Latest / The Diva Details / Diva Mia: The Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal: A New Era of Accountability

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Diva Mia: The Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal: A New Era of Accountability · The Diva Details

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  Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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  Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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  From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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  No filters, no limits. Just fearless conversations to help you thrive.
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  Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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  Well, hello, beautiful souls. It's your girl, Mia, from the Diva Details.
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  I just wanted to dive deep a little bit into some real truths today,
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  some real stuff about love, about healing, and leveling up.
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  So today I wanted to talk a little bit about the Coldplay episode that went
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  on with the lying and cheating that was obvious at the event,
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  and why sometimes it feels like you're surrounded by people that just lie and
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  you're surrounded by people that cheat.
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  And just to recap, a couple was caught on the Coldplay kiss cam, if you didn't see it.
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  I think everybody's pretty much seen a meme of it by now.
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  But what happened was they tried to duck out of sight.
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  They tried to hide the fact that they were together. They were first snuggling in like an arm embrace.
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  And then as soon as they got on camera, they tried to duck out.
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  And then Coldplay goes, wow, either they're having an affair or they're just really shy.
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  What ended up happening was it was found out that both people were married to other people.
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  And it's gone viral all over the Internet. There's a meme of people ducking
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  out of scenes over and over again.
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  I think what's happening is we are changing from a cultural significance of
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  anything goes, which is where we've been for the last decade.
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  Of people can do anything with anyone and behave poorly to more of a conservative
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  nature back to values and honor and integrity and respect.
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  The fact that this episode was getting so much airtime and so many people are
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  making fun of it makes you realize how socially unacceptable lying and cheating is.
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  The reality is when people lie and cheat, if they're doing it to their spouse,
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  They're going to do it in business.
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  They're going to do it to their friends. They have no moral compass.
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  Because people that do this basically are lying and cheating on a vow that they.
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  Stated they would love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health till death do they part.
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  And if someone makes a vow like that and then goes back on their words,
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  why would you want to be in business with them?
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  Why would you want to be friends with them? Heck, why would you want to date them?
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  You have to really take into consideration the people that lie and cheat often.
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  They do it over and over again.
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  And I think that the digital age is putting it up in people's faces more.
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  I'm actually kind of interested in the idea that since everyone is slamming
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  this couple, and don't get me wrong, I do feel greatly for the family because
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  I know they're going to go through a lot.
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  I've been there. I've seen it. They're going to go through a lot.
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  Both families, both cheaters were married to other people.
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  So both of their families are getting destroyed right now.
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  And once a infidelity or cheating and lying occurs, you never get that trust back.
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  Even if the spouse decides to stay and forgive, the trust is gone forever.
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  It never truly comes back. It's always going to be there.
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  So realize if you cheat on someone, you're showing them that you don't love them.
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  You're showing them disrespect, the ultimate disrespect.
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  And it's not the person that got cheated on. It's not their fault.
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  The people that get cheated on, honestly, a lot of times are clueless that it's even going on.
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  Sometimes they're in a happy marriage, sometimes it's not. But it doesn't really
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  matter, because if you cheat on your spouse, it's more about you disrespecting other people.
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  And honestly, it's disrespectful to yourself, because you're doing things that
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  you know are wrong, and you're weakening your character.
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  You're weakening your own self-worth.
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  There's no such thing as private anymore. So if you're going to cheat,
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  betrayal is on the internet.
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  Betrayal can be at a restaurant. You could be in the background of somebody's
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  picture and somebody sees it.
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  And I know there's apps and information pages that people go on and they post,
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  are you dating the same guy as I am?
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  And because they can do picture searches.
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  So the idea of you getting away with cheating, it's long gone.
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  I think almost every time someone cheats, if not every time they know and they
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  get found out for cheating. It's publicly shameful.
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  It's destroying friends. It's destroying families. It's destroying children.
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  The children are the ones that suffer the most.
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  There's digital receipts that will end up being found, and then the divorce
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  on these couples will be a mess.
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  This is the era of accountability. If you're not going to step up and show your
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  worth, have integrity, and be an honorable person, you're going to get called out on it.
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  All of this cameras, not just on cheating, but being deceptive or being nasty
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  to other people or treating other people poorly.
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  Think about the Karen situation. Karen is now a household name for somebody
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  that goes crazy and overreacts on someone and acts all entitled.
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  And that was on a video cam. That wasn't a proper behavior. And now when you're
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  behaving badly, everyone knows.
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  You're going to get caught, whether you think you will or not,
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  whether it's cheating or behaving badly or lying.
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  You're going to get caught, and someone's going to video it.
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  You might be the next butt of someone's joke.
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  So I want you to think carefully about who you are as a person and why you are
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  so damaged that you take it upon yourself to damage other people.
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  Why are you so messed up that you think it's okay to be bad?
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  And I use the word bad because they knew it was wrong.
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  They knew it was bad or they wanted to duck out of sight. And when you do stuff
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  that's wrong, you feel it inside.
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  Everyone knows what's right and wrong. And when you do stuff that's wrong, you feel it inside.
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  Lying fractures your own identity.
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  Cheating rehearses betrayal as a pattern, not just a moment.
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  You're constantly trying to lie to people, make up stories, cheat,
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  and you're just trying to humiliate your partner, which is also,
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  quite frankly, just cruel.
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  So now you're a cruel, lying, mean, vindictive, nasty person.
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  Your partner really didn't do anything to deserve that.
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  Why would you do that to a person? And then you get caught.
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  And then you wonder why you lose your job. Well, you lost your job because nobody
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  wants to associate with cheaters.
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  People are really starting to distance themselves from people that have this type of lifestyle.
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  It's one thing if you were in an open marriage and you guys had agreed.
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  But if you're cheating and being deceptive to your partner and being nasty,
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  nobody's going to want to deal with you. And you're going to become a pariah.
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  You're going to be off on your own. And you've done it to yourself.
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  So I want people to start self-reflecting. Every lie that you create or state,
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  it chips away at your confidence. It chips away at your clarity and your ability
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  to connect to other people.
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  When you lie to other people or you're deceptive, you're turning into a person
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  you may not recognize in the future.
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  And people think it's just a small lie. They think, oh, I can just lie about something small.
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  But every small lie leads to a bigger lie.
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  This is the other thing. If you find that your partner is lying to you a lot
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  about anything, I would be expecting cheating to come in the future because people start off lying.
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  And then what happens is eventually they cheat on their spouse.
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  People start off lying, they end up going to jail.
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  Society doesn't put up with disrespectful people like this that totally intentionally
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  try to harm other people. And that's really what it is.
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  Deception, lies, cheating, all of those things are there to hurt other people.
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  You should be working with the
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  golden rule in mind and only do things that you would have done to you.
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  When you're lying to other people, you think that, you know,
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  you're getting one over on them or whatnot, or you're getting away with something,
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  but you're honestly, you're just lying to yourself. You have to lie to yourself first.
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  And you have to convince yourself that it's okay to lie.
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  You have to convince yourself that it's okay to cheat. And that changes you.
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  You may turn into a person you don't recognize.
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  You can't lie to others without lying to yourself first.
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  You know, you're going to also have a life of paranoia and the cortisol.
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  I mean, don't even get me started. You're going to have stress from it.
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  It's not going to be pleasurable. You may even gain weight because you're lying
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  so much. You're not free.
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  You've created a prison in your mind for yourself.
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  Because now you've got all kinds of lies you've got to constantly juggle and
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  you're trying to manage a cover-up for no reason.
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  If you're bored in life, don't lie, don't cheat, go get a hobby.
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  If you want a better marriage, work on your marriage. If you can't get a bear
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  in a marriage and you've tried everything, get a divorce because the fallout from betrayal is nasty.
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  You're gonna lose friends. Your friends are gonna have to pick sides.
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  There's a ripple effect with your children. They're going to distrust you.
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  They're going to distrust others. They might even feel abandoned.
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  They're never going to look at you the same way. You're never going to look
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  at yourself the same way.
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  In fact, once you start cheating, you may not be looking at yourself the same
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  way now. You're going to lose credibility.
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  And I think that people don't realize the credibility and the respect that other
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  people are going to have for you is going to go down so low that you're going
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  to lose so much business, especially if you own a company.
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  People just aren't going to want to work with you. For instance,
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  I don't want friends in my life that are cheating on their spouses.
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  If I find out one of my friends is cheating on their spouse, I let them go.
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  I don't associate with people that have such low moral characters.
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  So you have to make that decision. You have to mirror what you're giving.
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  Now, if you're making this decision to not be with people that cheat because
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  you can't handle their deception, then you should be honest with people and
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  you shouldn't be deceptive.
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  What you do to others, you have to practice yourself.
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  You can't lie to people and then expect to hold everyone else to a different
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  standard. You have to hold yourself to the highest standard.
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  You need to become someone you respect again. and I'm not saying you can't redeem
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  yourself because there are people that do but you got to take accountability
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  first you got to own your mistakes you got to truly know why you did it and
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  then you got to ask for forgiveness but the reality is a lot of cheaters don't
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  they don't go to therapy they don't own their mistakes they don't take accountability
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  and then they just go and they do it again and then you realize that you're just a broken person.
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  Now you're not, and I repeat this, you are not past redemption.
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  You can heal yourself and you can return to a life where things are more normal,
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  but you're going to have to work at it.
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  Being honest, it's magnetic.
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  People like honesty. They like vulnerability.
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  They like people that will tell them the truth, even if it's not what the person
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  wants to hear. In this world, we're all craving integrity and dating.
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  We're craving integrity in business and in friendship.
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  We want people to tell us the truth.
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  And I think the more people that change, as we're coming into an enlightened
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  age, because you can't get away with it anymore.
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  But the reality is, is you should have never been trying to get away with it.
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  You should always be honest. If you're unhappy, leave.
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  Leave your date, leave your girlfriend, leave your boyfriend, leave your spouse.
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  Leave your company. Leave the friendship.
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  Don't go down the way of cheating and being dishonest. If you're tempted, reflect on yourself.
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  If you're feeling lost, you got to own it. Maybe you need to go to therapy.
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  Maybe you need to go to couples therapy, but you need to work out what's going on in your head.
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  Emotional and mental health is so important because if you don't own it and
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  you don't control it, it will end up leading to heartbreak.
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  Possibly diseases, because a lot of our diseases are caused by trauma and some
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  of the trauma is self-inflicted.
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  Don't lie to your partner and tell him you love him. That's so disrespectful.
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  Don't lie and act like everything's right and then call it love.
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  And don't lie to yourself.
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  I think a lot of people get into relationships with people they shouldn't be
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  getting into relationships with and then they lie to keep the relationship going.
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  And then they feel like a phony and then they end up cheating.
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  I've seen that happen too. I saw a friend do that and it's just not the way
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  to go because she lost me as a friend. You got to be honest.
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  And honesty doesn't always save the relationship, but you know what?
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  It's going to save your soul.
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  Your soul and your core will feel like you are at least being honest with the other person.
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  And I'm not saying honesty is just about affairs, sometimes it's just you need
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  to be honest that you're not into the other person.
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  Or you need to be honest that you are into the other person.
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  I think people hold back so much because they're so afraid of getting hurt.
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  But the reality is, is honesty, vulnerability is all part of integrity.
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  If you are the one that got cheated on, just remember you didn't deserve it.
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  The betrayal is a reflection of them, not your worth. It always is.
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  If they're going around having affairs, it's just not the right person for you.
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  You've got to reclaim your self-respect, too. It's going to be a process because
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  it is so disrespectful what they did to you.
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  But don't let their lie become your new identity. It's tough, and I get it.
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  Life will go on and you will be better. Don't romanticize the potential of a
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  person you're with if they're hurting you or dishonoring you.
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  You've got to stop trying to play to men's potential because that's what a lot of women do.
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  If a man isn't stepping up now, he won't. If a man is not doing what he needs
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  to do to be there for you, he won't.
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  Think about it this way. We need more truth in this world. We need more healing of this world.
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  We need to support each other. We need to love each other and love on each other.
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  And I'm not saying God has sex with a lot of people. Believe me,
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  I'm not. But what I'm saying is we need to be truthful to each other so we can
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  be truthful to ourselves.
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  Don't chase love because when love is right, it will just flow.
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  Live with integrity in every aspect of your life and you're going to find someone
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  that has integrity back.
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  Don't leave yourself open and vulnerable to people that lie and cheat though
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  because everyone needs to heal. or we leave ourselves open.
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  Know this, you were never the problem, but now you get to become the solution for yourself.
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  But you gotta wake up to the truth, and you gotta walk your own truth.
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  So when you can, I hope you subscribe, like, and leave us a comment. We love to hear from you.
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  Your worth is not up for negotiation. You are loved, and you need to love yourself.
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  This is Diva Mia. I hope you have a wonderful day. Take care.
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