Latest / Profitable Christian Business / Are You Trying to Be Loved… or Trying to Show Love?
Transcript
- 0:00The hidden motivation that might be holding back your business.
- 0:02Welcome back to the Profitable Christian Business Podcast.
- 0:05Today I want to talk about something that has been on my heart lately.
- 0:08And honestly, this isn't really a business lesson.
- 0:11At least not directly.
- 0:12It's a life lesson.
- 0:14That just happens to affect every area of business.
- 0:16Because I believe one of the biggest reasons entrepreneurs get stuck has nothing to do with marketing, nothing to do with sales, nothing to do with funnels, nothing to do with
- 0:24strategy.
- 0:25I think it has everything to do with motivation.
- 0:29Specifically.
- 0:30The difference between wanting to be loved and choosing to show love.
- 0:33Now at first glance, that might sound like a small distinction, a subtle difference, a play on words, but I don't think it is.
- 0:39In fact, I think it changes everything.
- 0:42It changes how you lead, how you sell, how you market, how you network, how you parent, how you build relationships, and even how you handle success and failure.
- 0:51So let me explain.
- 0:51Most people spend their lives trying to be loved, trying to be accepted, trying to be validated, trying to be approved of, trying to be noticed, trying to be enough.
- 0:59And if we're honest, entrepreneurs aren't immune to this.
- 1:02In fact, sometimes entrepreneurship becomes the vehicle we use to chase approval.
- 1:06We tell ourselves we're building a business, but underneath the surface, we're building a case, a case for why we're valuable, a case for why we're successful, a case for why
- 1:15people should respect us, a case for why people should pay attention.
- 1:18And here's the problem you'll never get enough of it because approval is a moving target.
- 1:23You hit one goal and suddenly there's another.
- 1:25You make your first six figures, then you want seven.
- 1:28You get recognition.
- 1:29Then you want more recognition.
- 1:31You get attention.
- 1:32Then you need more attention.
- 1:33It's like drinking salt water.
- 1:35The more you consume, the thirstier you become.
- 1:37And I think we've all been there.
- 1:39I know I have.
- 1:40We've all had moments where we wanted the likes, the comments, the praise, the applause, the acknowledgement, the recognition.
- 1:46We wanted somebody to say, You're doing a good job, and there's nothing wrong with encouragement, but there is something dangerous about needing it.
- 1:54Because when your goal is to be loved, fear becomes your operating system.
- 1:57You're afraid of rejection.
- 1:59Afraid of criticism, afraid of failure, afraid of disappointing people, afraid of looking foolish.
- 2:03Why?
- 2:04Because your identity is tied to their response.
- 2:06And that's exhausting.
- 2:08It's exhausting because people are inconsistent.
- 2:10One day they cheer for you.
- 2:11The next day they criticize you.
- 2:12One day they support you.
- 2:13The next day they ignore you.
- 2:15If your peace depends on public opinion, you'll never have much peace.
- 2:18But something changes.
- 2:20When you shift from wanting to be love to choosing to show love.
- 2:23Because now the focus isn't on what you're getting, it's on what you're giving.
- 2:26Instead of asking,
- 2:28How do I get people to like me?
- 2:29You start asking, I how do I serve them instead of asking, how do I get attention?
- 2:35You ask, how do I create value?
- 2:37instead of asking, what can I receive?
- 2:41You ask, what can I contribute?
- 2:43And that's where freedom begins, because showing love comes from abundance.
- 2:46Trying to be loved usually comes from scarcity.
- 2:49One says, I need something from you.
- 2:51The other says, I have something for you.
- 2:54But that's a completely different posture.
- 2:56And here's where faith enters the conversation.
- 2:58As Christians, we should understand this better than anyone, because our identity isn't supposed to come from people.
- 3:03It's supposed to come from Christ.
- 3:04Think about Jesus.
- 3:05Jesus didn't spend his ministry trying to get everybody to approve of him.
- 3:09If he had, he would have changed the message.
- 3:12He would have avoided hard truths.
- 3:13He would have compromised.
- 3:14He would have told people what they wanted to hear.
- 3:16Instead, he showed love, even when it cost him, even when people misunderstood him, even when people rejected him, even when people walked away.
- 3:23That's a radically different way to live.
- 3:26And I think it's a radically different way to build a business.
- 3:28Imagine how your marketing changes.
- 3:30When you're trying to help instead of impress.
- 3:32Imagine how your sales conversations change.
- 3:35When you're trying to serve instead of convince.
- 3:37Imagine how networking changes.
- 3:39When you're trying to give instead of get.
- 3:41Imagine how leadership changes.
- 3:43When you're trying to develop people instead of needing their approval, everything changes.
- 3:46And here's the irony.
- 3:47The people who stop chasing approval usually end up making a bigger impact.
- 3:51Why?
- 3:52Because authenticity attracts, generosity attracts.
- 3:55Service attracts.
- 3:56People can sense the difference.
- 3:57They know when you're trying to help them and they know when you're trying to use them.
- 4:01One creates trust, the other creates resistance.
- 4:03So let me ask you a question.
- 4:05And this is a question I've been asking myself lately.
- 4:07Why am I really doing this?
- 4:08Why am I building this business?
- 4:09Why am I pursuing this goal?
- 4:11Why am I posting this content?
- 4:12Why am I chasing this opportunity?
- 4:14What's the real motivation?
- 4:15Am I trying to be loved or am I trying to show love?
- 4:18Because those motivations lead to very different destinations.
- 4:21One creates fear, the other creates freedom.
- 4:24One creates pressure.
- 4:25The other creates purpose, one creates anxiety, the other creates peace.
- 4:28And here's what I've found in my own life.
- 4:30The closer I stay to Christ, the less I need validation from people.
- 4:33And not because I'm stronger, not because I'm more disciplined, but because I'm remembering where my identity comes from.
- 4:39If my identity is in Christ, then I don't have to earn it from everyone else.
- 4:43I can serve freely, give freely, love freely, lead freely because I'm already loved.
- 4:48And and that's the shift.
- 4:49We're not showing love so that we'll be loved.
- 4:51We're showing love because we already are.
- 4:53Let that sink in for a moment.
- 4:54We're not showing love so that we'll be loved.
- 4:56We're showing love because we already are.
- 4:59And when that truth settles into your heart, it changes everything.
- 5:02So this week, before your next sales call, before your next networking event, before your next piece of content, before your next business decision, pause.
- 5:12Take a breath, then ask yourself one simple question.
- 5:15Am I trying to be loved or am I trying to show love?
- 5:17Because the answer may reveal more than you think.
- 5:20Keep moving forward.
- 5:21God bless.
- 5:22And I'll see you in the next episode.