Latest / The KIIS Breakfast Wrap with Chris, Amy & Jack / 💪 Why are so many young men drawn to ‘looksmaxxing’ culture?

Transcript

💪 Why are so many young men drawn to ‘looksmaxxing’ culture? · The KIIS Breakfast Wrap with Chris, Amy & Jack

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Men, men, men.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: So we all know parenting is a wild, wild world.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: And I just feel like with the the Internet and
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: how much access we have to everything, parents need more
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: and more help than ever obviously on how to raise
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: boys in this day and age. You know, they're falling
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: into this looks maxing culture. You know, young boys being
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: encouraged to use dangerous methods, like even they're encouraging them
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: to take drugs, use extreme do extreme diets, diets, bone
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: smashing like that. I don't even know that that psycho
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: guy's name, what is it, Clovicula? And then you've got
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: obviously the MANI sphere with Andrew, and obviously I've got
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: two boys. They are still quite young, six and eight.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: But it makes me nervous as a parent about what
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: they are potentially going to be starting to become subject to,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: you know, when they get phones and all that kind
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: of stuff.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: They asked you about anything in this realm.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: No, they're still they're still so young and innocent, and
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: they're playing outside and playing knock and run and riding
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: their bikes and stuff. I try to keep them off
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: screens as much as possible, Like there's no iPads in
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: my house.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know, though, you can't avoid it forever, and
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: the other kids at school might start talking about exactly right.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're about to speak to doctor Justin Coulson
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: on how to raise boys in today's age, and maybe
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: he can just help us.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Well, he joins us.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Now he's got a new book out boys, so he
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: knows all about it.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Hey mate, good morning, Hey, lost you with your guys? Hey,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: this looks maxing thing?
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: How and why are so many young boys being drawn
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: into this?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: How has this happened?
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: Kid Like?
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: Traditionally, the whole appearance thing has always been a girl's issue, right,
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: who's most likely to have annarexia, blimaa, eating disorders?
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Any of that sort of stuff.
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: It's almost what is going to be in the direction
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: of the bemail and all of a sudden, with the
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: with the out ageous algorithm driven short form video content
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: that the world serves up endlessly to our kids. Now
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: we've seen guys like Androw, Jennic and Clovicular and a
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: whole host of others starting to say no, this matters
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: for guys as well. And when you get the manisphere,
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: or at least the extremes of the manisphere saying you
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: are not a man unless you have the right look,
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: unless you've got the hot girl. This means that this
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: becomes currency for our boys and so many, so many
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: of them are getting swept up in the insecurity of
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: not looking like they're enough, so they're stuff to take
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: extreme measures, peptides, theoids, phone smashing, that sort of thing.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: What do you think parents should do if they're worried
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: like their son has fallen into the manisphere or looksmax
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: in community? Is there anything? Is there anything they can
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: do to help get them out?
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: So the first thing I'll say, Amy, is the great
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: news is most boys look at this stuff and say
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: that's stupid.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Yes, most of them do. That doesn't mean that they
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: don't still desire it.
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: Like guys still want to have big pecks, big shoulders,
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: big arm, want to.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: Have the chiseled face. And what do you do?
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: So this is the really hard part, right because when
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: parents step in and say I'm really worried about you,
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: what's the typical boy say?
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: I don't need you? Yeah, go away.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: And so the real the best thing that we can
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: do is make sure that our boys are surrounded by
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: helping men and healthy men.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: You know what's really fascinating here.
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: When I wrote this book, Boys, I asked a whole
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: bunch of boys, Like, I'm talking hundreds.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Of boys, who's.
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: Like the most important role model in your life? Which
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: men or which men do you look up to? And
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: I was expecting a few of them to be talking
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: about the online extreme guys. Almost every almost every single
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: one of them said, my dad.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Interesting. Well, I got a question on that. It might
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: be a delicate one.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: What about you know, if you're a single mum or whatever,
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: how important is a male influence in a young boy's life?
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  Speaker 1: And where do you find that person? Yeah, if it's
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: not dud.
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  Speaker 5: That's the hard one, Brooklyn, Because everyone gets here. We
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: need to have good male role models. That makes sense,
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: but where to find them is hard, especially when you're
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: doing a solo And this is the thing that parents
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: are constantly grappling with.
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  Speaker 4: The first thing I've got to say is what a
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: healthy male role model is?
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  Speaker 5: Right, So boys will always say I love my dad
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: because he teaches me stuff and he listens to me.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: My definition, Like, we talk so much about toxic masculinity.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Every time you talk about it.
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  Speaker 5: What you do is you make boys feel crappy about themselves,
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: and you make girls hate boys.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: It's not helping.
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  Speaker 5: It's not helping. So healthy men, I want to talk
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: about healthy masculinity. Healthy men help the people around them
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: feel safer and stronger, which means that if you're a parent,
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: regardless of whether you've got both parents, whether you gay parents,
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: or whether you're a single parent, your boys need more
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: than just dad.
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  Speaker 4: And so where do you find them?
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  Speaker 5: Thanks to thanks to Michael Jackson and a whole lot
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  Speaker 5: of organizations, we can't trust a lot of men anymore.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: Like everyone's like, no men should be involved in the
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: lives of boys.
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  Speaker 4: So so bad for us. It's just awful.
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: What we need is uncles and to teachers and sports
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  Speaker 5: coaches to just show an interest.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: And I'm not talking about any weird stuff here.
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: One of my best mates died at fifty throne heart attack.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: He left behind a son and two daughters, and the
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: son played footy. A bunch of the dads, the other
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: boys and the team started to go around and pick
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: up this young man for footy training and also for
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: camps and all that sort of stuff because he just
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: needed good man. And so you've got to be willing
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: to say, hey, my son needs a role model. My
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: son needs someone and get him involved in stuff. That's
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: the short answer. Get him involved in stuff, because if
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: he's busy with good men around him, he'll usually do
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: way better.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: Point of failure. When boys lose a good man in
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: their lives, that's when they start to go downhill.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: What's your man, Ryan like with your boys? Amy?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think especially my eight year old son, he
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: just idolizes my husband Ryan. And to your point, Ryan,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: he you know, he works a full time job, but
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: on the weekends he very much leaves into playful behavior.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: So he's always outside kicking the ball and he joins
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: them with you know, I mean he's a little bit immature.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I call him my fourth child.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: He's quite boylike.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: But he would take them for bike rides and my
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: kids love it so.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And if he wasn't around, your dad would then be
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: the male be.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: My dad would step in. But my dad's a bit
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: old school. He's quite strict. There's no there's no playing.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: The big bee.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, got cha, Yeah, a bit more of a disciplinary Hey,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Dr Colson, is it overblown?
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Like you know, we're all going on about the looks,
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: maxing and menosphere. Most little boys not really affected by
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: this stuff at all.
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So with little boys, I'd say you're usually going
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: to be pretty safe. It's once they start to hit
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: that testosterone boost.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: So thirteen twelve.
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: Thirteen boys get like twenty to thirty times the testosterone.
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  Speaker 4: They start taking risks.
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  Speaker 5: They're much more impulsive, and that's where the interest from
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: all their friends and try to have status, that's where
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: all that kicks in.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Do you think the internet has also has has just
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: played a huge part in this. Like I always say
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: to my kids, I wish that I could have raised
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: you in the eighties when I was born, Like I
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: just no incident your childhood and your teens. It was
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: also innocent, and I still got up to mischief, but
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: nothing like this. I just feel like, now that you
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: have access to absolutely every corner of the Internet, I
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: just feel like it can't be good for impressionable young boys.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Ay, two things.
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: First of all, I have exactly the same conversation with
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: my kids all the time.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I've got six kids, and.
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: I'm constantly saying, I wish that you guys could have
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: grown up when I did, And it's like it was
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: just so much safer and better then.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: It hasn't every parent said that, like when TV came
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: a lot. True, you make a good point, Brooklyn, but yeah,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: the internet is the problem, right, I mean maybe you're
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: really good with your kids and screens. Well, have you
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: got a rule there, Dr Coulson, and you're like, no,
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: kids should have a screen until a certain age.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 5: So basically the day that you give your child a
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: screen is the day at the universe changes and it
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: goes from to the screen. So I always say kids
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: don't need smart phones, they need smart parents, and smart
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: parents give their kids dumb funds.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, we have no access to the internet, but
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: you can contact.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Hey, look, you can read more about it, especially if
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: you have boys. Go and get doctor Doctor Justin Colson's
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: book Boys. It is out June sixteen, available for pre
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: order right now, and of course you can listen to
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the Happy Families podcast on our iheartapp, Doctor Justin Colson.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Thanks you, mate, appreciate a really important discussion with you guys.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Doctor