost a year and
- 12:42Speaker 2: a half after I had had my accident, and that
- 12:45Speaker 2: was the start of me creating the life that I
- 12:47Speaker 2: have now, creating the disposition I have now, creating the
- 12:52Speaker 2: energy that I have now. It was finally being validated,
- 12:56Speaker 2: and that was like, wow, I this was what I need.
- 13:00Speaker 2: I felt so alone for a year and a half.
- 13:03Speaker 2: I need to give this to other people because it
- 13:06Speaker 2: was really just finally being heard.
- 13:10Speaker 1: Finally being heard. Talk to us about that experience. Was
- 13:17Speaker 1: it like you're in a group and just people got it,
- 13:20Speaker 1: they understood you say more.
- 13:23Speaker 2: It was three days of pure validation, That's how I
- 13:27Speaker 2: describe it. And the first day there was a lot
- 13:30Speaker 2: of us, so we only got ninety seconds. But for
- 13:33Speaker 2: ninety seconds, you talked about what brought you to love
- 13:36Speaker 2: your brain. You talked about what happened and hearing what
- 13:40Speaker 2: everyone had been through, no matter how big or small,
- 13:43Speaker 2: they were overlaps in all of our experiences and It
- 13:47Speaker 2: was an incredibly emotional moment for me just being there
- 13:51Speaker 2: and the three days we got to know each other.
- 13:54Speaker 2: We had a lot of activities, there was a lot
- 13:56Speaker 2: of bonding. I'm so close with a lot of people
- 13:58Speaker 2: from my original retreat. I love volunteering there now I volunteer,
- 14:02Speaker 2: I go back all the time. And it was just
- 14:05Speaker 2: finally connecting with other people. And also for me, I
- 14:08Speaker 2: was twenty three when I had my injury. I was
- 14:10Speaker 2: twenty four when I wanted this retreat. Not many people
- 14:13Speaker 2: have a traumatic brain injury, or not a traumatic brain injury,
- 14:17Speaker 2: but a severe brain injury, a severe medical situation when
- 14:21Speaker 2: they're as young as I was. And it was finally
- 14:24Speaker 2: meeting other people that were as young as I was,
- 14:27Speaker 2: when they were sort of picked up and thrown out
- 14:30Speaker 2: of their life. And it was this camaraderie that it
- 14:34Speaker 2: was developed among all ages. But wow, it's not just me,
- 14:38Speaker 2: because for a while it felt like it was just me,
- 14:41Speaker 2: But when you met other people, it's not just me.
- 14:45Speaker 2: And then it was also I learned that I was
- 14:48Speaker 2: healing really well, and I was doing everything I was
- 14:52Speaker 2: supposed to do, and that I still maintained my voice
- 14:56Speaker 2: and the ability to articulate and as clearly as I
- 15:01Speaker 2: still can after everything I had been through. Visually, I
- 15:06Speaker 2: can't do anything Visually, I'm the queen of losing my phone.
- 15:10Speaker 2: But I've still maintained this, and I was like, holy shit,
- 15:14Speaker 2: this is a blessing. I need to use this.
- 15:19Speaker 1: So love it. So you you decide there that you're
- 15:25Speaker 1: gonna was it. You're going to start a podcast, share
- 15:28Speaker 1: with our listeners the name of your podcast.
- 15:30Speaker 2: Gabriella Rebranded. That is the name of my podcast. That's
- 15:33Speaker 2: my social media, that's everything, and it's that was the
- 15:38Speaker 2: name of my podcast. And I had always so many
- 15:40Speaker 2: people had told me to write a book, and so
- 15:42Speaker 2: many people had told me to start a podcast. Before
- 15:45Speaker 2: I'd gotten hurt. People were telling me to start a
- 15:47Speaker 2: podcast because I'm great at talking, but I was like,
- 15:50Speaker 2: I don't have anything to talk about in a podcast.
- 15:53Speaker 2: And then this happened and I was like, Oh, I've
- 15:56Speaker 2: got a really big I've got a really huge topic
- 15:59Speaker 2: to talk about in a podcast. And that was the
- 16:02Speaker 2: moment I got serious about starting a book that again
- 16:05Speaker 2: we're still not done with because I have to heal
- 16:07Speaker 2: some of the CPTSD a little bit more to finish
- 16:10Speaker 2: the book. But that was when I got really real
- 16:13Speaker 2: about the podcast, because if I wasn't perfectly healed, I
- 16:17Speaker 2: could start the podcast because I could take it from
- 16:19Speaker 2: the perspective of I'm a student and I'm I'm learning
- 16:24Speaker 2: all this with you, and I'm figuring all all of
- 16:27Speaker 2: this out too. I don't have it all figured out yet.
- 16:29Speaker 2: I don't think any of us will ever have it
- 16:31Speaker 2: all figured out. But I'm still at the beginning of
- 16:34Speaker 2: my journey, and I'm journey and I'm right there with you.
- 16:37Speaker 2: So my podcast is very much from the perspective of
- 16:40Speaker 2: student and learning.
- 16:44Speaker 1: When what is it, Gabriella that I mean? I understand
- 16:52Speaker 1: it was validation was huge, But walking, let's say, walking
- 16:56Speaker 1: into that retreat, you were thinking you were all alone?
- 17:03Speaker 1: What no one would understand, no one understands you. What
- 17:08Speaker 1: is it that you was keeping you so isolated in
- 17:14Speaker 1: a sense, maybe physically and psychologically before you walked into
- 17:18Speaker 1: that room.
- 17:20Speaker 2: Well, I think the most beautiful moment that I had
- 17:24Speaker 2: while I was in impatient rehab that my mom brings
- 17:27Speaker 2: up all the time is there is one point where
- 17:29Speaker 2: I was in my bed like I could barely talk,
- 17:31Speaker 2: So it was like this, but I said, I'm the
- 17:34Speaker 2: only person under eighty here, like on this brain injury floor.
- 17:38Speaker 2: That's how I felt LA. Unfortunately, at the time I
- 17:43Speaker 2: was there, there were no brain injury support groups in LA,
- 17:48Speaker 2: and there was none, and sure there were online ones,
- 17:52Speaker 2: but it wasn't the same. I needed someone with me
- 17:55Speaker 2: and there were none. Now, California Rehab, which is where
- 17:59Speaker 2: I was posted up in Century City, Los Angeles, has
- 18:02Speaker 2: a brain injury support group, so why everyone did know that?
- 18:04Speaker 2: Now they have that, but they did it at the time,
- 18:07Speaker 2: so I knew no one that understood it. And the
- 18:10Speaker 2: problem was I present like this. I look pretty physically
- 18:15Speaker 2: fine on the outside. I can walk, I can use
- 18:18Speaker 2: both my arms, I can talk, I can do all that.
- 18:22Speaker 2: So no one really knew how her I still was.
- 18:25Speaker 2: No one really knew how damaged the brain was. So
- 18:29Speaker 2: from everyone around me's perspective, all the other former friends
- 18:33Speaker 2: from before my accident, it was like, well, why isn't
- 18:36Speaker 2: she back to normal? And they a lot of people,
- 18:39Speaker 2: I think they they didn't have the energy or the
- 18:44Speaker 2: capacity to be patient with me and extend the energy
- 18:47Speaker 2: that I needed because I needed a lot. I needed
- 18:50Speaker 2: a lot of handholding. Still and it was this completely
- 18:55Speaker 2: lost moment where I couldn't drink, which was wound up
- 19:00Speaker 2: being the smallest thing in the world. But loud noises.
- 19:03Speaker 2: I have hearing sensitivity. I couldn't take that. Bright lights.
- 19:07Speaker 2: I couldn't take that. I still need to sleep more
- 19:10Speaker 2: than the average person, but it was especially bad then
- 19:13Speaker 2: over stimulation. I still get very overstimulated. So I couldn't
- 19:17Speaker 2: go out with my friends. I wasn't My job was
- 19:22Speaker 2: remote and it was only part time, so I did
- 19:25Speaker 2: because I could barely do anything. So I didn't have
- 19:28Speaker 2: friends from work. I lived in a studio. I was
- 19:32Speaker 2: so alone. I had no one around me, and I
- 19:38Speaker 2: was so desperate for connection because I couldn't find any.
- 19:44Speaker 1: What is your goal with the podcast? Like, when you've
- 19:48Speaker 1: decided I'm going to do this, what was this you
- 19:51Speaker 1: wanted to do?
- 19:53Speaker 2: To be the voice for others that I needed when
- 19:55Speaker 2: I was going through the worst and the worst of
- 19:57Speaker 2: the word the worst of the worst, sorry, but to
- 20:00Speaker 2: be the voice for others that I needed because I
- 20:05Speaker 2: I had no one. I didn't think anyone got it.
- 20:09Speaker 2: Brain injury is very very intricate, and it's very confusing,
- 20:13Speaker 2: and even I'm blessed. My father is a doctor, so
- 20:16Speaker 2: he's a better understanding, but even my mom sort of
- 20:19Speaker 2: had no idea what was going on with me. She
- 20:21Speaker 2: kind of still she tries her best, and she's great.
- 20:24Speaker 2: I'm the best mom in the world, but there's still
- 20:26Speaker 2: a lot that she doesn't get because it's it's here,
- 20:29Speaker 2: it's internal. And as much as my dad has a
- 20:32Speaker 2: knowledge more than most, there is a bit he will
- 20:36Speaker 2: never understand because it's in here, and it's it's you
- 20:40Speaker 2: gotta feel it, you gotta you gotta live. From my perspective,
- 20:44Speaker 2: so it felt like no one got it and no
- 20:47Speaker 2: one understood me. And people tried their best, but no
- 20:51Speaker 2: one was fully there. And I know how when I
- 20:55Speaker 2: was isolated, when I was so alone, I was so
- 20:59Speaker 2: net if that it wasn't aiding my recovery. Positivity aids
- 21:03Speaker 2: or physical healing so much it aids. Everything in your
- 21:08Speaker 2: life just flows to you the more positive energy you exude,
- 21:12Speaker 2: and the first place that that positive energy starts is
- 21:16Speaker 2: just someone who understands. And I still to this day
- 21:20Speaker 2: when I meet other not just brain injury survivors, but
- 21:23Speaker 2: medical trauma survivors, it's such relief. It's like Oh my god,
- 21:27Speaker 2: someone finally someone understands. My friend Alyssa says that it's
- 21:32Speaker 2: like we have a shorthand with each other and that
- 21:35Speaker 2: like we're able to just understand, pick right up what
- 21:39Speaker 2: the other person is going through, and I was like, Wow,
- 21:42Speaker 2: all other trauma survivors, regardless if it's medical or not medical,
- 21:46Speaker 2: but need this too. They probably also feel this way.
- 21:49Speaker 2: So my goal with the podcast was that.
- 21:52Speaker 1: So give us a little understanding, and not that we're
- 21:55Speaker 1: gonna completely understand. But what is it that people don't
- 22:00Speaker 1: understand about people who've experienced a trauma such as yours.
- 22:05Speaker 2: I think what people don't understand is a brain injury.
- 22:09Speaker 2: It's lifelong, it's not an event. There is no it's
- 22:13Speaker 2: actually recently found out considered a chronic illness now, so
- 22:18Speaker 2: it's not something I won't one day just.
- 22:20Speaker 1: Be back to normal, like get over it. Get Yeah.
- 22:25Speaker 2: I am different who I was before the accident. I'm
- 22:28Speaker 2: not her anymore. I love her, I miss her. She
- 22:33Speaker 2: would be really excited to know who I am now.
- 22:37Speaker 2: But I'm different. That is very true.
- 22:40Speaker 1: Would you mind sharing how you're different?
- 22:43Speaker 2: I was someone who was I never needed alone time.
- 22:47Speaker 2: I didn't like to be home by myself for more
- 22:50Speaker 2: than five minutes. I was so extroverted. I was always
- 22:53Speaker 2: down to do anything.
- 22:54Speaker 1: Pretty extroverted.
- 22:55Speaker 2: Now I'm still extroverted, but I need my recharge time.
- 23:02Speaker 2: If I'm doing something on a Friday or Saturday, I
- 23:06Speaker 2: have to be very selective with who I give my
- 23:09Speaker 2: energy to. Now I can't say yes to everything. If
- 23:13Speaker 2: I'm doing something on a Saturday, then I have to
- 23:15Speaker 2: stay in on Friday. I'm a lot more cautious now.
- 23:20Speaker 2: I was kind of which isn't a bad thing. I
- 23:23Speaker 2: was a little too reckless, as a lot of young
- 23:25Speaker 2: people are. We all think we're invincible. I have to
- 23:29Speaker 2: be more cautious.
- 23:29Speaker 1: Now.
- 23:29Speaker 2: I'm so much more empathetic. Now I'm so much more sense.
- 23:34Speaker 2: I cry all the time. It is so easy to
- 23:37Speaker 2: make me cry. But because of that, I also feel
- 23:41Speaker 2: so much more for people, and I take pain so
- 23:45Speaker 2: much more seriously. I have a lot more of a
- 23:50Speaker 2: refined grasp on the fragility of life, and there is
- 23:55Speaker 2: definitely a level of emotional intelligence. I like the people
- 23:58Speaker 2: that are close to me to half. And before that
- 24:03Speaker 2: I was a very I mean, I was very like
- 24:11Speaker 2: I'm trying to find the words, I didn't give a
- 24:13Speaker 2: fuck Like that's I was a very I didn't give
- 24:17Speaker 2: a fuck. I was negative. I was I was kind
- 24:21Speaker 2: of like whatever about other people. I was very. I
- 24:26Speaker 2: mean I was super super dramatic about which I still
- 24:31Speaker 2: am a little bit, but dramatic in terms of anger
- 24:34Speaker 2: and dramatic in terms of sadness, and dramatic in terms
- 24:38Speaker 2: of everything had to be an event. And I was
- 24:43Speaker 2: so confrontational, whereas now it's definitely more. That's not that serious.
- 24:51Speaker 2: It's not that serious. I promise you. That little thing
- 24:55Speaker 2: that you're throwing to temper tantrum about, I promise you
- 24:58Speaker 2: it does not matter. And I used to throw a
- 25:01Speaker 2: tempertensium about everything, and now I promise you, as long
- 25:05Speaker 2: as your health is okay, your loved ones health is okay,
- 25:09Speaker 2: you know where your next meal is coming from. There's
- 25:11Speaker 2: a roof of her head. The rest you will figure out.
- 25:14Speaker 2: The rest will all be figured the fuck out. It's
- 25:16Speaker 2: not that deep. And I made everything deep.
- 25:22Speaker 1: Yeah, So you mentioned that you were you were working
- 25:30Speaker 1: at a particular job. You weren't able to do that.
- 25:33Speaker 1: What is your employment situation like now, are you able
- 25:37Speaker 1: to work?
- 25:38Speaker 2: No, I'm definitely not able to do a typical nine
- 25:42Speaker 2: to five. I'm not allowed to look at a computer
- 25:45Speaker 2: screen for more than like an hour and a half.
- 25:48Speaker 2: I just need more rest than the average person staying over.
- 25:52Speaker 2: I get over stimulated very easily. It's the unfortunate reality
- 25:56Speaker 2: that the people with my level of injury I think
- 25:59Speaker 2: only about it's either five percent or three percent, will
- 26:02Speaker 2: be able to go back to working a normal nine
- 26:05Speaker 2: to five job with my level of injury, which was
- 26:08Speaker 2: a very severe traumatic brain injury. So I am not
- 26:12Speaker 2: able to do that. What I am doing now is
- 26:15Speaker 2: I'm writing my book and I'm producing this podcast, and
- 26:19Speaker 2: I'm really blessed to be in a situation. And I
- 26:22Speaker 2: know how blessed I am. That does not lost to
- 26:24Speaker 2: me at all. I give thanks for that every day.
- 26:27Speaker 2: But I'm really blessed to be in a situation where
- 26:32Speaker 2: I am able to do that. And part of how
- 26:34Speaker 2: I'm paying it forward being so blessed to be here
- 26:37Speaker 2: currently is that with all this free time, or not
- 26:41Speaker 2: free time, but with all this ability and flexibility to
- 26:46Speaker 2: not need to have a standard nine to five job,
- 26:50Speaker 2: I could be kind of living a purely self serving
- 26:54Speaker 2: life and doing whatever I wanted and instead I'm using
- 26:58Speaker 2: it to give, and I'm using it to spend every
- 27:02Speaker 2: day devoted to how can I help other people? And
- 27:06Speaker 2: it's kind of self serving. I will say that it
- 27:09Speaker 2: is kind of self serving because it helps.
- 27:11Speaker 1: Me sure sure, well not unlike a lot of things
- 27:16Speaker 1: we all do, right, we all there's a give and
- 27:18Speaker 1: take there. Wow. Okay, So in your pot, tell us
- 27:23Speaker 1: a little bit more about your podcast. How is it structured?
- 27:26Speaker 1: Do you invite people on or is it you or what?
- 27:29Speaker 2: It's both. It's a mix of solo episodes, it's a
- 27:32Speaker 2: mix of having guests. It depends. I'm definitely still figuring
- 27:36Speaker 2: it out. I'm only my second season right now, but
- 27:38Speaker 2: I think I've got a better grasp on what I
- 27:41Speaker 2: want it to be. So I'm moving into a way
- 27:45Speaker 2: of my solo episodes or tending to be more short.
- 27:48Speaker 2: Get those quick episodes in like less than forty five minutes,
- 27:51Speaker 2: an easy thing to put on on your commute to work.
- 27:53Speaker 2: And when I have guests on guests, I don't necessarily
- 27:57Speaker 2: want to cut short what they're saying if they're talking
- 27:59Speaker 2: about something really important, So guest episodes may be a
- 28:02Speaker 2: bit longer, around an hour. What's important to me with
- 28:05Speaker 2: the guest episodes is I had a veteran on recently,
- 28:10Speaker 2: I had a sexual scholar who's an expert in sexual
- 28:14Speaker 2: assault and things like that and sexual trauma on I'm
- 28:17Speaker 2: having a breast cancer survivor, come on. So there's a
- 28:20Speaker 2: lot that I don't know. And that's sort of how
- 28:23Speaker 2: I'm hitting the basis of addressing other types of trauma.
- 28:27Speaker 2: And then in my sole episodes, I talk about what
- 28:29Speaker 2: I know, and I also give general spiritual lessons for
- 28:34Speaker 2: all types of trauma survivors, no matter how big or
- 28:36Speaker 2: smaller trauma is, because all of life is traumatizing.
- 28:40Speaker 1: True that Yeah, all right, Keviriella. How do people learn
- 28:45Speaker 1: more about you and your podcast?
- 28:47Speaker 2: Okay, the way to learn more about me is Gabriella
- 28:50Speaker 2: rebranded everything. So, Gabriella Rebranded is the name of my podcast,
- 28:54Speaker 2: it's the name of my instagram, my TikTok, that's my website,
- 28:58Speaker 2: sign up for my news letter on my website. That's
- 29:01Speaker 2: the best way to get access on when new episodes drop,
- 29:06Speaker 2: and yeah, that is that is it. Gabriella Rebranded. Also,
- 29:10Speaker 2: if you would like to be a guest on the podcast,
- 29:12Speaker 2: you can head over to my website. We have a
- 29:14Speaker 2: fun little form for you to fill out.
- 29:16Speaker 1: Love it, love it. We'll have all that linked up
- 29:19Speaker 1: here at the show notes page at the Trauma Therapist
- 29:21Speaker 1: podcast dot com. Gabriella, you are a breath of fresh air.
- 29:25Speaker 1: I love it. Love you seriously. Love to have you
- 29:28Speaker 1: back at a later date, no pressure if you don't
- 29:31Speaker 1: want to, but would love it, love me. I would
- 29:33Speaker 1: love to love your energy. And I think in this
- 29:38Speaker 1: world we need people like you who are just like
- 29:41Speaker 1: exuding this this not just positivity, but this courage and strength.
- 29:45Speaker 1: So thank you for joining me today.
- 29:47Speaker 2: And I wouldn't have gotten here without the coma, so.
- 29:51Speaker 1: Appreciate it. All right, we'll be in touch.
- 29:53Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
- 29:54Speaker 1: Great, all right,