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SMNTY Classics: Gynecology and Gender · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sanny and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: A Hope of stuff I never told you Protection by
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Heart Radio, and today we're bringing back a classic As
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: I am trying to find a primary care provider. Something
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: you alerted to alerted me to, Samantha, was about how
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: you can use an obgyn as your primary care provider.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: And this whole process is taking me longer than I
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: thought it would because I do want a woman and
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: we did talk about that in our episode about guidecology
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: and women and gender, and it's just been a whole
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: thing to go through this and to find the person
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: because you wanted to be the person you're comfortable with,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: right And I haven't had much luck to be honest
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: with you, but I'm still hopeful and determined. I have
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: somebody I think is the one, but I'm through systematic issues,
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: technological issues. I'm having trouble getting getting in touch with them,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: but hopefully so close. Yeah, get it close. But in
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: the meantime, please enjoy this classic episode. Hey, this is
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Anny and Samantha. I'm at my stuff. I've never told
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: your production of iHeartRadio.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And welcome to another Monday mini where I just talk
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: about personal things.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Excellent, Get wait for that any I don't know, am I.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: That's a great question. Beforehand, I am going to put
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: this trigger warn I am going to talk about sexual
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: abuse a little bit, and we're going to just talk
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: about like you know, rus, vagina, all those things. So
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: if you don't want that to be talked about in public,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: or you don't want to have it out loud, you
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: might want to pass by this one indoor, save it
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: for a private moment or in your air pods. I
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: don't know any of those things, because you know this week.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Last week, I realized that my IUD is overdue. So
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: essentially I've hit my five year mark with the Kylina
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and I am not being sponsored by any of these
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: right now. Just FYI, we've had many episodes about iud's
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: on here. Well, you've talked about it personally. I've talked
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: about it personally. I know previous hosts Carolina and Kristen
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: talked about it. Caroline talked about her experience and they
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: actually shared my experience too, which was hilarious because we
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: had very different reactions to it. My first experience with
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: ID was so simple that I went running that same
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: day because I did it did not bother me. I
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: still had a lot to do with like your pain,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: your period pains in general, and I grew up with
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: really bad period pains. So when getting that IUD, I
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: was like, uh, okay, cool. I will say when I
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: got my IUD in, my guy to colleges, who is
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: a woman, played it off really easily, was like, yeah,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you'll be fine, because I was like, I heard these
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: following things in which co host Caroline at the time
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: talked about it on here that she threw up and
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: she saw spots and she had this really painful experience
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: versus myself, who I was like, yeah, that's fine, okay.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: She literally was like, you want to take some ibuprofen.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Here's a little local anesthetic and done. And it pinched,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: and I moved on getting it removed because right as
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: the Trump administration came in, it was kind of on
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: the edge of like, this is the time I was
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: supposed to get it taken out, and she was like, well,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you know, technically the ID I had previously the morena
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: couldn't last up to seven years, so she's like, you
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: could wait, and I was like, but it's the Trump administration,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what's going to happen and what's
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: going to be no longer allowed or banned. So I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: was like, let's go ahead and change. It's five years,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: let's go ahead and change it. And so I got
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: my new one. So I've now hit my five year mark.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Since then, Yeah, it was around that time it was happening.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Things were happening. Rovy Wade was looking really precarious. We
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: were all like, oh my god, Oh my god. So
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I got it changed, and now I've hit my five
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: year mark, and I'm like, okay, let's go back, and
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I've kept essentially the same guycologist. I really liked her.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: She was a younger, non white person as mycologists. Again,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: like I said, her reactions to like, oh you'll be fine,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: these are the things. And that was when I was
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: initially back and getting a new one. It pulled. It hurt.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Actually getting it changed out hurt a lot more than
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: either one. Getting used to it hurt a lot more
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: because it cou'd be like six months to get used
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: to it. So like, getting past those marks were a
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: big deal. And I understand like people like I don't
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: want to do this, and I get that. Getting past
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: that has been amazing because I've not had a period
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: in like ten years, and I am not unhappy about it.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Every now and again, I get the phantom pains PMS
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: period pains that I'm like, oh, oh, why is this?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Because it's not accompanied by actual period blood or blood,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I don't realize what it is, but I'm like, oh,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: but these are the symptoms. I do remember this, and
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: recently it's gotten a little worse, and I'm wondering it's
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: because I'm at the end of this IUD period, I
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: like expiration, and so I'm starting to feel a little
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: more pains. Isn't still no bleeding, So I'm thinking okay.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But with all of that comes the horror in my
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: mind of like, what if it's traveled. What is one
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: of those things that has gone into the wrong place.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It's gone into my uterus, and I'm really, really this
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: is going to be bad trying to get it out.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: What if I'm pregnant and it's an ectopic pregnancy, And
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: because of the laws in the state of Georgia, I'm
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: because they won't let me do what I need to
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: do and think they're going to like replant it or something,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: which is a misconception and not possible. I know, I'm
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: speaking to the like I'm speaking to our audience, so
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: they know I know. But just just in case people
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: were confused, that's not a thing. But all of that
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: is saying is like, it's time for me to go.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Last time, when I went to see my gotten to colleges,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: she had an intern, someone in med school that was
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: shadowing her. It ended up being a man, and I
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: didn't love that. But because I don't know how to
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: voice anything, and as secure as I seem and as
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: like bold as I seem, I'm very insecure and I
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: don't want to rock the boat. So he came in
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: with her and she's like, is this okay? And I
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, okay, And I again was not
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: a huge fan of this. But he did some of
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: the examinations and he was fine. But for many of
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: us who have gone through trauma with men, didn't love this.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I like, it's like see it in the back of
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: my head of like, oh my god, this is awful.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I did not want this. Next go round, I ended
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: up going seeing the kind of cologists my regular one
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: was not available, so I saw a different woman. But
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: they initially tried to give me a man, and I
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, that's the one thing I
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: don't want. Please don't give me man. I had a
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: different young woman. She was fantastic. It didn't have any issues.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: She was confused because I essentially used my gynecologist as
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: my primary care position, because I'm like, oh, I didn't
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: realize I could do that. Okay, this makes it easier
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to go to ten different appointments
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: for all the different things. I went in with her
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: for a wellness check. Everything was fine this time around.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I was also ready to go, and they were like,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: can you come in today? We have a doctor soul
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: and so I was like wait because the name was
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: like generic enough that sometimes it's used for women. I
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: know this, and I was like, is that a man?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Like I had to officially ask. She's like yes, and
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, no, I would rather be like
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable with that. I'd rather a woman. I'd rather
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: this person that I've known. She's not available for a
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: while because she's now popular and very very booked, and
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: she's like, well, the next available appointment is in two months,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: three months, And I was like, good god, what I'm like, Okay, well,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: just so you know, I need a new IUD. I'm
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: having some weird symptoms. I'm a little worried and like
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: all these things. She's like, Okay, well we'll put you
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: in for cancelations, YadA, YadA, YadA, and which made me
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: really think about the fact that there's a chunk of
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: us and this is historically and factually understood that women
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: typically prefer to have other women physicians for gynocologists, that's
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: been the statistics as in fact, here's what health careers
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: dot Com says, is impossible to ignore the fact that
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: many women want a woman practitioner. Says one doctor that
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: that's because they feel most of the female physicians are
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: more empathetic. Sometimes it is for comfort levels, since patients
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: are in a vulnerable position during a pelvic exam. Lastly,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: an exam may be gentler since most women have smaller
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: hands than their male counterparts. The preference for a female
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: isn't just anecdotal, As a twenty sixteen review in Obstetrics
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: and Gynecology notes, the authors look at twenty three studies
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: including fourteen, seven hundred and thirty six patients and determine
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: that quote the majority of women surveyed, fifty point two
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: percent preferred female over a male. Obgyn eight point four
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: preferred a male, and surprisingly forty one point three had
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: no preference. So very very very small number of women
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: are like, yes, I would rather have a man. Of course,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: this continues. There's no discounting the woman woman potential for
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: a warmer exchange in the office, and there's no question
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: that it as better communication between doctor and patience. It
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: goes on to say, with this one woman doctor, she's
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: enjoyed those patient relationships and knows they flourish because women
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: are smart, talented, thorough and empathetic to patients. Again, we
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: had that earlier. Manny Man needed any broad about patients
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: going to women doctors are more likely to live. Yeah,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: it's likely to die in general and obgyn no exception.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I think probably more so. And it goes on to
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: talk about how specifically like what their conversations are like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: and what it looks like to have a woman kind
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: of being like a mother figure or a sister figure
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: being able to talk to you because they know how
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: this feels. Although there is a reminder because there's also
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: been horror stories where women doctors do associate their own
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: experience and displaces them onto their patients, and their experience
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: may be completely different. So they may, like me, not
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: had that much pain, and so assume everybody's like that,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: which is not true, which is cannot be true, and
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: there's different levels of pain also also like with things
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: like indiemetriosis and all those other unknown even ailments that
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: happened that people have dismissed for years that they are
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: not often talked about enough. Again, we also talked about
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: the amount of time that a person spends with a doctor.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I will say my initial doctor, she was great, but
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: then the second time along, even though she didn't remember me,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: it was much quicker, and maybe because she had like
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: a fuller plate, the newer doctor that had gone to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: the young woman. She was young and fairly new practicing,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: so she was a lot more like detailed with me,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: also a lot more confused on some of the things
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I requested. I was like, oh, this is interesting, but
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: all this to say, like this was a back and
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: forth in my head, like is there a reason beyond
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: like what I assume? Again for me specifically, yes, mine
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: is a trauma reaction. And I don't think I ever
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: told any of my doctors this, and this is where
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, just so yo, no, I have a vivid
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: memory slash dream like one of the things that I remember. Again,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: it may have been a dream, but it's it's associated
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: with something because this was a young childhood where I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: was getting examed as a five year old in a
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: room full of men. And when I say exammed, I'm
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: talking about like a literal gynecological exam. Why would that
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: happen for a five year old? There's a lot of questions.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I just have a vivid, vivid picture of being surrounded
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: by men in a room while I was being exammed.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So like all these things, that is such a vivid
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: and wild picture for me that scares the living daylights
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: out of me, even to this age, because I'm like,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: these are some of the reasons I have repressed memories.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I don't remember a lot from my childhood. I just
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: know I have a lot of fear when it came
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: to men in general and then growing up, so like
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: all of that to say, for me, there was a
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: reason like no, I don't I don't want a man,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: And of course with that there's this a level of like,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: but there is a bias obviously from me because of
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: that trauma response. And it's not their fault and it's
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: not my fault. And there have been articles upon articles
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: honestly saying please choose a man, and these are from
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: obviously men. In fact, one article written by doctor Laway saying,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: who is a Singaporean opgu I n H. It's like,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: these are the six reasons you should, you know, come
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: to a man, like he specifically says this, and then
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: one says they can be easy to talk to. So
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, so are women maybe more so? I
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: don't know. And then the next one was males can
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: understand female anatomy too, and I was like, oh okay, okay, okay,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: so sure. The next one was like they are equally experienced,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: and that could be true, like when it comes to
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: like medical practices and learning, they all go through the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: same training, they all go through the same uh education.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: But once again that that personal experience can be different
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: as well as we understand that. The narrative is that
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: men often try to go higher up very quickly, so
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: sometimes don't have that personal understanding. It says men could
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: be easy to talk to. They said it again. I
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: just realized the really so like, there's actually five reasons,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: and then then he just added one more to it
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: to give you six. They are caring in humorous and
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: they they broke the common stereotype. And I'm like, no,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: that's not actually true because in the different article they
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: talk about how God and colleges explain why there's so
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: many men in the profession, and so like, so many
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: maybe in comparison to they're not saying that it's more men,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: but they're saying there's a lot of men. Stanford summary
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: of the study noted that females typically requested females us,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: possibly due to the expectation of kindness and combession, but
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: then after initial awkwardness, female patients do seem to want
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: male doctors, and in that article it says at this point,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the data shows that men tend to prefer gynecology, while
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: female trainees lean towards obstetrics, which focuses on pregnancy, childbirth,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: and the postpartum period. This could also be down to
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: gender based hurdles. Gynecology is a slightly more surgical specialty
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: compared to obstetrics, and surgery has always been a slightly
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: more male dominated area, which comes with its own challenges.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: A doctor says surgical training can be pretty intense with
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: really long days, which can be tricky if you're trying
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: to juggle training with having a family and working part time.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Isn't always easy. The same doctor as that women can
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: also still face sexism in the workplace, though that it's changing,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: and acknowledge that the issue she has raises also face
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: women outside the medical profession. So yes, Obviously, that conversation
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: is the that sexism still exists even in a field
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: that specialized for uterses. So I find that interesting in
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: that conversation because in another article they do talk about
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: how oftentimes even in the higher ups in this field
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: is still men, so it is still dominated by men
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: even though there's lesser of them in this field. All
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: of those conversations come into play. I found several articles
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: that I'm not going to get too much into it
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: about trauma informed care for obg y ns and what
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: is noted, they do talk about clinical indicators of possible
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: past sexual trauma in the way they say not able
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: to feel fetal movement, some women have numbed the part
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: of the body, so apparently that could be a sign
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: chronic pelvic pain missed prenatal appointments, panic with vaginal exams,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: extreme anxiety disassociation. So all of those things could be signed,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: but also all those things could be coming because you
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: were like, this is about my vagina and this is awkward,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do because it's so
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: it's so taboo in general, Like vaginas are so taboo
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: in general, and people are ashamed of it. They have
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: this shame culture of what it is, to the point
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: that many people don't go to the guy in college
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: just in general when they desperately, when everybody desperately should
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: do it, and they do tell practitioners, you know, what
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: they can do to minimize those types of pain about like,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: you know, they should be mindful of the imbalance of power, yes,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: in this the doctor type power. And then with that,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: of course, came article upon article about different abuse cases
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: that happened that are all generally men. I didn't see
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: any statistics that show that there were more cases of
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: abuse in uh OBGYN than any other practice. I didn't
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: see that, But the ones that I did see were
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: all men, Like it was a male practitioner. And that's
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: again that small inkling of like could this happen to
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: me because there was like some of the witness statements
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: were I thought this was part of the exam, and
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: then realizing later that it was actually really sexual and
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: you're like, wait what. And again though I have definitely
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I know mail ob g i Ns, and they've talked
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: about how like it's just the body part, just like
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: any other things, and they have no connection to it,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and you have to disassociate because this is not sexual
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: to them at all, which is what you want to hear.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, things have happened where you're like, hmm,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: but is it. And then there was one small article
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: and I realized this publication was an extremely white, right
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: winged teen magazine, which I've talked about before, and I
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: believe we talked about them and our Christianity episode. But
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: their title is mail obe g y Ns are some
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: of the most prolific predators in society, and they're flying
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: under the radar. So I don't want to play into
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: that either because I would say probably more like church
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: priests and preachers. But okay, we'll just leave it there.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: But in that that us that conversation like that does
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: also maybe that's a part of what's in my brain
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: that's the bias, that's like that fear could be true.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I think about that. Dentists too though, because I've heard
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: horror stories about dentists. You'll love having good time. This
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: has everything to do with my trauma. But again it
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: comes back to like I'm interested in why men chose
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: these professions more so than anything else. Not that they can't,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: and not that any profession is not. It should be
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: wide open and should have open opportunities and equal opportunities,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: and we've always said that, but it does fascinate me
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: about why do men want to be in gynecology? Is
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: it for the money? Is it easy? Because like we've
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: talked about how like social work and teaching, it is
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: mainly women nominated fields and then we have but when
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: a man does come in, they're get celebrated a little
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: more so they're more like celebrity. And it is at
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: that same level like, oh, you're doing something unique and
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: not like you really care about women in this field,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: or you really care about children, which is such a
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: feminine thing, or any of those level that I wonder
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: if that's part of the appeal. But yeah, I just
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: went down this rabbit hole of like, how often do
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: we see this? How do we I guess, combat it
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: or ease our nerves? And should I give this? Should
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I have given this man a chance? Because I'm like,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: now I have to wait three months? Also, can we
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: talk about the healthyer system that like I am, I
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: have these symptoms, I'm a little worried, and they're like, well,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: if anything bad happens, go to the er or our
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: urgent care, which is like ten times the amount of
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: what you have to pay.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, our systems, it really is.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: They're trying to kill people with uterses and marginalized people. Anyway, Yeah,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: that's another episode.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I will say. I know I've told the story before,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: so I won't do it again. But I was traumatized
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: by my first right is it too? A gynecologist and
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: he was a huge broad man, so it was a man.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: It was a man, huge, and I was fifteen and
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: he didn't really tell me anything. And then he told
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: me he was going to call my dad and tell
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: him I'm pregnant. And if you ever listened to Thirteen
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Days of Halloween, the first story I have on there
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Red Velvet is based on the trauma I went through
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: after I wrote it.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: In high school. I felt like he should have been reported.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Is there a statute of limitations on that he?
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: He legitimately traumatized me. And when that whole Trump thing
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: was happening, I wanted to get an IUD even though
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: like it was aming sex. But I was just like
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: just in case. But I said, I knew I was
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: gonna I'm too, I was gonna need some kind of
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: drugs or something. Yeah, I was going to panic. So
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I never did it. But that's I mean, that's the
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: extent of what we're talking about and why it's important,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: because yeah, you shouldn't be afraid to get healthcare right,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: just look after yourself, right.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: But here we are, Here we are, and I'll tell
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: you in two months and everything's okay. Three months so well.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: On that grim note, we have heard from so many listeners. Unfortunately,
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: we love hearing from you, but it's unfortunate how many
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: of how many of you have had experiences like this.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you taking the time to share them because
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: we do think this is really important to talk about.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: So if you would like to contact us about any
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: of this or any resources or information you can, you
• 21:39
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• 21:42
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• 21:44
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• 21:47
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• 21:50
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• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Thanks as always too, our super producer Christine, our executive
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: ducer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks
• 21:58
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• 22:00
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• 22:02
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