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Black Girls Are Easy: Episode 3 - How To Date Multiple People & Win · Black Girls Are Easy Podcast

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G. L. Lambert, Hello. Being single doesn't always translate into being
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unwanted. We live in an era where it seems every girl on social media
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is waiting up for some mythical hymn, and upgrading a Facebook status from single
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is greeted with dozens of likes and congratulations, as if that's a milestone.
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In realer life, it's the one question everyone from your grandmother to your obgyn
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make small talk about, are you dating anyone? Your relationship status does not
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define you, but everywhere you turn it seems to be the thing on which
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you're constantly judged. Settle Dick uses this relationship craze to prey on those women
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who fear being alone forever. Rival females use it to rattle your e go
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as if you're less desirable than they are because they keep a man. Compliments
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about being too pretty to be alone, warnings about being too picky to ever
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find a man, or backhanded comments pointing to how you selfishly ignore the nice
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guys who are right under your nose. These are the verbal jabs people use
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to break down those girls who turn down date offers with no thanks. I'm
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doing me right now. I've found that it's not the men that chip away
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the most at women's relationship insecurities, but other females. The moment a braggadocious
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girl finally gets a man, she feels the need to look down on women
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who are still single two weeks into a relationship that she had to beg for.
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Were the guy she most likely wasn't into at first, and a basic
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bitch is suddenly a relationship expert who knows all about good men trapping. This
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type of girl can't wait to tell you what you're saying wrong, point out
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the flaws in your whole wardrobe, and then try to push you on her
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boyfriend's layme ass cousin, as if you aren't capable of finding a mediocre dick
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on your own. For some women, it's not enough to find a man
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for themselves. They have to further prove their greatness by finding one for every
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girl in the crew. It's amazing how men and women alike can't comprehend that
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there are females who are genuinely happy in life and don't need a man texting,
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calling, and taking her out to feel special. Single isn't a dirty
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word, but people in the twenty first century are more embarrassed by being single
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than being poor. I've seen people laugh and joke about being unemployed or working
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a low paying job, because it's not shameful. If the people you know
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are struggling financially as well, it's normal. However, when it comes to
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relationship status, I've seen women give excuses to complete strangers to explain why they
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don't have a boyfriend or a husband. You can explain being a college graduate
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waiting tables at outback on the economy, but in their insecure minds, they
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can't explain being a decent looking female who doesn't have a man. Not everyone
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who is in a relationship feels complete, and not everyone who's single feels lonely.
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Nevertheless, like my alcoholic eighth grade English teacher used to slur, no
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man island, meaning that we all need human interaction or will go crazy.
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There will come a time where you will have to find someone who can fulfill
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that need for real love and romance. But in the meantime, there are
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certain itches that need to be scratched as well. How do you fulfill your
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needs physically or emotionally when you aren't in a position to give your all to
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a man? A woman in college is focused on securing her degree, and
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while she likes to unwind on the weekend, she doesn't have the energy to
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deal with the boys on campus who want to be up under her. Twenty
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four to seven, a career woman just starting out wants to make an impression,
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so she throws herself into her job, no time to entertain the various
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guys who want to talk her ear off after work or hog her weekends.
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Let's not forget about the single mom who has to juggle motherhood with paying the
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bills. Guys want to pay for babysitters and take her out, but maybe
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she's not ready to split her focus on a third entity. Then we have
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the party girls who just want to turn up six days out of the week
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without having to answer to a jealous man. Finally, there are those women
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who have been heartbroken or have some major personal issue use that they need to
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figure out before they jump back in that pool. These damaged girls always meet
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prospects, but they aren't in the right mindset to give a man the type
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of love he wants, so they smartly decline those encounters. Love will find
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everyone eventually, but it takes a shrewd and seasoned woman to realize there is
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no shot clock when it comes to romance. Don't get me wrong, Making
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a man get in where he fits in can be done, and nearly every
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woman will have to juggle love, life and career at some point in her
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life. Nevertheless, you shouldn't feel that it's your duty to split your focus
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to accommodate a man for the sake of saying you have a man. Skeptics
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will say that any girl who claims not to want a relationship is just scared
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to get played, but it's not always about hurt. Some females have the
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disciple plan to put self improvement before romance. I've spoken to many women who
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realized that they weren't in a position to be a girlfriend first and live their
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own lives second. Is that selfish of them? Yes, and women who
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practiced this behavior should path themselves in the back, because for far too long
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females have been made to think being selfish is a sin. This is sparta,
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and you will always come first. Countless men past and present have kept
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women at a distance while they figured their shit out, earn their fortune,
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or pursued their higher education. These men weren't scolded or shamed because they had
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no time for traditional love. Society labeled that behavior as a man finding himself
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or making his way in life. When the fuck is a woman supposed to
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find herself? When is a woman supposed to make her way in life?
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From high school onward, it has been get a boyfriend, keep a boyfriend,
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and wait for the ring. Once again, gender roles have become a
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noose which women are still being strangled with in the twenty first century. Your
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life should never revolve around getting a boyfriend or finding a husband. Their primary
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goal is becoming a great individual that pulls other great individuals into their atmosphere.
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Even still, the need for love and companionship can't be ignored. Regardless of
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your reason for taking a break from relationships, a part of you will always
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long for male interaction on more than that platonic level. Girls have told me
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bluntly that sometimes they need dick and the vibrator just isn't enough. Others have
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said that they're fine not having sex, but it would be nice to have
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someone to cuddle with that doesn't have a vagina. Girls want the reward without
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the risk, and if dudes can milk the cow for free, chicks can
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ride the bull without having to buy the beef. In ratchet terms, bitches
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want to have their cake and eat it too, and I think they have
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that right. This chapter will get into the ins and outs of dating when
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you're not looking for a serious relationship, just an outlet. While the average
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person may laugh and say that women have a nasty habit of catching feelings when
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it's supposed to be emotionless, I do believe it can be achieved. It's
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not about cutting off your emotions or seeing men only as meat. It's about
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being disciplined enough to get what you want out of the situation and then let
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go once that itch has been scratched. The girl who just wants sex,
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you want to fuck, not make love, not have sex, but fuck
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like an animal when the feeling rushes over you. The problem is that you
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don't want to be seen as a slut, a hole, catch a disease,
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or get your business aired out by the guy you're smashing on the week
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ends. Welcome to the world of man, ladies. It may seem that
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guys don't really care about whom they stick their dixon, but they're more selective
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than you think, sometimes too selective. There are men who court jump off
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pussy as actively as they court girl friends, which is the top reason girls
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get confused as to what a man wants, as if he should be an
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asshole instead of a gentleman. If he only wants sex from you. Those
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slutty men whom you are disgusted by are merely the sloppy ones you know about
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because they do put their sexual business in the street. However, there are
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numerous men who aren't looking for anything serious and aren't sloppy. Unlike boastful little
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boys, these men move in silence, are polite, respectful, and keep
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the entire relationship private. The messy aspect of males, even the gentlemen who
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initiate this type of pact, is that they often lead women on instead of
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being forthcoming about what they want, due to the fear that girls won't willingly
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agree to be pussy. As a result, guys slide into a sex only
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relationship with girls who assume it's going somewhere. Real women can secure a sexual
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relationship easier and more honestly than men can, but only if they throw caution,
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shyness, and fear of rejection to the wind. A girl I email
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with told me that she just wants a delivery penis. No watching movies in
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her crib, no cooking dinner, just a guide to come over and fuck
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her after scandal goes off. The problem was that she didn't know how to
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initiate this kind of relationship. I can't just walk up to a cute guy
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and say let's fuck. He think I was crazy. Stop making things so
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dramatic, ladies. This isn't about walking up to a stranger and telling him
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that his height and smile turn you on and you want to go fuck in
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the cot check room. No one outside of a Taiwanese whorehouse is that forward.
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When it comes to sex. Realistically, you don't want to have sex
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with a stranger you met because there is no trust. One night stands are
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a different kind of monster, random, spontaneous, and understood as a one
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and done deal. If your goal is to have a penis on call,
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it does take a bit of effort. Given that he's going to be a
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big part of your life, you should interview that man you want to have
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sex with the same way you would interview a guy that wants to be your
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boyfriend. You're literally putting your life in reputation in a guy's hands, you
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should know basic things about his personality, even if it is just sex.
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If he's the type that sees you as more than pussy and wants you to
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be his girl, he's not going to settle for I'm doing me right now
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and be happy renovating your walls. Eventually, he's going to get in his
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feelings and act out like a stereotypical female would know that man, even if
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all you want is his penis. There have been guys who've posted pictures on
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Twitter as payback for not getting what they want, exposed secret relationships on Facebook
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long after the f WB situation ended, and I personally know a dude who
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lied about having a condom on and got a girl pregnant because she only saw
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him as dick. Men are just as psycho as women are if they're rejected
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emotionally. Don't believe that all men fit into the I'm cool with just sex
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box interview his ass. He looks good, and that's the kind of guy
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whose face you want to ride like a Kawasaki. There's nothing wrong with that,
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but remember that good looking guys aren't rare. You may have to pass
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up light eyes at the bar because he shows signs of being overly romantic,
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but rest assured that you will meet someone just as attractive the next time you're
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out dick scouting, and he may be a better candidate for lunchtime quickies where
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you don't have to cuddle after. The key is to be selective, aggressive,
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and most importantly, have the ability to communicate the arrangement that you want
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how to initiate. There isn't a specific place you should go to meet guys
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who will be into fuck friends situations. The same way you meet men normally
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is the same way you should go about meeting these kinds of boy toys.
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If you don't know where to meet them, then clearly you didn't read this
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book comprehensively. Go and start over from chapter one, and don't stop until
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you understand how easy it is to pull a man into your world. Once
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you do meet a guy that you are attracted to, don't be negative or
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self defeating. Women tend to beat themselves up as if they don't look good
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enough to get the good looking guys. Others make the mistake of avoiding men
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completely because they don't trust themselves not to fall in love. Some don't want
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to hurt the feelings of a man who wants to be hers exclusively, so
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they become social hermits. Trust that you look good enough to get any man
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hard, that no dick created can whip you, and that that any man
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who signs up for what you are about to offer knows what he's getting into,
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no more excuses. Another negative thought will be he doesn't look like the
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type that would be into that bullshit, even nice guys like sex. I
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don't care if the guy that gets you moist is stumbled upon at church or
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at your son's little league practice. Assume that he's down to beat the brakes
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off that emotionally unavailable pussy. Having the confidence that what you are about to
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bring to the table won't be turned down is mandatory for success. The rules
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remain the same as if you were looking for a friend to date or talk
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to flirt, exchange numbers, find time to meet up face to face,
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and see if he's someone you actually like and trust. This is the most
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important step. Do not be impulsive and ask a guy on the phone the
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day after the first time you meet if he's down to be your dick daddy.
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By not vetting him properly. You may end up with a creep who
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ends up posting your panties on Instagram. Take your time and be sure that
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he's right for you. This isn't a race, and you aren't just giving
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your box away. He has to be worthy enough to fuck. Unlike boyfriend
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hunting, this should be much more seductive and sexually charged. Put it on
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front street early on that you aren't looking for a man currently and let him
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react. He may be someone who is looking for a girl to settle down
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with, and that lets you know he's not the one for this merger.
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If he responds with the same sentiment about just having a friend and getting to
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know people, then move forward. Do this quickly and decisively. Do not
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be shy beating around the bush because you're afraid of how he may react to
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Your bluntness makes you look weak, and if you want this to work,
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you have to be serious and in control or he'll take you as a joke.
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You have a guy in your life that you want to test this on.
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What do you do practically to lay the foundation? Call him up and
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have phone sex. Seriously, call him and initiate phone sex and see if
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he's receptive. Phone sex is the ultimate icebreaker. It drops all formalities and
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breaks a person down to their nastiest. If you don't know how to have
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phone sex, you're either sixteen years old or criminally out of the loop.
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I assume most reading this know how to phone bone properly, so I won't
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delve into this step by step. Email me if you're that stuck, and
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I will be happy to give you a laundry list of filthy conversation starter.
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After you have phone sex, make the offer. He already knows that you're
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not looking for a boyfriend, yet he's not in the brother role either,
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due to the exchange of I want you to eat it from the back dialogue.
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Now it's time to let it be known that you're not looking for a
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simple let's see where this goes friend, but an adult arrangement that benefits both
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of you. It doesn't matter the exact wording, so long as you get
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this point across. I want someone that I can call up to come handle
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this without trying to make things more serious than sex. Are you up for
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that kind of arrangement? Ten out of ten guys who just jerked off on
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the phone with you will agree. How to test. You made a handshaked
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deal at this point, and as those in business know, some handshake deals
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aren't worth shit it. This professional arrangement is all talk until after you have
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sex. How will he react after he hits? Will you be a good
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lay? Will he be a good layer? I advise having a marathon sex
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session out the gate, let him spend the night or make him rent a
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hotel so you can really get a sense of what he's working with sexually.
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I'm not talking about dick's size, but his ability to please you. There
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is no excuse for getting into a sexual agreement with a dude who can't make
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you come none. The first time anyone has sex with someone new, there
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are nerves, and while women are going to get wet, men may not
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get hard or may not last but a few minutes. Give him an opportunity
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to make up for the first fuck that same night, and give yourself additional
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time to put it on him, just in case you zone out during the
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first session and revert into a corpse bride. By the next morning, you
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will have decided if he's worth keeping or if his dick game is weaker than
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a hulk Hogan leg drop. If he's garbage. Don't feel the need to
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explain your dissatisfaction when he calls you up. Tell him that you're busy.
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He's not your real friend and you're not his jump off. He's your dick,
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and if you don't want to use him anymore, you don't have to
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explain shit. After not having time for him or never hitting him up for
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a rematch, he'll get the hint. Don't be nice. Some women see
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subpar dick as better than any dick, but you're wasting your time with that
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guy when you could be out big game hunting for a dude that can make
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you squirt. Alternatively, this period is also a good test of his mindset.
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To be honest, A spartan pussy will make a man go back on
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his word, and although you laid the ground rules, he may try to
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amend them and wife you if he starts to sweeten up following the sex.
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His claim about being with the arrangement was just talk, and he's not built
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to be your convenience cock. Save the drama and cut him off before he
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grows too attached. How to enjoy You found a man that can eat and
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beat like a champ and doesn't try to blur the lines you set. Be
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happy, don't get lost in the sexual bliss and become too involved. This
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guy is Papa John's. You like ordering from him, but he's free to
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service other people, and you're free to order pizza from Pizza Hut or Rockin
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Sushi if you are a little by curious. Either way, you have no
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claim to this man and he has no claim to you. Keep that in
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the front of your mind, because a constance serving of good dick causes female
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amnesia. Don't ask him who else he's fucking. Don't mention other guys that
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you may be dating, or any other topic that brings to light that you're
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probably sharing each other. Assume that he's fucking other people and be okay with
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that. As long as you're keeping sex safe, it's all good. You
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can't expect a man to agree to an exclusive fuck buddy. It's not fair,
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nor is it realistic. Even if he tells you that you're the only
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one he's seeing, he's going to be looking for a woman that can give
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him what he needs sexually and emotionally. By making it your mind, you
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turn a relaxed affair into something serious and restrictive. This is supposed to be
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fun. The second you start thinking about who else he's seeing, or if
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he's lying about seeing other women, you may as well be in a real
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fucking relationship. You only want sex because you're not ready for the rest.
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Remember that. Don't turn the perfect situation into another messy chapter in your life
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by being sensitive and territorial. How to walk away. I've talked about upgrading
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relationships in chapter nineteen of Solving Single, so I won't get into that aspect
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or revisit how to remix those rules. Instead, I'll focus on how to
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walk away from a purely sexual agreement with no hard feelings. There will come
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a time when he's not acting as into it as he used to be.
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Maybe he's burnt out, maybe he wants more. If this happens, it's
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time for him to go. You don't need an Alan Iverson dick on your
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team aging and going through personal issues that are performance. You need a Kevin
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Durant dick, hungry, willing, and able to pull his all into that
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performance and leave that drama outside the bedroom. Additionally, if you're tired of
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sex with him and it's feeling more like a chore, than a rush cut
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it off. I know that pussy expires, and I imagine that a penis
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must go through the same process. You don't owe it to him to keep
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him on your roster. Six weeks or six months in. You always have
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the option to cancel his contract. Be direct, not cruel, which means
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tell him straight up that you need a break, as opposed to faking an
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argument that pushes him away. He may try to talk you into coming out
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of retirement, and you may want to call him up during those first few
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bored weekends, but stand your ground. All good things that come to an
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end, you have to embrace that it's over, and except that you will
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have to get out of that comfort zone and look for someone else to scratch
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that itch. This shouldn't be disheartening, It should be exciting, like buying
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a new car after the lease expires. Why waste this break period with the
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same fuck buddy for a year. You test drove a dark skinned dude with
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muscles, Now go test out a skinny justin Timberlake looking white boy. Variety
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is good. Contrary to popular belief, sex is not dirty. It's natural
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and if done safely, can help relieve stress and anxiety. Taking a break
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from love doesn't mean you have to be celibate. No date zones are to
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heal, but once you finish healing or are close to it, there is
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nothing wrong with having casual sex if that's the kind of woman you are.
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Some people call this a whole phase, but it's more like college explore yourself.
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It's more beneficial to explore what you like sexually during a love furlough,
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so there are no questions, reservations, or things left unexplored when you do
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meet that game changer that blows you away and locks you down, regardless of
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why you're not looking for a boyfriend. Now, you will open your heart
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up eventually, and you will get married, be able to look back on
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this time as the chapter where you lived sexually and did the type of nasty
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shit that would make Anna Steel tap out. You don't have to sit around
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fingers deep watching porn hub because you're emotionally unavailable. You can always spartan up
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and find a boy toy to get the job done. Ze music like sound to boar