Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Sex, Faith, and Weak Links: Joy Taylor & Rachel Lindsay Get Real

Transcript

Sex, Faith, and Weak Links: Joy Taylor & Rachel Lindsay Get Real · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The US Open is a vibe. I love a sporting
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: event where you can throw a fit.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: First time I went, I was in a suite. We
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: were lit. We were like hanging out of the suite,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: out of our minds.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: So let me get this straight. You can be an
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: evil person and you just go to heaven.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: That's actually a good fucking deal. Like, I'll take that.
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: My therapist actually said to me, I want to talk
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: about your relationship to man, and I said, I'll see
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: you in twenty twenty six.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: I have somebody I want to took yop with.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, you've never told me this.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, Welcome to Personal. I'm Joy Taylor. Thanks so
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: much for joining us again this week. If you haven't already,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: make sure that you hit subscribe, follow us on our
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: social media at two Personal Show. Very excited for this
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: week's guest. Rachel Lindsay a great friend of mine. She
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: is a media mogul, she's an attorney, the first black bachelorette.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: She also does the show Higher Learning with Van Lathan,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: who was also on Too Personal earlier on in the season.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: If you want to go back and watch that as well,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: we have a great conversation. I really enjoyed it and
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: so glad you could come by and stop by the podcast.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited to talk to her.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So make sure you stick around for that, and of
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: course never too personal.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Really great question today.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: If you want to be a part of the show,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you can email us at two Personal Podcasts at gmail
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: dot com.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Or follow us on our socials.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So shoals which you should be doing anyway at two
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Personal Show and we'll get to that later, but first,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: in this ocean of gloom and doom, occasionally people act
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: so crazy that it actually it brings me some happiness,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: some joy, if you will. So people have been making
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: this prediction for hundreds of years and they have been
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: wrong exactly one hundred percent of the time.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: But the rapture, if.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: You are a part of the evangelical Christian community, then
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: you have had this conversation about the rapture. If you
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: grew up in any way like I did, you were
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: terrorized by the thought of there, You've.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Probably had rapture nightmares.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: You've probably lived your life in a way that the
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: rapture would take over and consume your thoughts and how
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: you were going to safe people in time.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Before Jesus came back.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: If you don't know what the rapture is, it's when
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Jesus comes back and he takes all the Christians and
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: leaves everyone else behind. I'm a little bit rusty on
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: what happens when everyone else glits behind.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: I think they get.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Sucked into Hell or something something like that. So it
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: sounds about right. It tracks, so anyway, people are back
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: on this. The rapture is happening now if you're watching this.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Of course they were again one hundred percent wrong, because
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: the rapture is supposed to happen on Tuesday behind the curtain.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: We shoot this before that.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So here we are prerecorded, and I'm talking to you,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: not raptured, and neither is anyone else. But a South
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: African passer has scared people again into thinking that the
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: rapture is going to happen Tuesday, September twenty third, fourth,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: twenty third. Okay, it doesn't matter again because we're all
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: here because he's wrong. But it got me to travel
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: back into my rapture history and Y two K, Like
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: if you were not around for Y two K, or
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: you were too young to remember what Y two K was,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: and of course if you were not white because I
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: don't think white people had the same experience. I've had
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: those conversations with many people, and like, I don't think
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: white people were even I don't even think they registered
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Y two K as like a thing.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: They were not prepared, like if the rapture.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Was gonna happen and the apocalypse was gonna happen, they
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: were not prepared for HY two K.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: It was not even a blip on their radar.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: US However, we were like in Florida saying at someone's
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: house who had a well we had like stocked up cans,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and I don't there was so much going on with
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Y two K, but that was a big like the
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Rapture's gonna happen in the year two thousand.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Hey, dinner you okay?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, I just want to make sure he's okay. Then
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: in twenty eleven, there were fears that a comet was
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: going to cause massive earthquakes and tidle waves and collide
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: with Earth. And again we have resurfaced with rapture predictions
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: for September twenty third, twenty twenty five, according to the
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: South African Pastor. So unfortunately, the rapture did not happen
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: again of course, because we are all still here. But
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: it got me thinking how much I really, I really
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: am ready for the rapture.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: I'm ready for I'm ready for.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Him to come and get the rapture believers off the planet,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: just goodbye. Like time to scoop them up, take them
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: wherever wherever they'd like to go, and leave the rest
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: of us to our societies.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Because man like, it's.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: One thing to believe in religion, and it's one thing
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: to believe in Christianity. It's a whole other thing to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: disregard exactly what the book says again to predict when
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the rapture is happening. The entire point of the rapture
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: is that no one knows what it's gonna it says
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: it in the book.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: No one knows how do we get here? I just can't.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Should I start a cult? I'm starting to think I
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: should start.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: A cult because it's so easy to convince people of
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: things these days.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Guys. It's in the book.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: If you are concerned at any point that you, as
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: a Christian or as a person, are getting sucked into
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: a vortex that may not be a reality, or that
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you might be getting manipulated or your fears and your vulnerability,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: you might get prayed on.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: Read a book.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I beg you, the words are printed on the paper.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: If you don't know how to read the book, consult
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: someone who does know how to read the book.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: And then have them walk you through it.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Generally, people that can read at that level twelfth grade,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: which is required for the New Testament, to read it
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: and process it. I know half the country can't read
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: past a sixth grade level, but usually people that can't
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: read are kind enough to break it down for the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: people that can't.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not even being stark.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: It says in the book that no one knows when's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: gonna happen. So, seeing that we are all still here
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: once again and the rapture prediction is wrong, I am
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: saying this, recording this with full confidence, because again, if
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: you believe anything it's in the Bible, then you in
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: fact know you don't know when the rapture is gonna happen. Guys, please,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: can we just pull it together for five minutes and
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: be serious about anything?
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Everyone's making fun of you because they should be. You
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: don't know when the rapture is gonna happen, stop preparing.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: But in any case, if you seem to get a
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: hold of this footage before it happens, or you guys
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: get another date on your hands, that you'd like to
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: give me all your money because you're not gonna be
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: here to spend it, and I might need some of
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: it in this new healthscape.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Where you no longer are here.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Please, I'll be happy to send you the wiring instructions
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: and I will take care of all of your dollars
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: here on Earth while you go on to ascension into
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: whatever planet heaven space that you have invented in your brain.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Because it's it's not to happen from the Bible. Please,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: can someone send me the remix Bible? That is that's
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: my actual request. I want somebody to send me the
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Remix Bible. Where are you people getting this information? It
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: gave me, It honestly gave me. It gave me a
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: little bit of happiness because as a scarred, rapture tormented
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: child from all of the predictions and the doomscapes that
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: had been preached to me by complete hypocrites, it was
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: it was kind of nice to see that people are
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: still still just listening to whatever is being told to
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: them in these spaces and that I'm not crazy, that
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: it really might be time for me to start a cult?
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: What should I call it?
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Send me some suggestions two personal podcasts at gmail dot com.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Send me some suggestions on the cult, because I think
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna start them.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: All right, it's times.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: This is a great transition actually to my conversation with
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Rachel Lindsay.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: Let's get to Rachel Lindsay. All right, I'm so excited
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: to have my friend Lindsay.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Rae is an incredible media maven.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: She's an author, a speaker, an attorney.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: She was the first black bachelorette, and she currently co
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: hosts Higher Learning with Van Lathan, who is also your
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: friend and a friend of the pod as well.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: So welcome to you Personal.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. I'm excited.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: How are you doing.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I'm recovering from COVID. I have to keep telling people
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: I've tested. Don't worry everyone I tested before I got here.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: But like, OVID is bad still, it's still a thing.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: Well, people keep saying to me, they're like, COVID's back, Like, guys,
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: COVID never left.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: I haven't been moving around like that, but I'm just saying, yeah,
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: it's back.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It's out here and it's getting you. I was down
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: bad for.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Like fagging some people.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's never going away, but there are those people
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: that don't believe it ever happened in the first place.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like it always takes on a new life.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Everybody describes their COVID like, what's your COVID? Like, this
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: is what my COVID's like.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Is a lot. But at least it didn't keep me
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: from the US Open. It did keep me from New
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: York Fashion Week.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Though the US Open was so fun. I was there
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: for the first time this year. Also, you were on
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: the red carpet. I went with a friend of mine,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: CHRISA Ah, you go every year?
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Now I will, yes, yeah, and now I have the bug.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Now I want to play tennis.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And I went and played tennis in New York and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: then I'm going to like start a little.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: A little qucy tennis crew. Are you good? I'm actually
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: not bad?
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: Okay, because I am bad and I don't like I
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: consider myself an athletic person, but there is something about tennis.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: And I we do not get along.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: Pickleball, good racquetball, great tennis. No, I've never felt more
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: unathletic in my life?
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Is it the moving around part?
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I felt clumsy.
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I was running to the ball
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: trying to hit it, and like you need to wait
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: a little bit for the ball to come to you.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: So while I was going over my head to the
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: side and I was like, this is what it feels
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: like to be.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I hadn't played in like three years, and I
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: was told I was pretty solid.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I felt solid, So yeah, I could do pickleball.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I haven't done pickleball, so I might try that out also,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: But I do want to get some.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: Qut tennis outfits. Outfits are amazing, form an alliance of
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: tennis girlies.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I'll come cheer. I mean I'll come just to dress
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: the part.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the outfits are so cute.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah they are.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: The US Open is a vibe. It's like.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I love a sporting event where you can throw a
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: fit and the US Open is one of those places.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: But were you shocked at how quiet it was?
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: No, it was so loud and it was so packed.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: You had a different experience than I did because I
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: was with the hooligans.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, I was, I was an gen pop.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: No, we had great seats but the like the halls
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: of the stadium, like everyone came into the same time
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: because it started raining. But I was there for the
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: You were there for the women's finals. Yeah, yeah, so
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: it started raining, so everyone started coming into the stadium
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: at the same time.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Yes, because I was warning the cart and we got
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: rained on and we had to sit out in the
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: garage and then I was.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Late coming in all of that. But the match is
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: so quiet.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: The first time, I went, oh yeah, yeah, Like they
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: said if you make noise, like they will not start
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: playing until everyone is silent.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: That's what I mean.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I'm used to being silent, not silence and silent silent.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I used to like talk at people and like talking
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: to my friends, and you can't do that.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: And the first time I went, I was in a suite.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: We were in the Gray Goose suite.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: We were lit, we were like hanging out of the suite,
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: out of our minds, and people kept looking back at
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: us or rolling their eyes, and I just thought they
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: were jealous, because you know, we were because I was sweet, yeah,
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: and like we were just having a good time and
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: we were drinking the honey.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Juice and all of that, and it was like, no
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: This is not the correct like it was bad.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: It's inappropriate.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It was really inappropriate.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: The honey juices are so good.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And I don't even drink vodka.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I'm not a vodka girl either.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I'll have one dirty martini occasionally and that is the
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: extent of my vaca consumption.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: But I had to try it. Yeah, and I mean,
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: what an excellent drink.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: It's so good.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: But the regular tennis folk are mad at us for
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: starting to come. There's like this all this chatter now
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: about Tony. It's becoming too popular. People are coming, They're
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: not paying attention to the match, they're talking.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Too much, They're worried about their outfit.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's this whole thing about it is becoming too popular,
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: too accessible. They've been keeping tennis stories out.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm trying to be a Wimbledon that right, pop
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: over to London, go to Wimbledon. I'm definitely going next year.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: It was so fun, Yeah, so fun, great vibes in
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: New York. How are you doing emotionally? This has been
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: a This has been an interesting couple of weeks for everyone.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: I'm all the emotions like you would. I'm I'm an
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: emotional person. I don't know if that always comes through,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: because I work very hard at not showing it. But
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: I will also cry at the drop of a dime
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: when I really care about something. And I'm one of
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: those people who cries when they're really angry. When I'm
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: really mad, you're going to see the tears first. And
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: I have felt over the last week angry, disappointed, frustrated, confused.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: But I shouldn't be confused and a.
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: Little hopeless, just like I shouldn't be I shouldn't be
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: shocked at how people are responding with the killing of
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Charlie Kirk.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: We're going they're early in the podcast, that's what's happening
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: I shouldn't be shocked at how people are responding. But
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: I think as a person who grew up in very
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: religious to see what so called Christians are doing and
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: how they're acting, and how they can't see how they
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: are being used as pawns and being played upon for
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: people using their religion where they're basically tapping into it,
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: because religion in itself can be a cult, and they're
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: tapping into that cult, adding politics to it to build
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: a bigger cult, and they're using your religion to as
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: a GUIs to hide to further their own agenda, and
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: they don't recognize that, and instead you are attacking people
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: the wrong people because this person said they were a
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: man of faith but didn't act it in any kind
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: of way. This person said they believed in God but
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: has no christ like characteristics. And it's so obvious to me.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: And the other obvious thing is if you are so upset,
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: if you're so upset and you should be at the
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: way at somebody being killed in that manner, then why
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: are you not focusing on how somebody can be killed
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: like that in this country rather than looking to blame
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: who's like at a person or a political party or
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: an agenda. It's a problem that somebody can be killed
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: like that in this society, and that's the real issue.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: And you should be mad at your politicians who are
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: using your anger to further their agenda rather than your
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: politicians trying to fix the problem. And all of that
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: is why I feel all those emotions that I said
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: right now, and I can't get off social media and
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: I can't stop talking about it.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I'm part of the problem. I'm part of the problem.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know that it's a problem.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I think we do need to keep having these conversations.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: It's just a matter of who are you having these
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: conversations with, because to me, it's rudimentary what you're saying.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's I've been talking about this publicly for
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: many years. I have been getting pushed back about this
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: for many years. But I grew up in church jail, Okay.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I went to Baptist church, thread of six days a week, vacation,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Bible school, awana, reading the Bible cover to cover once
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: a year. I did missions trips like you, this is
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: this is my bag, okay. And I refuse to be
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: belittled with the remix And I not even want I
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: called the remix because the reason I left the church
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: was because of how church people behave.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: And now it's just become this.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: It's just a joke to me, and it infuriates me
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: because the shaming and the repackaging of what it means
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: to be a Christian. Like at this point, if you
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: tell me you're a Christian, I.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Don't trust you.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I fundamentally don't think you can make good decisions for yourself,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: that you are someone that holds other people accountable, that
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: you believe in any type of moral positioning that you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: stand for anything, And honestly, I really think they're cowards.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: They're cowards, and they're Charlatans. And the reason I get
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: upset is I still identify as a Christian and I
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: still hold.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: On to the values that I learned as a kid.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: I wasn't going three to six times a week, I
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: was probably going twice. But I went to a Christian
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: school my entire life, and I still have issues with it,
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: right Like.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I condemn purity culture. I've written about it.
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: I talk about it like it's so so problematic, and
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Agree with every single thing. But I still hold.
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: True to the values for me morally, and I don't
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: think you have to have to be a Christian to
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: have good morals.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Want to be very clear about that.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I think that the more the I am more apt
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: to trust someone's morals if they don't tell me that they're.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Christian, I think you shouldn't trust someone. This is my
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: this could get me in trouble.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: People who lead with that right where it's their defining personality.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Like you probably have never even heard me say that.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: To you, fuck you bitches.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: See now now Rachel says it because this is the
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: fucking truth, like you. I said this on Paul's podcast
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: on Paul Peager's podcast, and everyone was freaking the fuck out, like,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: damn can I be You can't be a man of
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: God anymore? No, cause you're fucking not a man of God.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: You're a fraud.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: And I'm sure you can identify this. This is why
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: I loved that movie Saved when it came out. It
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: is very very rare I make a movie reference because
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: I do not sit and watch movies.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I don't have the attention span for it.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: But the movie Saved I felt seen because there's a
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: there's a scene in it that I lived all the
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: time where people would say, I don't I can't be
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: in a relationship with you anymore because God told me
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: that we can't be together.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, I doubt.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: My therapist was like, this has happened to me so
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: many times that my therapist is like, where are you
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: finding these men?
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Like? Are you going to a specific place? I was
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: like no, they.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Find me no, and then they hit me with my fate,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: my favorite fucking line, which is that they can't have
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: sex anymore because they're trying to get closer to God.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Been there. It's happened to me too. You are not alone.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: You are not alone. I am here not making this.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Ship up, but I rare.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is real and what works like because
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: we I won't even get we have done.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Horrible things to each other. You're like, now you hear God, God,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: what is that?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: What it is to take it too far? We can
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: lose the leather, my God, Relax And.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: This is what turns people if you like really believe
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: it and you really study it, that it's all of
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: this is a joke and is so far from actual
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: teachings or whatever the like, the understanding in the belief
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: of the way you know, Jesus lives.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Now it's funny to me.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: And that is why, like the person saying to us,
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: God said I can't be with you or I can't
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: have sex with you. That is literally the equivalent of
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: somebody weaponizing Christianity for political reasons. They weaponize it for
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: their own personal benefit, and it's happening way too much.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Well, my thing is if you if you, if we're
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: together and you are not a Christian, and then you
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: get saved, and then that is your response, Okay, because
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: you're on that journey, but you were Christian when we met,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: and now walk me through it and my thing with faith,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: and the reason why it bothers me so deeply is
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: because religion and faith are such compelling.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Things for people like It defines people.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: It defines their family, it defines the places that they
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: show up, it defines how they vote. And what's really
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: bothered me the past couple of weeks is everyone is
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: so weak, and I am just tired of people being
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: so fucking weak.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: You don't stand for anything.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: All you do is run your fucking mouth, you slap
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Jesus's name on it, and all of a sudden you're
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: on the good side of things and whatever happened over
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: here doesn't matter because God is absorb you of everything.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: So let me get this straight, because this is the
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: this is the only consistent thing that I have seen
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: from these people over the past couple weeks. I can
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: live my life however the fuck I want to. I
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: can treat people terrible, I can hate people. I can
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: advocate for deaths. I can advocate for rape, I can
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: advocate for people to lose their livelihood. I can advocate
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: for slavery and fucking Jim Crow. I can say horrible shit,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: treat people badly, screaming people's faces, call them fucking names,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: do any number of atrocious things my entire life, and
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: good to heaven. That's actually a good fucking deal. Like,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I'll take that. It seems like you don't have to
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: do anything. You don't have to be held accountable, you
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: don't have to fucking work on yourself, or you don't
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: have to be a good person, and fuck being a
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: good person.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: You can be an evil person and you just go
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: to heaven.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: Guys, that's not religion, Like, that's just that is like
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: the when you sit there and pitch that to me,
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: it's like, yeah, of course I would be a Christian accountability.
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: I can do whatever the fuck I want, could like
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: this pitch on fire.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: Well, if you look a certain way and that and
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: and and everything you're saying is that's where I should
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: laugh at it because it's so ridiculous, but particularly laugh
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: at it because people so wholeheartedly, with their whole being
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: believe it and stand for it. But the crazy thing is,
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: to me, all that you said that, right, it's okay
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: if you do all those things and you look a
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: certain way or you agree with the things that I'm doing.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe you don't look like me, but you agree with.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: My beliefs and the things that I'm pushing forward and
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: my ideals. However, if I say, okay, the person you
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: like believe does this, this and this and all those
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: things that you said, if I do it, somehow you
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: can find grace for that person because they're a Christian.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: But if I do those things and then I say
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: well I'm a Christian too, it's no, you're not. No
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: you're not, because you're calling out that person. Now hold
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: on a second, Yeah, because we're the fun understanding.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: It is the fundamental basis of Christianity. There is no accountability.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: It is a brilliant concept. You can live your life
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: however you want and do whatever you want to people,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: and if you claim to be a Christian when you die.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: You're good for the Charlatans. Because do you Are you
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: familiar with James Tallarico.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: No.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: I love this guy. And the only reason I am
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: is because I'm from Texas and so I try to
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: pay attention to Texas politics. But he is a local
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: Texas senator. He's also a preacher, child of a minister.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: He blew up on social media because on TikTok of
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: how he confronted Texas Republicans, white guy Texas Republicans for
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: wanting to put up the Ten Commandments and all these
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: things caught the eye of Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan has
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: him on his Joe Rogan has him on his podcast.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: He blows up. That's how he came to even my attention.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: Now he's running for US senator in Texas.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: He be beautifully and brilliantly lays out because he studied theology,
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: what actually are the teachings and how it counteracts with
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: the way these people are saying they are and it's
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: so great, and yet the Christians are still those type
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: of Christians are still attacking.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: But see, that's my issue with it, is that what
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: is a Christian?
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Because there can't be various types of Christians. There can't
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: be Christian nationalists and black Christians and empathetic Christians. Like
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: what does it mean fundamentally to be a Christian? Because
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: the words are there, right, Like the book is there
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: and in the book it says.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: By their fruit you will know them.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: This fruit is rotten, rotten, and you're picion it to me,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Like it's not like I'm fucking stupid, and I'm a
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: lot of things, but stupid is not one of them.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: And like I said earlier, this is my motherfucking bag.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: You will never take me down when it comes to
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: having conversations about the church or how these people behave Yeah. Yeah,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: And so to me, it's it's really frustrating to watch
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: this kind of rhetoric get circulated. And I honestly think,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: you know, it's about time that I just joined the
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: fucking party, Like let's just be assholes and say we're
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Christians because that's the best way to live, Like they
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: have the best life.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: It wouldn't matter because this is what I mean about,
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: like you don't look like them or adopt their their
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: type of Christianity, and you're right, there is there shouldn't
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: be a type. But the way when humans put their
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: own personal twists and spin on it, there becomes a
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: divide and so they'll still never I in my post
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: that I posted on social media that people are ripping
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: me apart, I talked about empathy because he said Charlie
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: Kirk said he didn't have any and he didn't believe
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: in that word. And I was like, how can you
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: claim to be a Christian but not believe in empathy.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Because he's not a Christian, because he wasn't a Christian,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: because he was Christian.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: In words only, And people were like, you're taking his
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: text out of context. He said he didn't believe in empathy,
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: but he believed in sympathy, and I'm.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Like, that's really rich, because to believe in sympathy just
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: means you pity somebody and feel sorry for them.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: You have to go the extra mile for empathy. There's
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: a deep understanding. You have to want to care about
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: the well being of someone, which he does not give
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: a fuck about anybody who looks like us or who
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: has different beliefs than him, And they don't understand that.
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: But in my caption I put I was like, I
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: grew up as a Christian, I'm a Christian, blah blah
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: blah blah blah.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: And I explained it. People ripping me, you are not
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: a Christian?
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: How dare you talk about Charlie Kirk when he died
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: and he had a wife and this, and I go,
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: I actually made space for that. I will never celebrate
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: the public killing of anybody.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: I thought that was loud, it was gruesome. I never
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: want to see that type of video again. And I
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: made and I said, because I have empathy, I can
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: recognize that somebody on a personal level lost a husband,
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: a father.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Everyone has a family, But why do people say that?
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: That is one of the fundamental things that confuses me
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: about this whole situation.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: Everyone has a family.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: Of course, and that is why I can say I
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: don't I can still say I don't like that, and
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: I can still say this, But how can you say
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: I'm making space for that?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: And I'm also talking about empathy and how people weaponize Christianity,
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: and I'm talking about the why he didn't believe in
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: it and how he used it for his own benefit
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: and what do people say to me? And this is
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: why I'm back to the point of me saying, you
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: can't just say, oh, I'm gonna start saying I'm a
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: Christian two and doing whatever.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: It won't matter because you're not their kind of Christian.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: And at the end of the day, that's what.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I'm not white. Yeah, that's why white.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: But but but let's make space for those blacks, Okay,
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: because there are black people who because they say it
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: to me all the time, they love to they love
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: to compare me to Candace.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: You're not like, no, not saying I'm like her.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: It's just like, well Candace said this, or they'll throw
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: in another black person who says the things that they
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: want to say. So I, yes, I say you're not white,
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: but you're also not a minority who believes their beliefs,
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: who adopts it.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Because there are those two. There are those two.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I gotta tell you, self hating I am the weak links.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: That's what they are.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: The week they're the weak links. What do you mean,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: they're the weak links, that's what they are. Like this,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: self hating ones are the weak links.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Oh I thought you said you are that?
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, And I was like, what do you
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: I'm got strongest soldier.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know which God because I don't subscribe to
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: whatever this insane remixes.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: It is very it was very I'm with you though.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I saw a lot of people posting about it, and
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, hmmm on fun for uh, can't wait
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: till you bring up why I don't follow you anymore.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Be happy to let you know.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: But I'm also just really getting to the point, and
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I've it's the empathy thing is interesting to me because
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I've talked about on the show.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I don't have a lot of empathy left for anyone,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: like I am I am. I know that I am losing.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Empathy, like I care less and less about other people
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: because what the world is telling me constantly every day
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: is that I should not give a fuck about anybody,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: that I shouldn't care about what other people are suffering
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: through that there is no real benefit to being a
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: good person. We celebrate atrocities, we celebrate terrible people. We're
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: repackaging history, we're erasing reality. What's the point and like
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: for you, what's the point for me? What's the point
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: for me to not go full villain?
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: No? But I mean because you, like, I think everything
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: that you're saying is fair. And if you told me
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: that you had no empathy because of all that you see,
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: I would.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Probably be like, I completely understand you. But for you,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: like for me, I can't live in.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: A space where I don't care, like there are things
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: that I don't care about for sure, And I think
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: that's a gift to be able to just be like honestly,
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: like to get to the place in life where you're
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: like you see something and you're like don't really face
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: me don't care because I haven't always been that strong.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: But for me personally, the person that I am and
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: the way I want to live my life, I have
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: to have a level of empathy. And also because so
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: many people don't about things that they should.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: So many people don't care.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Look at a Charlie Kirk, for example, It's like there
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: were so many people and situations that he absolutely didn't
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: care about and have empathy for. Well, imagine if we
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: all just said fuck it, we're just going to adopt
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: that mentality. There's got to be people who still care
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: about certain things. And that's why I like not to
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: harp on James. I was just still had my Texas license.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: It's like, when I hear him, I'm like, please don't
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: disappoint me. I'm not idolizing him. I'm not putting my
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: faith in him. But it is very refreshing to see
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: someone who is young and who I'm like, this makes sense.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: You don't look like me.
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: There are probably things that we don't agree about, but man, like,
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: if more people could start talking like you and you
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: can change bend some people back over to this side.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: I'm a little bit more hopeful and I'm not really
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: a hopeful person that I will say.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: I am not hopeful.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: And by the minute, I get more and more convinced
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: that we are severely cooked.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: No, no, no cooking for sure. No, I think we're
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: cooked like I think it's.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Fried, and we're just gonna start rotting now that it's
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: it's like Ben Cooks were sitting out in the sun
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: and it's over soon. Because I would like to believe,
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: and to be clear, I do still have empathy. I'm
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: just incredibly frustrated with how people are treating each other.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: And I don't know, I just what you and I
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: having a rational conversation does not convince me that these
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: people will ever change. In fact, I think they're going
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: further to the other side. And this situation convinced me
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: even more that there are so many, so many more
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: than I thought, so many people who are well meaning,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: and well meaning people are so fucking dangerous. They don't
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: stand for anything, and they pop out with some bullshit
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: quote or talking about he was a family man, or
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: talking about he was a man of God, and it
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: is so so terrible. Well meaning people have fueled genocides, slavery,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: atrocities across.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: The planet since the beginning of time.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: In fact, I might argue that well meaning people are
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: the fuel that allows those things to continue, because at
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: least if there are just clear sides this and this,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: we can go to war and the winner makes the rules.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: But when you have this contingent of people that don't
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: stand for shit, and then they pop out when something
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: like this happens and like, well, I don't know, I
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: don't know much, but I know I don't like this, Like, well,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: then shut your fucking mouth. If you don't know anything,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: why are you talking. Do some research, read one page
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: of one fucking book, watch one fucking video, educate yourself,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: and then and then push your your fucking line in
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: the sand about where you stand on the situation, because
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: no one is advocating for violence. Has politics of the
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: state of the world affected your dating life?
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: No, this politics.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: No, hasn't affected my dating life because I'm not going
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: to date anybody who's in any way aligned with the
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: things that we've been talking about in this podcast.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: That's easy for me. I'm new to dating, Like I
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: feel like I haven't dated my entire thirties.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: So I kind of feel, well, you were married for
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: how many years?
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: I was married for four and a half.
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: We were together for about seven and then the year
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: before that, I was on the Bachelor, and so like,
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: I came into my thirties kind of in and out
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: of a relationship five years that was dying and I
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: really didn't have much time to date in between, never
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: been on an app any of that, And then you know,
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: I was approached to do The Bachelor, and I was
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: like okay, and that pretty much took up majority of
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: my thirties.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: And part of my reason for like getting over the
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: fear of saying like, this is not it. You know,
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: it's not it. You felt this way for.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: A while moving to Devori was I didn't want to
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: wake up at forty and be in this exact same place.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: So you know, at thirty eight, you know, the moves started,
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: but still it wasn't until it wasn't over till I
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: almost turned forty.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so dating is new and it's difficult, and I
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: am a person who likes to date.
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: You know how people are like they're serial daters, probably
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: because I love to have conversations.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: I love to meet people, I love to dive into
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: their worlds.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: I love to talk.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: First dates are easy, first dates are fun.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: It's the going into the going to the next level,
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: having to have my guard down, having to be vulnerable.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's where I'm like, ah, I'm not ready
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: for that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: But for me, I met someone pretty quickly that became
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: a friend and then I really started liking and like,
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: that's kind of but I don't know really what's going
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: to happen with that one.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: But I kind of got lucky in that sense.
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: So I kind of got saved in a sense of
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: not having to like date too much or getting on
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: the dating.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: Apps or any You still haven't been on the apps?
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Should I know that's what everybody says.
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: Then I meet people who have and maybe that time
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: has expired, but who've met people on apps?
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: And have we've talked about this?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't think that apps are inherently bad.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I know people that have met on apps like they're
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: they're not. I think it's how you use the app,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and you're a public figure, so there's only certain apps
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: you can be on.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: So like I this is I'm telling myself right now.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: But I got on Hinge.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: You guys, mister Window, by the way, I was on
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Hinge for two weeks and I was like, fuck it,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try it because I was on Riya and
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I actually met a really nice man on Riya. We
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: dated for a couple months, so that experience wasn't bad.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I have a fucking insane experience from another app. But
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: the hinge thing my problem was everyone was a CEO
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: or founder.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: I was like, it's giving unemployed, Like, what what are you?
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: What are you the CEO of No, it's listen, my
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: somebody sent me my exes coincides with the stuff that
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: you're saying, Like I.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: Know that everyone's a CEO or owner or founder.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Is that like that's terrifying for me?
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: What does your company do?
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's terrifying.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: For me, like big Baller records.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: So I shouldn't get on right.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, No, Riya is different. Riya's though. Riya's something that
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: you said.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: It's not even just I have never been on a
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: dating app before. It's also I have not dated since
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: I've been on from The Bachelor. My dating before, I
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: was an attorney and lived a much quiet, quieter life.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a public now, it's totally different for me.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: And I remember I went on a date.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: And and the person I went on a date with
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: this public figure as well, but they didn't know that
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: I had been on the Bachelorette and the moment, I
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: didn't lead with it, right, just like I don't lead
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: with Christian, I don't lead with Also, I was on
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: the show like I'm trying to avoid it at all,
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: but as i'm I'm trying to avoid the whole thing.
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: But we were having great conversation, and I think he
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: was even shocked at how it.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Was because I never talked about this.
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: His assistant came up during the day and gave him
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: his keys or something like that, and I felt like
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: she was hanging around in case it was bad, like
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: in case it wasn't good. He had an out and
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: she kind of gave him his keys, and I think
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: she took an uber kind of like, oh, this is
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: going well because it had been a couple of hours, you.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: Know, it was hours and hours an hours. So it's
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: a great conversation.
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: And as we're really starting to talk, I'm like, fuck,
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: I have to say I'm divorced.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: That's weird for me.
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: And I wasn't officially divorced yet, right, So I don't
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: want to tell people I mean, it's not even just
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: telling divorce.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I have to get into the Bachelor of it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: So then as I was realizing it's like, oh, I
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: have to say I'm divorcing in the process, then it
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: was well, how did you meet your husband? Yeah, and
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: I'm like, fuck, I gotta talk about the Bachelor. And
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: I got really embarrassed. And that's what's going to be
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: new to me, and all of this. I don't want
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: to have to because I'm hoping you don't know that
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: I was on The Bachelor, loved.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: It, was excited about it. He's saying, oh, wait, you wait.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: I remember when.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: That was announced and everybody was talking about it and
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: people were making jokes. And then he was like, listen,
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: that means you've made it if people are like making
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: jokes and stuff about it, and like comedians are talking
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: about it and it was like a Saturday Night Live spoof.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: And he was like that, that's like a good thing.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: Wasn't critical of it, but was really excited, and then
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: became really curious and then started asking me a lot
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: of questions about it, but not in a way like
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: a fan, out of pure curiosity and like, that's my fear.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: It was like, I don't want to talk about it,
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: but are you interested in me? Or now are you
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: here longer?
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: Because this is something you've never been on a date
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: with someone from a reality show or the first Black Bachelorette,
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: and now you're just curious and the conversation is steered
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: away from me and who I am as an individual,
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: and you're more caught up in my life. Like for
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: that person, imagine if I started talking about their craft
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: and what they do and started asking all these questions
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: about who they've worked with and what it's like to
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: do this and this and this and this, they would
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: be a little bit turned off because you're like, well, wait.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: I'm a person. Don't you want to get to know
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: me as this? I almost said it was.
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: I at you beef it out, and so for me
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: it was off putting, and it I just was like,
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: is this what dating is going to be for me now?
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: Or if I get on an app when they swipe
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: or they swiping because they're wait, oh wait, I'm curious
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: to learn more about that, Like don't you fear that?
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's a very understandable thing to experience
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: when you are newly divorced. I feel nothing about selling
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: people i'm divorced now because it was so long ago,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: But when I first started dating, yeah, I was. You know,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: you feel a little even if whether it's right or wrong,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: you feel a little shame about it. For sure, people
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: are going to want the story about what happened, and
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: when it's new, you might not really have your bearings
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: on how you feel about all of it emotionally, and
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: that can be difficult to you know, have a conversation
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: with someone and talk about, you know, a very raw
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: and heartbreaking experience, even if you wanted to get divorced.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: It is a horrible thing to go through and it's hard,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Like breakups are hard, divorces are a nightmare.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: For everyone.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: So it's very understandable that you'd feel that way. And
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: as far as like The Bachelor, it goes, you know,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: people people get interested in different things. Like I've been
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: on dates where people will start talking about like, oh,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: it was like to work with so and so and
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: no no, no da, and like there's times where I'm like, okay,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: like you can let's talk about the cowboys, Like I
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: can talk about that. I don't want to talk about,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: you know, Fox, I don't want to talk about people
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: I've worked with right now. You know, like eventually we'll
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: have all these conversations if we end up together, but
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: you know, off off the top, it can be a
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: little off putting. But what I would say though, is,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: and we've had many conversations privately about divorce and dating
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: and these experiences. My advice is to let yourself heal,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: because you know, it doesn't mean that you can't date
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: if you're not healed, but just understand there might be
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: some things that trigger you, like and maybe you are
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: feeling triggered because you're like, I feel embarrassed about this,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: or I feel like this isn't something I want to
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: talk about right now, and this person is digging in
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: and they may really just be wanting to learn more
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: about you. But it's because you're triggered, you're feeling defensive.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: And the other thing that I've.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Found out the very hard way, is that if you
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: aren't fully healed and you roll up on the wrong person,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: they're going to weaponize your vulnerability and start manipulating you
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: to feel worse about yourself to control you.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you have to be very careful with that.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such a delicate thing.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: I mean, my therapist actually said to me, I want
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: to talk about your relationship to man, and I said,
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: I'll see you in twenty twenty six.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: Like I just just let me play this outright.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I was just like, just let me play this out.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Just let me just like do what I need to
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: do and then like we'll regroup at the top of
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: the year.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: I the healing thing is real, Like.
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: I feel healed from my divorce. But I think moving
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: forward of you know, because like when you're married, you've
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: you've you're planning this life and you know, you see
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: things the way and like I would imagine like we
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: both like to control things and like be like I
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: want to know that this is going to happen and
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: this is and this is and this and this and this,
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: and when you divorce you let go of all of
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: that and there's so much unknown.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: I think that's the thing that I have to work through.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: That's the thing that I need to heal from.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: Of. Okay, moving forward, what does Rachel want? What does
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: a relationship for Rachel look like? Because things are different,
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: Like I probably my mother hates when I say this,
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: but I'm like, I don't know if I ever want
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: to get married again because for me, one thing that
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: I did learn and healing from the divorce is I
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: never had a partner.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: I just had a person. And so to me, partnership
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: is something that I am.
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: I know that I'm looking for and that I want
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: more than having a ring on my finger or say
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: or calling somebody my husband. I want somebody who is
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: a partner in life with me. Yeah, so you know,
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: I got to work through that in twenty twenty six though. Yeah,
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: I'm letting this year play out and we'll see.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: But you need this. You need that time too.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Like people always shame women for that time that you're
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: taking for yourself, but sometimes you just need a beat
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: and you don't know what you want and you'd be better.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be worse off just dating someone just to
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship when you don't really know what
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: you want, You're actually going to traumatize other people.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna I don't want to mess
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: up when people are like, oh, this guy wants to
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: talk to you. I'm like, I am not like one.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: I like somebody right now, and I just don't know
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: where that's going to go. But I have learned a
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: lot about myself and what I desire in relationships and
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: what I lost in my marriage.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: I forgot because I just got so caught up.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: Obviously that was very public, and I got so caught
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: up in other things that I lost my way of
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: what I really value and what I'm doing right now
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: has really shown me what I value and what I
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: want and what I like. So I love that if
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: this doesn't work out, I've learned a lot from it.
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: But I am also I say, if this doesn't work out,
• 46:13
  Speaker 4: leave me alone. I am emotionally unavailable. I don't want
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: to do anything else. I need to, as my therapist said,
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: work on some things with myself, and I don't want
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: to mess up somebody that's good or maybe that could
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: be meant for me, because timing is everything.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: It might not be now, might be in twenty twenty six.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: That's also what a psychic told me.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: So you know, do you find it hard because I
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: struggle with this a lot when it comes to speaking
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: about dating and relationships publicly, because we are public figures.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: Do you find the judgments of where you are? Does
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: that bother you? Does the reaction to the divorce bother you?
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: With how people perceive me dating. Yeah, No, I'm not
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: worried about how people perceive me dating. I mean I
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: think I'm I want to make sure I'm understanding. Like
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: you're saying, does dating because my book my divorce was
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: so public? Yeah, does the fact that I'm dating publicly
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: or not.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: And how people perceive that bothered?
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: Well, because you know, we.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: We have to. We don't have to, but part of
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: what we do is being vulnerable and you know, speaking
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: about our lives and speaking about things that people don't
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: generally talk about publicly.
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: I think, if anything, because my last relationship was so
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: public and we tried to make it. Actually, our relationship
• 47:33
  Speaker 4: in itself was private. Us meeting and how we met
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: and fell in love and all of that was public.
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: But outside of that, we really kind of tried to
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: keep it close to the chest so people didn't understand
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: the inner workings of it. That's why they were shot
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: when it all came about. But if you really think
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: about it, you really didn't know much. You knew that
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: we wanted a family, you knew that you know, we
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: were still together, and that we had moved around a bit,
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: but you really didn't know.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: We didn't talk about it.
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: We didn't work together, we didn't influence together like you
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: see other gobles that come from the show. We really
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: lived separate lives when it came to that, and there
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: are a number of reasons why that was the case.
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: But if anything, it's made me feel like I want
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: to do things a lot more private.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: So you wouldn't want to be in another public relationship.
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: Well, I hated that the person that I'm dating it
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: got out and it's not even really that public, but
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: you know, I didn't know going to a concert that
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: I was going to be sharing the suite with somebody
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: from TMZ hould like, how could I have known that?
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: And I totally bitched that.
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: Brand out of like why would you put me in
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: a suite with somebody from TMC? And thank god I
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: knew her because love her, she's great, but I knew
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: her so I knew how to act. But she caught
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: like she clocked it. She was like, let's all take
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: a picture together, and when I was like no, then
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: it was like, hm, you know I'm gonna have to
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: write about this, right, So I was trying to keep
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: that we were out in public, living a public life,
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: but not posting on social not putting it out there,
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: and if anything, I would try to keep that.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: Kind of stuff.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: I'm not against dating somebody in the public eye. I
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: just don't want to be public about what I'm doing
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: if I can help it. I mean, I loves to
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: put that stuff out there. Who are you dating?
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: What's going on?
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: You know you and so and south and I'm like, damn,
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: can we just live?
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: No?
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: No, I never want to be in another public relationship.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: I would prefer not to be. But if I'm feeling it,
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: because I am totally energy, like I have to be moved.
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: If I'm feeling it, I'm going to go for it.
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: But I'm not going after it. Like I have a
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: friend she and her husband. I'm like, hooking me up
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: with someone, and I'm like, don't. And he's an athlete.
• 49:44
  Speaker 4: I do not hook me up with an athlete. That's
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: not what I want to have somebody I want to
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: hook you up with.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, you've never told me this?
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: What do you mean I told you when I saw
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: you in New York I was drunk. Oh do you
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: not remember me telling you this? No?
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: He was there Wait, I gotta he was there and
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I had COVID and I told.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: Him at that I told him also, I was like,
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: there's someone here I want you to meet. And then
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: you got then like you love, But.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: I've ran I probably didn't, I've ran away. Probably well.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: I no, you don't know them and they don't know you.
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: Did I run away? No, because there was somebody else
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: at that party trying to talk to me. And if
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: it's to you, if it's the.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Same person, it's not the same person. I promise you's
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: not the same person.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, I want the same person save them for twenty
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: twenty six, but I want to know.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: I want on my head. He was like, tell me
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: who it is. I was like, no, I want. He
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: was like, is she is? She a baddie? I was like,
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: first of all, don't disrespect me.
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: I'm not going, well, don't look at this podcast because
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: I am rough right now.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: Don't don't.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Actually, does he watch this podcast. No, he's not gonna
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: we're not gonna clip this part off and then he
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: won't see it. No, but you guys would be so
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: hot together.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: I want to know who it is.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Off.
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not telling you guys, it's not the right time,
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: but it's.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: So funny because I don't remember that.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it the next you guys will know.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: I was lit.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: No, I didn't.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: I guess I probably should have known maybe, But it
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: was like a chaotic chaotic but like there.
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: Was like a lot happened.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: I was a few shots in by the time I
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: had to you, I was running around the party saying,
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: where's Joy, Where's Joy?
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, right, And then we found each
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: other and then took all those crazy pictures.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Is that who you want to hook me up with?
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: No, No, you don't know.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: I'm thomising you don't know who this person is and
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: they don't know who you are. It's but I'm gonna wait.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait, so you're wait.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: The situation is right. I love this because you guys
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: would be hot together.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I never hooked anybody up. I like, actually adamantly disagree
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: with even the concept. I may just kind of like
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: massage it met you guys, forget about it and then
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: work my magic.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to think I got any one more question
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: about that.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: But if any of you in here know, maybe Marco's
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: ask where they live. No, I'm not giving you guys
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: any information.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: He did the same thing. He was like, where does
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: she live? How tallish she? I was like, no, no, no, no, no, Now,
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: when the time is right, when the time is right,
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: we'll see. Yes, we'll do their couple reveal on the show.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: He doesn't need to watch.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: First, shutout, you look beautiful all right? Before we get
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: you out of here, we always do rapid fire. So
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: the last book that you thoroughly enjoyed.
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: I'm a terrible person who I start book a book,
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: I get one hundred pages in, and then I jump
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: to the next book every time.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Every time, I am forcing myself to finish this book
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: that I'm reading right now. It's really good, but I
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: just I have the same habit. And then I see
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: another book and I'm like, oh, I want to read
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: that book. I know.
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: I like.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: Finishing books is a problem for me.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Also erased is the book by Animalika Tubs. It's so good.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: It's about American patriarchy.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: Mmm.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: It probably makes me hate men more and so again.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: And I got to finish it before twenty twenty six
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: because I feel like that's gonna be a big year
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: for me.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's so so good. It's so good.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: I am reading The Second Mountain, which I will finish.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: I have that one. It's really good.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's on my Oh, it's on your stack to read. Okay,
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: it's the book. It actually would be a good book
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: for you to read right now. Okay, Yeah, I think
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: I think it would be a good book for you
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: to read before twenty twenty.
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: Sex.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: I think somebody gave it to me mid divorce. Yeah,
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: I think it was a gift.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: It's a good it's a good divorce book. If you
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: could only have one app on your phone, which Wednesdays.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Does do text count?
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: Uh?
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: No?
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: Those like our standard? Yeah?
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: Instagram same. I'm an instagrammer. Yeah, I will mindlessly scroll TikTok,
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: but lately I have been doing a lot more, but
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: Instagram for sure.
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: I also just like I like the messaging mechanism on
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Instagram more than TikTok.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: Doesn't feel as overwhelming for me.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, favorite fast food chain.
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: I'm not a fast a big fast food eater because
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: I don't like burgers. I stopped eating them after I
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: read Fast Food Nation back in college.
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: But I am judging.
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: I loved burgers so good, but ground beef disgust me.
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: Ground anything disgust me.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: You're a picky eater. Though I am a picky eater.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: So I like Wendy's.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: Great chicken nuggets and so that I get like the
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: spicy chicken nuggets.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: I can do that does Chick fil A?
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: What do you mean?
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: What do you mean ground chicken?
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: I thought you take a chicken like like like yes,
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: you know what, like Chick fil a has the chicken.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: I thought old christ.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Chick fil A is Christian nationalist chicken.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Well that's why I didn't say Chick fil a, right, but.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: They have they have better chicken, guys. I'm because God
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: was there.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: I am literally sick to my stummach.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: What do you mean how did you think that they
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: assembled the Wendy's nuggets?
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. Ground chicken was a thing. That's
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: one two babes.
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: It's not even ground chicken. It's like pure It's like okay,
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: I can't, no, I can't. I'm like actually gonna be no,
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: Like I'm I'm literally gonna vomit.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well I'm I'm like I can see.
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: The nugget in my It's why because like I don't
• 55:32
  Speaker 4: eat real chicken sandwiches because somebody described it to me like,
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: this is how picky I am.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Somebody described it to me.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: As a large nugget, and that the idea of that
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: disgusted me, Like not a grilled chicken sandwich, like like
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: a like a crispy chicken sandwich, like what you would
• 55:48
  Speaker 4: get at Wendy's.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: The idea of it being a giant nugget disgusted me
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: to the point where I was like, I could never
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: eat that anymore, and now I will never eat it
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Wendy's again.
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: No, well that's tough.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: It's rare that I do.
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: I was trying not to say Popeyes, but I should
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: have stuck with my gut and stuck with Popeyes.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Popeyes is Popeyes is good.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I have like it's a moody,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: but if I had to, like, like I have one
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: that has to say, I think it'd be Wendy's because
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: Wendy has a lot of options. One thing that you
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: hope people remember about you.
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: That you're a woman of God.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: MoMA would love that.
• 56:29
  Speaker 4: That I was always true to myself because in this
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: world world is one thing, this industry that we're in.
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: It's so easy to say what's popular, or to do
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: what's popular, or to try to like appease a certain audience,
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: or do something to like get a job and be
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: friends with someone you know, like in that kind of thing.
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: But at the end of the day, I can always
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: say I'm me and like, whatever I did, I did
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: it because I wanted to do it. You might not
• 56:57
  Speaker 4: agree with it, but I did it because I it
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: is true to myself.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's the same.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: One of my very good friends said to me this
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: week that I am the most authentic person that they know.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: For better or worse.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Dumb shit, smart shit, you are annoying shit, ridiculous shit,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: dangerous shit. I'm just I have a really hard time pretending,
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: and so I hope that that is what people remember
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: me for. It is being authentic, for better or worse,
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: That they will.
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think that that's rare. It is so
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: many people are trying to be somebody they or not.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it makes sense, you know, but I get
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: it's it's more comfortable to wear the skin of another person, see,
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: but not for me. No for me me either either.
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: It's very frustrating. What personality trait you think is most
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: associated with success.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: Ambition? Is that a personality trait?
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you've an ambitious person.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: I realize that I'm bad at this kind of stuff.
• 58:05
  Speaker 4: Why people are like, I'm gonna do a plug here
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: shout out to Nina Westbrook and her wellness app Nebby.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: The first thing that app does is ask you how
• 58:14
  Speaker 4: you feel, like, to like pinpoint your emotion. I'm terrible
• 58:18
  Speaker 4: at that. You ask me how I'm feeling. I'm like,
• 58:20
  Speaker 4: I'm good, I'm okay. Those aren't feelings, right, and I
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: struggle with that.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: I learned that in therapy. So that's why I'm like,
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: is that an emotion because I'm really bad at that?
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: No? No, but a personality trait. Okay, being an ambitious
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: person is a personality traits. I would say discipline because
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I think you have to in order to be a
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: successful person. I'm not inherently be I don't think so.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: I think you're you're more disciplined than you are giving
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: yourself credit for.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't describe myself as a disciplined person, but I can't.
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: I can force myself to be disciplined.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: You're not going to therapy until twenty twenty six. You're
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: not out here breaking hearts.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: You read you are a successful woman. You definitely are disciplined.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: You're more disciplined than you're giving yourself card for. You're
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: a picky eater that you just gave up chick.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: I can't believe me.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: I almost like, if I didn't think it was gonna
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: make you throw up, I would send you the video
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: of what chicken nuggets are.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I eat everything. I mean, I'm a cow
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: like I just like what am I?
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: The only thing I don't eat is like eel sea urchin,
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: hot dogs, and cottage cheese.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: And I was gonna say because I I don't do cheese.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: I don't eat cheese at all. But it's just because
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: it stinks, Like what do I mean, it's smell it.
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: If somebody was eating cheese right now, I could smell
• 59:43
  Speaker 4: it like I like the smell of cheese disguise.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: I cannot imagine this planet without cheese. It would be
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: intolerable for me to live on this planet without cheese
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: cheese at all.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: I can smell it from a mile away. It smells
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: like feet.
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: What is your favorit? Food?
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: Pork chops?
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: But it's so random, and it's so easy to find
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: about porko. You're gonna make them, you make them, make them, well, I'll.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: Go to a restaurant.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 4: Like if I if I go to a restaurant and
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: I see pork chops on the menu, I'm getting it
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: close the menu were done.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: I really like pork chops, but I kind of need
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: them to be homemade, like I need my mom to
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: make them.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: Or like someone who knows how to make the More than.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Happy to about you over for a good chop. Wait,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: what were we saying? Not cheese, not something about.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: Throw up.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: This is the thing. It doesn't matter what you say
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: about it. I'm gonna eat it. What a hot dog?
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: I don't care. I never get to have them anymore.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: But we're going to a baseball game.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 4: What do you mean you don't get I'm not gonna
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: have one at home. I'm not gonna make it just
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 4: for fun at the house. It's like a tree, It's
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: like a cookie.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: They go to a baseball game. I'm gonna get.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: Out of cooking hot dogs at home is diabolical. And
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: you don't have children.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Why are you making hot dogs? I am not trusting someone.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: It's like yo, I'm making hot dogs and I like
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: the food, grilling them like like a barbie if you're grilling. Yeah,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: but you can't just be just grilling hot dogs like
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: you gotta throw some other meat.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: I'm making them at home.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Someonemost like I called someone like, oh what are you doing?
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: Like I'm making dinner, like what are you having hot dogs?
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: And'll be like serial killer. There's no way you can't
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: take you seriously? Yes, you like you had like and
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: there are childlike foods that are acceptable, like you're making
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: a grilled cheese like cool, well you don't eat cheese,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: but like you know, it's just a sandwich.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: But I'm making hot dogs.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: Crazy, just have hot dogs in your house to make
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: its crazy.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not apologizing anyone to do this either. Thank you
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: so much for coming by.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: It was so did you want me to ask you?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: Did we do that?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: You have questions for me? That's our first time doing
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: for you. Okay. I love this.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, something even though ours wasn't rapid. Something you can't
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: travel without something.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: I can't travel with that.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: My like nighttime routine, like and I have to keep
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: it like on person, I don't like checking it.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: It's very expensive and yeah, really.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: Good, you stick to it. I pass out a lot
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: when I go to sleep and I forget, like that night.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: First jersey you ever owned, first jersey I ever owned,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: was Michael Michael Jordan for sure.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: I was like Michael, No, my mom is a Collage fan.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: Do you know this America's team?
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: No?
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: I did not know.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: My mom is a Cowageman.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: But yeah, my Pittsburgh. That's interesting.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: It makes no sense. But she loved EMTT Smith and
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: she's a rebel.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: I yeah, love that. I wonder where you.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: Get it from.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: One word that describes twenty twenty five so far?
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: Very transformative. Oh, it's very transformative here.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's positive.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to be more positive.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: That's positive. I love that.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: Good for you an artist or group you want to
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: see in concert?
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Ooh, I that's good because I don't really like to
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: go to big concerts that often. Like I loved Beyonce.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: I go to Beyonce a few times. Bad Bunny, who's
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: an artist i'd wanted to see? You know, I really
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: want to see Lauren Hill, but I'm not waiting.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: No, don't wait. I saw her. I saw her performing
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: to be Easy Award, so I got lucky she had
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: to be on time.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not waiting, but I do want to see
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: Lauren Hill.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: I would want to see Lauren Hill too. Yeah, okay,
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: this is really rare.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: You know what.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: I want to see Bado too.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: Er I saw eric Abadu at Camp Flogna Tyler the
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: Creator thing, and she was twenty five minutes late and
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 4: they cut her mid set, and I thought, oh, this
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: is Erica just being Erica, just like doing a little
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: something something to get No, they cut her mic and
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: escorted her right off the stage, but she was great
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: until then. And I'm from Dallas, so like there's a yeah,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: I love I'm with her amazing amaz concert. Something you've
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: let slide in relationships that you should have.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: Caught early insecurity.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: Oh we don't talk enough about that.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: Insecurity.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: That's the root of all evil and relationship.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: Really is it.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: It bothers me so deeply when people out insecure. I
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: have to call it out immediately. If it's consistent, it's
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: a real red flag.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: And I am so.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: Thoroughly trained in the fire of Souron to deal with
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: insecure people, and particularly insecure men, So I am just
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: a terrible person to be with if you're insecure, I
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: am not going to make you feel better.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: If a man told you that they were insecure, would
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: that make it easier for you?
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, But the solution cannot be that I am going
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: to constantly be catering to your insecure sit like. The
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: solution has to be, Okay, what do you need from
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: me that is reasonable to make you feel less insecure
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: about our relationship?
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: Why are you insecure? And what are you doing to
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: be less insecure? Like?
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: And if any of those things inconvenience me in any way,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that with it.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: I've never had a man tell me that they were
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 4: actually insecure. I knew they were, but they never so
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 4: I was just yeah.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've had a man recently tell me that
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: that he was insecure, which I already knew, but I
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: actually thought it was big of him that he admitted
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: that because he did not seem like he was on
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: the path to accountability for that. But my hope for
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: him is that, and really anybody who's insecure is that
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: you understand that this is not No one is going
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: to make you secure. Yeah, And so often when and
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: it really just isn't even in like interpersonal relationships like friendships,
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: friends can be insecure that like I am the wrong
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: motherfucker to interact with. If you're insecure, I am not
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: going to make you feel better, especially if I have
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: done nothing to make you insecure. You and me walking
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: away from the conversation upset and I'm not apologizing you
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: know what.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 4: I think you know that about yourself and like it
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: is what it is, right, So like beware, I guess
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: I'll say I'm not the fucking one.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's really just you trauma dumping on me,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: and you're trying to take advantage of the fact that
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: I care about you, and you think that I'm going
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: to allow you to like dump all this negative energy
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: on me and I'm going to absorb it.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: And it's a no.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: What do you need is a therapist or medication or whatever.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: But you're not about to make me escapegoat for your
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: inability to look in the mirror and like yourself, yeah,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: or trust other people.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 4: Are you trying to bring me down because you feel
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 4: a certain way. That's what I've dealt with in the past.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: Last one which Capricorn trait? Do you relate to the most.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: I would say probably being a workaholic is the obvious one,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: but I'm also a vicious. I'm a vicious on off switch.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: Like I think, yeah, that's a cap for I'll be like,
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: what did you say? I'll never speaking to that person again.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: They don't even know that this is the last time
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: I'm ever interacting.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: I read there's power in that.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: I literally saw something about that today that like there's
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 4: real power, and like people don't even know that they've
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 4: been cut off by you, but they are.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: And you don't have to say anything, you don't have
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: to do anything goodbye.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: It's just it's just I do. Also sometimes it's not
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: even like.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes in business, like you have to continue working
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: with people or things like that, but when the emotional
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: cord is cut, like I can literally work with you
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: every day and not give a single fuck if you exist.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: Or not the next time.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 4: I think that is an Earth sign trade. I'm a
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 4: Taurus and I'm the same way like when I'm down,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 4: I'm down. I'm fiercely loyal to a fault, but once
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 4: that has ended, I feel nothing.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: That's one of my favorite sayings. I feel nothing.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: I feel nothing. I can't even I'm like you might
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: as will be a rock.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Like's not you don't even have a thing, Like you're
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: not even a plant that can die.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: Like you just are literally nothing, a slab.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: I love that for us.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: Oh I can't.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine it, like I can't imagine being any
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: other way. I'm gonna just deal with people should forever.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a window.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: Oh and it's it's it really is a light switch.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: It's like on and then off. But when it's on.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: And they don't, they be so mad because they know
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: they fucked up. They can see it, like my eyes
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: go cold.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: I'm like a vampire's how the light goes away.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: I'm with you, Bye bye, Felicia the Rach Lindsay Lindsay
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: with a Higher Learning with Van leythen new episodes on
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Fridays on YouTube. Make sure that you follow
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: her on social media. Be nice to her because she's
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: my friend, and I will send you bad energy.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: That's the kind of friend you want.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: I love that. Thanks for coming by. Love that conversation
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: with Rachel.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: Make sure you go and follow her on social media
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: and check out her in Van's podcast Higher Learning. So
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: Now it's time to get to never too personal. This
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: is a very tough question. How do I love myself?
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: So I really like this question because for many years,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: when I would hear.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: Things like, you know, you need to love yourself first, girl,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: or you know, loving yourself is really important, I would
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: always be like it, Okay, that's that's that shit. Single
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: people say like, oh, love yourself, Like, no, I'm gonna
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna find somebody else to love me. Thanks for
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: you know, projecting your sad singleness on me. But loving
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: yourself is much bigger than loving yourself in space of
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: a relationship.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 3: It took me a.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: Long time to understand the concept of loving yourself. It
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: took me a long time to be brave enough to
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: love myself, and it took me a long time to
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: really understand and what that statement means. Because it's not
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: about loving yourself so that you don't have anyone else
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: love you. It's about setting proper boundaries. It's about celebrating
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: the things that you like in yourself. It's about having
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: accountability for the things that you want to better in yourself.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: It's about knowing yourself thoroughly, knowing the things that trigger
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: you knowing the things that excite you, knowing the things
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: that make you feel safe and comfortable, the things that
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: motivate you, the type of environments that you want to
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: be around. Loving yourself is really, in my opinion, understanding
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: and respecting yourself and not allowing yourself to be manipulated
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: into thinking that you're lesser than or the things that
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: you desire or that make you happy are unrealistic or
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: not right for you. And you know, as we go
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: through life, and this is men and women, we're constantly
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: told that the things that we want.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: Are not right.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: Like we get pushed into spaces where our motivations are
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: changed because of economics, or because of family, or because
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: of obligations, and oftentimes we're also traumatized.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: So the trueness and the love that we have for
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: ourselves is diminished.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: I think through the experiences that we have, people that
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: really love themselves are the most confident because they love
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: the whole of who they are, the things that they're
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: not proud of, the mistakes that they've made, the scars
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: that they have, the experiences that they have, and they
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: know what they can offer the world. So how to
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: get to that point is to put together a path
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: that will allow you to reach that. I think boundaries
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: are incredibly important. I think putting people around you that
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: encourage you in a positive way, that point out the
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: things that are great about you, that are kind enough
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: to be gently honest with you when you are going astray,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: to put yourselves in environments that make you happy, that
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: inspire you to do the things that you like to do,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: and to prioritize yourself. Oftentimes we are encouraged to prioritize
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: everyone else but ourselves. We're called selfish if we don't
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: prioritize ourselves. And the word selfish is it's a very
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: loaded term and it's almost always associated with negativity.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: But sometimes you have to be selfish in order to
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: be whole.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: And the simplest way I can put it is you
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: can't pour into other people if you are not full,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: and loving yourself is just making sure that you are
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: always full. So I hope that helps, and thank you
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: so much for the question. If you want to be
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: a part of the show, to Personal Podcasts at gmail
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: dot com, or you can dm us at two Personal
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: Show and all of our social medias. Make sure that
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: you subscribe and we will catch you next week,