Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Stop Seeking Validation: Why You Don't Need To Prove Yourself to Anyone

Transcript

Stop Seeking Validation: Why You Don't Need To Prove Yourself to Anyone · Natty Unfiltered

• 0:02
  Welcome to Nadian Filtered, the podcast for moms who love their kids
• 0:06
  but know they were meant for more. I'm Natty, a mom of three real
• 0:10
  estate agent and online entrepreneur. And this is where we
• 0:14
  talk confidence, mindset, money, and building a life that actually feels
• 0:19
  like yours. And today I want to talk about something
• 0:22
  that I think a lot of us don't even realize is driving
• 0:26
  our actions. This needs to prove ourselves to
• 0:30
  other people. The quiet pressure to prove yourself.
• 0:34
  Yeah, this is something that I've had
• 0:38
  to struggle and come to realization that I was
• 0:42
  approaching it the wrong way. I want you to think about this for a second.
• 0:47
  Have you ever had that thought in the back of your mind? Like, I just
• 0:52
  want to show them. Show them you're successful.
• 0:55
  Show them you made the right choices. Show them you're
• 0:59
  doing well. And it's not always loud.
• 1:02
  It's subtle, but it's there.
• 1:07
  And I've had that too,
• 1:10
  where I thought if I could just
• 1:14
  reach a certain level, make a certain amount,
• 1:17
  build something big enough, then people would
• 1:21
  see me differently, then they respect me,
• 1:26
  then they'll think I'm worthy. They would
• 1:31
  maybe invite me to the circle. They would look at me differently.
• 1:35
  And when I really sat with that, I realized
• 1:40
  how exhausting that is. And actually,
• 1:43
  one of my friends had to point that out to me because when
• 1:47
  I said that out loud, she. She caught on and she
• 1:52
  kind of straightened my thought process.
• 1:55
  Because you're constantly chasing someone else's approval,
• 2:01
  and that's not really the way
• 2:05
  to go about it. The only approval you should be seeking is yours.
• 2:09
  Why you have to seek the external validation and
• 2:13
  why this will never be enough if you do. So here's
• 2:18
  the part that really changed things for me. Even if those people
• 2:22
  do notice, even if they do say something, even if
• 2:27
  they do finally acknowledge you, that feeling,
• 2:32
  you know, it doesn't last because it was never about
• 2:36
  them. It's. The external validation
• 2:39
  is temporary. It fades, it shifts.
• 2:44
  It depends on other people. If it's not going to be one
• 2:48
  person, it's going to be another person. If it's not going to be the second
• 2:51
  person, it's going to be a third person. So you hit one level,
• 2:56
  and then it's like, okay, now what?
• 2:59
  Now you need more validation, more proof, more recognition.
• 3:05
  And it becomes this cycle that never actually fills
• 3:08
  you up because you're looking for something outside of you that
• 3:13
  has to come from within you. It's all about
• 3:17
  you. It's not about them. The moment everything shifted
• 3:21
  for me, I remember telling a friend once that
• 3:26
  I wanted to be so financially successful so I could show certain
• 3:30
  people, like, look, I did it.
• 3:34
  I'm worthy, I can be accepted.
• 3:38
  And my friend said something to me that
• 3:42
  really stuck. She said, why are you doing it for them?
• 3:46
  The only person you should be proving anything is to yourself.
• 3:51
  And you know what? That really hit me.
• 3:55
  Yeah, sometimes you need to hear it from somebody else because
• 3:59
  you're always in this thought process. You're this thoughts are
• 4:03
  circling in your head and you're thinking, what? Well, why is this person treats
• 4:09
  me this certain way? Why is this person is a certain way when
• 4:13
  I'm around them? Why? Why, why?
• 4:17
  And you think, well, if I do abc,
• 4:21
  then this person is. I'm going to be worthy
• 4:25
  of this person as people accepting me. And you know what?
• 4:29
  My friend was right. If someone doesn't see
• 4:33
  your worth now, why would you want their validation later?
• 4:37
  Like I thought about to myself, if I'm being treated
• 4:41
  a certain way now, when I
• 4:44
  am my own success story, why would I want to be around that people,
• 4:49
  that person or these people? I want to have the people
• 4:53
  who were with me along on my journey,
• 4:57
  who were rooting for me, who were cheering for me, who were,
• 5:02
  you know, giving me the advice. Why would I want the
• 5:06
  fakeness afterwards? And that was a turning
• 5:09
  point for me because it made me realize I needed to shift who
• 5:13
  I was doing this for. And I was doing it for myself
• 5:17
  and for my family. Those are the people that I should
• 5:22
  be concentrating on. I should be proving myself. I should be proving
• 5:26
  to myself that I can do it. That doesn't matter what
• 5:30
  stands my way. I can do it. I can be successful.
• 5:34
  I. I'm not going to be able to please everybody.
• 5:37
  At the end of the day, I need to please myself because I have to
• 5:40
  live with, with myself and do what makes me happy.
• 5:44
  You don't need permission to be worthy. I think a lot
• 5:48
  of us, without even realizing it, are waiting for this permission.
• 5:52
  Permission to go after something. Permission to feel confident.
• 5:56
  Permission to believe we're capable. I mean, screw that.
• 5:59
  Stop waiting for permission. Just do it. Do it
• 6:04
  for yourself. And sometimes that permission looks like validation
• 6:08
  from other people. But here's the truth.
• 6:11
  You don't need anyone to approve your dreams. You don't need
• 6:15
  anyone to agree with your path. You don't need anyone to validate your worth.
• 6:20
  You already have it. And the moment you stop looking
• 6:24
  outside for that, you, you start moving differently.
• 6:28
  Things are starting to align in your life because you
• 6:33
  are concentrating on the right thing. You are not concentrating
• 6:37
  on other people and how you need their validation,
• 6:41
  their permission. Stop giving your power away.
• 6:45
  When you're constantly trying to prove yourself to others,
• 6:48
  you're giving them power over how you feel.
• 6:52
  Their opinion matters more than your own.
• 6:56
  Their reaction determines your confidence.
• 7:00
  And that's hard place to be. Because now your
• 7:04
  happiness, your sense of worth is tied to people who
• 7:08
  may never give you what you're looking for. But when you bring
• 7:12
  that back to yourself, when you decide,
• 7:15
  I'm proud of myself, I'm worthy,
• 7:18
  I know what I'm building, I trust where I'm going.
• 7:23
  That's when things start to feel different. You feel more
• 7:27
  at peace, you feel more grounded,
• 7:30
  you have more control.
• 7:34
  You are in control. So do it for you.
• 7:38
  And when you do it for you, when you start doing it for
• 7:42
  yourself, then everything start to change. You will see how
• 7:46
  the universe just gives you. You will see how you're going to be approach
• 7:51
  your business or how you want to start things or what you trying to
• 7:55
  build. There's something really powerful that happens when you
• 7:59
  shift your focus. From what?
• 8:02
  From like thinking, oh my gosh, what will they think?
• 8:06
  To what do I want?
• 8:08
  What do I want? From how
• 8:13
  do I prove this? To how do I build something I'm
• 8:17
  proud of, something that I feel passionate about, something that
• 8:21
  I look forward to get up in the morning and doing. It doesn't matter
• 8:25
  how long it takes me to do it, I love it, I want to do
• 8:29
  more of it. I want to touch other people with what I'm doing.
• 8:33
  And then you see how the pressure just lifts. You're not
• 8:37
  performing anymore. You're not chasing approval.
• 8:41
  You are creating because it matters to you.
• 8:46
  And ironically, that's when people start to notice anyway.
• 8:50
  But by then, you don't even need this in
• 8:54
  the same way because you're doing it for yourself.
• 8:58
  And you don't care what other people say or
• 9:02
  think or how they in what light they're looking.
• 9:06
  They're seeing you now. Bright people will see you without
• 9:09
  you proving anything. And here's the thing,
• 9:13
  you don't have to convince the right people of your worth.
• 9:16
  You don't have to prove yourself to people who are aligned with you.
• 9:21
  They'll see it, they'll feel it, and they will
• 9:25
  support you. So instead of trying to win over everyone,
• 9:29
  focus on becoming the version of you that attracts
• 9:33
  the right people. The right version of you. Because those are
• 9:37
  the people who actually matter. You're ready enough
• 9:41
  right now. I think this is the part I really want you
• 9:45
  to take with you. You don't need to hit a certain number, reach a
• 9:49
  certain level, or prove anything to anyone to be worthy.
• 9:53
  People who are meant to be in your life, they're meant to be in your
• 9:57
  life. And the people who are meant to come into your life, even later,
• 10:01
  they'll come to your life. The right people right
• 10:06
  now, as you are. You're enough. And you're
• 10:11
  worthy, and you're capable of so much more. You just
• 10:15
  have to give yourself grace and you have to do it for yourself.
• 10:19
  And everything you're building from here should come
• 10:23
  from that place. Not from needing to prove something,
• 10:26
  but from knowing who you really are.
• 10:31
  So if you've been carrying that pressure, that need to prove yourself,
• 10:35
  I want you to start letting that go. You don't need to
• 10:39
  perform for anyone. You don't need to earn your worth.
• 10:43
  You just need to show up for yourself day after day.
• 10:48
  Love yourself, and do it for yourself.
• 10:52
  If this episode hit home for you, share it with someone who
• 10:55
  needs that reminder. And don't forget to follow and subscribe
• 10:59
  to Nadi Unfiltered because we're building confidence,
• 11:03
  clarity, and a life that actually feels like yours.
• 11:07
  Until next time.