Latest / Alignment With Jenn / (52) THE FEAR OF BEING SEEN IS COSTING YOU YOUR DREAMS✨STOP HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

Transcript

(52) THE FEAR OF BEING SEEN IS COSTING YOU YOUR DREAMS✨STOP HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT · Alignment With Jenn

0:00
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Alignment with
0:03
Jen podcast. I'm your host Jen Dizzy and
0:06
today we are going to be talking about one of my absolute
0:08
favorite topics, which is the fear of being seen.
0:11
The fear of visibility. This is something that comes up
0:14
for almost every single business owner or purpose LED human being
0:19
that I work with, whether it's an author, an actress, a
0:22
screenwriter, anything like that.
0:24
The thing about the fear of being seen is that it is such a
0:28
challenging fear because it literally is a fear that
0:31
prevents you from doing the things that your soul came here
0:34
to do. So I believe that every single
0:37
person came here with a specific purpose, and that purpose can be
0:42
anything. It can be being a mother, it can
0:44
be being an actress, it can be being a writer, it can be having
0:47
your own business. But we all have a specific
0:50
purpose. And what I've seen in my work
0:52
with thousands of women is that there becomes a point in a
0:56
person's life where the old no longer works.
0:59
Maybe it's a nine to five. That's what it was for me.
1:02
And it just doesn't feel like it is working anymore.
1:06
And then this desire for something greater begins to
1:10
awaken. And this can happen at any age,
1:12
any stage of life. But it's almost like you can't
1:15
Unsee the fact that there's something more that your soul
1:18
came here to do. I always imagine it of like your
1:21
soul is like knocking at the door and it's your decision
1:24
whether or not you open that door.
1:26
And sadly, I think the majority of people do not open the door.
1:30
They do not listen to this call because of the fear of being
1:34
seen, the fear of judgment of what people are going to think
1:37
if I start to put my work into the world.
1:40
Because it's incredibly vulnerable to put something from
1:43
your heart, something from your soul into the world and face the
1:48
judgment, face the criticism that could happen from that.
1:51
And so my goal with this episode is to help you begin to overcome
1:55
that fear so you can put out into the world the beautiful
1:59
work that your soul came here to create.
2:02
I came up with this idea a few years ago and I love it.
2:04
It's this idea of the energetic invisibility cloak.
2:08
So, you know, in Harry Potter, when he puts on his invisibility
2:11
cloak and you can't see him and he's able to navigate the castle
2:14
and all sorts of things and get into so much mischief because no
2:16
one can see him. The same thing happens when you
2:19
fear being seen, except for it's not as mischievous.
2:23
You have this energetic invisibility cloak, meaning that
2:26
when you fear on a nervous system level, on a subconscious
2:30
level, that people are going to judge you or something bad is
2:34
going to happen. If you are seen, if you are more
2:38
visible, then it creates almost like this invisibility cloak
2:43
over you, this energetic invisibility cloak that makes it
2:46
hard for your content to be seen, for your writing to be
2:49
seen, for people to recognize you and notice you and see your
2:53
gifts. And what I have seen is as you
2:56
do this work, which I'll share with you in this episode, you
3:00
are able to clear that. And it's almost like magic that
3:03
you will begin to receive more opportunities, more exposure,
3:07
because suddenly you're more open.
3:09
You are a more open, a more magnetic channel to share the
3:13
work that you came here to share.
3:14
When we have these fears, it's like we're a clogged channel and
3:18
our light, our magnetism, our creative ideas cannot flow as
3:23
easily. So what we want to do is we want
3:25
to remove that energetic invisibility cloak and be seen
3:29
be able to share our gifts with the world.
3:32
Because the truth is that there is a cost to not sharing your
3:35
gifts. There is a cost to not living
3:38
your purpose, not just on a soul level that your soul hello,
3:41
doesn't get to fulfill the work that it really came here to do.
3:44
It's I mean, that's kind of a big deal, right?
3:46
But it's also this idea, and I've mentioned this in many
3:49
episodes of the idea of the unlived life.
3:51
This is something that Carl Jung, the psychologist, talked
3:54
about tons and tons and tons throughout his work.
3:57
And it's this idea that we live an unlived life, is a life that
4:02
is lived almost like where the thermostat isn't fully turned
4:05
up, the volume isn't fully turned up.
4:08
You're in a shadow calling. You're in a career or a work or
4:12
a path that doesn't feel quite right to you.
4:15
You know exactly when I say those words.
4:17
You know if that's true for you or not, even if you don't want
4:20
to consciously admit it. And it's living your life as
4:23
this smaller version of yourself.
4:25
It's your desires not being fully expressed.
4:28
It's your fears not being fully overcome.
4:30
And it creates this shrunken sort of life.
4:34
A couple episodes ago, I did a conversation around the regrets
4:37
of the dying. And one of the regrets of the
4:39
dying is that they didn't have the courage to go after their
4:42
real dreams. And that was one of the massive
4:44
regrets that people had on their deathbed.
4:47
And that's something that happens if you allow these fears
4:50
to prevent you. And these fears can show up in
4:53
tons of ways. And I'll share a little bit more
4:55
about that. So there's this unlived life,
4:58
right? That can happen.
4:59
So it's not fully tapping into your purpose.
5:02
But I believe that that has financial repercussions.
5:04
It also has health repercussions.
5:06
It also has repercussions on your relationships.
5:09
I'm so passionate about this topic because I think our entire
5:12
world would be better if everyone had the courage to step
5:15
into their true purpose and think of financially, right?
5:18
I believe that money flocks to people in their purpose.
5:22
Money is obsessed with people on their purpose.
5:24
Oh my gosh, my best friend, her little sister is so cool and she
5:28
opened up a restaurant. Her and her partner have been
5:30
chefs for a long time. She opened up a restaurant in
5:33
San Francisco, which is a pretty risky endeavor, and it is
5:37
something that I think is not necessarily a traditional path.
5:40
Since she's opened this restaurant, she's had a series
5:42
of these incredible synchronicities that have
5:44
happened for her. Like right now she is
5:47
potentially going to get a really incredible award for this
5:50
restaurant. She has other things.
5:52
I can't even share the full extent of what's happening for
5:54
her. She's received money in
5:55
unexpected ways for following her purpose, right?
5:59
She's been able to fund this and grow this in a way.
6:01
And I believe it's because there's this magnetism that
6:04
happens when a person is so passionate about something, when
6:07
a person is so driven by something that money is
6:11
attracted to, that people want to be around that.
6:15
And people pay for things that they want to be around, right?
6:18
And that same thing can happen for you as you begin to take
6:22
these risks, step into your purpose.
6:24
There's also the loss of opportunities and connections
6:27
and people that you won't meet. Because I believe being in your
6:30
purpose is the most aligned place that you can be.
6:34
It's literally a part of what your soul came here to do.
6:37
And so when you are in that place, people are attracted to
6:41
you that are here for your highest path.
6:45
And so when you're not in that place, right when you're in your
6:47
shadow calling like me, when I was in my 9:00 to 5:00, I didn't
6:50
attract as amazing of relationships.
6:53
I didn't attract as really amazing of opportunities because
6:56
I was living as a fraction of myself.
6:59
And the more that I've stepped into my purpose, the more that I
7:01
feel like I'm a magnet easily for the things that are meant to
7:05
come to me. And then I also do believe that
7:07
when we are living out of alignment, it's detrimental for
7:10
our physical health as well. And I've shared on the podcast
7:13
about this before about I used to have really bad eczema.
7:16
I had really bad skin on my face, I had all sorts of gut
7:19
issues. And I think there was a few
7:22
things that healed that. But one of the biggest ones was
7:24
stepping out of things that weren't aligned for me, right?
7:28
A career that wasn't aligned for me, that was stressful and
7:31
difficult into a path that was far more aligned for me.
7:34
It didn't happen overnight, but it created this massive change.
7:38
And now I feel healthier in my mid 30s than I ever did in my
7:41
20s on really every single level.
7:44
And so when you live out of alignment, there is this
7:47
subconscious peace where energy is being diverted to things that
7:52
don't quite feel right. And that's kind of the best that
7:55
I think I can say it, but I imagine you probably know what I
7:57
mean. Let's talk about this fear of
8:00
being seen. So some people call it the fear
8:02
of visibility, the fear of exposure, the fear of rejection
8:06
is kind of interwoven into there.
8:07
But it's basically this idea of, and it can be on a small scale
8:10
and it can be on a large scale. A small scale could be, I'm so
8:14
afraid of sharing my writing with my family because what will
8:17
they think of it? A large scale could be someone
8:20
who wants to be an actress or a writer or have a big social
8:24
media following or have a big podcast.
8:27
Those things require you to put yourself out there, right?
8:30
I put myself out there every week with this podcast.
8:33
Sometimes I get negative comments.
8:35
I'd say 99% of them are really good, you know, But there's that
8:40
discomfort that people have, and sometimes that 1% of negative
8:44
feedback is enough to hold people back because they think
8:48
it's going to be more than it is.
8:50
What the fear of being seen is, in my opinion, and after many
8:53
conversations on this with many clients, it's really a stack of
8:57
different fears that kind of all weave together. 1 is the fear of
9:01
judgement. Hello, what are people going to
9:03
think of me? And that is actually a really
9:05
primal fear that we have because back in the day, right, hundreds
9:10
of years ago, if we were rejected from the tribe, it was
9:13
very unsafe. It was very difficult for us to
9:15
survive on our own. Nowadays, that's not actually
9:18
the case. You literally could probably
9:19
never leave your house and Uber Eats build your business online
9:23
and you'd be chilling. You'd be good.
9:24
And I imagine there's probably people that do that.
9:26
So we don't need social connection as much to survive,
9:30
right? I believe we need it to thrive
9:32
for health, right? There's all these studies on how
9:34
loneliness is really unhealthy for us.
9:36
We associate that primal fear of rejection.
9:40
And what research has actually shown is that when we are
9:42
rejected, we feel it in the same way.
9:45
It activates the same pain receptors as when we are
9:48
physically harmed. That's how painful rejection is
9:52
for us. And so when we fear rejection
9:55
from putting our work out there into the world, then we will
10:00
resist it, right? I like to give this example.
10:02
And if you can watch the video on this part, if you're on
10:05
Spotify or YouTube, you can see the video.
10:07
I think of your desires, your soul desires as this force
10:11
that's like going in One Direction.
10:12
You can imagine it as like a rocket ship.
10:14
Then I think of your fears as this counterforce.
10:17
And it's almost as if I like took my hand and I stopped that
10:20
rocket ship from moving. If your fears are stronger than
10:23
your desires, guess who's going to win?
10:25
Your fears are going to win. And This is why so many people
10:28
stay in that weird, nebulous middle ground of never really
10:32
making real progress on their dreams and their goals because
10:35
of these fears that come up. And the a big old category is
10:38
what we're talking about today. There's a fear of rejection,
10:42
there's the imposter syndrome of I don't feel like I know enough,
10:45
what are people going to think of me?
10:46
What if they tell me I'm wrong? What if I don't do it right?
10:49
All of these sub fears within there.
10:51
And then there's the perfectionism, which honestly,
10:54
every single one of these we could do a whole episode on.
10:57
But perfectionism, I think, is personally the bane of my
11:01
existence because I deal with it with so many of my clients, and
11:04
it stops so many people from doing things.
11:07
And it's such a brilliant excuse, right?
11:09
Oh, I just have such high standards for myself that I
11:13
don't, you know, I don't want to release anything that isn't
11:15
exceptional. I'm sorry, but that's fear that
11:18
you're hiding behind because nothing's ever going to be
11:21
perfect. Nothing's ever going to be
11:23
exceptional. And there's this principle in,
11:26
it's more in like the tech space, but it's this idea of the
11:28
minimum viable product. And it's that when they release
11:31
an app or a new product, they will release the minimum viable
11:36
product. Why do they do that?
11:37
Because they can get feedback. They don't wait until it's
11:40
perfect. I heard often times in the
11:43
entrepreneurship classes that I took, if you release a product
11:46
when it's like fully, fully done, you've already missed it.
11:48
You've already missed the potential for that product and
11:51
that the same is true for your work.
11:53
You don't want to be in this place where you're like, it has
11:56
to be perfect because it's very unlikely you're ever going to
11:59
release it. And that perfectionism is what's
12:02
really holding you back. Another big part of this fear of
12:05
being seen is past experiences, and those can be your personal
12:08
experiences, right? Like I remember one time I used
12:12
to struggle to learn to read. And so whenever the teacher
12:14
would call on me, I was like in 3rd grade and I was still really
12:17
struggling to learn to read. So I would stutter and I would
12:20
make mistakes and all sorts of things like that and the teacher
12:23
would call on me and I would get so nervous and that fear was
12:26
something I had to overcome those memories because I was so
12:29
afraid of that judgement from those experiences.
12:32
So it can be your past experiences, but it can also be
12:35
we have mirror neurons, right? When we see something happening
12:38
with somebody else, we apply it to ourselves.
12:40
Our subconscious mind basically is exceptionally self-centered
12:44
and it thinks everything that you are experiencing is about
12:47
you. And so if you see someone in the
12:50
media, right, who is being super harshly judged, especially in an
12:56
area where you're interested in being, or you see somebody that
12:59
is just getting like dragged through the ringer.
13:01
This was really popular, I think, in the media in the early
13:05
2000s. Like I think of like Paris
13:06
Hilton and Nicole Richie and all of these women who were very
13:10
young women and they were treated horribly by the media.
13:13
Those experiences can affect you because you don't want that to
13:17
happen. And you may never consciously
13:19
realize it, but you're taking that in and it's informing your
13:22
subconscious blueprint on how comfortable do I feel putting
13:26
myself out there? How safe does it feel?
13:29
And then if it doesn't feel safe, we put on that
13:31
invisibility cloak. So I want to talk a little bit
13:34
about the brain and the science behind what happens with this
13:37
fear of being seen. So one big piece of it is what I
13:41
mentioned before, that social pain is processed the same as
13:45
physical pain. We will do a lot to avoid
13:48
physical pain and we will do probably even more to avoid
13:51
social pain because it's so difficult.
13:54
And when we want to put our work out there in the world,
13:56
typically social pain is the pain that we're going to often
13:59
experience. So the other thing I want to
14:01
mention is this idea of the spotlight effect.
14:03
And this is a well researched psychological concept.
14:06
And that's it's this idea that we wildly overestimate how much
14:11
people are thinking about us and the negative nature of what
14:15
they're thinking about us. So we think, Oh my gosh, they're
14:17
thinking I stink, They're thinking I'm awful.
14:19
They're thinking all of these things that are bad about me
14:23
when in reality, a, they're not really even thinking about you.
14:26
They're so busy thinking about themselves.
14:29
Think about the percentage of the day that you think about
14:31
yourself versus other people. I would imagine it's probably
14:35
mostly about you. Same with everybody else.
14:38
Second, we overestimate how negative it's going to be.
14:41
When I started posting on Instagram, which if you want to
14:44
see like a journey, you can scroll to the video, my
14:46
Instagram account and see my old videos because like I've grown a
14:50
lot. I sell a lot of growth, but I've
14:51
grown a lot and I was so scared that people would leave mean
14:55
comments on my post. And even to this day, which it's
14:59
been three years that I've been posting content for this
15:02
business, I still really haven't gotten any comments that I was
15:05
like, Oh my God, that was so terrible and painful.
15:08
Like most of them. I'm just like, this is kind of
15:10
funny. This person seems like they have
15:12
like stuff to work through, right?
15:14
It's not about me. It doesn't stick to me.
15:16
And so it's extremely rare, but yet that stops so many people
15:19
from doing it. The other thing I want to
15:21
mention is that we can rewire this.
15:23
We can change this perception because think about it.
15:27
There's people out there who don't have this fear.
15:29
Lady Gaga, right? She's chilling on stage with
15:32
people. She's dealing with all of that
15:34
media attention. Same with like Taylor Swift.
15:37
She's OK with it, right? They're thriving in that space.
15:40
So there's examples of people thriving with that exposure and
15:43
you can do that too. And that's what we're going to
15:46
talk about. Now, before I get into that, I
15:48
actually want to mention one other piece and I want to
15:50
mention how this works within the nervous system because a lot
15:54
of our fear of being seen is very based in our subconscious,
15:57
which I'll talk about in our nervous system, which if you've
15:59
heard me talk about this, they're really one in the same.
16:01
You have different responses of your nervous system.
16:03
There's fight, flight, or freeze or fond.
16:06
That happened when we are in fear.
16:09
And then ideally we're not in that sympathetic state.
16:12
We're in the parasympathetic state, which is our creative
16:15
space. It's when we feel like
16:17
socializing. It's when we feel creative, when
16:19
we feel like ideas are flowing. It's when we're relaxed.
16:22
That's when we receive our ideas right.
16:24
I call it the receivership mode. What happens is when we have
16:27
these underlying fears, it's hard for us to not be in that
16:31
fight or flight space or that freeze space because we fear
16:34
what other people are going to think.
16:36
And often times what I've seen with my clients is that most of
16:38
the time the fear of being seen shows up with the freeze
16:42
response. So I want to talk about how this
16:44
might show up so you can identify how it might be at play
16:47
for you. One way is through what I call
16:50
like being blank in the brain. And it's this idea that you may
16:53
sit down to write or you may sit down to create something, some
16:57
piece of work or build a part of your business.
17:00
And you just feel like you have no ideas.
17:02
Like you're staring at a blank page and you're like, I don't
17:04
even know where to start. When in reality, you probably
17:07
actually do. You probably could do one or two
17:10
or three or even 10 steps. But we get into that space where
17:14
we think we don't know what to do or we procrastinate it.
17:16
We sit down and we're like, OK, well, I just should probably
17:18
move the laundry 1st and then maybe I should like make some
17:21
tea because that's going to make this more enjoyable.
17:23
And then, you know, I should probably like pet my dog because
17:25
he looks so cute, right? This is me personally doing
17:28
this, understanding that that is one way.
17:30
It's avoiding of a fear. That's what the freeze response
17:33
is. It's an avoidance mechanism
17:35
because there's something underlying that you may not be
17:38
consciously aware of never having enough time for your
17:42
goals. When people tell me, you know,
17:44
I, I think I'll ask people like, what do you think is the biggest
17:47
thing that needs to change for you to reach X goal?
17:50
And people will be like, you know, I just need more time.
17:52
Honestly, it's never time. It is a lack of resourcefulness.
17:57
It is a fear underneath the surface time.
18:00
We all have time for what we want.
18:03
We all have equal amounts of time, right?
18:06
You have the same amount of time in the day as Elon Musk.
18:08
Elon Musk has been able to create all sorts of things,
18:12
right? He's now a trillionaire with the
18:14
same amount of time, so he's just using his time differently.
18:18
He's just infinitely resourceful.
18:21
Tony always says it's not about a lack of resources, it's about
18:24
a lack of resourcefulness. Time is never the issue, but if
18:27
you're saying you don't have time, it's because you're
18:29
subconsciously fearing it and probably prioritizing other
18:33
things above what you really want.
18:36
Look at your calendar and say, is this reflecting the life I
18:39
want to create? How I'm spending my time?
18:41
If not, you know where to start. So feeling creatively blocked?
18:46
Something I highly recommend for anyone who is pursuing anything
18:50
that I'm talking about in this episode is the book The Artist's
18:53
Way. It's an amazing way to tap into
18:56
your creativity, tap into your intuition, tap into those deeper
19:00
aspects of yourself and feel like you're able to channel more
19:04
wisdom. You're able to channel more
19:06
clarity. Another way this can show up is
19:08
I need one more certification or I need one more course or I need
19:12
one more coach before I can to start.
19:14
The thing is, you can do all of those things while
19:17
simultaneously starting. It's not an either or situation.
19:22
And so I encourage you to really get honest with yourself.
19:26
A lot of this is about just being honest.
19:28
Do I actually need this course first?
19:31
I spent so many years like getting all these nutrition
19:34
certifications before I started my nutrition health coaching
19:39
business, which then like completely flopped because I
19:43
didn't have the right mindset. I had all these certifications.
19:46
It didn't matter that I had more certifications.
19:49
I didn't have the right mindset. And so noticing how are you
19:53
procrastinating my work isn't quite good enough yet, right?
19:56
I talked about this earlier, this perfectionism.
20:00
I'm just going to edit it one more time before I release it.
20:02
Somebody told me recently she was like, yeah, I'll create all
20:05
this content and then I'll save it and be ready to post it.
20:07
But then when I go to post it, I see it's not perfect and it
20:10
could be a lot better. So I just don't post it.
20:12
So she's literally making the content, just not posting it.
20:15
That is not using your time effectively, you know, And so
20:19
noticing these underlying fears and as we rewire these
20:23
underlying fears that. We don't even often times know
20:26
are happening. We just know the symptom of what
20:29
we're experiencing. Everything will change.
20:32
That invisibility cloak will come off.
20:34
I've done this many times, this work on the fear of being seen
20:36
because I think every new level, it requires a new expansion of
20:40
this ability to be seen. Every time I've had a big jump
20:44
in my social media, it's because of this.
20:46
I have a friend and she was telling me how she used to get
20:48
like heart palpitations when her reels would start to do well,
20:52
like get 50,000 views or something like that.
20:54
She's like, I'd be so scared. I wouldn't want to post for days
20:56
after that. So I had her do some of my
20:59
rewiring sessions and she has been able to grow.
21:01
She was at 3000. Now she's at 15,000 followers
21:04
because she doesn't have that energetic invisibility cloak.
21:07
That's a symptom of that energetic invisibility cloak of
21:11
I don't really want you to see me.
21:12
I don't really want the negative feedback.
21:14
So like, I'm going to kind of stay back here.
21:16
You show up as a watered down version of yourself.
21:19
You may endlessly plan or you may never stick to a plan.
21:22
You may be hump jumping from here to here to here to here to
21:25
here. That's avoidance, right?
21:27
You have to get very honest with yourself and then feeling you
21:30
can't say what you really want to say.
21:33
And I think one of the biggest reasons that this is
21:35
frightening, this fear, is because it's very vulnerable.
21:39
And vulnerability is uncomfortable, right?
21:42
But if you've ever followed any of Britney Brown's work, she
21:44
talks about how you can't have a wholehearted, complete life if
21:49
you aren't willing to be vulnerable.
21:51
And I have this quote here that I want to share with you.
21:54
Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgement
21:57
and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen.
22:01
This is vulnerability, and I love that.
22:04
I think that's so powerful. It's true, it's vulnerable.
22:07
I think there's nothing more exciting than somebody going
22:10
after their dreams, whether they succeed or fail.
22:13
I am impressed by that person because I know what it takes and
22:17
I know how much you have to really own it and trust yourself
22:21
to do that. So let's talk about how do we
22:23
actually overcome this fear? And I'm going to give you kind
22:26
of like the three pieces to this puzzle.
22:29
So the first one, if you've listened to my podcast, you're
22:32
not going to be shocked by this, is rewiring this at the
22:35
subconscious level because these fears operate below our
22:39
awareness. They are the fears that are
22:41
creating the actions. They're creating the
22:44
procrastination, they're creating the not posting,
22:47
they're creating the not having any ideas about what to write
22:50
about. And so when you clear those
22:52
fears and you make it safe, it's like you remove this resistance
22:56
that has been living in your mind.
23:00
And so that's the first step that we want to do.
23:02
When I do this with my clients, I use a variety of different
23:06
tools. So I know when I say rewire, the
23:08
subconscious, people don't always know what that means,
23:10
right? They think, is it affirmations?
23:12
Is it scripting? Is it visualization?
23:15
I believe that those are the last step of the rewiring
23:18
process. Same with like subliminals.
23:20
Same with anything you're really going to get on YouTube.
23:22
Same with those pieces. I believe that first we have to
23:26
identify how it's showing up right?
23:28
The symptom in your reality, any memories associated with it,
23:32
because those are the root. Then we need to neutralize that
23:36
fear, that emotional charge within the mind because if
23:40
something doesn't have an emotion attached to it, it's
23:43
meaningless, right? If I say purple cow, you're
23:46
probably not feeling anything unless you have like history of
23:49
trauma with a purple cow because it doesn't mean anything to you.
23:53
So we want to make sure that we are neutralizing that emotion.
23:57
So it doesn't matter. I do that with my clients
24:00
through a variety of different tools.
24:02
I use about 10 different tools. So it could be hypnosis, RT,
24:06
EFT, NLP. I use energy healing all these
24:09
pieces because what I find is each tool is excellent at a
24:13
different angle. They all access the mine in
24:15
different ways, so I find when we use more of them, it gets a
24:18
better result and my clients can drop these fears much more
24:22
quickly than it would take with one method over many months.
24:27
That's kind of a nuts and bolts of how you would go about this
24:29
rewiring process, how I've found it to be the most effective.
24:33
And if you want support with that, you can message me the
24:36
word podcast on Instagram. My Instagram is at alignment
24:40
with Jen or you can e-mail it to me.
24:43
I'll put my e-mail in the show notes of this and I will share a
24:47
5 minute video about my program and you can see if that's right
24:50
for you. So that's the first piece.
24:52
The second piece of this, and this is associated with the
24:56
first, right? This will be a natural byproduct
24:58
of rewiring your mind. It is also creating safety
25:03
around being seen. And we do that through
25:07
breathing, right? Calming our nervous system,
25:09
allowing ourselves to do it in small ways that feel safe.
25:14
I don't really believe in like overwhelming your nervous system
25:17
and being like, OK, you know, I'm suddenly going to just like
25:19
go speak in front of 1000 people, even though I'm
25:22
terrified of being seen and this was going to and give me a panic
25:26
attack beforehand. Personally, I think that can
25:29
work for some people. I think it's nice if we do it in
25:32
a, a softer way, right, A more feminine approach.
25:35
And that can be through small exposures to these things that
25:39
you're afraid of. And this is kind of part of the
25:42
third of piece of it. It's creating that evidence for
25:45
your mind that it's safe to be seen.
25:47
Our mind is learning always through evidence, evidence of,
25:51
of what's going on in our reality when we are able to
25:54
create new evidence be seen, right?
25:57
Post a reel and maybe you do some breathing exercises.
26:00
Maybe you do a little bit of tapping to calm your nervous
26:02
system while you're posting it to feel a little bit safer and
26:06
just kind of practice a little bit of exposure and you'll do it
26:10
and you'll check it and you'll be like, OK, that's a little
26:11
cringe maybe, but I didn't die. I'm good.
26:14
And the mind starts to see, right.
26:17
Evidence is a very important part of the rewiring process.
26:20
We want to clear fear, the fear and the emotion at the root, and
26:23
then create evidence and aligned behaviors.
26:26
The more that you can align your behaviors with that woman who's
26:29
comfortable being seen, the more that you are going to be able to
26:33
really truly create these changes and you will notice that
26:37
over time, you just are really comfortable with it.
26:40
You feel comfortable sharing yourself.
26:41
You feel comfortable being yourself.
26:43
And I really think at the root, the reason I love working with
26:46
people on the fear of being seen is it's really a fear of being
26:49
your authentic self. If we were to really summarize
26:52
it, it's a fear of if I am my authentic self, my most
26:56
expressed self, somebody might reject me.
26:59
And when we can overcome that fear, every area of your life
27:03
changes, your income changes, your relationships change,
27:07
right? We're able to actually voice our
27:08
needs to our partner. We're able to really show up for
27:11
ourselves fully with our friendships, our business
27:14
changes, our purpose changes, how we show up for our children
27:17
changes. All of these pieces change, so
27:21
those are the big, big kind of categories of that.
27:24
Again, send me that Word podcast on Instagram if you want help
27:28
going through this process, but I hope that this was super
27:31
helpful for you and I will see you in the next episode.