Latest / The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor / Ep. 4 The To Do List & Bad Vibes

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Ep. 4 The To Do List & Bad Vibes · The Imperfect Impulse w/Bree O'Connor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Imperfect Impulse with Brie O'Connor.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Brie O'Connor.
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  We are going to take a little left turn at Albuquerque here and
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  get a little more
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  SPEAKER_01: personal with our exercises this week.
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  SPEAKER_01: We're going to talk about getting started.
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  Now,
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  regardless of your artistic practice,
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  I think we all have these ideas about
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  SPEAKER_01: what sort of environment we need to work.
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  SPEAKER_01: The dishes need to be done,
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  SPEAKER_01: or the to-do list needs to be conquered,
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  SPEAKER_01: or I have to have total quiet and there's so many people at home,
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  SPEAKER_01: or I don't have a perfect workspace,
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  SPEAKER_01: or I need to leave the house in order to do it,
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  SPEAKER_01: or I don't have the perfect tools.
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  SPEAKER_01: There are million and one reasons why we don't get started.
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  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes those are legit,
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  SPEAKER_01: like if you are into ceramics,
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  SPEAKER_01: but you don't have a kiln or even clay to work with at home that is,
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  SPEAKER_01: you know,
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  SPEAKER_01: properly refined and all of that.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's going to be a legitimate obstacle for you.
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  And it may seem insurmountable to go find facilities in which
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  you can do that.
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  SPEAKER_01: But...
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  SPEAKER_01: When there is a will, there is a way.
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  SPEAKER_01: You don't necessarily have to sit there.
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  SPEAKER_01: And in the acting world, we call this playing the obstacle.
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  SPEAKER_01: Oh, God, I'm going to take a little sidetrack here.
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  SPEAKER_01: So for the non-actors out there,
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  there is a very wise saying in the acting world that you can't
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  play a negative.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can't play I am not something.
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  SPEAKER_01: If you are playing Little Orphan Annie,
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  if you spend all your time thinking about all the things Little
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  Orphan Annie is not,
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  SPEAKER_01: she's not old,
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  SPEAKER_01: she's not scared,
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  SPEAKER_01: she's not
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  SPEAKER_01: Quiet.
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  You'll spend a whole time focusing on this whole world of
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  things that she is not,
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  SPEAKER_01: but you're not drilling in on what she is.
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  SPEAKER_01: That makes it really unplayable as an actor.
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  And you'll find that in your regular life that if you are
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  playing the obstacle,
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  SPEAKER_01: you will find yourself frozen every time.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because if everywhere you turn there is a negative,
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  SPEAKER_01: how are you going to find out what you are actually doing?
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  SPEAKER_01: So as an actor looks at a piece of text and they might say,
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  SPEAKER_01: okay,
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  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm angry on this line.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to play angry,
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  SPEAKER_01: but you can think about,
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  SPEAKER_01: I want to shake this person into reality,
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  SPEAKER_01: or I want to
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  SPEAKER_01: I want to violate them with my words.
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  SPEAKER_01: I want to explode my frustrations so that they feel them.
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  Whatever that is,
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  those are all off the top of my head and aren't particularly eloquent.
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  But the point is that you have to find something that you can
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  actually do in order
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  SPEAKER_01: to move forward.
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  So part of the thing that stops us from getting started is that
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  we are mired in a
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  SPEAKER_01: negative language.
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  SPEAKER_01: We are mired in the nots,
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  SPEAKER_01: the things I don't have,
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  SPEAKER_01: the things that I can't do,
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  SPEAKER_01: instead of focusing on what is actually within your grasp.
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to put my glasses back on so I can see my notes here.
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  SPEAKER_01: Hold on a second.
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  SPEAKER_01: So we'll say things like, I don't have enough time.
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  SPEAKER_01: I need hours to work.
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  SPEAKER_01: Well, okay, that might be true.
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  SPEAKER_01: But what if you could dedicate 15,
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  SPEAKER_01: 20 minutes a day to meditating on how you might want to proceed?
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  SPEAKER_01: or planning for a creative project,
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  SPEAKER_01: or outlining,
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  SPEAKER_01: jotting down free-form ideas,
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  SPEAKER_01: doodling,
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  SPEAKER_01: you know,
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  all kinds of things that you can do in a short period of time
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  that will focus your
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  SPEAKER_01: mind on the task that you want to accomplish.
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  And if you can dedicate 15 minutes a day,
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  you'll find that suddenly time opens up for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: So I like 15 minutes feels like a manageable increment of time.
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  And the more you train yourself to handle that 15 minutes in a
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  focused way,
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  SPEAKER_01: the more things will become available to you.
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  SPEAKER_01: I promise you it's like magic.
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  Now the other thought that we often have is,
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  you know what,
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  the vibe is off.
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  The room is too bright or it's too noisy or there's too many
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  kids running around I
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  SPEAKER_01: can't focus I can't you know,
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  there's all those Those noisy things that that we can't seem to
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  get past Well,
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  SPEAKER_01: then you can start to think about what can I do?
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  SPEAKER_01: Can I?
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  SPEAKER_01: Go work at a cafe Can I go to the library?
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  SPEAKER_01: Can I
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  SPEAKER_01: Put on noise-canceling headphones.
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  SPEAKER_01: Do I want to work at like 5 a.m.?
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, take your 15 minutes at 5 a.m.
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  SPEAKER_01: with a cup of coffee.
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  SPEAKER_01: Anything to just give yourself time.
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  Also,
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  another thing that stops us from starting is this idea of
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  finished product.
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  SPEAKER_01: That,
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  SPEAKER_01: oh,
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  that feels like too big of a project and I can't wrap my mind
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  around the steps,
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  SPEAKER_01: so I'm not even going to get started because I couldn't possibly.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's where you have to break things down and think, okay,
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  SPEAKER_01: If you can just sit down and plan,
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  SPEAKER_01: and that planning period may take several weeks,
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  may take years where you sit down for 15 minutes a day and
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  enjoy the visualization
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  SPEAKER_01: of the project.
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  SPEAKER_01: When you're ready and you make space for it,
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  it's amazing how that little wedge of time kind of cracks
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  things open for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: Now the to-do list,
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  SPEAKER_01: all of the things that we have to do for other people,
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  SPEAKER_01: this is definitely a mom artist trap.
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  I've got to feed the kids,
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  get them from school,
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  take them to piano lessons.
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  I've got to organize a play date,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah,
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  blah.
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  SPEAKER_01: All of those things, they are true.
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  SPEAKER_01: Those are real obligations.
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  SPEAKER_01: So I want to validate that for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: Those are real obligations.
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  SPEAKER_01: However, can you imagine a world
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  SPEAKER_01: where you can couple those obligations with opportunity.
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  SPEAKER_01: So you need to organize a playdate.
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  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
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  Can you organize a regular trade where you drop your kid off at
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  the friend's house
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  and then you have a little bit of time to focus on yourself and
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  you trade so that
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  SPEAKER_01: that time is equal between you and that other parent?
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  Is there a way where you can incorporate your children into a
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  creative project?
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  SPEAKER_01: I mean,
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  certainly you're going to end up with quite a bit of randomness
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  invested in your work,
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  SPEAKER_01: especially if you are a visual artist.
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  SPEAKER_01: But that might be something that frees you,
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  even if it's just teaching your kids a certain technique and
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  doing it alongside them.
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  SPEAKER_01: and allowing just a little bit of free play.
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  A little low-stakes play is really one of the most wonderful
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  things that we can do
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  for ourselves as creative people is to remove the pressure to
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  perform perfectly.
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  SPEAKER_01: We can make creativity a habit.
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  And that's something about the 15 minutes a day that I keep
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  coming up with.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can,
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  SPEAKER_01: you know,
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  SPEAKER_01: use that to free write,
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  SPEAKER_01: to meditate,
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  SPEAKER_01: to make notes,
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  SPEAKER_01: sketch in a notebook,
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  SPEAKER_01: doodle.
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  SPEAKER_01: Or expose yourself to art daily.
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  And by that I mean not just,
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  hey,
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  look,
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  there's a painting or I watched a television show.
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  SPEAKER_01: The idea that you expose yourself to art with your critical lens,
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  SPEAKER_01: that will also help you remove some of those roadblocks.
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  For example,
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  I mean,
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  most of us watch some amount of television in a day.
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  SPEAKER_01: So if you're watching,
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  SPEAKER_01: you know,
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  SPEAKER_01: a late night talk show or whatever,
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  SPEAKER_01: and a joke made you laugh,
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  why don't you go ahead and spend a little time just
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  deconstructing that joke?
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  SPEAKER_01: What about it was funny?
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  SPEAKER_01: Was it the delivery?
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  SPEAKER_01: How did the delivery make the content hit the way that it did?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it the construction?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it the perfect placement of words?
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  Is it the way the comedian's face looked when they said it so
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  that they're sort of
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  SPEAKER_01: conveying an opposite idea from the words that they were saying?
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  SPEAKER_01: We encounter art every day.
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  SPEAKER_01: But if you take time to encounter art critically,
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  that's another way that you can sort of open up your practice
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  for yourself and be a
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  SPEAKER_01: little bit more conscious with how you expend your creative energy.
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  SPEAKER_01: The more you do this as a habit,
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  SPEAKER_01: the more creativity is going to present itself in your daily life.
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  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty of today's topic.
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  SPEAKER_01: We're going to talk about your inner critic.
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  SPEAKER_01: That voice that tells you, no, don't bother.
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  SPEAKER_01: You're too old to start on that pathway now.
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  SPEAKER_01: You didn't study as a child.
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  SPEAKER_01: Or you haven't done that in years.
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  SPEAKER_01: Or,
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  SPEAKER_01: you know,
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  whatever that voice that is telling you that you are not enough
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  or that no one is
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  SPEAKER_01: interested in what you have to say,
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to ask you to befriend that voice.
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  SPEAKER_01: That voice has been a part of your life for a long time.
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  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever visualized that voice?
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  SPEAKER_01: Here may be a chance where you can close your eyes,
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  SPEAKER_01: or if you are so inclined,
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  SPEAKER_01: you can doodle,
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  SPEAKER_01: or you can write things down,
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  SPEAKER_01: however your brain best processes this information.
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  SPEAKER_01: I want you to visualize that voice.
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  SPEAKER_01: Give that voice a body.
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  SPEAKER_01: Put it in your mind's eye.
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  SPEAKER_01: Have you seen this body before?
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  SPEAKER_01: Are you familiar with it?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it a totally new creation?
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  SPEAKER_01: If it's sort of a monstrous amalgam of parts of things,
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  SPEAKER_01: can you zero in on what those parts are and what they might mean to you?
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  SPEAKER_01: What does that voice sound like?
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  SPEAKER_01: I want you to really hear it.
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it an adult voice?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it loud and sonorous?
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  SPEAKER_01: Is it deep?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is it high and squeaky?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is it timid?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is it angry?
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  SPEAKER_00: Really give shape to that voice that's in your head.
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  SPEAKER_01: And then I want you to treat that voice with care and concern.
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  SPEAKER_01: I want you to consider that that voice is not your enemy.
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  SPEAKER_01: That voice is
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  Something that you have developed to protect yourself from pain,
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  from rejection.
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  SPEAKER_01: That voice has been a little alarm bell.
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  SPEAKER_01: When did you first hear it?
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  SPEAKER_01: Can you go back that far?
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  Is there an incident that comes to mind where that voice was
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  really loud and insistent?
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  SPEAKER_01: What was going on in your life at that time?
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  Chances are you've developed this voice or have adopted this
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  voice because it may
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  SPEAKER_01: be the voice of someone in your life.
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  SPEAKER_01: that you've adopted this voice as a way to keep yourself safe from harm.
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  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I want you to treat this voice with care.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because though it may be misguided,
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  SPEAKER_01: and it may be using tactics that are harmful,
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  SPEAKER_01: it came here to save you.
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  SPEAKER_01: And maybe this voice needs a little love and affection as well.
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  SPEAKER_01: So for this week, I want you to have a conversation with this voice.
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  SPEAKER_01: Talk to it.
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  SPEAKER_01: What is this voice afraid of?
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  SPEAKER_01: And then I want you to address this.
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  SPEAKER_01: the fears of that voice.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because once you hear it out, you may find out that this is not logical.
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  Maybe this voice is speaking from a very immature place and you
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  are now an adult
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  SPEAKER_01: who can address this voice and calm its fears.
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  SPEAKER_01: Give it comfort.
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  SPEAKER_01: And let it know that you have a game plan for this exploration.
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  SPEAKER_01: Let it know that you're in control and that you got this.
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  SPEAKER_01: Let it know that it is not only okay to not be perfect,
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  SPEAKER_01: That it's okay to make mistakes.
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  SPEAKER_01: That it's okay to paint over or erase or even be frustrated.
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  It's okay to not produce your best work because those are just
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  stepping stones to
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  SPEAKER_01: becoming a better,
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  SPEAKER_01: more competent,
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  SPEAKER_01: technically astute artist.
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  SPEAKER_01: That you can't get there unless you try.
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  SPEAKER_01: Soothe that little voice.
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  Maybe create a ritual where every time it gets loud that you
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  sit down and have a
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  cup of hot cocoa or tea with that voice and you talk to it and
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  you give it a cookie
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  SPEAKER_01: and tell it a little sweet bedtime story and let it go to sleep.
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  SPEAKER_01: Whatever ritual sort of
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  is calming for you because the truth is that voice is part of
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  you and it deserves
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  SPEAKER_01: love and acceptance too.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's not here to hurt you.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's trying to help.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's a little foolish in its methodology but it's trying to help.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's our exercise for this week.
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  If it's helpful for you to create a reminder of this
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  conversation with this inner critic,
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  SPEAKER_01: that's another opportunity for creativity.
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  And maybe that's something that you can keep in a prominent
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  spot in your creative space.
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  SPEAKER_01: So you can remind yourself that
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  SPEAKER_01: That this voice doesn't have to control you.
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  SPEAKER_01: That this voice is part of you that needs nurturance and care.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's it for this week's Imperfect Impulse.
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  SPEAKER_01: I will join you again next week.