Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.112 | Why You Should Take the Opportunities that Don’t Make Sense with Leslie Jespersen, Performance Coach & Spotlight Strategist

Transcript

Ep.112 | Why You Should Take the Opportunities that Don’t Make Sense with Leslie Jespersen, Performance Coach & Spotlight Strategist · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  Mariah: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  Shay: We're your hosts, Mariah.
• 0:12
  Shay: And hey guys, I'm Shay.
• 0:14
  Shay: We're two online business consultants passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:21
  Shay: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
• 0:24
  Shay: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:28
  Mariah: Especially if we want to create a life that feels good from the inside out.
• 0:33
  Shay: So if you're ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way, let's get into the episode.
• 0:41
  Mariah: Oh, y'all, we got a fun episode for you this week.
• 0:44
  Mariah: So it's with Leslie Jesperson, and we were at her conference recently.
• 0:49
  Mariah: So at the time of recording this intro, we literally were at the conference like a month ago today.
• 0:56
  Mariah: I'm pretty sure it was like the kickoff day.
• 0:58
  Mariah: And so during that conference, Leslie was on stage and she was kind of teasing out like her story, how she got into the online space, just like what she was doing, like through her keynotes and like through her hosting the conference.
• 1:12
  Mariah: And me and Shay both looked at each other and we were like, we gotta know how this bitch got here.
• 1:17
  Mariah: Like, how did you get here?
• 1:18
  Mariah: And like, how did you end up doing what you're doing?
• 1:22
  Mariah: And so we reached out to her basically immediately, asked her to be on the podcast, and like that's where this episode and idea really came from.
• 1:32
  Shay: Well, yeah.
• 1:33
  Shay: I Leslie, you meet a there's a lot of people we know in the online space, and you meet some of these people in real life, and sometimes they don't like match up or they don't live up to expectations.
• 1:45
  Shay: I don't know what the right word is, but Leslie is not that.
• 1:48
  Shay: Like, I was delighted.
• 1:49
  Shay: Leslie is just a a real good human.
• 1:52
  Shay: Like, she is a person that's walking the walk.
• 1:54
  Shay: To me, she's given off this energy that she is like stepping into her zone and like really just getting into a cool lane.
• 2:02
  Shay: And like Mariah said, we just left her conference wanting to know more about her.
• 2:07
  Shay: So when Mariah got her uh to book a day with us, I cannot tell you guys how excited I was.
• 2:13
  Shay: So let's jump into the episode.
• 2:14
  Shay: I don't want to hold it back anymore.
• 2:16
  Shay: Before we dive in, just really quick a little bit about Leslie.
• 2:19
  Shay: She is an award-winning keynote speaker, media personality, event producer, and talent developer for entrepreneurs with a background spanning acting, modeling, television, live production, media, and celebrity talent.
• 2:32
  Shay: She now trains and positions entrepreneurs to come to become their own version of famous so people know who they are, what their magic is, and why they should be the one getting the speaking gigs, podcasts, TV, press, and bigger opportunities.
• 2:47
  Shay: And she's definitely going to explain more in this episode.
• 2:50
  Shay: If you guys aren't in Leslie's universe, follow along.
• 2:53
  Shay: She's a really cool person to be connected with.
• 2:55
  Shay: Let's jump in.
• 2:56
  Shay: Okay, friends, welcome back.
• 2:58
  Shay: If you listened to an episode earlier this season, Mariah and I talked about how we got back from an awesome conference in Atlantic City.
• 3:04
  Shay: And today we are excited because we have the hosts of that conference, Leslie, here with us.
• 3:09
  Shay: Leslie, thank you for joining us.
• 3:11
  Shay: Hi.
• 3:14
  Shay: We were totally blown away by you at the conference.
• 3:18
  Shay: You are um a really cool example of someone who has developed a really unique voice and perspective, and then stepped into that voice and perspective in a really awesome way.
• 3:31
  Shay: Seeing you up on stage and the people that you're developing to become speakers, it I think it blew our minds, Mariah and I.
• 3:38
  Shay: So today we're kind of just hoping to honestly, I left the conference being like, I want to know more about Leslie.
• 3:43
  Shay: Like, how did she get here?
• 3:45
  Shay: How in the world did she become this talent development keynote speaker specialist?
• 3:50
  Shay: So before we dive into like all the ways that you're awesome and what you're working on right now, do you mind giving us a sense of the origin story?
• 3:57
  Shay: Like, how did you become this like confident powerhouse speaker on stage?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, honestly, it is really a mishmash of me deciding that I don't like people telling me what to do.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so I changed jobs a lot.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, truly, that's what it is.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that people always told me would be my downfall, is like doing a lot of different things.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And probably in my late 30s, I was like, actually, I like I see a way that this all works together.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: All of the crazy things in my life.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And people tell me, like, I feel like I've known you for years now, but every time I'm in a conversation, you tell me like one more thing that you've done in your life, and I'm like, Where when did you do that?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I love that we have a lot of time to dive in, honestly.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I always say, you know, I've been getting paid to be on stages since I was nine years old.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that started.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: My parents owned an antique bookshop, and next door to that was a an acting studio.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so her name was Ursula, uh, a beautifully stunning blonde German woman.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: She always had her makeup and her hair perfect, and she basically plucked me off the sidewalk walking home from school one day and went to my stepdad and said, She's got to be famous.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: She's got to be on TV.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: She's got to be on the screen.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started doing some commercial acting classes there.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: But right around the same time, a play director uh walked in to the antique shop looking for props for the play.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm the oldest of five kids.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: My parents owned business.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like our latch key was like you sit down at one of the extra, you know, desks in the office and you do your homework and you don't bother anybody.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: But she came in.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, oh my gosh, what was her name?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Joanna.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Joanna, the director.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: She walked in and she was, you know, negotiating with my stepdad and you know, haggling as an antique dealer does.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she saw me, and I guess she was like, hey, I I haven't cast this part.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is an equity play.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So everybody else in this play is like they're equity, meaning they're in the union.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: They're professional actors from New York City.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have someone for this child role, if anybody's familiar with the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it was.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So there was only like three kid parts.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I like looked up with stars in my eyes, and I was like, yes, yes, partly because uh it was an opportunity for me to do something for myself.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, with with younger, I only had two younger brothers at that point in my life.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I was just, I was excited for something to do.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it was a lot of rehearsing.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I got to miss school a lot.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got to be homeschooled.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I got to wear blush and lipstick, and my parents were very, very strict with the Catholic school.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that was like a a brand new experience for me.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that is when I was bit by the bug.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew, I remember that very distinct feeling in my body that that is what I was meant to do for the rest of my life.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I did.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, up through through high school, I did all of the plays, all of the musicals that I could get my hands on under the restraints of, you know, a family with business and now four more kids.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so at that point, you know, I did sports, I did other things, but I wanted to be a theater performance major.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to move to New York City.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be a famous actress.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I uh applied to several colleges for theater performance, but I was a perfectionist.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to be the best, I needed to get the best roles, and I wanted the BFA program and not just the BA.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, you that I was not, that was not good enough for me.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the first college I did not get in.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I only got accepted to the BA program.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, well, I'm not doing this at all then.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I decided to go to school locally.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was also dating a boy that I was head over heels in love with, and started to think that like maybe that was my plan was to like just get married and have all of his babies.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Very conflicting time.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I ended up, like I said, going to school locally for theater performance.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I got a job, I got a role in an indie film, my second semester, and I was like, well, I'm obviously gonna be famous in the next three months.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I dropped out of college.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, these classes are dumb.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be an actor.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, obviously that's not how it works.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um I ended up getting pregnant by the time I was 20.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so my life kind of took a big uh my my career, like the vision that I saw for myself, took a big pause, a big back seat.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I started at a family, got married, um went to school for teaching.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Again, did a couple semesters.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up t uh teaching in the kindergarten classroom for a bit.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I never like finished my teaching degree.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was a long-term sub for sixth, seventh, eighth grade, which people are they either love it or they hate it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I decided that I liked working with adults better than kids.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: I did not have the patience.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I started doing more background acting in films.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: But at that point, um, I went on I had I had two kids by now, and just the schedule, like I couldn't, I couldn't balance it all.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I really had to put my my dreams on the back burner.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: When I say back burner, I think I at that point I was like, well, I'm this is never gonna work.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is I've got to squash these dreams forever.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh I started doing a lot of modeling just because it with modeling, it's a lot easier time-wise.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would get a national print campaign, I would have to drive two hours there, but the shoot was only 45 minutes, and then I drive home.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas on movie sets, you're there for 16 hours and you have no idea when you're done.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I did a little bit of the modeling.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I started getting into production work because I it was just it was a way for me to still be in the environment, and I was really good at it.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started doing production for festivals and for local events, and I started producing my own events.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And uh at this point, I got my college degree in communications, which was um a very broad term, really.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you graduate and you're still not really great at anything, but you know a little bit about a lot of stuff.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I focused on film, radio, TV, and advertising.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Again, very weird combo.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I got a corporate job as a digital advertising coordinator for the local newspaper, making minimum wage, but I thought that was like that was the goal, right?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: You like you get this corporate job, you get like a salary, a steady paycheck when reality I was bringing home maybe$2,000 a month.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And at this point, um, I had just gone through a natural disaster.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: I lost my home in Hurricane Sandy.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I um discovered that my husband uh had been having affairs for probably 10 years that we were together.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: That was 13 years that we were together at that point.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, over 20 women.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I was like, okay, uh, I don't really know where to go from here.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't really know.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um that was obviously the worst time of my life, and uh because I was at that that rock bottom, it really forced me to decide what I wanted the rest of my life to look like because the cool thing about having absolutely nothing is that you get to like build whatever.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, there were a lot of constraints with that, uh, because I was living in my the basement apartment of my mom's house with two kids and um I was waitressing, you know, what do you do to make money, right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I it I had this corporate job, I hated it, was waitressing.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And 10 years ago, um this year was when I walked out of that corporate job and I asked my mom, if I start my own business, can you like make sure?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can you just basically support me and the kids for a year?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, give me a year, mom.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I I know this sounds crazy, but also like they're business owners.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think they understood because I was a mess.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I was, I mean, I was I had a drinking problem any night that my kids were with their dad, I could not bear to like just be home alone.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd go out and party, um, spend any dollar I made.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started a social media agency because at this point, you know, 2016, people were not doing this for business yet, and I was just naturally good at it.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I started doing these things called free tip Fridays when Facebook just uh unveiled their Facebook Live feature.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I would go live from my basement apartment.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: We had a little like half window, and I would put post-it notes around my phone in the window, and I would start teaching all about social media strategy.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I branded myself as the social media queen.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was the one in Atlantic City and beyond.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: This led to running a social media agency, but also I got offered a position as a radio personality.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And now what people don't know about radio is you make zero dollars.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times you're paying for the airtime, you're brokering the airtime, and the only way you make money is by sponsorships and ads.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was brought into like a clusterfuck situation where I was like, I'm not in the position to be like working for free.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can't, and and it was just a lot of like conflict at this point.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: People people didn't understand what I was doing when really I was like, no, this is good for you if you're my client that I'll talk about you on air.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, people didn't get it at that point.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I still did it, and I got a client for social media.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it was a nightclub in one of the casinos.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he brought me in and he was like, Hey, are you also around on Saturday, Friday and Saturday nights?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, I I guess, yeah, why?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want me to like come and like get content of the nightclub?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I can do that.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to like get babysitters.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Well, we're starting this new show.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, it was like a weird legal thing because the owner of the club was like leasing it to the casino, so they needed representatives from his production company on site.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: So he really just wanted me to be there to manage the talent.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what managing the talent was.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I also didn't know that it was a male review show when I agreed to it.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so there I was, single mom, suddenly managing the talent of a bunch of male strippers and also um managing like the entire event, the entire show.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And hindsight, I was so frustrated.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, he's not telling me, I don't know what I'm doing.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, he's like, all right, check the box office numbers, all right, doors are at this time, you know, here's how to sell VIP booths, and the guy's gotta be there at this time, and you can leave after everybody leaves.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, all right, I'm gonna figure this out.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And two years later, I was producing, managing, and directing a live mail review show every weekend.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that is really where I learned so much about talent management and production of live events, and it like brought back something in me that I did not realize I was even missing, that like it activated that nine-year-old of the adrenaline rush that you get from a live production.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned I wrote a little bit about this in my book about how I learned more about managing talent, live production, respecting talent, developing them from working with hungry men who were just there to make money than I learned in any class, any college, because I was like their big sister.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this sounds weird to say, but I gave them respect.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think anybody else that they they were not used to being respected for the job that they did.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up leaving because there was, and I'm like laying it all out here on the air now, but like I would they would be like, Leslie, we didn't get paid for the last three weeks, and I realize it's like a pimp situation, and I catch myself like getting in a screaming match with like pimps, and I'm like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but I will say I am still friends with some of these guys.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Eight years later, I went on to get two of them booked in Halle Berry movies, and I I that was like my catapult into the talent management aspect because once I had that experience, I could do anything.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we had producers from New York come in one weekend that filmed a pilot of a reality show with them.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, this is what I want anybody listening to take away from this.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I've been talking for like 10 minutes now, but take the opportunities that don't make sense and just absorb it all.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I did.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, you know, fake it and be like, I know exactly what I'm doing.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what I said was, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna learn, I'm gonna ask questions when I have them, and I'm gonna treat people with respect.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And from that job, I ended up nailing a a talent manager or talent development.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: What was exactly my role?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Working with talent for ABC and Disney for their live uh parade that they've been doing for 107 years now.
• 19:28
  Mariah: Because of a male review show?
• 19:30
  Mariah: Like the extra yes, you would have never I've wanted to I always have so many comments to say.
• 19:38
  Mariah: Like you would never think that like those two things could piggyback off of each other.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I can wrangle cats, I can do anything.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: If I can handle male strippers, there's so much that goes into that.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's their ego, there's making sure they're not high.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if they are high, do I want to turn a blind eye to it?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are they still professional?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's making sure that they're, you know, there's crazy rules.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I bet.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're in a casino.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever been to a male review show, they like to do like acrobatics and flip these girls all over the place.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: But we had a rule, they could not bring them over their chest.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to be like, you know, in the back, I'm like, put them down.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can't.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, Brandon, drop the girl.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, drop, not like literally drop her, but like bring her down now.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Put her down right now.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, uh, you know, like it was that level of management.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then the flip side is making sure all of the women in that room were having the best night of their lives, managing the their experience as well, because I knew that was a responsibility.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Bachelorette parties, 21st birthday parties, and that generation.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: This makes me sound really old, but like they don't understand how to tip.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I would have to teach them, okay, you have if you want them to come over to you, you gotta stick a dollar bill in your boobs.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is how this works.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it was only like the aunts and the grandmas that were with them that understood.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they had 20s out, but I had to like manage all of these different things.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I was applying for these other positions, they knew that if I could do that, I could easily handle American Idol contestants and you know whoever else's cast of Disney X new TV show.
• 21:46
  Mariah: This season of the Curiously Guided Podcast, including this episode, is sponsored by Adobe Acrobat.
• 21:53
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• 23:01
  Mariah: Fucking fascinating.
• 23:03
  Mariah: Fascinating.
• 23:03
  Mariah: And I would say one of the biggest things that me and me and Shay really realized when we walked into your conference, like all of this makes so much sense.
• 23:10
  Mariah: And I agree with the people that have maybe known you forever, and they were like, every conversation, we're just learning something new.
• 23:15
  Mariah: I feel like me and Shay were keeping check, like a checklist in our head, and we're just like trying to figure out your order, like how the fuck did she get here?
• 23:22
  Mariah: And then it's like you would say something on stage, and like we'd look at each other, I'm like, where does that fit in?
• 23:27
  Mariah: And then it's like, and then how does this happen?
• 23:29
  Mariah: And then what do you mean?
• 23:30
  Mariah: Like it was just so interesting when you kind of like give these little breadcrumbs out, but you don't know kind of like the bigger story of how things work.
• 23:39
  Mariah: But when we walked in and like we're sitting there and you had like your your opening keynote on stage, we're looking around and we're just like, this is this is like a thing.
• 23:52
  Mariah: This isn't like a you're just sitting in a hotel conference room, like you had a sound guy, a video guy.
• 24:02
  Mariah: There was like videographers everywhere.
• 24:04
  Mariah: Like there was it was a production, yeah, truly.
• 24:08
  Mariah: And that was the first time.
• 24:10
  Mariah: Like we've gone to bigger conferences where it was like, you know, you see maybe somebody type thing, but like they the production team at your event was such a part of the event, it wasn't like a last thought, oh, this is what we have to do in order to get like recordings of these.
• 24:30
  Mariah: Like it was very much like showing us behind the scenes, which I feel like is incredible for attendees because so often we've gone to a bunch of business stuff.
• 24:41
  Mariah: We don't get to see it.
• 24:42
  Mariah: And I remember when I wanted to first start speaking, and I've done panels and like local stuff, and I was like, like, I've I always want to host my own thing.
• 24:50
  Mariah: That's the goal, host my own conference.
• 24:52
  Mariah: But even me speaking, I'm just like, I have no fucking idea about the production side, what I need, what I don't need, like how how to make a decision of where an event space should be based on like the equipment that are accessible, who I have to hire.
• 25:07
  Mariah: And so it's like you can tell that you knew what the fuck you were doing when you put it together.
• 25:14
  Mariah: And what I also think is really cool about your story, even when you were just a little kid, is like opportunities just fell into your lap.
• 25:22
  Mariah: Like you weren't sitting there, and I'm not saying that like you weren't applying for positions, but it seemed like you kind of stayed in your zone, did what you had to do, and like allowed the opportunities to come to you, which as a human that wants to be seen and wants to be noticed and wants to be heard, that's painful sometimes to be able to wait for opportunities.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I wanna I wanna just maybe shift this a little bit because I hear you, and this is what I I wrote a lot about this in my book of like taking opportunities that don't always make sense because you never know who you're gonna meet.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: And there's there's a fine dance that you do, and this is why I talk so much about strategic positioning for people who want to be on stages and want to be seen and want to be known.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a combination of not, you know, posting your media kit or your speaker page on your Instagram to being like, please book me, I'm available to book.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: I but like I that doesn't do anything for me.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: But if you show me doing it, then I, as the decision maker, am able to see, oh oh, she might fit in.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then like these are the thought processes that people have before you even know that they're talking about you.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be ready.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I scream from the fucking rooftops.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can't wait until you're ready to maybe start applying for things.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: You have to always be ready because I guarantee you, if you're showing up, they're already talking about you.
• 27:07
  Shay: I'm really blown away in your story.
• 27:09
  Shay: There was, like Mariah pointed out, just like several moments where someone, I'll call it universe, you can call it whatever you want, was like, you should do this.
• 27:18
  Shay: And those moments are really validating.
• 27:20
  Shay: And it's interesting to me that they've stuck with you because I think they were kind of reflection points or turning points of like this path that you're on.
• 27:28
  Shay: But what you said, A, don't tell me what to do.
• 27:31
  Shay: I Ryan, I talk about how to position this podcast a lot, and we've ended up with like people that are using curiosity to make decisions, but really the flip side of it is none of us want to be told what to do.
• 27:42
  Shay: And we've talked about that before.
• 27:43
  Shay: I was like, I think that's the common thread of everyone on this podcast.
• 27:46
  Shay: It's like we were told what we should do, and we're like, wait, no, I I think I want to do it my own way.
• 27:51
  Shay: And so I really appreciate you sharing that side of like it fits in well with like take the opportunities, right?
• 27:58
  Shay: So for you, you were really clear on like, okay, I know I don't want to be told what to do, but I'm not quite sure exactly what I do want to do.
• 28:06
  Shay: And so all we can do then is show up.
• 28:09
  Shay: What opportunity, what people are pointing at us and saying, this is for you right now.
• 28:13
  Shay: And then are we being, it's almost like improv, are we saying yes and right?
• 28:16
  Shay: Like, are we embracing the moment in detaching from outcome?
• 28:20
  Shay: Um, similar to what we shared on the episode about in-person events, a lot of this is you cannot control how all of this comes to being.
• 28:28
  Shay: All you can do is show up and play your part and let universe or whatever kind of um have this dance with you or this kind of like rhythm that you all make together.
• 28:37
  Shay: So I really relate to your story.
• 28:39
  Shay: I really love what you said about people not telling what you to do.
• 28:43
  Shay: But the part I'm curious about was you said you learned a lot about talent development from working.
• 28:48
  Shay: Can I call them strippers or is it males of youth?
• 28:51
  Shay: Yeah.
• 28:51
  Shay: Like I what I want to know what in particular did you learn about talent development and like how have you taken that into helping business owners on stage today?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I used a lot of my skills just as the oldest of five kids.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also did a brief stint like managing a cold stone creamery when I was pregnant with my my first, and that was all teenagers.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that they won't take offense to this if they, you know, ever come across this, but if you can direct and corral, you know, preteens and teenagers, it's the same thing.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's really leadership skills in a way that they understood we can have fun, we can joke, but if call time is this time and you're consistently not here, I will go find three other people.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I recognized that what they're doing is important.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think that they did not ever get respect.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Two of the guys that I had worked with that I ended up hiring for a couple shows, they are now lead characters in Vanderpump Rules.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I understood, I literally can I actually invited them to Everyday Celebrity.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, they were in LA, but that was gonna be like a fun surprise that I wanted to do was invite these, you know, Bravo celebrities now to the red carpet because now I have this network.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so back to your point, I think it was about treating them with respect.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: That is something that I just I will, you know, drive home consistently, is no matter what role somebody is in.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that I just learned on a, you know, that was reiterated on a movie set that I was on on Friday.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the lowest paid people in that room were the ones bitching.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: The the lead actors, Matt Bomber, it like I would have paid to sit there and watch him do his craft.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I got paid to be there.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: But like the cameraman carrying an 80-pound rig is not complaining that we're doing another take and it's hot.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're making$128 a day as a background actor and you're complaining, are we done yet?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is the difference.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why I talk so much about like the how you have to behave in these environments.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Kevin Jonas just said on a podcast, like, nobody is teaching these things.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to do.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: I want to show people that like if you're complaining, I will not have you back.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: I will not book you.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Speakers, if you're complaining, if you're rude to my team, if you're difficult, I don't care how many tickets you sold, you're I'll never have you back.
• 31:39
  Shay: I love that, and it's giving me flashbacks.
• 31:42
  Shay: I think one of my pivoting life moments, I had to teach.
• 31:45
  Shay: We taught in Taipei, my husband and I, I had to teach a class of 55-0, 16-year-old boys who did not speak English.
• 31:53
  Shay: And I do think that was like, it was one of the toughest things I've ever done, but it really helped me build my confidence.
• 32:00
  Shay: And it's what you're saying, you learn that it's respect, it's meeting them where they are, it's learning how to control a room and control energy and kind of like know where your power is and isn't right.
• 32:10
  Shay: So yeah, I'm laughing about like, oh yes, young men also really shaped me into the woman that I am.
• 32:16
  Mariah: And it's I am wondering how many of us have a similar well it's no, it's funny because you bring that up, and then I'm also reflecting on like what taught me these things.
• 32:28
  Mariah: And I worked at a preschool in daycare, and I was like an assistant teacher, and I was in like a room with oh god, sometimes there was like 15 two-year-olds, and then sometimes it was like 30 like school age kids.
• 32:43
  Mariah: And it was like you had to understand who you were talking to, and like I can't even explain how much these two-year-olds taught me because it was almost like they're two, like, what the hell do they know?
• 32:56
  Mariah: But it's like, no, if you understand where they're at, and you still, it's crazy.
• 33:01
  Mariah: Like you're saying, like teenagers or like males, like older adults, even two-year-olds, they sense like they are humans that like sense energy.
• 33:10
  Mariah: And I noticed that like the difference between me and some of the other teachers where the other teachers would have a hard time kind of like getting them all to listen.
• 33:18
  Mariah: Whereas like me, it's like I was very clear in talking to them, like they were like they could understand me and I respected them and their boundaries and what they needed.
• 33:27
  Mariah: And like, even as two, they needed to get the wiggles out.
• 33:29
  Mariah: It was like, cool, we're getting the wiggles out, and then we're going over here, and you guys are gonna sit down and we're gonna do a craft.
• 33:34
  Mariah: Like, I had to corral these little tiny babies that have been on this earth for no time at all.
• 33:40
  Mariah: And it taught me so much.
• 33:41
  Mariah: And so it's cool to see, I think, through all of our experiences that it's like humans are humans, and the thing that is consistent across all of it, regardless is like how you treat them and the boundaries that you have with them, but those boundaries come from me you.
• 34:00
  Mariah: If you don't have boundaries within yourself and you can't hold that for you, you're not gonna be able to hold it for other people.
• 34:10
  Mariah: So, do you think like that really showed up kind of in your story?
• 34:15
  Mariah: Like, have you had to work on boundaries, like that type of stuff?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's still something that I struggle with, and it's why I will always have some kind of coach that I work with, just because uh it's it's been my crypto my downfall.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: I can do it in certain settings, um, but I definitely still fall back, especially that's been like a core um female wound for me is holding boundaries with women.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: I can do it fine with men just because oldest, you know, I have four younger brothers, like that was not a problem for me.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to like female friendships, and you know, I've I've been in really bad business relationships with women, and it and it always ended up bad for me because I didn't have boundaries.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's something that I'm actually currently really, really working on.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, with that support of like, okay, I just sent my friend that asked to hire me.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just sent her my rates, and I know like she's probably gonna think I'm fucking crazy.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, she sees me as five years ago Leslie.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't see me as the Leslie that just headlined her own three-day event.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like those boundaries with the identity upgrades that you continue to have, it's it's always a work in progress for me.
• 35:38
  Mariah: Oh, I just got chills.
• 35:40
  Mariah: I feel like a lot of us can kind of resonate with that.
• 35:43
  Mariah: Like, I have friends that I have known forever, for since middle school.
• 35:49
  Mariah: And it's like, even in certain conversations, it's hard because I probably do the same thing to them.
• 35:55
  Mariah: Do you know what I mean?
• 35:56
  Mariah: Where it's like we're kind of looking at each other, where it's like we became best friends in middle school.
• 36:00
  Mariah: And it's like, but I'm not that girl anymore.
• 36:02
  Mariah: And I don't have my friends hiring me simply because they have no idea what I do on the internet.
• 36:08
  Mariah: But um, it's it's more so just like conversations.
• 36:11
  Mariah: And I think that identity piece that you're saying, where it's like as humans, especially, especially business owners, when you are running your own business, I will say this until I'm blue in the face.
• 36:21
  Mariah: This is a personal development project that I don't think any of us fucking signed up for, but that's what you have to do because it's really just like consistent mirrors being pointed back to you at all times.
• 36:33
  Mariah: And I believe that as a human, how we evolve and how we develop is through the relationships that we have.
• 36:38
  Mariah: And so the relationship that we have with our business is just multiplied through all of these different things.
• 36:43
  Mariah: The relationship that we have with money, with clients, with boundaries, with finance, like with every single aspect.
• 36:50
  Mariah: And it's like, it's hard when you have friends that have known you for so long and they still think that you're that person from five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago.
• 36:59
  Mariah: And it's almost like you want to sit them down and be like, no, this is who I am now.
• 37:02
  Mariah: But then it's like, no, but I want you to be able to see me in who I am now.
• 37:06
  Mariah: And now I'm thinking about it, I'm like, I'm probably doing the same thing to them.
• 37:09
  Mariah: Like, I'm making assumptions based on who they were 10 years ago, who they were five years ago.
• 37:16
  Mariah: And it's like, if we want to continue, like we say this so often in romantic relationships, where it's like, can we continue to grow together?
• 37:24
  Mariah: But I think, yeah, especially as females, because we're so like social and community focused, a little bit more than men, at least that's what I see with the men in my life.
• 37:38
  Mariah: I think that it's even more important for us to continue to do that with each other, because otherwise, then what happens?
• 37:45
  Mariah: We get resentful.
• 37:46
  Mariah: Like I can have a hard conversation with Shay 45 times easier than I can have a hard conversation with a friend that I've had for 20 years.
• 37:55
  Mariah: And you almost wouldn't think that that makes any sense.
• 37:58
  Mariah: But it's like me and Shay became friends as adults.
• 38:00
  Mariah: We understand each other's boundaries and all of that.
• 38:03
  Mariah: And I do think that there's just like this unique piece that we don't get to talk about a lot as women, but like as women business owners.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because our I go back and forth with like, is this something I need to work on or is this something I need to embrace?
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: That like my identity is so wrapped up with my business that I would take such personal insult to when my friends didn't understand all I wanted was their fucking support.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: And something that my husband and I had to like have knockdown drag out conversations about is like he'd be like, but I don't ask you to come to work with me.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you asking me?
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my, you don't understand.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is my entire life.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is everything to me.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, that sounds actually very unhealthy.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably talk to somebody about that.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: But like I expected, I placed expectations on my friends and family to support my business, and I had to drop that because they're never going to the way that a stranger or attendees of a conference would.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's something that I constantly have to converse have conversations with my team about.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: And with myself, when I am curating these experiences and who I want in the room and who maybe, as I am growing, as my brand is growing from five years ago, I was holding myself back because I was afraid I was leaving people in our community behind.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: But they had every opportunity to come with us and were dragging their heels.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I could not lead that experience that I just did if I if my hands were full of trying to drag people with me.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really, really hard because I I truly like had love for these people.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: The door is always open for them, but I could not do it for them.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I got caught up with like, why am I still broke?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm giving away all of my services because I wanted it so badly for these people that didn't want it bad enough for themselves.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I took it as like a personal attack, you know, that they didn't want that next level with me.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to like uncluster fuck all of that.
• 40:25
  Shay: Leslie, you're saying so many things I want to hear more about.
• 40:28
  Shay: So I apologize if this seems a bit scatterbrained.
• 40:31
  Shay: But you said something earlier about like this idea of is this something I need to work on versus is this something I need to embrace?
• 40:38
  Shay: And that has absolutely been my path as well.
• 40:41
  Shay: Just kind of untangling all these things that I thought were bad about myself could actually be superpowers.
• 40:48
  Shay: But also I'm human and I am not perfect, and there are things I need to work on.
• 40:52
  Shay: So I'm curious, like from your perspective, how do you navigate like that dynamic of is this something I should embrace about me and like stand proud in?
• 41:01
  Shay: Or is this like personal development time?
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I did go back to therapy recently, so I always feel like okay, just in case it's just in case it's me.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: I got all my basis.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I think we were talking about this before we started recording.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've had other small conversations about how I have taken all of these things that people always taught me were negative, and I did make them my superpower.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a lot of just self-reflection.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, we do like the mirror exercise.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not only like metaphorically looking at myself in the mirror, but I'm literally looking at myself in the mirror daily and deciding whatever it is that's in my head today that a story came up, or um, you know, I had a conversation with like a branding strategist recently because I want to rebrand a little bit.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, she told me you're not leading heavy enough into your psychic abilities and your intuitive and your healing side.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I get to decide is this something that is enough a part of me that I want to lead with it?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Does this make me who I am?
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it does actually.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: This does make me different than any other.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm like, I'm not a speaker coach.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so much more.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we constantly have to be reflecting and then just really developing our own discernment and intuitive muscles.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if we decide that it's not something we want to, you know, be a part of our story anymore, then we get to take control, we get to control the narrative on releasing that from the story.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, yeah.
• 42:49
  Shay: And in part two, then is it, you know, part one is know thyself, start with yourself, sit.
• 42:54
  Shay: Mariah and I, every single episode are like, are you sitting quietly with yourself?
• 42:57
  Shay: Are you listening to yourself?
• 42:58
  Shay: Are you giving yourself time?
• 42:59
  Shay: Right.
• 43:00
  Shay: So I do think it starts, it's another game.
• 43:02
  Shay: But then the second side is what you brought up earlier.
• 43:06
  Shay: A lot of us, including people I heard at the conference, are like, all right, I've done the work.
• 43:10
  Shay: I have this bigger vision for myself.
• 43:13
  Shay: I see it.
• 43:14
  Shay: I'm the person that books 40k clients.
• 43:17
  Shay: I'm the person that's seen on stage.
• 43:19
  Shay: Well, why do I still have all these old clients reaching out to me and wanting me to do work for$2,000?
• 43:25
  Shay: Like, how do like it's like I see the vision for myself, but now nobody else is seeing me like that.
• 43:30
  Shay: What what advice would you give someone who's like, how do I get other people to catch up to like see me as I want to be seen?
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's really fucking hard.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's really like to me, that has been the hardest part of my entire journey.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: Even my, excuse me, even my family, you know.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think Shay, on our our episode that I recorded with you when I said that like my stepdad's antique short store doesn't have like a website because he still sees me as like I don't know what he sees me as, but he's Sure as fuck doesn't see me as who I am now, you know?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think the only thing, and I swear I probably tell myself this every single day as I'm forcing myself to post on socials three times a day right now, is like if they don't, if I don't tell them, if I don't show them, they will not know.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we can't just like sit back and wait for someone to see us as the person who gets on stages and belongs here and there.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: We have to do it.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why I'm very open in saying, sometimes I paid to be on stages because I knew I belonged there, and I wasn't gonna sit and wait for someone to pick me.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna put myself where I belonged, where I knew I belonged, and let other people experience it, and then it takes off.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: You have like we have to take the reins, we can't just wait for those opportunities.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, the opportunities come, but there was also pre-work there and post-work of like saying yes to them and not chickening out either.
• 45:05
  Mariah: Yeah, I think there's so much of that.
• 45:07
  Mariah: And like in the conversation that we had about the in-person events, I kind of shared my perspective of that too, where it's like I showed up to your conference and people were like, I had somebody be like, Oh, like, are you a speaker here?
• 45:19
  Mariah: And I was like, Oh, like pee people see me as like the speaker at a conference.
• 45:25
  Mariah: Like, that's cool because I've been trying to like develop this for a while.
• 45:29
  Mariah: But in order for that to happen, I had to post photos of me speaking.
• 45:36
  Mariah: A lot of them were not paid.
• 45:37
  Mariah: I was not paid for them.
• 45:39
  Mariah: They were like local experiences where it's like I went and um taught workshops at like the local women's business center and like that type of thing, or it's like a local networking thing.
• 45:50
  Mariah: But I kept putting myself in rooms and opportunities where I would be a speaker and I had photos that's like this visual proof for me, but also for other people.
• 46:03
  Mariah: And now it's working.
• 46:05
  Mariah: But three years ago, before I started doing that, I was like, I was talking to Shay.
• 46:09
  Mariah: I was like, how do I become a speaker?
• 46:10
  Mariah: I'm gonna, I'm gonna join Toastmasters, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a speaker.
• 46:14
  Mariah: I'm I'm I'm speaker girl, and let's let's see what I have to do.
• 46:18
  Mariah: And then it was like, oh, bitch, it's really just like, how can you get yourself in the room to do the thing that you want to do, but do it on a smaller scale so it doesn't feel like everything's on the line.
• 46:32
  Mariah: Like I'm not going and pitching myself for a keynote talk at like some major conference right now when it's like, no, a panel feels really good or an interview feels really good, and just getting that experience doing it, and then posting photos for yourself, creating proof for yourself, because it's really like how you see yourself is how other people can start to see you too.
• 46:55
  Mariah: But exactly like you're saying, you have to tell them because imagine how many inputs we have as humans all the time.
• 47:04
  Mariah: Like, I don't remember.
• 47:06
  Mariah: I think that's the other thing is people think that, like, oh, I posted about it three times.
• 47:12
  Mariah: Girl, I don't even know what my mother posted about three times.
• 47:16
  Mariah: Like, I don't have, I don't remember these things.
• 47:19
  Mariah: We're getting overstimulated all the time.
• 47:21
  Mariah: If you want people to know you as that, you need to basically not shut the fuck up about it.
• 47:26
  Mariah: And you have to be so, you almost have to give yourself douche chills about it.
• 47:32
  Mariah: You're just like, I've I feel like a douche right now, and I'm gonna keep going because like this is what I want.
• 47:39
  Mariah: And then you cross a line where you're like, oh, now I'm confident in that, but it's almost so subtle that you don't realize it.
• 47:45
  Mariah: It's like you wake up the next day and you're like, wow, I don't have douche chills.
• 47:48
  Mariah: Like, this is actually me.
• 47:48
  Mariah: Like, what a gift.
• 47:50
  Mariah: But it's like you have to not shut up about it.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what you just said is the exact reason why I created my headliners week offer, which is like an in-person uh retreat media production combo.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not just gonna teach you how to do it.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're actually producing all of the assets.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're actually doing your talk in front of people, like the whole thing, because that's something that I saw as a huge, you know, major problem when I started booking speakers for my own conferences.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, holy fuck, they're really bad because they're trying out new material that they've only ever done for their cat before.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or they've never done this at all.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: And they like we're all comfortable behind our phones because we can choose to delete it.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to say we're all because I have all like a I work with a whole like cluster of people who that's their biggest fear is you know, face-to-camera stuff.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: But there's that category of people that are they're most likely influencers, they have hundreds of thousands of followers, and I put them on my stage and they crashed and burned because they didn't understand how hard it was.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't like people don't get it's hard until it's easy.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not feeling cringy, you're not going all in.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're not.
• 49:06
  Shay: Yeah, we started out this season with like uh basically what we want is at the top of cringe mountain, you know, like are you are you willing to climb it?
• 49:14
  Shay: And I think that's so true.
• 49:16
  Shay: But one thing that comes up a lot is this idea of like confidence gets built through proof.
• 49:21
  Shay: And I really like your event, Leslie, because like you're saying, and like you said with your speaker um kind of intensive, it's it's really tangible and tactical.
• 49:32
  Shay: Like every single speaker you had up there, there was some kind of like interaction opportunity.
• 49:37
  Shay: Like we were able to do an activity together, we were able to able to come up, like your event itself.
• 49:42
  Shay: I walk away with this library of assets that I didn't have before.
• 49:46
  Shay: And now people are seeing me this someone that walks the red carpet.
• 49:49
  Shay: I'm getting all these crazy messages on Instagram.
• 49:52
  Shay: So I really appreciated that about your approach in particular of the only way to do it, the obstacle is the way, right?
• 50:00
  Shay: There's only the only way to get comfortable speaking on stage or doing any of this stuff is through doing it.
• 50:06
  Shay: And so you're giving people a lot of proof, a lot of opportunities where they can look back and be like, oh, I've already done this.
• 50:12
  Shay: I've done this once, I can do it more.
• 50:14
  Shay: And that that that is how we build confidence over time.
• 50:17
  Shay: So I just wanted to reflect back.
• 50:19
  Shay: Like, I really appreciate it.
• 50:20
  Shay: I've never gone to an event where there's so many opportunities to like interact and really have like a tangible thing that I've done.
• 50:27
  Shay: It's usually just a lot of like getting lectured at.
• 50:30
  Shay: And I'm curious, and I'm seeing you design your programs that way too.
• 50:34
  Shay: So, like, tell me a little bit more about like where that came from and why you are so like practical in what you're delivering.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's multifaceted.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing I want to say is I caught a lot of shit for the price of my tickets.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, until you've hired a production team on the level that my and I I will be completely honest, I lost money on that event and I had to cut back on my AV at the last minute because I couldn't pay them.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: That like, no one will talk about that.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: I will talk about that.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like until you paid for that, but that I recognized is where people needed it.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: So creating that, those assets, that social proof, and also you guys experienced it, but you might not have even realized what was happening.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what I created was familiarity in the body.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because once your nervous system, your subconscious, all of the things that go come into play and tell us, oh, maybe this feels cringe, or this feels uncomfortable, or oh my God, everybody's staring at me.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: The more you do it, the less it feels like that.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: When your body knows what it feels like, when it's not a new scary thing, it becomes more natural.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the the organic, natural performance is my goal with anybody I work with always.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not creating robots.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck what word comes out of your mouth at the end of the day and where your foot is on the stage.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is to create uh a talent, create you as the talent, so embodied and so confident that whether you have five minutes or 50 minutes, you can go up there and be present and make eye contact with the audience and serve because your body knows you're comfortable with it, but also because you know your story and you know your message and you know exactly where you're gonna go with it with what you're given.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: All of that was so intentional and thank fucking God that it came across because that's also a big risk when you're like, okay, this is all that's in my head.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the only reason that happened was because I tried to do, I did do it three other times, and I take so much feedback, and I'm like, oh, that did not land.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't understand that.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like at my my Nashville conference, I got on a whole call with somebody, an attendee afterwards, and was like, I'm so disappointed.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_00: Don't put me in any of your photos.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: Cause if someone asks how this was, I'm gonna have to be honest with them and tell them that it sucked and I didn't get what I came for.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know, like, okay, now I want to vomit.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also going back to how do we receive these things, I can take her feedback into account that this is someone's a valid experience.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: And is this the complete truth?
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, she didn't understand this.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: I have to make sure next time I'm on stage that I really explain to people this is what you need to be looking out for because this is what we're about to show you for the next hour.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or did she just have a certain expectation that she created for herself and not open herself up to experience anything else?
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_00: Both can be true, and it's a lot of trial and error.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really glad that we finally figured that out.
• 54:03
  Shay: We we felt like I we I mean, we bought the VIP and we were like, this is such a great deal.
• 54:08
  Shay: And then especially afterwards, you know, it really was just so high value, and I have never seen it done that way.
• 54:14
  Shay: Um, so cool.
• 54:16
  Shay: And what I Ryan is gonna laugh at me.
• 54:18
  Shay: Did you see the movie Slum Dog Millionaire?
• 54:20
  Shay: Do you know that movie?
• 54:21
  Shay: A long time ago, but yeah.
• 54:23
  Shay: I bring it up all the time, but your story is reminding me of like you've had all of these like disparate events go on in your life, and you're just taking and learning, taking and learning and taking and learning.
• 54:34
  Shay: And now you're at a point where it's kind of all coming together.
• 54:37
  Shay: And I feel like you're like reaching peak form, which is so exciting to see.
• 54:42
  Shay: And to us, it seems like you've kind of landed in this space of to be honest, Leslie, every time you say the word talent development, Mariah and I are like, uh, what?
• 54:51
  Shay: Can you tell us more about that?
• 54:52
  Shay: So I'm curious, like, that's part of the reason we want you to come on today.
• 54:57
  Shay: Like, your world is talent development.
• 54:59
  Shay: Tell us what is that?
• 55:02
  Shay: Why should business owners like us care about that?
• 55:04
  Shay: Like, to be honest, at your conference, I haven't even really considered the opportunity that speaking or getting in front of people like this could bring my business or my career.
• 55:14
  Shay: I had just kind of thought, like, oh, speaking is for other people.
• 55:17
  Shay: I even have a background in speaking, and I was like, uh, it's not for me.
• 55:19
  Shay: What would I do that for?
• 55:21
  Shay: So I'm just curious, like, what is talent development?
• 55:23
  Shay: And then why should it be important for people I guess in the online space?
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have actually been really trying to make sure I'm defining this, just again, with that conversation with the brand strategist and then the copywriter of like what is on the the top of the website.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no one is searching talent development.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: That like, have you done keyword research?
• 55:44
  Mariah: Have you done keyword research?
• 55:46
  Mariah: We we can find some very little keyword phrases for you, girl.
• 55:48
  Mariah: Call me.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: I I've really put a lot of thought into this, but I could not allow myself to be pinned into speaker coaching.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why sometimes I say performance coach.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the concept of talent development I learned from uh just working with so many comedians.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_00: In addition to the male strippers, I also did entertainment PR for comedy troops.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that was like that was my beginning of the end.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'd never want to work with you crazy asses again.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I watched the way that they developed their talent.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_00: It is exactly what it what it is.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I use the example of uh an up-and-coming musical artist and a record label.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: Before they're get they're sent out on tour, before they cut a label, that record label is completely developing that artist as the talent.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: They are putting them through media training, they are putting them through voice lessons, yes, even though they're a singer, like you used every other like industry understands that you have to still fucking work at your craft.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: And for some reason, entrepreneurs, there's like this weird ego thing where we think we're good enough already.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe we are, and I sound like a complete asshole saying that.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: But like I'm always working, I work with speaker coaches.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the what separates the the top 30 speakers that we're seeing on every fucking Instagram graphic at every conference, they're just not telling you, but their talent is being developed.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: I had someone on my stage that paid$40,000 to be speaker trained, keynote speaker trained, and she still lost her fucking mind because we had to change microphones last minute.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: So they trained her on the skill, but they didn't train her on the environment and how to act.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_00: And she is someone that I will never have at my events again.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what kind of again, I don't care how many tickets she's whatever.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's just an example of the holistic um what talent development is is the bottom line is if you if you are the face of your brand, you're the talent.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_00: We have to start seeing ourselves like that.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you represent the way you, if if your face and how you show up is in charge of the money in your bank account, you need to treat yourself as the talent in in every way, shape, and form.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that is kind of like my hill that I die on.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: And only because I kept seeing it, I was like in these worlds, in these environments with these celebrities and the and the talent.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would go to like women entrepreneur events and host my own.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, ah, okay, here's a problem, I'll solve it.
• 58:46
  Mariah: You know, you know what's funny is that I've worked with quite a few keynote speakers on their on their SEO and their website and stuff like that.
• 58:54
  Mariah: And they have a confidence in who they are when they speak.
• 59:02
  Mariah: They are so embodied and like they're so sure of themselves.
• 59:09
  Mariah: And it's interesting because me and you come from different worlds, right?
• 59:12
  Mariah: And so when I see entrepreneurs and I'm having conversations behind the scenes, I see the opposite.
• 59:19
  Mariah: I see people being like, I don't have anything to say.
• 59:21
  Mariah: I'm not confident in my voice.
• 59:24
  Mariah: Why would I be on stage?
• 59:25
  Mariah: What like what am I gonna share?
• 59:26
  Mariah: I just help people with copywriting.
• 59:29
  Mariah: You know what I mean?
• 59:30
  Mariah: Where it's really like this, they almost don't think that their perspective is good enough, different enough, valid enough.
• 59:39
  Mariah: They kind of feel like I'm not bringing anything new to my industry.
• 59:42
  Mariah: What do you mean?
• 59:43
  Mariah: And now I have to post my face everywhere.
• 59:46
  Mariah: And so they hold themselves back, but I see the same thing.
• 59:50
  Mariah: So, like for SEO, and like I'm on YouTube and like, listen, give me the mic.
• 59:54
  Mariah: I got some shit to say, like that type of thing.
• 59:56
  Mariah: And that's very much like where I am now.
• 59:59
  Mariah: But a lot of the times people are like, Well, I I want to hang out behind the screen and I just want to make like enough money to where like it feels pretty good, but then you're in conversations with them, and they're like, Oh, it would be it would be cool to maybe like be on stage, or like it would be cool to like get on more podcasts, and then it's you start this conversation where it's like, well, why aren't you?
• 1:00:19
  Mariah: And they're just like, Well, uh, I don't really know like what to do or or what to say.
• 1:00:24
  Mariah: So it's it's interesting how me and you have kind of like these different perspectives and the conversations that we're having.
• 1:00:30
  Mariah: And maybe it's because I work at SEO, which is very um introvert friendly, very behind the scenes friendly until now with AI and shit like that.
• 1:00:42
  Mariah: It's kind of like if you want to be heard, brand authority is a very big thing.
• 1:00:47
  Mariah: It's getting backlinked, it's getting like social media now influences your SEO, which, like, to be honest, thank God, because before it was siloed and now it's actually doing something for you.
• 1:00:56
  Mariah: But it's like if you want to stand out in this age of AI, like podcasting or YouTubing and showing your face and personifying yourself, not just showing your thumbnail picture or your headshot, speaking, letting people feel you and letting that translate into the words in your blog post, on your website, on your about page, and having all of that kind of trickle together is such a fucking game changer because we're in a trust recession.
• 1:01:25
  Mariah: People don't trust people as easily and as quickly.
• 1:01:28
  Mariah: What's the quickest way to build trust?
• 1:01:30
  Mariah: To see somebody speaking, to feel their energy, to watch them either on stage or in person or have a conversation.
• 1:01:36
  Mariah: And so it's like I see people fall I don't want to like falling behind, but it's not that they're behind, it's like keeping themselves hidden.
• 1:01:48
  Mariah: Yes.
• 1:01:49
  Mariah: Because they they don't have confidence that they have a unique perspective.
• 1:01:53
  Mariah: Do you do you see that?
• 1:01:55
  Mariah: Like, what are what are your thoughts on that?
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's two different avatars, and this has been the hardest fucking thing for me to build my website and like work on all of that stuff because it's two very different avatars, and the last year was a lot of me on the back end deciding who do I want to work with, who do I want to speak with?
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because being completely transparent, the the avatar that you're talking about does not believe in themselves enough to invest and pay my rates, they don't believe that they're worthy of it.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to do so much pre-work.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I am a naturally motivational person.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_00: And every sales coach has told me you gotta stop being so motivational because you're speaking to people that will never move.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so hard for me because that's who I naturally speak to.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_00: But also, if I want to pay my bills, I have to also speak to that other avatar.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's something I've been it, it's it's been a dance because to me, the the event is really speaking to that avatar.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to actually say, like, get out of their wallets.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: What why why am I telling them already I'm making these preconceived notions of what they can and can't afford or how they will or will not invest in themselves?
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to lead and present the opportunity and show them what they're capable of.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I think I'm really, really, really good at naturally, especially with my clairvoyance.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can literally see in my mind's eye these next steps for these people.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to go and be like, why am I constantly fighting the egos of the people that don't want help?
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a big shift that I have made.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: So like I still will work with people who want to refine their craft and get better, but I also will work with the people who who know, you know, when when you put your head down on your pillow at night and you're just like, I know that there's something more for me.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wouldn't that be so cool.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_00: It terrifies the shit out of me.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like it gives me a panic attack, but what if?
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_00: And my job is to take them from that terrified what if state to holy shit, I did it.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_00: This feels so cool.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do it every single day for the rest of my life.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's both are are valid, and I think that's why I I talked about like the introverts at the conference.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love you and I understand you gotta get over it because people need you.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like a, you know, like, oh no, I shouldn't, I shouldn't put myself out there.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, like it's my whole take on being humble.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, fuck humble.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you are humble, nobody's gonna know who the hell you are.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be out there.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_00: You have to let people see you and experience you because you don't know.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what service or product you have, it can impact somebody's life.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: You have to share it.
• 1:04:59
  Shay: I Leslie, I like am shocked to hear a sales coach would tell you to be less motivational.
• 1:05:06
  Shay: Because I will say that, like, after hearing your well, A, stay out of people's wallets is such good advice.
• 1:05:12
  Shay: That is something that we are all plagued with, and that is really you do not know how people value things, what they're prioritizing.
• 1:05:19
  Shay: And I'm almost seeing your target customers, they're at like different parts of their journey, right?
• 1:05:24
  Shay: Like, yeah, the person, the first person we described, it's they need the dream woken up.
• 1:05:28
  Shay: Like you woke that dream up in me, just seeing you and how and honestly, Lizzy, you telling me, Hey, I see talent in you was like the wake-up call.
• 1:05:36
  Shay: And I'm thinking, like, back in your story, you had people who like saw it in you, and that like kind of woke you up.
• 1:05:41
  Shay: And so when you did that to me and to other people, I I see that as like your superpower, right?
• 1:05:46
  Shay: So I really love I I I had chills while you're talking.
• 1:05:49
  Shay: I was like, oh my God, her motivational power is like that's it for me.
• 1:05:54
  Shay: That's the juice.
• 1:05:55
  Shay: So um I I love that you a wake people's dream up, but then the other thing I'm reflecting.
• 1:06:00
  Shay: On is we talked about this on our last call.
• 1:06:02
  Shay: I am also a creative and I am working with creatives a lot.
• 1:06:05
  Shay: And I really resonate with this idea of like, we do have ego.
• 1:06:10
  Shay: And it can be like a management thing, balancing ego and talent.
• 1:06:16
  Shay: And but I do think we all have this like, I know I'm meant for more.
• 1:06:20
  Shay: I know that I have talent, but I'm in my own jar and I can't read the label on the outside.
• 1:06:26
  Shay: Right.
• 1:06:27
  Shay: And so, like you saying, like, hey, I see your talent and I think there's something we can do with this.
• 1:06:31
  Shay: That to me, I was like, oh yeah, yeah, like that got me fired up.
• 1:06:36
  Shay: So I just want to reflect back to you.
• 1:06:38
  Shay: Like, thank you so much for sharing.
• 1:06:41
  Shay: I think we all struggle with this.
• 1:06:42
  Shay: We're all curious people.
• 1:06:44
  Shay: We're trying to create something new that doesn't exist yet.
• 1:06:47
  Shay: And so, like, yeah, the what goes at the top of the website is really fucking hard.
• 1:06:51
  Shay: There's no template to base it off of.
• 1:06:53
  Shay: And we're trying to learn our target customer, and and maybe we're trying to be perceived a little bit differently than we were in the past.
• 1:06:59
  Shay: So I really appreciate, I just want to reflect this back to you.
• 1:07:02
  Shay: You are very transparent.
• 1:07:04
  Shay: During the conference, there were several moments where you like shared just like real things about your life and your business.
• 1:07:11
  Shay: And even right now, like you're you're sharing with us, like, hey, I'm working on my business, I'm I'm developing my new position, but I'm not quite locked in on it yet.
• 1:07:20
  Shay: It's still simmering.
• 1:07:21
  Shay: And I think that's awesome and wonderful because how often are we just hit with like the entrepreneur who knows everything, who has it all figured out?
• 1:07:28
  Shay: So I just want to say thank you.
• 1:07:30
  Shay: I understand that it's hard to work with creatives.
• 1:07:31
  Shay: I'm a creative, you're creative, right?
• 1:07:33
  Shay: And I just think your magic is really special.
• 1:07:36
  Shay: And like you have absolutely woken up something in Mariah and I through your conference, and and you're the shit.
• 1:07:42
  Shay: So I I just want to say, don't stop being motivational.
• 1:07:44
  Shay: I love your triple Leo or whatever it is.
• 1:07:46
  Shay: Like we're all out here sipping that energy off.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you so much for reflecting that back because I think we we all need to be reflected.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we all need to, especially as someone who shines really bright.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like we need someone to shine that light back at us sometimes and be like, and and that is why you exactly what you said, because people have done that to me and still continue to to me.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's what like you guys are doing to me.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I owe it.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like anytime I'm like, oh, I shouldn't say that.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, actually, I'll give you an example.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_00: I did social media for a local restaurant, uh, breakfast restaurant.
• 1:08:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now the owner, he's like a juice head, like just like beefcake, doesn't believe in any of my woo-woo shit.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I had a vision.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, he's gonna think I'm fucking crazy.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna text him.
• 1:08:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Are you opening another restaurant here?
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, shut the fuck up.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Oh, am I right?
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_00: Am I right?
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh huh.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not that crazy.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I think just like giving myself permission to trust those nudges and those visions and communicate when I see something for somebody, because you never know.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, I if if this event didn't go well, I was probably packing it up.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was probably gonna be like, you know what, this is not the way.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_00: And another thing I want to just say in in relation to like vulnerability, because this is something that people are really terrified of.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had instances where someone said, I didn't want that printed, or I didn't want that.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_00: You are in control of everything that comes out of your mouth or that you type.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't get it twisted.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in full control of the narrative that I'm putting out on this podcast and everywhere I show up.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna share something that I don't want to.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I tell people, like, if if you don't, and I think I told you on on our like one of our pre-production calls, like, if you don't want this printed somewhere, don't say it.
• 1:09:58
  SPEAKER_00: You have to understand that when it goes out there, it's there forever.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is something we see celebrities get tripped up in all the time.
• 1:10:07
  SPEAKER_00: They want to go out and let loose, and there's pictures.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you have to understand that when you make the decision to be vulnerable, there are consequences, but it's also why you have to have such an embodied um aura and really know how to receive the consequences of visibility too.
• 1:10:29
  Mariah: I think that's the horrifying part, right?
• 1:10:31
  Mariah: Because like I have this has always been like uh one of my like fears is like just like being misunderstood.
• 1:10:42
  Mariah: But that's just what comes from being visible.
• 1:10:46
  Mariah: Like, I'm going to be misunderstood.
• 1:10:48
  Mariah: Even when I put out YouTube videos, I started my YouTube channel in 2017, and I remember being so horrified that I literally, my first video, I wouldn't even show my face.
• 1:10:57
  Mariah: You heard like my little early 20s voice, I was cracking, and I'm just like, uh and like thank God she did it.
• 1:11:04
  Mariah: You know what I mean?
• 1:11:04
  Mariah: And like you grow and you grow this confidence, but like that fear hasn't gone anywhere.
• 1:11:11
  Mariah: Half the time, like when me and Shay first started this podcast, I would refuse to record an episode unless I basically had a script because I was so afraid to go off the cuff and be misunderstood.
• 1:11:28
  Mariah: And I think that it's interesting, and maybe you can relate to this, but it's like people tell me like my voice is confident.
• 1:11:35
  Mariah: When I when I speak, I sound confident.
• 1:11:37
  Mariah: And Leslie, you like you have that too.
• 1:11:39
  Mariah: When you speak, you sound confident.
• 1:11:42
  Mariah: And it's almost like I had to work on like what that means, and all of it that brings with it is like if I sound confident, people are going to project different things onto me.
• 1:11:55
  Mariah: And I have to be okay with being misunderstood.
• 1:11:59
  Mariah: Otherwise, I'm gonna hold myself back.
• 1:12:02
  Mariah: And so it's like there's always like these two sides to the coin of just like, well, what are we balancing with this?
• 1:12:07
  Mariah: And are we okay with it?
• 1:12:09
  Mariah: But with come like with confidence in your voice also comes, like you just said, responsibility.
• 1:12:15
  Mariah: You have to be responsible.
• 1:12:17
  Mariah: Like when I was in high school on that, I was also too confident in my fucking voice, way too confident.
• 1:12:22
  Mariah: I would say some things to people that were not fantastic.
• 1:12:25
  Mariah: I have some horror stories, and it's like, and they would bite me in the ass.
• 1:12:29
  Mariah: And so that followed me into being a business owner, being public, being on YouTube, being on podcasts, having a podcast.
• 1:12:35
  Mariah: It's like now it's proof on the internet that these used to be my thoughts.
• 1:12:40
  Mariah: This used to be the way that I think about things.
• 1:12:44
  Mariah: But like, I feel like would, and you can explain your perspective too, but like to me, what's been really balancing to that is like we're all just fucking humans showing up and trying to be humans.
• 1:12:56
  Mariah: And it's like really remembering that like when you hear somebody speak, you're only hearing like one small percentage of their brain, and like there's so much more nuance that happens to it, but social media fucks that up.
• 1:13:07
  Mariah: Social media is not a place for nuance, and so it's hard.
• 1:13:10
  Mariah: It's hard to be visible.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is a hundred percent.
• 1:13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that I coach people into deciding what to share and what not to share is what is the intention of the conversation?
• 1:13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of people, once they realize like I have a story to tell and I want to share it, it becomes like trauma dumping and and crafting a keynote or crafting a story or positioning yourself is has to be so intentional because if that story does not relate to the outcome that you're providing for your audience, nobody gives a shit.
• 1:13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't deserve to be out.
• 1:13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say it doesn't deserve to be out there, but like it's not the time and the place.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So like I remember I shared something insanely vulnerable from that stage, and I had to really think about beforehand what was the point of me sharing this.
• 1:14:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's it wasn't to just make people feel like, oh, I'm relatable, and because relatability could is controversial, like it could or could not sell.
• 1:14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That can help me or hurt me.
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you all see me as your bestie, you're gonna have trouble paying me a certain amount, you know what I mean?
• 1:14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really had to think about if I'm gonna share that I did this thing, what is the lesson?
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_00: How am I tying up that sentence, wrapping up that that conversation in a way, you know, that's why I say like people will always find new things out about me because I make sure that it's relevant to the story.
• 1:14:41
  SPEAKER_00: We talked a lot about the male strippers, which is only two years of my life, but it's it was very relevant for how we were creating the story and how we were helping your audience, everybody listening now, to understand the the end result of why I do what I do.
• 1:15:02
  Shay: I really love this point because I think we're living right now, especially in this like yap challenge era, and be vulnerable and get on and just say something.
• 1:15:12
  Shay: And in your that's that's not how we're arrested for success.
• 1:15:17
  Shay: Yeah, and to your point, if you're saying something without it attached to a bigger goal or a bigger point, it it can maybe backfire or maybe not work out in the way that you intended.
• 1:15:27
  Shay: So I really like what you're saying of yes, vulnerability with intention or with mindfulness, right?
• 1:15:32
  Shay: Like, why are you being vulnerable?
• 1:15:34
  Shay: Is it for a purpose?
• 1:15:35
  Shay: Is it related to the audience and the point you're trying to make?
• 1:15:38
  Shay: I think that's like a nuance about all of this, like, yeah, just get on and yap kind of stuff.
• 1:15:43
  Shay: And you're to your point, Lizzie, you're so right.
• 1:15:45
  Shay: Like we all have something to say, but it does need to be crafted and like organized and structured.
• 1:15:51
  Shay: And it's when you're in, like I said, when you're in your own jar, you're kind of like, it's difficult to sort through the mess.
• 1:15:56
  Shay: So I can absolutely see like having someone on the outside like come in and help you refine and like crystallize and pull it all together would be so helpful.
• 1:16:05
  Shay: But we're unfortunately running up to the end of our time that we have with you, which I'm shocked about.
• 1:16:09
  Shay: But um, before we have to hop off, I I'm sure there are so many people listening to this episode, like they're getting woken up and they're kind of curious.
• 1:16:18
  Shay: Like, what?
• 1:16:19
  Shay: How do I find out more about this?
• 1:16:20
  Shay: How can people find you or start to interact with you and follow along?
• 1:16:24
  SPEAKER_00: The best way where I'm most active is on Instagram.
• 1:16:28
  SPEAKER_00: My last name is all ease.
• 1:16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So when you type out Leslie Jesperson, my last name is S-E-N.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always have to clarify that.
• 1:16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that's where I'm I'm active every single day.
• 1:16:40
  SPEAKER_00: The website's still being updated a little bit, um, but it's there.
• 1:16:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can always find me, but but Instagram is is the uh the top one.
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also have theeverydayselebrity.com, which is where you can find out about events.
• 1:16:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have a really cool magazine that is published both in print and online quarterly, and um, we have like a community that you can join, and that is where you can get on the launch team for my book that is coming out soon.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_00: When you join the launch team, you get like behind-the-scenes access, you get discounted stuff.
• 1:17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm gonna be doing like a free um uh a three-hour kind of like boot camp uh that will be paid for other people.
• 1:17:26
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're on my launch team, it's free.
• 1:17:29
  Mariah: Awesome.
• 1:17:29
  Mariah: We're gonna put the links to all of that.
• 1:17:31
  Mariah: And guys, I literally like if you didn't listen to our conversation about the in-person events where we were we were really gassing up Leslie's event um and some other ones, but Leslie's was the one that we were like most previously on.
• 1:17:46
  Mariah: Go and listen to that.
• 1:17:47
  Mariah: Leslie, like, I know Shay was already gassing you up, and I've probably said this already, but like we chose your conference because it was so fucking different, and you brought something to the online business space that is not a thing yet.
• 1:18:03
  Mariah: And I know that you said that this was an event that you were kind of like, if this didn't work out, I don't know if I'm gonna no, bitch, do it.
• 1:18:09
  Mariah: And we need this to get more visible because like the entrepreneur in the online business space is what needs this.
• 1:18:16
  Mariah: They need that confident building and that you probably want this to get very big, obviously, but like that intimate room, there was so much magic in like the small space that we were able to hang out in.
• 1:18:31
  Mariah: And like most people in the audience, like were able to get up on stage and use a mic and like at a conference, that is not a normal thing.
• 1:18:42
  Mariah: And so I just wanted to reflect back like how fucking cool and different it was.
• 1:18:47
  Mariah: And I'm even telling my clients this like after we set up an SEO foundation, the next step is PR.
• 1:18:54
  Mariah: And people freak out about that.
• 1:18:56
  Mariah: I don't know what to say, I don't know how to say it, I don't know what I want to be known for, like that type of situation.
• 1:19:02
  Mariah: And I feel like that different forms of media, getting yourself on podcasts, TV interviews, like, and being able to DIY it versus like having to hire like a huge PR agency or that type of thing.
• 1:19:16
  Mariah: I think that is going to be such a unique need in this industry that I would be very sad if you never held that event again.
• 1:19:25
  SPEAKER_00: I told I went after the first day, I went home and I was like, I alright, I gotta do this again.
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let me look at when the next uh you know eclipse in Leo is and what the dates are.
• 1:19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was I'm crazy.
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all right again.
• 1:19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Fine.
• 1:19:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's yeah, it was a 10 ticket sell already from the pre-sale.
• 1:19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:19:46
  Mariah: Of course you did.
• 1:19:47
  Mariah: Of course you did, because like the photos are so good.
• 1:19:50
  Mariah: Like the level of production, like I know that this isn't like a podcast just like Gas and Yua, but like it really was extremely unique.
• 1:20:01
  Mariah: And we need more of that because all of the other business owner.
• 1:20:04
  Mariah: Listen, I got friends that host conferences and they're fine.
• 1:20:07
  Mariah: I've been to some of them, I've heard of other ones.
• 1:20:11
  Mariah: They all sound pretty similar.
• 1:20:14
  Mariah: Ra rah shishkumba.
• 1:20:16
  Mariah: You know what I mean?
• 1:20:17
  Mariah: Like we're empowering and we're inspirational, we're motivational, and here's here's the talk about blah, blah, blah, and let's yada yada.
• 1:20:25
  Mariah: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:20:25
  Mariah: And I'm yours was so fucking different.
• 1:20:27
  Mariah: That's why we wanted to come to it.
• 1:20:30
  Mariah: So we're excited to hear that you're having another one.
• 1:20:33
  Mariah: We will put all of the links so that people can find out about your genius, about what you do, learn about the events and all of that in the show notes before.
• 1:20:42
  Mariah: But before we let you go, we do actually have one more question.
• 1:20:46
  Mariah: So, what has been sparking your curiosity lately?
• 1:20:49
  Mariah: Business related, life related, we we ain't got no box.
• 1:20:53
  Mariah: This has got to fit in.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Something that's been sparking my curiosity is what my routine can look like.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I just made like a big uh life transition with my baby starting high school yesterday, actually.
• 1:21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is like a whole new life for me because I was, you know, doing pickup and drop-off, and now everything's bust, and now, you know, I'm just not needed as much in the mom capacity.
• 1:21:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really playing around with like what does that mean for my business?
• 1:21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to start a fucking hobby?
• 1:21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I like I just what do I want to?
• 1:21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna go, you know?
• 1:21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I the world is my oyster, and I'm I'm curious about what that looks like for me at 41.
• 1:21:47
  Mariah: I love that.
• 1:21:48
  Mariah: I feel like time like time freedom is it's what we get when we join this entrepreneurship space.
• 1:21:54
  Mariah: If you take the time to self-reflect and allow yourself to be curious, and I love that.
• 1:21:59
  Mariah: Okay, so we're gonna put all of the links so you guys can connect with Leslie in the show notes below, but I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:22:07
  Mariah: So remember, friends, that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:22:11
  Mariah: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:22:16
  Mariah: We'll see you in the next episode.