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Sara Crewe Chapter 1 · The Frances Hodgson Burnett Library

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Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information and to find out
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Speaker 1: how you can volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Sarah
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Speaker 1: Crewe or What Happened at Miss Minchin's by Francis Hodgson Burnett,
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Speaker 1: Part one. In the first place, Miss Minchin lived in London.
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Speaker 1: Her home was a large, dull tall one in a
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Speaker 1: large dull square, where all the houses were alike, and
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Speaker 1: all the sparrows were alike, and where all the door
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Speaker 1: knockers made the same heavy sound, and on still days,
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Speaker 1: and nearly all the days were still seemed to resound
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Speaker 1: through the entire row in which the knock was knocked.
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Speaker 1: On Miss Minchin's door, there was a brass plate. On
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Speaker 1: the brass plate there was inscribed in black letters miss
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Speaker 1: Minchin's select Seminary for Young Ladies. Little Sarah crew never
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Speaker 1: went in or out of the house without reading that
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Speaker 1: door plate and reflecting upon it. By the time she
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Speaker 1: was twelve, she had decided that all her troubles arose because,
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Speaker 1: in the first place, she was not select, and in
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Speaker 1: the second place, she was not a young lady. When
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Speaker 1: she was eight years old, She had been brought to
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Speaker 1: Miss Minchin as a pupil and left with her. Her
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Speaker 1: papa had brought her all the way from India. Her
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Speaker 1: Mamma had died when she was a baby, and her
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Speaker 1: papa had kept her with him as long as he could,
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Speaker 1: and then, finding the hot climate was making her very delicate,
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Speaker 1: he had brought her to England and left her with
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Speaker 1: Miss Minchin to be part of the select seminary for
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Speaker 1: young ladies. Sarah, who had always been a sharp little
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Speaker 1: child who remembered things, recollected hearing him say that he
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Speaker 1: had not a relative in the world whom he knew of,
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Speaker 1: and so he was obliged to place her at a
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Speaker 1: boarding school, and he had heard Miss Minchin's establishment spoken
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Speaker 1: of very highly. The same day he took Sarah out
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Speaker 1: and bought her a great many beautiful clothes, clothes so
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Speaker 1: grand and rich that only a very young and inexperienced
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Speaker 1: man would have bought them for a mite of a
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Speaker 1: child who was going to be brought up in a
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Speaker 1: boarding school. But the fact that he was a rash,
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Speaker 1: innocent young man and very sad at the thought of
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Speaker 1: parting with his little girl, who was all he had
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Speaker 1: left to remind him of her beautiful mother, whom he
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Speaker 1: had dearly loved, and he wished her to have everything
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Speaker 1: the most fortunate little girl could have. And so when
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Speaker 1: the polite saleswoman in the shop said, here is our
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Speaker 1: very latest thing in hats. The plumes are exactly the
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Speaker 1: same as those we sold to Lady Diane Sinclair yesterday,
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Speaker 1: he immediately bought what was offered to him and paid
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Speaker 1: whatever was asked. The consequence was that Sara had a
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Speaker 1: most extraordinary wardrobe. Her dresses were silk and velvet and
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Speaker 1: India cashmere, Her hats and bonnets were covered with bows
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Speaker 1: and plumes, her small undergarments were adorned with real lace.
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Speaker 1: And she returned in the cab to Miss Minchin's with
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Speaker 1: a doll almost as large as herself, dressed quite as
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Speaker 1: grandly as herself too. Then her papa gave Miss Minchin
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Speaker 1: some money and went away. And for several days Sara
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Speaker 1: would neither touch the doll, nor her breakfast, nor her dinner,
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Speaker 1: nor her tea, and would do nothing but crouch in
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Speaker 1: the small corner by the window and cry. She cried
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Speaker 1: so much, indeed, that she made herself ill. She was
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Speaker 1: a queer little child with old fashioned ways and strong feelings,
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Speaker 1: and she had adored her Papa and could not be
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Speaker 1: made to think that India and an interesting bungalow were
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Speaker 1: not better for her than London and Miss Minchin's Select Seminary.
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Speaker 1: The instant she had entered the house, she had begun
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Speaker 1: promptly to hate Miss Minchin, and to think little of
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Speaker 1: Miss Amelia Minchin, who was smooth and dumpy and lisped,
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Speaker 1: and was evidently afraid of her older sister. Miss Minchin
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Speaker 1: was tall and had large, cold, fishy eyes and large
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Speaker 1: cold hands, which seemed fishy too, because they were damp
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Speaker 1: and made chills run down Sarah's back when they touched her,
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Speaker 1: as Miss Minchin pushed her hair off her forehead and said,
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Speaker 1: a most beautiful and promising little girl, Captain Crewe, she
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Speaker 1: will be a favorite pupil, quite a favorite pupil. I see.
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Speaker 1: For the first year she was a favorite pupil. At
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Speaker 1: least she was indulged a great deal more than was
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Speaker 1: good for her. And when the Select Seminary went walking
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Speaker 1: two by two, she was always decked out in her
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Speaker 1: grandest clothes and led by the hand at the head
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Speaker 1: of the genteel procession by Miss Minchin herself, and when
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Speaker 1: the parents of any of the pupils came, she was
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Speaker 1: always dressed and called into the parlor with her doll.
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Speaker 1: And she used to hear Miss Minchin say that her
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Speaker 1: father was a distinguished Indian officer and she would be
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Speaker 1: an heiress to a great fortune, that her father had
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Speaker 1: inherited a great deal of money Sarah had heard before,
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Speaker 1: and also that some day it would be hers, and
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Speaker 1: that he would not remain long in the army, but
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Speaker 1: would come to live in London. And every time a
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Speaker 1: letter came she hoped it would say he was coming
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Speaker 1: and they were to live together again. But about the
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Speaker 1: middle of the third year a letter came bringing very
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Speaker 1: different news. Because he was not a business man himself,
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Speaker 1: her papa had given his affairs into the hands of
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Speaker 1: a friend he trusted. The friend had deceived and robbed him.
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Speaker 1: All the money was gone, no one knew exactly where,
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Speaker 1: and the shock was so great to the poor rash
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Speaker 1: young officer that being attacked by jungle fever shortly afterward,
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Speaker 1: he had no strength to rally and so died, leaving
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Speaker 1: Sara with no one to take care of her. Miss
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Speaker 1: Minchin's cold and fishy eyes had never looked so cold
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Speaker 1: and fishy as they did when Sarah went into the
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Speaker 1: parlor on being sent for a few days after the
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Speaker 1: letter was received, no one had said anything to the
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Speaker 1: child about mourning, so in her old fashioned way, she
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Speaker 1: had decided to find a black dress for herself, and
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Speaker 1: had picked out a black velvet she had outgrown, and
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Speaker 1: came into the room in it, looking the queerest little
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Speaker 1: figure in the world, and a sad little figure too.
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Speaker 1: The dress was too short and too tight, her face
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Speaker 1: was white, her eyes had dark rings around them, and
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Speaker 1: her doll, wrapped in a piece of old black crape,
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Speaker 1: was held under her arm. She was not a pretty child.
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Speaker 1: She was thin and had a weird, interesting little face,
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Speaker 1: short black hair, and very large green gray eyes, fringed
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Speaker 1: all around with heavy black lashes. I am the ugliest
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Speaker 1: child in the school, she had said once, after staring
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Speaker 1: at herself in the glass for some minutes. But there
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Speaker 1: had been a clever, good natured little French teacher who
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Speaker 1: had said to the music master, set little crew, that
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Speaker 1: a child and so ugly beauty ZI, so large eyes, ZI,
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Speaker 1: so little spirituelle face. They till she grow up? You
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Speaker 1: shall see this morning. However, in the tight, small black frock,
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Speaker 1: she looked thinner and odder than ever, and her eyes
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Speaker 1: were fixed on Miss Minchin with a queer steadiness, as
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Speaker 1: she slowly advanced into the parlor, clutching her doll. Put
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Speaker 1: your doll down, said miss Minchin. No, said the child.
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Speaker 1: I won't put her down. I want her with me.
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Speaker 1: She is all I have. She has stayed with me
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Speaker 1: all the time since my papa died. She had never
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Speaker 1: been an obedient child. She had had her own way
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Speaker 1: ever since she was born, and there was about her
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Speaker 1: an air of silent determination under which Miss Minchin had
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Speaker 1: always felt secretly uncomfortable, and that lady felt even now
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Speaker 1: that perhaps it would be as well not to insist
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Speaker 1: on her point. So she looked at her as severely
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Speaker 1: as possible. You will have no time for dolls in future,
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Speaker 1: she said. You will have to work and improve yourself
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Speaker 1: and make yourself useful. Sarah kept the big odd eyes
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Speaker 1: fixed on her teacher and said nothing. Everything will be
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Speaker 1: different now, Miss Minchin went on. I sent for you
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Speaker 1: to talk to you and make you understand. Your father
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Speaker 1: is dead. You have no friends, you have no money,
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Speaker 1: you have no home. And no one to take care
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Speaker 1: of you. The little pale Olah face twitched nervously, but
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Speaker 1: the green gray eyes did not move from Miss Minchin's
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Speaker 1: and still Sarah said nothing. What are you staring at?
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Speaker 1: Demanded Miss Minchin, sharply, Are you so stupid that you
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Speaker 1: don't understand what I mean? I tell you that you
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Speaker 1: are quite alone in the world, and have no one
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Speaker 1: to do anything for you unless I choose to keep
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Speaker 1: you here. The truth was, Miss Minchin was in her
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Speaker 1: worst mood. To be suddenly deprived of a large sum
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Speaker 1: of money yearly and a show pupil, and to find
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Speaker 1: herself with a little beggar on her hands was more
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Speaker 1: than she can bear with any degree of calmness. Now
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Speaker 1: listen to me, she went on, and remember what I say.
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Speaker 1: If you work hard and prepare to make yourself useful
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Speaker 1: in a few years, I shall let you stay here.
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Speaker 1: You are only a child, but you are a sharp child,
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Speaker 1: and you pick up things almost without being taught. You
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Speaker 1: speak French very well, and in a year or so
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Speaker 1: you can begin to help with the younger pupils. By
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Speaker 1: the time you are fifteen. You ought to be able
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Speaker 1: to do that much. At least I can speak French
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Speaker 1: better than you, now, said Sarah. I always spoke it
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Speaker 1: with my Papa in India, which was not at all polite,
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Speaker 1: but was painfully true, because Miss Minchin could not speak
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Speaker 1: French at all, and indeed was not in the least
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Speaker 1: a clever person. But she was a hard grasping business woman,
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Speaker 1: and after the first shock of disappointment, had seen that,
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Speaker 1: at very little expense to herself, she might prepare this clever,
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Speaker 1: determined child to be very useful to her and save
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Speaker 1: her the necessity of paying large salaries to teachers of languages.
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Speaker 1: Don't be impudent, or you will be punished, she said.
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Speaker 1: You will have to improve your manners if you expect
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Speaker 1: to earn your bread. You are not a parlor boarder.
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Speaker 1: Now remember that if you don't please me and I
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Speaker 1: send you away, you have no home but the street.
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Speaker 1: You can go now, Sarah turned away. Stay commanded, Miss Minchin.
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Speaker 1: Don't you intend to thank me? Sarah turned toward her.
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Speaker 1: The nervous twitch was to be seen in her face,
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Speaker 1: and she seemed to be trying to control it. What for,
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Speaker 1: she said, for my kindness to you, replied Miss Minchin,
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Speaker 1: for my kindness in giving you a home. Sarah went
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Speaker 1: two or three steps nearer to her. Her thin little
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Speaker 1: chest was heaving up and down, and she spoke in
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Speaker 1: a strange, unchildish voice. You are not kind, she said,
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Speaker 1: you are not And she turned again and went out
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Speaker 1: of the room, leaving Miss Minchin staring after her, strange,
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Speaker 1: small figure and stony anger. The child walked up the staircase,
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Speaker 1: holding tightly to her doll. She meant to go to
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Speaker 1: her bedroom, but at the door she was met by
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Speaker 1: miss Amelia. You are not to go in there, she said,
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Speaker 1: that is not your room. Now where is my room?
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Speaker 1: Asked Sarah. You are to sleep in the attic next
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Speaker 1: to the cook. Sarah walked on. She mounted two flights
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Speaker 1: more and reached the door of the attic room, opened it,
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Speaker 1: and went in, shutting it behind her. She stood against
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Speaker 1: it and looked about her. The room was slanting, roofed
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Speaker 1: and whitewashed. There was a rusty grate, an iron bedstead,
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Speaker 1: and some odd art cults of furniture sent up from
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Speaker 1: better rooms below, where they had been used until they
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Speaker 1: were considered to be worn out. Under the skylight in
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Speaker 1: the roof, which showed nothing but an oblong piece of
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Speaker 1: dull gray sky. There was a battered, old red footstool.
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Speaker 1: Sarah went to it and sat down. She was a
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Speaker 1: queer child, as I have said before, and quite unlike
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Speaker 1: other children, she seldom cried. She did not cry now.
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Speaker 1: She laid her doll Emily across her knees and put
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Speaker 1: her face down upon her and her arms around her,
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Speaker 1: and sat there, her little black head resting upon the
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Speaker 1: black crape, not saying one word, not making one sound.
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Speaker 1: From that day her life changed entirely. Sometimes she used
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Speaker 1: to feel as if it must be be another life, altogether,
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Speaker 1: the life of some other child. She was a little
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Speaker 1: drudge and outcast. She was given her lessons at odd
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Speaker 1: times and expected to learn without being taught. She was
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Speaker 1: sent on errands by Miss Minchin, Miss Amelia, and the cook.
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Speaker 1: Nobody took any notice of her except when they ordered
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Speaker 1: her about. She was often kept busy all day and
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Speaker 1: then sent into the deserted schoolroom with a pile of
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Speaker 1: books to learn her lessons or practice at night. She
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Speaker 1: had never been intimate with the other pupils, and soon
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Speaker 1: she became so shabby that, taking her queer clothes together
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Speaker 1: with her queer little ways, they began to look upon
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Speaker 1: her as being of another world than their own. The
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Speaker 1: fact was that, as a rule, Miss Minchin's pupils were
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Speaker 1: rather dull, matter of fact, young people accustomed to being
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Speaker 1: rich and comfortable, and Sara, with her elfish cleverness, her
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Speaker 1: desolate life, and her odd habit of fixing her eyes
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Speaker 1: upon them and staring them out of countenance, was too
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Speaker 1: much for them. She always looks as if she was
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Speaker 1: finding you out, said one girl, who was sly in
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Speaker 1: giving to making mischief. I am, said Sarah promptly, when
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Speaker 1: she heard of it. That's what I look at them for.
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Speaker 1: I like to know about people. I think them over. Afterward,
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Speaker 1: she never made any mischief herself or interfered with any one.
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Speaker 1: She talked very little, did as she was told, and
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Speaker 1: thought a great deal. Nobody knew, and in fact, nobody
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Speaker 1: cared whether she was unhappy or happy, unless perhaps it
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Speaker 1: was Emily, who lived in the attic and slept in
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Speaker 1: the iron bedstead at night. Sara thought Emily understood her feelings,
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Speaker 1: though she was only wax and had a habit of
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Speaker 1: staring herself. Sara used to talk to her at night,
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Speaker 1: You are the only friend I have in the world.
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Speaker 1: She would say to her, why don't you say something?
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Speaker 1: Why don't you speak? Sometimes? I am sure you could
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Speaker 1: if you would try. It ought to make you try
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Speaker 1: to know. You are the only thing I have. If
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Speaker 1: I were you, I should try. Why don't you try?
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Speaker 1: It really was a very strange feeling she had about Emily.
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Speaker 1: It arose from her being so desolate. She did not
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Speaker 1: like to own to herself that her only friend, her
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Speaker 1: only companion, could feel and hear nothing. She wanted to
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Speaker 1: believe or to pretend to believe that Emily understood and
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Speaker 1: sympathized with her, that she heard her, even though she
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Speaker 1: did not speak in answer. She used to put her
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Speaker 1: in a chair sometimes and sit opposite to her on
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Speaker 1: the old red footstool and stare at her and think
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Speaker 1: and pretend about her, until her own eyes would grow
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Speaker 1: large with something which was almost like fear, particularly at
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Speaker 1: night when the garret was so still, when the only
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Speaker 1: sound that was to be heard was the occasional squeak
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Speaker 1: and scurry of rats in the wainscot. There were rat
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Speaker 1: holes in the garret, and Sarah detested rats and was
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Speaker 1: always glad Emily was with her when she heard their
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Speaker 1: hateful squeak and rush and scratching. One of her pretends
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Speaker 1: was that Emily was a kind of good witch and
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Speaker 1: could protect her poor little Sarah. Everything was pretend with her.
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Speaker 1: She had a strong imagination. There was almost more imagination
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Speaker 1: than there was Sarah, and her whole forlorn, uncared for
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Speaker 1: child life was made up of imaginings. She imagined and
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Speaker 1: pretended things until she almost believed them, and she would
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Speaker 1: scarcely have been surprised at any remarkable thing that could
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Speaker 1: have happened. So she insisted to herself that Emily understood
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Speaker 1: all about her troubles and really was her friend. As
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Speaker 1: to answering, she used to say, I don't answer very often.
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Speaker 1: I never answer when I can help it. When people
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Speaker 1: are insulting you, there is nothing so good for them
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Speaker 1: as not to say a word, just to look at
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Speaker 1: them and think. Miss Minchin turns pale with rage when
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Speaker 1: I do it. Miss Amelia looks frightened. So do the girls.
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Speaker 1: They know you are stronger than they are, because you
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Speaker 1: are strong enough to hold in your rage and they
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Speaker 1: are not, and they say stupid things they wish they
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Speaker 1: hadn't said. Afterward. There's nothing so strong as rage except
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Speaker 1: what makes you hold it in? That's stronger. It's a
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Speaker 1: good thing not to answer your enemies, I scarcely ever do.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps Emily is more like me than I am like myself.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps she would rather not answer her friends, even she
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Speaker 1: keeps it all in her heart. But though she tried
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Speaker 1: to satisfy herself with these arguments, Sarah did not find
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Speaker 1: it easy when after a long, hard day in which
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Speaker 1: she had been sent here and there, sometimes on long errands,
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Speaker 1: through wind and cold and rain, and when she came
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Speaker 1: in wet and hungry, and had been sent out again
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Speaker 1: because nobody chose to remember that she was only a child,
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Speaker 1: and that her thin little legs might be tired, and
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Speaker 1: her small body, clad in its forlorn too small finery,
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Speaker 1: all too short and too tight, might be chilled. When
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Speaker 1: she had been given only harsh words and cold slighting
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Speaker 1: looks for thanks, when the cook had been vulgar and insolent,
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Speaker 1: when miss Minchin had been in her worst moods, and
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Speaker 1: when she had seen the girls sneering at her among
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Speaker 1: themselves and making fun of her poor outgrown clothes, then
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Speaker 1: Sara did not find Emily quite all that her sore, proud,
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Speaker 1: desolate little heart needed, as the doll sat in her
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Speaker 1: little old chair and stared. One of these nights, when
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Speaker 1: she came up to the garret, cold, hungry, tired, and
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Speaker 1: with a tempest raging in her small breast, Emily's stare
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Speaker 1: seemed so vacant, her sawdust legs and arms, so limp
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Speaker 1: and inexpressive, that Sara lost all control over herself. I
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Speaker 1: shall die, presently, she said. At first, Emily stared. I
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Speaker 1: can't bear this, said the poor child, trembling. I know
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Speaker 1: I shall die. I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm starving to death.
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Speaker 1: I've walked a thousand miles to day, and they have
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Speaker 1: done nothing but scold me from morning until night. And
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Speaker 1: because I could not find that last thing they sent
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Speaker 1: me for, they would not give me any supper. Some
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Speaker 1: men laughed at me because my old shoes made me
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Speaker 1: slip in the mud. I'm covered with mud now, and
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Speaker 1: they laughed. Do you hear? She looked at the staring
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Speaker 1: glass eyes and complacent wax face, and suddenly a sort
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Speaker 1: of heart broken rage seized her. She lifted her savage
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Speaker 1: little hand and knocked Emily off the chair, bursting into
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Speaker 1: a passion of sobbing you are nothing but a doll,
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Speaker 1: she cried, nothing but a doll, doll, doll, you care
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Speaker 1: for nothing. You are stuck with sawdust. You never had
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Speaker 1: a heart. Nothing could make you feel you are a doll.
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Speaker 1: Emily lay upon the floor with her legs ignominiously doubled
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Speaker 1: up over her head and a new flat place on
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Speaker 1: the end of her nose. But she was still calm,
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Speaker 1: even dignified. Sarah hid her face on her arms and sobbed.
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Speaker 1: Some rats in the wall began to fight and bite
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Speaker 1: each other and squeak and scramble, But as I have
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Speaker 1: already intimated, Sara was not in the habit of crying.
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Speaker 1: After a while, she stopped, And when she stopped, she
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Speaker 1: looked at Emily, who seemed to be gazing at her
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Speaker 1: around the side of one ankle, and actually with a
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Speaker 1: kind of glassy eyed sympathy. Sarah bent and picked her up.
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Speaker 1: Remorse overtook her. You can't help being a doll, she said,
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Speaker 1: with a resigned sigh, any more than those girls downstairs
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Speaker 1: can help not having any sense. We are not all alike.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps you do your sawdust best. End of Part one