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The One Tool That Will Transform Your Family Forever According To My 17 y/o Daughter · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  Hey guys, we have something unique for this week on the podcast.
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  My 17-year-old daughter Kyra just got back from a speech tournament,
• 0:08
  the National Speech Tournament in Minneapolis,
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  where her speech was 10th in the nation.
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  She talked about lots of themes you guys are going to be familiar with,
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  but wow, she just nails the idea of family as a team
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  and the number one tool that will transform your family
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  from a group of individuals into a team.
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  So definitely listen to this one.
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  Love for you guys to share this one around.
• 0:28
  Enjoy this.
• 0:28
  This is Kyra Pryor on the one tool that will transform your family forever.
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  Ladies and gentlemen, the United States has just become number one.
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  And what, you might ask?
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  Well, we just passed Sweden in becoming the number one country in the world in single-parent homes.
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  Our share is more than three times the global average.
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  Not great, right?
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  Well, this proves that whatever is happening to destroy the family is most advanced right here in our country.
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  But I also have some good news.
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  In this talk, I'll be laying out four points.
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  First, I will
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  reveal the hidden cause for the breakdown of the modern Western family.
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  Second, you will learn the
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  ancient tool that can heal the family.
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  Third, I'll tell you how this tool has transformed my life.
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  And finally, I'll give you a couple of steps to get you started in mastering this tool to
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  transform your family.
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  But first, allow me to introduce myself.
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  My name is Kyra Pryor.
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  I'm a
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  17-year-old girl, and I grew up in a strange family.
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  Now, you might be wondering, what could
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  a teenage girl teach me about family?
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  I mean, we all grew up in one, so we all kind of consider
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  ourselves experts on how it works, but what if most of us were wrong?
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  So what is wrong?
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  What is
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  the truth, and how can we fix what has been broken?
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  These are all questions that my family has been
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  trying to answer since before I was born, and after years and years of research, travel, trial,
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  and error in studying the scriptures, the results of our efforts have finally begun to show
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  that nothing shapes the family more than the table.
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  So let's get into my first point.
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  I will
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  reveal the hidden cause for the breakdown of the modern western family summarized in three words,
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  nuclear, nest, and narcissistic.
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  For thousands of years we've existed in multi-generational homes,
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  but we've replaced the multi-generational family with smaller fragile nuclear families.
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  Now, the nuclear family is still important,
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  but it was intended to be embedded inside these larger, stronger, multi-generational families.
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  And this kind of multi-generational family used to function as a team
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  who worked and worshipped together.
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  But instead of building our families as teams, we've begun to build nests.
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  Now, the nest is designed to self-destruct and start over every single generation,
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  just like the name implies.
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  Like a bird.
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  And this has given rise to our third N.
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  narcissism.
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  The modern family is designed around the individual.
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  The goal of the modern family is
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  not to sacrifice for the team, but to launch the individual.
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  I mean, think about it.
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  A good family
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  today means that you're a good springboard for individual success.
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  But what if instead,
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  everyone in your family was working towards one big, meaningful goal instead of hyper-focusing
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  on this individual success.
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  So what can a mom or dad do who wants to transform their fragile nuclear
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  narcissistic nest into a multi-generational team on mission?
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  The answer is found in my second point.
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  There is a simple tool that does this.
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  A single tradition that can forever transform the kind of
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  family that you are building.
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  And that is three generations around one table every week.
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  Any family
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  who implements this tradition will turn into a multi-generational family and begin to function
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  more like a team than a group of individuals.
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  And that team will seek out a mission.
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  So my question for you is, how do I know?
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  That's more of a question for myself, but how do I know?
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  This credibility really matters in these kinds of speeches.
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  How am I credible in this stance?
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  Well, it's because I've seen it hundreds and hundreds of times with my own eyes.
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  You see,
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  I grew up in a strange family.
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  My parents met in Jerusalem and they couldn't believe how
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  consistently interconnected family dynamics were there.
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  So years later, my entire family of seven
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  returns to live in Israel.
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  We were kind of like cultural archaeologists trying to understand why
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  the Jewish and Arabic cultures created such strong families.
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  In fact, Israel is the only
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  developed country in the entire world that has maintained fertility above replacement rate.
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  And years later, we finally found out why.
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  And the answer is simple.
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  Three generations around one table every week.
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  The tradition that Jewish families call the Shabbat dinner is what makes their family dynamics different from ours.
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  I remember when we lived in Jerusalem.
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  Every Friday evening, you would see young families scurrying off to their parents' houses to experience the meal that began their day of rest together.
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  and as the sun set, a quiet would settle over the whole city, so complete that if you listened
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  closely, all you could hear was the sound of fathers chanting blessings over their wives
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  and children.
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  It was truly beautiful.
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  So for as long as I can remember, my family has implemented
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  this tradition and the older I've gotten, the more I've realized how essential it is to maintaining
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  our dynamic as a multi-generational team on mission.
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  This leads me to my third point.
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  What has this tool done in my life?
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  Well, for one, I feel like I actually know my grandparents.
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  You know how some old people are always trying to tell stories
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  or just share experiences that they've had whenever they get the chance?
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  Well, this tool gives my grandparents an outlet to tell these stories
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  and to pass them on.
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  And now our table has reached the fourth generation
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  with my siblings' children.
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  So every time we gather around this table,
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  meaning overflows the room.
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  And I, as a teenage girl in this day and age, I feel like I'm actually a part of something big.
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  Something that I didn't have to search the world to find, but that God has built right around me where I already am.
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  But sadly, most teenagers don't get that experience.
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  Did you know that researchers and statistics all agree that teenage well-being and the table are insanely interconnected?
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  According to some research done by Casa Columbia,
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  teenagers with less than three family meals per week
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  are much more likely to engage in substance abuse.
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  Along with that,
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  did you know that almost eight out of every 10 teenagers
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  experiences some kind of identity crisis?
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  These things are awful.
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  Our teenagers are sick.
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  But thank God,
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  these are all things I have never had to experience
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  because I know my identity.
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  I know who I am, and I know where I came from.
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  Do you know all eight names of all eight of your great-grandparents?
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  Statistically speaking, you probably don't, because only 4% of the population does.
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  The only reason I know their names is because of conversations with my grandparents around this weekly table.
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  So what?
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  all these shockingly tragic facts, they show the very strong link between teenage well-being,
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  individual well-being, and the table.
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  So what?
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  How do we begin healing our teenagers and teaching
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  our children their identities?
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  We master this tradition.
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  I'll give you a couple of steps to
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  get you started in my fourth point.
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  First, pick a time to establish your multi-generational family
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  meal every week.
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  But if you don't have three generations nearby, catch this, this is very
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  important, if you don't have three generations nearby, or if you don't have a healthy relationship
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  with upstream generations, that's okay.
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  Just start with two.
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  You and your kids.
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  But make it the kind
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  of meal that your kids can't wait to bring their children, that is your grandchildren, to.
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  Next,
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  make it fun.
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  I remember growing up, our weekly meal was the one time I was allowed to drink
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  sparkling grape juice, and me and my sisters always loved dressing up for the occasion.
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  Next, make it sustainable.
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  Pick the time, food, meal that is most sustainable for you and your
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  family.
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  For some families, that's a Sunday afternoon.
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  For others, it's a weekday evening,
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  but set it apart as sacred and different from the rest.
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  And finally, probably the most important one,
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  make it meaningful.
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  Bless the sons and the daughters.
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  Tell family stories.
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  Play a family
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  game afterwards.
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  Give yourselves time to develop this tradition according to your unique family
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  dynamic.
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  This meal is your canvas for crafting what makes your family special.
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  But I can tell
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  you this, as soon as you have it, as soon as you've established three generations around one table
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  every week, you will begin to see your family transform before your eyes.
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  Your family will go
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  multi-generational and begin to function more like this team instead of a group of individuals.
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  and that team will seek out a mission,
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  therefore maximizing you and your family's impact
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  on the kingdom and the world at large.
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  Nothing shapes the family more than the table.
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  Remember, the gospel story began around a table
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  at the Last Supper.
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  Our identities are transformed around the communion table
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  and we look forward to a beautiful future around a table
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  with our Heavenly Father at the wedding supper of the Lamb.
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  So my hope for you and your family is that you would be able to experience peak family life,
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  as described by the psalmist when he said,
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  Thank you.
• 10:13
  course called Five Days to Transform Your Family into a Team.
• 10:17
  It's five short emails that walk you
• 10:19
  through how to bring shared vision, rhythms, and purpose back into your home.
• 10:24
  It's simple,
• 10:25
  biblical, and practical.
• 10:26
  You can join us for free at familyteams.com slash transform.