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19 - Mr Justice Raffles by E W Hornung · Mr. Justice Raffles

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  Speaker 1: Buffs by E. W. Hornham, Chapter nineteen Apologia. On one
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  Speaker 1: of the worst days of last year, to wit the
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  Speaker 1: first day of the evening Harrow match, I had turned
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  Speaker 1: into the Hammond in German Street as the best available
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  Speaker 1: asylum for wet boots that might no longer enter any club.
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  Speaker 1: Mine had been removed by a little pinchbeck oriental in
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  Speaker 1: the outer courts, and I wandered within, unpleasantly, conscious of
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  Speaker 1: a hole in one's sock, to find myself, by no
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  Speaker 1: means the only obvious refugee from the rain. The bath
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  Speaker 1: was in fact inconveniently crowded, but at length I found
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  Speaker 1: a divin to suit me in an upstairs alcove. I
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  Speaker 1: had the choice, indeed of more than one. But in
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  Speaker 1: spite of my antecedents, I am fastidious about my cooling
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  Speaker 1: companions in a Turkish bath. And it was by no
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  Speaker 1: accident that I hung my clothes opposite to a newer
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  Speaker 1: morning coat and a pair of trousers more decisively creased
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  Speaker 1: than my own. But the coincidence in Pickle was no
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  Speaker 1: less remarkable. In ensuing stages of physical devastation, one had
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  Speaker 1: dim glimpses of a not unfamiliar reddish countenance. But with
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  Speaker 1: the increment of years it has been my lot to
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  Speaker 1: contract short sight as well as incipient obesity. And in
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  Speaker 1: the hot rooms my glasses lose their grip upon my nose.
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  Speaker 1: So it was not until I lay swathed upon my
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  Speaker 1: divin that I recognized E. M. Garland in the fine,
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  Speaker 1: fresh faced owner of the night's clothes opposite mine. A
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  Speaker 1: tawny mustache rather spoilt him as Phoebus, and there was
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  Speaker 1: a hint of old gold about the shaven jaw and chin.
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  Speaker 1: But I never saw better looks of the unintellectual order,
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  Speaker 1: and the amber eye was as clear as ever the
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  Speaker 1: great strong wicket keeper's hand unexpectedly hearty when recognition dawned
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  Speaker 1: on Teddy in his turn, he spoke of Raffles without
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  Speaker 1: hesitation or reserve, and of me and my raffles writings
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  Speaker 1: as though there was nothing reprehensible in one or the other,
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  Speaker 1: displaying indeed a flattering knowledge of those pious memorials. But
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  Speaker 1: of course I'd take them with a grain of salt,
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  Speaker 1: said Teddy Garland. You don't make me believe you are,
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  Speaker 1: either of you such desperate dogs as all that I
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  Speaker 1: can't see you climbing ropes or squirming through scullery windows,
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  Speaker 1: even for the fun of the thing. He added, with
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  Speaker 1: somewhat tardy tact, it is certainly rather hard to credit now.
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  Speaker 1: I felt that, after all, there was something to be
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  Speaker 1: said for being too fat at forty, and that Teddy
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  Speaker 1: Garland had said it excellently. Now, he continued, if only
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  Speaker 1: you would give us the row between Raffles and dan Levy,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, the whole battle royal that a j fought
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  Speaker 1: and won for me and my poor father, that would
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  Speaker 1: be something like the world would see the sort of
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  Speaker 1: chap he really was. I am afraid it would have
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  Speaker 1: to see the sort of chaps we all were. Just then,
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  Speaker 1: said I, as I still think, with exemplary delicacy. But
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  Speaker 1: Teddy lay silent and florid for some time. These athletes
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  Speaker 1: have their vanity, but this one rose superior to his Manders,
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  Speaker 1: said he leaving his divan and coming and sitting on
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  Speaker 1: the edge of mine. You have my free leave to
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  Speaker 1: give me and mine away to the four winds. If
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  Speaker 1: you will tell the truth about that duel and what
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  Speaker 1: Raffles did for the lot of us. Perhaps he did
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  Speaker 1: more than you ever knew. Put it all in. It
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  Speaker 1: was a longer duel than you think. He once called
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  Speaker 1: it a guerrilla duel. Then make a book of it.
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  Speaker 1: But I've written my last word about the old boy. Then,
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  Speaker 1: by George, i've a good mind to write it myself.
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  Speaker 1: This was an awful threat. Happily he lapped the materials,
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  Speaker 1: and so I told him I haven't got them all myself,
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  Speaker 1: I added, only to be politely but openly disbelieved. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know where you were, said I all that first
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  Speaker 1: day of the match, when it rained. Garland was beginning
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  Speaker 1: to smile when the surprise of my statement got home
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  Speaker 1: and changed his face. Do you mean to say a
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  Speaker 1: Jane never told you? He cried, still incredulously. No, he
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't give you away, not even to you his pal. No.
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  Speaker 1: I was naturally curious on the point, but he refused
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  Speaker 1: to tell me. What a chap, murmured Teddy, with a
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  Speaker 1: tender enthusiasm that made me love him. What a friend
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  Speaker 1: for a fellow, Well, Manders, if you don't write all this,
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  Speaker 1: I certainly shall, so I may as well tell you
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  Speaker 1: where I was. I must say, it would interest me
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  Speaker 1: to know. My companion resumed his smile where he had
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  Speaker 1: left it off. I wonder if you would ever guess,
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  Speaker 1: he speculated, looking down into my face. I don't suppose
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  Speaker 1: I should no more, do I not in a month
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  Speaker 1: of Sundays. For I spent that day on the very
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  Speaker 1: sofa I was on a minute ago. I looked at
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  Speaker 1: the stripe divin opposite. I looked at Teddy Garland sitting
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  Speaker 1: on mine. His smile was a little wry, with the
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  Speaker 1: remnant of his bygone shame. He hurried on before I
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  Speaker 1: could find a word. You remember that drug I had
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  Speaker 1: somnell I think it was. That was a risky game
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  Speaker 1: to play with any head but one's own. Still, A
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  Speaker 1: j was right in thinking I should have been worse
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  Speaker 1: without any sleep at all. I should, said Teddy, but
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  Speaker 1: I should have rolled up at Lord's. The beastly stuff
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  Speaker 1: put me asleep, all right, But it didn't keep me
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  Speaker 1: asleep long enough. I was awake before four, heard you
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  Speaker 1: both talking in the next room. Remembered everything in a flash.
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  Speaker 1: But for that flash, I should have dropped off again
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  Speaker 1: in a minute. But if you remember all I had
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  Speaker 1: to remember, Manders, you won't wonder that I lay madly
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  Speaker 1: awake all the rest of the night. My head was
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  Speaker 1: wrought with sleep, but my heart was in such hell
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  Speaker 1: as I couldn't describe to you if I tried. I've
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  Speaker 1: been there, said I briefly. Well then you can imagine
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  Speaker 1: my frightful thoughts. Suicide was one, But to get out
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  Speaker 1: of that came first, to get away without looking either
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  Speaker 1: of you in the face in broad daylight. So I
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  Speaker 1: sha'n't sleep when raffles looked in, and when you both
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  Speaker 1: went out, I dressed in five minutes and slunk out two.
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  Speaker 1: I had no idea where I was going. I don't
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  Speaker 1: remember what brought me down into this street. It may
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  Speaker 1: have been my debt to Dan Levy. All I remember
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  Speaker 1: is finding myself opposite this place, my head splitting, and
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  Speaker 1: the sudden idea that a bath might freshen me up
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  Speaker 1: and couldn't make me worse. I remembered a j telling
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  Speaker 1: me he had once taken six wickets after one. So
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  Speaker 1: in I came. I had my bath and some tea
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  Speaker 1: and toast in the hot rooms. We were all to
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  Speaker 1: have a late breakfast together, if you recollect. I felt
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  Speaker 1: I should be in plenty of time for that, and
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  Speaker 1: Lord's if only I hadn't boiled all the cricket out
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  Speaker 1: of me. So I came up here and lay down there.
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  Speaker 1: But what I hadn't boiled out was that beastly drug.
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  Speaker 1: It got back on me like a boomerang. I closed
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  Speaker 1: my eyes for a minute, and it was well on
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  Speaker 1: in the afternoon when I awoke here. Teddy interrupted himself
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  Speaker 1: to order whiskies and soda of a metropolitan Bashi Bazouk,
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  Speaker 1: who happened to pass along the gallery and to go
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  Speaker 1: stumbling over to his pockets in his swaddling towels for
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  Speaker 1: cigarettes and matches, and the rest of his discourse was
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  Speaker 1: less coherent. Then I did feel it was a toss
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  Speaker 1: up between my razor and a charge of shot. I
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  Speaker 1: had no idea it was raining. If you look up
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  Speaker 1: at that colored skylight, you can't see if it's raining.
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  Speaker 1: Now there's another sort of hatchway on top of it.
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  Speaker 1: Then you hear that fountain tinkling all the time. You
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  Speaker 1: don't hear any rain, do you. It was after three,
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  Speaker 1: but I lay till nearly four, simply cursing my luck.
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  Speaker 1: There was no hurry. Then at last I wondered what
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  Speaker 1: the papers had to say about me, who was playing
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  Speaker 1: in my place, who'd won the toss and all the
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  Speaker 1: rest of it. So I had the nerve to send
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  Speaker 1: out for one. And what should I see? No play
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  Speaker 1: at lords and sudden illness of my poor father. You
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  Speaker 1: know the rest manders, because in less than twenty minutes
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  Speaker 1: after that we met, and I remember thinking how fit
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  Speaker 1: you looked, said I. It was the bath, of course,
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  Speaker 1: and the sleep on top of it. But I wonder
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  Speaker 1: they let you sleep so long. How could they know
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  Speaker 1: what I'd been up to? Said Teddy. I mightn't have
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  Speaker 1: had any sleep for a week. It was their business
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  Speaker 1: to let me be, But to think of the rain
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  Speaker 1: coming on and saving me, for even Raffles couldn't have
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  Speaker 1: done it without the rain. That was the great slice
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  Speaker 1: of luck while I was lying right there, And that's
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  Speaker 1: why I like to lie there still, for luck rather
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  Speaker 1: than remembrance. The drinks came, we smoked and sipped. I
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  Speaker 1: regretted to find that Teddy was no longer faithful to
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  Speaker 1: the old cigarette, But his loyalty to Raffles won my
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  Speaker 1: heart as he had never won it in his youth.
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  Speaker 1: Give us a way to your heart's content, said he.
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  Speaker 1: But give the dear old devil his due at last.
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  Speaker 1: But who exactly do you mean by us? My father?
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  Speaker 1: Not so much, perhaps because he's dead and gone, but
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  Speaker 1: self and wife as much as ever you like. Are
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  Speaker 1: you sure missus Garland won't mind? Mind? It was for her?
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  Speaker 1: He did it all, didn't you know that? I didn't know.
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  Speaker 1: Teddy knew it, and I began to think him a
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  Speaker 1: finer fellow than I had supposed. Am I to say? All?
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  Speaker 1: I know about that too? I asked? Rather, Camilla and
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  Speaker 1: I will both be delighted so long as you change
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  Speaker 1: our names, For we both loved him, said Teddy Garland.
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  Speaker 1: I wonder if they both forgive me for taking him
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  Speaker 1: entirely at his word. End of Chapter nineteen and of
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  Speaker 1: Mister Justice Raffles by E. W. Hornham