Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Perils of Passive Piety and the Path of Balance 1.15.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Perils of Passive Piety and the Path of Balance 1.15.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  Unbelievably important paragraph and chapter.
• 0:04
  I started a chapter starting on 4/15 and it's out on 4/18.
• 0:09
  The idea of balance, how does he do it?
• 0:12
  The person wants to do a good thing.
• 0:14
  He wants to be a good Jew, but he needs the balance and how to
• 0:16
  know when to be a good person, how to do it.
• 0:19
  It's so difficult. So he gave us rules and the case
• 0:22
  of making a decision or trying to apply and they are three
• 0:25
  points. Number one, the first concept is
• 0:29
  make sure you're trying to do it for Hashem's sake.
• 0:31
  And that can be applied to anything in life from doing it
• 0:34
  for Hashem's sake. Whether somebody gets to school,
• 0:37
  whether to go there, whether not to go there, whether to go or to
• 0:39
  rent the house or shoot to pray in, whether the guy involved in
• 0:44
  the conversation get involved in a fight, all these different
• 0:46
  things. You're doing it for the sake I
• 0:48
  show no more #2 you're analyzing the two sides.
• 0:52
  You're really going through the process.
• 0:54
  You're doing proper due diligence.
• 0:56
  And thirdly, once you make a decision, you throw it on to
• 1:00
  Hashem, which means I'm making a decision Hashem.
• 1:03
  Now you make it work, which can often times be that even if I
• 1:06
  made it seems like the wrong decision because I didn't have
• 1:08
  the proper information, I had faulty information.
• 1:11
  Let's just say I made a decision.
• 1:14
  I rely on it should succeed and it's going to succeed here shall
• 1:17
  I make sure I succeed and take it in the right way, even if I
• 1:20
  didn't know any better. Now here's the next step.
• 1:25
  Next step is he says in 418 we have to realize can la Dun de
• 1:32
  vre constitute A Marihana Richon?
• 1:35
  Person should not try to go when it comes to just by the original
• 1:40
  opinion. A lot of times you have a go to
• 1:43
  reaction to something and that gives you a mindset, I should do
• 1:46
  this, I shouldn't do that, I should say this, not say that.
• 1:49
  Don't allow that to be your overall driving opinion.
• 1:55
  You rather need to analyze all the phone in and to think things
• 1:58
  through. When you're going to analyze the
• 2:03
  sites and you're going to the data through and do due
• 2:07
  diligence, make sure to take it all the way.
• 2:11
  OK, I'm going to send my kids to this school.
• 2:13
  I'm doing it by Champs Eicon want them to become better
• 2:15
  children. I'm sending to school X now
• 2:18
  what's going to be in six months Sonia what's going to be in a
• 2:21
  year maybe what are this potential of such children from
• 2:24
  that school? What do they become and play it
• 2:26
  out go all the way. Don't just make and and also do
• 2:30
  not just take your initial reactionary opinion.
• 2:34
  You hear about a fight. I'm not going to get involved at
• 2:36
  all. That's craziness over there.
• 2:38
  Don't do that think it through. Maybe you can help or maybe you
• 2:41
  can't help go through the process.
• 2:43
  Don't go by the original opinion.
• 2:46
  It's man think about where things are going to go.
• 2:49
  Kilipa mean many times how much say that's more year.
• 2:53
  I told the action you're going to get involved in seems like a
• 2:56
  good idea. However, the outcomes of these
• 2:59
  actions will be to dot dot because the developments that
• 3:05
  come from such an action are not good.
• 3:08
  You're going to need to stop it to drop it.
• 3:10
  I should get involved in that organization.
• 3:11
  It seems like it's very inspiring and should get
• 3:13
  involved. You know what, the last four
• 3:16
  people who got involved, they all dropped out.
• 3:18
  They all had challenges, and they ended in the fight.
• 3:21
  It's not a good idea. All right, Veloya Celo Toye
• 3:24
  Hotel Velojaci. And it ends up being that it
• 3:29
  could very well be the person's going to end up putting himself
• 3:31
  into more difficulty by making that decision and he won't
• 3:34
  become a great person instead of do the opposite.
• 3:36
  He named Masek Daliaben Arikam, an incredible example.
• 3:40
  The Daliaben Arikam made certain Susan Gallu and then who's the
• 3:46
  person the last person before the Galut personnel.
• 3:49
  She remained after the destruction of Betami Dash.
• 3:52
  We have a tiny called because of his piousness, piety.
• 4:03
  He didn't want to punish a certain person or he didn't want
• 4:07
  to heal a person. He told the certain individual,
• 4:15
  I'm not listening. Don't tell me what you're saying
• 4:17
  about so and so. I don't want to hear.
• 4:18
  So you didn't want to judge a certain person and that led to
• 4:22
  his own demise and it led to the complete wipeout of any remnant
• 4:27
  of the people from before the Bethany.
• 4:30
  Gosh, what it's an example of is this.
• 4:32
  Yes, so many people out there that you and I know they they
• 4:35
  said they came, they're very pious.
• 4:38
  They don't want to hear anything bad until you go to a rabbi.
• 4:40
  Classic example. You go to Rabbi so you know so
• 4:42
  and so I know he's in the shul. I know he's close to you.
• 4:46
  He's not really the best husband or I hear there's really
• 4:49
  cheating people in business and it's not good that business.
• 4:52
  Robin thinks his two fingers and he goes Kaka puts his fingers
• 4:55
  into his ears. I don't hear any better.
• 4:57
  I don't hear right that small move or bad move, bad move.
• 5:02
  Or you have someone who hears that your daughter's going out
• 5:06
  and they come to this hit us. I know your daughter's going out
• 5:09
  with that boy, but I was around. I, I, so he get that boy.
• 5:13
  He's very not a good kid. And now you say I don't listen
• 5:16
  to Ashrada. Never listen to Ashrada.
• 5:18
  That's not Sadiq. That's a silly person.
• 5:20
  It's a fool. You're being pious, but you're
• 5:22
  allowing destruction. And especially true when it
• 5:25
  comes to the masses. It's one thing we all family,
• 5:27
  but if you're going to be a Hassid and a pious person for
• 5:29
  the masses and you're going to accept something that's bad,
• 5:33
  you'd be Tamim. You're going to be simple minded
• 5:36
  and not allow the process to go through and not accept you don't
• 5:39
  accept Lacerna at all, but here it and utilize it for what you
• 5:42
  know you what do you do you take it and you say I don't believe
• 5:45
  it, but let me look through. Let me let me ask other people.
• 5:48
  Let me see if this this idea carries weight holds water.
• 5:51
  If it does and I need to do something about this congregate.
• 5:55
  Do I need to do something with my, you know, with whom my
• 5:58
  daughter's dating? You allow yourself to people
• 6:01
  with very pious, but be very real at the same time.
• 6:04
  There's a major, major challenge with this paragraph, which means
• 6:09
  there are many people who are Sadikim in quotation marks, but
• 6:13
  they allow themselves to do very wrong things because they're not
• 6:16
  willing to or they're not willing to be open to the
• 6:19
  possibility of someone who's supposed to listen to it.
• 6:21
  No, you're supposed to entertain the words that I told to you if
• 6:25
  you can make a difference and say to yourself that information
• 6:30
  is true. Just if I'm not going to accept
• 6:31
  it. But if it's true, what should I
• 6:34
  do? Well, I should be more careful
• 6:35
  with my daughter for sure. Someone tells me that her friend
• 6:39
  is a big problem. What am I going to do?
• 6:41
  Ignore it? And then I just hang out with
• 6:43
  her friend when her friend's a problem?
• 6:44
  No. Or someone tells me her friend's
• 6:46
  home is really big, I'm going to let my daughter go over to the
• 6:49
  house and just hang out there. Of course, the stumbling left,
• 6:53
  behind, the right, right. You have to process it through
• 6:56
  and try to dance and and try to walk a very tightrope.
• 7:00
  And that is at the one hand, I don't I don't really believe, I
• 7:04
  don't accept what they're telling me, but I do take care
• 7:09
  and I do have vigilance regarding the information.
• 7:12
  I'm tolls my Garam and that example of Ghettiah what it
• 7:16
  cause Garam. He was the last person to die by
• 7:23
  the destruction and he wiped out when he passed away.
• 7:26
  It was the end of the remnants of pre destruction and he was
• 7:35
  blamed by being too pious. He was blamed for allowing
• 7:40
  destruction to the wipeout to happen.
• 7:42
  It was not a Jew. It was not a Jew exactly, but
• 7:46
  only because he wasn't willing to accept the report.
• 7:48
  He allowed it to happen. It's called we blame people for
• 7:57
  dying in the hands of Gadar. He didn't kill a soul but his
• 8:00
  over piousness allowed to have another example was the most
• 8:04
  classic example. The Torah probably is come
• 8:10
  Sebastian out exactly the story. We'll see what's right comes
• 8:15
  about come so we know the story. It was a fight and the rappers
• 8:18
  are by the fight, and it was the person who was embarrassed
• 8:21
  because he was embarrassed. I'm gonna get the Jews back.
• 8:23
  I'm gonna prove to the king or to the season that the Jews
• 8:28
  people don't accept the Qurban from Magoy, which wasn't true.
• 8:31
  They do. So he sent the Qurban.
• 8:33
  Yeah, he said he told the send message to the king.
• 8:35
  At this point, the king said not true.
• 8:37
  They accept my Qurban. He says, test me.
• 8:40
  See if the Jews accept the Qurban.
• 8:41
  He wants to make the Jews look better.
• 8:42
  The king sends the Qurban. Meanwhile, this individual makes
• 8:46
  a blemish in a very specific spot.
• 8:49
  He's a blemish that the Jews consider a blemish, but the
• 8:52
  gahim don't. And now the animal comes to the
• 8:56
  rabbi, comes to the bethemidash with that blemish.
• 8:59
  And now the Jews have a question.
• 9:00
  Do we utilize the Qurbana of the king, the non Jew, with this
• 9:04
  blemish or not? Some say do, some say don't.
• 9:07
  One says how could you do that? You know, you can't, you can't,
• 9:11
  you can't. How can you accept the Qurbana
• 9:13
  with a blemish? Can't do it.
• 9:14
  Oh, it's just a bit of dangerous.
• 9:16
  That's to make a difference. You can't accept the Quran with
• 9:18
  a blemish. OK, you know what?
• 9:19
  Let's kill the messenger. So nobody knows that that that
• 9:24
  we didn't accept the Qurban. OK, that's baby.
• 9:27
  You can't kill a person who made a blemish or delivered a
• 9:29
  blemish. You can make it seem like we
• 9:31
  kill people involved in blemishes.
• 9:33
  What did they do? They left the messenger alive.
• 9:35
  They didn't accept the Qurban. And then the king found out that
• 9:39
  they didn't accept the Qurban. He didn't consider the blemish a
• 9:42
  real blemish because such a blemish now Isa Qurim wasn't a
• 9:45
  blemish. And the king therefore said,
• 9:47
  hey, the Jews don't accept my Quran.
• 9:48
  They got started attacking us and killing the Jews.
• 9:51
  And that led to the Quran, Quran.
• 9:53
  And the command said, what was the cause of the Quran?
• 9:57
  The humility of that rabbi, the π of Peavey, of that rabbi who
• 10:02
  says to himself, I don't want to accept the Quran.
• 10:06
  You're being extra Sadiq like and the and the outcome is
• 10:09
  causing destruction. How you apply this balance in a
• 10:12
  modern day to our own life? Every person needs a very good,
• 10:16
  you know, perfect classes to not to do this.
• 10:19
  But this is a major, major challenge.
• 10:22
  There's so many people out there who outside the Kim, they're so
• 10:25
  spoken and never yell and never get upset.
• 10:28
  They're Uber righteous and they're also Uber destructive in
• 10:31
  my humble opinion, because what do they do whenever there's a
• 10:34
  fight? They side on the side of the
• 10:37
  victim or the the assumed victim.
• 10:42
  They don't like the other guy. The other guy is harsh.
• 10:44
  He's too strong, too loud. So they signed the side of the
• 10:48
  victim and they end up creating, giving, giving strength to the
• 10:52
  victim. And they create often times, OK,
• 10:55
  if it's a real victim, of course, but it's a fake victim
• 10:57
  and they give more power to it and they create problems.
• 11:00
  How many divorce cases have had this fake sighting on the wrong
• 11:04
  side? They've been many, many
• 11:05
  scenarios have been how many fights in families La Leno,
• 11:09
  right? Or they've been the same
• 11:11
  concept. Or someone sided with one
• 11:12
  sibling and they gave him all the ammo he needed to bring more
• 11:16
  power to the fight. And he said, this guy thinks
• 11:19
  he's doing the mitzvah. All he's doing is creating more
• 11:21
  problems. How many, You know, like I said,
• 11:24
  how many girls going out with guys?
• 11:25
  Well, you knew that the guy is a bad guy, but you felt like, you
• 11:28
  know, I don't want to talk about the guy.
• 11:29
  It's bad, all right? There's been a million and a
• 11:31
  half such scenarios. A person who's real looks at the
• 11:36
  situation in a very different way.
• 11:37
  Balance. What would God want?
• 11:40
  Or God would want a good outcome going on, a good process.
• 11:43
  He wouldn't want you to ignore the facts and let the wrong
• 11:47
  people come out on top. This is a reality they want us
• 11:50
  to realize. And you can be the most pious of
• 11:53
  people and at the same time you once in a while say the truth to
• 11:58
  protect those who need to be protected.
• 12:02
  Understanding His balance is a world unto itself.
• 12:06
  Weighing this balance is that world and a person has to
• 12:10
  actually think things to process it properly to come out with the
• 12:13
  right outcome. OK, why I'm with this?